Friday came and Hermione found herself alone the whole day. Harry had to work the entire day, and then was going straight from the Ministry out to his stag night with Draco. Ginny was supposed to have been home for the weekend, but had to make a last minute trip to Wales and wouldn't be home until the following morning.
Hermione didn't mind being alone during the day. She reveled in the peace and quiet of the little village; a stark contrast to the never-ending buzz of the the city she had grown accustomed to. If she was in the need of human presence, all she had to do was walk down the street. Sitting at the little corner cafe, Hermione could enjoy the company of people, without actually having to interact with them.
She came to find, though, that in evenings, especially that evening, she longed for the sounds of cars, sirens, and screaming neighbors. Anything that drove away the loneliness and gave her something to focus on, besides the dark craziness in her mind.
Books helped at first, but her eyes grew weary. The feeble hope crossed her mind that maybe she was tired enough to sleep, but it was only a pipe dream. She lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to will sleep to happen. But it never came.
'Well, if sleep isn't going to come, maybe I should?' Hermione thought. It had been a while since she brought herself to orgasm, and it usually was a good homemade remedy for sleep. She stripped off her sweaty clothes and let the cool breeze, from the window, caress her body.
Relaxing under the cool air, Hermione slowly ran her hands over her breasts, gently squeezing and pulling at their softness. Her nipples responded, instantly stiffening in arousal. Licking her index finger and thumb, she pinched her left nipple and let her right hand slip down to her clit. She plunged two fingers into her wetness that was collecting in anticipation.
Slowly, she drew her fingers out and let them slide over her sensitive nub. Gently, she started rubbing and caressing her clit, every so often dipping back into her juices. It didn't take long before she was harshly pulling her nipple and grinding four fingers against her pussy, as her breath became quick and uneven. For a quick second, her body seized before melting underneath a wave of relief and pleasure.
Naked and spread eagle, Hermione closed her eyes and focused on bringing her breathing back to an even pace. Her body now felt exhausted, but her mind was alert and showed no signs of shutting down. With a defeated groan, she rolled out of bed and into the shower.
Down in the kitchen, she took stock of what what in the fridge, and cupboards, and decided to make a beef stew and cupcakes. She wasn't particularly hungry but cooking would let her mind focus on something productive, instead of circling around her usual demons.
Hermione found a Radiohead album and thought it a fitting soundtrack to her current mopey mood. The needle scratched briefly against the vinyl, and then the sounds of Planet Telex filled the house. It wasn't long before the hearty smells permeated the air and Hermione had relaxed in her element.
As her stew was simmering and the chocolate cupcakes were cooling, Hermione mixed up a bowl of strawberry frosting. Humming along to the music and lost in task, the sudden crack of apparition made her shriek and clutch her chest. Forgetting about the spoon in her hand, pink icing splattered her chest.
"Just us, Granger," Draco called from the foyer. He came sauntering into the kitchen, leading a stumbling Harry. Draco leered at the icing on her chest. "You look tasty."
Hermione was about to throw back a remark, but was caught off guard by Harry dragging a warm cupcake across her chest. She felt heat creep into her cheeks and looked at Harry in disbelief as he shoved the entire pastry into his mouth.
"Mmm, thanks Min," Harry drawled, with crumbs lining the edges of his lopsided smile.
"I can help you with the rest of that," Draco suggested. "And I don't need a cupcake for it."
Hermione's cheeks burned hotter. Draco smiled, with an malicious gleam in his eye. Her insides twitched, and she suddenly felt ready for a repeat performance from earlier.
"I think you need to get your boy to bed," Hermione instructed, trying to hide her fluster as she moved to the sink. "Where did you take him anyway?"
"You don't want to know," Draco answered.
"Don't tell Ginny," Harry mumbled.
Hermione raised her eyebrows and laughed. "Oh no, I really do. My curiosity is piqued," she insisted, mopping the icing from her chest. She licked a bit of the sweet cream off her finger, arching a brow at Draco. If she was not mistaken, she heard growl escape his throat.
