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Author's Note: Everyone knows how Vader reacted to seeing Obi-Wan again years later, but I always wondered what if it was right after. I don't know where we got this idea from, but just as a warning it's... dark. Which is probably expected given the timing. The universe is going to have a happy ending eventually, but the end of this one-shot does not. :)
~ Tirana Sorki
One moment Obi-Wan was at his new hut on Tatooine – it's been a few weeks since everything fell apart – and the next he's... Where is he? How did he suddenly get 'here', wherever the here is? And on second thought, why does it look so much like that room on Padme's ship he was hiding in on the way to Mustafar?
The Force had felt out of balance only moments ago, and now it feels... different. It still feels extremely turbulent, and he doesn't know why, but seeing as it appears he just got transported somewhere else entirely, he supposes that makes sense. What. Just. Happened?!
The door suddenly opens with a very loud hiss, revealing a very, very angry Senator Amidala.
Wait – wait – She died! He was right there, and – Unless, he's out of his mind and is reliving the past. He doesn't have the time to ponder it though, because right now, he needs to deal with the very mad Senator.
"Padme –"
He doesn't have a chance to get past that, because she promptly slaps him.
"... okay, I deserved that," he concedes grudgingly, "But how did you even know I was here?"
She glares at him. "Yes, you did," she snaps, "You killed my husband!"
... what? Oh, no. This cannot possibly be happening. Did she, from the future, end up back here too? Wherever here is, because it half seems like they're in the past, but that's completely impossible. "I –"
"Did you have any idea what would happen when you came?" she yells, "Because of you, he thought I betrayed him! I could've convinced him to come with me. I know I could have! There's still good in him."
He's mind-blown, and he can only reach one possible conclusion: that she also knows the future. Assuming this isn't nothing more than a nightmare. His mind is frantically whirling with all the implications of it, so he hardly has time to think about her words. "He is not Anakin anymore," Obi-Wan retaliates, remembering Yoda's words. The boy he raised is gone. He is. He must be, because the man he fought on Mustafar was nothing like Anakin ever was, even in his darkest moments. "Anakin is gone. He was consumed by the Dark Side. You don't know what that does to a person."
"How can you say that?" she demands, on the verge of tears. "You raised him. You're his father!"
What –
"I was his master," he corrects, "And he turned his back on everything I taught him. He destroyed the Jedi. He nearly killed you." The images swim before his eyes again, of the bodies covering the Temple floor, and later, what he saw in the recordings. He doesn't understand this, how Anakin could have done that. Yoda has to be right, because how could Anakin ever do that?
"I haven't forgotten," she retorts, voice shaking, "But it wouldn't have happened if you hadn't snuck onto my ship."
Which reminds him again that they both seem to be back in the past or something, and that means that Anakin – no, Vader – is likely still out there.
"You didn't need to kill him!" she repeats. "You – I could have talked to him. He would have listened! I know he would have!"
"He nearly killed me," Obi-Wan retorts coldly, despite the pain lancing through his heart. "He was long past the point of listening."
"You were trying to kill him," she snaps, "Did you even try talking to him?"
"Yes." It's true. He did. "He wouldn't listen."
Padme turns away, her anger and pain still clearly written on her face. "I'm going to find him, and this time, stay inside!"
What? "I can't do that," Obi-Wan retorts, "He's dangerous and completely unhinged –"
"When you showed up!"
"– and he could hurt you again."
"If you do exactly what you did last time, then, of course!" she snaps.
"I cannot let you go out there alone," he replies firmly. Even if the thought of facing Vader again, so soon after everything that happened on Mustafar is... He's not ready for that. (Doesn't think he could stand to watch events play out almost exactly as they did only weeks ago, again.)
Not that it matters. He's back here again somehow, and he has to deal with Vader.
"Then we're going out together," she decides, glaring, "And don't start needlessly antagonizing him. I'm going to try reasoning with him."
"Don't expect it to work," he warns. Obviously, she won't change her mind, but he warned her.
"That's what I mean," she snaps, spinning on her heel and stalking for the ramp.
The landing platform outside looks exactly the same as when he last saw it, and he can far too distinctly feel the oppressive heat of the planet as soon as they step out of the ship. It's making him think more and more that somehow, this is real, though he still doesn't understand how that's possible.
