I dont own Tsubasa
0o0o0
As far as Fai was concerned, December 19th could very well go and fuck itself.
The end of the year had sucked since Yuui had died and the anniversary of his death always sent Fai on a hell of a bender. With the added stress of the increased police presence, Fei Wang Reed's games and pining over a handsome grump and his adorable pooch—well, Fai was probably about to win a record for the number of hours he had been awake.
Sleep seemed to be about as interested in him as he was in the end of the year.
Between the insomnia, caffeine, cocaine and the constant struggle of too-much-shit-not-enough-time, he was counting down the seconds until he either keeled over from a massive heart attack or totally lost his mind, at this point.
But what could you do, right?
Other than another line of coke.
That always helped when his eyes didn't want to focus on his computer screen any longer. He still had work to do before he could wallow in his own misery—and as tired as he was, he was too high strung to get any sleep.
Wired didn't scratch the surface of just how tightly wound he was.
Fai's real estate broker had just sent him five new listings for commercial spaces in and around the downtown area that needed to be promptly sorted through to see what might be worth the time it took to schedule a tour—and seeing as the last two perfect spots had been snatched up off the market before he had even read the email…
Well, he got hot.
Fai stacked four neat lines up and finished them off right there on the polished top of the ornate desk that sat in the middle of his office at Kurōbā. He tossed the empty dime bag into the garbage before sliding his thumb over the residual powder that was still on the desk to swipe it along his upper gums as he squinted at the screen.
While Fai's business had a well-padded pocketbook and a huge safety net should he need to close a club like Akai Heya in a pinch—it had been a month and he hadn't even started the process of getting a replacement set up.
30 days of lost revenue made a dent. Not a big enough dent that it would sink them—but big enough to light a fire under his ass. As if having to close up shop in the first place hadn't been bad enough, he had reports from his boys that their old clientele were getting their fix from some upstart.
Just one more thing he needed to deal with—and a serious priority. Since he had established his place in the Tokyo underground, he had more or less been the sole supplier in the city, since he imported his own product.
He had quickly silenced anyone that tried to carve out a small portion of his clientele the second he had become aware of their existence—Fai needed to be consistent with that now more than ever and he knew for a fact that these assholes were not reselling his product—they were getting it from someone else.
Which was extra bad news.
They were either too stupid to know that they were more or less digging their own graves—or didn't care about being on his shit list.
Fai was hoping they were stupid.
He could scare the stupidity out of the thickest of skulls... If they didn't care, though? They were as good as dead—he just didn't have time for mercy.
Not when it tended to come back to bite him in the ass. He might feel like shit over what he had been forced to do to Ryuu—but there had been no negative consequences for that power move aside from his own mind trying to self destruct.
What Fai did know was that, given what these newbies were peddling, they were getting their product from Reed.
The bastard didn't have Fai's connections, being so new to the city—but he was setting up a solid root system to support his efforts to unseat Fai as king of the Tokyo underworld while he himself scrambled to find a new steady supply of C17H21NO4 and recoup from the Akai Heya incident.
Basically… Fai was one wrong move away from being royally fucked and everyone knew it.
Reed knew it, Fai's own crew knew it and the police knew it, too.
Fei Wang Reed was building himself a happy little home here in Tokyo and it was only making it more difficult for Fai to get rid of him. The worst thing to come out of the little lesson he had made of Ryuu was that it obviously hadn't been harsh enough. Someone was still idiotic enough to try dealing on his turf and there wasn't a whole hell of a lot he could do until he actually got names or faces.
The police had of course caught wind of how tied his hands really were—and of course were on his ass 24/7—making it even more difficult to keep his cash flow steady and his customers happy.
Somehow, his clients had yet to notice a thing—and Fai intended to keep it that way.
He had managed to get his boys out of the slammer and home to their families before Christmas—but there had been another incident a week ago and he now had three more of his dealers eating prison slop while he tried to sort out how to get their charges dropped.
Yuuko was making out like a bandit—and Fai was about as stressed as he could remember being. That was before you added the hot mess that was his personal life into the mix.
If only it was Kurogane...
Worried eyes from his little brother and father made Fai want to crawl out of his own skin any time he stumbled home—and while Tai hadn't ratted him out for the gun, Ash had tattled on him about the panic attack and crying fit. Ashura was trying to get him to go to counseling—and while normally, Fai would go to a few sessions to soothe any worries—he didn't have time.
He didn't even have time to deal with December 19th this year—and the shittiest part was that he didn't have a choice.
He could snap his fingers and get damn near anything he wanted—but he couldn't get his twin back—he couldn't undo the hole he had dug while trying to keep his family together after his death—and he couldn't banish December 19th from the calendar.
All he could do was focus on what was in his control.
He could finish his work—get so fucked up he wasn't aware when midnight came and went—and he could deal with it in the morning like every year before.
The photos for the first location were sparse, but what he did see, he liked. A new name—new location—it was only fitting that the club would have a new vibe. Hinoto had more or less stepped back from the planning and was happy to work with whatever she was presented—which gave Fai full creative liberty.
Like he needed anything else to friggin' worry about…
Years ago, he would have been thrilled.
He could still remember the thrill of buying his first building at 22. How he had stayed up night and day, planning out of excitement rather than necessity—how everything had come together into a perfect cumulation of his vision for the space.
Surprise, surprise! Peddling drugs and other illegal activities was not exactly a creative trade. It was high stress—and, if you were doing it right, boring!
Monotony was good when you brought home the bacon by dealing.
Fai had never been creative like his twin—but he had always had an active mind and easily lost interest in the day to day activities as someone else's lapdog. Having quickly risen to second fiddle, he had been sure to keep his nose to the grindstone and follow all of his boss's orders to the letter.
Tatsuo was a strict and merciless leader and wasn't the kind of boss you'd wanted to take creative liberty with.
