Author's Notes

Hi all. Hope you're well. It has been crazy but I am back in a good space where I can update again.

31

I kept the knife hidden away under the mattress of my bed that day in case I had to use it for my last fight.

I had to make it look like the trust between us was not completely gone, even though in my mind it was. I didn't need Charlie thinking about getting rid of me. I needed him to still battle with the thoughts on if I should still be kept alive or not. So sometimes I communicated with him, just ask a question or two to make it seem like I was doing my best to heal from the unforgivable betrayal.

Luda Mae was not letting anything happen to me I had concluded, as long as I seemed to still be someone she can depend on. She was just as happy and old as if Ant was never even here. Thomas… there was nothing else to say to him really. And I knew that alone was driving him mad.

With the decreasing of travelers, Thomas seemed to be more aggressive in his kills whenever there was an opportunity. He'd look right at me sometimes when he did kill someone. His knives left indents in the table when chopping up body parts. I know that he knows that he hurt me. But maybe he was finding it difficult to comprehend the turning of our relationship. And that meant if Charlie decided to get rid of me, Thomas would have no trouble in doing so. Well it was already decided which one had to die first. Charlie is the oldest with the most influence. And I had to make sure Thomas was compromised as well. Luckily, his need for me could help in my advantage. As I was sweeping the kitchen, Luda Mae gasped as she wiped the sink.

"Oh Tati look!" she said with excitement and pointed to the window. I looked up and saw white flakes lazily falling past the glass and I winced unsure of how this would affect my plans for escape. I remember as a young girl, the roads were horrible and iced over quite a lot. But times have changed since then. Maybe it wouldn't be bad… well I'm sure I just jinxed myself with those thoughts. Luda smiled happier than I had ever seen her. She looked at me now with bright eyes as if she were a child.

"Oh it's going to stick I'm sure! Remember when you were a kid, you and your brother would come over and we'd have presents for you! Oh I remember that stuffed horse you brought Thomas." she exclaimed. She can't even say Ant's name. I held it together as I just looked away remembering the stuffed horse I gave him.

"He didn't like it." I said lowly, hiding my bitterness.

"Oh but you're wrong. He loved that thing. No matter how much Charlie teased him, he never parted with it." she said. I looked down for a moment before glancing at her.

"Where is the toy now?" I asked gently. She looked up in thought after placing her hands lazily on the sink.

"Either in his room or down in the basement. But rest assured it's close." she said. I didn't respond for a moment before nodding and continuing to sweep. As the day went on, I could no longer deny my hunger and at dinner time, I ate what was put in front of me. I prayed it wasn't my brother. Yeah it's all fun and games until it's your family chopped up and dead. I was staring at the soup for a moment before glancing up and over to the window. The snow was continuing to fall. I looked over at Thomas who was just slowly eating his soup. His eyes were unreadable, his air just lying over his face and shoulder.

"What's wrong with you boy?" Charlie asked. I just looked down at my bowl and kept eating. There was no answer from Thomas.

"Oh I wish you two would hurry up and be friends again." Luda replied sadly. "You two were meant forever each other, ever since youse was kids!" Friends don't kill friends brothers, I almost said. Charlie watched the entire thing.

"Ah hell Mama, I supposed nothing is going to ever really be the same in this house… ain't that right Tati." he said my name with a hint of humor in it. I just looked at him for a moment.

"I don't know Charlie, if someone killed Luda Mae, someone you loved, what would it take to make you forgive them?" I asked. Charlie's face froze on me and I could see the shift in his eyes. Luda just stared between us with worry before Charlie explosed.

"YOU GOT SOMETHING YOU WANT TO SAY TO ME GIRL!" he spat and I shook my head.

"Fair question don't you think?" I asked and huffed and puffed.

"You owe Mama an apology, right now!" he snapped. Out of the corner of my eyes, I noticed Thomas staring with a slight glare of his own. I knew I had over stepped and needed to reclaim the situation. I inhaled deeply before exhaling heavily.

"You're right… I'm sorry Luda Mae. I didn't mean it. I wouldn't want anything to happen to you." I said softly feeling my fake tears fall. "I'm just so sad and filled with girlish emotions!" That got her. Luda stood up immediately.

