Blonde Ambition

by sephcounttheways

Cloud bursts out of his shell when he enrolls into the military academy. Can the power of punk rock help him get the man of his dreams?

35. Shut Up

Sephiroth entered the waiting room at ten o'clock on Tuesday morning, and there several very normal-looking civilian people there. Everything was in shades of blue and gray. There was a water cooler and a table with a Keurig and a little coffee making station. There was a box of colorful toys and a tiny table for kids to sit and play. There were some peaceful nature scenes framed on the walls.

It looked clean and calm and nice and the total opposite of anything he'd ever experienced medically before. Nobody was screaming. Nobody was in straight jackets. Nobody looked like they'd been kept here against their will, exhausted, crying, hungry, soiling their pants and made to sit in it until they started talking to the therapist about Jenova.

Just normal people. He could be a normal person, too.

He approached a window and bent down a little to talk into the speaker, "Hey. This is my first time here."

"I know," said the young woman in the window. Her face said she knew exactly who he was, and was not a fan. She curtly slid him a clipboard with a pen attached to it, "Fill these out."

He'd never encountered a medical situation where he had to fill out anything before. He took it curiously, "... What if I don't have a last name?"

"You can leave it blank."

"I guess it's technically Shin-Ra."

"You can put that, then."

"What if I don't go by that, though?"

"Do you need someone to come out and assist you with the forms?"

"I'll figure it out," he pushed off the counter and went to sit down, maintaining the several-empty-seat buffer between him and the other people waiting. He crossed one ankle over his thigh to give himself something to write on, and realized he had a huge hole in the knee of his black jeans. He'd never worn these before. They'd been a gift from –

He shut his eyes for a moment, and tried not to think of anything in particular. In his mind he saw yellow hair, the brush of something soft against his cheek. Like a bull with some weird color blindness, just the color yellow made his entire face and body blush with pure rage. Heat rolled off his skin, and he pushed his sweatshirt up to his elbows and tried to just... stop.

He'd tried to work that morning, but the more time he had to replay the events of the previous night, the harder it was to pretend that nothing was bothering him and that this would just be a normal day. He went home to take a shower, and something about standing naked under water made emotions begin to fucking boil inside him, and he hadn't been able to make them stop since. He couldn't even look through his closet without thinking of Cloud, or of what Cloud liked to see him in most, or running over the real estate Cloud had claimed in the closet to hang his stupid little clothes. Sephiroth had just grabbed whatever was closest and pulled it on in the frenzy to talk to someone.

Even a therapist.

Humiliating. This was like getting a hooker, but so much more pathetic.

Once the rage simmered down into something manageable, he wrote down his name (just Sephiroth), his birthdate, his address, his everything, his whatever. He wrote down all the medication he was taking and was kind of amused that there was space for a lot more. Some people must have been on even more shit than he was. He marked that he didn't know if diabetes, heart attacks, or heart disease ran in his family.

There was a place for comments. He smirked to himself and wrote, Nobody in my immediate family has a heart.

There were lots more papers with kind of redundant information to be filled out, but he didn't care why. He wrote quickly and was done in a few minutes.

He gave them back to the woman who didn't like him, "What do I do now?"

"Have some coffee. She'll be out to get you in a few minutes."

He obeyed. Not because he wanted a little styrofoam cup of coffee, but because it was something to do to refrain from thinking about anything at all. He sat down with it and pulled out his phone. There were a bunch of texts from Cloud, typical shit about how sorry he was and how much he loved him.

So fucking what? He put it back in his pocket and picked up the first magazine he could reach and shook it open. The last time he'd looked at a magazine like this, Cloud had been reading it to him while he was getting tattooed, so he tossed it away. Was there nothing banal enough to not remind him of Cloud? Or was his brain playing some little sadomasochistic game with itself, getting hot and angry on purpose just to feel something other than how it felt to walk in on everyone he loved – who were supposed to love him – and they were all plotting –

"Sephiroth?"

He stood up too quickly and spilled a dribble of hot coffee down the side of his hand, and onto the floor, "Shit. Sorry."

"It's okay, you can bring it in. I'm Dr. Gina Stokes, happy to finally have you!"

"Thanks," he said, taking a look at his therapist. She was not what he expected a friend of Rhonda's to look like at all. She looked to be about sixty and like she'd had at least three kids. The type of lady who was really into meditation and yoga. If she told him to meditate his problems away he was gonna fucking lose it.

"My office is just this way," she went through a set of doors and gestured for him to follow, so he wiped his hand on his jeans and did. They walked down a hallway, past many other doors. Some were open, and he glanced in to see peaceful looking little offices with boxes of tissues on every single surface.

Tissues? He hadn't even considered the possibility she might make him cry. He contemplated the social ramifications of turning around and walking out. What could they really do about it? He'd be an office joke for a day or two before they'd forget about him. Nobody had to know he was ever here. It didn't matter if she told Rhonda, it was clear that Rhonda didn't think he was shit, anyway.

She was waiting for him at the end of the hall, "Do you need to use the restroom or anything?"

"... No," he caught up with her and accepted her invitation in. He expected there to be a lot of crystals or some shit, but it was clean and nice like the rest of the office. She had a pretty good view of Midgar – the kind that didn't have Shin-Ra HQ in it.

The walls were all bright blue except for one, it was a photographic mural of a field of yellow sunflowers. The color yellow made rage bubble up again but the couch was in front of it, so at least he didn't have to look at it.

Then he noticed her furniture was new shit that tried to look like old shit, and the fury returned. Faux vintage really did make him angry all over again, and he realized he wasn't going to be able to go on living like this. He couldn't stand himself. He wanted whatever pills that old rich ladies on TV shakily took with wine whenever life became too much, immediately.

And so he shamelessly inquired, "Do you prescribe medication?"

"Very rarely, and never on the first consultation."

And right then she shut the door. It was finally too late to just leave without it being incredibly awkward, so he supposed this was happening and he wasn't even going to get old rich lady pills out of it. He turned his back on the offensive color yellow and sat down on the expensive as shit but trying to look old couch, and set his cup down on her coffee table near the stupid box of tissues. He didn't know what to even do with his arms or hands.

She was standing next to the couch, smiling and waiting.

He blinked, then realized he'd sat right in the middle of the couch and was man-spreading, so he quickly moved to one side, "Sorry. I assumed you'd sit like, across."

"More comfortable sitting together and talking this way, isn't it?" she sat beside him with one knee tucked underneath her, and rested her elbow on the back of the couch. "Did you have any trouble finding this place?"

"No."

"Really? I just assumed you've been lost for the past eleven months."

"... Yeah. I've been really busy these past - has it really been eleven months?"

"Yes. You've been paying us to tidy up and catch up on filing on Saturday mornings. I kept calling your secretary to make sure you still wanted your appointments, and she said you did, so... we've been here waiting for you."

He'd assumed that girl at the front desk didn't like him for political reasons, but maybe he'd been wasting her time because he was too afraid to pick up a fucking phone and tell this lady he wasn't interested in therapy.

"Sorry," he offered yet again, feeling stupid.

"Don't be, I'm glad you're here. I figured the least I can do for taking your money for nearly a year is clear the day for you."

He froze, "Do I have to stay here the whole day?"

"You can stay as long as you like."

He let out a little breath of relief, "So... Rhonda sent me here. How do you two know each other?"

"My background's in pediatrics, and Rhonda took quite a few classes of mine at MU. She ended up working with me during her residency years, and we've always kept in touch. The older I got the more I realized talking to people was what I like most about medicine, and it felt very natural to find a place here."

"Oh," he glanced at the wall clock, and it was ten forty-one. He was starving. He hadn't eaten since almost spitting up key lime pie.

"You don't give a shit how I know Rhonda."

His eyes snapped to her from the clock, "I do. Kind of."

"It is small talk you don't like, then?"

"It's just... this. This is so weird."

"Normally on a preliminary session like this we'd just shoot the shit and get to know each other a little, like making a friend. But when you called this morning, you used the word 'emergency' several times, so let's just jump right into that. What happened?"

Sephiroth swallowed a sip of coffee along with his pride, "... I guess I just really need to talk to someone about... my boyfriend."

"Alright, I have a lot of experience in relationship counseling..." her eyes were on the coffee in Sephiroth's hands. Steam was steadily pumping up out of the cup, "... Is he doing something to harm you or himself?"

"I think so. But nobody else does. So I must be wrong," the coffee in Sephiroth's cup began to tremble.

She very gently reached out and took the cup from Sephiroth and set it on the table in front of him, "What's he doing?"

Sephiroth began to pop his knuckles nervously now that his hands were empty, "Can I ask you somethin' weird?"

"Yes."

"Do you know anything about clones?"

"I should probably get it out of the way and tell you that I'm not Shin-Ra affiliated. But I was an outside consultant to their medical lab for many years. You don't have to tiptoe around those subjects if that's what you're here to talk about."

Sephiroth's posture collapsed against the back of the couch, "I fuckin' knew it. Goddamnit. Why would Rhonda send me here?"

Her eyes lit up, because that was the first real thing Sephiroth had said thus far, "You just met me, you have no reason to trust me. But you'd have a tough time finding a doctor in any field in this entire region who's never been involved somehow with the Shin-Ra medical labs."

His head rolled towards her, and he actually looked her in the face for the first time. She had gray eyes. He felt like he'd definitely remember eyes like those, but asked her, "Have we ever met before?"

She found it easy to stare back into his green eyes, "Never. And because you're painfully handsome enough that I'm sure your ego can take it – I had no idea who you were until Rhonda referred you to me... and she hasn't told me anything about you, other than you're her dear friend who would like to talk to someone outside of the company where you two work."

He weighed what she was saying minus the bullshit physical flattery and kind of believed her, "... What were you doin' as a consultant for the lab?"

"Shin-Ra employees need just as much counseling as everyone else."

"More."

"I can't comment," she shrugged coyly, but her eyes read pure confirmation.

Sephiroth had to smirk, imagining a reality show confessional of all the people who fucked him over spilling their guts and using up boxes of tissues, "What made you quit?"

"The parking's terrible on that side of town."

"Nice dodge."

"If there's one thing I take deathly seriously, it's HIPAA."

"Huh?"

"Did you read those forms you filled out in the waiting room?"

"No."

"I love an honest man. A bunch of those forms were informing you that you don't have to worry about anything you say leaving these walls. Not because I'm extra good at keeping secrets, but if I violate your confidence you get to sue the shit out of me. The law is guaranteeing and protecting your right to council with impunity. Unless you tell me you're planning to harm yourself or someone else, nothing leaves here."

It never had realistically occurred to him that he had rights. Especially not in the eyes of civilians. Martial law he understood, but civilian laws sort of struck him like rules of a board game... he never read them, didn't care what they were, and the only people who actually followed them were dorks. Or maybe he himself when he was a very little kid. But growing up made him quickly realize nobody fucking else played by the rules of anything.

Sephiroth felt himself smile at the novelty of having like human rights, "... Alright. I guess my stupid life's always revolved around Shin-Ra. It's kinda weird talkin' to someone outside of it."

"That's what you wanted, isn't it?"

"That's exactly what I wanted."

"Good, because Shin-Ra's boring. What's your boyfriend's name?"

"... Cloud."

"Show me a picture."

Sephiroth paused for several seconds and seemed shaken by a realization, "My phone's new. I don't have any pictures of him, yet." At least not with any clothes on.

"Ask him to send a selfie."

"We don't have to do that."

"Come on, I cleared my whole day. Get your money's worth for once."

He texted Cloud and asked for a picture to show to his therapist, then he turned on his knee on the couch and faced her, "Are you hungry?"

"I'm always hungry. You want some early lunch? There's a great Wutainese place that's open this early."

He liked some Wutainese food, but it would only make him think about the way Cloud vocally, vehemently hated it, so he shook his head, "Not really in the mood for that."

"I know it's not the weekend, but how about we get some brunch delivered -"

"No."

"What are you in the mood for?"

"... Somethin' I've never had before," and wouldn't remind him at all of Cloud.

They spent a while looking up menus on UberEats, and found a deli that was open nearby. Sephiroth had never heard of split pea soup before, which Dr. Stokes assured him was loaded with cheese and bacon and tasted a lot better than it sounded. He also got two turkey sandwiches, because it was dead last on the list of items he'd ever order from a restaurant, and a Coke. She got the same meal, but with only one sandwich and a Diet Coke. Once the order was placed, they had forty-five minutes to kill before their early, but not-brunch lunch arrived.

She wasn't one to let a topic die, "Did he send a picture, yet?"

Sephiroth checked his phone, and gazed at it for a moment, "This is a weird picture of him."

"Why?"

It was like no picture he'd ever received from Cloud before. He was not smiling, or showing his tongue, or pulling up his shirt to make sure his abs and at least one nipple got in the shot, too. This one amounted to a mug shot, and Cloud looked exhausted.

Sephiroth hated this picture, and felt some of his anger shift to concern. Although he didn't particularly want to, he showed her.

"He's cute!" she leaned closer and grinned, totally ignorant to just how cute Cloud normally was, but absolutely wasn't in this picture. "He has beautiful eyes. And some people are so photogenic even when they're sweaty and working out, I never understood how. Is he at the gym?"

"He goes to the military Academy."

"I see..."

Sephiroth realized she was reading the texts visible on the screen and hit the side button that made the screen go dark, "That's what he looks like."

She folded her hands in her lap innocently, "Well he seems very affectionate. I think I counted five times he said 'I love you' in the span of like three texts. Is he laying it on thick because he's in trouble?"

"He's always like that. And he's not in trouble, he's just..."

She waited for him to say more but he didn't. She asked, "What'd he do?"

He set his jaw and looked at his phone, rereading for himself the texts Cloud had sent yesterday and this morning. And he looked at the strange picture, where Cloud simply stared back at him wearing the resting bitch face he'd been taught.

She watched him reread the text messages again and waited. Then she asked again, "Sephiroth, what happened?"

Eventually, he began to talk.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

When Sephiroth drove Cloud back to school on Sunday night, an unspoken agreement had already been made not to talk about the clone anymore. But Cloud did say one more thing, "If you do it, just make it quick. Don't hurt him. Don't let him suffer."

"'Kay," Sephiroth agreed, and said nothing more.

When they got to the Academy it was raining hard, but just half a degree colder and it would have been snowing. It was miserable outside, but it was nice and warm inside.

Their lips were a little sore, but they kept kissing anyway while making plans for the following weekend. Towards the end of the year things slowed down around Shin-Ra HQ, especially during peacetime, so Sephiroth would remain in Midgar until at least the new year. Unfortunately, relative world peace didn't factor into Cloud having to study for his upcoming exams.

"Friday night we start our study group. Can you come get me late? Like maybe eleven-ish?"

"You're gonna be drunk."

"It's study group," was the rationale. "But so what? Come get me."

"Just stay with your friends and call me Saturday when you're up. Don't be hungover 'cause I wanna go for a run."

Cloud grimaced, he'd been hungover on Sephiroth's runs before. His pout was so cute that Sephiroth kissed him with renewed vigor that bought him more sweet, warm tank time before having to get out into the freezing ass rain and face a new week.

Cloud just couldn't do it, yet. He laid his head against Sephiroth's arm and held his hand for a few minutes, watching raindrops be gently brushed away by the wipers every so often while listening to the radio. Some of the rain was floating away into snow flurries, so the temperature was dropping. It would probably snow all night.

Cloud let out a sigh, "... This is depressing."

"I was just thinkin' this is kinda nice."

"No, not this," Cloud clarified, squeezing his hand. "I'm tired, and this kind of weather makes me wish I could just cuddle up and go to sleep with you. I don't wanna live in the dorms, anymore. I don't wanna have to wait six days to see you again. I just wanna go home with you."

"This time next year, that's where we'll be."

"If I make it into SOLDIER. What if I really have to keep living here until school's over? Cam will definitely get into SOLDIER, so I'll get some new musty roommate and still have a whole year left to wait to move in with you."

"If you don't make it into SOLDIER your first try, I'll come stay here with you 'til you graduate."

Cloud laughed, "Don't be mean!"

"I'm not," Sephiroth held out his pinky. "Either way, I'll be your new musty roommate."

"You can't move into the Cadet dorms!"

"Says who?"

Cloud looked at his extended pinky for a moment, then curled his own around it, "Alright... but it won't be necessary because I am getting accepted! That reminds me, when exactly is your seminar?"

Sephiroth was quite pleased with how he'd knocked that negative self-doubt shit out of Cloud in record time, "Next next weekend. November twenty-somethin'...?"

"Can't be, it's the twentieth today," Cloud looked at his phone. "It'll be the first weekend of December."

"That's what I meant," Sephiroth insisted, and leaned across the arm rest to bury his fingers in the short hair on the back of Cloud's neck and tug him into one more kiss. "Text me before you go to sleep."

"Okay. I love you."

"Love you, too."

Cloud kissed his cheek as he pulled his bag from the backseat and finally got out into freezing cold, slippery, snowy rain. He was pretty much instantly soaked, so he didn't even bother running for shelter. He gave Sephiroth a wave goodbye, and walked towards the Rufus Building.

Usually he'd have pulled out his earbuds to listen to some music on a walk like this, but he kind of relished a little time to go through the events of the past couple days and think. It was really easy to get tripped up by the date at Sweet Pea, the insanely good sex before and after, and then the lovely, gentle Sunday he'd just spent with Sephiroth. But even a lovesick idiot like Cloud could tell he was being distracted, maybe even placated by someone who simply wanted him to turn his attention away from what had occurred Friday night, and the big fight Saturday.

Cameron and Psycho were already asleep when he got inside, and it was way too late to call his mom. He just had to contain everything he was thinking and feeling for the time being.

After a warm shower and drying his hair, he quietly got into bed and texted Sephiroth goodnight. He wasted a little time on his phone until Sephiroth texted back, simply night bb.

Cloud put his phone on the nightstand and rolled over onto his side. Psycho had bent and broken a little bit of the blinds off the end of the window while looking at birds outside, and Cloud could see the flashing lights of Shin-Ra headquarters in the distance.

Usually they were comforting, especially if he knew Sephiroth was there working. But tonight, through the mist of snow and wind, those lights just looked ominous... evil, even. He eventually was able to sleep, but he didn't dream.

The next morning, the pre-dawn sky was cloudless and full of stars, and crunchy snow covered the ground. When he arrived at the track for RUN class, he was disheartened to see that Skylar wasn't there to spill his guts to, or get any fun details about his and Angeal's date night.

The class was stretching out, and Cloud saw Nurse Rhonda chatting with a group of other drill instructors. He waited impatiently for her to come over, but the class was well-trained to begin running at six o'clock on the dot with or without her, so off they went.

It took about ten minutes and eight times around the track before Rhonda came over to her usual spot. She set out her lawn chair in the fresh snow, put on some shades despite the fact that the sun was still merely flirting with the horizon, and appeared to have gone to sleep.

He shouted out to her anyway, "Rhonda, Sir, hey!"

It took him about a minute to come back around the track, and she responded through her bullhorn with a flat, "Hey Strife."

A minute later when he returned, he shouted out, "Can we talk?"

When he came back around, she responded, "About what?"

A minute and a half later, he gasped out with all his might, "Can you take me to the lab after school!?"

When he came back around, she responded, "I didn't catch that, what'd you say?"

Cloud's cry of frustration echoed throughout the field, and when he came back around two minutes later, he barely had enough breath in his burning lungs to shout, "CanIjusttalktoyouafterclass!?"

"'Kay," she said through the bullhorn.

When thirty more minutes of balls to the wall running was over, Cloud only had ten minutes to catch his breath and get his ass to SURVIVE II on time, but hobbled over to Rhonda to do his recovery at her feet in the snow.

She looked down at him through her shades, "What do you want?"

"Hmmf – Hmmmmmf – Sephhhhhfffm –" Cloud was sure that he was internally bleeding, as he was every single morning after Rhonda's class. It would pass as it always did, but he didn't want to waste valuable time catching his breath enough to become verbal. With shaking hands he pulled his phone out and began texting her with lightning quick thumbs.

Rhonda's phone began pinging repeatedly in the pocket of her yoga pants, and she pulled it out curiously.

Can you please take me to the medical lab after school?

I want to see that clone again

Also I like your sunglasses :)

She pulled them off her face and revealed heavy dark circles under her reddened eyes, "Cloud, I haven't been home since that clone got brought in. I have one extremely pissed off wife and two babies at home that need me, I can't take you on a field trip."

"Hmmmmf!" Cloud tried to speak again, but instead desperately texted, I'm sorry to bother you like this but Seph's going to kill him tonight

Is there anything I can do to stop that

Or just help in general

Sephiroth needs to go to therapy really bad, you probably already know he won't

He said he'd go but I don't really believe him

Maybe you can help me convince him, he listens to you

Rhonda dropped her phone in her lap with an exhausted sigh, "The clone's had scientists on him since he was brought in, I doubt he's gonna kill him that easily. And if you can't convince him to see a shrink, how the fuck can I? He's your man Cloud, you deal with him."

Cloud texted, I'm trying to deal with him but sometimes he just writes me off like I'm nagging about something really basic! He doesn't seem to get it!

I really do think if we don't do something that clone is going to die tonight

Could you take me very quickly just to talk to him?

"He's not talking to anybody," Rhonda said after reading the texts. "He hasn't said one word."

Cloud's eyebrows turned up, and he was able to wheeze out, "Could – I try? To – talk to him?"

She was spinning her phone around between her fingers, "... You've never seen the clones in the lab before, have you?"

Cloud's chest was rising and falling as he shook his head, "Didn't even know it – was a thing – 'til the other night."

"This one's really, really different from all the others."

"Please take me?" Cloud gasped out. "He talked to me – before they took him. He'll talk to me again."

"Julie's gonna be so fucking mad..."

Cloud was only able to speak in short sentences without wheezing and it was beyond frustrating, "Tell her it's my fault. She can be mad at me. It's the truth."

"... When are you finished with classes?"

"Fuck classes. When's good for you?"

"I'm not letting you cut class, finals are coming up."

All Shin-Ra people were the same, and Cloud rolled his eyes, "Five?"

"I know for a fact you're not done by five."

Cloud wheezed again, "I can ditch my last cool down class – it's just fucking baseball. Will it be too late? What if Seph beats us there?"

"Let's find out, I'll text him for dinner plans," she went about doing it.

