Kurogane was getting really fucking sick of people asking him if he was ok.
He wasn't—but he'd live.
Getting lied to and led on kinda left a guy in a bad fucking mood—and it didn't matter how many times he headed home to hang with his pops, eat his mom's food or watch bullshit tv with his sis'—he was still in a bad fucking mood.
While he was pissed off in general, Kurogane was mostly annoyed with himself. He hadn't deleted Fai's number yet—hadn't trashed those stupid selfies—and every time he found himself looking at those too-fucking-blue eyes shining with happiness as they had been all smushed together for a selfie, he wanted to kick his own fucking ass.
Everything about Fai was a god damn mindfuck and he had yet to accept any of it even a month later. Shoulda been more than enough time to process what had happened between them, what he had read in those reports, how things had ended…
His brain didn't want to connect that sweetheart cuddle bug that stole his pooch's heart as well as his own to the person who had done the shit in those reports…
Logically, he knew the facts.
They were just that.
Facts.
Not up for debate—and Kurogane wasn't ok with it.
Any of it.
Fuck Fai. Fuck his smile. Fuck his infectious laugh. Fuck his pretty eyes. Fuck his soft hair. Fuck the way he just fit against Kurogane's body. Fuck all the bastard's acts. Fuck the masks. Fuck the games. Fuck him.
Kurogane wasn't ok and if one more person asked him what was wrong, he was gonna fucking clobber them. Because he wasn't gonna be ok till he somehow connected those two shitty dots and processed what was truth, what was lie—and till all this burning fucking anger settled.
Kurogane had always been able to trust his gut when it came to people—and Fai had been a sweetheart every time they had been together.
Had there been red flags?
Yeah.
A fuckton, actually.
There had been steady, stable evidence though, proving the idiot's gentle disposition and loving nature… The way he had behaved around his parents—the way he had laughed when he fessed up to living at home in the first place—the way he had said goodbye…
There was logically no reason for him to fake any of that and Kurogane couldn't rationally come up with how Fai could be an adorable idiot and a fucking murderer at the same time.
It didn't help that he had done exactly what Fai had warned him not to do and gone and fallen for the blond. He had no fucking clue how that had happened, and he had about as much of a clue on how to move on from it.
Kurogane had been doing the only things he could think of—working double shifts—spending more time at his parent's house—and staying busy. None of it was really working.
The less time he spent in his apartment watching Biggs obsess over the fucking pillow Blondie had used the only time he had slept over, the better, though.
Every-fucking-time Biggs would happily trot back into the room carrying that damn thing like his special treasure, it brought all the shitty feelings he had been shoving aside rushing back. The worst part was the second his damn dog noticed the change in his mood—he brought the pillow over and offered it up.
Not only was that the cutest fucking shit he had ever seen his pooch do—but it only reminded him even more that Fai had crashed into their lives and made a lasting impact. Most nights he found himself watching the news with that fucking pillow in his lap and his damn dog laying on top of it. It came to bed with them every night—Biggs bringing it to the dog bed in the bedroom. It went in the crate with him when Kurogane had to run errands and seemed to comfort the fluffy bastard even though he knew it couldn't possibly hold Fai's scent any longer.
He didn't have the heart to trash the damn thing, either.
As good as he was at keeping busy—there wasn't jack shit for him to do after work on the Friday before Christmas. He and Biggs were beat anyways after pulling doubles all week, and they both had conked out in the living room shortly after finally arriving home.
Having maxed out his hours for this pay period, he planned to catch up on sleep before hiking out to his parent's house for the next few days. Christmas wasn't a huge deal in Japan—and in his family especially so—but that didn't mean they didn't all enjoy eating good food and watching the Christmas specials together every year.
Now—he sure as fuck didn't live in the best neighborhood—but it wasn't the sorta place you really expected the doorbell to ring at damn near two in the morning. With all the lights still on and the TV going, it looked like the apartment's residents were awake—but he wasn't assuming anything good when the bell sounded and set Biggs off.
Getting woken up out of a dead sleep by 100lbs of muscle and fur using his chest as a springboard to get to the window wasn't exactly pleasant and it damn near knocked the wind out of him.
All it took was a simple command to bring his pooch to heel—and Biggs was growling like a hell hound as they approached the door together. Kurogane froze when he looked through the peephole and recognized the trembling form standing outside instantly.
Fai.
Kurogane's teeth clenched instantly and he had to take a step back. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath as he got a handle on his disbelief.
Fai.
Fai Fucking Fluorite.
What the fuck was he doing out there? Anger washed the shock away damn near instantly and Biggs broke out into a fury of angry barks as he picked up on the mood.
What fucking right did that bastard have to crash back into his life—in the middle of the fucking night, no less—after the games he had played? The whole dramatic we're-too-different explanation followed with the you're-nothing-but-a-fling bullshit the last night they had been together… Then letting him find out through work what he had actually meant.
Kurogane's feelings were raw. He felt played. He was fucking pissed that Fai had played sweet only to pull shit like that and he had yet to process or accept that he had fallen for it hook, line and sinker…
Hadn't even been able to consider what he would do if he ever ran into Fai again because it made him so fucking angry. Sure as fuck hadn't been able to think about what he would do if Blondie was ballsy enough to show his fucking face here again.
Kurogane rubbed the bridge of his nose and listened to Biggs as he continued to growl fiercely at the door—his aggression settling as his handler regained control of his reaction. The cop had to take another deep breath and flat out ignored the way the sight of the idiot alone made his heart skip a beat.
The damn thing needed to catch up with his brain because it was decision making time. He could just leave the door locked and ignore him—he could open the door and kick that fucker's ass for the games he had played—or he could try and get some fucking answers…
His best bet?
Walk the fuck away and ignore him—he shouldn't have a damn thing to do with Fai—even if he looked fucking miserable out there.
He couldn't do that, though.
Leaning back, he flipped the switch for the light on the other side of the door and double-checked that he wasn't seeing things.
Fuck.
Blondie really was fucking there—and with a light on, Kurogane got a good look at just how pathetic Fai looked. He had his arms wrapped around his midsection protectively, eyes downcast, face tear stained, in wet clothes and shivering almost violently in the cool December air.
Kurogane felt his heart skip another beat as protective instincts kicked in and his jaw clenched harder, teeth grinding.
Something had to be fucking wrong, that much was obvious.
Sure, the fact that he didn't know a damn thing about Blondie had been slapped in his face—but he was damn sure that Fai was as far from weak as it got. Drug Lord and weepy mess didn't really go hand in hand—even if Blondie was fucking nuts, he was tough.
There was no rational explanation other than there was something wrong.
Still didn't explain why Fai had to fucking come here, of all places.
A few seconds passed and Fai rang the doorbell again quickly before retucking his arm around himself and shifting his weight from foot to foot. Biggs had no way of seeing who was trying to visit so damn late and Kurogane had to grab his collar as he lunged at the door in another fury of defensive barks.
Fai didn't seem bothered and continued to patiently wait, and Kurogane cursed under his breath and hardened his grip on his furball's collar before unlocking the door and pulling it open.
It took a half-second for Biggs to go from I'm-gonna-rip-your-throat-out to excited puppy—tail beating back and forth and sniffing in Blondie's general direction in a flurry of high pitched sighs and sneezy chuffs.