She honestly had no clue what she was doing, taunting him like that. It was almost like her previous orgasm had sent her hormones into overdrive and now she had no control over them. Draco's stance stayed loose and casual, but his eyes were wild.
"Don't go playing with fire now, Granger," Draco warned. His threat turned her insides to liquid and made her knickers damp.
"Where'd you take him?"
"If you must know, we went on a pub crawl that ended at a muggle strip club," Draco informed, in a way that felt like he was daring Hermione to lecture him.
"Don't tell Ginny," Harry whispered, lazily holding a finger to his lips.
Hermione sighed and turned away to stir the stew. Whatever seductress act she was pulling on Draco, she had to reign it in. After his night, he looked ready to pounce and not at all immune to her playful flirts.
Were they playful? Yes, of course they were playful! This was Draco Malfoy. The boy that had made her and her friends miserable. The reason behind many tears and detentions. Hermione took a deep breath and reasoned that after her solo performance, she was all too aware about how much she craved the touch of another. Maybe Lizzie was right about going out and finding a muggle for a one night stand….
"Get the drunk to bed," Hermione laughed, nodding to the steps. "If you're hungry, come back down. I made plenty."
Draco looked taken aback for a second before nodding. "Okay, that sounds good actually. Save me a seat." He turned to Harry and gently grabbed him by the elbow. "Let's go sleep it off Potter."
Harry allowed himself to be led to the steps, still mumbling, "Don't tell Ginny. Don't tell Gi- whoops!"
Hermione cringed at the crashing sound.
"We're good!" Draco called.
Hermione giggled and started spreading icing on the cupcakes. The record was playing a second time through and she started singing along to her favorite song.
"Kill yourself for recognition, kill yourself to never ever stop," she sang softly, putting the finishing touches on the last cupcake. She started spooning stew into two bowls. "You broke another mirror. You're turning into something you are not. Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry. Don't leave-"
Hermione stopped suddenly, with jolt. Draco was standing in the doorway, studying her.
"Take long for him to pass out?" she asked, setting the steaming bowls on the table.
"Pretty sure he was gone before his head hit the pillow," Draco answered, accepting the spoon Hermione held out.
"You know he'll tell Ginny himself."
"Oh, I know. Those two are like open books with each other."
"Yeah, it's sweet," Hermione gingerly smiled at Draco. "I'm glad you guys were able to take him out to unwind for a night. It doesn't seem like he's had much of a chance lately."
Hermione set a plate of bread on the table and sat down across from Draco. He took a slice and started stirring his stew with it.
"Harry works hard," Draco replied, biting off a chunk of soggy bread. "He deserves a night to let loose. They both do. Make sure Ginny gets a satisfactory hen night."
"Plans are in the works," Hermione assured, blowing on a spoonful of stew.. They ate in silence for several minutes before Draco broke it.
"So, do you like living in New York City?"
Hermione laughed. "I guess so."
"You don't seem so sure about that."
Hermione took her time chewing a crust of bread, thinking out how she wanted to respond. It wasn't that she didn't like New York. It was more that despite living there, she felt very detached from it. She knew the reasons why. She had spent plenty of money and time on therapy sessions, discussing the reasons why. It still didn't change the fact that she longed for more.
"The city is great," Hermione finally offered. "I don't feel like I live there though. Sometimes it feels like I merely just exist there. It's not totally the city's fault. At this point, I think that's how I would feel no matter where I went in the world."
Draco stared at her, his expression softening. Hermione could see the questions rolling around in his mind.
"Go ahead and ask. It's what everyone's afraid of bringing up."
"What happened between you and Weasley?"
Hermione wasn't sure why she felt so willing to talk to Draco about things that night. Maybe it's because he didn't walk on eggshells around her. Harry and Ginny avoided talk of Ron, whenever possible. Even on all the trips they made to the states, they never brought him up unless Hermione asked. At first, that's how she wanted it. She wanted to push certain events as far into the past as possible. Now, after seeing him, she felt like she needed to talk about him…curse him…mourn him, and what they could have had.