Fai had lucked out that the man had taken a liking to him—he wouldn't be where he was today if not for catching the late yakuza boss's eye, after all. As fond of Fai as he had been—the blond hadn't dared 'interoperate' any of the very clear instructions he had received.
No.
When the idea had planted itself in the back of his head, Fai had gotten permission first. Less out of respect for the bastard—and more because he knew what happened when someone like him felt disrespected.
He had laughed when Fai had suggested that dealing in clubs or bars rather than the street corners might be a way to not only increase profits but decrease run ins with the police. Thankfully, he hadn't objected to his favorite underling opening a club to test his theory and prove his point—and that had been the man's greatest mistake.
Within a year, Fai had opened 3 more establishments and he had met an unfortunate end after making one threat too many.
While the nightclubs had only started out as a way to add to the list of what he could offer—they lastly became his stronghold to take over. That in itself had actually been more of a series of unplanned events than anything Fai would have actually chosen for himself.
Having been slowly backed further and further into a corner by his former boss and mentor, Fai had seen no choice but to make a move—and apparently, when you offed a Yakuza boss, you had to take their place if you didn't want their groupies to get you back.
Or cut off the flow of the most profitable items you sold… He at least had enough support from people in the organization that it had panned out in the end.
For the most part, anyway.
All these years later, his business model had worked—and after countless hours, tears and all the blood on his hands—Fai would be damned if he was going to hand things over to Reed on a silver platter.
With 22—actually 21 with the closing of Akai Heya—clubs under his control—the novelty of buying a new building, outfitting it with equipment and carefully chosen decor had worn off. 6 months ago, it might have been a fun break from the meetings and paperwork—but he was just too fucking busy.
There were fires that needed to be put out every day, it seemed, and the task was just one more thing on his list. Fai couldn't really care less about how this one turned out so long as it was just as popular with the younger crowd as the last and on the correct side of town.
Which in and of itself was no small order.
There was a laundry list of things that he needed to consider when it came to location, theme, decore, vibe and such… He had never hired an interior designer before—but he was leaning towards that for time-saving reasons at this point. He just had to pick a damn location to get the ball rolling.
Fai opened the next link in a new tab and flipped through the pictures before dismissing it.
He wanted something modern and exciting.
Lavish and classy…
But the outside of the building he would prefer to be as plain-looking as possible… People loved a good hidden gem after all and an old shopping center was about as far from the aesthetic he was going for as possible. A warehouse or something of that sort would be the easiest to deck out and remodel with a quick turn around.
Rip out the drop ceiling—paint everything matte black—throw in some fancy-ass lighting or whatever popped and seemed interesting—and there you had it.
Tokyo's next hottest spot.
There were not many warehouses near the university district, however, so he was going to have to buckle down and find something.
The third, fourth and fifth listings were all meh—so he shot back a response asking to tour only the first—with an appointment bright and early December 20th…
The 19th was going to kick his ass like it did every year—and the best way to feel better from the mind fuck of Yuui's death anniversary was to bury himself in his work as soon as possible to try and get back to a feeling of normality.
He wouldn't get a confirmation for the meeting until tomorrow, but he set an early alarm on his phone anyways to make sure that he didn't sleep through it. The less he needed to worry about later on, the better.
With that squared away, Fai started checking his phone. The never-ending parade of text messages, emails and problems were still going strong and the blond shifted through them with disinterest.
Not surprisingly, Syaoran had yet to return to work.
Fai was going to give the poor kid as much time as he needed to come back, if he ever chose to return, that was, but he really needed a temporary replacement if this was going to go on much longer.
He hadn't been this long without a personal assistant in….
Well, a long-ass time.
Just keeping on top of his email could be a full-time job in and of itself most days. Add onto that fetching his own caffeine, actually getting his own car out of the parking garage, and remembering to eat and drink water?
Well, he was overwhelmed.
Thankfully he wasn't left totally to his own devices. Subaru and Kamui had been indispensable recently and towards those of his managers, dealers and enforcers that were well trusted, he had reluctantly started delegating.
The managers at Kurōbā were looking after the rest, so Fai could spend most of his time doing damage control. After his little show and dance over the Akai Heya incident—a few of his people had bailed ship. Most notably Primera and his head of security Asagi over at Cephiro.
While he hadn't had to shut the whole operation at Cephiro down, he had been forced to temporarily close the doors while Seishiro and Subaru retrained the staff that remained.
The club was back up and running, but it was taking Subaru and Seishiro out of Kurōbā—which was a pain in the ass for everyone else.
It also gave Fai more control over Seishiro, though it made getting his daily boost a hell of a lot more difficult.
What had started out as picking up a few days' supply from Seishiro had turned into a worsened habit, much to the older man's amusement. Fai ended up working longer because he was too wired to sleep and never ran out of things to do—and sleeping every other day wasn't doing his body any favors…
He didn't want to do the math and see how many hours he had been at work—but he hadn't been home for at least two days.
Which was fucked.
If he was lucky he would keel over and wouldn't have to worry about any of this bullshit anymore, though… thought that would just about kill his parents…
So he needed to call it a night soon and get a few Z's.
Whiiiiiiiich meant he was going to need to help himself wind down.
First step was cutting himself off the stimulants.
No more sugar.
No more coffee.
No more snow.
If he wasn't settled in two hours, he would have a drink—find someone to fuck—and drive home.
No.
He would cab it home.
There was no way in hell it was gonna be just one drink. If he was gonna be able to deal with a tinder hookup or a random clubgoer getting in his pants, it was if he was sloshed out of his mind. Fai had been doing the hookup app song and dance for years and only recently had grown bored of it.
Or rather had his go-to for quick company ruined...
By Kurogane.
He was not over the cop by any means and rebounds only worked if they were just as good—or better—than the person you were trying to get over. Since Kuro-tall was firmly stuck in his head—suddenly, his dick decided it had standards.
High standards.