There's no sign of Vader outside, and... Obi-Wan can't feel him clearly in the Force. He must be shielding heavily, unlike before, and the darkness on the planet makes it more difficult to locate him. Artoo beeps from across the platform, and Padme goes over to him. The two have a quick exchange that he doesn't pay attention to before Padme heads towards a nearby structure.
They find Vader outside, on the balcony overlooking the lava river below. He's sitting up against the wall behind him, arms crossed, his hood pulled over his head. Obi-Wan could almost have sworn he flinches when they approach.
"Stay back," Padme warns sharply before approaching. Vader doesn't move, or so much as indicate he noticed them. "Ani?"
Vader twitches ever so slightly but doesn't respond.
"Ani?" she asks again, stepping a little closer.
Did he... time travel or whatever, too? Obi-Wan can't help but wonder for a moment, because he seriously doubts this was the state Padme found him in before.
"Stay away from me," he snarls suddenly.
She falters, and Obi-Wan thinks he sees a hint of uncertainty flicker across her face for the first time. "Did you see it too?" she asks finally.
"Saw?" he echoes, confused.
"I saw... or lived the future," Padme replies slowly, "I don't know how we're all back here again."
"No," he replies dully, shaking his head. "It's a lie, an illusion. It's –" Fear flares through him, icy and burning at once, whipping violently through the Force around him. "No," he repeats, this time more desperate and panicked than the first. "I don't want to see this again, I can't –"
"See what?" Obi-Wan asks, even if he'd much rather run the Sith through with his lightsaber than anything else. (He doesn't think he can bear to see Anakin die again, even if this is only someone who looks like him.)
He lets out a wordless cry, pressing closer to the wall behind him.
"Quiet. You're scaring him," Padme snaps, shooting a glare at Obi-Wan, even if she looks on the verge of tears.
"No," Vader whispers again.
There's a brief, awkward pause of silence, and Obi-Wan suspects Padme has no idea what to say or do any more than he does himself. He... doesn't know what he expected to walk into, but Vader now is distinctly different from how Obi-Wan remembers him. He's not wildly lashing out at everything, a maelstrom of raw anger in the Force. He's as dark as ever, maybe more now, but it seems to have settled into fear and... something else Obi-Wan can't put a name to, rather than rage.
"He won't hurt you," Padme promises, giving Obi-Wan a pointed look.
He doesn't reply verbally, though personally, he has his doubts about that. It got that far before, and Obi-Wan doesn't have much hope it won't now.
"Stop lying to me," Vader replies, bitterly. "I will not – I won't fall for it again."
"I didn't know he came," she says, quietly. She's crying now. (Somehow, Obi-Wan doesn't think she's the only one, but he doesn't want to think about it) "He snuck onto my ship without my knowledge. I was trying to tell you, but..."
"Stop it," he snarls venomously before taking a few labored breaths. "I know what you're here for. I know –" A quiet whine escapes him, and he flinches again, pressing his left arm closer to him. Obi-Wan nearly winces. He knows what he's thinking about. "Don't..." He trails off and ducks his head, as if too ashamed to finish. "You're dead," he says finally. "You don't belong here!"
"I killed you," Obi-Wan points out, dryly.
Vader twitches, confusion radiating into the Force. He finally straightens the slightest bit. "No," he replies steely, "You killed Anakin Skywalker."
Does Vader see it that way too? That he's a different person then Anakin? Obi-Wan doesn't know what to think, how to feel. It's hard seeing Anakin – or more like someone who looks like him – as a Sith. He killed the Jedi, destroyed everything, and it's only been a few weeks, far from enough time for Obi-Wan to begin to work through his emotions about it. The Sith's attitude is... not what he was expecting, though. But if the last thing he remembers is dying, (especially like that) then... Obi-Wan doesn't want to think about it.
"You are Anakin," Padme frowns, voice pained.
"No," he retaliates, "Not anymore."
"What do you mean?" she objects.
Vader doesn't answer.
"Ani, I just want to talk," she pleads.
"Stop it!" Vader snaps suddenly, "You're not here! This isn't real."