Cloud slowly stretched out his aching sides, caught his breath and shakily went to his feet. He only had five more minutes, and could see his SURVIVE II class gathering in the distance, "Let me know when you find out what he says."

"Oh hang on, he just texted back... 'working 'til nine, gonna see Cissnea after, what about breakfast tomorrow?' Looks like we've got until nine."

Cloud felt his usual stab of jealousy at their friendship. Did she even know how lucky she was to be able to make dinner or breakfast plans with Sephiroth whenever she wanted? He shoved his hands in his pockets meekly, "Can I ditch baseball, anyway?"

"... Fine, it'll get me home sooner. Meet me by the front gate at five."

"Okay! And now I'm nervous. I have to poop before my next class," Cloud realized with a grimace, and found himself forced to take off at a run towards the field port-a-potties to make it happen.

"RUN BITCH," she cackled through the bullhorn.

After his afternoon physical classes and before dreaded baseball, Cloud took a fast shower and changed back into his school uniform, and kind of marveled at how he could now perfectly slip on and knot a tie in less than eight seconds. Maybe it was army programming but he felt like it was the most respectful thing he could wear as a Cadet, and if the lab was going to take him seriously at all he needed to not look like a weirdo.

At five o'clock as promised, Rhonda was there by the school gates waiting for him. She was in the same yoga pants as earlier that morning, but it looked like she'd found time to wash her hair and change into a little side-tying, tunic sort of top and her lab coat. When it was down out of it's usual tight braids or ponytails and left to its own devices, Rhonda's hair was naturally wavy, almost beachy-looking.

"Hi!" Cloud greeted her when he approached her by the gates. "Your hair looks pretty like that."

"I don't give a shit," was her honest answer. She looked at her phone and began walking fast, "What are your goals today?"

"My goals..." Cloud swallowed and truly considered his answer while he trotted along beside her. "I'd like to see what Sephiroth sees when he talks to me about this stuff. I really don't think he's capable of telling me everything, all I know is just little bits and pieces. And even with those pieces, he's such a cynical fuck about it that it's hard to even understand."

"Everyone's a cynical fuck about their childhood. What are you even expecting him to do? Tell you the entire story of his life front to back? Do you even know what a typical day was like for him? Give him a fucking break, Cloud."

He let out a breath, "... I'm trying to. I just want to see things for myself. And I'd like to talk to the clone."

"Why do you want to talk to the clone? What are you hoping to get out of it?"

"Nothing exactly... he talked to me a little bit before he was taken. I'd just... I know if I was him, I'd want to know that someone was willing to make an effort for me. At least one person didn't think I was just some piece of shit that deserved to die."

"I dunno about all that, but if you can get him talking, that would be extremely beneficial to me."

"How?"

"Nobody sleeps until this clone's figured out. I got them to let me go home tonight because I have babies at home, but most of the people are just trapped there indefinitely. If you can open this clone's little fucking mouth and get him talking... you would make a lot of sleepy people very happy."

"... Rhonda?"

"Why are you slowly saying my name like that?" she asked irately. "If you have a question just ask."

"Why do you work at the lab?"

They paused at the traffic intersection that ran between the Academy and Headquarters. She pushed the crossing button and waited, considering that question, "Because I love it. Working with SOLDIERs, and Turks, and the army, and the kids at the Academy... it feels like what I do is important. I met my wife here, I was allowed to use the facilities to make our babies here, this is my life. I don't have to love what's been done to Sephiroth... but he's a smaller part of working in the lab than you think."

"What if it was Julie?" Cloud asked her. "And you felt like she could just be taken away any second. And there's this... fleet of people who treat you like shit and seem to enjoy doing what they do to her?"

"Nobody's torturing Sephiroth and getting off on it, and nobody's obligated to be nice to you. He was an experiment, a very successful one. Then he became a lab resident, and now he's... Sephiroth."

The light changed and they were able to walk, but Cloud asked her right in the middle of the intersection, "So he's not an experiment anymore?"

"What does he tell you?"

"Not much! That's why I'm doing this!"

"He's a person," she looked down at him as she walked. "If he's making it sound like they can just spirit him away and put a clone into his position anytime they want to, that's complete bullshit. They're probably just trying to scare him into showing up for his appointments. He's not going anywhere, get that out of your mind."

"What if he didn't want to be a General, anymore?" Cloud asked, thinking back to things Sephiroth had said before about never being able to retire. "Would he have to go back to the lab to live? Or would they kill him?"

"Of course not," was Rhonda's exhausted answer.

They approached the labs through an entrance that Cloud had never been to before, it was the employee entrance. Rhonda swiped a card, and then led Cloud into a little locker room where she put her purse away, "Wanna stash anything in here?"

"Am I allowed to bring anything in?" he wondered. He kind of didn't want to be without his phone. He also had some cigarettes he'd brought along impulsively, and his own keycard that was on a little zip line type lanyard attached to his shirt pocket.

"I have to say this because it's driving me crazy - your phone is sticking most of the way out of your back pocket and it looks like it's gonna fall out any second. It's been making me nervous the whole walk over here. Is that comfortable?"

Cloud's butt had decided to get a little bigger again, and these pants needed to go another size up. There wasn't much room for anything in his back pockets but ass, so he pulled his phone out and put it in his shirt pocket, along with his cigarettes and lighter, "Better?"

"Alright," she said and pulled out a well worn clipboard before closing the locker door. It was the kind that opened up, and she popped it open to store her access card inside, and then handed Cloud a little lollipop that was inside it.

Cloud smirked at it, unwrapped it and stuck it in his mouth. She quickly fixed her hair at the sink, stomping on Cloud's former compliment and twisting it up into a knot.

"We can go see the clone compound real quick. You'll get the picture pretty fast," she said, leading him back out of the locker room.

"The clone compound?" Cloud repeated in near disbelief. "How many are there?"

"A lot."

Cloud shook his head, "There's so much more that could be done with this kind of money - "

"Leave that bleeding heart, money could save the world bullshit outside. I don't want to hear it right now. You signed up for this army, too."

Cloud kept quiet while she led him into the lab.

On the way, a group of doctors were coming from the opposite direction. Cloud recognized them from when he'd spent time with Sephiroth during his recovery last year, and inwardly prayed that they'd just keep walking and not stop and –

"Hello," one of the doctors greeted. "I thought you were heading home tonight?"

Rhonda shrugged helplessly, "I'm giving an impromptu tour."

"A tour?" another, much greasier looking doctor asked. "To whom?"

"Cadet Cloud Strife," Rhonda introduced wearily.

"Hello Cadet," the greasy doctor greeted and extended a hand. "I'm Dr. Hojo. Pleasure to make your acquaintance."

Cloud looked at it distrustfully, only because he knew people from Midgar never shook hands, and often made fun of him for trying. But it was being offered, so he reached out and shook it, "Hello. Nice to meet you."

"What kind of tour are we on this evening?"

Cloud looked at Rhonda, and realized she was going to let him speak, "Well... I have a lot of questions, so I asked Rhonda to show me some things. And if I can, I'd like to try talking to the clone that was brought in the other night."

"That sounds like fun," Hojo said, smiling at some of the other doctors. "We were just ending our day. May I come along with you and help guide the tour? It's not often I'm able to give a tour like this. I'd quite assumed you'd want to come a little sooner, all things considered."

This suddenly felt a lot less casual, and Cloud began inwardly screaming, "I always kind of wanted to, but I didn't really feel like I was supposed to."

"Why not?" Hojo asked.

Cloud actually thought about that, and realized he didn't know. He gave the doctor a shrug, "It just seems like the medical lab is Sephiroth's personal business. I feel like I'm prying even being here."

Rhonda crossed her arms, "You're a member of the Shin-Ra army, and you've been dating Sephiroth for over a year. You have every right to come here if you're not feeling well or if you're just curious. You don't need me as a chaperone either, nothing in the lab's gonna hurt you."

"Seph kind of makes it sound like you might... kidnap me and experiment on me for years and keep me in a tube until I'm an unrecognizable shell of my former self."

Rhonda, Dr. Hojo and the other doctors all laughed for an uncomfortable amount of time. His laugh was very high pitched and wheezy, and hers was deep and resonating. Maybe they both hadn't slept in a while, but the longer they laughed the more it seemed like they weren't really laughing at what he'd suggested, and maybe just the misstep of actually suggesting torture meant they were about to literally do just that!

"You are so into yourself!" Rhonda finally was able to say, poking a hole in Cloud's mounting theory. "You think you're so fascinating that we'd kidnap you? You've seen his charts, right?"

"Yes, I've seen them," Hojo chuckled and wiped his eye.

Cloud stance widened, "Whatever! Give me the tour!"

"Alright. Whoever wants to call it a day, please feel free. Or if you'd like to help give a tour to our curious young friend, follow along," Hojo started limping. Two of the doctors apologetically left, and four others followed behind them, maybe just to see what would happen.

Rhonda and Cloud had to walk markedly slower to allow Hojo to lead them anywhere. He looked at Cloud, "Do you miss Nibelheim?"

His eyes brightened, "Sometimes, a little bit! How'd you guess? Most people from Midgar think I'm from Bone City for some reason. Maybe the accent sounds the same."

"It kind of does," Rhonda confirmed.

"Similar perhaps, but Nibelheim is unmistakable. I work there any chance I get."

"Why?" Cloud had to ask with a laugh.

"The women are enchanting."

Cloud nearly swallowed his tongue.

Rhonda coughed out a laugh, "Doctor!"

Hojo enjoyed the effect of his honesty, and then added, "The Nibelheim reactor is the location of my favorite and most important research facility. Very private. Something about the elevation, too... just makes me feel good to be there."

"Unless it's winter!" Cloud snorted.

"Especially if it's winter."

"But the sun doesn't even rise, I hate it! I didn't even know you could have the sun in the wintertime until I came here."

"It's good to have a break from the sun every so often," Hojo said, slowly leading them all deeper into the lab.

They eventually arrived at the clone compound, and Cloud looked in fascination through a one-way mirror at dozens of males of different ages living together in one huge, fluorescent lit room. There was a television, some bunk beds, a row of toilets on one wall, but not much else. They were all wearing green hospital scrubs, if they chose to be clothed at all.

Some were in bed sleeping or staring at the ceiling, some were gathered around a television and watching commercials vacantly. Some were lying on the ground, tearing pages out of books and magazines. One was collecting the torn pages and putting them in his mouth. One of the older ones was having a train run on him, and a line of other adults were masturbating while waiting their turn. He didn't appear to be unwilling, but there certainly wasn't any passion in it on either end of the experience. A lot of them were just walking in circles, one shoulder touching the wall as they made their way around the perimeter of the huge room. A small one was in the middle of the floor, and was clearly dead. The others were giving the dead body a wide berth.

There was a long silence as Cloud stared at them, "... He grew up like this?"

"No," Rhonda told firmly. "He was alone. We didn't start these cloning experiments until he left the lab. He was... what? Seventeen, eighteen?"

"Right around there," Hojo said. "He's the one and only original. These are just the more recent failures."

Cloud expected clones to be identical, but would have never, ever mistaken any of these people for Sephiroth. A few of them kind of looked like him, maybe very distant relatives. Most of them had dark hair, but some had silver growing from the roots.

The longer Cloud looked, the more he didn't understand what the fuck he was looking at.

"Why are there kids and adults?" Cloud finally asked. "Some of them are way older than Sephiroth. If you didn't start doing this until he left, shouldn't they all be like, five-years-old?"

Hojo laughed, "It's not at all cost or time effective to raise infants here, we'll never make that mistake again. These are hosts."

"What does that mean?"

"It's not like animal cloning," Rhonda tried to explain as nicely as possible. "These people weren't born in the lab, they've undergone a process to become clones on a genetic level. Their DNA's been changed."

What Zack had told him the other night and what Sephiroth sometimes darkly alluded to was beginning to make sense. They wanted to make SOLDIERs into clones of Sephiroth, and for some reason Cloud had imagined a nursery of some kind where exact replicas would be farmed. But successful clones wouldn't be born in the lab like Sephiroth was, they would be regular guys that enlisted in the army. New SOLDIER recruits... just like Cloud wanted to be.

Cloud looked at the kids in the room that were watching television and seemingly immune to the chaotic and grotesque things that were happening on the periphery, "... Who are they?"

"Volunteers," Hojo answered. "They and their families have been compensated for their participation."

"But what happens to them now? Can you change them back?"

"No," Rhonda told him in a gentle murmur.

Hojo hummed, "Genetic alterations are rather permanent. Their sacrifice won't be soon forgotten, and they won't suffer long. They'll be painlessly gassed, and we'll take everything they've taught us and try again."

Their small group stood there for a few minutes, watching them.

Cloud had been searching the room, but couldn't find the one he'd seen two nights prior. He might have been hiding, so he asked, "Is the one that was at Sephiroth's apartment in there?"

Hojo let out a baffled sound, "No, they wouldn't leave him be. Sometimes the different batches don't get along, but I've never seen them reject one of their own before."

"He's in his own room now," Rhonda assured him.

Cloud swallowed, "Did they hurt him?"

"Yes," Hojo said. Rhonda didn't add anything more to that answer. "Do you want to interact with them?"

Cloud couldn't have possibly understood any of this without seeing it with his own eyes. These people had been damaged beyond all recovery. It was a complete waste of life, and more evil than Cloud's mind could even comprehend. There wasn't even a scale to measure this kind of evil.

And to 'test them out', they made Sephiroth kill them. He now understood why that wasn't really as bad as it sounded. Sephiroth probably – no, definitely felt like he was doing these people a favor.

Cloud finally got it.

"No thanks. I'm done..." he decided, turning away from the window. "Can we see him now?"

"Even you can tell he's special, isn't he?" Hojo asked, looking at Cloud curiously. "Why is that?"

Cloud was rubbing his hands over his face, something about this entire thing had him feeling itchy, "How am I supposed to know?"

"Something had to prompt you to come here. What was it?"

Cloud shrugged helplessly, "I don't know! But what I saw the other night... it was almost like I was talking to a little Sephiroth. He talked to me like he knew me. He looks just like him. I thought it even could have been his son or something. I just... I would never think that of any of those poor people."

They left the compound, and the farther away they got from it the more Cloud's dread redistributed in his body. It was like this place was some kind of haunted house, there was no telling what kind of horror he was being taken to. Sephiroth said Vincent had often come to visit and had discovered him in unsettling ways; his teeth all pulled out or bones broken or his head shaved or having been denied hygiene or food or sleep because the lab didn't have the first fucking clue how to discipline the angry feline in Sephiroth.

The lab had had three whole days to come up with some kind of torture for the newcomer, especially if he wouldn't talk, and Cloud didn't trust that Rhonda would properly prepare him for whatever he was about to walk into.

Hojo pushed in the code for the door to open into a small room, and it seemed to be free of any obvious mistreatment. All that was in the room was a child-size bed and some monitoring equipment. There was a little body curled up on the bed, but his back was to the door and the blanket was pulled up over his head.

"Maybe we shouldn't bother him," Cloud whispered.

Rhonda sighed, "We can come back tomorrow."

"But what if Sephiroth gets to him?"

The clone sat up and he yanked the blanket off his head, "Cloud?"

"Hello..." Cloud said carefully, not knowing what to call him.

His eyes shifted to Hojo, Rhonda, then back to Cloud, "... What's goin' on?"

"Speak to him," Hojo urged Cloud quietly.

Cloud took a couple of steps into the room, which was all it really took to be right beside the little boy's bed. He knelt down carefully, "I asked them to bring me here."

"Seriously!? Thank you! Do it, I'm ready. No wait, lemme say something! Cloud, you're literally the best thing that has ever happened to me, even in this fucked up life you're just... you're the best. I love you, and I just hope I make you happy as long as I live..." the clone went up onto his knees and closed his eyes. He let out a long breath, "Okay. Now I'm ready."

"For what?"

The clone looked Cloud hopefully, and he put his fingers to his temple and pulled an imaginary trigger.

Cloud's stomach twisted and he stood up, "I'm not here to kill you!"

"Why not? What the fuck are you doin' here, then?"

"I-I don't know!"

"Are you kiddin' me, Cloud?" The little boy fell back with an exhausted groan, "Just get out!"

Cloud sat down on the little bed, then reached out tentatively and put his hand over the little boy's, "Why didn't you just say something to me at the apartment? It didn't have to be like that. You could have tried to talk to me."

The clone froze, looking down at where Cloud's giant hand engulfed his. He didn't want to cry, but it just came really easily to this little body. He felt huge tears roll down his cheeks and looked up at ginormous Cloud who was a fully grown, strong adult man to his six-year-old eyes, "... I didn't know what to do. I thought about killin' you, I almost tried it but I couldn't... then I thought about killin' myself, and I couldn't do that either. I really just wanted to kill Sephiroth!"

"Why?"

"Because he's gonna kill me! I know it because that's what I'd do! Why won't you do it? If anyone was gonna kill me I'd rather you do it! Can't you just do this one thing for me?"

Cloud felt a tear roll down his own cheek, and glanced up at the ceiling as he wiped it away, "Can I just... give you a hug?"

"Why would you want to!?" the clone asked, but threw his arms around Cloud's neck anyway.

Cloud scooped him up, "Where did you come from?"

"I dunno! I just randomly woke up at the bottom of the Northern Crater!" the clone wailed against Cloud's shoulder. "And I didn't know what to do! Jenova was talkin' to me and sayin' a bunch of crazy shit and I didn't know what to do! I just wanted to go home!"

"It's okay," Cloud said to him.

"No it's not! I'm so tired, Cloud! I can't sleep! Nobody will leave me alone! I just wanna die! I know someone's gonna kill me soon, why can't it be you!?"

"I'm not gonna let anything bad happen to you," Cloud told him, and he fucking meant it.

"Cadet," came a whisper.

Cloud looked up to where Hojo was mouthing something that Cloud didn't understand. He squinted at the doctor and read his lips, Jenova.

The little clone was sobbing against his shoulder, and it literally felt like Cloud's heart was breaking inside his chest. He rubbed the back of the child's head, and let out a shaky breath, "... What did Jenova say to you?"

"I was in some guy's house and he was dead and I had to -" the clone began a story about dismembering that random dude. Eventually he stopped crying and curled up in Cloud's lap, who enveloped him in his arms and listened to what he had to say.

Their small group, plus many more were gathered at the doorway. This clone had barely said a word thus far, and now he was giving them everything. Cloud was the clone whisperer.

The clone talked for a long time, and kept remembering more and going back further in his story until he was left at the bottom of the Northern Crater. Once every word of his story was out, he fell asleep against Cloud. He knew it was time to leave, but didn't know how to disentangle from the child clinging to him. The clone's little fingers were even wrapped around his tie.

Cloud just did it quickly like ripping off a band aid, and laid him on the bed. The exhausted kid didn't wake up, he just turned onto his side and slept deeper as Cloud pulled the blanket up over his shoulder. It was the same paper thin, stupid, useless kind of blanket they had on Sephiroth's bed while he was sick last year. It was like these people hated comfort of any kind.

He walked out of the room and closed the door behind himself, "Can you show me the way outside please?"

"C'mon," Rhonda said.

The doctors followed them to the nearest exit, which led onto a patio break area for lab workers that overlooking some tranquil little artificial lake, and wooden picnic benches were arranged all around it. There was this trickling sound that made some people relax, but it really just made him want to piss in their serene little lake. Cloud moped around the whole place in a wide circle before sitting down at one of the tables.

They all watched him light up a cigarette. They were trying to talk to him, but he got up and wandered away from everybody and looked at his phone. It was seven in the evening and she'd be home from work by now, so he sat on the table of a bench and called his mom.

"Hey sweetie, you have a good weekend?" April chirped, clearly in a good mood.

"Mom..."

The tone of his voice already had her on alert, "What? What's happened? What's wrong?"

"I'm fine."

"No you're not."

"I need to help somebody and I don't know how."

"Help who? What are you talking about?"

Cloud began recounting the past three days, and before he even got to the point of his story where he told her about clones, April was already in the car on the way to Midgar. She was going to get her son and bring his ass back to Junon with her.

That was her constant reply every time there was a break in the story, "I'm coming to get you."

"I'm not going anywhere," Cloud kept insisting.

"We'll see. I'm so fucking sick of this Shin-Ra shit."

After an hour of crying and smoking four more cigarettes, Cloud hung up with her. He put his head in his hands, then felt someone sit at the bench next to him. He peeked through his fingers and was very relieved to see Rhonda, but not by much, "... I don't know what to do. What do I do?"

"You're not in a position to do anything."

Cloud lit up another cigarette, "Do you have Vincent Valentine's phone number?"

"What are you gonna say to him?"

"Whatever fucking comes to mind!"

"Hey!" she barked, staring Cloud down. "You are not gonna forget who the fuck you are, and who the fuck I am. I did you a personal favor today, but I'm not gonna take your shit."

"I need to talk to someone who knows how I feel right now."

"I know how you feel," she insisted. "Talk to me."

"I don't think you do... Vincent left a baby here. How am I supposed to leave that little boy here to die? Sephiroth's coming to kill him. Should I really just kill him myself and get it over with nicely?"

"We're still here," one of the doctors pointed out.

Cloud peered over his shoulder. At the the next table there were literally eight dudes in lab coats looking at him. He turned back around and looked at Rhonda and whispered desperately, "Please help me."

After a couple texts from Julie, who was pissed that Rhoda wasn't on her way home and had become embroiled in yet more lab drama, they had Vincent Valentine's phone number. Cell phone etiquette dictated that Cloud should text first, but he wasn't feeling very polite and just fucking called.

The man actually picked up too, "Val-"

"Vincent, it's Cloud Strife, Sephiroth's boyfriend, I don't know if you remember me but I need your help. Can I please see you? I need to talk to you. Where are you?"

"... Huh?"

The way he said it, if Cloud didn't know any better he would have thought it was Sephiroth on the other end of this phone call. It was like he had large, medium and small versions of the same fucking person in his life, "Are you in Midgar right now? Can you come to the medical lab?"

"Wh... yeah I guess. Huh?"

Rhonda pulled the phone from Cloud, "Vincent, it's Rhonda. Sephiroth's fine, he's not here. Nothing. No. He's having a meltdown over clones, and he'd like to talk to you from the perspective of a parental figure. Okay. Thank you."

Cloud took his phone back, seeing that Vincent already hung up. He glanced up at her, "He's coming?"

"You've got the Director of the fucking Turks on his way. He said he'd be here in twenty minutes. I've never seen anything like this!"