"The simple version is, as you put it the other day, we were young and dumb," Hermione started. "We were madly in love, or at least heavily in lust, and didn't want to wait to start our lives together. The war ended in May. We were married that August."
"Yeah, I'd say that was pretty fast," Draco murmured.
"Everyone advised us against it, saying we had barely been dating. But in our minds, we had been dating for years, even if it wasn't official. So, we got married, moved into a small flat in London, got jobs at the Ministry, and started our happily ever after."
"The first year was great. We were in our honeymoon period and everything was rose tinted. Nothing could break our bond. We had lived together for seven years after all, going through more together in that one year than what many couples go through in a lifetime." Draco grimaced and ducked his head at that comment, but Hermione continued. "The beginning was filled with excitement and passion."
"What we hadn't accounted for was that living together for seven years, at school, was very different from living together as a married couple. Sharing everything, everyday, with nowhere to escape. It eventually started chipping away at our armor of happiness."
Draco watched her, listening attentively, so Hermione proceeded. "Ron is a creature of habit, that thrives on consistency. I wanted try new things, travel the world. He wanted to take me to the same, dingy pub, every Friday night, and call it a date. You know, I still haven't ever been on an actual, good date? Twenty-three years old and nobody's ever taken me for a proper night out."
"I'm surprised you stayed with him as long as you did," Draco commented, dropping his spoon into the empty bowl.
"I thought that we were just going through a rough patch and I could just ride it through. But it just kept going downhill. He'd get insanely jealous if I talked to anyone else, and started claiming that I didn't think he was good enough for me anymore. I tried to get him to go for counseling, but that meant admitting that something was wrong, and he refused."
"Our fights got worse and worse. Every now and then we'd throw in a bit of violence to spice it up." Draco narrowed his eyes and Hermione waved it off. "It never came to actual physical blows. We'd just hurl things against the walls, emphasizing our anger. Until one day we were having a particularly nasty row. I can't remember exactly what it was about, but I remember screaming an insult that I knew would hurt him. It took us both by surprise when he raised his fist, about to take a swing."
"He dropped his fist almost as quick as he had raised it, apologizing profusely. But the damage had been done and in that instant we both knew it was irreparable. I filed for divorce the next day and he didn't fight it. It was finalized four months before our third anniversary, and I was in New York before the ink was dried on the parchment. Thought I was running away and leaving it all behind. Ended up with just running headfirst into a whole new set of demons."
"You can't run away from your demons," Draco said, matter of factly.
"No, you can not," Hermione agreed. She summoned the tray of cupcakes to the table. Picking up a dessert, she looked around the kitchen and tears sprung to her eyes, for the first time that evening. "I should have this," she whispered, her voice strained.
"What? You and Potter?" Draco asked, looking at her skeptically.
"No, not Harry," Hermione spluttered. "Just this," she repeated gesturing around the room. "A house, a husband. A kid, maybe another on the way." She let her hand trail across her abdomen. "But yet here I am- a divorcee, with PTSD and intimacy issues. Living in a glorified closet, with her cat." She polished off half her cupcake in one bite, before adding, "And in need of a good shag."
Draco started choking on his cupcake and Hermione summoned two beers from the fridge. She uncapped one and slid it across the table.
"Sorry, that last fact was a bit too much," she apologized, taking a pull of her own beer.
"Can't fault honesty," Draco wheezed. He swiped his sleeve across his mouth, blowing out a breath. "Did you ever stop to think not about what you've lost, but about what you gained by getting rid of that baggage? I mean, you don't actually wish you were still married to him, do you?"
"No, I don't," Hermione croaked. "I know he and I are better off apart. But as you said, you can't run away from your demons. Apparently, you can also only restrain them in the corner for so long."
Draco sat quietly for a few minutes, his eyes staring at nothing in particular as he finished his beer and summoned another. Eventually, his eyes refocused on Hermione.
