Hi everyone! I'm really proud of this chapter. I wrote most of it between 1 and 3 AM a couple of weeks ago, so it needed some serious editing. That aside, this is one of my better chapters. I want to thank those of you who have been messaging me and leaving reviews. I know I'm always saying how happy it makes me, but I am always so happy to hear from you guys. It makes Tallman happy to hear about the support I'm getting, too. Some of you have been following him since the beginning, and he's glad to hear you guys are still around and involved in the Love,Hinata x ToTM crew. Please enjoy, and if you have a moment, please let me know what you think!

Throwing caution to the wind, Beki ran forward and cried out: "HEY! OVER HERE!"

The monster's gaze turned on her and Beki's resolve faltered. It's beige and veiny body was as big as a proper house now. It glared down at her with intelligent and malevolent eyes. Gaara's limp body was hanging out of its head from the waist up, his arms waving gently with the creature's movement.

"There you are," Its voice was nails on a chalkboard, shrill and angry. "I was wondering when you would come out."

"Let him go!" Beki stared it down, circling around to get closer to the water. It watched her easing into the waves, raised a fist, and tried to smash her. Beki launched herself backwards into the water. The icy embrace of the ocean woke her up and the pressure under the surface helped her awaken the Drowned Maiden's full form. She raised herself up out of the water on a pillar of water. The monster made that awful noise again, but louder.

He's laughing, Beki realized, a chill spreading through her.

"At least you'll make this fun," The monster swung at her again and Beki let the water pressure drop. She fell harmlessly out of range of his swipe while still maintaining her water movement advantage. Beki looked up at the monster's face and saw that Gaara was slowly being absorbed into it. Beki tried not to panic but the situation was looking dire. She cast her Watery Grave ninjutsu and watched as the ghastly arms grasped at the creature. It swung its massive tail and dispersed them.

"What are you?!" Beki cried out.

"I am the glorious One Tail, Shukaku," the tailed beast cried out. "And you're a child playing with powers you can't handle!"

It opened its mouth and a ball of energy began to form, aggregating quickly. Beki felt the tingle of the chakra around her rushing towards it, like pockets of hot air on a cool day. Shukaku shot the ball at her. Beki launched herself as far up in the air as the short warning would allow. She watched as the ball of energy hit the water where she had just been and cut through the ocean like a sword. The water boiled and filled the air with steam. As Beki began to fall back into the gaping maw the ocean was surging in to fill, she considered her options. The Drowned Maiden was mostly defensive and this thing was hell bent on killing her. She needed help. She needed Gaara.

Beki shot ice cold water at the One Tail's face, splattering Gaara in the process.

"WHY WON'T YOU JUST DIE!?" The Shukaku cried out. Beki saw the giant hand reaching for her but was powerless to avoid it. In the air she was gravity's bitch, and in this fight that would cost her dearly. He caught her in midair in a hand as big as Beki was. Immediately Shukaku began to crush her, forcing the air out of her lungs and sending waves of sharp pain through her body. Beki cried out and looked up helplessly at Gaara, praying he would just wake up. She gasped for air and as the world grew dark Beki wondered if it was all just a dream. Would she wake up in Konoha or Getsu? Her hair faded to blonde as the Drowned Maiden gave out and all that was left was Beki being crushed to death by a monster in the middle of nowhere.

…

"Beki!"

Somewhere far away she could hear a familiar voice. Beki couldn't quite place it and she felt no need to seek it out. All she wanted was sleep.

"Beki, please wake up!"

They sounded afraid. Beki hated when people were scared for her. Seiichiro was always frightened something was going to happen and his attitude killed all the fun. Beki reached up and swatted at the person, hoping to connect with their cheek or shoulder for a reassuring pat. Instead the person grabbed ahold of her hand with a vice like grip. Their hands were cold and wet and Beki tried to pull away. They wouldn't let her. Soon her neck was being cradled in their cold wet hand. The chill it sent down her spine was waking her up, so at last she opened her eyes to tell them off.

Beki had been unconscious for some time. Gaara had watched in terror as the light of the rising sun revealed just how ashen she had become. I've killed her, Gaara screamed inside. She's breathing, but any moment now it will stop. She'll be gone and it's all my fault. He had called her name, shook her, kissed her, and worst of all in his desperation, he had slapped her a few times. After what felt like an eternity in hell Beki was opening her eyes.