Fai ignored the pooch—his eyes growing wide as his frantic gaze was raised to lock with the cop's—like he was just as surprised to see the younger man as Kurogane was to see Fai.
Kurogane wanted to be pissed. He wanted to tell this fucker off. He wanted to fucking hit something because he had too many conflicting feelings rushing around his skull and it was making his head ache.
All that got shoved aside, though.
Something was really fucking wrong—pathetic expression and tear stains aside—Fai wasn't wearing a coat and had blood on the front of his wrinkled dress shirt—his suit pants were rumpled, as well, and he was missing the rest of the outfit. No tie, vest, or jacket.
Fai opened his mouth like he was going to say something but snapped it closed again and let his eyes finally fall down towards the furball—a small smile gracing his lips while Biggs only grew more excited at being noticed.
What the FUCK?
"You got a lotta nerve showing your face here." Kurogane's tone was low—serious—and very pissed. Blue eyes flickered back up to his own—the smile fading away as the blond nodded his head once.
That was it?
Just a fucking nod?
The bastard had nothing to say for himself? No explanation for why he was here? He was just gonna stand on the damn porch with blood on his clothes, looking pathetic as hell?
"Why the fuck are you here." Kurogane tugged on Biggs collar in a silent command for him to settle and his pooch sat—his tail now loudly thumping against the door frame as they both stared their visitor down.
"Are—" Fai started but stopped again and Kurogane was losing his patience. Fai closed in a bit more—wrapped his arms more tightly around himself and looking anywhere but at the cop as he bit his lip.
Are?
Are fucking what?
"Spill it or beat it." Kurogane bit out. His brows furrowed as Blondie took a half step back—his shoulders hunching a little more as a fresh round of silent tears slipped down his cheeks.
Was the idiot really going to run?
Was Kurogane really gonna let him?
"Are you—" Fai eyed him up and down again and took a deep breath. "Are you ok?"
What?
Had he heard that right?
Kurogane quirked a brow as confusion washed away most of the initial anger. Of course he was ok—why wouldn't he be? Why would Blondie be worried about his well being even if there was an off chance that he might not be? Why at two in the morning?
"Yeah. But you're not." Kurogane pointedly eyed the bloodstain on the blond's clothes, but it went over Fai's head. He just shifted his weight nervously and glanced down at Biggs quickly before looking back up at Kurogane.
"What about Biggs-baby?"
"He's good." Biggs seemed to offer his own answer with a new chorus of sighs and chuffs and Fai nodded before looking over his shoulder—then out across the street—then back down at the floor.
"I um.. I—I just…" Fai trailed off again and Kurogane sighed.
Something was really fucking wrong and the idiot couldn't even manage a full sentence. He could smell the alcohol on his from here and he had to wonder just how much Fai would have had to drink to end up in such a state.
And then there was the blood.
That was probably the most concerning part of all of this. Either Fai was injured or had been—or that was someone else's plasma all over the front of his shirt. And given the info Kurogane had recently gained…
Well, he had a few ideas as to how it might have gotten there.
"You just what?" the cop prompted, and Blondie's brows furrowed.
"I shouldn't have come here." The words left his mouth in a rushed mumble, and Fai was back to looking over his shoulder like he was about two seconds from bolting. Kurogane didn't know if he was gonna let him.
His inner cop was obviously checked out because he should be cuffing this fucker and throwing him in the back of the cruiser.
Nope.
Sure as fuck shouldn't have—yet here he was.
"But you did." Fai had felt the need to show up in the middle of the night crying, with drenched clothes, no coat, and inquiring to his and Biggs' well being.
Fai nodded slowly after a moment, shifting uncomfortably, eyes still darting around. "I'm sorry— I shouldn't have… I should go."
Kurogane watched him long and hard—Fai thankfully didn't budge—giving him time to think.
Moron was fucking right.
He should go—should never have shown back up—but he had.
That fucking bastard had shown back up and managed to yank at every one of Kurogane's protective instincts while scattering the few pieces the younger man had managed to put together all over the god damn place again with no effort at all.
He never thought he was gonna have to see Fai again and yet here he was.
Kurogane should slam the door in his face—shouldn't engage or encourage the idiot in any way. Wasn't good for him—wasn't good for Biggs—wasn't good for their job.
He was hesitating, though—the cop's emotions were bubbling and he didn't know if he could stand living with all the fucking unanswered questions—strong emotions—and fucking bullshit feelings. He had had a month to figure it out on his own and he had made jack shit in the progress department.
He should slam the fucking door and let Fai walk away.
Would be easiest. Would let the blond know he wasn't fucking welcome here. Would deter him from pulling this stunt again.
He didn't, though.
Sighing, Kurogane glared hard as he made up his mind.
"You're not going anywhere until you tell me what the hell is going on." Blondie's eyes went wide at that and Kurogane stepped back from the door—pulling his dog with him as he went to make room for the idiot. "Get in here. It's fucking freezing."
Fai didn't argue.
Hesitating for a moment—he stepped into the apartment and moved out of the way so that Kurogane could close the door. After it was locked, he sent his pooch to go lay down on his bed to wait while Fai got his shoes off and he headed back down the hallway to grab a towel for him.
When he made it back, Blondie was just loitering in the entryway of the apartment—looking around with impossibly wide eyes as he continued to shiver, looking dazed and wobbly on his feet.
"Here—" the cop forked over the towel and Fai only clutched the damn thing to his chest like he had no clue what he was supposed to do with it. Kurogane headed over to the couch. He sat down and sighed loudly when Fai just continued to loiter uncertainty next to the front door. A beat or two passed before the cop spoke—snapping Blondie to attention again.
"You gonna tell me what this is about?"
"I—I wanted to make sure you were ok… but I shouldn't have come back here." Fai finally settled his gaze on the cop—his expression dripping with worry that didn't make any sense.
"There a reason why I wouldn't be?" To Kurogane's surprise, Fai shook his head back and forth slowly.
Fai made no sense—as far as he knew he was healthy, and no one was out to get him… There was no damn reason for this nonsense.
"I think... " It was Blondie's turn to sigh and he followed it up with a few deep breaths—scrunching his eyes shut, he clutched the towel to his chest a little more tightly. "...I'm just fucked up and had a bad dream."
Kurogane bristled for a moment.
He was fucking kidding, right? There was no fucking way that this idiot had come all the way across town without a damn coat in the flipping rain because of a bad dream.
There was over a minute of silence where he was waiting for Fai to pull a ha-ha-just-kidding or elaborate further, but he only closed in on himself even more.
Fuck!
"Must'a been one fucking bad dream."
Fai nodded and Kurogane scrubbed a palm through his hair as he tried to decide if he was gonna buy that line of bullshit. One thing was for damn sure—he wasn't gonna get his brain thinking straight with Blondie hovering over on the other side of the room. Another sigh and the cop patted the couch in a silent demand for Fai to stop the damn looming and take a seat.
This was fucking bizarre.
He didn't want to think too far into what that actually meant if he wasn't fucking with him right now. Well, the cop wasn't sure if he wanted to know if Fai had been thinking about him even half as much as Kurogane had been thinking about Fai—and he cut himself off before he even opened that can of worms.
Wasn't gonna do him any good.
Facts were facts and he didn't need any more fucking emotions mucking things up.
Didn't matter what the damn dream was about because Fai shouldn't have come back here—Kurogane shouldn't have let him in—they shouldn't be sitting here right now.
