Hi everyone! I'm coming up on the end of the back log of chapters I accrued while on hiatus. This means that its likely there will be a slowdown on how frequently I upload chapters. I would like to thank those of you who have taken the time to leave reviews and pm'd me about these last few chapters. I'm in the process of developing the next arc and your feedback is both encouraging and invaluable in the development process. With that out of the way, please enjoy this next chapter!

Blankets were strewn all over the furniture in the living room. Chairs had been dragged from the kitchen to prop some of them up, but they all had been haphazardly abandoned. The sewing supplies within the blast zone looked as though a passing storm had dropped them there. Hinata stood on the stairs overlooking the mess. She was at a complete loss as to where to begin to restore order amongst the chaos.

Since Tsunade had forbidden Beki from going anywhere unescorted, she was trapped inside the house more often than not. Hinata had cohabitated with Beki for more than two years but the incessant presence of her friend was taking its toll.

"Hey, Hinata!" Beki came galloping down the stairs in nothing more than her boy shorts, a pair of socks, and an oversized crew shirt. "Look what I found!"

Hinata did her best not to roll her eyes or heave a sigh. "Yes, Beki?"

Beki held up a familiar craft book. It had been given to Hinata as a birthday gift a few years before. Hinata's good natured smile fell, for the book bore ill portents.

"It's got like, 800 different craft projects in it," Beki beamed. "I already checked the closet, and you have most of the stuff we need. I can write you a list and while you're out, if you could pick up some matte glue and some googly eyes, I'm good to go for a week!"

Hinata's eyes fell on the already ruined living room. Beki's fort building activities had eaten up every blanket that wasn't tucked into a mattress in the house and every pillow that didn't have a head directly assigned to it. The idea of her camping out on the rug with glue, glitter, and googly eyes sent Hinata into a state of panic. It was a quiet clenching feeling in her chest that she imagined new mothers felt when they spotted their dearest baby holding a sharpie next to the couch.

"Hey, why don't you pick something for me to make you?" Beki beamed, completely unaware that Hinata had started discreetly hyperventilating behind her hand. "There are these really cute bookmarks in here with pandas on them!'

Hinata was prevented from squealing like a teakettle by the sound of Naruto's footfalls down the steps.

"Hey guys," Naruto smiled. He was in full training gear and casually made his way to the fridge. As he fished around inside for a lunch to pack, he said "I'm going to go train with Jiraiya. I should be out until after dark. I'll see you ladies around!"

"YOU'RE TAKING BEKI WITH YOU!" Hinata's voice broke, her volume coming out much louder than she intended. Anyone but the two people in the room with her would have noticed the absolute desperation in her tone, but Beki and Naruto stared at her in confusion.

"But Hinata, we're gonna do guy stuff!" Naruto slouched and kicked the ground. "Jiraiya will ream me if I bring Beki along to hang out."

"It's your turn," Hinata hissed quietly, pushing him towards the door. "Beki, you're training with Naruto today."

"I get to train with a Sanin? Awesome!" Beki skipped towards the door. "Maybe he can help me figure out how to get the Raijin style to work."

Hinata grabbed Beki by the collar before she could go outside and swung her bodily towards the stairs. Beki slid on the wood flooring and tumbled into the first few steps. She looked up at Hinata like a wounded dog. Hinata sighed, feeling guilty that she was sick to death of her best friend, but not guilty enough to let her stay home one more day. "PUT SOME DAMN PANTS ON!"

…

"Okay, there's a couple things you need to know about Pervy Sage," Naruto walked with his hands behind his head.

"Let me guess, he's a pervert," Beki grinned sheepishly.

Naruto laughed in his easy going way and nodded. "More than anything else. You know those books, the Icha Icha ones?"

"Yeah," Beki cocked her head.

Naruto shook his head. "He writes them."

Beki blinked in surprise. "So, he's the king of the perverts."

"And proud of it." Naruto sighed. "It was hell having to hang out with him while he did 'research', I tell you what."

"Cuz you're in a serious relationship with Hinata?" Beki asked.

Naruto cringed at the memory. "That, and I had to sit outside the seediest dives you could ever imagine so he could develop 'material' for his books."

Beki laughed. "I can relate. I used to have to hang outside when my dad was in meetings. I would get too bored and sneak in."

A shadow passed over Naruto's face. "I did that, too. Once. Never again."

"So, what else should I know about Jiraiya?" Beki asked.