"It appears we are all... back here from the future," Obi-Wan says cautiously. Voicing it out loud makes it sound so stupid he's really beginning to think that he's hallucinating. But he doesn't think his mind would... recreate something like this with the way Padme and Vader are both acting.
"I don't know how this happened, but does it matter?" Padme argues, "We – This doesn't have to end like it did before. You can come with me, before it's too late. We can... raise our children."
Obi-Wan decides to not comment that things are definitely not going to be that simple, and also, telling the Sith about the twins is far from the greatest of ideas.
Vader stills. "... children?"
"Twins," Padme explains, "Luke and Leia."
"No, stop lying to me!" he yells sharply, "You died, because of me. He told me."
What? Who's the 'he'? And Vader knew that she died? But that doesn't make sense, because didn't he die? "You survived?" Obi-Wan asks slowly, uncertainly. How – how even could he have survived? (In truth, he doesn't want to think about what it would be like, for Anakin – Vader to have been alive afterwards with injuries like that.)
He senses a flare of emotion in the Force, too many things for him to try sorting out, not that he would anyway. He's long become accustomed to blocking off the emotional storm that is Anakin Skywalker... and now, Darth Vader. "My master came, and he – he saved me."
His master. Yes, because that title now belongs to... Sidious. Somehow, that only serves to anger him further.
Padme looks between them, expression bordering on horrified. "What did you do?!" she demands, and Obi-Wan can't help but think the one thing he agrees with Vader on is that they'll never answer that question.
"Things... got out of hand," he answers in a way that answers absolutely nothing. She doesn't need to know anything more and Vader doesn't seem very inclined to respond.
Padme gives him a hard look, before looking back to Vader.
"So now you care," Vader bites back sharply, "Now you want to listen."
"I always listened," Padme argues, "You weren't listening to me."
Vader scoffs but doesn't respond otherwise. Obi-Wan feels his incredulousness in the Force though, and it angers him.
"Listen?" Obi-Wan snaps, "You never had anything for me to listen to. You had no reason for any of this!"
"So, you'll try to kill me again?" Vader yells back, "I don't know how I could have trusted you! I didn't want to think you would betray the Republic, but you did! I never would have expected you to – to –" He cuts himself off, choking over his words. "You said you loved me, but you didn't, you can't!"
The words shouldn't sting as much as they do, because this isn't Anakin. "You are the one who betrayed the Republic, and the Jedi. You betrayed everything we fought for."
Vader scoffs, turning away. He straightens a little, leaning back against the wall behind him. He doesn't seem to have any intention of standing up, which is... a little weird, but Obi-Wan doesn't bother to ponder it. This conversation is certainly not going anything like he was anticipating, and he finds himself uncertain of what to do or say next.
Familiar beeping catches Obi-Wan's attention, and he looks up to see Artoo rolling towards them. The droid rolls past him and Padme, stopping in front of Vader. It beeps again, and Obi-Wan has no idea what it's saying, but it actually seems to catch the Sith's attention.
"Artoo?" the Sith asks, seeming momentarily confused.
The droid beeps eagerly.
"Long story," he replies slowly, and somehow, the droid's presence seems to be doing wonders in calming him down. It's mind-blowing to Obi-Wan. Sith aren't supposed to be calm. They're wild and dangerous and deadly. They're evil.
Vader finally reaches up to lay a hand on the droid's dome in a very Anakin-like fashion, and it pulls at his heart. (He misses Anakin, and it's only been a few weeks. He misses him so badly; it's tearing him apart.) After another long pause of very, very awkward silence, he looks up. The fear – and anger – in his presence have dwindled, and now there's little more than a strange sense of exhausted acceptance, like he's too tired to keep moving. "What do you want with me?"
The question makes him still, because in truth, Obi-Wan doesn't know. He's supposed to kill him; he was sent here to, but he doesn't know if he can do it. Not even now.
"Come with me," Padme requests again, "We can raise our children."
"Absolutely not," he replies flatly. "I am not giving them a life like that. They deserve a life of peace."
"We can find somewhere to settle down where no one will find us."
"He'll find me. Wherever I go," Vader insists, "And I – the Empire is what we need. I've already done so much for it."
"What? You're planning to go back to him?" Obi-Wan asks, almost accusingly. That – he knows he can't let Vader do that. Apparently, he and Yoda had both failed before, and that means both Sith were left to control the galaxy.
