Chapter 18
The rest of Bella's day passed in a blur after Alice's vision and Edward's terrifying pronouncement about going after Victoria that night.
For the remainder of lunch, the Cullens all talked amongst themselves, rapid-fire and far too quietly for Bella to understand much of what was going on. And no one, including Edward, saw fit to include her in the conversation — which, she got the impression, soon turned into an argument about her.
About what to do with her while they were all out monster-chasing, probably. She thought she picked up on that much. They were trying to figure out who should get stuck babysitting her.
At some point, Edward abruptly stood from the table with a snarl, after arguing with Rosalie. He looked furious.
"I'll be back in a moment," he told Bella formally, still glaring at his sister and only briefly glancing his mate's way so she would know he was speaking to her. "I need to make a call and arrange some backup. Alice, take my place, please."
Bella couldn't even protest his departure before Alice slid into the seat beside her. As she watched his angrily retreating back storming out of the cafeteria, it felt like she was going into shock. She couldn't do this right now — Edward leaving that very night to face danger, when she was still so angry that she barely wanted to speak to him. Not when the idea of him going up against Victoria made her just want to grab hold of him and hang on for dear life.
Conflicted didn't begin to describe how she felt, even when he returned before the end of lunch and slid back gracefully into his place beside her — and kept his hands completely to himself.
If Edward noticed her internal struggle, he didn't let on. He appeared lost in his own thoughts... or his violently destructive fantasies about obliterating Victoria, as was more likely the case.
He remained distracted throughout their remaining class together after lunch, and soon it was time for him to leave Bella in English class. He didn't seem to know exactly how to say goodbye, hesitating at the door. The few days before that, he had kissed her either on the lips or the forehead, maybe on the back of the hand, depending just how closely they were under scrutiny. This time, with the full knowledge of exactly how pissed off she was at him for forbidding her to see Jacob, he looked uncertain what to do.
He ended up keeping his hands to himself, while Bella clutched the strap of her backpack and bit her lip, fighting the tears that threatened to well up in her eyes as she looked up at him. She didn't really know what to say, either.
She'd never been this kind of angry with him before, not quite like this. When there had been distance between them before, it had been fueled by her insecurities and fears. She had wanted him close but hadn't been able to trust he wanted the same, so she'd pushed him away. But this type of pure anger was uncharted territory for them both.
"I'll be right next door," Edward promised softly, after a beat, still watching her intently. "When the bell rings, I'll be here to walk you to gym and drop you off with Emmett, but I won't be in my last-period class while you're with him. I have a few more calls to make, so I'll be in my car. I'll still pick you up afterward and drive you home."
Her admittedly immature mental response vacillated somewhere between the wild extremes of Please don't leave me and Just go to class already, jerkface.
She didn't say either one. She didn't really mean either one, although it made her even angrier that she was heavily leaning toward please don't leave me, if she had to pick one. But she could not just give in on this, let him think he could so casually throw around words like "forbid" and "allow".
He might be from the early 1900s and also a vampire. She was neither...yet. If he ever did manage to talk her into that whole wedding thing, the word "obey" was going to be conspicuously absent from their vows.
So she stared at the center of his forehead, carefully not making eye contact — mostly because she knew she would fold immediately.
"Okay," she replied as she nodded, bobbed one shoulder in what was probably the world's worst imitation of nonchalance. "I guess I'll see you then."
His expression had been very intentionally neutral since right after she stopped speaking to him that morning, but it faltered for just a second, betraying the worry he felt — which immediately pulled her focus, despite her determination not to look directly into his eyes.
"Yes, you will, Bella. I'm not going anywhere."
Damn it, why did he have to be so sweet, so careful to reassure her? It made it ridiculously hard to stay mad at him.
It was even harder to turn her back and walk to her seat, feeling his eyes on her all the way there. She couldn't resist a peek as she turned and sat down. Her stomach felt like it flipped over inside her at the intensity in his gaze. He stood just outside the doorway, until her eyes briefly brushed across his. He was making sure she knew he was still there.
Only then, after their eyes met, did he reluctantly leave and go to class.
True to his word, Edward was waiting for her at the classroom door when the bell rang. Her heart didn't stop thudding in her chest like it was trying to escape until she saw him there, safe and sound.
Nonetheless, he didn't reach for her, and she left a good foot of space between them as he escorted her first to the bathroom to meet his sisters and change into her gym clothes, and then the rest of the way to meet Emmett. Not a word was said between them. He seemed distracted again anyway.
She didn't have the guts to make eye contact or conversation with Alice in the bathroom, either. She already knew whose side Alice was on. Her words of warning played in Bella's mind on repeat — try to keep in mind that every single thing my brother does is only because he loves you and can't bear the thought of losing you. Even the stupid stuff.
Rosalie didn't speak to her either, but there was nothing remotely unusual about that. Being largely ignored by Rosalie was just par for the course.
When she reached Emmett's side, Edward left so quickly that she didn't even realize he was going. She nearly panicked when she turned around and he was already gone.
She must have looked truly lost, because even big, tough Emmet softened when he saw her face. He slung a huge, beefy arm around her shoulders and led her into the gym.
"Don't worry about it. He's got a lot to do in the next hour. He's going a little nuts right now trying to keep you safe when we leave tonight."
It hit her like a lightning bolt. That backup Edward talked about arranging? It wasn't for himself. It was for her.
Emmett couldn't miss her reaction, because she froze in her tracks, staring up at him as all the color left her face. His arm around her gave her a squeeze — to the point she almost couldn't breathe. "Relax. He'll be back before you know it. Wild grizzly bears couldn't keep him away."
It wasn't wild grizzly bears she was worried about. It was vengeful, murderous vampires who could easily be luring her mate into a trap that very night.
It was all she could do not to run straight into Edward's arms when she and Emmett left gym class and he was there, waiting for her, just like he'd said he would be.
Instead, she slowed her steps, avoided eye contact with him while Emmett verified his identity. She walked with her arms crossed over her chest all the way to Edward's car, her body language practically screaming don't touch me.
And he didn't.
But that resolve lasted only until Edward slid into the driver's seat of his Volvo. Those few seconds after he opened and closed her door for her, when he was walking around the car to his side, seemed interminable. Her heart was pounding in her chest.