"He'll probably like you," Naruto explained. "So, if you want him to train you and he starts giving you some excuse about why he won't, just use your wiles."

Beki gave him a suspicious look. "What do you mean, my 'wiles'?"

"Look," Naruto folded his arms sagely. "Whenever he gave me a hard time, I just flashed the sexy jutsu at him. Putty in my hands."

Beki nodded. "Okay, I got it. It's a good thing I'm comfortable with casual nudity."

"If he really has a problem with it, we'll draw some stripes on your face and put you in pigtails," Naruto scratched his chin. "Then we'll just tell him you're my clone."

Beki shrugged. "Sounds like that'll work to me."

They walked a few more feet and Naruto stopped. He held up a hand as if considering a hitch in their nefarious plot. "If we do that, you can't tell Hinata."

"Why?" Beki put her hands on her hips and stared him down. "Something I should know?"

"It's not anything bad, it's just," Naruto shook his head. "Don't worry about it. Just know it would make things difficult for me."

"Alright," Beki cracked her knuckles. "I'm stoked!"

…

They arrived at the training field to find Jiraiya scribbling away in his notebook, poised atop a fallen tree.

"You're late, Naruto," Jiraiya sighed. "You had better have been picking up lunch for us."

"Sorry Pervy Sage," Naruto smiled. "You know how I told you Hinata and I have a roommate? I brought her along to train with us today."

"Naruto, I don't have time to-" Jiraiya turned to face him, his expression full of ire, but the moment he laid eyes on Beki he froze.

Beki gave him a friendly wave. "Hi, nice to meet you."

"You, uh," Jiraiya cleared his throat. "You're from Getsugakure right? You wouldn't happen to be related to anyone from the Asou clan, would you?"

Beki smiled. Her family's reputation preceded her. "Yes, my mom was the last Asou, actually."

"Training's cancelled!" Jiraiya snapped his book shut. "Catch you kids later!"

"Hey, we just got here!" Naruto protested. "Why are you so moody today?!"

Jiraiya leapt off the ledge into the forest below. Beki gave Naruto a crestfallen look. "Was it something I said?"

Naruto shook his head. "You know what, he was the same way when I asked him to train me. It took a week of stalking him to wear him down and Sexy Jutsu sealed the deal."

"Do you think it's what I'm wearing?" Beki looked down at her clothes. She was wearing the gray uniform her father had brought her a few years before. It was starting to look threadbare, but it was incredibly comfortable and it kept Beki protected during a fight. There was padding sewn into the wrap shirt and the leggings were made of durable fabric that held up well against the wear and tear of training in the woods.

"Maybe you're too covered up?" Naruto scratched his head. "You could do something cuter with your hair, maybe?"

Beki sighed. "I'll go back to the house and find something else."

"I'll help you!" Naruto punched the air. "If anyone knows Pervy Sage's weaknesses, it's me!"

…

Hinata was glad her house was finally clean. It had taken her the better part of the morning, but now all her blankets and pillows were put away. She had also taken the liberty of hiding the glitter and putting the craft book in Hanabi's room for safe keeping.

Now Hinata could run her errands in peace knowing that things would finally get back to normal.

…

Beki stepped out of her closet in a neon pink bikini.

"No," Naruto shook his head. "It's been done. He's developed a resistance to that."

"I don't know what else to do!" Beki folded her arms. "I've never really understood the whole 'sexy' thing. I just wear my normal clothes for Gaara and he likes them just fine."

Naruto sighed. "Yeah, cuz he's your boyfriend. He cares about the person that's in the clothes. You've got to think like meat."

Beki shook her head in confusion. "Meat?"

"Yeah," Naruto smiled. "Pretend you don't have a personality, just wear the clothes! Pick something you fill out nice that's like, two sizes too small, and pretend like your only purpose in life is to look good in it!"

Beki looked down at her bikini. "I'm not selling it well enough?"

Naruto nodded. "You have to be confident in it."

Beki struck and awkward pose. "Like this?"

"No," Naruto posed. "Like this."

Beki gave him a confused look and he sighed. Naruto formed hand signs and the room filled with smoke. Beki heard a popping sound and Naruto stood before her, prettier and more buxom than Beki knew she would ever be.

"Like this!" Naruto struck a cute and flirty pose. Beki walked over to the mirror on her vanity and tried to mimic the pose.

"There!" Beki smiled. "I think I got it!"