If there had really been a dream at all. This could very well be the moron's next fucking game to get whatever it was he wanted.
Fai was the first to break the next long silence—his voice quiet—barely above a whisper.
"I just… I'm fucked up and not awake all the way… sleeping pills give you weird dreams, you know?" Blondie looked up and shrugged—his lips twitching into a sad attempt at his usual smile.
Uhuh.
Ok?
And?
Kurogane just continued to stare and it must have been too much for the older man because he looked away and started fidgeting with the corner of the towel.
"You stink like whisky." Kurogane left off the 'aren't you not supposed to mix that shit?' because it was implied.
"Insomnia is a bitch." Fai shrugged and Kurogane nodded.
Fuck him if he didn't believe what Blondie was telling him. It didn't not make sense. He had picked up that Fai probably had issues with alcohol—made even more sense when you figured what doing what he did for a living did to a man.
A Normal man at any rate…
Fai wasn't fucking normal—but being a criminal had to be anything but low stress.
The fact that the blond was fucked up on something was obvious—way more fucked up then he had been when he had dragged Kurogane to his family home. He had never taken sleeping pills—but he knew mixing them with alcohol was bad news because of the effect they had on the body.
Fai couldn't be in his right mind—but that didn't explain the blood.
Kurogane was supposed to believe that Blondie either had fallen asleep in bloodied clothes or had rolled out of bed in a panic and threw on a dirty shirt? With the better lighting of the living room, it was easy to see that the plasma had long since dried… but it still shouldn't fucking be there.
His lack of a response must have been making Blondie nervous because he started stuttering more bullshit that Kurogane didn't fucking believe.
"I shouldn't… I'm sorry…"
Another apology. His mood dropped even lower.
Kurogane growled low in his throat and Fai just bit his lip.
Yeah, right.
Sure.
Kurogane didn't fucking care about Fai showing up in the middle of the god damn night and bothering him for a stupid dream. Idiot probably was just trying to say what he needed to to get the fuck out of here, anyways.
Useless words.
A waste of time.
An apology for lying would be nice? Maybe for leaving him to find out at fucking work that he had been fucking the enemy? For playing fucking house with him just long enough to catch his genuine affection before ghosting and making him look like a fucking moron?
The cop knew there was no point in asking for an apology for the shit that Fai had actually wronged him over—Blondie probably didn't give two shits about any of that. He was obviously uncomfortable and regretting his decision for a late night visit—and saying what he needed to to get his own damn way.
It was fucking infuriating.
Almost as infuriating as that he wasn't mad, inconvenienced, or even upset that Fai had stumbled over because of a nightmare. Instead that just about tugged at every protective fiber in the cop's body…
The way that Blondie's shoulders were hunched, the way he was shaking like a fucking leaf even though the apartment was nice and warm, the way his eyes were darting around the room and his entire being was radiating anxiety was just icing on the fucking cake.
Looking that god damn pathetic wasn't doing anything to connect those two fucking dots that was for sure—and it was a whole hell of a lot easier to see what he knew—the beautiful blond idiot who was glued to his phone and loved his father—than the demon those reports painted Fai to be.
The drug lord.
The murderer.
The cop killer.
The monster.
That's what the bastard was under all those charming smiles and pretty words after all. He hadn't known who he had been climbing into bed with—opening his heart to—who he had been letting into his home.
Nope. What a hell of a surprise. Then again, normally you didn't have to worry about your Tinder crush being one of the fucking most wanted men in Tokyo—Fai sure as fuck hadn't noted that in his profile.
In hindsight—Kurogane had been lucky things had ended when and how they had—no matter how bad it still stung. If someone had found out? If they had been seen together by the wrong person? He would have lost his damn job and been a suspected accomplice without even knowing what he had done wrong…
Fai had let him walk into that.
He had proudly shown the pictures of Fai to his old man—taken Blondie to one of his favorite dinner spots that was also frequented by his fellow officers—it could have happened.
And if it had?
It would have changed his entire fucking life. He never would have been able to do police work again—that much was for fucking sure—and the moron hadn't had the god damn decency to warn him. Hadn't even been man enough to fill him in on the details himself, the fucking coward.
And for what?
To fuck him three times and ghost?
He wanted to ask Fai if it had been worth it—if it still would have been worth it if the fucker had ruined his career—but he didn't.
They would get to that.
A deathly silence fell between them and the longer it persisted, the more frustrated Kurogane got. The only sounds were of an occasional whine from Bigg and Fai sniffing his nose and bouncing his leg—Blondie refused to look at him and his wide eyes were trying to take everything in all at once.
He just sat on the other side of the couch shivering—half curled in on himself and doing the silent tear thing.
The cop found himself remembering the way that Fai had faced off with that Seishiro bastard—gone nose to nose with him as though he didn't have a single fear in the entire world. Then, there had been the cocky air about him the night they had first met—how Fai had managed to put the cop right where he had wanted to, and keep him there with words alone.
And here he was now.
Shaking, upset and afraid—and all Kurogane wanted to do was fucking help him.
Even after all the shit he had pulled—and that wasn't fucking right. There was something wrong with his head because he fucking knew better. Kurogane shouldn't care. He was a cop and should be arresting the bastard.
"I'm sorry…" Fai's voice was no louder this time—just barely above a whisper as he drew in a shaky breath. "I shouldn't have come here. I should go…"
"Stop apologizing and start explaining." Kurogane took his own deep breath and started weighing his options.
He wasn't going to keep Fai here if he wanted to leave—but he got the feeling that Blondie didn't really want to go. He was too unsettled for that. Too cold. Too intoxicated. The cop also wasn't going to make him leave, either. Not until he got his answers.
When Fai didn't respond to that after a half minute, he had had enough. The cop wasn't gonna play this fucking game.
Getting to his feet, Kurogane headed down the hall again without another word. First stop was the bathroom to heat the shower up—then to the bedroom to grab a set of dry clothes for the moron to wear.
He couldn't stand to look at him when he was shaking like that and if it went on any longer, he was liable to snap.
When the water was hot, towels ready and clean clothes set on the sink, the cop skulked back up the hall and fixed the blond with a serious look. "C'mon."
It was a good thing that Blondie didn't try to argue with him because Kurogane was in no mood to deal with any bullshit. Quietly, Fai got to his feet, swaying as he did so—Kurogane was sure the idiot was going to topple over but he managed to catch his balance and muttered a quick apology before following the cop down the hall.
He seemed confused when he realized what was happening—Kurogane didn't know what Fai had been expecting—but he fixed Kurogane with a wide-eyed stare as he was ushered into the bathroom.
"I don't understand."
"Take a fucking shower. It's not that complicated." Kurogane turned to leave but stopped when an icy hand grabbed his wrist.
"That's… Why are you being so nice to me?" Blondie's brows were furrowed, and he still refused to look up at Kurogane as he spoke.
He seriously needed to get to the bottom of why the older man was so fucking off tonight… It couldn't just be a fucking dream. There was no way a grown man would be this fucking unsettled by something like that, right?
"I can't stand to look at you like this. Clean that shit off—" the cop motioned to the blood on Fai's clothes and the blond seemed almost surprised to see it there. "—wash your face and put on some dry clothes. Stop the damn shivering and come back out to the living room."