"When do you leave?" she pled the very moment his door closed behind him, doing an absolutely horrible job of hiding her terror over that prospect.
He looked over at her in surprise, going still. He had apparently expected her silent treatment to continue.
"In just about an hour," he replied softly, searching her eyes. He made no move to start the car, his full attention on her. "It will be just before dawn when we ambush Victoria, but we all need to hunt first. We're going to leave as soon as I get you safely set up at my house...or my parents' house, that is."
Bella squirmed in her seat. She didn't necessarily want to spend the weekend at the Cullen house, especially without Edward. What she wanted was to find her way down to La Push while Edward was gone and set Jacob straight for some of the nonsense he said in that letter — face-to-face, where he couldn't act like a child and hang up on her, as she suspected he might when she called him out for his passive-aggressive bullcrap. She was almost as mad at him as she was at Edward.
Almost. The part of her that wasn't angry at Jacob felt guilty about hurting him the way she clearly had. The truth was that once she had Edward back, she had nearly forgotten all about Jacob the moment he left the Cullen house. And she didn't like what that said about her.
Maybe Charlie was right about her making feel Jacob feel the same way she felt when Edward left. There had been times during those seven months that if she had known where he was, she'd have gladly sent Edward an angry letter lashing out at him for abandoning her, much like the one Jacob left for her.
But it wasn't like she could tell Edward any of that. He didn't need more ammo. He wasn't likely to agree to her going anywhere near La Push anyway, and he would just take both her anger and her guilt as undeniable proof that he was right to keep her away. So she focused her response on the logistics, instead.
"What about Charlie?" she asked curiously. "He's not going to let me go back to your house overnight with you there."
He had an answer, of course.
"Esme and I took care of that, while you were in gym. She called and told him I'm leaving right after school today to spend the weekend camping with my brothers, and that Alice was begging for you to come over for a girl's weekend. He wasn't thrilled about it, when you've only been home a few days, but he did tell you he wanted you to spend more time with friends. And he isn't good at saying no to Alice. We're going to stop by your house right now so you can pack an overnight bag while he's still at work."
She nodded, her fingers twisting together in her lap. "How will it happen? I mean...I mean, where will you be?"
His voice was the softest velvet when he answered, his eyes staring into hers like they were having a much different conversation. She felt both his gaze and his voice all the way to her soul, had to lock her muscles to keep from reaching out for him.
"Just outside Seattle. Alice's vision gave us all we need. It seems Victoria's been getting impatient, wanting to speed up the progress of her army. She decided to risk making a call to one of her leaders in Seattle behind Albert's back — Riley, the one who believes Victoria is his mate. He invited her out to Seattle to see for herself, and she let slip when she's going to get there. Alice saw where she was calling from and an approximate route. We're going to ambush her about fifty miles outside Seattle. She'll be alone."
It was too real all of a sudden, hearing the details. This was really going to happen. Edward was going to face Victoria in less than 24 hours — and anything could happen.
When she didn't say more, just turned to look out the window while she tried to keep from crying, Edward must have assumed she was done speaking to him again. He sighed audibly, then cranked the car and began pulling out of the lot.
"Who's going with you?" she broke the silence a minute or so later, trying to keep the tears out of her eyes and her voice. She didn't look at him, but she could feel him looking back and forth at her as she kept her gaze turned out the window.
"Emmett, Jasper. Maybe Carlisle. We're still debating that. Rosalie refused not to go where Emmett goes, so she's coming with us too." He sounded growly and annoyed about that, and she concluded that was what they'd been arguing about. He'd wanted Rosalie to stay and help protect her. That was probably also why Carlisle's attendance was still a topic of discussion.
She did the math in her head pretty quickly. If Carlisle went with Edward, that only left Esme, Alice...and her.
Dual feelings warred within her: relief that Edward would have plenty of backup, and some honest fear.
The thought of gentle, motherly Esme coming face to face with an evil like Albert...or tiny little Alice...or herself, for that matter...was legitimately horrifying. He absolutely terrified her.
"So it will be just the three of us tonight? Me, your mom, and Alice?" she questioned, turning to look at him. She tried to hide it, because the most important thing was Edward's safety, but her fear must have come through in her voice. Edward looked at her aghast, horrified that she would even think such a thing.
"Of course not. I told you at lunch I was going to arrange for some backup. Our family from Denali is on a chartered jet right now. I spoke with Eleazar a while back, when we first learned of the army, and secured his promise of help if we find ourselves outnumbered. They took it upon themselves to 'vacation' in Anchorage for the past week, in case we needed them quickly.
"When I talked to Carlisle at lunch, he was going to get them on a chartered jet within the hour. It's a three-hour flight. They'll be at Carlisle's by a little after 4, prepared to stand guard over the house while we're gone. Leaving that early will give us plenty of time to hunt first."
Bella forced herself to relax back into her seat, trying to process that. "Denali. That was where you went right after I came to Forks, right?"
He seemed pleased that she was engaging him in conversation, his mood brightening. "Yes, that's right. I told you a little about them before. They're vegetarians, like us. We consider them family, but we maintain separate residences. There are just too many of us to safely blend into one area. You'll be safe with them, Bella, or I wouldn't even consider it. I trust them implicitly."
She swallowed hard. "How many of them are there?" she asked, her voice small.
More importantly, were they all as beautiful as Edward and the Cullens? Including the women?
"Five. One of them, Kate, has a special talent that makes her especially formidable. With one touch, she can flatten even the strongest vampire with something akin to electricity. It's quite an experience. And Alice is nearly unbeatable in a fight as well. Surely you know I would never leave you without adequate protection."
Her heart started hammering in her chest. There would be seven vampires guarding her, including the two most talented aside from Edward. He was stacking the game in her favor, when the chances were high that he was the one in danger.
"And what about you?" she blurted out without conscious decision to do so. "Do you have 'adequate protection'? Couldn't this be a trap?"
Edward looked utterly unconcerned. "Alice's vision was pretty clear. She saw me make the kill. I saw it too."
And his look of anticipation said he'd enjoyed that vision. She nearly gulped.
"It's going to be easy, Bella," he promised gently, sensing her concern. "There's absolutely nothing to worry about."