Naruto put his hand on his chin and considered her. "Close. Much closer." He walked over and started to adjust her posture so her chest and rear were more pronounced. "There you go!"

Naruto struck the same pose. "Now we're twins!"

"Yay for bikini meat!" Beki grinned. "He'll train me for sure!"

…

Hinata stepped inside the kitchen and heard voices upstairs. There were a trail of shoes and Naruto's lunch pack was strewn over the counter. The sick feeling crept back into Hinata's gut as she thought about what harebrained scheme the two of them were hatching upstairs. She took the steps two at a time, ready to face some kind of jello monster or a saran wrap recreation of a famous work of art.

She put her hand on the doorknob and turned, swinging the door open slowly as she spoke. "What are you two up to?"

Her eyes were met with naked girl Naruto in an excessively suggestive pose and Beki in a bikini desperately trying to imitate him. "W-what…?" Hinata narrowed her eyes and shook her head. "What is this?"

"Pervy sage refused to train me, so Naruto is showing me how to be sexy so we can get him to agree," Beki explained.

"Yeah, Hinata!" Naruto smiled at her coyly. "Maybe you can help us!"

"Help you what?" Hinata made her best effort to avoid looking directly at naked girl Naruto.

"Naruto tells me I should just act like bikini meat," Beki sighed. "Do you think that's the right way to go?"

Hinata sighed and shook her head. "I have groceries to put away. Just make sure you two clean up when you're done playing."

As Hinata clopped down the stairs she heard Naruto speak, "That's her way of agreeing when she's tired."

…

Naruto and Beki tracked Jiraiya down in the woods. He hadn't gone far from where they had originally met, so although Beki was just wearing shoes, a bikini, and her coat, she wasn't in too much distress.

"Go for it!" Naruto patted her back and Beki stepped forward, striking one of the poses girl Naruto had taught her.

"Jiraiya! Please train me!"

His head snapped to the side to face her and his eyes immediately grew wide. "Nope!" He leapt over Beki and grabbed Naruto by the shoulders.

"Naruto, you don't understand who you're dealing with there," Jiraiya jerked his head towards Beki. "I've had run ins with her family before. They're bad news. Predators, all of them. That, and she's jailbait! What did I teach you about jailbait?!"

Before Beki could catch up, Jiraiya ran away, leaving the two of them to come up with another plan.

"That was a total fail," Beki grumbled. "So much for the 'infallible' method you taught me."

Naruto scratched his head in confusion. "I don't know what the deal is. It's always worked before."

…

"Hinata!" Beki came storming in the kitchen door. Hinata's eyes immediately dropped to her shoes. They were caked with forest mud and Hinata was about three seconds from barking at her to take her shoes off when Beki seemed to remember to do so herself. She unlaced her boots on the welcome mat as she spoke.

"Hinata, it didn't work," Beki sighed. "It's got to be because Naruto is a boy. He's prettier than me as a girl but I don't think he really knows how this stuff works. Help me, Hinata!"

This whole escapade had kept Beki out of the house all day. If Jiraiya agreed to train her, that would be a guaranteed break for Hinata with Beki out of the house. As much as Hinata disliked playing into these schemes, she needed some space.

"Okay, Beki," Hinata sighed. "I'll help you."

…

Beki finished buttoning the white collared shirt as Hinata smoothed out her pigtails. She had fished some pink scrunchies out of Hanabi's accessory box that she hadn't worn in ages. They gave the outfit the perfect touch of genuine innocence it needed to carry the look. Beki stood up and yanked down the mini skirt a bit.

"I can't bend over in this to save my life," Beki said self-consciously.

"Squat if you need to pick something up," Hinata suggested. "Or not. Depends on what image you're going for."

"You think the knee highs are too much?" Beki looked down at them suspiciously. "Do girls our age even wear knee highs?"

"Yes, they do," Hinata said. "And believe me, something about knee highs makes boys go crazy."

Beki nodded. "Noted."

"Alright, go out there and nab your apprentice position with the power of your complete disregard for public decency or self-respect!" Hinata patted Beki's back.

"Look, anyone who wants to talk to me about my lack of decency can take it up with the kick ass moves I'll learn working under a sanin!" Beki said triumphantly.

"Atta girl," Hinata smiled. "Go get em."

