27
We sat together at the dinner table and ate. Thomas was silent as usual, and this time so was I. Charlie and Luda were talking and I wasn't really listening. I was filled with too many thoughts. The fact I got to see my brother after all these months and then he was gone already made me feel empty almost. He got to go back into the real world while I stay here in this town forever.
I know it was of my own free will, but it still made me feel sadness that he was already gone. But who was I kidding? I've killed people. I am trapped in this world with everyone else and that's how it has to be. I just had to hope Anton never came back. Life here was one big circle. We got up and cleaned and cooked and killed and then we cleaned and cooked some more. I'm still young, and I am expected to die here?
I looked up to see Thomas staring at me with a tilt of his head and I could tell he was looking at me curiously as if asking 'what's wrong?' I merely smiled at him and shook my head and kept eating. No one seemed to notice my silence and for that I was happy.
A storm had crept its way over the land and rain pelted the roof. I was merely lying in bed enjoying the sounds of the rain. Maybe it would get really cold and it will snow. I felt I could think some more about my future here. I wondered if Thomas thought of our future. Did he want to marry me? Did he want kids? Is he still under Charlie's influence enough that he could turn him against me? There was a firm knock on the door and I knew who it was already. I sat up and moved over to the door to see it was indeed Thomas staring down at me. He was in his usual sleeping attire of a large shirt and pants. His hair covered most of his face, but I saw his eyes through them. He looked calm, but still unreadable. I moved out of the way so he could enter.
He closed the door behind me and I looked him over with mild concern.
"What's wrong?" I asked. He just stared at me and looked down as if nervous.
"Do you… want…" he paused some his hands gripping the bottom of his shirt and I tilted my head.
"What?" I asked.
"Do you… want… to leave?" he asked. I was stunned by his sudden question and I shook my head.
"Why would you ask that? I don't want to leave." I said and he placed his hands over mine and raised them up between us, his thumbs gently rubbing over the tops of my palm. He did not answer and I tilted my head. "You think after seeing my brother, that I have changed my mind about staying here." He looked back up at me now as if confirming my words and I sighed gently and shook my head.
"I would…" he said. "If I was… prisoner." I blinked rapidly at his words before shaking my head.
"I will not lie, I will always miss my brother. Thomas he is my brother. But I love you and I want to start a family with you one day. I am not going anywhere." I said and he moved over me some more, our hands still together.
"Promise?" he asked, and I smiled kissing his hands.
"Promise." I said, and in that moment, he raised me from the ground and moved me over to the bed lying me down and moving on top of me. I smiled and slowly lowered his mask and he let me. Our faces were clear to the other and our lips met each other. My hands gently caressed his face moving into his hair and locking together. His hands moved down my body, gently running over my breasts before moving beneath my clothes to run over my stomach. I stopped him however and he looked at me confused. I smiled and shook my head.
"I just want to be in your arms tonight… I am sad that my brother is gone, but being with you will make me feel better." I replied and he looked at me softly and rolled onto his back and pulled me into him wrapping his arms around me. It was like hugging a very large teddy bear. I felt completely safe in his murderous hold. I ran my hand over his chest soothingly and he rubbed my side with the same gentleness I did him. We lied in silence for a moment and I began to think of Thomas' worry for me wanting to leave.
"You know there is nothing bad you could ever do to force me from your side." I whispered inhaling his musk that I had grown accustom to, grown to love. I felt him hold me tighter against him and I curled my head into his shoulder.
"You…never alone." he said in a quiet but gruff tone.
The next morning was cool and cloudy. I was in the barn with Thomas watching Thomas wrap up meat and store them in freezers. His hands were caked with blood both new and dry. The door suddenly opened and Charlie walked only taking a few steps.
"So round two. Ned and his family are coming to see if we can make peace again." he explained. I refrained from rolling my eyes. "And Tati, you're going to like this, some of the travelers we have collected, Mama's saved some of their clothes from them in her room. She wants you to go try some on so you'll have clothes for when it's colder."
I smiled at the kind gesture.
"Lovely. Once the assholes come and go I'll try them on." I said. He gave a mild glare.
"Hey show some respect. They are still family." he scolded. I nodded looking down.
"Sorry." I replied and he nodded.
"Well let me get on. Monte said there's some travelers with a broken-down truck a few miles back. Tommy be ready." he said. Tommy just nodded and the door was closed again. I looked down some and sighed in boredom before moving off the stool and moving over to Thomas standing beside him. He held up a chunk of meat to me and I smiled and took it and lifted it on the hook, but it was too massive and I began to fall back some. I gasped, but Thomas was behind me holding me up. Now he helped me hold up the meat and place it on the meat hook. I smiled my thanks to him and he stroked my cheek getting some blood on it.
"So how do you think today is going to go? You think everyone will be civil?" I questioned and he didn't say anything at first.
"You. Civil?" he asked. I was still for a moment processing his words before hearing the humor in his tone and now I chuckled.
"I know how to be civil." I replied.
"Tommy! Tati! Come on in the house now!" I heard Luda Mae yell. I groaned.
"Here already." I said before letting out a breath of air and moving toward the doors. I waited for Tommy to meet me at the door. As I did, I noticed one of the white meat lockers he had, had a lock on it. I wouldn't have thought too much of it, but the other lockers weren't locked even though they all had meat stored in them. Thomas met me at the door and I erased the thoughts from my mind and I smiled and walked with him from the barn. And of course, the familiar car is parked outside the house. Thomas gave a low growl as if annoyed already by the sight.