She had to look away from the soft smile that pulled up the corners of his lips — like he was pleasantly surprised that she was still so worried about him. It tore just a little too much at her heartstrings.
So she just nodded, twisted her fingers together in her lap.
They were within two miles of her house when she couldn't hold it in anymore.
"Please just be careful," she near whispered, losing the battle with herself. Her voice broke, thick with tears. "I may be mad at you right now, but I love you more than anything."
It made her jump when Edward suddenly locked down the brakes, pulling to the side of the road so quickly that her seatbelt tightened its hold, pressing her back into the seat. She gasped in fright, wide eyes darting all around them, expecting some approaching danger. But she quickly realized Edward's full, undivided attention was on her when his hand softly made contact with hers.
"Hey. Look at me a minute." His voice was gentle. The hand that carefully covered her linked fingers in her lap was even more so.
She managed to make herself meet his eyes. And that was the end of her composure. Her eyes squeezed shut again, the tears immediately brimming.
"I'm so mad at you," she blurted out before he got a chance to say more. "I can't look at you right now. But I don't want you to go away, either. I don't want you to be near that...that monster."
"I know," he replied calmly. "I understand what you're feeling right now, believe it or not. I know you don't completely understand my side about Jacob. And I don't enjoy making you unhappy, Bella, no matter how it might appear. Just please try to see this from my perspective."
"Which is?" she challenged, opening her eyes to glare at him, not ready to back down.
His lip turned up at the corner, looking mildly amused, as he always did at her fiercest glares. If he called her an angry kitten at that moment, she might actually get out of his car and walk home on her own. Or try to, so far as he would let her, which likely wasn't very far.
But his head just tilted to the side, his eyes going soft as they roved over her features.
"I love you more than anything too," he declared, echoing her outburst to him. "That's a woefully inadequate description for my side of things, but true nonetheless. And yet despite my devotion to protecting you, there have now been two times in my existence — once with James, and again when I had to listen to Albert take you away — that I believed you were lost to me forever.
"Both of those times, I had no way of knowing if you were alive or dead. For hours, I didn't know if I would ever see you again or if you would ever be able to forgive me, even if by some miracle I found you alive. Those experiences have changed me permanently, and that's not easy to do. I just can't go through anything like that again. I can't take risks with you anymore, Bella, of any kind. And the wolves are a risk to your safety."
"But Edward..." she started, intending to argue her point once again.
"I won't lose you again," he interjected fiercely, his eyes blazing. "I have to know where you are and that you're safe. I need that. Please be patient with me about this, love. Please. The only thing that truly scares me is something happening to you and my not being there to prevent it. I wouldn't survive that again."
Most of her melted. Some small part that was still angry — about all of his unilateral decisions, not just Jacob — wanted to point out that she hadn't known where he was for seven months, compared to his "hours" of searching. Up until Albert took her, at least Edward had the luxury all those months of knowing exactly where she was and that she still wanted him. She hadn't even had that much.
And the only reason she had survived it was Jacob, whom he now wanted to take away from her too.
She knew better than to point any of that out. She'd meant it when she told him she forgave him for leaving, despite not fully agreeing with his reasoning. Throwing it in his face would only hurt him, rather than changing his mind about Jacob. And hurting him wasn't really what she was trying to accomplish.
When his jaw clamped shut and anger filled his expression anyway, without explanation, she wondered for a brief moment if he'd somehow heard her rebellious thoughts. But his eyes had taken on that faraway look that meant he was listening, just not to her.
And whatever he was hearing wasn't good news.
His eyes closed, his shoulders tensing. She thought she heard him mutter one sarcastic word under his breath. "Fantastic." He looked furious.
"What's wrong?" she pled, when she couldn't take it anymore. And at the panic in her voice, Edward snapped out of it.
"Your father is at home," he spoke quietly, refocusing his attention on her. "And he's not very happy right now. We're going to have to change the plan."
Before she could even ask, he had his phone in his hand. The conversation was too quick for her to make out. All she could tell was that he was speaking to Carlisle and then Alice, and that he was murderously angry.
Edward sighed as he hung up, passing a frustrated hand over his face and trying to tamp down his wrath before he turned to look at Bella.
"What's going on?" she begged. She was only just getting used to the original plan, and adaptability wasn't really one of her strengths lately.
"Charlie left work early. He wanted to check out Esme's story, make sure I'm really dropping you off right after school and then leaving, before he let you go with Alice."
She nodded, trying to catch up. "Okay. So we can just let him see you leave, right? And Alice can come pick me up herself? You can wait around the corner and follow us. Or I can get back in your car with you."
Edward was giving her that look — the one that said whatever he had to say was something he dreaded telling her.
"Not exactly. There was a surprise waiting for your father when he got home."
Surprises again. She was starting to hate that word. She swallowed hard, tried to keep a clamp on the automatic panic. "What kind of surprise?"
His jaw muscle was jumping. Though his tone was intentionally soft, he couldn't quite keep the animosity out of it. "Your friend left another note. Only this one was for Charlie, and it was attached to your motorcycle he left on the front porch."
She felt like her heart dropped into her stomach, her eyes going wide. She wasn't sure who she was going to be in more trouble with — her dad or Edward. But Edward winced at the look on her face.
"I already know, Bella," he told her quietly, softening his tone. "You can stop looking at me like that. You told me on the phone when I was in Brazil, although you thought I was Alice at the time. Or rather, you told me all about building motorcycles with him, and you told me about hearing my voice when you were in danger. It wasn't much of a leap from there. And Alice eventually told me everything she knew anyway."
Bella licked her lips nervously. It was still hard to wrap her mind around the fact that it was Edward she'd said all those things to on the phone. She'd so solidly believed it was Alice.
She had said a lot of things about Jacob that night. She'd gone on and on about him and how much better being near him made her feel. Maybe some part of her had wanted it to get back to Edward, for Alice to run and tell him. Maybe some small part of her had hoped he might be jealous and come back for her, if news reached him of all her gushing about Jacob's importance in her life.
If it was jealousy she'd wanted, she'd certainly got her wish. Considering the tension that already existed between them, Edward was obviously being careful not to express an opinion one way or the other, either about the motorcycle or the things she'd told him about Jacob on the phone. But he didn't have to. His clenched jaw said it all for him. So she decided the smartest thing to do was change the subject.