There were not many brooding police officers that were taller than him, with chiseled features, a grumpy smile and an adorable furry sidekick that was up for snuggles matching with him on tinder.
Fai didn't have time for those insanely high standards and his obnoxious need for human contact was driving him insane.
If he drank himself stupid, he had it much easier to ignore the fact that he was imagining that Kurogane was the person who was pinning him against the wall and shoving his pants down…
Keep in mind—Fai had a very vivid imagination—but Kurogane had been so respectful with his body the times they had been together that convincing himself his Kuro-sweet would fuck him in a staircase or bathroom stall was easier said than done.
He was too much of a gentleman for that.
How Fai had made it to 33 without knowing that he was into gentlemen?
Anyone's guess really—you would think by his age he would have had a few decent partners to figure his type out… but that sudden realization was really making it hard to blow off steam.
At this rate, he might have to find a new hobby.
Maybe he could ask Saiga to teach him how to knit? Maybe take up a more exciting hobby? Like sky diving? Forget the parachute?
Whatever Fai decided on, one way or another, he knew he needed to manage his stress level better.
Soon.
Either by getting over Kurogane and fucking his way through Tokyo—or by finding something new to make his life slightly tolerable.
Swiveling in his chair—Fai leaned over to grab the charging cord for his phone and plugged it in just as there was a quick knock on the locked door of his office.
Someone was brave.
He didn't flaunt his personal life around at work—but almost everyone knew he was in a shit mood this time of year. Some even knew why.
Three out of the four management teams in Kurōbā were very well aware of why Fai had spent the night locked in his office and knew better than to bother him unless someone was bleeding out or worse.
He ignored whoever it was and refocused his attention on the newest emails that had been sent back. A confirmation for his meeting request to view the new building—a request from Gingetsu to set some time up in the new year to go over the books of Hādorain—hiring suggestions from Kujaku and—
There was another sharp knock—this one louder and more insistent—and when Fai still didn't answer, his ears picked up on the telltale sign of someone making use of the keypad on the door—a beep—and the lock popping open.
Busted.
Out of habit, Fai pulled a smile onto his face to greet his unwanted visitor. It was far from a happy smile—more threatening—and the person on the receiving end of his annoyed look was very well aware of it. And unbothered.
To say that Kokuyo had thick skin was a serious understatement.
From what Fai knew, at least, Kokuyo had been in the business his whole life and he had been one of the first people, aside from Seishiro, that Fai had met in the drug ring. He hadn't changed a bit even after all these years.
Same sense of style. Same general disinterest in anything and everything that wasn't his partner—who was probably the one who had sent him down here to check on Fai in the first place.
Kokuyo was unfazed by his bosses obvious displeasure and let himself in without so much as an apology for interrupting. He of course wasn't afraid of Fai in the least after all. He got more of a fear reaction from Seishiro when he was in a pissy mood than from Kokuyo—and since Seishiro had no fear reaction to speak of?
Ever?
Well.
The head of security for the third floor of Kurōbā saw Fai as nothing more than a hissing kitten when he got like this. More annoying than intimidating.
Of course—he had been one of the people who had shown him the ropes and remembered when Fai was nothing more than a bright-eyed bushy-tailed kid trying to keep his family from falling apart.
"Is something on fire?" Fai was surprised by the pitch and sweetness he managed to weave into his tone of voice. He sounded more annoyed than totally insane and on the edge of another mental breakdown—and he could roll with annoyed.
That wouldn't hurt his image one bit.
He might be closer to Kokuyo and Hisui—but like the rest of his contacts at work, he kept them at arm's length at all times.
"Fire alarms aren't going off." The older man pointed out as he closed the door and leaned against it.
The blond's eyes narrowed.
"Is someone bleeding to death?" Fai managed to tone down the sunshine a bit and turned his attention back to his laptop. He was sure he looked like a hot mess and his pupils would give away just how hot of a mess he was in an instant.
To anyone who knew what they were looking for, at least. And Kokuyo knew better than most exactly what he was looking for. Which meant he had an opinion on how Fai chose to get through the massive amounts of work that were stacking up—and he was in for a lecture more than likely.
Another one.
"Probably somewhere." Kokuyo shrugged.
Fai opened another email and didn't know if his eye was twitching because he was not in the mood for twenty questions—or because he should have cut himself off a few hours ago—didn't really matter.
Eye twitching was never a good sign.
"Let's see… No fire… No one's bleeding to death that we know of, anyways… No emergency urgent enough that you don't have time to play twenty questions with me… So did you just come down to waste my time or did you need something?" He grinned so brightly that he had to close his eyes, and only opened them again when he was met with a deep sigh.
"You got tattled on." Kokuyo crossed his arms across his chest and fixed him with a serious look. Of all nights—he thought, tonight Fai would be in a listening mood? "Glad they did. You look like shit, Fluorite."
"Why is it that tall brooding men love to tell me I look like shit, these days?" More like why did Kokuyo have to remind him of Kurogane.
Fai had done a damn good job of staying away from the only comforting thing he had happened across in over a decade—and that last line was like a slap in the face.
Kokuyo gave him a slightly confused look but seemed to decide better of asking too many questions. Or he just didn't give a shit. Either way, he wasn't one to pry and moved on. "Go home and sleep. It's past your bedtime, kid."
Fai laughed.
He didn't mean to, but there was no helping it.
If only it was that simple.
"Let me guess…" Fai raised a finger to his lips and tapped them while humming thoughtfully. "Is my snitch kinda short, huge green eyes and has a scary glasses-wearing murder boyfriend following him around?"
Subaru was just trying to help, but tonight was not the night to fuck with him.
"He's not the only one." Kokuyo sighed again. "I can drive you home. Hisui and Subaru are set to run the show tomorrow so you can have a personal day."
Fai knew his people were just looking out for him—but he did not like being told what to do. He did not like decisions being made for him. He really didn't like that people were noticing that he was falling apart.