Kurogane pulled his hand free from Fai's grip and closed the door behind him so he didn't have to see the look on the idiots face any longer.
He occupied himself with taking the dog out and making tea while he waited—utilizing the time alone to collect himself and mentally go through the things he wanted to say.
There was a lot.
It had only been a month and he had spent more than enough hours mulling over the information in those reports… the terrible things Fai had supposedly done—he had a boatload of questions and this was gonna be his only chance to get answers.
He was willing to risk time with the idiot to get them.
And Fai took his sweet ass time.
Biggs got up to rush down the hall as soon as the shower was turned off, but a stern look kept him in place. He knew it wasn't easy for his pooch to sit on the other side of the room when he knew his boy wanted nothing more than to get his dose of cuddles from Fai.
Biggs hadn't gotten to read the reports. He didn't have to see those pictures. Idiot dog didn't know any better.
When Blondie finally reappeared, he didn't look any more sober and somehow managed to look even more miserable.
At least he had knocked off the shivering.
Fai loitered at the opening to the hallway and kept his gaze downcast. His eyes were puffy and red from the tears and the dark circles under them made it appear as though he hadn't slept in days. The cop's clothes absolutely hung off of him, and dammit all if it didn't make Blondie fucking seem even smaller and frailer.
Biggs trotted over to Fai and Kurogane let him go. He watched curiously as the blond kept his arms tightly wrapped around his midsection and gave the dog a small sad smile as the K9 looked up at him expectantly—chuffing and bouncing his front feet when Fai only continued to give him that sad look.
What game was Fai playing at?
"You're allowed to pet him. He's been waiting patiently for you to say hello since you showed your pathetic face." Blue eyes glanced up momentarily and the cop nodded once.
That was apparently what Blondie had been waiting for because Fai sunk down onto his knees then sat back on his ass gracelessly. Opening his arms, he wrapped Biggs in an almost childish embrace, and buried his tired face in the fur of his chest.
Kurogane had never seen the pooch willingly—let alone happily—endure being smushed like that. Biggs just patiently held his head up straight as he was held—tail slowly but contently swishing back and forth.
Fucking Christ.
This reunion was much calmer than the last time when Fai had dropped him off in front of his building—but Biggs was just as eager for the attention and Blondie just as willing to give it. The idiot seemed to totally tune everything out and just focused all his attention solely on hugging the fur ball and Kurogane left them be for a while.
Simply watched.
The fact that he found it endearing pissed him off. The way that those two were settling each other into a calmer state—Biggs getting the attention he had been waiting for and Fai becoming more grounded as he ran his fingers through the dog's thick fur.
Why the fuck did Biggs have to like him so much?
He leaned against the counter and drank his tea while he waited for Fai to say something.
Anything.
He gave it about ten minutes before he gave up hope on that front—the idiot only seemed to want to fret over the dog and hide from his surroundings. Kurogane figured the head of a drug ring might have better fucking constitution—and it only pushed the connection of Fai, and Fai Fluorite, further away.
Kurogane sighed.
"Hey!" The cop rose to his full height and headed back over to the stove to grab the kettle and fix some more tea. When he didn't hear an answer, he looked back towards the blond and sighed again. "Blondie?"
Fai only curled around Biggs a little more and Kurogane growled low in his throat.
He wasn't spending the whole night watching him avoid anything and everything on the fucking floor like a toddler.
Snagging another mug from the cupboard, he made the idiot a cup of tea and took them both over to the couch and set them on the coffee table. Turning back towards them, he snapped his fingers once and pointed at the couch—Biggs managing to twist around in Fai's arms to see what was wanted, and reluctantly trotted over to the couch and hopped up on to the cushion.
Blondie still refused to look up at him and Kurogane leaned down to grab the mug before addressing him. "You too, idiot. Couch."
Fai was wobbly as he got to his feet, and for the second time tonight, Kurogane was sure he was gonna topple over—he managed to catch himself again, and slowly walked across the room and took a seat next to Biggs.
Before they could retake their previous position, Kurogane shoved the mug into the moron's hands. "Drink. Sober up. You're not getting out of this."
Fai took the damn thing, but his hands were shaking so bad that he spilled the hot liquid on his hands and yelped almost as soon as the cop let go. With two hands he managed a steadier grip and Kurogane headed back over to his own seat.
Blondie did as he was told and slowly sipped on his tea. Biggs settled for resting his big head in the blond's lap—and Kurogane tried not to think too much about it all while he waited for Fai to get with it more.
When he had finished his tea, Fai got up to take care of his own dish and snagged Kurogane's empty cup as he went. For the first time since he had shown his face—things felt almost normal with the simple exchange and it only made the cop feel even more prickly.
He shouldn't slip into comfortable patterns with Fai.
Not surprisingly—Biggs hopped off the couch followed him into the kitchen—sticking right to his left side like glue. Blondie washed both the mugs in the sink before setting it into them into the drying rack. Biggs got a few more pats before they headed back to the couch with Fai sitting back down as far away from the cop as possible—the pooch happily hopping up next to him.
He'd call his bastard dog a traitor—but Kurogane really couldn't blame him for wanting to comfort the idiot. He was more with it sure—but he was far from the smiling bastard that could banter circles around the cop and get him out of his shell and playing his games.
No—Fai might not be trembling crying any longer—but he sure as fuck wasn't himself.
Kurogane couldn't shake the feeling that something was seriously wrong with him. Maybe not physically… but he was left wondering what the fuck could shake the cocky bastard so badly.
He wasn't buying the dream shit.
"So?" Kurogane barked after a few more minutes of silence.
He really had been trying to be fucking patient—but the moron didn't make it easy.
Fai, of course, didn't answer him right away—he pulled his feet up from the floor and twisted his body so that his back was leaning against the armrest and his feet were on the next cushion over.
Biggs made himself comfortable crawling into Fai's arms again—flopping over on his side and using Blondie's chest as a pillow, the pooch ended up with his front feet curled to his big body and his bottom legs tucked up under Fai's—hanging half off the edge of the couch.
Those two needed to knock the cute shit off.
Once they were comfortable, Fai—having all the fur he could ever need to fidget with and keep his hands busy—finally fucking answered.
It was a bullshit answer—but words were progress.
"I'm sorry." Fai gave a small sad smile and Kurogane found himself growling angrily.
If Blondie gave one more apology without context—for the wrong god damn thing—Kurogane was gonna knock his fucking teeth in.
"Don't fucking lie to me, you bastard." Kurogane glared hard and Fai simply shrugged and focused on the dog again.
He couldn't ever remember being this fucking frustrated, and he wasn't in the mood for games.
Fai took his time to gather his thoughts—or at least that's what Kurogane assumed he was doing, given the way he tuned everything out and almost robotically dragged his fingers up and down Biggs' body.
"I'm too—" Blondie sighed. "I'm not in a state to think lies through…"
No—he probably wasn't—if he was this physically out of things, then mentally, he wasn't any better.
Kurogane didn't care, though.
Fai had already proven that he was a shifty fucking bastard.
"Or you could be lying about that, too." Kurogane leaned back and continued to glare at Blondie who more or less didn't pay him any mind.
So what if he was telling the truth? He had seen Fai totally trashed and act as sober as the day he was born not that long ago. So what if Fai tended to get talkative and blab when he drank? So what about the conversation that led to the whole handcuff fiasco?