"Well why not!?" Cloud roared, accidentally blowing his lighter out as he tried to light another cigarette. "Maybe it's time somebody did do something like this! Why doesn't anyone fucking talk around here?"

"We're too tired," was Rhoda's only excuse. "Julie wants to kill me."

"This is kind of fun," one of the doctors said, wide awake and clearly starved for drama.

"Anyone want some dinner?" another doctor asked. "It's getting to be that time."

"I'm sorry about Julie, I know you want to go home... but please don't leave yet," Cloud murmured to Rhonda.

She smiled then, and reached out to take his hand and brush her thumb over his scabby Cadet knuckles, "I won't."

Vincent showed up a few minutes later, and sat next to Rhonda, "Hey beautiful."

"Hey. Sorry to drag you over here."

"Nothin' goin' on today, anyway," he then glanced at Cloud. "So you found out about the clones?"

"It had to happen eventually," Cloud said glumly. "... I don't know what I'm supposed to do with this, Vincent."

"There's nothin' you can do."

Cloud rested his cheek on his hand and narrowed his eyes at him, "Yes there is."

"Awright," Vincent invited.

The more hysterical reaction to the afternoon's events had burned off, and now he was angry. He wasn't afraid of Vincent, Rhonda, or the labs anymore, so he just said what was on his mind, "I'm going to bounce some ideas off of you guys, and just tell me what you think."

Cloud was running out of cigarettes. He was a very casual smoker and a pack usually lasted him a couple weeks, but he was on his last one. He lit it anyway, "First idea. This place... is a fucking human rights violations graveyard – "

"Welcome to Shin-Ra," Rhonda told him.

"That is what I cannot stand! I cannot listen to that cynical, Midgar, jaded ass attitude right now – I hear it enough from Seph in place of actual communication and it drives me fucking crazy. I'm sorry I'm talking to you like this because I do respect you, but goddamnit!" Cloud turned to Vincent when Rhonda's expression darkened even further. "Somebody in the world has to care about these people more than money. We call the military police, the civilian police, fucking anybody to come in here and help these people and stop this. Somebody. Oprah. Anybody."

"You think Oprah's gonna live without electricity?" was Vincent's response. "What else ya got?"

Cloud exhaled smoke, "... Second idea. I drop out of school, kidnap that kid, and figure out a way to fake Sephiroth's death. We'll run away, assume new identities, and raise him together and just be a happy family. We don't need electricity, half my childhood I spent using a generator. Seph'll get used to it and – "

"Excuse me," Dr. Hojo interjected from the next table. "I'm afraid Sephiroth and the clone require specialized care that you couldn't provide in a civilian capacity. The child would die within two months, and Sephiroth would be dead within five. And if their bodies aren't properly burned at the correct temperature, they'd pollute the ground or water that you dispose of them in for next ten thousand years."

"The half-life of mako is fourteen thousand years," Cloud said, flicking his cigarette. He remembered because half of Sephiroth's cock was four and a half inches, and it was an easy way to remember that little factoid for his mako science finals last year. And apparently for correcting Doctor fucking Hojo in his own lab.

He didn't look too put out by the correction since Cloud was making his point for him, "So you see the flaws in this plan."

Cloud was looking at him over his shoulder, "Does this conversation bother you?"

"Not in the slightest."

Cloud took another puff of his cigarette and looked at Vincent and Rhonda, "I'm gonna be murdered aren't I?"

Vincent was smiling at him, "Nothin's gonna happen to you, kid. What's the next plan?"

"What's a normal prison sentence for murder in Midgar?" Cloud asked.

"We're big on the death penalty," one of the doctors said.

"You don't put kids to death in Midgar," Cloud said over his shoulder.

Vincent frowned in thought, "I wouldn't put it past 'em."

"What's a normal sentence for a juvenile who's guilty of murder under the age of twelve?"

Rhonda was Googling it on her phone and skimming the most popular answer, "... It doesn't account for being that young, but for a juvenile not being tried as an adult – 'pending psychological evaluation, the child would typically be sentenced to no less than twenty years, but not more than thirty years.'"

Cloud's last cigarette was already just a butt, and he tossed it in the ash tray at the center of the table, "Vincent, can I have a cigarette?"

He pulled one out for himself with his teeth before putting the pack on the table near Cloud.

Cloud was relieved to see that Vincent had a mostly full pack, so he helped himself to one and lit it, "... Okay. He's committed murder, and he should be put on military trial for it and punished accordingly. That's the sane, normal, right thing to do so I know you people won't want to consider that, but that's my last idea. People lost family members, they want justice and they should have it, but that doesn't mean death for a kid his age. I say gas the clone compound as soon as possible and pump the brakes on making new ones. Turn the compound into a holding center and make him do his time. He needs care, and therapy, and he's clearly got something to offer that the other clones don't have. Just focus on this clone and find out what the fuck happened at the Northern Crater – Oh!" Cloud turned around to look at Hojo, "There's that whole new facility up there! If you liked the privacy at Nibelheim you'd love it up there!" he turned back around, more and more animated about this idea, "And this clone will have all of us to be there for him, it won't be like when Seph was little and all alone. Sorry Vincent, don't take that personally... you did your best."

Vincent lifted his eyebrows, "It's alright."

"Let's say he gets a real trial using a military court, and he's sentenced to twenty-five years," Cloud took another puff in thought. "In twenty-five years... Seph's gonnna be forty-eight-years-old. Maybe the clone, if rehabilitated properly and not tortured into a pile of mush... maybe he could become a General, and Seph will be able to actually retire like a normal person. It might not be a whole army of Sephiroths, but maybe you just need one good clone to get like sixty solid years of a Sephiroth-led army. That's a lot of time to figure things out, and you won't have to keep making whatever the fuck those other clones are."

Cloud's phone started buzzing around on the table, and he picked it up, "Mom? How are you already here? Jesus Christ how fast did you - okay I'll come out to the garage and find you. No I'm not – no! I'm not going anywhere, you're coming in here," he put his phone against his shoulder and whispered, "It's okay if my mom comes in here, right?"

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

There was a knock on the door, and Gina got up to answer it. The girl from the front desk was there looking confused, "Did you order lunch this early?"

"Yeah, I was hungry," she then gave Sephiroth a smile. "I'll be right back."

Sephiroth was left alone, and hesitantly picked up his phone.

Cloud had texted him again a little while after he sent the selfie, I love you.

Sephiroth ran his thumb over those words. He was feeling raw, and his voice almost hurt from how much and fast he'd talked in the last few minutes. He could talk all day to Cloud with no problem, but for some reason talking about shit like this to a stranger made his throat hurt.

Before he could think too much about it he texted back, i love you too

Cloud's reply was fast, how is everything? is she nice? Are you still there?

He answered, yeah she's nice. its ok. i'l be here a while.

She came back into the room with two bags, and the heavenly smell that came in with her made him shove his phone back in his pocket.

"Jesus Christ, is that what split pea soup smells like? Why does it smell that good?" Sephiroth wondered as his hunger took on an angry edge. He took his bag and dug through it. Even the sandwiches looked amazing; just the sound of a turkey sandwich was a terrible turn off but as he bit into one, it was exactly what he needed.

"I can't promise to fix your life, but I promise I'd never let you eat something bad," she said. As he began to eat, she urged him, "You can talk with your mouth full, I don't mind. So April is Cloud's mom?"

"Mm-hm," he nodded, and was busy chewing and swallowing for a few moments. "... She's like Cloud, they're normal people, they're not apart of this and they don't have to be, at all. Cloud could do anything he wanted with his life. Why would he even wanna get into this shit?"

It was pretty glaringly obvious to her why, and she counted it at least five times in the text messages she'd read. That was Sephiroth's realization to make, so she just shrugged, "What happened when his mom got there?"

"I'm not totally sure about that part. I guess they went and met the clone, they all fuckin' fell in love with him, then they smoked a bunch more cigarettes and made a lot of really fuckin' stupid decisions."

"You think they're going to go along with that last plan Cloud came up with?"

"They're thinkin' about it. They told us in two weeks they're gonna call some kind of meeting, and anyone who gives a shit can show up."

"Are you planning on going to that meeting?"

"I dunno."

"Does the clone have a name?" she then asked.

"I dunno. No."

"What would you name him?"

"I wouldn't."

She made a thoughtful noise as she took a bite of her sandwich. After chewing for a few moments, she waited until Sephiroth took a drink of his soda before asking, "So where do you think the anger reaction is coming in?"

"... If I'd never shown up last night and they just told me all this happened, I dunno if I would be angry at all. But I caught them all there and like... it turned into... they all hate me."

"Cloud does not hate you," she told him with certainty.

"No, not him. But the rest of them do."

"What happened?"

"When I showed up they were all eatin' Burger King," Sephiroth said, burping a little from the soda and eating too fast. "... Like it was totally normal, like they were all best friends and did this all the time. It was the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my life, I wouldn't even dream somethin' that fuckin' weird."

"Then what?"

"I lost my shit."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Cloud? What the fuck is goin' on here?"

"Seph..." Cloud brushed the fast food salt off his hands and stood up. "We need to talk. A lot's happened today."

Sephiroth's expression was thunderous rage, but what came out of his mouth was, "... 'Kay."

Maybe in an attempt at levity, Cloud gave him a wide grin, "Before I start, I would like to remind you that you said there's nothing that I could do that would make you mad enough to stop loving me!..."

Sephiroth felt like his entire body was sinking into the floor, "What did you do?"

"I fixed everything."

In the following ten seconds, a lot of things happened all at once.

Sephiroth marched in, stepped right on a cheeseburger and picked up the clone by the throat – the kid had a lot in his mouth so he immediately started to choke – April and Cloud both screamed in the exact same tenor – Vincent took out a glock and shot at the ceiling, fully expecting it to be a show stopping moment but it wasn't – Rhonda threw her salad and it hit the wall like a sloppy green firework while she ran outside the room and started fumbling with a medical kit – everyone went deaf for a moment from Vincent's decision to fire a gun in such a tiny room – and the lab tech Kyle ran full speed out of the room.

Hojo was the only one who didn't react at all.

But the most critical thing that happened in those ten seconds couldn't be seen.

From fist to neck, Sephiroth and the clone touched each other's skin. And when they did, their experiences in the time they'd been living in separate bodies instantly synced. From the time the clone left Sephiroth's mouth in a wad of chewing gum, they became keenly aware of what the other had been doing, thinking, feeling. Sephiroth's life in his blissful, willful ignorance that something was happening, that something was very wrong. The clone in all of his murderous desperation, then suicidal turmoil at being recaptured and facing another upbringing in the lab. They traded all of it, and their experiences became one.

Sephiroth was then aware of the framework for the plans that Hojo, Rhonda, Vincent, Cloud and April had made. They needed Cloud who could butter up a rebellious clone so well, so they were pulling Cloud and April in deeper into the Shin-Ra life. They already had him with dreams of becoming a SOLDIER, now they were reeling in April.

April hadn't agreed yet, but had been propositioned to move to Midgar from Junon. The clone knew everything Sephiroth knew, which amounted to a very rudimentary high school education that had been tailored towards tactical thinking. But his child-mind was forgetting things fast. If he was going to be imprisoned, he needed mental stimulation, and April had come to the right place at the right time. She'd intended to pull her son out of Midgar, but instead wound up with an impromptu offer of the sweetest, easiest teaching gig that a kindergarten-to-third grade teacher from Nibelheim could possibly dream of. She could posture needing to think it over, but she would not turn down the chance to be closer to her son.

This all happened in like an hour. In one hour, this random fucking clone was getting handed the childhood that Sephiroth didn't even dare to dream of.

Sephiroth dropped the kid to the floor, and for an agonizing heartbeat he wasn't sure which one of them he was. He could have been either one, and that reality made him absolutely sick. He could see the little kid getting his bearings back, too. After a few heartbeats it was obvious who he was, this wasn't some Freaky Friday shit where they switched bodies, thank God.

"You fuck," was all he could say to the child when he realized with deep relief that he was tall, he was grown, he was Sephiroth.

The kid managed a shaky smile up at him, "Eat shit."

He kicked the clone at that point, and his little body went flying and shattered part of the wall. The kid stood up, too high on whatever strange surge of energy he'd taken from Sephiroth to worry about any injuries, and ran at him with gleeful abandon.

Fighting someone who barely came up to your knees was a lot harder than it sounded. Sephiroth felt really sorry for laughing at the people in Chucky movies who struggled to defend themselves against a doll, especially when he was terrified of actually touching his skin. He kicked him again pretty good though, and his little body shattered another part of the wall.

"Sephiroth, wait!" someone said, they didn't have a Nibelheim accent so it was probably Rhonda.

Then someone who did have a Nibelheim accent said, "Hang on a second, Seph!" but they were so shrill it was unclear whether it was Cloud or April.

Vincent was brave enough to grab Sephiroth, and locked both arms around him tight, "Hang on, kid. Just hang on. Everything's okay."

Sephiroth tore away from Vincent and stormed out into the hallway and began pacing like an animal, so enraged his breath came in hard gasps. But he was also well aware he was in front of Cloud and April, and it was like a muzzle. He had the clone's fresh memories of crying to Cloud and being held by him, they thought he was a real kid. They were all being absolutely taken advantage of, and they wouldn't understand and wouldn't be able to unsee him murdering this little piece of shit right in front of their eyes.

Why did he have to go down into the Northern Crater? Why couldn't he have been the one to discover the clone in his apartment and dealt with him the right way, and all of this could just continue being unspoken. Why did Cloud and April of all fucking people have to get involved in this?

Frustration poured out of Sephiroth in waves of heat, and he couldn't even form words.

"Seph?" Rhonda said, right behind him.

"No!" Cloud shouted from the doorway of the clone's room. "Don't do that to him!"

It was too late, Rhonda had already shoved a needle in the back of Sephiroth's arm, and he immediately stumbled down onto a knee. It had been quite a while, but he remembered the feeling of these particular drugs. It seemed so counter-intuitive that these people would design him to be a perfect war machine but still get so bent out of shape and drug him back into submission whenever he actually behaved like one.

But the interesting thing about this sedative was that it always offered a moment of mental clarity, like his rage was a storm and the calm eye finally came over him to offer him some sort of sage-like insight.

Parents always fuck up on their first kid, he thought to himself extremely calmly. Now they can all do it over again and get it right this time.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Cloud was saying, doing his best to become a human crash pad for Sephiroth as he slumped to the floor. He was able to catch most of his upper body in his lap and cradled his head in both arms carefully, "I'm sorry, Seph. Don't worry."

"Don't worry," Sephiroth repeated with a sarcastic slur as his eyes fell shut.

Cloud shot a glare at Rhonda, "You didn't have to do that to him!"

"Disagree," the clone coughed from his doorway.

"Shut up!" Cloud told him, and pushed Sephiroth's hair out of his face to ensure he could breathe. "How long is he going to be out for?"

Rhonda was on a nearby wall phone calling for some big medic dudes to come carry Sephiroth somewhere comfortable. She hung up and sighed at Cloud, "Half an hour at most, so cut the drama if you're at all capable."

"I'm not!" Cloud declared.

"He's really not," April confirmed.

"Shut up mom! Speeding all the way over here wasn't dramatic!?"

"Maybe slightly," she conceded, and rediscovered a cigarette she'd unconsciously lit during all of this.

Cloud was breathing hard and trying not to cry, "This is normal to you, isn't it!? You fucking drug him instead of talking to him! What is it with you people?"

Vincent was fully aware that he was being grouped in with 'you people', but he went on one knee next to Sephiroth, "They had to do this all the time. He gets loud and breaks shit."

"I can see why! Why didn't you ever just listen to him!? Why didn't you just give him a chance to talk!? He wasn't going to actually hurt anybody! He could have if he wanted to, he didn't!"

"Disagree!" the clone called out again bitterly, rubbing his shoulder and clearly put out at no longer being the center of attention.

"Shut up!" Cloud and Vincent both said to him. The medics arrived with a gurney, and Cloud helped them lift Sephiroth up onto it, and followed them down the hallway.

"He stepped on my burger," the clone complained to April.

"I raised Cloud. You're not nearly cute enough to get my pity," she said to him, fully in mother mode and making quick work of cleaning up the fast food mess in the small room. Some of the plaster from the shattered wall had fallen onto the clone's bed, but she was able to easily shake out the blankets before she pointing at it, "Get in."

"Are you kiddin'? I'm not tired, I almost just got killed – "

"Right now!"

It suddenly didn't matter if he was tired, and the little kid quickly got into bed.

She pulled the blanket up to his chin, "I know exactly what you are."

"... You do?" he asked with genuine surprise, and hoped for a little insight for himself.

"You're a trouble maker."

"I didn't ask to exist," he answered petulantly.

"Nobody does. Go to sleep," she said to him, and picked up the fast food garbage bag and shut off the light on her way out.

Vincent was standing in the hall, "... He's not really a kid, y'know."

She glared up at him, "Every person I've dealt with from Shin-Ra is a little kid. I'm the only grown up here."

When Sephiroth woke up he was no calmer than when he'd been sedated, but one thing was for damn sure – he did not tell anyone what happened when he touched the clone. The next several hours were muddy and difficult in Sephiroth's mind because he wasn't really listening to anything that was being said, more like waiting to say his own shit. And so playing dumb, he allowed them all to tell him their individual versions of the evening's events.

Over the next few hours, the recovery room filled with people and smoke.

Cloud did a lot of talking, and while he was honest and truthful and speaking from the heart, Sephiroth wanted to fucking strangle him. The discussion kept going back to the argument they'd had at the hotel. It was emotional and stupid and humiliating to fight like this in front of Rhonda, April, Vincent and for the love of god, Dr. Hojo, but it was happening.

"I need to say something to you two," April finally interjected. "Grandma said this to me when I was Cloud's age... now I'm gonna say it to you guys. I know Sephiroth is your first love, and I know Cloud is your first love, too. And I know it feels like you're the first people to ever be in love, but -"

"Please shut up!" Cloud all but howled at her. "Can you just shut up please?"

"I don't give a shit if you don't want to hear this. I'm telling you both that love, in the long run... never works out. Even in perfect conditions, it just doesn't work. I don't even think humans are supposed to be in love, we're all just fucking animals, I promise you. In a year, or two years, do you really want to be dealing with this?"

"You're the one who told me that when I find love, I should do anything I can to hold onto it!"

"Yeah, because men cheat and lie, and a lot of them are fucking deadbeats who don't wanna work! And if you're gay and dating men, you have to deal with that – that's what I was talking about! Forgiving and working through normal boyfriend shit. Clow, this is not normal boyfriend shit, can't you see that? This is insane!"

Cloud began to cry. He'd been fighting it for hours, but he literally couldn't hold tearful sobbing back any longer.

Vincent cleared his throat and looked at April, "I'm gonna have to disagree with you there, mom."

"What the fuck are you about to say?" Sephiroth asked in mild horror.

Vincent exhaled some smoke, "I was way younger than Sephiroth when I fell in love with his mom. It's been twenty-three years and I'm still not over that damn woman."

"Sounds like it really worked out for you," April laughed, coughing a bit around her latest cigarette. Even for her, they were all smoking a whole hell of a lot this night.

Sephiroth's throat was so dry, and all the people chain smoking around him wasn't helping, "Why can't we talk about what's actually goin' on? What does me an' him and our relationship have to do with this clone?"

Vincent ignored that question and kept speaking to April, "You're right, it didn't work out. She died. But I'm sayin', when it's the real deal, love doesn't go anywhere. And you wanna do whatever you can for it. I don't think it's fair to put pressure on them to make any decisions about their relationship tonight."

April ignored him and was speaking to Sephiroth now, "I'm not saying this to hurt you, I'm trying to prepare you - all this is not going to end the way you hope it will. Trust me, I've dated a lot of guys... and so will you. You're both young, and you're both so handsome, and you're surrounded by men... you're both just really stuck on each other. Seph, you're a little older. I know he's your first but you might just have to be the one to do the right thing and put an end to it."

Cloud let out a choking noise, "Shut up mom!"

"You shut up, we're talkin'!" Sephiroth barked at him, "What the fuck do you know about any of this, April? Why are you even here?"

"I'm his mother, I've been there for him way before you came along, and I'll be here way after you're gone. Cloud is seventeen-years-old, in love with you and stupid. He cannot handle this on his own, I'm sure as fuck not letting him deal with any more of your crazy bullshit by himself!"

"I would love for him to not deal with this, ever! I've done and said everything I can think to make him – "

April was easily louder than he was, "This kid is out of his depth and you know it! Cloud's gonna resent you sooner or later for all this, and the harder you try to cover shit up and fix things the faster the time's gonna run out on this! Stop being a stupid, selfish little boy! Do the right thing and get Cloud out of here."

"Pardon me everyone," Dr. Hojo said, standing up. Everyone held their breath. Hojo didn't say anything though, he left the room, "Nature calls."

Everyone in the room unclenched in relief.

Rhonda was wearing sunglasses and listening to all this with a very rare cigarette between her fingers. She raised her hand and used an outside voice, "Permission to speak?"

"Please do," Vincent invited.

"Lady, I don't think you'd be acting this way if we were talking about a straight couple."

"Oh bullshit," April spat.

Rhonda kept going, "I dunno what kind of soap opera your love life's been but I'm a later in life lesbian. I'm literally married to the first girl I ever dated, because she was just... everything I was ever looking for. Just because they're young, gay, and 'surrounded by other guys' does not mean that they can't be happy together, or that they need to try on different people."

"Only lesbians are allowed to give me advice," Sephiroth declared.

"I wasn't sayin' you should break up," Vincent tried to defend himself.

"Yeah but kind for the wrong reason? I mean you have a sad, unrequited death vibe and that's not exactly my point," Rhonda said, then looked at April, "Gay people do get married. Gay people do get happy endings. We do get to have families – "

Sephiroth let out a groan of frustration, "Am I fuckin' crazy? I still don't know why we're talkin' about our love life, we're here because you think this clone deserves – "

"Shut the fuck up, Sephiroth," April then laughed a little. "Rewind. Why is she talking about gay marriage?"

Cloud sent an alarmed look to Sephiroth, "... I didn't tell her anything."

"Me either," Sephiroth mouthed back to him.

April stood up, "Did you two fucking get married!?"

Cloud nearly choked, "No! Of course not! We just talked about it, like as a someday thing!"