"Oh Charlie leave her alone, can't you see she's hurting!" she cried out and ran over to me hugging me to her chest. I cried into her chest wrapping my arms around her. It was a mixture of real and fake emotions, that much was for sure. For now, Luda wasn't abandoning me. Charlie groaned and rolled his eyes.

"Ah hell, women!" he said shaking his head and continuing to eat. Now I had one more to lure in. I offered to wash the dishes feeling it was a good way to have some alone time to think. I needed a vehicle that worked. There was no way I was getting out of here on foot. But any cars brought in were stripped and unusable. Then there was Charlie's truck. Maybe I could use his truck. I stared out it on the side of the barn.

If I did this, then I knew I had to make sure there was no way for them to come after me. I had to make sure the others didn't either. The snow blurred my vision. Already the ground was being covered and I had to prepare for the idea that I would have to wait until it melts. Regardless I was going to get out of here. I returned upstairs and walked to my room and noticed something on the ground. As I neared it, I saw that it was the brown stuffed horse from years ago. I leaned over and picked it up. One of its black marble eyes were missing and it was scuffed up and dirty. I sneered at it for a second before it fell as it was replaced with memories of the past. Thomas acted like he didn't want it. But maybe I read him wrong, being so young.

I shook my head and went inside and placed it on the ground and washed up in the bathroom. I slid on a white long sleeve gown. It wasn't mine. It was some large breasted, blonde girl with huge hair. Thomas brought it to me. It had floral patterns on the top of it. I wouldn't voice that I liked it or nothing. It was cooler tonight now and I felt maybe now was the time to see what was going on in his mind.

I silently left out my room and walked over to Thomas'. I gave the gentlest of knocks before quietly opening the door. Strange, I wasn't nervous or scared. My heart wasn't beating fast at all. It just stayed the same. I just entered into the darkness. Only a small candle was lit on the small night stand by his bed. And there he was, lying on his back, mask off, and hair on the pillow. His face was fully exposed. He was only in dark stripped pajama pants. He had already started to sit up some at the sight of me. I closed the door quietly behind me and slowly approached the end of the bed. Thomas watched curious and shy. He couldn't read me, and I couldn't read him. He was more dangerous than me, and he was tensing as I near him. Once I was a few feet from the bed, I just leaned over and seductively pulled my nightgown off exposing myself to him.

His eyes widened now as he sat up fully watching me.

"Tati…" he breathed and I just kept eye contact with him as I walked around the side of his bed to him. His eyes drank in my form, his erection growing fast. I finally stopped at the side of the bed wondering what he would do. His hand shot out for me and grabbed my hand aggressively, before he suddenly froze. I would have jumped had he not froze already, his grip on me lightning some and transitioning into a light rub as he looked over my body a bit longer before looking up at me. Now I was visibly stunned by the look in his eyes- the look of remorse that painted him. "Sorry… Sorry."

He continued to say these words as he pulled me closer to him. Of course he's sorry. Charlie thought he was sorry and so did all the others in the family. I didn't think that until now. Hold it together. The roughness of his voice as he spoke sent a shiver up my spine and I just let him pull me onto the bed. I swung my leg over his large lap and sat atop of him and just let my fingers run over his cheeks and face. Oh Thomas, I wish you could come with me.

"Don't leave…" he said and I froze now. Did he know my plan? Did he know what I had already decided for myself. He placed a hand on the back of my head and leaned me down and our lips immediately captured the other. His other hand came up and gently caressed my face. This was different.

It was definitely different. I let out a soft moan and started to press my hips against his and he groaned in response. Immediately, our arms wrapped around each other as we held the other close. My mouth opened and his tongue entered to meet mine. His erection seemed even harder against me now and I could feel him rubbing it against my exposed entrance. I whimpered at the feelings that began to immediately shoot inside me. That's right, my body was just as deprived as his was. One of his hands found my breasts and he pinched my hardened nipples causing my stomach muscles to tighten from the sensations.

'You can do this' I told myself. My grinding increased and before much else could happen, Thomas wrapped his arms around my shoulders and flips us over. His weigh almost comes down on me, but he immediately sits up and shuffles in the bed and I realize he's trying to take off his pajama pants. I take this time to shuffle over to the night stand where the candle was. Before I could get close enough to blow out the candle, Thomas reaches out and takes my hand pulling me back.