Gaara exhaled for the first time in over a minute. "Beki, I thought I'd lost you."

Beki gave him a dazed look, as though she recognized him but hadn't made the connection yet. When things did click into place, it was as if a switch had been flipped. Beki's eyes widened in fear. She shoved herself up onto her elbows kicked up sand as she shuffled backwards on the beach. Beki stopped after she had put about a foot of space between them. She winced in pain and gingerly took her left wrist in her right hand.

"You're hurt," Gaara reached out and she gazed at him with fear in her eyes. It's happened. I'm a monster to her now.

"That was the One Tail?" After a moment, Beki cautiously held out her injured arm to him.

"Yes," shame crept into his voice. Gaara hadn't let Shukaku free for nearly four years. For him to lose control now, the first time he was alone with Beki, was devastating. Beki was watching his every moment. Gaara wondered if she could ever bring herself to trust him again. "Beki, I'm sorry. I'm sorry you're hurt and I'm sorry this happened." The look she gave him was complicated. Gaara detected betrayal mixed in with the horror that showed all over her face. Her uncertainty was father demonstrated in that Beki was letting him examine her wrist but with enough tension to telecast to Gaara if he made a wrong move, she would snatch it away instantly. Bile rose in his throat and he felt like crying. Their relationship was over and it had barely begun to take off; a bird that had fallen out of the nest before it learned to fly.

"Your wrist is just deeply bruised," Gaara released her hand, and clenching his own into fists. He forced himself up to his feet and looked off into the ocean. "I'll take you back to Konoha now." He kept his eyes on the ground as he held out an arm for her. What am I doing? He thought. She isn't going to want to touch me.

Beki shoved him hard and the unexpected impact sent Gaara stumbling. He looked up at her in confusion. Once again, his sand hadn't chosen to protect him from Beki and allowed him to experience the full brunt of her force.

"NO!" She cried out like a petulant child. Tears had formed in her eyes and her lip was quivering. "All this happens and you don't even want to talk about it?! You're just going to take me home and pretend like none of this happened?!"

"Beki, I-" Gaara blinked in surprise. "I told you I was a jinchuriki for the One Tail-"

"But you didn't tell me what that means!" Beki stomped her foot. "You didn't tell me that you occasionally turn into a monster the size of a house and try to murder people!"

"What did you think it meant?!" Gaara felt his own voice rising. Beki was so emotional and he was feeling so overwhelmed that it was all coming together, like pressure rising in a volcano. He couldn't help but feed into it. "Did you think having a Tailed Beast sealed inside us gives us amazing powers and people just hate us because they're jealous?!"

"No!" Beki shook her head. "I've tried to figure out as much as I can through what you and Hinata have told me, but this shit is locked up tight, Gaara! Getsu doesn't have a Tailed Beast, and most villages keep that kind of information as secrets of the state!"

"Tell me what I'm supposed to do, Beki," Gaara raised his hands in exasperation. "Tell you every gory detail of how if I lose control of my emotions or if I sleep too long the Shukaku takes over? You're a good person Beki, but I doubt you would have stuck around if I had told you all this."

"I don't care about any of that," Beki stared him down. "I care about you. When I woke up to that monst-sorry, to Shukaku, stumbling around in the night with you hanging out of its head like a damned ragdoll, I was terrified. I thought I was going to lose you and I had no idea how to save you. If you had shared more about this with me, we could have come up with a plan for when this happens."

"This doesn't just happen, Beki," Gaara clenched his fists. "This is the first time in almost four years I've let him take over. The last time was at the chunin exams."

"I'd have to say that's a pretty good run, but this is a part of you Gaara," Beki sighed. "It'll happen again. All I want is for you to let me in and let me help you."

Beki was clearly exhausted. There were dark rings under her eyes that looked worse the higher the sun climbed into the sky. Her hair was a messy tangle, full of sand and seaweed. Her clothes were caked on and she had lost one of her shoes. Despite that, Gaara was struck by just how beautiful she was, and possibly batshit crazy. Anyone in their right mind who had squared off against the One Tail would be running for their life right now.

"Well?!" She screamed at him.

"I-I'm sorry," Gaara found himself humbled by how much she cared for him. "Where would you like me to start?"

Beki held up her arms and opened and closed her hands at him like a child hoping to be picked up. "Hold me, dammit."