…

Jiraiya stood on top of the Hokage monument overlooking the city. What is Naruto thinking? He shook his head. The kid clearly had no idea who Beki's family was. Jiraiya had run into Asou Yukihana once and still had nightmares about it. That woman just wasn't human. She was a man-eating monster, and that made Naruto's roommate a monster by default. In any other circumstance, he would be jealous of the boy cooped up in a house with two beautiful young women. Seeing as one of them was an Asou, though, Jiraiya had zero interest getting wrapped up in that trouble.

"Okay, look," the voice behind him sent a chill down his spine. Beki stood behind him in a schoolgirl outfit that would make any man's knees buckle. "I am not good at this sexy thing so this is the best I've got. Train me already!"

There was that voice, that terrifying commanding tone he heard in his nightmares. Jiraiya formed hand signs and summoned a toad.

"What are you-"

Before Beki could finish, the enormous toad Jiraiya had summoned wrapped his tongue around the old man and swallowed him whole. As Beki watched, speechless, the toad leapt away. After a moment, the shock passed and Beki stomped her foot in fury. "REALLY?!"

Beki felt pure anger welling up inside her and it completely consumed all her senses. The world was red, every sound sent daggers through her temples, and every step she took to get home increased her rage tenfold. She was a seething creature, almost praying someone would cross her path so she could unleash her wrath upon them.

The only thing Beki could conclude from the day was that she wasn't attractive. It was a running joke that Beki was the ogre of the group of girls. Even girl Naruto made her look like trash. Boys were prettier than she was. She had tried her hardest, wearing a swimsuit, and then this stupid school girl outfit and it had been revolting. So much so in fact, that it physically drove people away when she tried to be attractive. Her thoughts spiraled out of control down a path of self-loathing and confusion all the way home.

…

"They're an odd pair, I have to admit," Neji folded his arms. "How do you feel about this?"

Hinata sighed. "They're both harmless, like a couple of kids. I know that. I still can't help but feel a little uncomfortable with their shenanigans from time to time."

"That's perfectly acceptable," Neji nodded. "I would just say you have to make sure you make your feelings clear to the two of them. If they're crossing a line, let them know. They're both the type to not notice they're bothering someone, but they would never intentionally do something to hurt you."

Beki's violent entrance through the kitchen door interrupted their conversation. She let out an otherworldly cry of rage and anguish as she tore off her shoes, slammed them on the floor, and then ripped her shirt open.

Neji stood there, stunned to silence at the sight of her display. She was terrifying but at the same time he felt oddly aroused by her brutish behavior.

"It didn't work!" Beki tore her shirt off and slammed it on the ground.

"What happened?" Hinata sipped her cup of tea as though Beki savagely undressing in their kitchen was a common occurrence.

"He didn't even turn me down with his words. He summoned a toad and it ate him!" Beki balled her fists.

"Ouch," Hinata cringed sympathetically. "You can try again tomorrow."

"What's the point?!" Beki seethed. "I'm clearly ugly or something if a boy can out pretty me!"

"Neji does that to Tenten all the time," Hinata said.

Beki seemed to finally take notice that Neji was present. She took a deep breath before addressing him. "Since you're a crossdressing specialist, tell me, what am I doing wrong here?!"

Neji had intentionally been avoiding the sight of her heaving chest, but with her permission his eyes immediately snapped to her. You've seen her naked before, Neji. This is nothing, he told himself. Keep it together. Beki stood before him in a bra that displayed her chest like a platter. The combination of the miniskirt and the knee socks accentuated the feminine curves of Beki's legs. The miniskirt was short enough that the bottom was just shy of covering the transition from leg to rear. Neji's gaze clung to that spot like glue and made him wonder what kind of underwear she was wearing. If he could commit one sin in his lifetime and get a free pass, it would be to flip up her skirt and see what it was hiding.

Realizing that he had stared for what felt like an eternity, Neji's face flushed and he looked out the window. "It all looks good. Looks good to me."

Beki made a disgusted noise and walked over to Hinata. "See what I mean? I just don't get what I'm doing wrong!"

Neji realized he was experiencing a physical phenomenon that would make this situation even more awkward if anyone noticed. "I'll let you two straighten this out. Excuse me."

"Bye Neji," The girls said in unison.

As he walked back to his room, Neji cursed under his breath. No. We decided we weren't going to do this anymore. It seemed like the more he wanted to get over Beki, the harder he fell for her. Before it was just an emotional love. He was attracted to her personality and he found her sense of humor charming. In the past, being in her presence genuinely brightened his day. Now, being around her made him physically crave her. It must have been the kiss, he thought. Ever since then his thoughts had kept slipping back to how her lips had felt against his, and how different a "real" kiss would be. Dammit, Neji. Pull it together.