"What choice do I have?" he retaliates. "My master saved me. He – he took care of me when no one else did. He stood by me when I was alone."
It stings, and it infuriates him that Anakin – no, it's Vader, and he needs to remember that – would say that. "We were always there," Obi-Wan snaps back icily. He's tired of being accused of imagined slights when the other won't even explain what he's talking about.
Vader jolts to his feet suddenly, his anger burning again. He's still leaning against the wall, like he doesn't trust himself to stand on his own. "Let it be known, Obi-Wan," he growls, "The one truth about Anakin Skywalker was that he was always alone. The one person who loved him died because of you."
There is a moment of absolute silence. Obi-Wan doesn't know what to say or how to react in the face of that accusation. He has no idea how to react, because... what? He has no idea who or what Vader is talking about, but he gets the feeling arguing would be a bad idea.
Artoo beeps as though gravely offended.
"No, I wasn't counting you."
Obi-Wan doesn't know what to do. He's never been in a situation like this before, and all things considered, last time it was... easy. He knew what his mission was, and he had every intent on carrying it out. He was angry, and he wanted to hurt the Sith, but now that Obi-Wan knows where it would lead... He doesn't know whether he could do that. Vader hasn't moved to start a fight, but he didn't last time, either. When Obi-Wan saw him Force-choking Padme, that was the one thing he knew was a sign that Anakin was gone forever. It had been easy to draw his lightsaber on him then, but now... he doesn't know what to do. Vader is – of course – not inclined to listen to reason. It's exactly as he warned Padme, but he doesn't think he can do what he needs to.
Padme looks stung. "I do love you, Ani. I always have."
"No," he says quietly, shaking his head.
She looks even more hurt at the denial, and Obi-Wan gets the serious feeling this conversation will only go in circles. They don't really have time for this either, because he doesn't know if Sidious is still going to come to Mustafar, and he doesn't want to wait around and find out. Enough has changed already, after all. For all he knows, they might not be the only ones back here in the past after having lived the future.
And... even if he can't bring himself to do what Yoda told him to (he can't), he also can't let Vader go back to Sidious.
"We should leave soon," Obi-Wan declares, "There is a chance Sidious will come."
"I can't leave."
"I'm not letting you go back to helping Sidious."
Vader narrows his eyes. "What?" he snaps, crossing his arms again. "You're going to try to kill me again? Is that it? What worse could you do that you haven't already?" He glares at them defiantly, though he really looks like he's trying not to cry. "I've seen this a dozen times, every time I close my eyes."
Something twists inside him. "So have I." He's seen many horrific scenes throughout the war and even those he fought before, but it was never Anakin.
The Sith glares, his fury violently crashing into the Force. "How?" he snarls, "It wasn't you who nearly died there! It wasn't you who – who can never be human again. The last person I touched in my life was you."
His words are as unsettling as his anger. Anakin is powerful, ridiculously so, and Vader shares that. He nearly killed Obi-Wan last time, and the Jedi Master has little doubt he'd succeed now if he tried. It would doom the galaxy forever, and the Sith must be stopped. And in reality... he has no idea what Vader's condition was. His words don't make sense, or maybe he's not reading them in the way they were meant. He doesn't want to think about it, because that will mean confronting everything that happened that day, and he's not ready.
Vader flinches, stepping back. "Why didn't you do it when you had the chance?"
The real answer is something he won't say. He couldn't do it, because... it was Anakin. His child. In truth, it had been a fight he hoped he wouldn't make it out of himself. He was a coward. He was too attached to Anakin to do what needed to be done. He'd told Master Yoda as much, too, but the Grandmaster still maintained Obi-Wan be the one to go, and... at least that way, both Jedi survived. Both of the only surviving Jedi, for all he knows.
"Padme died anyway," he continues. "Or was it – were you trying to hurt me?" There's something vulnerable in his voice that makes the guilt Obi-Wan is holding swell up.
"I –" How is he supposed to answer that? The simple, true answer is yes.
"Why did I die?" Padme asks, interrupting their conversation, likely saving Obi-Wan from having to answer.