"Look, Granger. I don't know what sort of baggage you're carrying around with you. But I do know something about having a shitty past haunting you," Draco sympathized. "After the war, my sentence included two years assisting the Aurors in rounding up the rest of the Death Eaters. It was one of the hardest things I had to do. With each trial, I was forced to relive my past and see the consequences of those choices. It was fucking hell and each night I wished like mad that it would stop."
"I came to find, that you either face your demons, or you fear them," Draco asserted, taking a second cupcake, and handing one to Hermione. "You can dance with the devil, or be a slave to him. I've done both, and I prefer dancing."
Hermione took a bite and contemplated his statement. He made it sound so matter of fact, like she was supposed to be choosing between chocolate or vanilla ice cream.
"It's just that simple? Black and white?" Hermione countered.
"Merlin's sake, Granger. I never said it would be simple. I'm just saying that those are your choices. Facing your demons is going to be hard and it's going to hurt. But living in fear of them, for the rest of your life, is going to hurt a lot more."
Draco fell silent as he finished his cupcake and downed the last of his beer. Hermione slowly finished hers, studying the lines on his face and wondering just what he's gone through the last five years.
"Now," Draco drawled, leaning across the table. "About that shag you were talking about…"
"Nice try," Hermione laughed. "How about I make up the second guest bedroom for you so you don't drunkenly splinch yourself?"
"Can't blame a bloke for trying."
Hermione stood up and looked longingly at the cupcakes. "Will you judge me if I take a third?"
"Would it make you feel less guilty if I had another?"
Hermione grinned as Draco grabbed a cupcake and handed her another.
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Draco followed Hermione to the second guest bedroom. The cottage had four bedrooms total, with Harry using the last room as his office. Not that he actually got to work from home often. Draco couldn't remember the last time he went into the Ministry and Potter wasn't already there. Whether from coming in early, or never having left the evening before. He had been happy to give his friend a night to let go and have fun. Though, he did not envy the hangover Harry would be waking up to in a few hours.
Hermione helped throw a fresh set of sheets and clean quilt onto the bed.
"Thanks," Draco said, stripping off his shirt and starting to undo his trousers.
"You could at least wait until I'm out the door," Hermione squeaked, holding her hand up to shield her eyes.
"Where's the fun in that?"
"Goodnight, Malfoy," she called, closing the door.
Draco smirked and shucked off his trousers. 'She wants me,' he thought gleefully, climbing into bed.
Happily buzzed, Draco easily fell asleep, only to be woken a few short hours later by blood curdling screams. Snatching up his wand, Draco bolted down the hall, flinging open Hermione's door.
He was expecting to find an intruder, hexing the life out of her. Instead, Hermione was flailing about, alone, in the bed. She was obviously in the middle of a nightmare that she hadn't completely woke up from. Draco crawled across the bed, trying to avoid harsh contact with flying hands and feet.
"Granger, it's okay," Draco whispered, trying to gently wake her. He watched, helplessly, as Hermione continued thrashing.
"No, no, don't take her!" Hermione shrieked.
"No one is taking anyone." Draco hesitantly placed a hand on her shoulder. Hermione's body relaxed and her limbs went still.
"Gone," she sobbed, still not fully conscious.
"It's alright. It's just a dream." Draco gave her shoulder a gentle rub, and started to pull away.
Hermione's tear stained face turned to look at him. "Please, don't leave me," she begged, softly, and clutching his left arm.
Draco paused for a moment, not knowing how to answer her request. Finding her red rimmed eyes filled with fear and longing, he found himself nodding and lying down next to her. Hermione rested her head back on her pillow and relaxed her grip on his arm, though not totally letting go.
"I'm not going anywhere, Granger," Draco whispered. He drifted back off to sleep, studying the anxious lines that tormented Hermione's face.
The following morning, Draco awoke holding onto to something warm and smooth, with delicate fingertips running through his chest hair. He slowly opened one eye to see Hermione cuddled up against him, still sleeping, with one of her hands running over his chest. Enjoying the light touch, he closed his eyes and relaxed, not wanting to interrupt what looked liked much needed slumber. In the bright sun, Draco could clearly see purple shadows under her eyes and wondered how long it had been since she'd had a proper rest.