If he could easily do both, why should he trust the bastard was telling the truth now.
"Then don't believe me…" Fai's hands paused—tangled in the dog's fur just before he gave Biggs a little squeeze. "I'm sorry you can't trust me."
His fists knotted so tightly that Kurogane felt his nails bite into his palms.
Was he now?
Because that apology wasn't any more believable than the last had been.
"Whatever kind of game you're playing—I'm not. Speak plainly before you piss me off."
Fai gave a thoughtful hum and started drawing his hands back up and down Biggs' side again and Kurogane was seriously losing his patients, and after another fucking prolonged silence, his eye was twitching in frustration.
"What do you want me to say?" Fai looked up again and gave him a perfectly broken smile—eyes open and shining with some emotion Kurogane couldn't quite pin. "Kuro-chan won't believe me, anyways…"
Fuck Fai.
That was his own damn fault now, wasn't it?
Kurogane wasn't at fucking fault for Fai being a criminal piece of shit. How was he supposed to believe someone who could lie so beautifully? He was backed into a corner as far as his thoughts on Fai's honesty went.
There was no way for him to know—so why would he fucking assume anything was the truth?
It was Kurogane who took his time in offering an answer. He wasn't flippant or dishonest with his words—he always said what he meant—he was gonna be damn well sure that his words were not misinterpreted or misunderstood.
He had one fucking chance to get his answer, any closer there might be, and be done with the dumpster fire that was Fai D. Flourite.
"Give me one good reason why I should believe a word that comes out of your mouth?" Kurogane watched Fai carefully and felt a chill at the sorrowful laugh he had earned himself. .
Not a ha-ha-that's-so-funny kind of laugh—more like the kind of hopeless laugh of someone who had given up hope and resigned themselves to whatever fate lay ahead of them.
It didn't suit the bastard one bit. Idiot shouldn't sound that fucking hopeless no matter what was going on behind the scenes. It caused Kurogane to involuntarily shiver and clench his jaw—frustration starting to build again faster then he could rationalize it.
"I don't have one." Fai shrugged and brought a hand up to play with one of the pup's ears. "I'm sorry…"
"Stop fucking apologizing." Kurogane didn't realize he had raised his voice until Biggs stirred in Blondie's arms—his head whipping around to see what the hell was the matter.
Fai's only response was to coo softly at the damn dog and Kurogane took a few deep breaths. Screaming at the idiot wasn't gonna help—he didn't actually give a shit if it upset Blondie—but his poor pooch didn't need to deal with that. Biggs was extremely sensitive to his moods and he wasn't gonna torture his boy just to get some of this fucking anger out.
Fai didn't respond to him and just continued to fuss over the dog.
"If you really wanted me to trust you, you wouldn't have lied to my face about—" who the fuck knew. Everything? Somethings? Big details? Little details?
Blondie didn't give him a chance to complete that thought—another bitter laugh cut him off and Fai was back to playing with the dog's ears. "Did you ever consider… that maybe I didn't want you to trust me?"
No.
The cop hadn't.
Not with how sweet the fucker had acted until he had gotten him upstairs at his parent's house. Even after he had warned the younger man not to fall for him—he had gone right back to his affectionate goofy self the next morning.
Yeah—Fai had called him on not having any idea who he was dealing with—had been right about that… but Kurogane had trusted the fucker enough to feel betrayed, apparently… He had never been worried about Fai trying to screw him over—just seemed like he wasn't up for commitment.
"You shouldn't trust me, Kuro-chan… I tried to make that clear."
Kurogane had to stop himself dead in his tracks at that, because his first thought was who the hell was Fai to tell him who he was and was not allowed to trust—but that was the whole reason his head was all fucked up now, wasn't it.
He had trusted the beautiful bastard because Fai had just seemed so simply loving and generous with his affection once you peeled back the first few layers—learning that he had actually been a career criminal, probably murderer, drug trafficker as well as dealing in the sex trade?
Loving fucking people didn't sell other humans poison for a quick fucking buck.
Two more deep breaths and Kurogane decided he needed to make this more simple—for the drunk idiot as much as himself. He wasn't used to things being so—
Messy.
Everything about this situation was a mess.
"Where did that blood come from?" Kurogane was gonna start from the beginning—immediate concerns first—and work his way back.
He couldn't ask Fai everything all at once.
"Oh…" Fai looked down at his chest and seemed surprised to see that he had already changed—his lips twitched into a slight smile and he shrugged dismissively. "Work."
Well wasn't that real fucking comforting to hear. The suspected murderer drug lord had shown up at his doorstep at 2am with 'work stains' on his clothes.
Kurogane simply stared him down until he continued, and Fai took a second to catch up. "I punched a fuckboy for grinding on my ass… broke his nose and threw him out because I was in a bad mood." Blondie glanced back up through his lashes and offered a sheepish smile. "I'm under a lotta stress at work, right now."
The cop sighed.
Well—that was a hell of a lot better than he had been assuming—but not what he wanted to hear. Not that Kurogane knew what kinda answer he woulda liked… maybe that he had spilled a drink on himself?
That it wasn't blood at all?
That everything about him being a fucking criminal was just a huge misunderstanding and he really was the sweet, cuddle deprived, flirty idiot he had acted like?
Kurogane found himself rubbing at his temples as he tried to narrow down exactly how he wanted to ask Fai about work while also deciding if he was actually going to believe a damn thing the idiot was telling him.
Apparently he took too long because hesitantly Fai posed a question of his own. One Kurogane hadn't been expecting.
"You know now, right? Everything?" Blondie had his eyes glued to the way his hands were drawing random patterns in Biggs' fur as he spoke—but his tone of voice gave away more than his expression ever would. Hesitant—like he was afraid of the answer.
Kurogane couldn't help but snort.
No—there was no way everything was in those fucking reports—he would bet his badge on it.
"I should have you in fucking handcuffs, you know." Fai nodded slowly and Kurogane sighed again.
If his boss found out that he had been fucking Fai D. Fluorite? That he had the most wanted criminal in the city curled on up on his couch cuddling his fucking police dog?
Had he mentioned that this whole mess with Fai was a fucking dumpster fire?
"I can't—" Blondie started but stopped again—scrubbed at his own face and sighed. "—because you're… your job that is…"
"What the fuck are you trying to say?" Because Kurogane really wanted to fucking know.
He can't talk about his job in front of Kurogane for fear that the cop will drag his ass into the station? Rat on him to his superiors?
"That's why I should go." Fai schooled his features into a small sad smile that screamed act to Kurogane and instantly felt his aggression rising again.
"I said no games Blondie—you're not fucking going anywhere until you answer my questions."
"—So you're arresting me?" Fai glanced up—got one look at the mean mug Kurogane was giving him—and looked back down at his hands. His voice was steadier now—firm in his question and all the cop could think was what the ever-loving fuck.
"No. Now talk."
"So, this is personal?" Blondie asked quickly with another cautious glance up to meet ruby eyes.
Kurogane was taken back by that question. His brows furrowed and he had to think—really think about how much of this was because he personally felt betrayed by someone he had quickly fallen for—and how much was because he was professionally interested in stopping someone like Fai.
It was fucking personal—they wouldn't be having this talk if it wasn't personal—he wouldn't be giving him a chance to explain if it wasn't personal.