"How mad is Charlie?" she asked.
Edward scoffed bitterly. He wouldn't light into her, but he seemed glad to be able to vent his frustration on another topic.
"Jacob's note painted himself as the responsible friend looking out for your best interest by telling Charlie everything. He also painted you as suicidal, told your father about your recklessness and your motorcycle accident. He claimed to be concerned about you killing yourself if you continue spending time with me and I break your heart again — which I hope you know will never happen. But your father bought into every self-serving word. You're grounded, as I'm sure you could guess. He's not going to let you leave the house now, not even with Alice. He's calling Esme to cancel as we speak."
She could practically feel the frustration radiating off of him in waves, and she felt the same thing herself. While she might not like the idea of Edward going up against Victoria, this ambush was likely the safest way to do it, when Victoria would be alone and in transit. Picking off their enemies one at a time was far safer than facing them all together, surrounded by an army.
But Jacob had put the entire plan in jeopardy with his malicious stunt. And that was not going to go unaddressed by her. Whether Edward liked it or not, there was going to come a time — and soon — that Jacob was going to get an earful from Bella.
"So what do we do now?" she asked tentatively, and Edward sighed. He had that look again, his 'Bella's not going to like this' look.
"I drop you off with your father, and then I leave. Alice and Esme are on their way over now to set up outside, and the Denalis will be landing soon. I'll stay with Esme and Alice until they arrive. They'll all protect you from outside your house without you ever seeing them. And you just spend a very unpleasant evening with Charlie, I'm afraid. I'm sorry, Bella. There's no other way, unless we simply pass up this opportunity to go after Victoria. There might not be a better one."
She bit her lip, tried to control the fresh wave of tears pricking at her eyes. He was right. It was really the only option left. "So we have to say goodbye now," she managed, immediately understanding the implication. "Right here. Charlie probably won't even let you in the door."
Edward's right hand still covered both of hers. He gave them a gentle squeeze, watching her carefully. "Your father has a lengthy discussion planned for you, and he likely won't let you out of his sight until he says his piece. I'll be gone by the time he's finished."
She had expected to be returning to the Cullen house with Edward, to have plenty of time to work up to goodbye. But now Edward was going to be ripped away from her almost immediately.
She wasn't ready. Terror welled up in her, her lip starting to tremble. Her chest ached, in exactly the place that she had felt like there was a hole punched through it when he left her the first time. She flipped her hands over, grasping at Edward's hand above hers and holding on. She must have looked just as terrified as she felt, because Edward inhaled sharply, his grip tightening.
"I'm coming back to you," he vowed fiercely. "This is not me leaving you again, Bella. That is not what this is. Tell me you know that, or I won't be able to go through with it."
Her heart was hammering in her chest. The panic attacks she'd experienced so far paled in comparison to the one threatening to overtake her at the moment.
Edward was leaving.
But she pushed it down, fought her way through it, completely on the basis of Edward's words about not being able to go if she wasn't okay. She heard that a little differently: that he didn't need distraction when he fought Victoria. She had to convince him she was fine.
"I know," she forced herself to say. "I trust you."
It might not have been the full truth, because insecurity and fear were ripping her into shreds. But Edward's eyes went so dark at her declaration of trust that she knew she'd said the right thing. His eyes dropped to her mouth, and he licked his lips hungrily.
"I know you're still furious with me," he qualified. His voice had gone husky, his eyes boring into hers once his gaze traveled back up her face. "So I'll understand if the answer is no. But I really want to kiss you goodbye."
Her only answer was to lean toward him, a whimper breaking free, and that was all it took. He let go of her hands, and she heard the click of her seatbelt releasing, felt his cool hands through her shirt as they closed around her waist. And suddenly she was in his lap in the driver's seat, her back up against his door and her feet pointing toward the seat she just came from. And none of the details about how she got there were important, because all that mattered was his mouth coming down firmly on hers.
He kissed her like he feared he might never see her again, and that scared her — not of him or his kiss, but the emotion behind it. She held on for dear life, her head spinning with the intensity of it all. She kissed him like her life depended on it too.
And maybe it did. She'd already proven she didn't know how to live without him.
Edward abruptly broke the passionate kiss a few short moments later, exhaled a shaky breath. "If I don't put you back in your seat right now, I'll never leave," he rasped. But his lips found hers again, soft and gentle this time. His hands caressed her face as he slowly, sweetly kissed her goodbye.
It was just as overwhelming as the fiery, passionate kiss they'd just shared. Maybe even a little more overwhelming, considering what it meant.
Goodbye.
She felt him lift her and set her back down in her seat, but his lips only left hers for the brief second necessary to turn her. He was leaned all the way forward into the passenger side when she landed, his hands still gripping her waist. One last gentle kiss, followed by a quick but adoring touch of his lips to her forehead to seal his verbal promise — "I love you, Bella. I'm coming back." And he quickly retreated to his side, put the car in drive, and drove her the rest of the way home.
Charlie was waiting for them on the front porch. And he was standing right next to Bella's motorcycle, his hands on his hips and his expression stern.
Edward squeezed Bella's hand, brought it to his lips for a gentle kiss before they both opened their doors and got out.
"Chief Swan," he greeted her father politely, giving him a courteous nod as he put a gentlemanly hand at Bella's back to walk her to the porch.
But Charlie didn't reply. He was busy glaring at Edward like he was the very personification of evil, his thoughts pretty clear on whose fault he believed all of Bella's problems to be, including her recklessness that occurred when she was with Jacob.
It wasn't like Edward fully disagreed. He'd certainly rather be the one to face Charlie's wrath than allow Bella to do so.
But that wasn't to be. Because Charlie's ire quickly turned on his daughter, when they were still only barely steps away from Edward's car.
"You want to explain this to me, young lady?" he yelled across the yard. He didn't have to point at the motorcycle he stood beside. It was pretty clear what he was so pissed about.
But even Edward was surprised by Bella's response, which was completely uncharacteristic, something akin to a cornered animal snapping in fear. His hand was still at the small of her back as he escorted her toward the porch, so he felt her entire body stiffen as she abruptly stopped in her tracks on the walkway, crossed her arms, and lashed out at Charlie.