He needed to get his fucking shit together.
Since he couldn't just magically pull that kind of miracle off just because he had been called out—he did the next best thing and lied through his teeth.
"I'm fine. I appreciate the concern and I will call it a night soon." 'Soon' was in another 3-4 hours, more than likely. Once he was good and wasted, he would head home and there was no way in hell anyone but Syaoran was going to get anywhere near his house.
Subaru could probably get away with taking him home if he had a license—and while Seishiro knew his address from Fai's highschool days—he had no intention of letting that psycho anywhere near his family again.
While he trusted Kokuyo and Hisui to have his back in a face-off and general affairs when it came to work—they were not privy to that info even after working together since Fai had been in his early 20s.
No one got close to his family.
End of story.
Well… except for apparently Kurogane… but Kurogane was a personal contact? Friend? Ex?
Labels didn't really matter.
He hadn't been tied to work—so he apparently had been an exception to the rule…
'Had' being the keyword.
Fai knew for a fact that Kuro-grumpy was finally aware of who Fai Flourite really was—and so he had crossed the line from personal—or whatever their fling had been—contact to cop that wasn't allowed near them any longer.
Kokuyo nodded once and left him be—No fuss, just how Fai preferred. He left and closed the door behind himself without another word. A few more emails had trickled in and Fai rubbed at his temples as he scanned the subject lines and sighed.
Focus was not his friend tonight.
Not that it had been any time in the recent past.
His vision was blurry and squinting was only making the headache he had been rocking the last days worse. That in and of itself made it hard enough to continue to work. As tired as he was, he knew he wasn't going to be able to sleep—physically exhausted or no—at best, he would spend the night tossing and turning and drifting in and out of consciousness.
He needed a block of decent REM and that was only gonna happen with help.
Recently, his favorite help was a handful of benzos washed down with a glass of wine—but end of year bender traditions dictated he'd start things off with a bottle of whisky.
Of course…
Fai hadn't drank whisky since his last night out with Kurogane. Partially because the smell reminded him of how sick he had felt the next day… mostly because the taste reminded him of kissing the younger man and that was something that was on his list of things to not think of.
Decisions, decisions.
Sitting up, Fai swiveled in his chair when he heard his phone go off.
Dita was calling and Fai sent the call to voice mail. If it was an emergency she would call again—if not he would forward the voicemail for Subaru or Hisui to deal with.
Just past 9 pm meant that the clubs were only now starting to fill with the Friday night crowd. If he wanted to find quick company, now was the time to do it… that and if he was going to be blackout drunk come midnight, he might as well get started now.
Leaving his phone on the charger, Fai slowly got to his feet and waited for his vision to clear before heading for his office door.
The office area of Kuroba was dead—managers and enforcers were all manning their floors as they should be. The silence was welcomed and Fai paused at the last door that led to the club proper of the first floor and braced himself for the onslaughter of noise and lights.
While normally, loud and bright were not things that bothered him—his head throbbed as soon as he cracked the door and Fai considered turning tail and just texting Kamui to bring him a drink. An appearance would hopefully soothe his employee's minds as to his well being, though, and reluctantly, Fai pulled a pleasant smile onto his face and stepped out from behind the bar.
A quick scan of the floor showed Kamui to be where Fai expected him to be—next to Fuuma keeping an eye on things. Fai spotted several of his dealers making their rounds through the sizable crowds, who already seemed to be enjoying themselves as music bounced off the exposed red brick walls.
All was as it should be.
Fai stepped around the bar and the bartender almost immediately took notice of him. He had been one of the people at the 'staff meeting' last month—and while Fai wasn't sure of his name—he had been taking extra care to wait on the blond hand and foot on the few occasions he actually had time to walk the floor.
He was here often enough he knew the drink menus for each of the floors like the back of his hand and ordered a glass of 15 year old Bowmore neat, with the additional request that he run a bottle of it to his office when he had a moment.
As soon as he had his glass in hand, he leaned against the bar and sipped it slowly.
He really was a glutton for punishment.
Bowmore was his go-to drink when he was feeling shitty about life—and the last time his mood had been this far down the shitter he had drowned his sorrows in precisely this whisky and Kurogane.
He hadn't seen the cop since he had dropped him back off at home.
In person, anyways.
He had watched the security cams as the police tossed Akai Heya and had been forced to swallow heartbreak as he watched Biggs and Kurogane work their way from room to room. The look on Kurogane's face had been more than enough of a message.
He had been livid and Fai had known better than to contact him again.
Poor thing probably hated his guts for playing him as he had.
It had been a shit move on Fai's part.
While he never claimed to be a good person—he knew the entire time how things were going to end.
Fai had been so desperate for the small bit of happiness that Kurogane and Biggs had brought to his life that he hadn't cared enough to stop things when he should have. He never should have gone to dinner with Kurogane after he had been pulled over—he definitely shouldn't have called him for drinks after dealing with the poison incident at Akai Heya.
Nothing he could do about it now. Fai had sent the pictures to Kurogane and blocked him.
Time was supposed to heal all wounds and if he was feeling as shitty about everything as Fai was—he would get over it eventually. Kurogane would move on and meet someone less insane—less dangerous—less work. It was better for him even if he didn't know it yet.
Fai took another sip and swished the amber liquid around his mouth slowly before chuckling to himself.
Who was he really trying to fool?
Kurogane was probably over it.
Why wouldn't he be?
The second he found out who Fai really was he had probably gotten over him. He might as well count his ass lucky that Kuro-cop wasn't hunting him down and trying to arrest him for his trickery.
If that had been the case, Fai would have to actually take care of him and that might just send him over the edge, because he was not over it—he was about as stuck on it as was possible for him—and he should be thankful that staying away and keeping him blocked was the worst part of it for him.