…

Beki had changed into the baggiest sweatpants she owned and her favorite cotton tank top. She laid on the couch with her head on Hinata's lap, angrily eating snap peas as Hinata pet her head.

"There, there, Beki," Hinata sighed. "You aren't ugly. Jiraiya just has bad taste."

Beki glared at the ceiling. She savagely bit into a snap pea, as if she was imagining it was someone's head. "It's my jaw. I look like my dad with a wig."

"No, Beki, you're fine." Hinata gently pushed her up into a seated position.

Beki sat there for a moment, rolling the remnants of the savaged snap pea in her fingers. "I'm doing this the wrong way." She stood up and walked upstairs. Hinata watched after her, mild concern tugging at her gut. Beki came downstairs a few minutes later in her training uniform carrying her dad's kanabo.

"I tried sexy," Beki glowered. "Time to go full Tsukimori on his ass."

Hinata gave her a gentle smile. "That's my girl."

…

Beki tracked down the sanin one more time. Jiraiya was squatting by the edge of a river, as if he were watching the fish swim downstream. Beki tightened her grip on the kanabo and steadied her breathing. Let's see how good this old man really is.

Kanabo at the ready, Beki charged forward as quickly and silently as she could. She wound up and leapt through the air, preparing to knock the old man right into the water. At the same time as she swung, Naruto jumped out of the water next to Jiraiya with a fish in his mouth.

"I got it!" He managed to say before he was knocked right back into the water by Beki's devastating blow.

"Oh shit!" Beki tossed her kanabo aside and waded into the water. "Naruto, are you okay?"

His eyes were wide and he lay on the river bed, an expression of shock and pain on his face.

"Hinata's going to kill me," Beki grumbled as she hauled Naruto out of the water onto the bank.

"So, I take it you're here to beg me to train you again?" Jiraiya said at last, his demeanor completely unchanged despite he had just witnessed his student get assaulted.

"I want to hear why you won't train me," Beki hefted the kanabo over her shoulder.

"To be honest kid," Jiraiya stood. "I didn't even want to take Naruto on as an apprentice. I'm retired and I've had bad experiences with taking students in the past." Jiraiya nudged Naruto with his foot and Naruto didn't respond. He shrugged and continued: "But there was no one else who could help him learn how to manage the tailed beast inside him and the insane amount of chakra constantly running through him. That's why I took him on. No one else could help him."

Jiraiya looked Beki over as if sizing her up seriously for the first time. "I know why you're coming to me. Your balance is all off on the inside, but it's not something I can help you fix. With Naruto, it was just a seal adjustment and management strategies. With you…it's something else."

"What do you mean?" Beki blinked in confusion. She had expected him to give her an answer like I don't train girls. Instead he was telling her something was wrong with her on the inside.

"Your energy is all mixed up," Jiraiya explained. "It's hard to describe. You're giving off one type of energy, but underneath it there's something else. It's in complete opposition to the primary energy and it feels almost malevolent in nature."

Beki squinted her eyes. "So…I'm possessed?"

"No," Jiraiya shook his head. "It's probably just something wrong with your diet or sleep patterns. But you don't need my specialized help to deal with that."

Beki groaned. "Whatever you do, don't tell Ebisu sensei that. He'll have me back on a diet of nattou and uncooked vegetables."

Jiraiya laughed aloud. "You're working with that guy? Good luck. He's a real ball buster."

"Tell me about it," Beki adjusted her footing. Naruto was finally coming to.

"Did I get hit by a truck?" Naruto sat up slowly, rubbing his back. "It feels like I got hit by a truck."

"No, Naruto," Beki sighed. "It was just me. You body blocked your sensei."

"Oh," Naruto nodded, fully accepting the explanation at face value with no further inquiry as to why Beki would want to KO his teacher. "So, Pervy Sage, can we stop for the day?"

"Yes kid," Jiraiya waved them off. "Go on home."

As the two teenagers walked out of view, Jiraiya sighed. He felt bad for the girl but there was nothing he could do. It wasn't like Naruto, where Jiraiya had removed the five-pronged seal and taught him how to better manage the Nine-tails. The conflict she was dealing with was innate. There was a good chance that no matter who this girl found to train her, there would be nothing they could do to prevent the inevitable collapse that the two opposing forces would cause.