I woke up to find myself confused, with a headache and a terrible urge to go to the bathroom. Besides the fact that I am drinking more water, I feel like I spend more time urinating than sleeping with this pregnancy thing. Everything weighs on my body and my belly crushes me so much that I can't rest. The warnings from my colleagues who are already mothers are not much more encouraging. When am I going to sleep? I just woke up and I want to go to sleep but I can't, because a male voice speaks to me and it sounds very annoying.

But how can you be so irresponsible Tomoko, how can you not be aware of your actions?-

Shhh.- I answered, still with my eyes closed.

Don't shush me. Now sit down, we need to have a serious conversation, you and I.-

I sighed and obeyed him, wondering what terrible sin I committed this time to deserve the punishment that would come for me. He brought me a breakfast tray, which at least smelled good and was generous.

I don't understand, you don't lack anything in this house, and if you need anything you can call me and I will bring it for you…-

He continued talking, but I preferred to pay more attention to my breakfast. I have been locked up in this house for three months dying of boredom. In my past life I used to say I could spend weeks locked up without getting bored, I used to tease myself saying "Only fools get bored" but I SO MISS MY CELL PHONE AND HAVE INTERNET! Three months is not enough time to stop missing technology. Not being allowed to go out doesn't make me feel any better either.

Are you listening to me?-

Yes, yes. I hear you.-

He sounded annoyed, but I ignored him and continued eating. I was so frustrated that, despite the good taste, I couldn't enjoy my food.

After I fainted at school and spent a few days with a very high fever, the doctor advised me to rest until the end of my pregnancy. From that moment on my father suspended me from college so that I could stay at home. I have not heard anything about Reimi or Kira, just when I could identify him! How am I going to save her? I lay awake thinking about that problem and how the protagonist crushed my internal organs.

I yawned.

Did you sleep badly?-

No, Dad... Don't worry about it.-

In spite of everything, I wanted to calm that good man down. I smiled warmly at him as I took his hand. I saw him sigh and smile slightly in response.

Why did you go shopping? Couldn't you wait for me to come and bring it to you? What would have happened if you had an accident in the street?-

I had a... I had a craving.-

He looked at me a little frustrated but stopped arguing. I could read on his face that he couldn't even imagine the symptoms I was going through, so he just stroked my hair.

I talked to Mrs. Nijimura, she said she would come to visit you in the afternoon.-

Wonderful! I hope she brings me the cookies from last time. I feel like I haven't seen her for ages!-

It's been six months now, I have three more to go. I'm certainly never quite alone with that little JoJo kicking me all the time, although I do miss conversing with adults my age terribly. My college friends come to see me when they can and Mrs. Nijimura once a week; but after reading every book in the house, knitting everything I knew, tidying my room over and over again until I found I even got dizzy from standing too long; I was finally going crazy.

I wanted my cell phone, I wanted internet, I wanted to be able to go for a walk... for fuck's sake, I wanted to stop feeling that my body was against me; but above all, I wanted to know about Reimi and how I could save her. She and Josuke barely let me sleep at night, I needed a way to find her and do something for her! Why else would I have come to this world if not to do something?

Hours later Mrs. Nijimura arrived to join me and to my good fortune, she brought the cookies I had been waiting for.

It's so nice to see you eating well, Tomoko-chan.-

Your cookies are the best! Josuke always kicks me happy when I start eating them. It makes me ache all over, but it's worth it.-

Other than that, how have you been?-

Bored, like fools. I feel like a cow cooped up in here, getting fat all over the place, I feel like my muscles are atrophying, I'm going to forget the faces of my classmates in college!-

I enjoyed complaining in conversation with her, and she seemed to enjoy these moments too for all the times I heard her laugh at my comments. Could I ever become as motherly and loving as she was? Not that Tomoko was shown like that, but in her company, I felt inspired to be the best mother I could become.