"Yeah. It means Jacob's an asshole. Anything else you want to know?"
Despite the twitch of amused pride in Edward's lips, it was still the wrong thing to say. The normally laid-back Charlie went completely livid. He leaned across the rail, pointing his finger toward Bella's face as he glared down at them from the porch.
"You will not speak to me that way. You are going to come inside this house right now, and you're not leaving my sight until we discuss this. You are grounded, and he's not allowed in this house until further notice. Do I make myself clear?"
Every protective instinct Edward possessed told him to come to Bella's defense, to get between her and trouble. It wasn't like Charlie would ever even think of hurting her, and his head knew that. But his instincts were quite another story.
To allow any male to chastise and punish his mate went so completely against the grain of Edward's basic makeup that he could barely tolerate it.
And to leave her alone, to deal with it by herself? How could he even consider such a thing, when his monster was screaming at him to push her behind him, bare his teeth, and inform Charlie that he'd better watch his goddamn tone with Edward's mate? His fists clenched at his side, a low growl building in his chest.
It was loud enough for Bella to hear it, due to her close proximity to his side, but likely not Charlie. And he hadn't planned it that way, because he wasn't really doing much thinking at all right then, but it was Bella's need to protect him from doing something stupid that snapped her out of it.
She whirled around to face him, putting herself between them with her back to Charlie. Her hand came to rest in the center of Edward's chest. "Whoa...hey, easy. I'm okay," she said softly, where only he could hear. And at her touch, the audible evidence of his fury subsided somewhat.
"Bella! Inside. Now," Charlie roared, his patience nearly gone.
Edward's growl started building again, his ferocious glare fixed over the top of Bella's head, right on Charlie. Bella's hand on his chest lightly rubbed, soothingly. With her other hand, she reached up and cupped his cheek, tugged at his face until she got him to look down and meet her eyes.
"I'm okay," she reiterated, not even flinching at the black fury he knew she must see there. "I can handle Charlie. I've got this. Go."
How did she always know exactly what to do, exactly how to handle him? Touching him, getting his focus to her, assuring him she was okay — the tension and violence drained out of him like water pouring out of a bucket.
Why can't he just leave and go camping already? That was Charlie. The more agitated he was, the easier his thoughts to read. Wouldn't hurt my feelings if the kid pissed off a mountain lion or two while he's out there. Lot of ways to get lost out in the wilderness...
If Charlie only knew. Edward was definitely going to piss off a mountain lion or two that night, when he wrestled them to the ground with his bare hands like they were nothing. And then he was going to use the strength he got from consuming their blood to hunt down and rip apart a vicious vampire whose list of kills rivaled that of the most prolific serial killer Charlie could dream up — a vicious monster whose sole mission was to kill Charlie's daughter.
He was sorely tempted to tell him all that, maybe throw in the fact that he'd be glad to do the same to anything that upset her. Instead, he gave Bella one last, quick kiss on the lips — while Charlie fumed — and whispered in her ear that he would still be close by until all of her protection was in place.
And then he forced himself to make a polite goodbye to Charlie Swan, get in his car, and drive away — just far enough to park out of sight and run to join Alice and Esme, where they already waited outside Bella's window.
After her initial flash of rebellion when Charlie lit into her outside — at a moment when she just couldn't take anymore, knowing she was moments from watching Edward walk away into danger — Bella adjusted her attitude dramatically when she and Charlie made it inside to the kitchen and she sat down at the table to endure his wrath.
It took him a little while to realize he wasn't getting any argument. He was expecting more of the same from her, and he'd wound himself up pretty good.
He slowed down when he realized she was just sitting and listening, making apologies in the appropriate places. He didn't really seem to know what to do with that. Her assurances that she had never intended to kill herself, with the motorcycle or otherwise, placated him greatly.
At some point, when Charlie seemed to be trying to figure out a new angle from which to belabor the point some more, she stood up and just started making dinner for them both. He gave it up around the time the smell of food started to hit his nose, and he helped her finish up. They sat down to eat dinner in relative peace.
Charlie had kept the conversation going for nearly an hour, surely a new record for him.
An hour. Her stomach did a little flip-flop. There was little chance that Edward was still there. He would be long gone, running farther from her with each passing second.
And five vampires she didn't know would be standing outside with Alice and Esme, listening to her father lecture her — one of whom could electrocute vampires, apparently. It was surreal.
Did they wonder what the hell they were doing there? Did they wonder why the Cullens would put so much time and energy into protecting an insignificant human girl?
Because she certainly wondered it. All the time.
The Denalis must care an awful lot about the Cullens to do this. Was it all of the Cullens, or Edward in particular? She couldn't remember everything Edward had said about them, when he mentioned them early on in their relationship. She had learned so many new things about him and his world, over the course of just a few days, that it all jumbled together in her head at some point. But she was pretty sure she had received the impression that the Denalis were mostly all female. At least some of them were likely unmated females, considering the ratio of males to females.
She didn't eat very much of her dinner after that thought occurred to her, although Charlie's appetite seemed unaffected by their argument. He shoveled enough food into his mouth for both of them.
He helped her wash the dishes. She didn't complain.
When Charlie wandered into the living room after dinner and turned a baseball game on, Bella sat down at the table to start her homework. She just felt less watched in the kitchen than she would in her bedroom, knowing who all was right outside. She would be too tempted to stare out her window, try to get a peek at the Denalis — which likely wouldn't make her feel any better about herself.
Halfway through her first assignment, she had to go looking for a new pen. That was when she noticed it: Jacob's note to Charlie, right on top of the stack of mail Charlie had picked up on his way in.
She didn't hesitate for even a second before she picked it up and read it. Edward's summary, while accurate, had actually downplayed the cruel pettiness of Jacob's words — probably in yet another effort to protect her.
But now she knew everything.
And it felt like her blood started boiling. She was trembling with wrath.
How dare he? How dare Jacob do this? He wanted to hide notes in her bathroom, accusing her of being a bad friend and making her feel guilty? He was worse! He had ratted her out to Charlie, gone out of his way to lie about her and get her in trouble so that Charlie would keep her from Edward.