"The droid claimed you lost the will to live –"
"What?!" She sounds offended. Obi-Wan would, too.
"And your body was shutting down for reasons they couldn't explain."
"Mine was, too," Vader says, distantly. "They had to –" He cuts himself off, as if the conversation suddenly caught up to him. "What?!"
Both pairs of eyes are turned on him, and Artoo's dome swivels towards him, beeping questioningly.
"I – my master said I killed you. How..."
What? "She didn't die on Mustafar," Obi-Wan replies, confused. How would Sidious know that already, anyway? It instantly sets off alarm bells in his mind, because it doesn't make sense. He'd chalked up Padme's death to being the amount of stress she was under – it makes sense. "She died afterwards. She had just enough time for us to save the twins."
Vader shakes his head, radiating a confusing swirl of guilt and confusion and pain. "But my master said..."
"Sith lie," Obi-Wan points out. "He deceived us all."
Vader's eyes snap to him. "I – I thought you did it because of that."
Obi-Wan decides to resolutely ignore that he's crying, because how in the galaxy do you deal with a crying Sith, anyway? He has no idea. He didn't even know that was possible.
"No," Vader whispers, shaking his head. He stumbles most ungracefully to his knees. "He wouldn't lie to me. He wouldn't."
Padme moves forwards again, slowly. "Ani," she says, quietly, "He destroyed the Republic."
"The Republic was destroyed a long time ago," Vader retaliates, "The Empire is all that can restore peace."
It angers him the same way it did before. Obi-Wan is about to protest but the Sith cuts him off again.
"What more do you want?" he asks, sounding more worn out than he ever has in his life. "You took everything from me. You never did anything but tell me how I'd never live up to your impossible expectations."
That is so completely untrue. "Have you already forgotten what I said before leaving for Utapau?" he retaliates, "Or did you not listen to that, either?" Okay, maybe he's being unnecessarily cruel, but no matter what happened before, it doesn't make him any less furious.
"All I ever did was listen to you! If I hadn't, maybe I would have found the truth long ago!"
"You didn't," he retorts, "We wouldn't be in this situation if you had."
"We'd be worse," Vader snaps, "I knew it was true when he told me, even if I didn't want to believe you would do that."
Obi-Wan considers arguing but opts against it. He won't listen anyway, but... it is true. The Jedi were considering removing Palpatine from office. They would have to take over the Senate – temporarily, of course – to ensure a transition of power. Except now the Jedi are gone. Everyone, except for him and Master Yoda.
"What?" Padme asks, confused. She didn't know...?
"We were considering removing Palpatine from office," Obi-Wan admits grudgingly, "We would have had to take control of the Senate to ensure a proper reelection."
"... oh." She frowns. "Legally that is treason, even if that doesn't condone the Empire or what happened."
"What else could we have done? He's a Sith!" It was... questionable, and Yoda for certain wasn't the most pleased with the idea, but they were running out of options.
She lets out a frustrated sigh. "I don't know, but it's too late now. The Senate supports him... for now."
Which is why Obi-Wan still thinks the only thing they can do is what he and Yoda had last time: disappear until the time is right to act. But having Vader here complicates things and he still doesn't know how to deal with it if the Sith refuses to come with them. And even if he did, then what?
"I don't understand why you would support this. The Empire," Padme says. She sounds confused and hurt more than anything, not confrontational.
"The Republic was failing. You know that," Vader snaps.
Anger floods him again, despite the guilt still gnawing at him. (He needs some time to think about all of this... even if he doesn't want to, doesn't want to start dwelling on all the things that Vader have said that sound so much like Anakin.) "So, you think an Empire led by a Sith is going to be better?" Obi-Wan snaps, "An empire built on the murder of thousands of innocent people?" And he knows the Sith Master isn't going to stop with the Jedi, either. For a mastermind plan like this, he obviously wants complete control of the galaxy. "The Jedi were your family."
"The only family I had was my mother, who I lost because of you," Vader growls, furiously. His anger is almost like a living thing, strong enough to make Obi-Wan take a step back. "My wife betrayed me and my – my child left me, all because of you and your Order!"
Oddly enough, it's Artoo who interrupts the conversation again. Whatever he was asking, Vader doesn't seem to like much, but he gives in, surprisingly.