What you're telling me is that you've been feeling stressed, is that right?-

Can you feel stress from doing nothing all day, lying around, getting fat?-

Tomoko-chan. A pregnancy like yours is a stressful situation, don't minimize what you feel, it's negligent.-

And what can I do but eat and wait for delivery? I can't leave the house, I feel like I'm under house arrest. Dad made a fuss this morning after he found out I wanted to go to the park. I didn't even make it two steps out of the house!-

Oh, boy! How terrible it must be to have a father who is so overprotective and knows you well enough to predict your escapades.-

Isn't it? Very terrible.-

I ended up laughing out loud. I love how she plays along with all my complaints, plus we can share our pregnancies with symptoms and cravings. In these few months, she had become my best friend and someone to look up to. She helped me with the loneliness and anxiety of my condition, she was kind enough to share her time with me despite the many obligations she had.

I understand wanting to get out and see other people. All this stress will only make your symptoms worse, you need an occupational balance. The good thing for you is that one of these problems can be solved at home.-

How?-

I've been thinking about it a lot. Aren't you a student teacher?-

I don't understand what one issue has to do with the other.-

You can do classes at home. Workshops to help solve school homework or art classes for the neighborhood kids.-

In my previous life, I swore I would never do private lessons again, I hate them; however, I recognize that it is the best idea not to die of boredom and try to contact Reimi. I reluctantly admitted it was a good idea, shuffling through the possibilities and how to convince dad to give me permission. She smiled graciously and warmly at me, to pull more cookies closer to me.

Now please tell me how you and little Okuyasu have been.-

I already convinced her to use that name. Before this kind of pregnancy-talk would have repelled me like the plague, I guess they affect you differently when you are the one carrying a new human being in your body and you can't share with someone else how strange the whole process is.

By the next few weeks, I had several small students coming in three times a week to do their homework with my help; as well as learning to cook, sew clothes, knit, and other crafts. It felt good to be able to teach the basic skills that every person who wants to be independent needs and that I never had the time to do in my previous life. I was sick of meeting useless men who couldn't fry an egg or mend their clothes, even if their life depended on it; so it made me happy to see children eagerly learning what I wanted to teach, away from what my job forced me to do.

My breath caught in my throat when I saw Reimi walk in hand in hand with a little Rohan, Josuke obviously responded by kicking me in my kidneys, which fortunately helped me catch my breath to greet them like the responsible adult I am.

Welcome!-

Higashikata-sensei, thank you so much for having us.-

Don't worry! I'm happy to see you.-

Reimi-san told me that we could learn how to draw today, so I told her to bring me along.-

A little boy with a proud look, grandson of the owners of the best hot spring inn in town, spoke to me from the height of my knees, but what an adorable thing to look at me so proudly!

Sure, today we will learn how to draw. Would you like to become an artist? I can see you have a lot of talent in you, I'm waiting to see what you can show the world.-

Me?-

Of course! We are all waiting to see what you can show us.-

The little boy ran out into my yard, looking for a pencil and paper to start drawing. Reimi smiled as she watched him go to talk to the other children his age, who were playing there.

Thank you, sensei. This is the first time I've seen Rohan-chan go out to play with other children. He's always attached to my lap... Sorry! I haven't introduced myself, I'm...-

Don't worry, I know you from school Reimi-chan. Please relax.-

Do you know me?-

You're the most popular girl at the school where I did my teaching practice, plus you're the student who found me fainted and took me to the infirmary. How could I not know my savior?-

Higashikata-sensei.-

Call me Tomoko, I'm not your teacher anymore.-

How could I?-

With my permission. Come on! I talk to so few grown-ups, you'd be doing me a favor.-

The girl laughed relaxed, confessing to me that she came not only to accompany Rohan, but to ask for my help with her homework. I gladly helped her that day and all the others that came in the following weeks. She was a lovely girl, but more than anything, I knew that the moments she was by my side, were moments when I wasn't being chased by Kira and his instinct to kill her. I didn't know when it would happen, but I knew it was a truth that haunted my nights. What could I do to keep her from being killed? When would it happen? Would she believe me if I told her everything I knew?

Before I knew it months passed in my new job as a teacher of the girls and boys on my street, as well as the teacher who was able to help a girl in the prime of her adolescence who was seeking advice from a woman younger than her mother. That is to say that she helped her do her homework and listened patiently to all the stories of the boys who declared their love for her. What a popular girl! In neither of the two lives, I remembered was as popular as she is.