"It damn well is.." That earned him a shaky breath in return and Fai leaned down to pop a kiss onto Biggs' snout before giving him another squeeze—choosing to fuss over the dog rather than answer right away.
Fai had a far off look in his eye as he mulled the cop's words over—when he finally tuned back into the here and now, he looked up at Kurogane and held his gaze—it was impossible to know what was going through his mind. The cop didn't really trust that he could read the idiot, given how badly he had already misjudged him.
Kurogane could tell that whatever he was thinking about—his mind was going a million miles an hour as they held gazes—blue eyes misting with tears that threatened to fall right up until he answered.
"I—I didn't…" Blondie took another shaky breath and swiped at his cheeks. "—When we met, I had no idea that you were…"
Fai closed his eyes slowly—squeezing them tightly shut for a few seconds before opening them again. He gave Kurogane another long stare, but never finished his sentence and left the younger man seriously fucking confused.
Wasn't the answer or reaction he had been expecting.
"That I was a cop?" Fai nodded once and Kurogane knew in at least that—Blondie wasn't lying. They hadn't discussed careers until the second night they had met—when he had pulled Fai over when he had been going to the hospital to see his father.
Which… now that he thought about it—Kurogane knew for a fact that the excuse he had been given hadn't been a lie, either… He had not only seen the actual text messages— but he had seen the idiot stay at the hospital for hours—listened to Blondie talk about the man's health issues—and had seen the fucking results when they had ended up in their home.
That had all been truth.
"When you pulled me over after that…. Was I supposed to confess to my tinder fuck all my dirty deeds and let you slap the cuffs on then and there?" Fai's pitch went up at the end of that sentence and he watched the blond bite his lower lip as his shining blue eyes watched the younger man's every move—waiting for a response.
Kurogane, again, didn't answer quickly enough—and Blondie continued after swiping at his eyes.
"Was I supposed to tell you after getting my first solid night's sleep in weeks? When your dog decided to snuggle me, and you kept smiling? When you made me coffee and let me laze on the couch all day, relaxing for the first time in fuck… years?" Fai's volume only got quieter and his voice broke on the very last word.
Kurogane sure as fuck didn't know how to answer that.
Wasn't expecting to be met with this kind of emotion…
Subjectively? Nah—he didn't blame Blondie for not fessing up—but he didn't have to fucking play house with him after that.
Didn't have to make him fall in love.
He could have ended it.
"I admit that it was a shit move—" Fai continued—his eyes dropping back down. "—but I can't take it back. I can only apologize, and you don't believe me… So that's it. Personally, that's all I have to say about it—So can we be done?"
"No." Kurogane watched as Fai started again with the fidgeting and snuffed his nose as a tear snuck its way down his cheek.
Why the fuck was he crying?
Why was that little confession pulling at all of the cop's god damn heartstrings?
"Why did you call me again, then. You fucking knew—you knew that there was no way we could ever wor—" Kurogane's mouth snapped shut as Fai cut him off.
"I said I was sorry—you don't believe me." Blondie didn't raise his voice, but his words were sharp—his eyes narrowing as his hands stilled—a few more shaky breaths—and he started petting the dog again.
"Why." the cop glared right back even though the idiot wasn't looking at him,
Fai was going to fucking answer him.
He didn't get to fucking crash land back into things when Kurogane hadn't even sorted through the pieces from the last time—and not fucking explain himself.
"Tell. Me. Why."
Fai was still playing mute—glaring down at his own hands—tears still occasionally slipping free. Blondie was obviously getting more upset—more worked up—and even though his breathing was slow and purposefully measured, Fai was crying enough that his tears were falling from his chin down onto the dog. Biggs didn't give a fuck—had too much thick fur to feel it, anyways—if he did he was too preoccupied with staring Fai down with big brown eyes to pay it any notice.
If that shit didn't make Fai feel better—he was gonna guess this wasn't faking.
"Blondie." Kurogane sterned up his tone—relaxed and put anger on the back burner as he tried to get the idiot to answer her.
Biggs perked up—picking up on the shift in the air—wiggling around to lap at Fai's cheeks in his own attempt to draw Fai out of whatever the fuck was going on behind those blue eyes. It was like they had back-peddled—back to how shaken and terrified Fai had looked when he had been standing on the other side of the door…
As much as he wanted to grab the older man's shoulders and force Fai to look at him—to stop fucking daydreaming and answer the god damn questions—he forced himself to sit still.
To wait.
To de-escalate.
Kurogane didn't expect for Fai to push Biggs away with a gentle hand on the chest and fixed the cop with a dead-eyed stare. "I said I was sorry."
The cop closed his eyes for a few seconds and counted back from ten. When he opened them again his tone was still more harsh then he meant it to be—but dammit—this bastard didn't make the cool-and-calm thing easy.
"Fuck that. You're not fucking sorry—you knew the entire time what you were doing. You know the consequences for me, and you decided whatever you got from it was worth it." Kurogane had his fists closed so tightly at this point that his nails were digging into his palms—his shoulders so tense he was damn near shacking with the effort it took to stay composed.
Fai continued to watch him with that same expression on his face, and Kurogane didn't know what he was supposed to fucking do. Why he was so god damn knotted up over this. He should just accept that Fai was a piece of shit and move the fuck on.
Blondie was right—he didn't believe a damn thing the moron said—he had obviously made up his mind about it right?
So why was everything still a giant fucking tangled mess?
"I never claimed to be good." Fai's whispered, and again, that was not what the cop had been expecting to hear.
No—Fai had never claimed he was good or bad.
Didn't fucking help, though.
Kurogane and Biggs both decided that he was good once they had gotten time to warm up—and to know they had been fucking fooled by a pretty face stung.
"I just—" Fai swiped at his cheeks. "You were the first person I wanted to call when shit hit the fan…"
Kurogane's jaw went slack for the first time since he had set eyes on Fai. He blinked at the older man a few times and repeated that phrase to himself a few times as he tried to process what that meant.
Coming from Fai—what the fuck did that mean?
"I knew what I was doing was wrong and I—" Fai paused to gather his words and Kurogane wasn't sure if he really wanted to hear the other half of the sentence. "—I tried to warn you that I had to stop being around you because… well, we're too different."
Fuck.
The cop nodded slowly.
Well didn't those answers just made things a whole hell of a lot more complicated.
Kurogane shouldn't have let Fai in tonight. These answers were the opposite of helpful even if they made sense. He just didn't want to be so willing to believe them.
"'N tonight?" the cop prompted. He needed to know if this was really because of a bad dream.
"Tonight…. is not a good night for me…" Blue eyes finally looked away again and Fai seemed to get that far off look in his eyes again. "I woke up panicked and needed to know you guys hadn't…"
"Hadn't?" Kurogane asked after Fai let the sentence remain unfinished for a few minutes.
"I had a dream you got in a car accident…" The sentence was spoken in a high pitched rush—the last word cracking. Fai took a deep breath and collected himself before continuing. "It's dumb—I know—but I get weird dreams when I take sleeping pills and until I saw you both in once piece—" Fai shook his head slowly and scrubbed at his eyes, but the tears had already started again.
Aaaaaaaand that just made it even worse.
Kurogane cursed under his breath and rubbed at the back of his neck and looked away in an attempt to process how he had managed to go from wanting to rip this idiot throat out to feeling sorry for the poor bastard.
So, what the fuck was he supposed to do now?