"Hold you?" Gaara furrowed his nonexistent brow. "I thought we were fighting?"

Beki stormed over to him and pressed herself to his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist. "I thought I was going to lose you. I was nearly scared me out of my skin. Everything is so confusing right now and I just need to feel safe for a minute. I feel safe here."

Not knowing what else to do, Gaara pulled her into his embrace and rested his chin on top of her head. He had expected her to be upset about the whole transformation but not like this. Spit in his face, insult his mother, call him "monster," yes. Ask him to hold her, no. After a few moments of soothing silence Beki turned her head and spat:

"I need another shower. A real shower, not a sexy one."

"I'll keep my hands to myself," Gaara gave her a small smile and brought her inside.

…

"I think I got it all," Beki ran her fingers through her wet hair. "Oops, missed one." She pulled a hunk of seaweed the length of her forearm out of her mass of blonde hair. "I'm probably going be finding these for a while, I guess."

Beki looked about fifty percent better. Some of the color was coming back into her skin and her hair no longer looked like she was trying out for Medusa in a school play. When she sat down on the bar stool, Gaara noticed too much color was coming into her skin. Bruises were exploding like fireworks on her arms and legs in every shade of the rainbow. Since all her clothes drying in the bathroom, Beki had put on the black shirt he wore yesterday. The short sleeves hung down to her elbows and the hem was long enough to be a scandalously brief nightgown. It was sexy in an endearing sort of way. As amazing as her body was and as thrilling as it was to catch the occasional glimpse of her scarlet lace panties, Gaara was much more attracted to how comfortable she was around him.

This trip had been full of milestones: their first shower together, the first time Beki wore his shirt, and less excitingly, their first fight and his first transformation into the One Tail around her. Their goal had been to grow closer as a couple. Even with the hurdles they had faced, Gaara felt closer to Beki than ever. Mission accomplished, he thought to himself as he set a cup of coffee in front of her. This is cause for celebration.

"I was thinking," Gaara leaned against the counter and watched Beki take her first sip. She winced a little and puckered her lips. Damn. I made it too strong again. "I don't want the rest of this trip to go to waste."

"What do you mean?" Beki was adding equal measures of milk and sugar to her mug, periodically having to sip on the rim to keep it from overfilling. Once it reached the right shade of beige, she took another sip.

"I hate to be the one to point this out but the romantic atmosphere is shot," Gaara folded his arms. "I can recognize when a situation isn't salvageable. We're better off starting over somewhere else."

"Like where?" The toaster popped and Beki jumped ever so subtly. Gaara didn't so much as flinch. Damn, this guy is a stone-cold son of a bitch. Beki thought to herself. Even my dad jumps at the toaster.

"I want to take you to Suna," Gaara held up a hand before she could protest. "You deserve a real meal and a comfortable bed to sleep in after everything that happened last night."

"What happened to flying under the radar, Kazekage sama!?" Beki swatted at him in protest. "What are we going to tell people when you roll up with me riding bitch on your sand cloud? 'Oh, I just found her wandering in the desert and we're work acquaintances so I'm going to take her out for dinner and then she's going to sleep over at my house?!'"

"Beki, just let me handle it," Gaara reached out and put a hand on her head. He had meant it to be comforting but he had accidentally put too much force behind the gesture. His hand came down on her crown with a clap and the two just stared at each other awkwardly. "It's going to come out that we're an item eventually," Gaara sighed and retracted his hand. Beki tried to nip at it and almost caught his pinky in her jaws. "You're in a mood."

"Sorry, fight or flight mode hasn't fully disengaged," Beki swirled the dregs of her coffee in her mug. "I guess you're right. We might as well have a good time if we're going to get busted."

Gaara suppressed a smile. "I would recommend you put on pants. Better yet, change out of my clothes entirely. We don't want to be too obvious."

Beki rolled her eyes. "Really, Gaara? I thought I could wear your leather trench coat into town."

Gaara narrowed his eyes, considering the idea. If she looked so sexy in just his shirt, how would she look in just his coat? An enticing vision hung in his mind and he smiled. "You can wear my coat, but that's it. And only when we're alone."

"Pervert," Beki called over her shoulder as she pulled on her clothes. "The first thing we're doing is getting me a real cup of coffee."

"Don't I at least get points for trying?" Gaara asked as he washed the used mug in the sink.