While Fai had been good about keeping his distance, he had been keeping an eye on Kurogane. Rather, he had been having someone keep an eye on Kuro-cop for him to make sure that he wasn't sticking his cute nose where it didn't belong—and so far, so good.
He and Biggs had been going about their jobs as usual and when they were not at work they were at the gym, the small apartment in Yoyogi, or at a house in Suwa which from what Fai remembered, was the city his parents lived in.
It seemed to be that Kurogane had just gone back to life as though nothing had ever happened and Fai was trying to follow his example.
Sort of, anyway.
Getting obnoxiously sentimental and brooding over the taste of whisky was not really a wise move in the I-just-need-to-forget-about-him game… but screw it.
He was gonna be too fucked up to care about any of it soon enough.
Fai took another sip and pointedly ignored the man who had come to stand next to him at the bar. He didn't even need to actually look to see that he had zero interest in talking to whoever the fuck wanted to bother him.
Too short, too flabby, too unkempt and just looked clingy.
In short: Ew.
Apparently Fai wasn't managing to look disinterested enough, because he felt a hesitant hand slip to the small of his back as Mr. Fuckboy leaned in close and flashed him a surprisingly cocky smile.
There was a moment of awkward silence in which Fai assumed this asshole was waiting for him to respond to him in some way. His only answer was a quirked brow and taking another slow sip of his whisky.
"Hey, sexy. Did ya miss me?" Mr. Fuckboy leaned in even closer as though that might raise his chances of wooing Fai with a line like that.
Right.
"Do I know you?" Nothing about this asshole's face particularly stood out to Fai—but he really couldn't be expected to remember every random hookup he had had since Kurōbā had opened.
Mr. Fuckboy frowned for a moment but recovered quickly. Taking another half step closer, he laughed the rejection off and looked Fai up and down like he was appraising a piece of meat. "We met in September, baby, Don't you remember?"
Fai blinked slowly twice and took another sip of his drink as his suiter scanned his face for a single ounce of recognition.
He wasn't sure he could vibe I hope you choke any harder—but given how wide Mr. Fuckboy's pupils were—even if he flat out told the bastard just that, it would probably go over his head.
"Can't say I do." Fai offered at last and narrowed his eyes as this asshole slid his hand lower down his back and leaned in to whisper in his ear.
"I definitely remember you… You let me—" the creep bit his lip and eyed Fai again. "—you know… in your car. You gave me your number—but you never messaged me back, baby."
Fai just barely managed not to roll his eyes.
Right.
So getting ghosted was a sign to go for round two?
Fai raised his glass to his lips one more time and knocked back the rest of his drink before flashing Mr. Fuckboy a patronizing smile—tilting his head slightly to the right as he did so. "I'm afraid you're going to have to be more specific. I've fucked a lotta dudes in my car."
Mr. Fuckboy laughed again and as Fai turned to set the empty glass down on the counter, he took the opening. Fai found himself blocked in with the creep pressed against him, a hand gripping the bar on either side of him.
Tonight was not the night to fuck with him like this.
"That's ok. Just pretend this is the first time, baby. I'll make you feel good, I promise."
Fuck that.
"Sorry, I don't do repeats." Fai rolled his eyes so hard they hurt and started weighing his options with this freak. He was rather unimpressive and Fai was more or less confident that he could finish anything he started with little injury.
Mr. Fuckboy was an inch or two shorter than him—and while Fai might be lean and willowy—he was in much better shape and probably a lot quicker.
Even coked out of his gourd, he was more sober.
And the other obviously was too dense to take a fucking hint.
"You just said you don't remember me." The bastard decided now—in the middle of the crowded bar—was the perfect place to grind his erection against Fai's ass and that was just bad for business.
Though—knocking the creep in the nose with the back of his closed fist did feel nice—as the owner, he really couldn't allow this sort of thing to go on.
Mr. Fuckboy stumbled back and almost took out a gaggle of girls in hooker heels as he fell flat on his ass. Fai offered them a sincere apology as both Kamui and Fuuma wove quickly through the crowd to see what the commotion was about.
"What the fuck, man! You could have just said no thanks!" Fuck boy was trying to smother the blood gushing from his nose and Fai's only answer was to take two steps forward, grab the bastard by his shirt collar and hoist him up before heading for the doors.
Which wasn't as easy as one would expect. Fai might be in better shape than this jerk—but that didn't mean getting his fat ass up off the floor was an easy task when he was more or less dead weight.
The crowds parted for them as Fai led him towards the door with all the grace of a disapproving school teacher—Fuuma and Kamui following hot on his heels to assist if needed.
As soon as they were through the glass double doors, he gave the bastard a good shove and kindly instructed the bouncer that his friend here was barred for life before sauntering back in—Mr. Fuckboy cursing at him as he disappeared back into the club.
He was met by a grinning Fuuma and a very angry looking Kamui and simply brushed them off as he headed back towards the offices.
He was not in the mood for it.
Fai managed to make it back to his office and get through another glass of whisky while opening up the text messages from his dad that he had been ignoring the last two days.
Taishakuten had done him a solid about not ratting him out to Ashura about the gun… But that was with the stipulation that he sought help—which he had.
Sort of.
He had talked to Yuuko about things the next day and had somehow managed to convince her that his 'stunt' had been a stress induced freak out. He was meeting with her once a week—was following her recommendation of delegating tasks that were simple to others—and had gone back to the doctor to talk about his 'panic attacks.' Had gotten a prescription he didn't even need to take to the pharmacy to fill—and as far as she was concerned—was cutting back on the illicets.
Fai also had Kusanagi help him move the firearms from his home and they were now stored here at Kurōbā. So he and his stepdad were again hunky-dory.
Ashura hadn't found out that Fai had been a half second away from redecorating his bedroom with an abstract brain matter mural—though Ash had filled him in on the state he had been forced to find his dear older brother in.
So while Ashura might not know what had really happened— he knew something had happened and he had been on Fai's ass ever since.