Fai was dreaming about him getting in car accidents and rushing to him to sooth his fears? The cop hadn't forgotten how Fai had told him about his own bad accident over dinner—and the amount of fucking emotion those words were laced with?
Shit.
Fuck.
He should not be feeling sorry for this bastard.
"Can I go?" Kurogane stared back over at Fai who looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here at the moment.
The cop had more he wanted to ask him… but it was fucking late. They were both tired—and if Fai was really that fucked up on different substances—he probably would get better answers out of him tomorrow.
"No." the cop got to his feet. "It's late. Just stay over. I'll take you where you wanna go tomorrow."
He knew that once Fai was out that door—he was probably never going to see the bastard again. Kurogane would let him go tomorrow once he had answered the last few questions—about how much faking he had done when they were together—how much truth there had been, if any.
Fai was giving him an odd look now.
Kurogane didn't give a fuck what he was thinking—he wasn't going to explain himself. Blondie no doubt would dip if he knew there was more interrogation coming his way tomorrow morning.
He waited at the end of the hall for Fai to get to his feet and follow him back down to the bedroom—and Fai only continued to watch him with that odd look.
"It's… ok for me to stay here?" Kurogane nodded and Fai still didn't look convinced.
"Don't fucking test me, idiot. Get your ass to bed before I change my damn mind." Kurogane snapped a little too harshly, but the smallest of smiles graced the idiot's lips and he slowly got to his feet and followed Kurogane down the hall.
Normally—Kurogane didn't share his bed with people he wasn't romantically involved with or related to. He didn't trust the moron not to sneak out while he was sleeping through—but he knew there was no way Fai would be able to crawl over him without waking him up.
So, they were gonna sleep in the same bed so he could keep an eye on the moron.
Fai didn't seem to have any issues with sharing—not that he was surprised at that—and the blond was damn near out as soon as his head hit the pillow.
Biggs didn't usually sleep in the bed, but he jumped right up between his handler and Fai and hunkered down like the happiest floof in the world—and Kurogane was left staring at the fucking ceiling, trying to get himself to relax enough to sleep.
While he did manage to get a few hours—as soon as the sun was up, his sleep was fucked and he headed back out to the living room so he didn't have to listen to Fai's soft breathing or look at the way he had wrapped himself around Biggs.
Those two really needed to knock off the cute shit.
Kurogane just let Fai sleep, and sleep he did.
Couldn't say he was surprised, given how run-down Blondie had looked last night. As much as he hated spending the whole day sitting on his ass waiting for the moron to gain consciousness again—it gave him time to think and process.
For the first time since finding out the truth—Kurogane sat down and tried to unknot it from the top. Had he been too dense? Had he been as naive as Fai tried to claim? Slow on the uptake and mis-placing trust when Fai had done anything but ask for it—let alone earn it.
Biggs had liked him and that had been more than enough for Kurogane to assume that Blondie couldn't be half bad. His pooch didn't necessarily hate everyone—but he sure as fuck was selective with who he chose to shower with affection and he had seen Fai get more love from the fluffy bastard than Biggs had probably passed on to his handler in the last year.
Before that—had he been on the right track? After their very first meeting. When Fai had invited him out for a late-night drink to fuck him in that booth. How cocky and confident Fai had been—leading and handing over control once he had had his fill of teasing—then sending Kurogane off with his number and a kiss like he was a cute little distraction.
He hadn't even really liked the fucker at the end of the night. Hadn't liked the way Fai seemed to have a power over him and was able to twist him around into a blushing mess without even trying. Fai had been beautiful and mysterious, but Kurogane had been content to never talk to the pretty bastard again.
Why?
Because Fai had screamed fucking trouble.
When he had pulled Fai over a week later, he had been surprised, sure—but he hadn't been ready to throw caution to the wind yet. Sure—he had gone back to double check that things with the idiot's pops were ok…
But that hadn't been for Fai so much as just the right thing to do. Kurogane's own mother was sickly and it was a shitty spot to be in—and when the moron had come out looking like a mother fucking zombie who couldn't even hold his hand steady…
The least he could do was take him to dinner. Dinner had turned into drinks. Drinks had turned into flirting—and until that next morning, Fai kept that cool, calm and in control act going. Had been chill during the traffic stop all the way up until he'd gotten him naked and panting…
That night was when Fai had started in with his teasing warnings about not getting attached—and at that point—the cop had had no intention of doing so.
Fai was still way too big of a wild card for his tastes, even if his calm energy at the pub had been a breath of fresh air when compared to the snarky sexy act from the night before. Kurogane had started to see just how many different sides the idiot had—and that made him a hard no.
Up until now, Kurogane liked simple.
Simple people.
Simple lovers.
Fai had shown a simple human side that night—but had proven that overall he just had too much shit going on to be interested in finding a lover—and Kurogane had been fine with that.
Biggs had not. The fucker had snuggled up next to Blondie the first chance he had gotten and adopted him into their little pack. Fai had been able to do simple that entire next day and while Kurogane again had been fully prepared to never see the bastard again—he had looked good in the cop's clothes, using the dog as a pillow.
He shouldn't have let Biggs sway his decision—he had known Fai had been a bad idea. Sure, Kurogane had had no way of ever fucking guessing why—but just the fact that he could act like two totally different people at the drop of a hat?
Fai had tried to warn him, too—that next morning after staying over, he had playfully warned the cop of getting too comfortable with him and Kurogane had brushed it off as more teasing.
After all those thinly veiled warnings that the cop had easily brushed off, Fai had called him out again for drinks and sex…
Why?
Had Fai just intended to keep warning him but never putting a fucking end to it? Not until it clicked that he had tricked the cop into having very obvious feelings for him? After bringing him into his home? Introducing him to his parents? Cooing over Biggs and kissing and hugging him like the dog was his favorite thing in the goddamn world?
Couldn't he have just fucking cut it off if he really didn't give a fuck about screwing Kurogane over?
And wasn't that last thought a dangerous one.
Because there was really only one answer that connected all the fucking dots and it was not fucking helpful. It wasn't his place to assume the answer—and he sure as hell wasn't gonna believe it till he heard it from the horse's mouth.
There was no way in hell someone who murdered that many people, that sold poison for profit, that peddled woman and that was the leader of a major criminal organization gave a fuck.
There couldn't be any serious affection or good will there beside physical attraction, right?
The cop didn't care how sweet the fucker was around his parents… how sweet he was on Biggs… How fucking desperate for affection and touch Fai was…
There was no way he actually cared for anything past getting what he wanted… If he did, he could damn well say so and… after hours of ,Kurogane had not surprisingly come to the conclusion that this had been a bad fucking idea.
What made this whole situation 10 times worse was that every time that bastard's phone went off, he wanted to hit something because he damn well knew what it was about.
Work.
Yeah—Fai had crashed into his life—made him believe he was worth caring for—and then dipped while making him look like a total fucking fool because the cop had gotten charmed by the crime boss like a fucking pathetic lovesick teen.
As much as that grated at him—he should be strictly dealing with this in a professional sense. That was the biggest problem for him right now. Fai should be in a fucking holding cell, not curled up in bed with his idiot dog napping contently and getting a free pass because he fucked a cop.
This shouldn't be personal—civil duty barred that…but because that's all it was—he needed to fucking settle this and send Fai on his way.
End this.
Move on.