It was so nice to see her often, accompanying me to classes with the children and learning to knit as if it were the last wonder of the world. I enjoyed watching her creations, her anecdotes, her growing up as a normal child. Every day I saw her, the possibility of her leaving my world felt further away.

She and little Rohan were by my side, months later, on June 11, when Josuke decided it was a good day to break my insides and go out into the world.

I had been feeling strange all morning, with contractions and discomfort, but I didn't want to cancel classes, in case they were just false alarms like the previous days. I just ignored the aches and pains and carried on as usual. I guess I was a little pale despite how energetic I felt. Rohan, Reimi and I were drawing and painting Josuke's crib, which left me with a big smile on my face, thinking about the irony of the situation. With each new contraction, I was busy breathing and Rohan was busy drawing over my mistakes since he was full of talent.

I'm going to call an ambulance!-

No! It's not necessary. Contractions are very normal when a woman is close to her due date.-

You are having a lot of pain, that can't be normal.-

Reimi insisted, upset. I could only feel guilty for making a girl like her worry about me; with all the years I've been alive, I'm supposed to be the responsible adult taking care of others. I was distracted by Rohan's laughter.

What's wrong, little one?-

N-nothing.- he said, barely containing his laughter.

Tell me about it.-

Mmm... It's just that sensei…-

Yes?-

It's just that sensei went pee-pee.-

What? Oh...-

I looked at my skirt soaked with what looked like urine. I was upset and embarrassed for a few moments until I realized it was amniotic fluid.

Reimi, honey, could you call the police station and ask for my dad and then bring me a bag that's in my room?-

The girl ran around the house while I stayed with Rohan, trying to make a game out of counting the time between my contractions until my father arrived. I was glad it was just the two of them at home.

My father arrived more nervous than I felt, and after dismissing the children, he took me to the hospital for the most painful hours since I have lived in this body. When the contractions became unbearable I heard myself screaming in every language I knew, begging for anesthesia, cursing Joseph and all the gods that had brought me into this world, and threatening whoever wanted to separate me from my father in my labor.

Miss, you have to push now.-

I screamed without being understood, feeling a pain that threatened to tear my body apart. I felt like I would die and transform into a vengeful ghost that would haunt…

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGG! LAPUTAMADRE!-

Keep it up, I can already see the head. Breathe, breathe.-

I KNOW I HAVE TO BREATHE, I'M NOT GOING TO STOP BREATHING. DAD, WHY IS THIS STUPID WOMAN TELLING ME TO BRE AAAAAAAHHHHH!-

I think at that moment, because of my strong grip, I broke my father's little finger.

One more, come on lady. You are very close to seeing your baby.-

After more anguished and endless minutes where I filled the room with my primordial screams, I was accompanied by the cry of a baby that silenced me completely. Was it real? Was it already born? Where was my baby? Why hadn't they given him to me yet? Was he sick and they didn't want to tell me?

Dad, where is my baby?-

They are cleaning him and measuring him, calm down.- he said removing strands of hair stuck to my sweaty forehead.

No, no... I want to see him now. Tell them to give it to me.-

Congratulations, Miss Higashikata. It's a beautiful, healthy baby boy.-

The nurse tried to hand my baby to my father before me, earning a look of hatred from both of us before handing me the boy who was crying for my warmth. I hugged him, in disbelief, feeling the hormones filling my brain make me fall in love forever with the little human being in my arms.

You are so beautiful, Josuke... You are perfect.- I whispered hugging him and kissing his little face.

I took his little hands and admired them. The little boy calmed down in my arms for a few moments as he listened to me whisper words of love to him and my tears of emotion fell down my cheeks. My father stroked my hair and my son's little face, congratulating me for being a mother now.

Soon, my little protagonist began to cry for the first time, claiming his appetite loudly. I was confused even though I knew what to do in theory. The doctor, who did not hold my words against me, kindly came over to show me what to do.

That's when, alone in the room, I enjoyed, even more, the bond I would have with that little boy for the rest of my life. I felt him drink hard from me until his hunger was satiated, falling asleep on my chest. I kept caressing the star on his shoulder as if it were one more mark of destiny that made me part of this family and this world.