Within the hour, Hermione started to stir. Nuzzling her cheek against Draco's side, her hand slid from his chest to his shoulder. Realizing that the handsy witch wasn't the only thing stirring in the bed, Draco thought it only fair to give her a warning.
"Careful Granger," he mumbled. "If you wake the beast, be prepared to tame it."
Draco felt her body stiffen and she jerked her arm from his chest.
"What the hell are you doing in my bed?!" Hermione shrieked, bolting upright.
"Well, I thought I was enjoying the company of a pretty witch."
Hermione looked down and appeared momentarily relieved at the presence of her pajamas. Her head shot back up, glaring at Draco.
"How dare you sneak in here and try to take advantage! What were you thinking?!"
Draco scowled and stood up. Her Jekyll and Hyde mood swings were starting to wear on him. One minute she's sweet and flirty. The next she's ready to claw his eyeballs out.
"I wasn't bloody trying to take advantage of anything!" Draco snapped. "I was perfectly happy in my own bed, until you started screaming your bleedin' head off at two in the morning! With Potter dead to the world, I figured I'd at least make sure you weren't being murdered." He clenched his fists, wanting to hit something in the worst way. Draco scowled at Hermione and cursed her for making him sympathize with her ex-husband. "You're the one that was having nightmares and pleaded with me not to leave."
Hermione met his scowl with her own, her mouth set in a thin, hard line.
"You don't remember, do you?"
"Out!" Hermione yelled, charging at him. Draco didn't move an inch, and let her get in his face. "Get the fuck out!"
Draco's lip twitched. "Guess this is what I should expect from showing compassion." He grabbed the doorknob and whipped the door open.
Draco moved to leave, but stopped as Harry shuffled down the hall. Slowly blinking, Harry's green eyes moved from Draco, to Hermione, and back again.
"I'm too hungover for whatever the hell this is," Harry grumbled, moving on towards the stairs.
Draco was suddenly shoved aside as Hermione exited the room and followed after Harry. Draco growled and stomped off to get his clothes.
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Who did he think he was kidding? Why would she ask Malfoy to stay with her? She had actually finally gotten a good night's sleep and he had to go and ruin what should have been a good start to the morning.
Hermione reached the kitchen and found Harry rummaging in a cabinet, wincing and groaning.
"Sit down," she gently suggested, turning Harry towards the table. He obeyed and sank into a chair. "What would you like?"
"Just some aspirin," he moaned, letting his head thud against the table. "Ow…a whole bottle should do the trick."
Hermione filled a glass with water and pressed two aspirin into Harry's hand. "Coffee or tea?"
"Coffee would be amazing," Harry sighed. He tossed the aspirin back his throat and gulped down the glass of water.
Hermione set a pot of coffee percolating and started some bacon sizzling.
"I promised Ginny I would make her waffles. Do you want anything to eat?"
"Oooh, Merlin no!" Sudden stomping from the second floor drew their attention upwards. "Everything okay between you and Draco?"
"Apparently there was a communication breakdown." Hermione pulled mugs from the cabinet and went to set them on the counter. One slipped from her fingers and shattered on the floor. A broken stream of memories flashed through her mind.
Harry cringed and slowly turned around.
"Sorry, Harry." Hermione muttered, "Reparo," and she sent the mended mug back to the counter.
Shit, she did have a nightmare last night. Draco must have gotten to her before she could wake herself up. Lord, she must have been a pretty pathetic sight for him to have stayed with her the entire night.
Footsteps started descending down the steps just as the floo sounded. Ginny and Draco entered the kitchen together, smiling at Harry's lifeless form, hunched over the tabletop.
"What'd you do to him last night?" Ginny asked.
Hermione peeked at Draco, from the corner of her eye, as she poured batter into the waffle iron. She heard Harry mumble something incoherent. Ginny scrunched her face in confusion, looking at Draco.
"We journeyed through a myriad of welcoming pubs, before ending our evening with some lovely ladies at a muggle strip club," Draco recounted.