"I did what I had to," he says, "Like we always have. I answer to my superiors, like you do. When the Jedi committed treason, I chose to stand with the Republic and the Chancellor."
"You killed them," Obi-Wan accuses.
"As if you weren't willing to kill Ahsoka, knowing she was innocent."
He has a point. Maybe. But Obi-Wan is too angry to care. He's saying it as if what he did was good, as if he did nothing wrong by murdering so many.
"I did what I had to," Vader repeats, like he's trying to convince himself of it, and Obi-Wan wonders if he truly believes that. "I had a choice, and I chose to live, to help my family."
"How," Obi-Wan asks dryly, seriously starting to question the Sith's sanity, "Was that supposed to help?"
Vader glares at him again. "My master promised me I could save Padme with the Dark Side."
"Anakin, we talked about this," she argues, before Obi-Wan can demand what in the world he's talking about, "I'll be fine."
"No," he retorts, sharply. "That was not your choice to make. I failed my mother, I failed Ahsoka. I wouldn't again." Something pained floods his expression. "But I did." His gaze turns back to Obi-Wan. "You should've finished it," he continues, "But you wouldn't do that, would you? Because I deserved it?"
Something inside him twists. Vader looks... strangely vulnerable, and it's jarring to see. "No, I wouldn't," he admits quietly, "I was going to, but I couldn't do it."
"So instead, you took off like a coward and left – I could have begged for death, had I been able to get the words out," he continues, shuddering, "But I survived, and I..." He closes his eyes briefly as if trying to regather himself. "I tried to kill my master, but I couldn't do it."
"Couldn't or wouldn't?" Obi-Wan asks, trying to ignore the guilt attempting to swallow him whole. He doesn't want to think about what happened. It's too soon, too fresh. He's not ready to confront it yet.
"You know how well metal attracts lightning," is all Vader says in response, which answers nothing and everything. Artoo beeps mournfully, bumping into his leg in what Obi-Wan assumes is supposed to be a comforting gesture. He doesn't know; he's never paid close attention to droids. "And then I'll wake up and this will be gone."
... oh. He still thinks this is a dream, apparently.
"We're here, Ani," Padme promises, stepping forwards and slowly reaching up to touch his arm.
He gasps quietly, taking her hand in his. "I killed you," he protests, seeming torn between pulling away and moving closer.
Obi-Wan is hit by the sudden feeling that he's intruding on something private, probably because he is. This is not a conversation he should be intruding on, and he feels decidedly awkward, but he did demand on coming.
"I've seen this before," Vader states with an underlying note of disbelief. "It's not real; it can't be. I'm only seeing this because I want to."
"What else have you seen?" Padme asks. Obi-Wan knows what she's doing, or at least he thinks he does. It's the best way to gauge Vader's mental state, which... from what he can tell thus far, is very unstable. (Not as if anyone wouldn't be unstable after that. Obi-Wan is amazed Padme is taking this as well as she is.)
Vader pulls back from her, looking to Obi-Wan briefly before turning away. "The only thing I've ever wanted." He hesitates, like there's something more he wants to say, but feels decidedly nervous. It stings, because he remembers Anakin used to be like this. "Finish it," he asks, quietly, slowly moving towards Obi-Wan, "If this is real."
Obi-Wan stills. What? He has no idea if Vader means it or not. It's hard to tell, because Sith excel at deceit. He doesn't know whether this is another case of it now. He doesn't know if this is a trick, or... Obi-Wan eyes him doubtfully, warily, but Vader doesn't move to fight. He looks completely... submissive right now, a look he's often seen on Anakin. Whatever fight left in him seems to be entirely gone now.
And... Obi-Wan doesn't know what to do. He should do it, he knows. To make up for last time if nothing else, but the thought of seeing Anakin dead is...
He senses the fear hovering heavily in the Force. He can see it burning in Vader's eyes, the strange sense of raw, blinding panic he had when Obi-Wan first came, except now it feels deeper, more personal. He's shaking even if he's trying to hide it. Obi-Wan has never been good at emotions, and he often has no idea how to handle them or know when he needs to. He often doesn't know when or if people need his help, but now... he wonders. But no, this is the Sith who destroyed the Jedi. Obi-Wan owes him nothing.