The sun had already set by the time there was any movement at all from the back bedroom from his surprise house guest. Biggs had only left the idiot's side to do his business and eat and Kurogane was expecting a request for more outside time when he heard the floorboards creak.
Wasn't like it was jaw dropping to see Blondie stumbling up the hall with Biggs stuck to his left side like glue— given how long he was sleeping, it was damn well past time—but Kurogane still wasn't prepared.
All that time to mentally get ready for this sight—and his heart still ached like a bitch.
Fai paused at the end of the hall and looked at Kurogane with an exhausted stare. Blinked a few times—rubbed one of his eyes with the back of his hand—stared some more and finally spoke.
"Fuck."
Kurogane snorted.
He couldn't have said it better, himself.
Fuck 'bout summed this mess up.
Fai shrugged when he didn't receive any more of a response and trudged across the room to basically fall down onto the couch with a sigh. Kurogane clenched his jaw impossible tight and got up to let the dog out, get a bottle of water for the moron, and toss it his way before he sat back down.
"Thanks…" Fai accepted the bottle of water and sipped it like this was totally fucking normal.
Like he hadn't shown up on Kurogane's doorstep at 2am, crying and shaking over a fucking dream. Like he hadn't fucked him even though he knew he could cost the cop his job and land him in hot water. Like he didn't fucking know that Kurogane had to find out what he meant by 'too different' from his boss.
He would never fucking forget that terrible feeling of hearing Fai's name in that god damn meeting and how any hope that HIS Fai was not THE Fai had slowly been lost as he read further and further into those fucking reports.
Blondie had the balls to just sit on the fucking couch like none of that had fucking happened?
"You're mad?" Fai asked after he had slowly finished off the water—fixing the cop with a small smile as he tilted his head.
Kurogane just continued to glare daggers—grinding his teeth as he tried to get a handle on his words.
Fai didn't wait long. His smile fell a half moment later and he sighed and ran a hand through his messy hair.
"You know… if you keep glaring at me like that I might just burst into flames." The teasing tone was not appreciated.
This was not a fucking joke.
"—I'm not the one that is gonna have to clean it up… so be all you can be… but maaaaybe if we talked about it Kuro-grump would feel better?"
"Fuck. You." Kurogane growled and Blondie actually relaxed at the response.
"I deserve that." The bastard shrugged and Kurogane never wanted to fucking hit someone so bad in his life. Who would have thought that teary eyed hot mess Fai was easier to deal with than sober Fai? "I warned you, but I should have done more."
"That's all you have to fucking say, you god damn bastard?" Kurogane's hands were fisted too tight again—hurting uncomfortably where his nails had bit into the skin last night. He was to fucking pissed to care. How this bastard could get him this fucking angry with a few short sentences was something else.
Everything about the beautiful bastard was something else, and Kurogane had had about enough of him and his games.
Fai fucking shrugged and gave that same smile and Kurogane growled. "What do you want me to say, Kuro-chan?"
The cop felt his eye twitch at that question. A repeat from the night before—setting him off just as much as it had then. Did Blondie think there was a magic formula of behavior that would make this all go away?
"Try the fucking truth." Fai only blinked at that and the cop got up and paced across the room—paced back—then paced over to the door to let his pooch in.
Biggs headed for the water dish and they both watched him drink—sloppily splashing water all over the floor around the dish before bounding off down the hall and back to the bedroom. Kurogane knew what he was doing—focused on wiping up the water so he didn't have to see him trot back in with that damn pillow in his mouth.
Biggs launched himself onto the couch and dropped it on Fai before making like a lap dog—and crawling on top of Blondie to bully more affection from him.
The lack of activity during the day was showing—Biggs was buzzing with energy and was gonna need to go for a run if there was any hope of him being manageable the rest of the night. For now—he was thankfully content to crawl all over Blondie and wiggle the energy off.
Of course…
He was trying to have a fucking serious conversation with the blond bastard, so this brought its own frustrations. Mainly that it was like a stab in the fucking chest to watch those too interreact.
Biggs didn't treat anyone like he treated Fai…
No one could come into his apartment—sleep in his damn bed—curl up on the fucking couch—and cuddle his pooch like his was a puppy.
Only Fai.
The fucking drug lord.
Once Blondie had showered Biggs with enough attention that he was spared the overenthusiastic face kisses… He finally answered Kurogane's question. "Care to specify? I'll answer what I can."
What he can…
"The fuck does that mean?" Kurogane leaned against the counter and Fai quirked a brow.
"You're a cop, Kuro-sweet. Personal or business?"
He scowled at the nickname.
Well—at least that finally made some fucking sense… also made him wonder how much of last night Fai even remembered… They'd already had the it's personal talk.
"How much of last night do you remember…" Fai broke into a goofy grin and Kurogane sighed.
"None of how I ended up here or any trouble I may have caused you." Fai popped a smooch onto the side of Biggs' snout like only Kurogane could do—and Kurogane nodded slowly.
Fucking perfect.
"You showed up soaking wet in the middle of the night to see if we were ok because you had a nightmare we were in a car crash." That wiped the smile off of Blondie's face almost as though someone had slapped him.
"Fuck me…" Biggs was not excited about the lack of pets as Fai scrubbed at his face with both hands as the cop's words sunk in. "Tell me you're joking, please…" Blondie splayed the fingers on one hand and peeked at Kurogane through them with a single blue eye.
Kurogane's only answer was to continue his hard stare—and Fai cursed again.
Biggs really didn't like getting scooted off his blond and chuffed and tried to jump up on the older man. Kurogane gave him a stern correction as Fai was knocked back down onto the couch—and his pooch was at his side.
It had been good thinking, too, because Fai getting worked up about—well Kurogane hadn't figured out what had set him off yet—only fueled the K9's overly excited state.
"Oh my god…" Fai whispered under his breath as he looked around frantically for something—patting the cushions—and when he didn't find what he was looking for he got to his feet his feet and heading back down the hall.
Biggs got some more reluctant back yard time so Kurogane could find out what the sudden panic was about—snagging the phone off the counter—assuming that that was probably the issue. The younger man just leaned against the door jam and watched the blond for a moment.
Fai didn't seem to notice him—and Kurogane got a better look at him with the closer proximity. Blondie's skin was translucently pale and the dark circles under his eyes had only gotten worse…
Worryingly enough, the idiot looked like he might be coming down with something. Being that pale was enough to make you wonder if he was feeling alright—but Kurogane could see his hands shaking from here as he looked around in the blankets—and there was a thin sheen of sweat covering his entire body…
Whipping around so fast he had to sit down—Fai finally started explaining what was with the impromptu scavenger hunt with a frantic plea. "I need my phone. I need to be home before morning, or my father is going to—"
Kurogane held the damn thing out and Fai snatching it like his life depended on it. All he needed to hear was that Fai needed to get in touch with his pops. He wanted his answers—he was pissed—but the cop wasn't an asshole.
The noise that Blondie let out when he set his eyes on the time was a mix between pathetic and chilling—Fai just stared at the screen until it auto powered off—then sat down on the mattress like he had just gotten terrible news.
"What the fuck is wrong?" he hadn't even unlocked the damn thing to see what any of that beeping was about. Kurogane didn't understand what the hell had just happened.
"I missed it…" Fai looked absolutely broken as he made eye contact with Kurogane. "I—I missed it…."