Jacob knew as well as anyone else how much she needed Edward — probably better than anyone else. And he had clearly hoped to get Charlie to forbid her from seeing him.
She was getting sick — sick — of that word: being forbidden to do things. In her 18 years of life, growing up with Renee, there were very few, if any, times that she could remember that ever happening. She had practically been the parent herself. And now, in less than a 24-hour span, Edward, Charlie, and Jacob had all pulled that forbidding crap with her, be it directly or indirectly.
Enough. She'd had no control over anything since the day Edward left her. If she didn't take control of her own life soon, at least in some small way, she was going to lose her mind.
Maybe she couldn't do anything about Edward battling Victoria that night, aside from slowly going insane worrying about it.
She definitely couldn't do anything about the undoubtedly gorgeous female vampires standing outside her house at that very moment, emphasizing her own plainness and unworthiness for Edward simply by their very existence.
But she could accomplish one thing. She knew exactly how she could get to La Push and tell Jacob Black off.
She made a snap decision. She was going to do it, forbidden or not — and worry about the consequences later.
The house phone started ringing almost the moment her decision was made. She picked it up and set it off the hook, yelled to Charlie that it was just a wrong number.
It was all she could do not to throw it across the room.
After taking a few minutes to get her plan straight in her mind — hoping that she was correct in her theory that neither Alice nor Esme would dare intervene in front of Charlie — she made her way into the living room and sat down next to her dad on the couch.
He looked over at her in surprise, his eyebrow going up. He wasn't stupid. Bella had never willingly watched baseball in her entire life. He knew she wanted something. So she might as well come straight to the point.
"Do you think Billy's watching the game too?" she asked, and watched Charlie's eyes narrow.
"Most likely. Why?" If suspicion had a face, it would look like Charlie at that moment.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained. She took a deep breath and launched into her plan, starting to doubt that whole 'non-interference in front of the humans' theory. What if Edward hadn't left yet after all? She wasn't naive enough to believe that there wouldn't be a very, very ugly scene about two seconds after her next sentence if he was still there.
"I know I'm grounded. But I was thinking...I guess I really owe Jacob an apology too, and I don't think it's fair to do it over the phone."
Charlie still had that suspicious look. "Your point being? You know you're grounded, Bella. If you think I'm letting you leave this house, when we both know you'd just go straight to him..."
"Even if we go together?" she cut in. She said it a little too fast, a little too nervous. Charlie's eyebrow edged even higher.
"You want me to drive you to La Push. Right now. And watch the game with Billy, while you apologize to Jake, who two hours ago you were calling an asshole." He sounded completely incredulous, but his face said he might actually consider it. Time to go in for the kill.
"Yeah, you're probably right," she admitted glumly, dropping her gaze and hoping she was a better actress than she thought. "I doubt he wants to see me anyway. I shouldn't have brought it up." She stood up, putting on her best dejected look. "Night, Dad. I'm going to turn in early."
She made it three slow steps, her heart pounding. If she actually had to go upstairs to her room out of Charlie's sight, where there would no doubt be a very pissed-off Alice waiting to harangue her about her escape attempt, it wasn't going to be pleasant.
"Bells!"
She turned around so fast she nearly tripped. Stealth just wasn't likely to ever be her thing.
"Yeah?" She looked way too hopeful. She was aware of that.
Charlie studied her for a second, then sighed. "Go upstairs and get your coat. It's cold out tonight."
Her heart jumped in her chest. She glanced over her shoulder, up the stairs. Leaving Charlie's sight and going into her room would be a mistake. There would be at least one Cullen all over her like Jessica Stanley on hot gossip.
"Oh...um, I'll be fine. I don't need it. Let's just go, okay?" This was a sneak attack. If the Cullens had time to regroup, they'd figure out a way to stop her, Charlie or no Charlie. Time was of the essence.
But Charlie hadn't missed that look she cast upstairs, and he also hadn't missed that she was trying to rush him out the door. His eyes glanced up the stairs and then back to Bella, suspicion blooming afresh on his weathered features. He muted the television and stood, his fingers twitching close to where his gun belt would be when he was on duty. He was watching her intently, but also watching the stairs behind her.
"Isabella Marie Swan, what's going on? Tell me the truth. Are you afraid of something?" His voice was deadly serious.
Standing there with her mouth open while she tried to think of a response was definitely not the correct reply. It sent Charlie into police mode. He had the living room gun-safe open and one of his many guns in his hand within seconds, already walking purposely toward the stairs.
"Who's up there?" he demanded quietly, stopping beside his daughter. "Is it him? Is that why you want to leave? What are you afraid of, Bells?" Fury crossed his face, his tone dropping to a near-whisper. "Has that boy been hurting you? I knew...I knew something was wrong lately. If he hurt you..."
That was enough to shake her tongue loose. "No! Dad! I swear, nobody's up there!"
Charlie just started up the stairs. She wasn't going to make it to La Push if Alice got hold of her out of Charlie's sight, so Bella started up the stairs right behind him, determined to stay close enough not to be caught alone.
He headed straight for her room, looked behind the doors and inside the closet, anger showing on his face. He checked the bathroom, his own room, and then checked Bella's room again — all with her right on his heels.
"I told you. There's nobody here," she said weakly, watching as a still keyed-up Charlie crossed to her window, peering out it and then flicking the lock shut. He turned back around, eyes still roving the room.
Charlie finally sighed, the hand that wasn't holding a gun coming up to pass wearily over his face. "I must be losing it. I could have sworn..." he trailed off. The suspicion still hadn't fully faded from his eyes. He sighed heavily yet again, looking embarrassed. "You still want to go to La Push?"
"Yeah. Definitely." But she also couldn't put Charlie in danger. She had a plan for that too. "Can I borrow your phone to call Jake? Let him know we're coming? I'll just call him on the way."
Charlie looked around the room one last time, his brow still furrowed. "Yeah, whatever you want," he answered distractedly. He fished it out of his pocket, put it in her hand.
Jake picked up on the second ring, while she grabbed her coat and trailed Charlie back down the stairs and out to his cruiser, expecting the Cullens and/or the Denalis to pop out at any moment. She knew all the vampires in the woods would hear this conversation, including Alice. But that was all part of the plan she'd hastily formulated in the kitchen, a plan to make sure that both she and Charlie stayed safe while she made her jailbreak.