"Give me your lightsaber," he demands, finally.
"You expect me to leave myself completely defenseless?"
"If you really aren't planning to fight, why would you need it?" He can't trust that the Sith is being legitimate.
"Do you think I'm stupid enough to make the same mistake twice?" Vader spits back, "You'll do it either way."
He should do it. He knows that. But... even if Padme wasn't standing right here, he also knows that he... can't, which leaves him completely uncertain how to handle the situation. It's not an easy choice. Just this once, he's not sure where the line between right and wrong is. He can't kill Vader, but somehow, even now, the urge to hurt him hasn't disappeared.
Then he remembers the fearful look on Vader's face, and he wonders. It was too much last time.
"No," Obi-Wan replies finally, "I won't."
The Sith looks doubtful. "How can I know you won't stab me in the back the moment I look away?"
"If you're dreaming," he says, finally, "Would it matter?"
Vader steps back, looking away again. "This is real, isn't it?" he asks, quietly.
"I don't know how, but it is."
The lighting is dim, but not too dim to see how the Sith visibly pales.
"We should at least go somewhere safter," Padme interjects, "We can go back to the ship."
"You expect me to allow myself to be in a closed space with him?" Vader demands.
"I thought you said it didn't matter," Obi-Wan points out.
Vader flinches at the sound of his voice. "How could you?" he asks, and there's nothing but an honest betrayal in his voice, "You were supposed to be good."
"So were you," Obi-Wan says, because he has no idea what else to say. What could he? Obi-Wan has never faced anything of this nature before; he doesn't know how to act.
"I had to make a choice."
"And so, you chose the Sith's side," Obi-Wan says flatly. That's what he really can't understand, why Anakin – no, Vader – would do that. "Why?" He'd said something about saving Padme but that doesn't make sense. What would she need to be 'saved' from?
"He was having nightmares of me dying in childbirth," Padme frowns, turning to eye Vader for a moment, "And Palpatine said he could... help you?"
He nods wordlessly.
Besides everything going on with the Republic, he Fell because he thought it would help him save Padme's life? After the visions of his mother, Obi-Wan suppose he can understand why he would've been afraid enough about it happening... maybe. He's never been one to worry about the future or visions or prophecies, until he finally accepted Anakin may truly be the Chosen One. Qui-Gon had told him, but he never truly... accepted it, until Mortis. Obi-Wan doesn't know what he was expecting to hear about why Vader did what he did, but this... wasn't it.
Regardless, it doesn't justify what he did. "That doesn't justify it. That doesn't make it right."
"I know."
There's another awkward pause of silence. Obi-Wan finds himself wondering again if they should stay here, if Master Yoda is fighting Sidious already or not. He wonders, briefly, if they would have been able to defeat the Sith Master had they attacked him together. He doesn't know, but he's fairly certain it's too late for him to go there and try to help now. It... might be worth it, though. He's not sure.
"He's been manipulating you," Padme asserts.
Vader doesn't respond.
"But it's not too late. We can still go into hiding," she insists again.
"I already told you I won't abandon the galaxy."
Obi-Wan isn't quite sure what stops him from making a biting comment about how he already did that when he joined the Sith and helped him in forming an Empire. "You already tried to kill Sidious before, you said," Obi-Wan replies, "Why would you go back to him, especially if he remembers also?"
"What else would I do?" he asks, almost helplessly.
"We can figure it out together," Padme promises.
"How do I know you won't die?"
"We don't know why she died," Obi-Wan objects, "The droids said she lost the will to live –"
"That is insulting!" Padme says flatly.
"– but I don't believe that," he continues. "It was definitely not from childbirth. We barely had time to save them before she died."
Vader seems to be considering their words, though he doesn't speak.
"I'm not going to die, Ani," Padme repeats, "But we really should leave. It's not safe to keep staying here."
"I – I can't."
"If you want to kill Sidious, we may still have time," Obi-Wan declares, "If we head back to Coruscant..."
"He's too powerful!" Vader snaps.
"You said you failed to kill him before," Obi-Wan says, "How long... after was it?"
"Right after," he answers, distantly. "It – I lashed out. I wanted to hurt him for lying to me but... it doesn't matter. I can't do it."