Tai, Ashura, and Ash all seemed to think his 'sudden depression' was due to his 'break up' with Kurogane—and Fai hadn't done anything to correct that point of view.
It was easier this way and not entirely a lie.
He was pining something fierce for that jerk and his pup.
Since Fai was well into his adult years—his parents were usually pretty hands off when it came to where he was and what he was doing. That being said—6 text messages from Ashura and 2 from Taishakuten was the equivalent of them blowing up his phone and he had been ignoring them all until now.
With two glasses of whisky in him, it was now or never, though, and Fai read over the messages a few times.
It made his chest ache.
He honestly wished he wasn't worrying them with his recent changes in behavior. He wished he could take all of this in stride and keep his usual slightly sarcastic and very cheery demeanor with them. Fai had tried. He had practiced and rehearsed but he couldn't stand staring at the ceiling of his bedroom thinking about how much he didn't want to deal with this shit anymore.
The ups and downs of his using—lying to his family—denying himself everything he loved and keeping everyone in the dark because people like Reed would use them against him in a second if they had half the chance.
Better to work—keep busy—keep them safe—than get too caught up in his head.
The messages had piled up over the last two days. Wanting to know when he was going to be home—if he had eaten—if he was holding up ok…
Nothing too out of the ordinary.
Especially not given what they were all going to go through tomorrow.
Fai sent Ashura a quick message letting him know that he would be home before morning and apologized for being MIA. Home before morning was more or less a polite way of Fai telling his father not to wait up for him…
They could do their usual song and dance for the anniversary of Yuui's passing when his father got up tomorrow—but not tonight.
He didn't have the capacity to deal with that tonight.
When his phone vibrated again a moment later, he was assuming it was a reply—but when he glanced over, he sighed as Subaru's name was front and center with the green and red phone icons below.
As much as he wanted to ignore him—Subaru's calls were currently high priority, given that he was working at Cephiro tonight. Fai could only assume that Subaru of all people would only be contacting him tonight if there was a serious issue. After all—out of everyone—he was the only person who really understood what it was like to lose not only your best friend but your other half long before it was time.
"What." Fai wedged the phone between his shoulder and cheek and opened the whisky—deciding to skip the glass, he drank directly from the bottle like a proper man in mourning.
"Are you ok?" Subaru's tone was soft and well-meaning, and it made Fai instantly frown.
There was no way he was just calling to check up.
"Why wouldn't I be ok?" in the past, if Subaru felt the need to check up on him about the 19th—it was always after the date had passed. Fai showed him the same courtesy because it was like a slap in the face when you did it the other way around.
"Kamui said that you got in a fight." His second-floor manager's tone stayed perfectly calm and Fai sighed. It had hardly been that exciting.
"I did not get into a fight." Fai took another swig and leaned back in his chair. "And I'm fine."
There was a short silence on the other line and Fai could practically see the way Subaru furrowed his brows when he knew Fai wasn't giving him the whole story. He would not be a happy camper if he could see him now—lazing in his office chair, blood on his shirt and drinking whisky from the bottle like some sort of heathen.
"What happened?" Subaru said after a half minute of silence and Fai had to finish swallowing before he could answer.
"I punched a drunk asshole in the face and threw him out. Not a huge deal."
There was another long silence and Fai swiveled back around to look at his computer screen.
More. Freaking. Emails.
"Fai—you just said you didn't get in a fight?" Subaru was obviously choosing his words very carefully and he had to wonder why.
It wasn't like he could really say anything to make tonight any shittier—and contrary to his over sensitive, anxiety riddled, lonely insides, Fai also had a thick skin.
"Is it really a fight if he doesn't hit me back?" he chuckled as he read over an email form Kujaku—looks like there had been police sniffing around one of his warehouses again.
Which meant it was moving time.
Again.
Hisui would have to facilitate that tomorrow. Fai had always handled that himself—but it sure as hell couldn't wait until he got back. Fai CC's Hisui and Subaru in his response as to what needed to be done early tomorrow morning—and started typing out detailed instructions while the dead air lasted on the phone.
"Forgive me, Fai—" Subaru was always very formal and polite but the lack of honorifics meant that he was speaking to his boss on a personal level. "—but that really isn't like you."
"It's not." He paid people—a lot of people—to punch drunk assholes and throw them out of his clubs for him simply because he wasn't one for physical violence unless it was absolutely necessary.
That included the whole ruthless murder business.
Maybe if he had been a little better at keeping up his image as a heartless killer over the last five years—he wouldn't be in this mess now.
"Are you ok?" Subaru repeated cautiously and Fai rolled his eyes.
Time for a change of subject. They could talk about this the next time they ran into each other in person.
"Where is Seishiro?" Fai didn't want to be fighting withdrawal tomorrow and a little help to get outta bed was never a bad thing.
He had just finished off his nightly supply and was going to be too busy tomorrow being a hopeless mess to do anything like swing by to grab a pick-me-up.
"He's keeping an eye on the floor while I make this call." There was a slight change in his second-floor manager's tone. He knew without being told as to why Fai might be asking.
"And things are calm over there?" Fai scrunched his eyes closed in an attempt to get them to focus on the email.
He might just need to verbally pass the info along at this rate.
"Yes. Sales numbers are almost back up to what Cephiro was running at before Primera and Asagi left. No issues with clients getting too rowdy, either."
Fai assumed—the books were shaping back up nicely under Subaru's supervision, thankfully, and Seishiro's mere presence could calm an entire club the fuck down.
If things were quiet, though—
"Can you see if he can stop by before midnight?" he really didn't feel like driving out there. "Would that leave you in a pinch?"
Or rather—he was in no shape to.
Fai might drive while coked up—but he didn't drive on downers.
"Fuuma doesn't have things handled at Kurōbā?" Subaru played dumb.