"Hello?"
"Jake, it's me. My dad and I are coming to see you and Billy. Can you guys, um...can you meet us? You know...outside? We'll be to the La Push line in just a little while. Just me and my dad. We're leaving now."
She'd worried he might not understand what she was asking, but she also couldn't risk leaving Charlie's side so she could be more direct. But she'd worried for nothing. She knew Jacob had caught her meaning the moment he started speaking. She'd never heard the all-business side of Jacob before — the wolfpack side. It was different. She wasn't sure she liked it.
"Understood. What about your side of the boundary? You have protection that far?"
She bit her lip, tried to suppress the shudder at the thought of vampires she'd never met running alongside her dad's cruiser with Esme and Alice — neither of whom were probably too happy with her at the moment.
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure."
"We'll be waiting." Jacob was obviously just as pissed off at her as she was at him. He hung up on her, but she knew he'd be waiting with some of the other wolves to be sure she and Charlie were safe once they crossed the line.
She also knew that the Cullens now knew that too, so they would have no reason to worry — or do anything crazy, like call Edward.
It was foolproof...she hoped.
It was well after midnight before she and an exhausted Charlie trudged their weary way back into their house.
Charlie had finished watching the game with Billy. And then the two of them had found another one on cable. They'd cracked open a few beers. Then they'd cracked open a few more. Charlie hadn't wanted to drive home until he was sure he was below the legal limit. She'd have offered to drive, but even if he would have let her drive the cruiser, she wasn't really sure she wanted to go home yet.
Alice was not going to be happy, and that locked window probably wasn't going to keep her out.
All those hours in La Push had given Bella plenty of time to hash things out with Jacob, at least. Maybe too much time.
She eventually folded and ended up forgiving him, pretty much like they both knew she would.
She also ended up promising to find a way back out to La Push to see him again soon, a promise Jacob said he would hold her to.
His hug when she left was too tight, a little too proprietary, and she felt that twinge of guilt again — guilt about both Jacob and Edward. Edward was definitely right about Jacob's feelings for her. Once they were finished yelling at each other, it was clear how much Jake had missed her.
He missed her a little too much. He stared at her just a little too intently.
It wasn't just some little crush, she had to acknowledge now. Jacob was in love with her. There was no denying it, especially now that Edward had pointed it out — and he would definitely be in a position to know, given that he could read Jacob's every thought.
And while she had made it very clear, once again, that her only feelings were for Edward, she knew Jake still held out hope.
And she promised to go back anyway. She felt guilty about that. But she wasn't ready to give up the lifeline she'd held onto for months — not when some traumatized part of her still struggled with wondering if maybe Jacob was right, that it was only a matter of time before Edward broke her heart again.
After a yawning Charlie staggered off to bed approximately two seconds after they walked in the door, Bella took her time in the bathroom getting ready for bed. Thank God it was a Friday and she didn't have to go to school the next morning. She'd never make it.
When she couldn't put it off anymore, she took a deep breath and walked into her room, turning to face the door as she softly closed it behind her.
"Alice, I know what you're going to say," she told the door, leaning her forehead against it. She was exhausted, physically and mentally.
But it wasn't Alice's voice that answered. It was a velvet voice she knew all too well — and it was beyond livid. Dangerously quiet and controlled.
"What were you thinking? That's all I want to know."
She whirled around, eyes wide.
"Edward! What are you doing here?"
Looking furious. That's what he was doing, and she couldn't even see his face yet. Her breath caught at the way he looked, standing by her window, his back to her. He had his left hand shoved in his pocket, his right hand tensely resting on the window-frame at chest height as he leaned forward into it, staring out at the darkness. The muscles in his back rippled with tension.
He hadn't even looked at her yet, and her heart was already off to the races.
"What do you think I'm doing here, Isabella?"
Was it completely wrong that that quiet, utterly enraged but too-calm tone of voice sent a jolt straight through her body, one that started and ended right between her legs? God, she had never seen him like this. It should probably scare the bejesus out of her.
It didn't.
Geez, the way he said her name...
"I don't know. Overreacting?" she fired back in response to his question, probably unwisely. She couldn't help it. The more this entire situation spun out of her control, her control over her own tongue spun out right along with it. She'd done the same thing to Charlie earlier, outside, when he asked about the motorcycle. She still didn't know where the hell that outburst had come from either.
Lashing out was just her only defense mechanism these days, apparently. And that really wasn't fair.
Edward got super speed and mindreading. Alice got psychic abilities. The probably gorgeous Kate Denali got electroconductivity or whatever.
All that poor, fragile little Bella Swan got to defend herself was bitchiness. Good to know.
That said, it would probably be a really good time to rein that dubious talent in a little, judging by the set of Edward's jaw and his silence.
She crossed the room, stood just to his side, practically right on top of him. She stopped short of reaching out to touch the coiled tension that was his entire body. Her sharp retort had only made it worse. She could see his full profile, now that she stood closer to him, despite the low light. His eyes slowly closed, his breaths becoming more shallow, like he was struggling for control now that she was within reach. His jaw clenched.
"Why did you come back?" she changed course, her voice soft. "You're supposed to be hunting right now. What about Victoria?"
He spun on her, finally looking at her, but he kept his hands to himself. The hand that had been on the window frame dropped to his side. It didn't clench into a fist, but her eye was caught by his fingers, continually flexing and relaxing. His eyes glittered darkly — like pitch-black dark. He hadn't had time for any hunting at all before he came back.
"Hunting will have to wait, at least for me," he confirmed that theory. "I came back alone, when Alice finally decided to let me know you'd been gone two hours and she couldn't see your future. I'll be leaving again to take care of Victoria just as soon as I deal with you, so there's little time. Pack a bag if you want one. It doesn't matter to me either way. We're leaving in two minutes."
Her lips parted. She barely suppressed the shudder. Was he kidnapping her again?
"Leaving and going where?" She somehow managed to sound indignant.
His eyes flashed dangerously. "The cottage. My parents' house isn't an option anymore. Charlie knows where they live, and that's the first place he's going to look when he wakes up in the morning and you aren't here."