"We're shinobi, Gaara," Beki scoffed. "We succeed or we die."

…

"I can't see it yet, are we getting close?" Beki was practically dangling off the side of the sand cloud. Gaara couldn't imagine how she could do that for so long without getting sick.

"I'm pretty sure I can catch you if given enough notice," Gaara watched her out of the corner of his eye. "Make sure you yell if you fall off."

"I will, thanks," Beki rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to the desert below. "Hey, isn't that it up ahead?"

"Yes," Gaara heaved a sigh of relief as the walls of Suna came into view.

"Wait," Beki focused hard on the space above the city. "Is that smoke?"

Gaara followed her gaze. Long columns of black smoke floated up into the sky, writhing up into the heavens, their tendrils a telltale of bad news. "My God, what happened?" He had only been gone for two days. A day and a half, really. What could have happened in such a short amount of time? He leaned forward and pulled Beki into the center of the cloud, sending the sand toward town at triple speed. Beki sensed his distress and stayed perfectly still.

"What do you see?" Beki asked as she saw the blur of buildings rush past.

"There's a lot of damage," Gaara leered ahead. "It looks like Suna was attacked."

Beki bit her lip. She knew exactly what he was thinking. He wasn't here to stop it. A few moments later Gaara set the cloud down on the balcony of his office. He didn't even hesitate to help Beki off as he usually did. The cloud dissipated as it touched down and the sand receded into his gourd. Beki had anticipated that kind of a reaction, so she hopped off the cloud behind him. Not knowing what to do in this situation, she stayed outside the office door after he entered. Whatever is going on, its none of my business, Beki thought. She looked out over the village. Hunks of buildings had crumbled into the streets below. Beki could see inside houses, like the cutaway books she used to read as a child would show her the inner workings of ships and machines. It looked like at any moment someone would walk into the room and start watching the TV. It sent a wave of nausea through her when she realized there was a good chance the occupants were dead, dragged to the ground and crushed by the debris of their own homes collapsing.

The whole scene was surreal. Beki had never witnessed carnage and destruction on this scale. She was completely fixated on the sight of it all, her brain desperately trying to process what it was witnessing. Once, when she twelve, she had stumbled across an inn that had been ransacked by bandits. Her father had tried to shield her from the sight of the blood and how the whole place had been torn apart. That had been traumatizing, and this was basically the same situation but on a village-wide scale. Every scream was a life, every destroyed building had been full of people, and every abandoned belonging had been orphaned.

It could have been a few minutes or it could have been an eternity when the door opened behind her. "Come inside," Kankuro's voice was joyless. Beki turned and followed him inside obediently. Gaara was sitting at his desk with his head in his hands, a pile of reports strewn haphazardly across it. Some of the papers had spilled over onto the floor. Beki saw photos and cringed. Casualties.

"The rest of your advisors have been summoned," Beki hadn't even noticed Temari by the door. "They'll be able to brief you on how the rescue efforts are coming along."

Beki wanted to ask what had happened but based on the look Temari shot her when she opened her mouth, Beki knew better than to try.

"You have to go home," Gaara didn't raise his head. "Temari, can you escort her-"

"I don't need an escort," Beki shook her head. "Is…how…" Beki's voice trailed off, unable to find words to suit the situation. "Can I help?"

"No," Gaara sighed. "No, there is nothing you can do. This is all my fault."

"How could you have known the village would be attacked?" Beki asked.

"It doesn't matter, Beki," Gaara lifted his head. His expression could be described as nothing less than distraught. "I wasn't here. People…the people I oversee suffered for it. They died for my selfishness. I wasn't here to protect them."

"Gaara, that isn't true-" Beki started but he held up a hand.

"Could you two give us a moment, please?" Kankuro and Temari both headed for the door without protest. Once the door clicked behind them Gaara turned and looked up at her. "Beki, I can't do this ever again."

Beki sighed. "I understand. From now on, we'll just see each other in town. We'll make it work-"

"I don't mean another vacation," Gaara looked down at his hands helplessly. "I mean, this." He looked her in the eye and she finally caught his drift.

"You're breaking up with me." Beki felt a cold chill creep down her spine.

"We need to take a break, until this whole situation settles," Gaara explained. "I haven't been kage long. I was already working on fixing everything my father ruined and now this. It will take time, but I have plenty of support. Please be patient."