"Real cute, Sephiroth!" she hissed at him and pointed at Hojo who had just returned from the men's room. "This fucking asshole stitched you together using god knows what kind of DNA and you're spending your time filling up my kid's head with empty fucking promises about getting married someday? How many years have you really got, are you even genetically stable? Are you even able to have kids? I know that's important to Cloud, he's been talking about being a dad since he was three! No wonder he's so wrapped up in all this shit! You've got him reeled in so tight he'd put up with anything for you!"

"Women from Nibelheim are something else," Hojo tutted to Vincent with a smile.

"No shit," Vincent drawled back to him, making a sour face.

"Yo April, why don't you have a drink or ten?" Sephiroth suddenly suggested, his normally soft monotone not quite enough to drown out her shill screaming, but still commanded plenty of attention. "You're a lot cooler when you're drunk. And when you're drunk, you seem pretty into the idea of me and Cloud gettin' married and bein' together."

"Before I knew all this!" April wildly motioned to the lab in general. "What about all that utter bullshit you told me in Nibelheim when I asked you what you are? I knew there was something fucked up about you, and you lied to my face! Corrective lenses, some fucking dental implants? I knew you were full of shit! And the way you ushered me around when I was here for Cloud when he got hurt – I knew there was something you were hiding from me!"

Sephiroth had been holding this next part back, but decided to just go for it, "I invited you to the Halloween party and you barely even talked to your kid all night, you were too busy gettin' wasted. Then you fucked one of my best friends when he was at like, his lowest point ever. Zack's only two years older than Cloud by the way, so remember that for your mother of the year speech."

"You really wanna bring up the topic of age?" April laughed, totally unbothered. "Look at you two, he's a baby compared to you! You're using him!"

Cloud stood up so fast his chair clattered to the floor, "No he isn't! I was a solid sixteen and three months old when we got together! And I'll have you know I do most of the... using...?" he hadn't been too sure where he was going when he began this sentence and surely didn't want to go any farther down this road. Nobody else in the room wanted to be taken on this journey, either. The look on Sephiroth's face was particularly horror-stricken.

Cloud swallowed, "... Point is, I'm an adult, whether you like it or not mom. And Sephiroth, I happen to think that single, consenting adults can and should have safe, healthy relations with whomever they choose! I wish mom didn't choose Zack of all people, but as God as my witness I can't blame her!"

"Can you be done talkin' for the night?" Sephiroth asked him miserably.

April scoffed, "So I fucked your dumb, idiot friend. Am I supposed to feel bad about that?"

Rhonda piped up again, "Nothing wrong with being a slut. If she was a man, it wouldn't even be a point of conversation."

"Thank you!" April said.

Vincent spoke up, and his eyes were everywhere but on the people in the room, "Um. One thing, in total fairness... parents are just people. Parents aren't perfect. And they might like, uh..." he was motioning vaguely in April's direction, searching for words.

"What the fuck are you trying to say over there, John Wick?" she demanded. "Spit it out!"

"I am," his red eyes blinked in sheer disbelief at this whole night. "Look, I can tell this lady loves her son very much. Parents don't act like this unless they give a shit."

Sephiroth was biting his nails, maybe in response to all the nervous smoking going on in the room, "Then why are you here? How many times have you said over an' over that you're not my dad?"

"Maybe not, but Cloud called me. And I give a shit about you."

Dr. Hojo was drinking from a can of RC Cola from the outside vending machine, "Excuse me, this is all very impassioned and revealing, and I love being all caught up on Sephiroth's personal life so I hate to interrupt, but can I say something on the subject of who is and isn't Sephiroth's father?"

Vincent took a sharp breath through his nose, "Do we need to do this right now?"

"Yes!" Cloud erupted into applause, "Yes, let's just do it all right now!"

"Shut up," Sephiroth hissed at him. "Let's not do this ever! We're here to talk about a clone!"

"Alright," Hojo agreed, and took another sip.

Vincent was staring at Hojo, "I coulda found out if I wanted to. I had him a lot of weekends. I coulda gone and got a blood test. But it wouldn't have made a damn bit of difference. I couldn't ever have him, so why would I wanna know?"

Hojo didn't say anything, but he looked at Rhonda. She was looking back at him with a vaguely defiant glare, which then shifted into a shrug.

Vincent was looking between the both of them, "What?"

"Just shut up, Vincent," Sephiroth all but begged. "It doesn't matter to me."

"It doesn't?" Dr. Hojo looked surprised. "This man has shown up against my will, against your deceased surrogate mother's will, against direct orders at some points from the President himself to care for you as much as he was able. Your boyfriend called him for support, and he showed in moments – for you, Sephiroth. You clearly aren't able to process and understand real human feeling, so I'm not sure what more of him you want other than some biological confirmation of his contribution to your genetics?"

"Give me a break," April drawled, not lighting a new cigarette but playing with her lighter. "Have these two looked in a mirror? It's fucking obvious."

"Jesus mom, shut up!"

Then there was a knock on the door.

Hojo was closest, so he hobbled a couple of steps to open it, "Yes?"

"We're here to see General Sephiroth."

"Yeah?" Sephiroth called, hoping more doctors were here to give him a lobotomy or something.

It wasn't, it was a group of four Third Class SOLDIERs. One of them lifted up Sephiroth's laptop and some files balanced on it, and coughed on all the smoke that came wafting out of the room, "Ahem – General Sephiroth, Sir... we had training this morning. We were waiting by your office and your secretary said it's been canceled. She asked us to bring you this."

"It's already four?" Sephiroth asked in total disbelief, and everyone began checking their phones. Not quite, but almost - it was three forty-two in the morning.

"I have to get going," April said, standing up. "Walk me to my car, Clow."

"In a second," Cloud whispered.

"Why did she tell you it was canceled?" Sephiroth asked them.

"I texted your secretary a little while ago and had her clear your day," Rhonda said. "I thought you might need a personal day after all this."

Sephiroth met the SOLDIERs at the door and took the stuff from them with an entirely different expression on his face and much more professional voice, "Thanks for this, but nothing is canceled. I'll meet you guys up on the training floor, gimme like twenty minutes."

The SOLDIERs had apparently been on an emotional roller coaster of their own this morning, and looked delighted at their changed fortune. They happily bounded off like a group of excited puppies and left everyone with a really weird vibe to very quickly work through.

Sephiroth glared at Rhonda, "Don't ever fuck with my schedule like that again."

"I'm so fucking sick of all of you," Rhonda grunted and made her way to the elevator.

Vincent followed her. Hojo had already left in the opposite direction.

Sephiroth was left with Cloud and April, and looked at the both of them, unsure of which short blonde person to speak to. He picked Cloud, "Don't skip today. Make sure to get your ass to school."

"Don't talk to him like that," April growled. "After everything you've put this kid through the past few days? He can skip if he wants to."

"Mom, enough," Cloud sighed, fully understanding that him urging him to go to school was apart of Shin-Ra culture. He looked up at Sephiroth, "... I need a hug."

Sephiroth looked like he didn't want to, but leaned down and did it anyway. He squeezed his eyes shut and hugged Cloud tight for only a heartbeat, and then let him go, "Wanna fight later?"

"Yes," Cloud said.

"I'll call you."

"Love you," Cloud told him, fully aware of the very skeptical parental figure watching as he stood up tall on his toes to place a quick kiss on Sephiroth's jaw.

Sephiroth turned away, hoping Rhonda and Vincent would already be in the elevator and gone. They weren't. He felt beyond awkward as he joined them to wait.

"No more vigilante shit," Vincent finally said to him. "We don't just murder people we don't like."

"We don't?" Sephiroth asked him in disbelief. "I'm not movin' off my point that he killed SOLDIERs and he should die for it. It's the actual right thing to do."

"Funny how your priorities about capital punishment shift when it's not one of your buddies that's in trouble," Rhonda mused.

Sephiroth looked at her in shock.

She gave him a wry smile back, "You're a good guy, Seph. But Genesis?... I've seen you look the other way when he has his bad days. More than once."

Sephiroth looked at Vincent, mortified, and that compounded when he realized he was hoping to be defended somehow.

Vincent gave him a wide, thin lipped smile, "Been in Shin-Ra long enough to understand how it goes. Don't worry about it. You do your best... everyone knows that."

They didn't say anything until they were on the elevator. Vincent used his keycard to prevent anyone else from boarding on their way to their destinations, "Where we goin', kids?"

Rhonda was leaning against the window, "Cafeteria, please."

"Office," Sephiroth answered.

Vincent pushed three buttons and they began to ascend.

"Nobody here's perfect," Sephiroth finally said. "But I think I have a right to handle my own clone."

Rhonda's arms were crossed. She wasn't used to these sleepless days anymore, and was trembling a little in fatigue, "You don't have the right to handle anybody. Do you hear yourself?"

"Really? You lab people have me kill clones by the dozen, but this one is special because Cloud decides to make a big deal out of him? I don't fuckin' get it!"

"And all the ones you don't kill, we wind up having to gas - "

"Is that my fault?" Sephiroth sputtered on laughter. "I feel like I'm talkin' a different language than all of you!"

Rhonda squared up and faced him directly, "Nobody likes human experimentation. You kill that new kid, and every single volunteer's death from now until this shit project finally gets shut down is on you. This kid might be able to show us the way toward volunteer-free progress, and that is worth something. So stop making it about you!"

Sephiroth was beyond baffled that the project he'd been born into and the volunteers who were forced to become genetic clones of him , was about something other than himself. He was so angry about so many different things he couldn't even get words out, "G-sh- You had no right draggin' Cloud over to the lab. And don't ever fuck with my schedule like that again, that was fuckin' embarrassing. And after everything that happened tonight that's sayin' somethin'."

"Don't call women bitches, Seph," Vincent interjected. "They never forget it."

Sephiroth gawked at him, "What? I didn't call her a bitch!"

"Oh..." Vincent's eyes slide to the side, and he was clearly recounting what had been said recently. "R-really? Are you sure?"

Rhonda giggled. It infected the guys and they all had a weird little laugh until they stopped at Vincent's floor.

"Be good," he said to them, and left.

Sephiroth was looking at the floor as the doors shut, "... Sorry."

"Hey," Rhonda offered herself in a hug.

Sephiroth took her up on that, but it was short-lived as the cafeteria floor wasn't much farther up. He gave her a pleading look when the doors opened, "Do you still wanna have breakfast later? I really gotta talk about all this shit."

Rhonda had forgotten all about that. She now had a full day ahead of her, plus a terribly neglected family to go home to. She hadn't held her little boys in five fucking days, she simply had no real estate left for Sephiroth in her mind or her life, so she had to shake her head, "I can't, Seph."

"Okay... can I call you later?"

She stood in the doorway of the elevator, "Why don't you call my girl Gina? Cloud said you were going to, anyway. Get an appointment set up... she might even be able to see you today or tomorrow."

Sephiroth felt literally thirteen-years-old, enamored with Rhonda as the cool, young nurse when she first began working at the lab. She was the first person who ever talked to him like a grown up, the first person he could really open up to and trust with a secret, who would really listen to him. Vincent was on his way out of his life during that time, and Rhonda become in all seriousness his first friend.

And now she was now telling him to get therapy so she wouldn't have to hear any more of his bullshit.

He blinked, "Okay."

"Sorry, Seph. I'm not used to staying up for days and days anymore, and I just wanna trudge through this day and go home to Julie and the boys. I just... I can't even think about anything else right now but that. I'm sorry."

"I get it, do what you gotta do."

"See ya," she smiled, kind of.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Mom..." Cloud whispered once Sephiroth, Rhonda and Vincent were small in the distance. "... Why did you do that to him? I told you how much he loves you."

"Like I give a shit. I love you too much not to speak my mind to a guy you're seriously dating. Especially when I think he's a fucking monster that's gonna break your heart," she let out a plume of smoke and began to walk in the general direction of the parking garage. "If he's any kinda man, he'll prove me wrong. If he's not, I did you a favor."

"Mom, I'm about to say two things that might hurt your feelings."

"You can't hurt my feelings."

"You've never actually been in love, because you hate men."

This was not anything close to what she expected to be accused of, and sputtered a long smoker's laugh, "What?"

"I love you. You're a great mom - but you are a terrible girlfriend because you literally hate men! I think you purposely choose men that are less intelligent so you always have the upper hand," Cloud lost his grown up cool and began to cower as a look crossed April's face that usually preceded him getting smacked. "A-and... you date them to torture them and then you call them assholes for the break up! It's like a game you play when you get bored, you've never actually been in love! Not even with my dad. There's no way you loved him."

April considered this with a far off look in her blue eyes.

Guilt slid up Cloud's back and he moved closer to her as he walked, "It's okay that you didn't... he's so lame. I could tell over the phone he's lame. And all the guys from Nibelheim, and in Junon... I know you mostly just play games and have fun. But I'm not like that."

April slowly smiled, "Well, I always did say you're the only man I ever loved."

Cloud wrapped his arm around her and pulled her into a side hug as they walked, "... Can you at least acknowledge that Sephiroth... he's so... I like him, and love him, and respect him. And I'm not doing any of this to him, or even for him. I just think it's the right thing to do."

"... Alright, maybe I don't get it because I never met a man I liked, let alone loved and respected. But don't just double down on this because you want to be a stubborn prick and prove your slutty, straight mom wrong," April smacked his arm when he began to roll his eyes back into his head. "I mean it... call me and say you want out of here and we're gone. You are not trapped here, by anything. You don't owe Midgar, or Sephiroth, or the Shin-Ra army shit. You never will. Tell me you understand this."

"Aye," Cloud said softly, and pressed the button for the elevator that went down to the parking garage. "... Are you going to think about taking the teaching job?"

April laughed a little, "I doubt that's still on the table."

"What if it is? Would you want to move to Midgar?"

"I really don't think so."

"... Well then can I tell you something? I'm going to marry Sephiroth," he waved his hands when April pulled a tight expression. "Not anytime soon! But we're talking about planning it five years from now. So we're planning the... fiancé-becoming process. Whatever that is."

"It's a promise," April informed him. "In old days you'd give someone a promise ring. It's the step before becoming engaged."

"We're not ring people."

"Oh of course not, why bother having even one actual tradition?"

Cloud was too tired to argue one single minute longer, but found the will to say, "We've got the horrible mother-in-law thing down! You've been trying to bait Sephiroth into fucking up or starting a fight since the first time you ever spoke to him. He's done nothing by try to make you accept and like him."

"He called me a skag," she sleepily grasped, still trying to be angry.

"You are a skag!"

The sun hadn't risen yet, and Cloud crossed his arms against the pre-dawn frost as they walked through the parking garage. It was full even at four in the morning, these people literally never went home.

They arrived at her little car from Mount Nibel, which was much smaller, older and distinctly foreign from all the other cars around it. Seeing it made a wave of nostalgia fall over him, and he was eager for a hug.

She held him tight and kissed his cheek, "I love you, sweetie."

"I can't stand you," was his response as he absolutely indulged in the feeling of being held by his mom. "... I love you too, though. Is your entire day screwed?"

"I'll have time for a shower before my first class. I'll look like hell but they've seen worse."

"You're lovely," Cloud told her, meaning it. "Now it's time for me to go run until I vomit. And deal with a very upset man."

"If he isn't groveling at your feet, dump him."

"Instantly. I'll never look back, I'll have a new boyfriend by lunchtime."

"Little shit."

Cloud stood up tall at his full height and looked down at her over his nose, "Medium shit."

They shared one more warm hug. She got in and gave him a little toot of her horn as she drove away.

He slowly made his way back over to the dorms, and slipped quietly into the room fifteen minutes before their alarm went off.

"DADDY!" Psycho screamed, shocking Cameron awake with a heavy snort.

"Sorry!" Cloud said to him, and then whispered to the cat, "Don't yell in the morning."

"I DIDN'T!" he insisted at the same volume.

Cameron sleepily looked at the clock, then at Cloud who was sneaking around in yesterday's clothes. He sat up in bed and stretched his arms behind his head, "... Beast! Ya been wit' Seph all night?"

Cloud liked the sound of that. And it was technically the truth so he agreed, "Yeah."

And then it was business as usual. He changed into training clothes and grabbed a fresh uniform for later, and went to stuff some pancakes and eggs from the cafeteria into his plastic dinosaur to-go box to eat after his morning physical classes. He made it to RUN class with plenty of time to stretch out under the pre-dawn stars.

Rhonda was standing there eating a bagel, and looked surprised to see him, "Strife, what the hell are you doing here? Go to bed."

"Sir, no Sir," Cloud told her, setting down his stuff in the usual spot on the grass.

She held up and rattled a now-empty can, "Want a Red Bull? I have tons."

He nodded, but then thought better of it, since anything in his stomach during RUN ended up directly onto the grass, "I'll take you up on that afterwards?"

"Remind me before you leave, I have literally one brain cell left," she said, and went to go stretch out so she could run with the boys this morning. Getting through a fifth day awake required constant movement.

Cloud went to where Skylar was stretching, feeling like he hadn't seen him in a hundred thousand years, "Hey - "

"I have so much to talk about that I'm interrupting you immediately."

"What's up?" he asked with a sleepy smile as he halfheartedly began to stretch.

"Cloud, can you imagine what it's like making love to a man? Sephiroth's in this weird category... extra-large twink, probably more of a twunk. But Angeal is a real man. I made love to a man!"

Cloud rolled his eyes, he hated this category talk, but this was the most mild insult he'd absorbed on Sephiroth's behalf in hours, "Is that why you were gone yesterday?"

"Yes! At this time yesterday I was still making love to a man!" Skylar shouted in glee, letting it echo throughout the field.

"You called in sick yesterday, Than!" Rhonda shouted through her bullhorn at him.

He grimaced, "... And then I caught a cold!"

She was too tired to give him much more shit than that, and decided to take off at a run. They still had three minutes until six o'clock, but most of the class took off after her to suck up.

Skylar let out a sigh and watched them go, "Some mornings I really don't feel like running."

"I never do."

"Let's just go at a conversation pace fast enough to where she won't yell at us, I need to talk for this entire hour!"

Cloud decided in that moment that he wasn't going to tell anyone anything about the clone or the events of the past couple of days. He felt a little bit free in that, and exactly just awake enough to start to run alongside Skylar and listen about what it felt like to make love to a real man with a hairy butt.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

It was weird how those predawn hours seemed to buzz right by in an instant, but every minute after receiving those texts from Sephiroth at his therapist's office felt like eons. Cloud was nervous and jittery, and kept checking his phone because he could have sworn he saw the screen flash or felt it vibrate.

He'd been the one to push Sephiroth into therapy, but never expected it to be like this. Four days ago he never could have predicted any of this. What if she was telling Sephiroth that he had a toxic boyfriend with a toxic mother and to run as fast as he could?

And he clearly was toxic, because part of him was thriving. Rescuing somebody, finally getting involved, finally speaking his truth in front of a lot of scary people and standing against whatever backlash he might get for it... it just felt good to finally do something.

But without Sephiroth to talk to about it, he just felt... alone. Cloud wanted to know how it felt to finally know for certain that Vincent was his father. He wanted to know what Sephiroth thought of his mother's little tirade. He wanted Sephiroth to be angry at her and ready to prove her wrong. He wanted romance and strength and understanding and really, really hot, passionate make-up sex to come from all of this. He wanted it to be followed by sweet kisses and the feeling of two hearts connecting and totally understanding one another.

Maybe he could finally see that Cloud could actually help him and that he didn't intend to sit around and let sad shit continue to happen to Sephiroth. So much of Sephiroth's life had happened to him against his will and it didn't have to be like that anymore. Cloud wanted to make his entire life better, not just be kept in some little compartment away from everything else.

But that was kind of against Sephiroth's will, too... poor guy was kind of fucked either way. But at least Cloud actually gave a shit about his well being and was coming from a place of like, love and stuff. That didn't make it toxic. Did it?

That afternoon, Cloud was sitting in Wutainese Linguistics class in a pair of extremely large, old school headphones, trying to repeat what he was hearing to his professor's satisfaction. He was stopping at each Cadet's desk to listen to how they sounded, and pulling the oversized headphones away to give them advice. The professor was this older guy with really out of control eyebrows, and was never in the army but took the Wutainese language extremely seriously.

Cloud really liked most of the classes he'd taken at the Academy, since he could literally see how it all had real world application. But he just didn't believe he was ever going to be specifically called upon in his entire life to speak Wutainese. Especially not in a fucking war-time, hostage situation crisis or something.

"C̄hạn... ṭhex... mạn... phwk..." Cloud passionlessly repeated each word, hoping the professor would just pass him by.

He didn't. He pulled the earphone from Cloud's ear, "Phwk."

"Phwk," Cloud parroted, irritated by the interruption.

"You're speaking like a child, say it like I am. Phwk."

"Phwk."

"No, listen to me and then say it like me. Phwk."

Cloud collapsed against his desk, "I can't help that I have an accent! You're asking me to speak in your accent, in a Wutainese accent! That's like three levels of accent inception!"

"It's not about your accent, it's about listening, Cloud. Listen, and repeat."

Cloud's phone began to actually for real vibrate in his pocket, so he gave it everything he had, "Phwk! Can I use the bathroom pass?"

"Go on," the professor said, and moved on to the next desk.

He rushed out into the hallway and made sure the coast was clear as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. He so relieved to see that it was Sephiroth and not his mom or some other undesirable.

"Hello!" he answered.

"Hey, uh, we're not alone."

"What?"

"Cloud?" came a lady's voice that clearly wasn't Sephiroth. He was on speaker phone.

This unexpected voice coupled with his fatigue weirdly made him break out in goosebumps for some reason, "Hi..."

"This is Dr. Stokes," she said. "Can I speak to you for a minute?"

"Okay," Cloud agreed nervously. "It's nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you, too. We've been talking all morning, and I know we've barely scratched the surface here, but you sound like a very caring, compassionate person. And I think you're also a very brave person."

Cloud let out a little sound of surprise and delight, "Oh! Well... thank you?"

"I want you to know Sephiroth loves you very much, and he's prioritizing you and your long-term happiness and life together by being here today."

"Okay..." he agreed, beginning to get a new kind of nervous.

"Last night you gave him, and everyone else involved a lot to think about. I actually think the lab had the right idea, to get everything in order and return in two weeks with more information so the best decision possible can be made. Would you be willing to give Sephiroth a little bit of space until that meeting?"

"Of course," Cloud immediately agreed, then hesitated, "... Does it mean we shouldn't talk about this, or shouldn't talk at all?"