Her mouth was so dry it felt like she'd been chewing on cotton balls. She could argue the finer points of this later. There wasn't going to be any dissuading Edward until he cooled down. This was going to happen, and the best she could hope for was damage control.
"I can leave him a note," she offered with far less sass, since she was willing to accept that at least some of this might be her own fault for being impulsive and deceptive. "Maybe let him know I'm okay so he doesn't cause trouble for your family."
Edward averted his gaze, shrugged a shoulder. "If you think you can accomplish all of that in the minute and a half you have left before I take you out this window with me, be my guest. Charlie Swan is not my primary concern right now."
Her eyes widened. He was really mad at her. He kept a tight rein on it, not even raising his voice, but he was pissed...and he looked more than a little like a vampire at the moment.
A dangerous one.
And all that anger was caused by the worry he'd gone through. His worry about her.
Why...why in the name of all that was sane and logical was that the sexiest thing she'd ever seen in her whole life? Maybe she shouldn't have been so hasty to decline Carlisle's offer to get her some counseling when she'd been staying with them. Because there probably shouldn't be a pounding throb between her legs just from looking at the sharp set of Edward's clenched jaw, the tension in his powerful frame.
And she really shouldn't be licking her lips in anticipation of what he might do if she kept pushing.
"You can't be serious," she argued, frustrated in a couple of different ways now. It was kind of amazing she remembered her point at all. "I told you there's nothing to worry about, and I was right. I was there for hours, and no harm done."
He just glared at her, his jaw working while anger radiated off of him in waves.
Some instinct made her reach out, lay her hand on his forearm and step closer. "See? I'm fine. It's not like I'm going anywhere else tonight. Are you really going to risk setting Charlie off by kidnapping me, all because I went to La Push with my dad for a little while? Edward, don't be..."
"Don't," he cut her off, his eyes searing into her, and she stilled. He hadn't exactly raised his voice. But he was losing some of that careful grip on his tightly restrained anger. Her hand slid off from his arm as she instinctively backed up a step, turning so that her back came up against the wall by the window.
And he followed her — just like her body had known he would. It was why she did it in the first place, she was stunned to realize. What was wrong with her?
"Don't finish that sentence, Isabella," he commanded quietly.
He didn't touch her in any way — his carefully controlled movements said that was a very, very conscious decision — but he did plant his hands on the wall on either side of her head, caging her in. Despite the look on his face, something stirred deep within her, something dark and delicious.
What would he do right then if she wasn't still human? She thought maybe she had some idea. There was a definite sexual charge to the anger between them, on both sides. She could feel it, an undercurrent in the air, practically humming.
Their mate bond.
If fiery passion was how mates solved fights, she might be picking a lot of them once she was changed. She didn't feel even a hint of uneasiness about being touched, at the moment. She felt nothing but anger and pure, unadulterated lust, mingling together seamlessly. Did he feel it too?
"How am I supposed to know what you'll do if I leave you here again?" Edward growled quietly, bending his arms and leaning closer into her space. That move sent a little thrill through her lower gut. "You knew exactly how I felt about you seeing him, and yet you sneaked off behind my back at the very first opportunity."
"I didn't do anything behind your back!" she protested, leaning a little closer herself. Her chest bumped his, and he backed off an inch, though his nostrils flared. "I told you I was still going to find a way to see my friend, and that's exactly what I did!"
"I nearly started a war tonight, Bella!" he hissed back furiously. "Do you understand what that would have meant? Kate took me down less than fifty feet from the boundary of Quileute territory on my way in to find you. Her first jolt barely slowed me down; I plowed right through everyone else. She had to give me everything she had at full power for over two hours just to hold me back, until you finally crossed back over the line and I could see for myself you were safe. So I truly hope tonight was worth it for you. Because it won't ever happen again."
She could barely breathe. Arousal wasn't what she felt anymore.
Good God, what had she done? She reached up and grabbed his wrists beside her head, staring up at him in horror.
"Edward...oh my God, you can't break the treaty! Not ever! What were you thinking?!"
He took a measured breath, his tight jaw muscle jumping as he checked his anger again.
"Aside from the fact that my mate could be hurt and I had to get to her? Nothing. I was running on pure instinct." He gave a frustrated sigh at her obvious lack of comprehension of his reactions. "For God's sake, Bella, how many times do I have to explain it?" he growled through clenched teeth. "You are my mate! You had been gone for hours. Alice couldn't see you. For all I knew, they were holding you there to keep you away from me. What was I supposed to do?"
Remorse flooded her, draining the last of the fight out of her. It had never once occurred to her that Edward might try to cross the border and come get her. But to him, it had never once occurred to him not to.
She had thought she understood his compulsion to protect her. But she had vastly underestimated it.
He could have been killed. He would have been killed. Not even Edward could fight an entire pack of werewolves alone. They were designed to kill vampires. Jacob had explained that and a whole lot more to her while she was in La Push that night — hence her newfound understanding and appreciation for the treaty that kept the wolves and vampires separate.
And if Edward's family had followed him, some of them might have been killed too. Edward was right: it would have been all-out war.
She released his wrists, reached up and cupped his face in her hands. He flinched but didn't pull away. If anything, he relaxed slightly, his eyes closing as he leaned into her touch after a moment, inhaling deeply. His hands stayed right where they were, on the wall beside her head.
"I'm sorry I scared you," she whispered sincerely. That was one apology she was definitely willing to make. "You weren't even supposed to find out about it until after I was back."
He didn't like the second half of that. The way he flinched made that clear, but he obviously decided to let it go.
"You're safe now," he rasped. His voice was hoarse. "That's all that matters."
"Did it hurt?" she asked remorsefully. "What Kate did to you, I mean."
His focus came back up, locked on her eyes. He winced, seemed to reconsider his words carefully before he finally spoke.
"Not nearly so much as what you did to me."
She exhaled like the breath had been knocked out of her, not having any idea what to say to that.
"Thirty seconds left, Bella," he said, softly this time. He backed completely away from her, put his hands in his pockets. "If there's anything you want to take with you, get it now."
She spent that 30 seconds leaving a hastily jotted note to tell Charlie she was fine, she was sorry, and she'd be back in a couple days.
TO BE CONTINUED...