"No!" he said in a low tone. I stared at him now stunned, eyes raking over his large form until I have made eye contact with his cock. Maybe it was from not having sex with him for so long, but he looked larger. It throbbed a bit. "I want… to see… your face."

I stared at him for a long time seeming speechless now as he began to move down atop of me and we just stared at each other as he opened my legs and moved between them. Don't let him see you sweat. The head of his cock rubs slowly against my entrance and still his deep eyes stared at me never leaving me and sadly I hated that I didn't want him to look away. The tip of him finally reaches my entrance and with one push he stretches me out. We both gasp at the tightness that invades us both. He starts in giving long slow strokes, but they're all controlled and that was good. I wanted him to marvel and feel my tight heat wrapping around him. I wanted him to think everything was okay.

But he can't just keep going slow. Already he picks up and starts to pound into me, panting heavily against me. Moans escape me so easily. My body betrays me and I am devoured by pleasure, but I needed to be to convince him all was well. I gripped his shoulders hard feeling the force of his thrusts and they had my vagina exploding with nonstop pleasure. Now my heart was racing. The bed was creaking heavily into the wall with his heavy thrusts.

My stomach was tightening and vibrating from the many sensations that were devouring me. Thomas' face looked primal now as he stared at me. His right fist comes up and slams into the wall in front of him. I could imagine he's been wanting this for quite some time. His hips keep ramming into me as if he were a machine. It's like he could keep going on and on. My head falls back against his pillow, his scent devouring me from both his flesh and his bed. It was all so intoxicating.

"Fuck!" I cried out feeling all my sweet spots being hit second after second. The room was filled with noises: my moans, his primal grunts, the bed hitting the wall, my louder cries of total bliss. And his eyes don't leave my face at all. It's like he's entranced by me. His face comes down and he captures my lips once more speeding up faster than I ever thought possible. I moan wildly into against his lips from the over whelming pleasure until finally my pent-up orgasm hits me hard. My legs are shaking hard as pleasure racks my soaked entrance. Thomas slowly down gently peppering my face with kisses. I was worn out. I was seeing stars now and panting heavily as he rolled me onto my stomach. I felt his body atop of mine feeling his arms spread my legs now. What was he doing?

That's when the fog cleared enough for me to know he did not cum. I gasped gently feeling his still hardened cock rubbing against my ass and I whimpered out feeling the head pressing against my asshole. We had only tried that once, I never thought he'd ever be thinking of doing anal. I feel his hand reaching under me and I feel four fingers rubbing against my vagina and I bit my lip at how sensitive I was and how soaked I was too. I feel his fingers move to my ass rub at my hole. On instinct it my ass muscles flexed and tightened.

"Thom-aaah!" I moaned out feeling his cock spread me out immediately. I moaned lowly at the feeling of ass and stomach muscles locking up. My ass felt like I was going to shit, but that feeling vanished as Thomas began to pound me into the bed, his chest pressing up and down into me. He was like a jack hammer drilling me into the bed. All the while, his lips were kissing gently and lovingly into my cheek. He grunted and growled in my ear as he bit it on occasion.

"Mmm…love you…" he grunted in my ear, but I could not say it back. And I think he was too caught up in pleasure to notice I didn't say it back. I felt his tongue sliding over my neck gently nipping at it with such passion. My vagina was ringing and my brain was swiss cheese. I moaned out in utter submission feeling his hips slamming into me nonstop. I felt it would never end. Thomas' grip on my hips held me down as he took his pleasure from my bruised asshole. His grunts grew louder and harsher until I finally felt him exploding inside me. I whimpered hard feeling his hot cum pouring into me and already pouring from me. He held my hips to his crotch while he released everything he was filling into me. Finally he collapsed behind me and I felt my ass muscles pushing his cum from me. I panted heavily feeling him pull me into him and curl up around me. His arms held me close and I feel his face nuzzling my hair.

All the while, I'm staring out at the darkness. The snow had stopped and there was no noise outside. Everything was dead outside. Good.