"Both."

Cloud hadn't slept in thirty hours and he felt like five different versions of himself were screaming inside his head about what the right move was, but one that rarely spoke and lived someplace deep in his chest took control. Cloud heard himself very maturely and evenly answer, "That's a good idea."

"Really?" Sephiroth interjected flatly.

Cloud let out a helpless noise over the phone, "I'm not gonna lie, I've been going a little bit crazy over here today... but I'll give you the space and time you need, Seph. Of course I will."

"I think two weeks isn't so long, and certainly not too much time to spend thinking this through," she was speaking to Sephiroth, whose clear devastation was compounding by the second in her office.

But Cloud thought she was speaking to him , and assumed Sephiroth told her all about how needy and clingy he was. That mysterious stranger who lived in his chest spoke very clearly, "I want to spend the rest of my life with him, two weeks is nothing. Just to clarify, this two week break... this isn't like... a break- up."

"No," Sephiroth told him, thoroughly irritated. "Why would you even say that?"

"I'm not saying that, I'm saying that it's not that," Cloud sighed, but he tried to remain calm. "... I know last night was shitty for you, but I just want you to see that I'm trying to help you and... everyone. I want to make things better. If you need some time away from me, it's okay."

"You need time, too," Dr. Stokes added.

Cloud didn't think he did, but agreed, "Okay. So the next time we'll be able to talk is... your seminar?"

"Oh that's right," Sephiroth remembered. "He's got a seminar thing I'm teachin' weekend after next. We're gonna be around each other."

"Can you keep it strictly professional until the seminar's over? It might be a good exercise for your future together. I'm sure you're going to have some disagreements now and then and still need to function around each other at work."

Sephiroth laughed a little, "Yeah, we fight all the time."

"We don't fight all the time!" Cloud shouted, then remembered he was standing in the middle of the hallway where anyone official could be lurking and put an abrupt end to this phone call. He whispered, "We're not even fighting now. This isn't a fight, Seph. This is life."

Sephiroth didn't respond.

The silence extended until the therapist spoke, "Thanks for being so patient and understanding, Cloud. You're right, this is just life. And life's really hard sometimes."

In her office on the other side of Midgar, Sephiroth stared at his phone, waiting for Cloud's voice to come back strongly and adamantly rejecting this plan. Cloud wouldn't want to ignore each other for two weeks. Cloud would want to fight, talk, and find some way to extinguish this raging anger that had settled on Sephiroth's heart if it fucking took another entire night.

There was no smile in Cloud's voice as he said, "I'm really happy you're there, Seph. I guess it's best to just... leave it alone for a while."

Being on the phone with an intermediary prevented them from saying anything more cutting, personal, or intimate. Maybe that was a good thing, but it left both of them feeling odd, like this entire exchange felt a little too simple and cordial.

"See you later, then," Sephiroth told him.

"Okay. I love you."

"Love you, too."

Cloud hung up first. The call ended and Sephiroth's phone went back to the background image, which was still a generic swirl of color that had come preloaded onto the phone.

"That didn't go at all how I thought it would," Sephiroth admitted, and his throat felt tight.

"People can be surprising sometimes."

"... I'm tired."

"Alright, you've done a lot of work today. I always try to end my sessions with a guided meditation – "

"No," and he didn't. But he did humor her by allowing her to tap on a very melodic bowl near his head, and he sat there with his eyes closed while the sound reverberated around the room until it was gone.

It was four o' clock when he left her office, feeling pretty fucking weird and no better about anything that had transpired. He made the next appointment with the girl at the front desk for the following Sunday. Even if Cloud wouldn't be with him, he could at least set the framework for their Sunday date days in the future. And hey, thinking about Cloud didn't make him seething mad. It was either progress, or his anger had officially tired itself out.

The girl at the desk was eyeing him as she set the appointment in the computer, "... Are you really gonna show up?"

"Mm-hm," he was out of words.

When Sephiroth was on his way to the truck, there was a ping in his pocket that signaled a text from Cloud. He hesitantly read it, Before the break officially begins, is it okay to text for a minute? I have like 4 minutes until my next class. If not, just don't reply and I'll talk to you soon.

Sephiroth stood there in the parking garage, fighting with himself for a moment. If he started talking to Cloud, he wouldn't want to stop. He might just drive himself over to the Academy. He might just do a lot of things. But he took the chance to call him instead.

Cloud immediately picked up, "How are you? Are you still there?"

"I just left. I'm okay. Really tired."

"Me too... I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry."

Sephiroth just didn't know what to say to that. Finally he gathered up the energy to move his lips, "You're not, though. You did exactly what you wanted to do."

"... I could have done it better. I could have talked to you first."

No he couldn't have. He tried. He tried all weekend. Sephiroth wasn't going to hear it then, and he really didn't want to hear it now. He began to walk towards his car, "I'm gonna go home and sleep."

"Okay. I love you... and I'd just like to repeat that this isn't a break-up!"

"Of course it's not a fuckin' break-up. Why are you like this?" Sephiroth seethed with fresh rage. Why the fuck did Cloud think this way? What else did Sephiroth have to do to prove that he honestly loved him? Cloud had gutted Sephiroth, and yet still, always, he was left responsible for making sure Cloud felt loved enough, Cloud felt secure enough, Cloud was happy. Sometimes it was like Cloud was a bottomless pit of love that would never be fucking filled to matter how hard Sephiroth tried.

"I'm just... scared," was all Cloud had to say for himself.

"Of what?" Sephiroth asked.

Cloud didn't respond right away. Sephiroth walked through the parking garage until he arrived at his truck. Cloud still hadn't said anything and silence was making him angrier than words, "I was fine before you called, I just listened to fuckin' bowl and I was ready to chill the fuck out, and now I'm pissed off all over again. You wanna say anything else? Because I'm gonna hang the fuck up."

"You called me."

"What?"

"I didn't call you, dick. You called me."

Sephiroth laughed a little before he could stop himself. He rubbed his eyes and pushed all the hair out of his face as he leaned against his truck, "... I did call you. I'm sorry baby."

Sephiroth was talking to himself. Cloud had already hung up on him.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

In the following days, Sephiroth kind of felt a return to form. He was ready to volunteer for any mission that came up, answering every email that came his way, and endlessly prowled for SOLDIERs looking for a fight on the training floor.

As long as he was doing something, he didn't have to think about anything or talk to anyone. And it was clear nobody wanted to talk to him, either. The Turks were angry that he hadn't succeeded in his promise to Cissnea; Elena was especially convinced that he didn't kill the clone because he was pussy whipped. Genesis and Angeal had made it very clear that they were staying out of this matter entirely.

Not even Zack was around to confide in, as he got sent away on an extended mission at sea to deal with some a nuisance monster that kept fucking around with their remote signal towers by making big nests on them. Sephiroth was insanely jealous and wanted that mission for himself since it would be such a complete distraction, but it was sweet pay and low risk and he had a baby on the way, so Sephiroth let Zack have it.

Unfortunately it was peace time, and the President had decided to take a vacation for the remainder of the year, so there was much less busy work than there often was. It was amazing how he was constantly being chased down by details, but once he was actually looking for more to do it wasn't there. A lot of people were also taking advantage of the President being gone and taking their own time off, so there weren't even as many SOLDIERs around to train as there normally were.

Being lonely gave Sephiroth an idea, and for the first time ever he called a meeting.

It was only Angeal, Genesis, and his secretary Shelly, but it was still a meeting. He ordered lunch and everything, and received an unexpected bottle of wine, customary for catered afternoon meetings. Nobody else wanted any with their lunch, not even Genesis because it was too cheap for his taste, so Sephiroth drank most of it before giving his presentation.

His idea was to put out an ad in the corporate newsletter to offer hour slots for one-on-one training for any rank or position in the army except for Cadet or SOLDIER. It'd just be a daily first come, first serve kind of sign-up thing. It didn't have to be only with him either, Angeal or Genesis could also show up to be the instructor for those sessions. He thought that there was a weakness in not having enough personal contact with the different ranks, and they could better assess the training being done at those levels with a little time spent with them.

When the floor was opened for questions, Genesis raised his hand, "Is this is a cry for help?"

"No..." Sephiroth said, feeling a little embarrassed after speaking for so long about an idea he was actually excited about. "I just have a shit ton of time right now and nothin' to do. And I'm sad."

"Sad!?" Genesis bellowed. "What the hell do you have to be sad about?"

Maybe it was the wine that made him admit to being sad in the first place, but then he said, "Life."

"What's wrong, Seph?" Angeal asked with much more sincerity.

Instead of answering the question, Sephiroth took a long drink from the bottle.

"Alright, that's enough of that," Angeal took the bottle from him and was slightly amused to find it empty. "... So this project is only a trial? Any of us could show up to teach the slots, it'd just mostly be you because you're bored and... sad?"

"And apparently a lightweight," Genesis added.

Sephiroth nodded somberly, "It could lead to somethin' longer term if the trial goes well. Within two weeks I'll have enough experience with it to tell if it's worth it."

"So once you make up with Cloud, this is history?" Shelly asked, pen poised on the form. "Say yes and I'll sign off on this."

"Yes," he said. "I actually really like wine."

"Cheap wine," Genesis added, and then took the paper to add his signature, too.

"Expensive wine literally tastes the same," Angeal said as he included his own name.

Everyone signed off on the idea which put it into motion, and it was thusly named SOLDIER's Army Advisory Assessment and Drilling Project. Or, the SAAAD Project.

Shelly wasn't crazy about this development for a good reason – it gave her one more thing to keep track of. She'd be the one having to field all the calls and spend half her day telling guys that there were no more slots available. So after some brainstorming they decided to make a website, but not before calling another official meeting for just the two of them, and ordering dinner and three more bottles of wine.

They lost all semblance of personal space and sat close together at her desk, drinking and figuring out how to make a really simple online scheduling website. The guys who wanted a time slot could just fill in their names themselves, and Shelly wouldn't have to do a thing.

On Friday morning the corporate newspaper contained the advertisement for SAAAD, and the online traffic came like a tidal wave and crashed their little website almost immediately.

Their sober selves were far less enthusiastic about web design. Shelly was hungover and squinting at the html, "Do you know what's wrong?"

Sephiroth wasn't hungover at all, but could only offer her a shrug, "We could try googling it?"

"What do I google? 'Broken website'?" and so they called someone from the IT department to come help them, and with a few fixes their website was functional again.

"Stop calling it a website, this isn't a website," the IT guy kept telling them.

For Friday and Saturday, Sephiroth offered thirteen slots each day, which filled up immediately. Shelly absolutely insisted he take Sunday off because she didn't want to come in, but that was twenty-six beautiful hours of blissful distraction.

If he couldn't have rich old lady pills, he was gonna knock himself out this way. He was so exhausted each night he fell into bed and slept like a rock.

Then Sunday morning the Turks came back to his loft to tweak some things they'd noticed when testing the new security system, and gave Sephiroth the app to control it from his phone.

"Where's Cloud today?" Tseng asked pleasantly once he was done with Sephiroth's phone.

It was such a simple question, but it felt like he'd just shoved a knife in Sephiroth's chest, "How am I supposed to know? It's not like he always has to be here."

Tseng blinked, "Oookay... what's his number? I can text him the link."

Sephiroth gave him Cloud's number, and watched him text it, Hello, we met at your partner's apartment last week. I've come back to finalize the setup, and the app to control it is complete and ready for download. I apologize that it took a few days longer than I originally anticipated.

Sephiroth was amazed how fast and how nicely Tseng texted. He felt a surge of some kind of sharp emotion when dots immediately popped up that signaled Cloud began texting him back. Why was he even awake this early?

Hello again! No worries, thank you for everything! Cloud wrote politely and also very neatly.

Sephiroth began to suspect that he himself was just a sloppy texter.

Tseng responded with the download link which he apparently fucking had memorized, and then wrote, It's very straight forward. He has been shown how to use it, and will bring you up to speed next time you're here. Once you download the app, immediately delete this conversation but feel free to save this number under anything other than my name. If you have any further questions or have any technical difficulties don't hesitate to reach out to me.

Sephiroth had been watching this a little more intently than was polite, and Tseng slid his phone back into his coat pocket before he had a chance to see what, if anything Cloud wrote back to him, "That should do it."

"Thanks."

"It's my job," was all he said. Once he and the other Turks left, Sephiroth was alone. He had a few hours until he had to leave for therapy.

After eating a bowl of cereal, he jerked off twice in a row. The first one was while watching the video Cloud made with his phone. This was now the twelfth time Sephiroth had masturbated while watching it, even though it was kind of short and Cloud didn't actually finish. He got some tiny vibrating prostate thing from Dirty Rubbers and was trying it out. Mostly it was Cloud squirming and talking about how weird it felt, but towards the middle of the video he sat on it just right. And the next forty-five seconds were Cloud grinding his hips against Sephiroth's bed in frustration while his cock leaked all over his stomach – that was enough to get Sephiroth off. The second time was to some random guy on the internet who was fucking a flesh light and talking dirty to it. Sephiroth's inward focus oscillated between using someone else like an object, and being used like one himself.

Once that was over with and he took a shower, he was bored.

Maybe this is why some guys worked on cars or pretended they were animals and slept in cages or flew drones around... his only real hobby was interior design and it wasn't so easy to casually tap into when he had time. He kinda felt like this was the first time he'd had time to himself in... months, if not years.

It was kind of fucking unbearable.

He hadn't gone over to the other side of the loft at all since everything went down. He hadn't consciously been avoiding it, but he found himself searching for evidence of someone hiding over on this side of the place. There was no evidence left behind of any kind. Just a bunch of empty rooms, with vague plans for each of them sketched out in his mind.

He leaned against the door of Cloud's man cave. Cloud hadn't done much with this room, yet. There was some stuff he'd brought from Nibelheim. His record cabinet was still unbuilt in the box from Ikea, leaning up against the wall where Cloud had dragged it in and left it. His little red power drill was in there too, the box still unopened.

Sephiroth decided to open it for him and plug it in. Before he knew it, he was assembling the record cabinet, too. It took like an hour, and he did a really nice job of it, and the record player fit right where it needed to go and was able to be plugged in without the cord showing at all.

But when he opened the lower cabinet door to put in Cloud's box of records, he realized he'd installed it backwards. Instead of swinging out to the right, the door swung out to the left... and that quarter inch of difference prevented the record box from sliding in. Maybe if it was a smaller box, or maybe he could literally force it in, but it was meant to slide in and out easily so Cloud could look through his records. And he wouldn't want a newer, slimmer box, this was April's record box from when she was a teenager. The way he'd secured all the bolts and screws, it would be impossible to take apart and fix.

Sephiroth sat on the floor in front of that cabinet and cried.

Then there was a thought, maybe the first real introspective thought he'd allowed himself to have this week. In his mind he'd accused Cloud of being a bottomless pit for love, but maybe he was. If he didn't get his way, if everyone in his life wasn't performing their roles exactly the way he wanted them to, was he really just a stupid, selfish little boy? Was that was this whole "break" was really all about? Was his therapist and Cloud just offering him room to have a tantrum?

In therapy, Sephiroth wasn't quite sure what to talk about or where to begin, so he kind of just recounted everything he'd done in the past few days.

Dr. Stokes looked exhausted just listening to it all, "... That all sounds very productive! And what about your inner work?"

"What?"

"Did you start your journal?"

"No."

"... Have you taken any time to think about the clone?"

"No."

"That was the entire point of this break, Sephiroth!" she was almost laughing. "If you come out of this two weeks without any thoughts or insight, what was the point?"

"Can I ask you a stupid question?"

"There are no stupid questions."

"How do I... think?"

Her eyebrows dropped, "... What?"

"How do I..." Sephiroth really tried to rephrase it. "Where does insight... come from?"

She went to her desk and dug around for a moment, then came back with a mostly empty notebook, and ripped a few used pages out of it to offer it to him clean, "This is your journal."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The following week, Sephiroth reduced the number of slots for his SAAAD project from thirteen a day down to three. But even then, there were absolutely no missions, no meetings, no nothing. He spent most of the week either running in circles on the field, or sitting in his office, staring at the ceiling and trying to think.

How did people take time to think about things? What did that even mean? Gina couldn't tell him. He was supposed to figure it out with the help of a notebook.

When Sephiroth attempted to think about what happened, it was mostly chronological. This happened, that happened, he felt this way, and this is what everyone said.

Nothing about what April said angered him at this point, because fuck it – she was kind of right. If he was decent he would let Cloud be young and carefree, but he was not decent so he would compensate by showing more appreciation for Cloud. He had to. Or else he was going to lose him someday to someone who would show him that appreciation. That was just common sense.

And Rhonda had her own life and her own family and her own shit to deal with. She was a world class friend for sitting around all night watching him and Cloud and April argue. She didn't owe him anything else, least of all free therapy.

Dr. Hojo was a dick.

Vincent kind of did his best. And they both damn well knew they were father and son. It was no big deal for it to be confirmed.

Dr. Hojo was still a dick, though.

Sephiroth looked at the empty pages, and clicked his pen a few times. Gina told him to start by writing affirming statements, short things that he knew to be true and to not judge them or think about them too much, just write them. He wasn't sure what that meant, so he just began to write small statements that he knew to be true.

I'm Sephiroth. I'm from Midgar. I'm 23. I'm alive. Vincent Valentine is my dad. Lucretia Crescent is my dead mom. Jenova is an alien who thinks she's my mom. Rhonda Demontmorencey is my friend. Zack Fair is my friend. Cloud Strife is

Cloud Strife is

Sephiroth's pen hovered here a long time. He didn't know what Cloud Strife was. He didn't fit into a neat little box like boyfriend. He was something else.

Sometimes his inbox or his phone would ping and he would clamor to check them, hoping for a mission or an impromptu meeting about anything at all. Or maybe, just maybe, a rebellious text or call from Cloud. Mostly it was about the holidays, just people CC'ing him on their own time off requests to let him know they wouldn't be around.

It had him thinking about Christmas, though. He needed something good for Cloud, so he stopped with the affirmations and sank a good eleven hours into doodling sketches in his journal for a new bathroom and calling around to his usual contracting spots and asking if they'd be able to put in that huge tub Cloud wanted before Christmas. It'd involve tearing down a wall and probably redoing part of the plumbing. A few places told him to go piss up a rope, but the company that put in his kitchen was willing to take on a rush job before the holidays. He paid them a deposit just to lock them in, and they said they'd come by for a visit the following week to assess what they'd need to get it done fast. He'd think of some way to keep Cloud out of the loft during that time.

Sephiroth was gonna crush the Christmas game this year.

When the satisfaction from that wore off, he was left with his own thoughts. He turned back to the mostly empty affirmation page.

Cloud Strife is

Sephiroth added the word 'my'.

Cloud Strife is my

Playing it all from the top in his mind, he found himself being burned by Cloud's very first words and the look on his face when he said them. You said there's nothing I could do to make you stop loving me! Why would Cloud fucking say that? In front of Vincent, who was his dad. He'd always been his dad... but it was his dad. And in front of Dr. Hojo, a man who'd been probing him for weaknesses since he was born. Not to mention Rhonda and April, who were the two women in his life he cared the most about what they thought of him, and apparently both thought he wasn't shit.

He joked about being Cloud's bitch, but it was not a joke to Cloud. He could do anything to Sephiroth that he wanted. And he intended to push that envelope until he got... what? What did Cloud want?

Sephiroth replayed the events again and again, trying to figure out the answer to that question.

On Thursday afternoon, there was a brief knock on the door before Zack let himself in, "Hey!"

Sephiroth's face lit up in a rare, huge smile, "Hey, you're back already?"

"Yeah! Things are super easy when the President's gone!" he said, sitting across from him and throwing his keys, wallet, and cell phone face down onto Sephiroth's desk. "I'm so beat. I'm gonna head home, just thought I'd bug you for a second."

Sephiroth was already suspicious, and looked from the random shit thrown onto his desk up at Zack, "Bug me?"

"Yeah! You know how I always bug you. Why don't you tell me every little thing you've been thinking and feeling the past few days?"

Sephiroth's expression flattened.

"Or don't," Zack held up his hands innocently, his charming smile not moving an centimeter. "I was just casually wondering what your innermost feelings about Cloud are?"

Sephiroth picked Zack's phone up, and to very little surprise there was currently a call on speaker phone and the caller ID was none other than 'Cloud'.

"Abort abort!" Zack cried, and suddenly the call ended.

Sephiroth glared at him as he handed Zack's phone back, "Seriously? Why doesn't he just call me himself?"

Zack took his phone back with a grimace, and began picking up the rest of the stuff he'd thrown on Sephiroth's desk, "He's really upset."

"I'm really upset. Nobody gives a fuck about that, though. Nobody's even spoken to me in two weeks except you, and it's just fuckin' intel for Cloud? Get out!"

"No way! Of course everyone cares about you! You're just really," Zack's hands moved through the air, "Prickly right now."

"No I'm not. You haven't even been around lately."

"And yet I always know everything. I'm just that person. Also Cloud's been blowing up my phone since the second you guys stopped talking."

"Awesome. I don't have anybody to talk to but a fuckin' shrink."

"At least they're qualified. I'm probably not the best listener but you could always talk to me about sensitive stuff if you want to."

Sephiroth glared up at him, "... You gonna tell Cloud everything I say?"

"No! I'm no good at espionage anyway," and so Zack sat and listened to Sephiroth talk for a while. Nothing really juicy or revealing or anything he couldn't have guessed himself was said, and he finally asked, "Have you thought about the clone?"

"Thought what about the clone?" Sephiroth asked in annoyance. "I wanna kill it. Those are my thoughts."

"If you were gonna do it, it'd already be done. You're not gonna kill him. Now what?"

"I guess we do whatever Cloud wants to do," he huffed. "He spends a couple hours in the lab and manages to do all this... I spent a lifetime in there screamin' at the top of my lungs and I never got the results he got in a couple hours. So I'm doin' somethin' wrong. Or he's just... a real person, and I'm not."

"This is probably the time to tell you that you're a figment of my imagination."

"Fuck you. You know what I mean."

"I'm hearing you, but it's like I'm listening to some sad story you're telling yourself because you wanna feel worse. It's not how anyone else sees things. I don't really think you believe it, either. You're just kind of... angsturbating. And I'm speaking as a psychic, if angst came out in liquid form it'd just be coating the walls of this place."

"If you're so smart, how do I stop it?"