Ginny cracked up laughing, and walked over to Harry's side.
"How are you feeling darling?" She asked, rubbing his neck. Harry moaned an agonizing reply. "Good, you deserve your pain," she laughed, lightly smacking his shoulder.
Hermione giggled and set a mug of black coffee in front of Harry. She poured out two more cups, offering one to Draco. Without looking at her, he accepted. She couldn't blame him of course. Her recent behavior hadn't exactly been civilized.
Hermione took out the finished waffles and started cooking another batch. She set the waffles and bacon on the table, on the side furthest from Harry. Ginny's face had soften and she was running her hands through his hair.
"I actually have some big news," Ginny broached.
"What's that sweetheart?" Harry groaned.
"I handed in my resignation with the Harpies."
They all turned to Ginny in astonishment. She adored playing Chaser. Why would she suddenly up and quit?
Harry looked at her skeptically and said, "You know I support you in whatever you want to do Gin, but what made you quit? You've never mentioned anything about leaving the team."
Ginny smiled and explained, "I still love the game, and the team. It's just…it's not really safe to play when you're pregnant, is it?"
Hermione gasped and her wide eyes met the surprised face of Draco. They both quickly looked at Ginny, who was patiently waiting for a response from Harry.
"Yeah, I guess you don't really want to be dodging bludgers when you're…." Harry trailed off, as the puzzle pieces seemed to click into place. "You're pregnant?!" he cried, jumping up. Hermione could see the sudden movement hurt his head, but he pushed it aside.
"You mean, there's a little person in there?" Harry exclaimed, placing his hand on Ginny's stomach. Ginny grinned and nodded vigorously. "I'm going to be a dad?" Ginny kept nodding. "I'm going to be a dad!" Harry whooped, looking at Hermione and Draco.
Hermione covered her mouth, tears streaming down her face. She forced a smile onto her face before dropping her hands. It was achingly beautiful to see her friends so happy and excited.
Draco thumped Harry on the back, calling, "Congrats mate! A wedding and a baby on the way."
"The wedding," Harry muttered. "You can't be pregnant! We're not married!"
"Mother nature doesn't really care about those details," Ginny remarked.
"But your mother is going to kill me! Her only, unwed daughter is with child!"
"Oh, for Merlin's sake," Ginny exclaimed, slapping Harry's arm. "No one talks that way anymore. Besides, this news goes no further than this kitchen." Ginny turned and pointed a scolding finger at Hermione and Draco. "We'll tell everyone after the wedding. That's our day. There will be plenty of other days for people to gush over the baby."
"The baby," Harry breathed, beaming down at Ginny. "We're going to have a baby." He pulled her close and kissed her hard.
"Now, now," Draco interrupted, snatching a piece of bacon. "That's what got you here in the first place."
"Sod off, Malfoy," Harry murmured.
"Seriously though, not a word," Ginny warned. "Not even to Ron." Hermione chuckled. She knew that would be tough on Harry. He told Ron everything. Ginny turned to Hermione with inquiring eyes. "You'll be godmother, right?"
Fresh tears glazed Hermione's eyes. "Me? Really?"
"Of course, who else would we choose?" Ginny cried, pulling Hermione into a hug.
"Don't I get a say?" Harry joked.
"Where did you go for your stag night again?" Ginny asked, raising her eyebrows.
Harry pursed his lips. "How long are you going to use that one against me?"
"At least eight more months."
"I'm so excited for you two," Hermione sighed, hugging her best friend tight. "I promise not to screw your kid up, too much."
"Congratulations Ginny," Draco said, walking over to give her a hug. "I have to go. I'll see you guys tomorrow night." Draco gave Harry one last pat on the shoulder and grabbed a waffle. "Granger," he called, not bothering to look at Hermione as he walked away.
"Everything okay between you two?" Harry asked Hermione, for a second time.
"I don't know," Hermione admitted. "I wasn't very kind to him earlier and he called me out on my bullshit"
Hermione bit her bottom lip. She was making a right mess of things within the first week.