He might be slightly naive, but there was no way the real reason Fai needed Seishiro to stop over went over his head.
"He does." Fai grabbed the bottle and tipped his head back again. "I don't want to come in tomorrow, though."
"I see." There was a shorter pause this time and Subaru sighed. "Normally you're home by now… you're really going to stay up till midnight?"
"Yeah. Work to do and I need to unwind, anyways." Normally, Fai would have either skipped today entirely or gotten whatever he needed to do out of the way early.
He knew how much the anniversary took the wind out of his sails and planned things out so his schedule was light in the days and sometimes weeks leading up to it.
"I'll ask him," Subaru answered.
Good.
Fai would just call his head enforcer directly if he had been denied. Subaru wasn't in the habit of telling him no—and Seishiro was in the habit of encouraging his self-destructive tendencies.
He had no clue why—because when Fai kicked it, Seishiro was the next logical choice to take over and then, the whole city was better off burning. Just because he was probably a psychopath, it didn't mean he was a particularly ambitious one. Seishiro was actually rather lazy and enjoyed his current job and the pay that went along with it.
No doubt he would be bored stiff in Fai's shoes. He had had the opportunity to take over after Tatsuo Sakurazuka had passed away—and had happily bent he rules and broke a few bones to make sure Fai got to take the job.
He had put someone in the position he knew wouldn't pester him—or ask more work of him than he was willing to do. Seishiro only did things he found interesting and that had always been the way of things. Fai sweat the small details and dealt with all the moving parts while Seishiro got to track people down, get information in sometimes creative ways and pester Subaru.
People watching, torture and Subaru were basically his three favorite pastimes.
You would think he would want Fai of sound mind and healthy to do the things he didn't want to do…
He didn't really have the time or energy to try and get into that man's headspace and figure out his motivations for keeping his boss so well supplied—and to be honest, he didn't really care. He would continue to operate with the assumption that he would kick this habit and not touch the stuff again once Reed had been dealt with.
He was getting too old for this kind of bullshit, anyway
"Thanks." Fai started hammering away at the keyboard once again, a second attempt to sum up what he needed done in regards to the warehouse. After another extended silence Fai decided that it was again time for a subject change. "—Kujaku sent me an email letting me know it's time to pack up house and move early."
"Police?"
"It seems the boys in blue have a clue where we store our stash. They have been hanging around the property a little too close for comfort." Which was annoying. He regularly moved 'the warehouse' around the city just for good measure—and they had just set them up there not long ago.
It was a big job that took a lot of oversight and supervision.
"—I am sending you an email with details. Keep an eye out for it, ok?" Fai would need to get it finished and sent out before he drank anything else.
"Of course."
They quickly exchanged goodbyes after that and Fai leaned in to focus on laying out his wishes. With a lot of frustrated sighing and a few curses at his tipsy fingers' misspellings, he got the damn thing sent off.
It might as well have been a textbook.
He didn't want to leave anything up to chance. There was an answer for any question he could think might arise—for anything that could possibly go wrong.
More emails to read. More text messages.
Fai sipped away at the whisky while he kept on top of them—only stopping when another call came through.
This time Seishiro.
A quick glance at the time showed him that it was past 10 and he was far from blackout. Switching back to the glass, he poured himself a refill as he answered the call—only to be told to meet over in the parking garage before being hung up on.
So he was already here.
Fai headed out through the back door—choosing to avoid the crowds, noise and flashing lights of the club—and walked up the ally, glass in hand.
As expected—parked right next to his 570s was a familiar ride that made his own look like a hand-me-down economy car. Seishiro was leaning against the matte black custom finish of his Lamborghini Aventador S Roadster, smoking a cigarette as though he didn't have a care in the world—flashing Fai a friendly smile as he leaned against his own car.
"It's not like you to call me out here more than once a day." Seishiro mused as he exhaled a cloud of smoke in Fai's general direction.
No—Fai had so far stuck to the rule that once it was gone, it was gone. That was it—and he had to deal until the next morning. It was really the only rule he had that didn't make him feel like a total junkie, honestly—so he had held firm to it even through all of the increased stress.
"I am taking a personal day tomorrow." Fai lifted his glass to his lips and sipped.
"Ahh." The older man took another drag from his cigarette and the blond narrowed his eyes.
Why did there always have to be a conversation? It wasn't as though either of them had a surplus of free time—yet they had this little song and dance any time Fai came to Seishiro for a little help.
"I should have just told you this morning instead of dragging you back out." That earned him an odd look from the older man. Fai hated it when he had no idea what Seishiro was thinking—and while he had gotten better at reading him over the years—more often than not, it was a mystery.
"Did you know this morning you were going to blow through it all before midnight?" Seishiro took another long drag on his cigarette and Fai was tempted to glare.
While he had finished off his supply far earlier than he should and his heart did feel like it was two seconds from saying fuck it, he didn't like what the older man was insinuating.
"Like I said—I didn't want to come in tomorrow just for that." He made sure to keep his shoulders relaxed, his tone easy and his smile lazy.
"You always take a personal day on the 19th." Seishiro shifted his weight to one foot as he slipped a hand in his pocket with a sly smile. "That's why I had brought you extra."
Fai blinked at the knowing tone dumbly and Seishiro's amusement only grew.
He had what?
"Or did you not notice?"
"I—" Fai paused to collect himself.
There really was no way to excuse or dismiss that. Had he really managed to finish off 7 grams since this morning? Had he been that tired?
"You—" Seishiro answered for him. "—are on thin ice. We've both been in the business a long time and we've both seen a lot of addicts go down this road…" Fai's eyes narrowed as the older man paused to pull another baggie out of his pocket and held it out teasingly, just a bit too high for it to be considered an open offer. "—Careful, now. I won't warn you again."
He was right—They had both been at this a long time and Fai didn't need a scale to see that this was more than an 8 ball. Probably closer to two…
Fuck.