"I dunno," Zack gave him a deep shrug. "Stop feeling sorry for yourself and speak your truth?"

"You sure you really want me to speak my truth?"

"Of course."

"I cannot believe you actually fucked Cloud's mom."

"... Okay, also speaking my truth, I can't believe you fuck Cloud," Zack cupped his hands as thought he was holding something tiny. "He's like a woodland creature."

Sephiroth turned a little in his chair and narrowed his eyes in disgust, "... Do you think I'm takin' advantage of him?"

"He's short and broke," Zack stated bluntly. "What's there to take advantage of?"

"That's what April said."

"She's a fine one to talk about taking advantage of people! I ate her out for forty-five minutes and after she finished she told me I was terrible at it!"

Sephiroth let out a gagging sound and laughed, "... Do you think I'm a creep for datin' a Cadet?"

"What? No! Nobody else thinks that, either. The worst thing I've ever heard about you guys is that you're really... mismatched and it doesn't look like you'd go together or have anything in common at all... and maybe some people think it's kinda funny," what Zack left out was the part where people assumed Cloud must possess interstellar sexual capabilities and/or a comically large penis. The funny part was that both points were actually quite true, "But after two seconds with you guys, everyone sees how good you are together. And what's April even trying to say? You can't get laid so you gotta pick off a Cadet? I mean that's just stupid! I saw people throw themselves at you for years! At the very worst, you just have like, a really specific fetish for short, broke guys and the person who embodies it just happened to be a couple years younger. Big deal!"

Truth was awfully refreshing when he heard it, and Zack was like a blast of sunshine. Sephiroth snorted and laughed a little with him, but then said, "Maybe I'm takin' advantage of like... how normal he makes me feel."

"How is that taking advantage of him? It isn't. It's being with someone who makes you feel good about being yourself. You wanna know what Cloud said to me about you today?"

Sephiroth's mouth inched to one side in thought, "... Yeah."

"Well too bad! If he didn't get any dirt on you, you don't get dirt on him. But I'll tell you what I think," Zack sat back in his chair. "If you want it to work and to not drive each other crazy, you need to let him help you with this baggage you've got. You can't ask him to just ignore it and pretend it isn't there. That's like asking him to ignore... your... I dunno, your left leg."

"I could get it amputated."

"You're not even being serious, how can I?"

"I dunno, this is just so stupid. All this over a clone."

"Have you talked to it?"

"No."

"Maybe you should."

"And say what? Just the idea of goin' to talk to it, and visit it like it's a little person – ugh! God. No. I'm not doin' that."

"That's my expert advice. Now I need to go home and get yelled at," and with that, Zack stood up.

"Yelled at for what? You been gone for like nine days."

"Yeah, with Aerith's special heating pad. I just wanted it for my butt on the airship, I didn't know it was a lady's thing," Zack waved his hand in dismissal. "I'll bring tacos home, she'll forgive me. I'll see ya tomorrow! Go talk to the clone, you'll feel better. And go talk to Cloud, you'll feel even better than that! What are you doing here? This place is a ghost town, get a life."

"You get a life, stop tryin' to fix other people's problems."

"I can't help being a hero! See you later," Zack smiled, and shut the door behind himself.

In the silence he left behind, Sephiroth returned to what he had been doing, feeling entirely different as he reread his own words on the paper.

Cloud Strife is my

Sephiroth completed the sentence carefully with a final word, but it was just a guess. It felt a little too raw to look at, so he scratched it out. He wrote something easier, Cloud Strife is my boyfriend.

No he wasn't. Sephiroth scribbled that out and rewrote what he originally had.

Cloud Strife is my hero.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

As the sky began to turn orange just after four o'clock, he poked his head out of his office, "Shelly, would it be a big deal if we left for the day?"

She turned around and looked at him incredulously, "I work for you. Why are you asking me?"

So he told her, "Let's go home."

"But what about the seminar? Don't you need to actually have a plan in place? I mean, there's at least the waiver forms. And the training floor guys have a bunch of regulations for you to go over. And the cafeteria never got your meal requests, if you're planning to feed them from there. And you need to request sleeping bags from the depot. And last time you did a seminar you had hand outs, did you need me to photocopy anything?"

"... No."

"No to the handouts, or no to... everything?"

"I've been kinda distracted."

"By what?"

He'd written about half a page in his journal, and the energy that took exceeded everything she just threw out for planning a Cadet seminar, "Personal shit."

His uncomfortable answer made her realize she'd just questioned her superior, and she lifted her hands apologetically, "Sorry I asked, it's none of my business. I just meant it like, do you need my help with anything?"

"No, I just need to get out of here for a while. I'll come back tonight and get everything ready for the seminar."

"Want me to come in early tomorrow to help?" she asked, visibly gritting her teeth as she awaited his answer.

"Nah. I can do it. I'll need your help in the morning, but don't worry about comin' in early or anything."

And so Shelly left with a skip in her step, and Sephiroth decided to take Zack's advice and went down to the medical lab.

He almost knocked on the clone's door, but just put in the keycode. The clone was laying on his little kid bed, reading a Zoobook about turtles.

"... Awright, let's get it over with," the clone said, throwing down the book and sitting up with the tired mannerisms of a much, much older person. "I don't like bein' choked. I know you don't know kung fu but I feel like if you just punch me real good in the chest it'd probably do it. Or you got a gun on you?"

"I'm not gonna kill you," Sephiroth told him, stopping short of adding 'yet' onto that statement. "I need to figure out what to do about you and I can't think anymore."

"Tell 'em to up your Ritalin again."

"What the fuck are you?"

"I dunno," the clone answered somewhat defensively. "That's a stupid question. Who the fuck is anybody?"

"Not who, what. What are you?"

"Lemme see your phone real quick."

"No," was the automatic response.

The clone patted his little hand on the floor, "C'mon, just slid it over."

He hesitated, but pulled it out of his pocket and slid it across the floor. The kid picked it up, tapped at the screen and buttons for a few moments, and then slid it back across to him.

Sephiroth picked it up curiously, and saw the clone had pulled up the notepad app, Did you tell anybody what happened when you grabbed me?

"No," Sephiroth answered, quickly deleting the note. "Did you?"

"Hell no."

He slowly leaned against the doorway, "... What've they been doin' to you?"

"Nothin' actually. I got mako dialysis, but that's all. People come by and bring me food or take me to the bathroom if I press the help button."

"I never got that kinda service."

"I know, they seem soft around here. Rhonda even brought me all these," he lifted up one of the Zoobooks, and pointed to a big stack of many other types of books beside his bed. "Guess her babies have a billion books they're too little to read. That's kind of it... I think they're bein' nice to me 'cause I'm about to end up in a tube."

"Has Cloud been here?"

"He brought me a pizza and read me a couple books... three days ago, I guess. Maybe longer, it was Saturday. I dunno what day it is now."

"Thursday," Sephiroth answered. "You're not a real kid, you let him read to you? You're gross."

"What else I got to do?" the clone asked. "If people wanna read to me I'll let 'em."

"You really wanna live like this?"

"... Gimme your phone again."

This time Sephiroth didn't argue about it, he just slid it over to him. When it came back from the clone, the notepad message read, When we did that weird thing, I wasn't sure which one of us I was after you let go. I was kind of relieved that I was still me.

This time Sephiroth deleted his words and added his own before sliding it back to him. After seeing how nicely Tseng could text, he put in a little effort, Me too jfc. I know how you felt when you killed all those people, but you picked the wrong ones. It's bad. People want you dead.

The clone picked the phone up and read these words somberly, "... Can I play with your phone for a second?"

"For what?"

The child was already tapping around, "I wanna listen to music. Silence is drivin' me crazy."

Lana Del Rey started playing, and Sephiroth bristled, "You can't tell Cloud I listen to this!"

"I won't, I don't wanna have that conversation, either. I just wanna listen to something."

Sephiroth closed the door so nobody else would hear this if they approached the room, and hesitantly took a seat on a folding chair in the corner.

They listened to one song, and then another. The clone was sitting on his bed and looking at the news, at the time, at the date, at everything and drinking in information that wasn't packaged for children.

He found himself looking over all the details of the clone, wondering if this was how he really looked as a child. He doubted it. He might have been wearing similar skin, but this was someone completely different. Just by virtue of them both existing in the same place at the same time, they had to be different. Even connecting for that one strange moment, they were still separate people who clinged to that individuality. Something echoed in Sephiroth's mind about ego death, but he didn't know where he'd heard that, just that it must have had something to do with the clone's relief to remain himself even if it meant he was in a kid's body in the lab.

He looked at Sephiroth, and seemed to be sizing him up for several moments, "... You look weird."

"You look weird," was the immediate answer.

"You don't look how I thought I looked," he said, not really making sense. But looking at Sephiroth wasn't like looking in a mirror. The difference between image he held in his mind of 'myself' and how Sephiroth, the person, looked through child eyes was striking. When Sephiroth looked in the mirror he thought he looked like a man. But he didn't look like a man, or a woman, or anything that belonged on Earth. Sephiroth, the person, was so fucking beautiful that it was irritating.

"What the fuck are you talkin' about?" Sephiroth asked, his angel face distorted in confusion and looked that much prettier.

"You're ugly."

"You're ugly."

"Is it weird to wanna be me?"

"I dunno," Sephiroth answered, unsure of what else to say.

"The longer I'm... me... the less I wish I was you. I wouldn't count on me as your retirement plan. If you even live that long."

"You got somethin' better in mind?"

"Yeah," the clone said, and looked through his Zoobooks until he found the right one. He tossed it the short distance to Sephiroth like a frisbee and it landed by his feet.

The subject of this book was chocobos. Sephiroth hesitantly picked it up, "What?"

"If I ever do get outta here, I wanna work with animals."

"You wanna be a farmer?" Sephiroth asked doubtfully, flipping through each page just to make sure nothing was hidden and this wasn't another means of passing a message.

It wasn't, the little boy was being honest, "Maybe I could get a job at the zoo. I could clean shit up all day. Get a dog. I dunno. Maybe I could work with the animal division if they make me be in the army. All I got is time to think... and the more I think... I wouldn't wanna be a General. I've been that already. I can be anything I want now."

"You're prob'ly just gonna be dead."

"Yeah."

Sephiroth flipped through the thin little book on chocobos, full of big, bright photographs of the birds and the people who took care of them. At age five or six-years-old, he would have cut someone's throat for the chance to have a big stack of books to look through at his leisure and pore over all the charts and details and diagrams. They threw things like this away as fast as Vincent could bring them to him.

"... Has Vincent come by?" he heard himself ask.

"No, thank God!"

"But Cloud did."

"Yeah."

"Is it weird? Hangin' out with him?"

"He's a great babysitter but that's as far as it went, I swear," the clone laughed for a moment at saying this out loud, actually a little giddy to be free of a broken heart. "I mean, I love him. But it's a way different kinda love... if history's repeatin' itself and he's gonna be my Vincent Valentine, maybe I'll start talkin' in a Nibelheim accent."

"... Vincent's my biological dad. Hojo finally said it."

"Gross."

"Yeah. I thought havin' someone actually say it would make me feel... different."

"They all fucked us up. Well, you up. I'm fucked up in a whole new way."

"You're lookin' at at least twenty-five years in this place," Sephiroth reminded him, and returned the book by tossing it back onto his bed. "You sure you wouldn't rather die?"

"I'm not sure of anything, especially whether I wanna be alive or not. I also had a weird thought, like... what if I never grow up? What if I just stay this way forever like that little bitch from Interview with the Vampire?"

Sephiroth found that funny, but refused to actually let himself laugh at something this thing said to him. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously and figured it wasn't worth it to keep his feelings a secret, "Killin' you would make everyone's lives easier."

"You think Vincent ever thought that?"

Sephiroth didn't have a snappy retort. He thought about it for a few moments, "Yeah. He probably did."

"I've got a real loose attachment to this mortal coil, so if you wanna do it, just do it," the clone laughed a little as he gestured to himself, and it was an unhinged little sound. "Cloud decided to play hero and rescue me... but I know it ain't about me. Even them bein' nice to me, the books, the food whenever I want it, usin' a toilet whenever I want... it's about you. These people are tryin' to make right what they fucked up with you."

"... I feel so stupid," Sephiroth heard himself admit. "Talkin' to you like this."

"How do you think I feel? Fuck you."

"Gimme my phone back."

"One more song!"

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Even though it was only seven o'clock, the day was done. It was getting dark earlier and earlier, and getting colder and colder outside. Since they had a big weekend coming up with Sephiroth's seminar, Cloud and Cameron skipped the gym and were indulging in a little laziness.

Cameron was on his bed, his laptop open on his stomach and angled toward Cloud and Psycho. They were bundled together on Cloud's bed, both sort of trying to watch Blade Runner but mostly falling asleep. He was really sore, but as comfortable as possible in his FUTURE SOLDIER hoodie and a stolen pair of Sephiroth's sweatpants. He kept drifting off to sleep only to be rudely awakened by another noisy, all-too-brief action sequence, or by Psycho getting up to turn in a cat circle only to lay back down in the same position beside him again.

"Pay attention," Cameron demanded when he noticed Cloud was falling asleep. He was only in his briefs with no blanket despite the window on his side being open and a winter chill in the room. Something about acclimating his body temperature for the SOLDIER uniform and burning calories while shivering in his sleep.

Cloud's body was the opposite, he needed every calorie he could get. He wished there was some way to siphon the calories Cameron didn't need or want. That would probably mean becoming a vampire.

Cloud rubbed his eyes and tried to get interested in the movie. It would at least kill another couple of hours of missing Sephiroth. Tomorrow was Friday, and at 4pm the seminar would begin on the training floor of Headquarters. Cloud wondered how Sephiroth was feeling... if he missed him... if he felt too betrayed to miss him... if he found this break to be refreshing and might want to prolong it or break up altogether...

It all settled on his soul with a familiar kind of melancholy. Lovesick sadness was definitely a form of mental masturbation that something dark in his core enjoyed. Twisting the knife in his own heart just for the fuck of it, Cloud started to imagine Sephiroth cruising through HQ for some tall, handsome stud with arm veins to try out. Why not? But maybe Mr. Arm Veins might have some nervous erectile dysfunction, being suddenly picked up by the General and all. That made Cloud feel a little better. But he had the feeling Sephiroth would be really sweet and understanding about that sort of thing. Picturing Sephiroth being nice to some random guy's soft dick made Cloud feel worse than ever.

"Stop sighin'!" Cameron finally snapped. "You sigh like every two seconds."

"I'm breathing. Am I not allowed to breathe anymore?"

"Not like dis!" and Cameron let out a long, dramatic sigh. Cloud let out a longer, louder one. Psycho let out a real one as he got up and left Cloud's bed.

"Great, now I'm abandoned by everybody," Cloud complained.

"WOW. Guess I'm chopped fuckin' liver."

"Love you to death, but sort of."

"Ya wanna watch somethin' else?"

Cloud sighed again before he could stop himself, "Have you ever watched Altered Carbon? It's kind of like this, but way more interesting."

"Netflix originals put in too much porn."

"It's not porn. It's... spicy."

"I just like my porn to be porn an' my shows to be shows. I don't wanna sit here an' watch a naked dude avenge his dead wife or whatever tha fuck it's about."

"It's kind of about that. But there are a lot more naked ladies in it, and I don't mind at all. I appreciate how every boob is essential to the plot."

"You're so brave," Cameron increased the volume on his laptop until the roar of ambient 80's sci-fi synth music filled the room.

"I need to watch something entertaining right now, Cam!"

"Shaddup an' give it a chance!"

"I hate Harrison Ford's haircut in this!"

"What? This is tha best he ever looked!"

"What if Sephiroth breaks up with me tomorrow!?"

Cameron paused the movie and the room went silent, "... He finally say somethin'?"

"No. That's a bad sign, right? It means he wants to break up face to face."

"Pshhtt! No way. If he wanted to break up he'd send a text, boom, done."

Cameron was his only friend that Cloud had actually told everything to, because he thought he might die if he didn't have someone to talk to. Cloud sat up in bed and let out a shaky breath, "Would you have let him just kill the clone?"

"... I dunno."

"You have an opinion on everything. What would you have done?"

"We're way different in relationships. I prob'ly woulda dropped it and never thought about dat kid again. I pick battles an' keep things peaceful... but you? You don't ever fuckin' stop once somethin's in yer head. You're fuckin' nuts an' he's gotta know it by now, you been together forever. If he don't love yer crazy shit by now then he must not love you," Cameron concluded before he thought better of it.

They sat in silence for a few moments.

Cameron eventually plugged his headphones into his laptop, "You got tha Netflix password, right? Watch somethin' spicy on yer phone an' forget it."

"... Okay," He managed a shaky smile.

He gave Cloud a wide, genuine smile in return and put his headphones on.

Cloud picked up his phone, saw how completely devoid it was of notifications from Sephiroth, and then put it back down. He thought maybe a little fun poke from Zack might prompt... something. Anything. Apparently not.

He rolled over onto his stomach and looked through the broken blinds at the flashing lights from Shin-Ra HQ in the distance. Cloud's nostrils flared and he ordered himself not to cry. It didn't work, and a couple of tears spilled down his cheek.

He wanted to be excited about the seminar, about seeing Sephiroth, about actually getting to learn from him in a real group training environment. He already knew what it felt like to see Sephiroth after some time apart, and was more than ready to keep his respectful distance. It was only going to take one look from him to let Cloud know where he stood, and how this break had impacted their relationship.

He hoped it didn't impact them at all... but there was always a chance... what if the lack of his clingy energy in his life was a relief? Why did he have to smother Sephiroth and get in his business? Why was he always too much?

Cloud curled up in his blanket and closed his eyes, and his mind conjured an image of the look on Sephiroth's face that would tell him that everything was going to be alright. And just for torturous fun, the look that would tell him it was all over. Everything's alright. Everything's over. Alright. Over.

The room went dark. Cameron had turned the lamp on the nightstand off, and dimmed his laptop screen.

"Night Cam..." Cloud said. He had his headphones on and hadn't heard.

"Nighty-night," Psycho answered instead from the dirty laundry basket.

Very soon Cloud was asleep and Cameron was deep into the movie.

"Mommy!" Psycho suddenly shouted, getting up from the laundry basket and sitting by the door. Cameron couldn't hear anything, so he called out to Cloud, "Hey, Daddy!"

Cloud let out a frustrated sigh, "It's bed time."

"Big Daddy's here!" Psycho stood up and put his paws on the door. When neither Cloud or Cameron responded, the cat repeated himself, "Big Daddy's here!"

"No he's not," Cloud patted his bed without opening his eyes. "Come here and sleep."

A soft knock on the door made Cloud's eyes shoot open. He seized his phone and there was a fucking text from Sephiroth sent twenty minutes prior, hey bb can I come over for a minute?

"Oh my God, he is here!" Cloud gasped. He threw off his blankets and manhandled the lamp on the nightstand until it was on, and then immediately tripped over Cameron's laptop cord and went stumbling all the way to the door.

He slipped off his headphones curiously, "Wha's up?"

"Please get out!" Cloud begged him in a shrill whisper. Psycho had his paws on the door, so Cloud picked him up before he ripped it open.

Sephiroth was standing there in his full uniform, armor and everything. He wasn't wearing either expression that Cloud's mind had conjured for good news or bad news about their future.

His expression was much, much more vulnerable, "You got a haircut."

Cloud's face was red, "Oh yeah, I did! Just a little one. The back was getting kind of long."

"It looks good..." then words began falling out of Sephiroth's mouth, "Baby, I'm sorry for just showin' up like this, I just wanted to talk to you... can I come in for a minute?"

The word 'baby' gave Cloud a chill up his back and through his arms, "Of course!"

Sephiroth stepped inside the dorm room and made himself much shorter to acknowledge the red cat in Cloud's arms, who was sticking his neck out impossibly long to reach him. He scratched Psycho's face with both gloved hands, "How's life treatin' you lately?"

"I gots a new collar!"

"Whoah, that's an official service animal collar," he said, sounding impressed. "You joinin' the army, too?"

"Yep! I gots battle trainin' classes next year," Psycho told him, purring proudly.

"You sure are gettin' big," Sephiroth complimented.

"Your mom thinks so, too," was Psycho's response.

It surprised a laugh out of Sephiroth, and he looked at Cloud, "... You were asleep this early?"

Cloud was too busy adoring Sephiroth to even think about how he must look right now. But Sephiroth knew better than anybody what Cloud looked like when he first woke up, so there was no point in denying it, "I couldn't stay awake. We were watching this weird old movie, uh... Sling Blade?"

"Blade Runner," Cameron corrected, moving around the room to throw some clothes on for a hasty exit.

"I've seen most of that one. Super boring."

"Right?" Cloud shrieked in laughing agreement, forgetting for a split second that they were... on a break? He looked up into Sephiroth's eyes and they were locked onto him and burning green. It didn't feel like they were on a break anymore.

Cameron paused after pulling on a t-shirt, immune to the tension between them, "What's a good movie to you two?"

"House Bunny," Sephiroth answered with his most serious General voice while still staring into Cloud's eyes.

Cameron let out a baffled noise, and Cloud laughed in delight. As many scary movies as Sephiroth had shown Cloud, he'd shown him romantic comedies right back. House Bunny had become something they often put on in the background when they just wanted to exist near each other while doing other work.

Sephiroth gave Psycho one last long stroke down the center of his back and to the tip of his tail, and added a little extra ignition to the flaming end of it, making Psycho purr even louder. He stood up tall and let out a long breath through his nose, and his hands slipped from Psycho's red fur to where Cloud's hands were cradling him.

It was just a gentle brush of his gloved fingers, but they lingered there and his hands were so warm. They trailed up Cloud's forearms and then down to his hips, "How you been?"

"Okay," Cloud breathed. "You?"

"Okay," Sephiroth murmured in agreement, pulling a little on the pockets of Cloud's hoodie.

"Uh, hello?" Psycho reminded them of his presence, caught right between the two walls of Sephiroth and Cloud's chests.

"Sorry," Sephiroth said to him, backing off. "Cloud's hot."

"I mean, if that's your type," the cat conceded, but clearly didn't agree.

Cloud let out a hiss, "Cam!"

"Workin' on it!" Cameron was now dressed and had everything he needed, and took Psycho from Cloud. The cat howled in protest but quieted down as he was thrown over Cameron's shoulder and given a pat on the butt, "We'll be in tha study room."