Beki's legs were turning to jelly but she centered herself. She channeled her father's ambassador attitude. I can't ever show weakness to a foreign power, she reminded herself. Even if they're breaking my heart. Gaara sensed her hesitation and felt forced to fill the silence. "If this is the last drawback, I only anticipate it taking a few years to get the village on track."

A few years? Beki thought. She had already spent the last two years waiting to get past sending each other letters and the occasional coffee date. There was no way she could stay in that limbo for another five years. "I can appreciate your situation, but I can't be your benchwarmer for an indefinite amount of time," Beki stared at his desk, avoiding his gaze. "I pray you find success in this situation. In future endeavors, I hope we can work together amicably."

In that moment, a curtain fell between them, separating them despite all the walls they had torn down to reach one another. It had taken years for them to be Beki and Gaara together and now they were right back to Kazekage and Getsu ambassador in training. A few more moments of silence followed as if both parties were hoping the other would reach out and try to mend the divide. Neither spoke, their responsibilities too great to be overcome by their personal happiness.

"These are dangerous times," Gaara said in a measured tone. "I'll have Temari escort you to the border-"

Beki gave a low, respectful bow. "With all due respect, Kazekage-sama, you have limited manpower. I'm a Getsu official and therefore an unlikely interest to the parties behind this. I appreciate the offer but I'm capable of making the journey home myself."

Gaara watched Beki as she rose again to her full height. She was tall for a girl and had strong broad shoulders. He remembered how soft she had been, almost delicate, in his arms just hours before. Now that seemed an eternity ago, a book forever closed to him. Beki would be fine, he decided as he surveyed the girl that he had given his heart to. She deserved better anyway. "At least take some rations," He managed to say at last. His voice was surprisingly steady considering the sinking feeling in his chest. "We can afford that."

"Thank you, Kazekage-sama," Beki gave another low bow and turned on her heel in a practiced fashion. The military-like precision of her movements was supposed to be both a reassurance to Gaara that Beki didn't need him to worry about her and a wall for Beki to hide behind. She had done the formal exit so many times that defaulting to it allowed Beki to go on autopilot. When she opened the door to his office, Kankuro and Temari looked at her expectantly. "He's ready for you now," Beki dipped into another polite bow. "May this all blow over soon."

Kankuro stepped inside without a word but Temari began to follow Beki down the steps. "You don't have to escort me," Beki sighed. "I know the way well enough."

"The Kazekage assigned me as your escort," Temari folded her arms. "I'm not one to defy orders."

"I'm not as valuable as he is," Beki jerked her head in the direction of the office. "He'll need your support."

Temari narrowed her eyes and watched Beki closely, sizing her up. She blames me for all this, Beki thought. She's right. This is my fault, and I'm paying for it dearly. I don't need any more punishment.

"Well, what can I do if you refuse the help?" Temari sighed. "Just make sure you don't get yourself killed on the way back to Konoha. Gaara doesn't need any more guilt on his conscience."

Beki nodded and turned for the exit without another word. The devastation she had been so fascinated with earlier barely registered anymore. She stepped over the debris and sidestepped rescue workers with people on stretchers without any conscious effort. Before too long, she was on her way out the front gates. The guards were busy consulting with others on how to tighten security and barely paid her any mind. It was a three-day trip back to Konoha and Beki had been too distracted to grab the rations Gaara had instructed her to take. She would be fine without water for a day, and Beki was experienced at foraging. Being hungry and thirsty couldn't compare to the agony in her chest. Three years of hard work, of longing, and the few moments of unparalleled joy Beki had experienced with Gaara had evaporated in seconds. It was over and Beki had no one to blame.

When her mother died, the clear culprit had been Orochimaru. When Hideki took Hinata and hurt her, he was the obvious bad guy. Yuu had tried to kill Ren, and Shinichi tried to oppress Beki. It was easy to know how to feel, to make decisions in those situations. This was complicated. Beki still cared for Gaara, knew all sorts of intimate details about him, and she was left holding them like tickets to a cancelled show. Beki couldn't hate him or resent him. She hurt. She wanted to be with him and now understood that could never happen. Rather than think about it anymore Beki turned her mind off. She zoned out and the landscape blurred together as she followed her internal compass home. Beki's feet knew the way well enough to give her poor overtired brain a break.