The blond didn't reach for it immediately and half glared at the enforcer. There wasn't the slightest hint of emotion in his expression—like he didn't care one way or the other what Fai ultimately chose to do.
A few moments passed and Fai still didn't reach for the baggie until Seishiro quirked an eyebrow at him. "What? You don't want it?"
No.
But he needed it.
There was a part of him that wanted to just snatch the baggie and be on his way—that didn't want to deal with this taunting or having his increased use thrown into his face. Mostly, though, he wanted to just walk.
At the end of the day, Fai was more stubborn than anything else and he hated needing anything from anyone—especially from someone like Seishiro.
Could he just shrug and walk away?
Yeah.
But he would be in full withdrawal come tomorrow evening and sicker than a dog. He would be less than useless tomorrow and the psychological side effects of coming down slapped on top of the usual depression and anxiety of December 19th would be more than enough to send him over the edge.
So he didn't.
Fai reached out, snatched the baggie and pulled on a cocky smile. One that was wide enough to force him to close his eyes as he tilted his head slightly to the left. "How very sweet of you to be concerned—but I don't remember asking your opinion on the matter."
The slight look of surprise disappeared off of Seishiro's face almost as soon as it appeared. He dropped his hand, shifted his weight again and took another drag of his cigarette before tossing the butt onto the concrete floor of the parking garage and stomping it out.
"Is there anything else you need before I go?"
Fai kept the smile plastered on his face and shook his head back and forth. "See you on Sunday."
Seishiro nodded once and popped the door of his car. Fai offered a tiny wave and walked around his own ride—stashing the snow in the center console of his car for safekeeping before heading back across the street and up the ally and punched the code into the back door, popping the lock.
The heat of the back offices was a welcomed change, and Fai headed for his office without stopping. Settling back down in his seat, he went back to the never-ending email inbox from hell and poured himself another glass of whisky.
Fai wasn't sure when he dozed off—but he jerked awake when a cool hand was pressed against his forehead. Thank god for the oversized leather office chair, because it kept his startled ass from falling back onto the floor and making a fool of himself in front of Hisui.
Not that Hisui had any illusions as to how things had been going for him, lately. His ducks had all wandered off and were shitting all over everything. He was one wrong move away from Reed toppling everything he had built up and he was so totally overwhelmed even his family was noticing.
He still didn't need the man thinking that he was losing his marbles, as well.
At work, he had nerves of steel and he would like to keep that illusion in place for as long as possible.
"Oh dear." Hisui's lips curled into a soft, comforting smile and he leaned forward to again brush Fai's bangs out of his face. "You've had quite the night, it seems."
"What time is it?" Fai squeezed his eyes close in an attempt to get them to focus, but he was far from sober.
Whatever the time, he needed to go to bed—his eyes were so heavy, he could hardly keep them open.
"Nearly 11… Fai, there is blood on your shirt." the third floor manager was looking him over for any injuries and Fai tried to pull his thoughts together enough to brush him off.
Why was there blood on his shirt?
Oh.
Right.
"'s not mine." It was that asshole's that had tried to get on with him by pinning him against the bar and grinding against his ass.
Hisui didn't ask for clarification and simply moved around the desk to grab a bottle of water from the fridge. Popping the cap open, he handed it over with a smile and Fai accepted it gladly and finished it in one go.
Man, was he thirsty…
"Do you want me to let you sober up before I take you home?"
No.
No, Fai hadn't made it to December 19th sober since his twin had passed and there was a reason for that.
Shaking his head back and forth, Fai leaned forward to rest his forehead on his palm and closed his eyes. He could just… put his head back down and sleep at his desk.
His back would hurt like a bitch tomorrow, sure—but he had no intention of coming home this fucked up and making his father fret over him and he was too fucked up to find someone to go home with.
"You can't keep working." Hisui offered kindly and Fai snorted.
"I wasn't working." He had somehow managed to klunk out. Probably for the best. The last time he had checked the clock, it had been nearly around 10, which meant he had gotten a solid hour.
That was more rest than he had gotten in the last two days, after all.
His third floor manager blinked at him slowly and Fai had to wonder how Hisui managed to be so patient all the time.
"If you're so tired you're falling asleep at your desk, don't you think that it's time for you to get some decent rest? In a bed?"
Fai nodded his head.
That did sound nice.
"I can drive you home." Hisui ended up sighing when Fai shook his head back and forth again. "Okay. Is there something else that you needed to do?"
"No…" Nothing that he could think of, anyways.
Not anything that couldn't wait until the day after tomorrow, anyways.
Just—not die between now and tomorrow, when he dragged his sorry ass home to comfort his father and brood in his childhood bedroom.
That was pretty much it.
"Is there a reason you don't want to go home?" Hisui's tone was especially soft when he posed this question and it was Fai's turn to sigh.
"When you say it like that, it sounds awful."
"I'm just trying to help." Hisui watched Fai sit up and scrub at his face.
"I'm fucked up…" Fai offered and while Hisui just patiently waited for him to continue, the look on his face screamed well, that much is obvious—tell me something I don't know. "I don't want my family to see me like this… I'll just sleep here."
"That's all?"
Fai nodded his head again and Hisui seemed to settle. "Well then, let me bring you to my house. We have a guest room for you to sleep this off."
His brows furrowed in confusion for a moment as the words processed. He had been to Hisui's and Kokuyo's before—they lived in one of the old neighborhoods in Tokyo in a family home that Kokuyo had been gifted by his parents.
In the same neighborhood Tatsuo had lived in…
He hadn't been over in years, but the offer was tempting.
"I don't want to impose."
"I insist."
0o0o0
I LIED!
Kurogane and Fai will be together again soon but I felt like we needed this buffer chapter. The next one is well on its way to being finished and I hope I dont make you too long for it!
Poor Fai! That is really all I have to say!
As always please let me know what you think and thank you for your support!