"Thanks," Sephiroth told him, moving apologetically to the side to allow him to leave.

"Yes, Sir," he said with as much of a salute as he could do holding Psycho and his laptop. "See ya at the seminar!"

"See ya."

"Thank you," Cloud whispered to him, and then shut and locked the door behind him. He pressed his forehead against the door and took a breath to steel his nerves and ignore the pulsing ache that was now in his sweatpants enough to have a meaningful conversation.

"Seph, I'm so sorry... I've been thinking a lot about things from your point of -" he turned around and paused.

Sephiroth was taking off his armor. He tossed one scuffed up shoulder pauldron onto Cloud's bed, which caught it with a shrieking groan of his springs. The other one he set down more gingerly on the floor, then looked at Cloud, "Sorry."

Cloud became light-headed with how fast the blood redistributed in his body, "It's okay! Please make yourself comfortable... but I have been thinking a lot, and I mean you have every right to be mad, and I understand..."

Sephiroth took his coat off and dropped it on Cloud's bed, then bit off his gloves and let them join the armor on the floor. The way he shrugged out of his suspenders made his arms flex before going to work on his SOLDIER belt with fast fingers.

Cloud realized his mouth was fully open and closed it. Then tried to begin again, "I think your reaction to everything was so amazing, honestly. I know how horrible that must have been for you, and the fact you didn't just burn the whole place down is like..."

Sephiroth's boots were on the floor, and he was pulling his socks off with his hair spilling over one shoulder, "... I'm listening."

"I... don't think I can have this talk if you don't have a shirt on."

"Good," Sephiroth smiled brightly and unbuttoned his leather pants.

"No!" Cloud laughed, and ran to him. He almost forgot to be shy, but it crept back a little bit when he found himself reach around Sephiroth's waist to pull him close.

Sephiroth brushed his hands up the back of Cloud's neck, and sank them into his freshly trimmed hair, "Your haircuts have the coolest texture."

"I've been obsessed with it all week," Cloud admitted with a laugh, and ran his hands up Sephiroth's back between his shoulder blades. "Seph... I don't know what to do right now."

"I swear this isn't the reason I came over here, but can we just not talk for a minute?"

"Yeah," Cloud smiled, and had enough time to suck in a quick breath before being grabbed into a hard kiss. It was too rough and sudden and full of sharp teeth, so Cloud worked to soften it with a gentle pass of his tongue. Sephiroth let out a long exhale and relaxed a little, and the kiss slowed into something much more intimate and savory.

Cloud then led Sephiroth backwards into the bathroom with his lips. Once they were closed inside that tiny space together, it seemed to transport then to a different dimension where there were there was nothing to talk about at all. It was just them.

"I miss you," Cloud said against his mouth.

Sephiroth trapped Cloud in front of the sink, and a shudder slid through his frame, "How much you want right now?"

"All of it. Anything."

"Put your arms up," Sephiroth told him, and slid Cloud's hoodie up and off in one swift motion that left most of his hair fluffed upwards. Sephiroth's fingers dug appreciatively into his sculpted flesh as he raked them down his chest, stomach, and to the top of his sweatpants, "Hey. I was lookin' for these pants."

"I borrowed them," Cloud grinned guiltily, and it normally would have only taken a gentle push to make them fall off his hips, but they were draped over hard cock. He pushed them down off the tip and it bounced up between Sephiroth's thighs.

"I kinda want you to fuck me," Sephiroth admitted in a quick, questioning breath. "That cool?"

Cloud couldn't even form an emphatic enough response to that suggestion, and nearly headbutted Sephiroth in his fervor to kiss him again. His hands were greedy and feeling up Sephiroth's big arms and perfect, fucking supermodel chest, but he paused when he got the chance to really look up at his face in the way-too-bright fluorescent light of the dorm bathroom.

Sephiroth looked exhausted. Cloud cupped his cheeks, "... Are you alright, dear?"

His silver eyebrows turned up, but he leaned into Cloud's palms and let them cradle his face, "I dunno. No."

"Come here," Cloud pulled him into a hug. A little warm, bare chest-to-chest contact made them both melt against each other. It wasn't quite what he wanted, but a long, tight hug from Cloud in that moment felt pretty fucking incredible.

Cloud stroked down the back of his hair, "How have you actually been?"

"If you and Zack's trick worked, you'd already know."

"Sorry, it was a joke."

Sephiroth kissed the side of his neck, "I know."

"Will you tell me for real, though? What's been going on? How are you?"

"Busy," he answered honestly, though most of it was by his own design. "I went to the second therapist appointment."

"Really?" Cloud gasped, "Good... I'm so proud of you."

"On Sunday I guess I'm gonna have to leave the seminar for a couple hours so I can go again. But I'll be back for the end of it... would you wanna come home with me after?"

"Why wouldn't I want to?"

"I'm not sayin' you - " Sephiroth then fought with something nasty in his own nature to respond to that question with something far more gentle, "... That's just how the question came out, I didn't mean anything by it other than like... will you come home?"

"Yes, of course!" Cloud hugged him tight again. "Seph, I'm sorry... I'm so, so sorry. I never meant to -"

Sephiroth lost his patience and let out a gust of air, "Will you shut up and fuck me?"

"We're not meat! You really expect me to just fuck you when I don't even know if you're okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Seph, I'm so sorry about what mom said, she – "

Sephiroth covered up Cloud's mouth with one hand, "Do not mention her right now!"

Cloud laughed behind his hand.

Sephiroth looked into his eyes, "I'm fine. I came here to talk but you are... so completely hot, I really just wanna crank one out with you. And I mean crank in the most romantic, love-making context possible. Understand? Blink once for yes, twice for no."

Cloud's eyes were smiling, and blinked a single time.

Sephiroth slowly moved his hand, fully expecting Cloud to have more to say.

He didn't. He reached up to wrap his arms around Sephiroth's neck. Sephiroth wasn't in the mood to hear it, but Cloud tried to tell him how sorry he was, and how much he loved him with that kiss. Cloud's heart hammered against Sephiroth's until their lips came apart and Cloud went to work getting Sephiroth's pants off.

Peeling leather down long legs put Cloud on one knee on the floor, and he decided to get right to the point. He eagerly licked up between Sephiroth's balls and all the way up to the head. There wasn't precum yet, but once he started sucking, a little hint of salt spread across his tongue.

Sephiroth was rough about grabbing his hair and pushing it deep. Cloud tried to brace himself against his thighs but it came as an attack that made him gag once, twice, three times before he let him come up for a mercy gasp for air.

Cloud looked up with wet eyes, and with a more practiced angle he was able to take him all the way down his throat. He didn't give a fuck if Sephiroth wanted to be rough, he was totally up for it. He tilted his head and let Sephiroth see it press against his cheek from the outside as he came up with another gasp.

"I know you got some lube around here," Sephiroth pushed Cloud's hair out of his face so he could see him better.

"Mm-hm," Cloud affirmed with his lips sliding across his balls. He was in no hurry to move, especially when Sephiroth put one of his feet on the toilet seat. He moved his hands up the long, long length of Sephiroth's thighs and eagerly tilted his head to get further underneath with his tongue. His ass smelled and tasted like hot leather, and it triggered a low moan in Cloud's throat.

Sephiroth lurched ticklishly when Cloud began to literally just inhale deeply down there. He took a handful of his hair and pulled him out, kind of adoring the dazed smile that he found on Cloud's reddened lips, especially when they didn't skip a beat in slurping up the throbbing head of Sephiroth's cock again and letting it pop.

"Try to be quiet," Sephiroth whispered to him.

"Yeah... you're not supposed to be here are you?" Cloud murmured, then stuck his tongue out and ran it up the underside of his cock.

There were levels to that statement, and Sephiroth smirked down at him, "... That looks so good baby."

Cloud dug the tip of his tongue into the slit of Sephiroth's cock for a moment before getting to business. It was actually kind of handy that he was on his knees because he only had to lean over a little bit to open the cabinet under the sink. He reached into his black zipped bag where he kept a few private necessities and dug around to find some lube.

He poured some out on his palm and warmed it up a little, and then over Sephiroth's cock to offer it a little more love before slipping his fingers down to cup his balls and then underneath. His hole was so tiny and pink and puckered and perfect, and Cloud looked at it like he would a kitten as he slid his middle finger up inside, then pulled out for a little more lube before pushing up two.

"I'm prob'ly good to go," Sephiroth said, still pushing Cloud's hair off his forehead. Even when he wasn't sucking cock he was still making some inexplicably cute faces down there.

Cloud gazed all the way up into Sephiroth's eyes, just allowing the luck of being able to look up at this fucking gorgeous man wash over him. Sephiroth wasn't making eye contact, but was looking between Cloud's legs. He glanced down and saw his cock was drooling a thread of precum all the way down to the floor.

"You're good to go, too," Sephiroth licked his lips and took his foot off the toilet seat. "How we gonna do this?"

"Sit."

Sephiroth obeyed, and allowed Cloud to pick up his thighs and push them back, inverting him very gently against the back of the toilet. His feet rested on the shower stall door and he gave Cloud a curious look, "I feel like I've been here before."

"I've sent you lots of pictures from that angle," Cloud giggled, "You, me and our Boyfriend have had some good times right where you're sitting!"

"Did you borrow him, too?" Sephiroth asked, not needing to rest his feet on the shower door. He pulled back his knees extremely easily while pushing up his hips in a position that seasoned porn stars probably had to stretch out and practice to achieve.

"... Haven't seen him in a while, I'll look around," Cloud lied. The pink dildo was currently in that black zipper bag underneath the sink, but he didn't want to give up the whereabouts of a perfectly good phallus that could last longer than six minutes, and couldn't go behind Sephiroth's back and complicate his life.

"C'mon," Sephiroth invited, reaching down to cup the back of Cloud's thighs and pull him closer.

He just had to pause to once again survey the fucking feast that was Sephiroth's body... he rubbed his cock up between Sephiroth's balls and back down to brush against his opening. Cloud had to squat down just a little to line himself up, and his thigh muscles screamed in agony from the week of training and the nights at the gym. But Sephiroth looked so good with us knees up high and his rippled stomach and chest all curved up and asking for it, Cloud would rather die than ask him to move.

He had to suck it up and work through the muscle pain, this was the most important thing he'd done with these muscles in two weeks! So he gently pushed his head in, watching Sephiroth's face for any sign of discomfort. A couple inches later Sephiroth suddenly tightened, and Cloud pulled away just to push back in to meet that tight spot.

One of Sephiroth's hands slid up to cup Cloud's ass, "Like that."

"Mm-hm?" Cloud circled one hand around Sephiroth's cock, and the other attempted stabilization on the back of the toilet. The sheer logistics in being the top was just enough to distract Cloud from blowing his entire load on the way Sephiroth began to catch his breath underneath him.

Cloud didn't waste the effort to try and be silent, it felt too good to be this close to him. It was like sheer joy was wrapping around his cock and pulling him in - Sephiroth loved him! He wanted him in every way, and they were running toward each other instead of waiting until it was deemed safe by some stupid therapist. Sephiroth had always been the safest place to be, and it felt especially true with his legs draped over Cloud's shoulders.

He wanted to do this forever, but Cloud was literally performing modified squats and fighting with everything he had to keep this perfect angle. His entire body began to shake, and Cloud pulled out with a gasp, "Ah, fuck! Sorry dear..."

There was an involuntary drop of disappointment in Sephiroth's tone, "Already?"

"No, no, not yet! Just a tiny break," Cloud stood up to straighten out his legs for a moment, shaking each one before getting back into position and sliding in deep. He was a drummer, it was very easy to find that rhythm again, and he had Sephiroth's cock twitching beautifully between them before he began to shake again and his body literally forced itself to stop.

"You okay?" Sephiroth asked.

"Of cour- " Cloud cut himself off, hissing in pain as he lost the battle to a particularly painful spasm. He pulled out of Sephiroth and dropped down on one knee, "Just one second!"

Sephiroth put his legs down and swung one over Cloud to stand up, "You sit."

Cloud shakily managed to climb up onto the toilet seat and fell down with a grunt, "Sorry..."

"I'm not."

Cloud bit his lower lip but couldn't help but let out a groan as Sephiroth sank down onto him. He felt so good, even his cock rubbing up against Cloud's stomach felt good. Cloud grabbed onto it and rocked up hips up underneath him, wanting to be balls deep immediately.

Changing positions had it charms, and this one put Sephiroth's chest right in Cloud's face. He couldn't resist sticking his tongue out to lick Sephiroth's nearest pale nipple, and was surprised when Sephiroth grabbed the back of his hair.

"Bite it if you're gonna do it," he said.

Cloud was happy to. He let his tongue come all the way out of his mouth to lick the beautiful, rounded pectoral muscle before he focused on his nipple again, this time taking it between his teeth as hard as he dared to.

They both gasped in shock. Sephiroth because something Cloud did had actually hurt, and Cloud because the inside of Sephiroth became so tight he could feel his heartbeat through his cock.

Cloud released his nipple and pressed his lips to it. He ran his tongue up between Sephiroth's chest to the underside of his chin, "Love you."

"Love you, too," Sephiroth held onto the back of the toilet and rode the little wave of Cloud's hips, pressing himself against his little lover's clumsy, erratic thrusting and smiled at the strangled moans coming out of him.

One of Sephiroth's nipples was all wet and reddened, and Cloud decided the other one should match. He licked it, and gently pulled at it with his lips before snipping his teeth down on it hard.

At this point the toilet seat snapped off the hinges. Cloud barely noticed with Sephiroth's nipple between his teeth and his cock buried all the way up inside the most beautiful man who ever existed. He wrapped his arms around Sephiroth's waist and continued to pop his hips up as best he could.

"Stop fucking!" someone shouted and started banging from the other side of the wall.

They both went still, gripping each other's shoulders and whisper-laughing with wide eyes. Laughter turned into sharp gasps when Sephiroth dropped his hips down on Cloud's, a little quicker, a little quieter.

"That made me kinda close," Sephiroth admitted on a shallow exhale of breath.

Cloud began pumping him a little faster, "Good..."

Sephiroth pulled Cloud's fingers off of his cock and kissed him, whispering against his lips, "Can I come on your face?"

Cloud laughed and answered by leaning back and sticking his tongue out as far as it could go.

Sephiroth suddenly stood up, grabbed the back of Cloud's hair to force his face up and began pumping himself, "Look at me."

It was fun watching Sephiroth's long-fingers hand stroke his cock so roughly, but Cloud tore his gaze away and shifted up to those neon eyes. He completely trusted Sephiroth not to get it in his eyes, and he really didn't even care if he did, it was fucking worth it. His tongue met the salty, swollen tip of Sephiroth's cock, then ran around the flare of the edge before a hot burst covered it in white. Sephiroth went silent and his fist went still, and more hot semen was splattering against Cloud's chin, cheek and against the back of his throat.

"Shit..." Sephiroth whispered, and let out a gasp when Cloud swallowed him all the way down until his nose pressed against his silver pubic hair.

He pulled himself from Cloud's mouth, "... Tell me where."

"Inside you..."

Sephiroth's hands sank into Cloud's hair as he dropped back down onto him, "... Why haven't you already?"

Cloud was licking semen off his lips and chin, "... Talk to me. I need you."

Sephiroth licked some of his mess off Cloud's cheek and pushed it into his mouth with his tongue. He leaned back, "You want me to say somethin' nasty to you?"

"Mm-hm! Ri-ide m-" Cloud stopped short, red faced and on the verge, but just unable to talk dirty when they were actually having sex. Or really ever. But especially not when he was deep inside Sephiroth.

"I gotta ride your cock to get that cum?" Sephiroth asked softly, moving Cloud's hands from where they were tangled in his hair to his thighs.

Cloud took Sephiroth's ass in his hands and guided him, silently begging for more of those deep drops all the way down to his balls. He was so tight now, focused and determined, and Cloud could feel little pulsing spasms inside him as a little more semen drooled from his cock and smeared against Cloud's stomach.

"I watched that video you made for me," Sephiroth said to him.

Cloud had forgotten all about that, and his stomach lurched and his entire chest broke out in an embarrassed blush.

Sephiroth grinned as he watched more reddened color fill Cloud's face and chest, "It was pretty good... but you never came. I came here to make you come for me."

Cloud shuddered, biting his lip before planting his feet and thrusting up despite the pain in his thighs, "Seph!"

Sephiroth twisted a hand in Cloud's hair, "Come on, baby."

"Seph!" Cloud thrust up one more time and grabbed two handfuls of Sephiroth's ass for dear life. The hot, initial shot made Sephiroth drop all the way down and hold it tight. He could feel Cloud pulsing inside him and let out a groan despite trying to keep quiet in the dorm... but feeling him cum inside felt so good.

As usual, Cloud didn't worry about being quiet at all. It was a little too late, but Sephiroth pushed his tongue past Cloud's lips to muffle him. Cloud kissed so messy and desperately when he was coming, and all the sounds that couldn't escape echoed in his chest and throat.

It was all just so fucking pretty that Sephiroth almost felt like he could just keep going. He kept grinding up and down for a little longer than was polite, and Cloud was almost whimpering by the time he finally eased off and let his cock slip out.

They sat on the broken toilet seat, gasping together. Sephiroth sat on Cloud's lap with his cheek lying against the top of his head, while Cloud sprawled boneless beneath him.

"I'm hurtin' you, aren't I?" Sephiroth realized, lifting his head.

"No!" Cloud's arms locked behind Sephiroth's back. "Don't go... stay with me."

He rested his cheek on Cloud's head again. They breathed together until Sephiroth approached the border of sleep. The only thing really keeping him awake were the small kisses Cloud began placing against his shoulder and neck.

He turned his head to meet Cloud's lips and kissed them, and then shakily rose up to his feet.

Cloud tried to move, but couldn't seem to manage it, "... How come you've never come over to power bottom before?"

Sephiroth took some toilet paper, "I gotta go back to work, I just wanted to make it quick... no offense, baby."

Cloud ran his fingers idly through the mess that had pooled on his lower stomach, "I understand. You're made for long endurance, and my hog's perfect for quickies."

That shocked a cough out of Sephiroth, and as laughter rolled out of him it opened up a floodgate of other emotions that he was trying very hard to keep contained. He balled up the soiled toilet paper and tossed it at Cloud, "You're annoying."

"I know," Cloud accepted without context as the wad bounced off his shoulder and into the sink. "Wanna take a shower?"

"Got somethin' I can put my hair up with?"

"Cam does," Cloud went to get up again, but weakly fell back to the wobbly broken toilet seat with a hiss.

"I'm too heavy to be sittin' on you like that," Sephiroth said, looking at Cloud for damage.

"It's not you, we've been doing another leg week challenge," Cloud was smacking the top of his thigh with his palm. "It's supposed to be a no potion challenge. It's a trick on me, everyone else is taking them. They think I don't know."

"Why don't you just take one?"

"To prove I could do it..." Cloud looked down at his long, scrawny legs in defeat. "I think I have a personality flaw."

Sephiroth let out another sharp laugh before he could stop himself. It'd been way less than two weeks really, but he already had a real appreciation for how much and how often Cloud made him laugh, "... You want a Cure? Technically you wouldn't be takin' a potion."

"You sneaky beautiful genius!"

Sephiroth laid it on him and then pulled him to his feet. Cameron had hair ties lying around everywhere, so Cloud took a couple of them and piled Sephiroth's hair up into a secure knot. It was close quarters in the little dorm shower stall, and even if Cloud had just been inside him, he couldn't seem to get close enough to Sephiroth. He just wanted to keep holding him as long as he could.

Sephiroth was taking great care in washing Cloud's face, throat and hair. He even put a little dab of exfoliate on Cloud's nose and rubbed it in little circles with his fingertips, getting up into his honey colored eyebrows too. He would have done it a lot longer, but warm water only lasted so long in the dorms. Once it became noticeably cool, they finished up and got out before it became uncomfortable.

It was still nice and toasty in the tiny bathroom, even more so when Sephiroth picked up the dryer and began to blow dry Cloud's hair with absolutely no rhyme or reason. It felt so good to have Sephiroth's hands in his hair that Cloud just watched in the mirror with a smile as he was transformed into a fluffy yellow dandelion. Sephiroth then turned the hair dryer on himself where the shower and sex sweat had matted a little of his hair in the front. Funny how he suddenly knew professional level smooth drying when it was his own hair.

They redressed and emerged from the bathroom, and somehow coming out of that humid little cocoon changed the vibe completely. Sephiroth turned his back on Cloud as he began pulling his boots on.

Cloud stuffed his hands in his hoodie pocket and meekly walked around Sephiroth to look up at him, "... It's almost nine. Are you really going back to work?"

"Yeah, I still need to figure everything for this weekend out. I haven't been able to focus on anything."

Cloud opened his mouth, but closed it without saying anything.

Sephiroth pulled his coat on, but didn't bother buttoning it. He stacked his armor, suspenders and belt and shoved it under one arm, "See you tomorrow?"

"Didn't... can we talk?"

"You literally just fucked me, why do you wanna fight? It's nice now, why can't we just be cool and leave it?"

Sex couldn't fix everything, or anything, and Cloud needed more than that. He felt like he deserved more that that, "... I don't want to fight. But I kind of need to talk to you, Sephiroth."

Resigned, he set his armor back on the floor and sat on Cloud's bed, "Talk then."

Cloud sat down on Cameron's bed across from him. The betrayed and tired look that had settled on Sephiroth's face made all flavors of shame and guilt flare in Cloud, and he felt his eyes pooling with tears and was really trying not to let any fall. Instead he tried to pick up with what little he was able to say earlier, "I know you're angry. I know I kicked up a bunch of shit I had no fucking business kicking up, and I know that sucked for you. I know it's not gonna be resolved right this second... I just need to know if we're going to be okay?"

"Yeah," was all Sephiroth offered.

"... Then why doesn't it feel okay?"

"Why is it up to me to make you feel okay? And why is it up to me to decide if we're okay? You tell me! Why can't you just tell me what to feel for once? You're better at it!" Sephiroth spoke a little louder when Cloud began to laugh, " And that's not me bein' a dick or tryin' to be funny, that's a real fuckin' thing. I'm feelin' a lot... of somethin'. And at first it was like, anger I guess. But now I'm just...I don't know what I'm feelin' or what I'm supposed to feel like, Cloud... help me."

"How?" Cloud asked in earnest.

"What do you feel like?"

