CHAPTER FIVE
The next couple of months were marked by flying lessons, letters, Sirius and Sarah's birthdays, and hours spent in the library with Remus and/or Lily as they poured over their notes and books. As it turned out, Jane was a rather fair flyer, not the best but nowhere near the worst of the bunch. And when the first Quidditch match of the year rolled around, and Gryffindor beat Slytherin, James and Sirius had practically talked her into trying out for the house team with them during the subsequent year. She had agreed, determined that she would try, but secretly hoping the two boys would forget her promise.
Remus got sick about four times before the holidays. Jane chalked it up to a bad immune system.
Jane didn't get to write to Sarah as much as she would've liked; school and her new friends kept her pretty busy, but she still continued to write when she could. She had to find a way to tell Sarah about school without tipping her off that something weird was happening. Jane learned to substitute words like "Potions" and "Quidditch" with normal, Muggle words, like "Science" and "football."
It was now the nineteenth of December, and Jane was on the train ride home, sharing a compartment with Remus, James, and Peter as she stared out the window.
"I can't believe Sirius is actually staying at school for the holidays," James said.
"I can," Jane said. "Have you heard the way he talks about his family? They sound like dreadful people."
"Yeah, but still," James said, "no one should have to stay at school over break. I'm going to ask my mum and dad if he can stay over Easter holidays."
"I can't wait to see Sarah. She's going to be so excited," Jane said.
"I feel bad for you," James said.
"Why's that?"
"Because you can't use magic outside of school," he stated as though this were one of the worst things he could think up.
"Well, neither can you," Jane said.
"Well, if I use magic, they won't be able to tell because I live in an all wizarding household. You live with Muggles, so they'll know it's you if you do it," James said.
Jane shrugged. She had grown up without using magic (on purpose at least); she figured she could survive the holidays without it.
"Who needs magic when you've got your best friend?"
James scoffed and feigned hurt.
"And here I thought we were your best friends!"
Jane smiled and rolled her eyes.
"You guys are my best school friends. Sarah's been my best friend for years," Jane said.
"I heard Snivellus was going to stay at school for the holidays until he found out Evans wasn't," James said, and Peter laughed.
"What is it, James? Jealous that he lives near her?" Jane asked teasingly. James made a disparaging noise.
"What? I—Of course not!" he stammered in response. "Who in their right mind would be jealous of Snivellus?"
"Relax, James. I was only joking," Jane said, smirking, Remus sniggering from beside her.
James leaned back into his seat.
"I know that," he said.
The rest of the train ride consisted of a lot of napping on Jane's behalf, her head resting on Remus' lap.
"Jane, wake up!" boomed James' voice from somewhere very close to her ear canal.
"Ow!" Jane exclaimed, cupping her hand over her ear. She sat up and opened her sleepy eyes to glare at James. He only smirked.
"It's time to get off the train," he said.
Remus helped Jane pull her suitcase down from the luggage rack, and they hopped off the train and onto the platform.
Jane looked around. Remus must've thought that she was looking for her parents.
"Your parents are probably outside the barrier," he said. "Muggles can't get in unless they have a witch or wizard with them."
"I didn't know Muggles could get in at all to be perfectly honest," Jane admitted. "My mum and dad dropped me off outside the barrier when school started. We didn't know they could come in with me."
"Well, I'll see you guys later," Remus said as he walked off to his parents. Peter found his parents next. And then James.
Then, Jane decided to go find her mum on the other side of the barrier. When she got over there, however, her mum was nowhere in sight. So, she waited. And she waited. And she waited. She put her hands on her hips and decided to walk back onto the platform, just to make sure, even though she knew what Remus had told her was almost certainly the truth.
"Jane?"
She turned to see James with his mum and dad.
"What you are doing back here?" he asked.
"Never left," she said. "Can't find my mum. What are you still doing here?"
James rolled his eyes.
"My mum likes to socialise," he told her, and as if she had sensed that James was talking about her, James' mother walked over.
"Who's your friend, darling?"
"Jane Hensworth," he answered.
"Oh, what a beautiful name," his mother said. "I'm James' mother. Are your parents around?"
"Um, no ma'am. My parents are Muggles. My mum's probably stuck in traffic—"
"Oh, well you won't find them on the platform, darling," Mrs. Potter said. "Here, I'll go help you find them."