"The past couple weeks I've felt... anxious. Angry at myself for bickering with you in front of everybody and leaving it so open for my mom to just shit all over you. And so fucking guilty for how I made you feel. The look on your face, I just... I didn't want to leave you alone for two weeks. I just kept seeing that look on your face... I've had a lot of bad dreams about it."

"What kinda dreams?"

He was trying so hard not to let it, but a tear fell down Cloud's face, "... It's hard to explain. Just... you with that look. And me, not able to do anything about it. I hurt you, and I let other people hurt you, and that's the opposite of anything I wanted to do and it was my fault and I couldn't stop it."

"Why do you think I'm upset?"

Cloud paused to rub more tears away, "I can imagine lots of reasons."

"Name one."

"I went to the lab behind your back without telling you?"

"I don't care about that."

Cloud blinked in surprise, "You don't?"

"You didn't need me. You made a plan, rallied support and it might even work out for the little son of a bitch. I'm not mad about what you did for him."

Cloud was so stunned his tears immediately stopped. His was stuffed up though, so he grabbed Cameron's nearby box of masturbation tissues, blew his nose and quickly threw it into the bathroom while he considered a better answer, "... You're mad that I was acting entitled and nosy and if the lab took it badly, I might have possibly endangered you, or me, or everyone?"

"We're all in danger all the time. They could run up on us and shoot both of us in the head if they wanted to. One of those reactors could blow any second and take us all out. This sector could crash down and kill us along with an eighth of the fuckin' city. I have the most hazardous job, at the most evil company, in the most unnatural place to live in the world, and you think I give a fuck about danger you could cause? Gimme a break."

Cloud's mind was reeling from a set of brand new phobias. He blinked carefully, his eyes very wide and dry, "Okay... way different angle. Do you suspect I might wanna trade you in for a younger model someday down the road?"

"Cloud," Sephiroth looked incredulous, and one half of his mouth involuntarily smiled. "You have no idea why I'm upset."

"Well neither do you!"

"I guess there's one thing... it's small, though."

Cloud leaned forward desperately, "What is it?"

"You said, in front of everyone in that room... that you can do anything to me and I'd still love you. You were so fuckin' cocky about it too, like you have me wrapped around your finger and you're just allowed to do whatever you want to me 'cause I love you. Are you like... do you even..." it was like Sephiroth was a toy that ran out of batteries. He seemed completely drained of energy.

Cloud had been holding his breath, and gasped out, "I forgot I even said that! I'm sorry I didn't realize that was why you're angry, but I agree that it was a stupid, stupid thing for me to say. All of those people know I love you Seph, there's no power play behind it, or hidden meanings, I just... I was terrified of what you might have thought when you walked in! I was trying to be cute and I thought a little joke might make you laugh or relax. It wasn't cute at all. All I can do it ask for your forgiveness, th -"

"Cloud!"

Cloud had rarely, if ever been actually yelled at by Sephiroth. His back snapped straight and he stared at him.

Sephiroth took a shuddering breath and rested his elbows on his knees. He looked down at the floor, "Just shut up for a second."

Cloud didn't know what else to do, so he got up from Cameron's bed and went to sit down beside him.

Eventually Sephiroth looked at him. One side of his mouth was curved up in an odd angle. It wasn't a smile, and when he spoke it trembled, "I've said some really horrible shit to you. Sometimes I've just been a flat out dick to you just 'cause I felt like it. I've taken all kinds of shit out on you... you never made me apologize. I never really even felt like I had to."

Cloud stared back at him, "... So?"

"Your mom had a point – "

"Don't even fucking s – "

"She did, Cloud. You really could have somethin'... simpler. If you wanted, you could have just somethin' fun and easy and with none of this shit from me. Why do you always take it? Why don't you just tell me to get out? Why don't you just tell me to go figure my shit out and call you when I'm over it, or can at least have a fuckin' conversation about it? I'm makin' you guess why I'm angry. Why'd you even let me in?"

It took a moment for Cloud to realize these preposterously stupid questions weren't rhetorical, "... I want to make something very clear to you, Sephiroth. Literal shit might as well have been coming out of my mother's mouth. If that's what got into your head, then that's all these thoughts are. Shit, shit, shit!"

The way Cloud pronounced the word shit struck Sephiroth as very funny suddenly, "Say shit again."

"Shit, shit, bullshit!" Cloud added a little extra Nibelheim stank onto it. "Maybe your therapist was right about us needing a break, but I wish I never fucking agreed to it. We aren't people who go through something difficult, don't talk for days and days, fuck each other and then leave it without talking. I don't even know what a relationship like that would even look like, it's horrible, it's not who we are, it's never going to be who we are. And I don't care how big of a dick you pretend to be sometimes, because I know why you're doing it. Something is hurting you. I'm never going to tell you to leave and call when you're over it. Over what, exactly? Your whole life? How are you supposed to get over that?"

"You make it really easy to ignore. Now I dunno if I can," he said, but the 'n' didn't quite get pronounced, it faded off into a whisper. "What if I'm this much of an asshole forever?"

"Then you're the asshole that I love forever."

"You really wanna live with that?"

"Get mom's shit out of your head. She doesn't understand you, or what goes on with us."

"Do you?"

Cloud huffed out a laugh, "I'm always trying. I need your help, too."

Sephiroth was having trouble breathing through his nose, "I guess I just..."

Cloud tried to wait patiently, but he didn't want Sephiroth to stop talking, "What?"

"Nobody ever came to rescue me like that."

Cloud didn't let another second pass, he stood up and wrapped his arms around Sephiroth's neck and held him. He didn't make any noise, but Cloud felt a few hot tears streak against his neck. Like everything else that came out of Sephiroth, even his tears were strikingly warm to the touch.

"I'm sorry," Cloud whispered to him. "I wish I could have."

"You weren't born yet," Sephiroth tried to laugh but it didn't quite come out. Instead it seemed to just force more tears out of him, so he resigned himself that this was happening and just let it, "... They could have, though. It could have been that fuckin' easy. They just didn't."

Cloud hugged him tighter, "They didn't know how. Things are so different now, they're all different now."

"Baby, I'm so sor – "

"Don't be," Cloud hugged him again even tighter. "You don't have anything to be sorry for."

"I fucked up your record cabinet."

"What?"

"I put it together wrong."

Cloud laughed a little, but it melted to concern as tears began spilling faster down Sephiroth's cheeks, "Seph, it's okay!"

"The door doesn't close right. Your record box won't fit."

"Seph... honey..." Cloud gave up on trying to brush away his fast spilling tears, and realized how helpless and kind of frantic seeing Sephiroth cry like this made him feel, he just wanted it to stop. He wondered if he made Sephiroth feel this way whenever he so often cried, and kissed the top of his head. "... It's okay."

"I'll get you a new one."

"I don't want a new one, I want the one you made. You didn't throw it away, did you?"

"No."

"Good. I want it."

Sephiroth cried until he was done. When his breathing returned to normal, Cloud gently released him and offered the box of tissues. Sephiroth blew his nose and tossed the ball into the bathroom to join Cloud's tissue.

Sephiroth let out a shuddering breath and dragged his hands down his face, "Shit. I'm sorry."

"Stop saying that, don't be."

"... Your roommate's been put out a long time. I should – "

"He can go to hell. Me and Psycho had to sleep in the study room Saturday night so he could be with his new stupid girlfriend."

"You shoulda just called me. I woulda stopped jerkin' off and picked you up in a second."

Cloud kissed him then, pressing him backwards with his lips and hands until he laid back on Cloud's bed. Sephiroth stretched out until his feet hung off the edge, and Cloud stayed up on his elbows and pressed kisses all over his lips and chin. Eventually he laid down on top of him and just acted like a human weight blanket, and soaked in the feeling of Sephiroth's body underneath his.

Sephiroth's eyes drifted to the things hanging on Cloud's wall next to where he slept. There was a push pin that his dogtags were currently hanging off of while Cloud wasn't wearing them. There was the Rolling Stone poster that dominated most of the space, plus all kinds of pictures. Some of his mom and his friends and there was an Anal Orgasm poster that had been on his wall since he was a kid in Nibelheim. But the wall was mostly covered in pictures of the two of them at different social gatherings the past year.

Cloud noticed him staring, and became a bit self conscious, "... This isn't a weird stalker shrine or anything. I just like having pictures up."

"I've never seen most of these. Where'd they even come from?"

Cloud stalked everybody he ever met on social media, including Sephiroth's friends and fan club. But he tried to say it more delicately, "... If I notice someone post a picture I like, I save it. Your fan club posted this one of us at Sweet Pea. I took a lot of them myself."

"... We're hot."

"I know!" Cloud laughed, red for no reason in particular.

"I don't have any pictures of us. Not like, printed out. I guess I have those ones from last New Year, but we're drunk and they're not that great."

"Take some for your office."

"I don't wanna take 'em from you."

"It's us, we can take more pictures!" and Cloud had multiple copies of all of them, anyway.

Sephiroth looked at each one, and then finally pointed at one, "Can I have this one?"

It was a selfie they'd taken during the last sunset of their summer vacation at the beach. Cloud was leaning on Sephiroth's shoulder, and they were both shirtless and wearing typical selfie smiles. It was cute, but in Cloud's opinion not more so than many of the others, "Why that one?"

"Sorry, you can keep it."

"No, no, I want you to have it," Cloud pulled it off the wall and gave it to him. "I'm just wondering why you want this one in particular? What do you like about it?"

Sephiroth ran his finger over the edge of it, "Guess I like it 'cause I remember everything about this exact moment. Like how loud the ocean was, and the way it smelled, and you'd been in the sun a lot and your skin was warm and dark and I could make finger print marks on you when I pressed you. And no matter how many baths we took you still tasted salty everywhere. If I put this on my desk at work, then it's like I can be there with you anytime I want. Y'know?"

"I do know," Cloud agreed, and kissed him. He then put his elbow on the pillow and smiled down at him, "I'm always relieved when you don't mind me being so lame and clingy. Some guys would see a display like this and run for their life."

"I love clingy so goddamn much."

Cloud's soft expression warped into a ghoulish grin, "Wanna see something really clingy, then?"

"... I dunno, do I?"

Cloud leaned over to look beneath his bed and came back with a folder, and Sephiroth knew exactly what it was without having to be told. Cloud hung on to everything - notes, newspaper clippings, letters, cards, a scrap of the penguin paper Sephiroth had used to wrap his Christmas gifts, receipts, a mail flier from Sephiroth's favorite pizza place, loads more pictures that didn't make the cut for the wall, a pristine copy of Sephiroth's Rolling Stone issue... then Cloud found what he was really looking for...

The crown jewel of his collection. It was a plastic sandwich bag, and inside was the torn wrapper from the one and only condom they'd ever used.

Sephiroth's mouth dropped open, "I threw that away!"

"I un-threw it!"

"Baby! That's so sick!"

"It's just the wrapper! It's not sick, we lost our virginities thanks to this little guy."

Sephiroth took the bag from him and looked at it closer. He supposed there was nothing really gross about it in and of itself, "How come I don't get to keep a wrapper? You do me with one on."

"No thanks, I'm good!" Cloud stuck out the tip of his tongue.

Sephiroth craned his neck up and licked it. Then he remembered that horrible thing he'd said to Cloud the first night they'd slept together, and felt the usual wave of embarrassment and regret, "... Do I tell you I love you enough?"

Cloud nodded with a wide smile, "You've more than made up for valuing me."

"... Be mad at me. You're lettin' me off too easy. For everything."

"Stop it," Cloud's eyebrows lowered. "I'm not mad at you. I was never mad at you."

"Cloud, I'm so sorry. I'm sor-"

He kissed the word right out of his mouth, "No more apologies. I'm banishing that word! And I'm banishing breaks. I'm never taking a break from you ever again! Who actually listens to and reads and responds to all the dumb shit I have to say except you?"

"I missed you so bad," Sephiroth finally admitted on an exhale, pressing a line of kisses down Cloud's nose to his lips. "I heard Anal Orgasm on the way to work this morning and I couldn't tell you."

"... Do you feel that?"

"Your wood on my leg?"

"Not that. This…" he gazed into Sephiroth's eyes. "... Do you feel it?"

Sephiroth knew exactly what Cloud was referring to. Biologically it was probably endorphins from sex, fighting, crying, and finally breaking through to a better, clearer mental place after nearly two weeks of self-inflicted torture. But when their lips and tongues met and that warm joy traveled up their spines in radiant waves, it really did feel like some kind of magic they were able to make together.

"I have an idea... " Cloud slid up onto Sephiroth's lap with a deep, fluid roll of his hips, and smiled down at him. "What if we go home right now and really get down to business? We can be back in time for everything tomorrow."

"If we could we'd already be gone. I really do have to go back to work," Sephiroth had momentarily forgotten about the seminar, which he hadn't actually prepared anything for yet. "I actually need to leave like, now."

Cloud pretended he didn't hear that, and rested his elbows on either side of Sephiroth's head. He languidly took his time kissing his full lips, relishing how they felt, how they parted, and how his hot tongue tasted, "... What's the sleeping situation this weekend?"

"Sleepin' bag on the floor for you guys. I'll sleep in my office."

"I'm not invited!?" Cloud asked in true outrage.

"You have to stay with the class until the seminar's over just like everyone else. We have to get it together and act like we can work together for real."

"Don't try to tell me mission sex isn't a thing, because I hear Junior SOLDIERs talking about who they hooked up with all the time!"

"Mission sex in the field might be a thing, but not in the HQ building. I toldja a hundred times, that whole place is off limits."

"What about your car?"

"I'm teachin' a class you're in, we can't sneak off together. Just the sound of that is so bad."

"But wouldn't it feel so good?" Cloud's hopeful train of thought derailed when a severe look crossed Sephiroth's face. "This is your doing. You know I'm never done when I top. If anything I'm way hornier than I was before you showed up!"

Sephiroth wasn't done with Cloud yet, either. Not even close. But being the older and more responsible one, he had to squash the constant impulse to quit his job and make a full-time career out of keeping Cloud sexually satisfied. Besides, he kind of liked leaving Cloud wanting more, "... This was my bootycall. If you didn't get enough, that's your problem."

Cloud fell forward onto Sephiroth's shoulder with a defeated little headbutt, "You just came in like a thief in the night and used my body?"

"You're goddamn right I did," and before he could think better of it, he flipped Cloud onto his back and pinned his wrists to the bed. A little whine of approval came from him as he wrapped his legs around Sephiroth. He kissed Cloud and gave him a few exaggerated thrusts of his hips, but it felt a little too good to be a just joke for long. Cloud moaned a little in his mouth and Sephiroth ground his hips down, forcing the squeaky bed springs to cry out over and over and over, until a pounding fist and another shout to 'stop fucking!' came again from the other side of the wall.

Sephiroth laughed against Cloud's mouth, "Who is that prick?"

"I don't know! I've never even talked to those guys next door!"

"I better go before you get in trouble," he put a foot on the floor and attempted to stand up.

"Nooo!" Cloud locked his arms and legs around Sephiroth and hung on, "Keep going! I can totally get off from a dry hump!"

"This was only supposed to be a quickie and I've been here like two hours. I haven't had dinner yet and I still have a shit ton to do."

"I have snacks," Cloud declared, putting his feet on the floor and releasing Sephiroth. He opened his closet door, then knelt down to dig through several shopping bags, "Doritos or Combos?"

"What? No, keep your food. I'll get somethin' from the cafeteria."

"And you can eat this, too," Cloud was filling an empty bag with oranges, bananas, granola bars, and handfuls of bon-bons.

Sephiroth crossed his arms, but couldn't deny that it looked a lot nicer than anything he was going to find in the cafeteria this late. He'd seen snack stashes before, but Cloud's was pretty impressive, "Is that chocolate icing?"

"Yeah, I dip granola bars in it."

"Jesus Christ," Sephiroth laughed.

"I'm permabulking! You're gonna be with a total stud, soon. Doritos or Combos?"

"Combos. And I want that icing."

"There's not much left. Do you like buttercream? I haven't even opened it yet," Cloud looked up.

Sephiroth was leaning on the closet door and watching him with an odd expression on his face, "You really wanna marry me?"

"... Are you proposing to the icing?"

"Just wonderin' what your thoughts are on that topic. There a word for just checkin' in?"

"Communication."

"Communication," he repeated with a mocking nasal drone.

"Nothing's changed, Sephiroth," Cloud told him in all seriousness.

"Then why are we waitin' years and years? Why don't we just do it when you move in this summer – "

"Do you want this icing or not!?"

"Yeah."

Cloud dropped the can into the bag. He then remembered the photograph and went to go get it, and also quickly located copies of other cute pictures of them that Sephiroth might like to have. He balanced them on top of the snacks so they wouldn't be bent.

"Thanks baby," Sephiroth said as he took his bag of treats.

He wrapped his arms around Sephiroth's waist and allowed himself to be enclosed in a tight hug, "You're already my husband. I just don't know if I'm actually ready to do more than talk about it yet."

"That's alright. I prob'ly just wanna piss off your mom."

"No, you don't get it, though. I just... I wish... I want..." he looked up at Sephiroth, desperate for the right words. "I don't want anyone to be able to come up with one single objection, especially her! And especially not some bullshit like we're too young or that we did it too fast. I just want it to make so much sense to everyone that knows us, that it'll be the happiest day of everyone's life when we finally shut up and marry each other already!"

"So we're waitin' out of spite?"

"Exactly!"

"Cool."

Cloud's expression became dark, "... And we'll force my mom to wear an ugly, matronly dress and make a really nice speech for us. Maybe we'll even wait a little longer just so we can get married on her 40th birthday!"

"Okay," he laughed.

Cloud pressed his nose against a little triangle of exposed skin on Sephiroth's chest, just wanting to keep touching him while he could, "... I was so nervous to see you tomorrow. Isn't that dumb?"

"Yeah. But I was kinda nervous when I knocked on your door."

"We're both dumb!... I messed you up," Cloud said softly, almost to himself as he fixed the front of Sephiroth's coat where it'd become skewed from hanging on him like a spider monkey. He unbuttoned him and then rebuttoned him carefully, then he reached up to do the same to his silver hair, letting it fall into its natural part where it had become a little side swept.

"God you're hot," Sephiroth accused.

"What'd I do?" Cloud asked in true confusion.

"I don't know," Sephiroth reached into his pants to tuck his latest inconvenience behind his SOLDIER belt. "... I gotta manage to walk outta here like I didn't just get nailed."

"You're about to take the walk of shame!" Cloud burst into giggling laughter.

This did nothing for Sephiroth's problem except make it leak. He grabbed Cloud and kissed him roughly, only to push him away. "Put some shoes on and walk of shame me to my truck, or else I'm never gonna leave."

Cloud was happy to further prolong goodbye. He slid some converse on and tied his loose sweatpants tight, and then picked up Sephiroth's armor to carry it for him – which doubled as a convenient boner shield. As he walked Sephiroth downstairs and outside, he loved how there was no need for being secretive or incognito. General Sephiroth walked with an arm slung around Cadet Strife completely unashamed.

Cloud put Sephiroth's armor in the backseat, and allowed himself to be pulled into one more long kiss goodnight.

"I love you," Sephiroth told him, and in case it didn't get through to him he shook him a little. "I love you."

"Love you, too!" Cloud hung on the door as Sephiroth got into his truck as he slid up onto the driver's seat. "Since we have to be professional tomorrow, we should make a secret code. Say something mean to me, but eye-fuck me while you say it, and then I'll eye-fuck you back!"

"What'll that be code for?"

"I dunno, nothing really. I just think it'd be hot to eye-fuck!"

"Go to bed, stupid."

"Yes, Sir!" Cloud gave him a look that could only be taken as an eye-fucking. Sephiroth didn't actually have to do anything to look like he was eye-fucking Cloud, all he had to do was smile at him. Cloud leaned up to kiss him one more time, and Sephiroth shut the door and drove away.

When Cloud returned to his room, there was a passive aggressive note taped to the door about noise, inappropriate conduct, and a threat to report him to the Rufus Building manager if it ever happened again. From the stern tone of the note, the author had no idea that it had been General Sephiroth that had visited.

He plucked the note off the door, folded it, and added it to his memories folder. There was now a blank space on his wall, so he looked for a new photo to take its place. He came across the one of Sephiroth as a sweet little boy that he'd stolen from Rhonda and Julie's baby debut party.

He couldn't help but compare him to the clone, and it was clear that they weren't identical. It was something about the eyes... Sephiroth's were soft, open, completely innocent. The clone's eyes were sleepy and cynical and complicated.

Wasn't that what Rufus had called Genesis? … Complicated.

Cloud pressed a kiss to this picture, but selected a different one to hang up. It was one he'd taken of Sephiroth sleeping on his couch, sprawled out long on his stomach with his head on a pillow in Cloud's lap. Even as a grown man, that innocence came out in unguarded moments.

Cloud turned the light off and snuggled against his pillows. Sephiroth's delicious, warm cookie scent was still lingering there and Cloud was about to rock a good night's sleep for the first time in two weeks. Sephiroth simply had a wonderful effect on his sleep cycle.

Just as he was fully settled, he remembered that Cameron and Psycho were still the study room. Also their bathroom was trashed with a broken toilet seat and cum and snot soiled tissue paper laying around everywhere.

He reached for his phone to text Cameron to come back but to stay out of the bathroom until morning unless he wanted to see some forensic evidence.

As the screen lit up, Cloud fell back onto his pillow with a grin. There were already four texts from Sephiroth, and Cloud savored the digital pleasure that only his lover's raving, emphatic, messy texts could provide.

i miss u already! FUCK I love you!

i didnt wanna ruin the mood bc it was a srs talk and we needed to have it but i littrly felt a ton of ur jizz leak out of me when I sat down on ur bed

also i should have fucked you, im having some major life regret rn

I love you

Rufus was probably right. Sephiroth was not actually that complicated at all.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

A/N

1- As of 5/21 - Reread this ENTIRE BEAST and edited all chapters up to CH 35, very minor edits, many comma removals, and purged all cringy ancient author notes. If you need any extra confirmation that I'm dumb, just know that I am now, always have been, and always will be LOL

2 - I'll work on a way to show chapter images on here, it'll be a little longer process, but I don't wanna link to DA anymore for additional cringe reasons.

3 - I made an official Spotify playlist for all the long suffering and well loved readers of Blonde Ambition! Link is in my profile because this website has control issues with links lmao