"That's really nice, but–"
"Save it," James interrupted. "She's already gone."
And he was right. Mrs. Potter had already slipped through the barrier. James sighed as he and Jane followed her.
"Now, who am I looking for, dear?" Mrs. Potter asked.
"Oh, my mum. My dad's away on business; he doesn't get back until tomorrow."
They looked for Jane's mother for what felt like forever.
"You guys really don't have to stay. I'm sure she's almost here," Jane said after a while.
"And leave you here by yourself?" Mrs. Potter exclaimed, seemingly affronted at the thought. "Absolutely not!"
James groaned into his hands.
They waited for a little while longer until,
"Jane!"
Jane turned to see a streak of blonde hurtling towards her.
"Sarah!" Jane exclaimed as she was almost tackled to the ground.
"Did you come with my mum?" Jane asked, but when she looked up, she saw Sarah's mum instead. A realisation of sorts seemed to force its way into Jane's mind and she frowned slightly.
"Hi, Ms. Camden."
"Hello, Jane."
Sarah looked at Jane knowingly.
"Your mum couldn't make it. She asked us to come get you," Sarah said.
"Did she really ask, or did you have to go ask her why she hadn't left yet?" Jane whispered so only Sarah could hear. Sarah only nodded a bit, not wanted to tell her best friend the answer aloud. Jane swallowed and held her head up, pushing the thought and hurt from her mind.
"Sarah, this is James," Jane said. "James, Sarah."
"Hello," Sarah said.
James waved.
"Jane talks about you all the time," he said. Jane was glad he said this because Sarah seemed to brighten a lot when he did.
"Well, we better go. Thanks for waiting with me, Mrs. Potter," Jane said.
"Oh, it was no problem, dear," she said. "I love meeting James' friends."
"Bye, James."
"Bye."
Sarah's mother picked up Jane's suitcase, and they headed for the car.
"You never said he was cute in any of your letters," Sarah said as they got into the car.
"Who? James? Oh, please don't ever tell him that. His head's big enough already," Jane said, laughing a bit. Then, she stopped smiling and looked at Sarah pointedly.
"So, what happened?" Jane asked quietly. Sarah shrugged.
"I mean, I know your dad's away on business and everything, but last Saturday when I gave her my letter, she seemed fine."
Jane didn't say anything.
"So, today I kept looking to see if she had gone to get you yet, and it was getting pretty late, so I went in your house, and she was lying there on the couch. I woke her up, and she asked if my mum could come and get you, that she wasn't feeling well," Sarah said.
Jane only nodded. She hated when her mum had her bad spells.
"But she–she was doing so much better. I thought that maybe—I don't know," Jane said.
"Mum says you can stay with us tonight if you want," Sarah said. Jane shook her head.
"I don't want to leave her there alone, ya know?"
Sarah nodded.
"D'you think she'll ever get better, I mean, like really better?" Jane asked.
"I'm sure she will," Sarah said, but Jane could tell that she didn't really believe it. Jane's mum had been like this for what felt like forever; she probably wasn't ever going to get better, not in the ways Jane had hoped.
So, that night, Sarah stayed with Jane. When Jane got home, her mother at least got up to give her a hug. Jane could tell she hadn't showered; her skin was dull, and her hair was greasy. Then, her mum went up to her room and closed the door. And that door stayed shut for almost the whole of the Christmas holidays.
Once Jane's dad got back home on the twentieth, Jane stayed at Sarah's as much as possible. She hated being in the house when her mum was like that. It was like living with a ghost almost. You knew she was there, could feel her sad energy, but you never saw her or heard from her. It was a thief that always stole away a small part of Jane whenever she was around it for too long, like the sadness was a monster that emanated from her mother and sneaked through the cracks in the doors of the house, unseen and unheard, poking and prodding at Jane and her father. So, Jane sufficed with helping Sarah and her mum decorate and also complaining about John, Ms. Camden's boyfriend, with Sarah.
It wasn't until a few days after Christmas that Jane's mum pulled out of her latest episode. It was like a switch almost whenever she did this, like she was a completely different person, the person that Jane knew best. She was very happy and full of all this energy, energy that filled the Hensworth house and warmed it better than any furnace could on a cold winter's day. And since everything seemed alright again, Jane would allow herself once more to be fooled into thinking that her mother was sincerely happy this time around.