"Why?" Padme asks, "What happened? You said before that you could kill him."
"I was arrogant," he admits, "I didn't know what I was up against. The Dark Side is blinding. I thought I could do more than I could, but I..."
"I don't understand. What changed?"
Vader looks down. Obi-Wan doesn't think he'll answer, but he does. "The man I called my father nearly killed me. I have nothing except my master now."
"You have us," she begins.
"I didn't... just stab him," Obi-Wan says, because he can't ignore the guilt twisting inside him anymore. "It was... much more drawn-out." He feels Padme looking at him, but he resolutely refuses to meet her gaze. "I... cannot blame him for not trusting me."
"I'd kill you if I could," Vader supplies, as if that's supposed to make anyone feel better about it.
"I did warn you," Obi-Wan retorts.
"You goaded me," he corrects, "After trying to stab me in the back in the first place." Vader glances briefly at him, flinching again. "I never trusted you, but I –" He chokes over his words and cuts himself off, but Obi-Wan has a fairly good idea what he's about to say, and he has no idea how to react to it.
Denial is first – it always is, because it's the easiest. "If you did, you wouldn't have done any of this," Obi-Wan retorts icily. He was expecting some sort of verbal reaction, but instead, Vader flings out a hand almost wildly and throws him backwards with the Force. It was so unexpected. The Sith has been so... passive almost the entire time, it slipped Obi-Wan's mind how aggressive he can be if challenged, which apparently is now.
He slams against the railing over the area and stands up again, his anger instantly building. When he looks up, Vader is... gone. He seems to be heading back to the ships, and Padme is following, trying to calm him down. She doesn't seem to be succeeding. Artoo whistles something that sounded very rude – he's so glad he can't understand the droid – before rolling off after the others.
Obi-Wan follows. His anger is still simmering, but he stops a distance away when he arrives back on the landing platform. Vader is sitting on the wing of his fighter – it's... the same place where Anakin used to sit, all the time, and for a moment, he could almost have forgotten. Padme is standing next to him, holding his hand, talking quietly. He can't hear what she's saying and doesn't try to.
He waits a distance away, content to let himself watch for now. Vader's eyes are blue. It's unnerving to see, because he had no idea that was possible, especially for how dark he is right now. But apparently, he's...
(He can see it now; there's far more of Anakin in the Sith than Obi-Wan thought, and it's... hard to see, to say the least.)
"It's okay, just breathe," he hears Padme saying. "I won't let him hurt you."
Vader doesn't seem very convinced, and...
Force, this would be so much easier to handle if Vader was acting the way he had been when Obi-Wan first came to Mustafar, if he was still angry, instead of... scared. He hasn't had time to process everything that happened himself, but he won't be getting any to think about it right now.
He has no idea what to do, but it's probably best to let Padme handle this. Going any closer or saying anything to the Sith will likely only worsen the situation.
"It will be alright," she promises, again. He can't hear what else she says, but Vader seems to maybe be calming down a little, because he finally stands up, though he makes no move beyond that.
Obi-Wan takes that as his cue to move a little closer. "Are we leaving?" he asks. He has no idea if Sidious is still coming to Mustafar, but they've been here for long enough already.
Vader glances sideways at Padme, but doesn't respond or move.
"You don't have to stay on the same part of the ship," she points out.
"I can't come with you," he repeats, again. "I – my master is expecting me, and I can't leave. I did this, and I deserve to stay there."
"Anakin," he cuts in, hopefully effectively cutting off any further protests, "Come with us. I won't argue this, but I am not leaving you there." It would be stupid of him to. It would leave Sidious with a powerful ally, one that can cause massive damage. Not to mention Vader – Anakin – knows of the twins now, and it would be far, far too dangerous for Sidious to get this knowledge. "If we cannot defeat Sidious now, we must ensure he not find your children."
Vader's eyes fade to gold again. "And if I won't come willingly?"
"I will do what I must to stop you." He means it, and he knows Vader knows it, too. He was expecting there to be an argument, but he gives in without a fight, slowly moving towards the starship.
**w**
Honestly, being with Obi-Wan couldn't be much worse than Sidious. It's the only reason Vader agreed in the first place, but he regrets it almost immediately, even now that he's alone in the corner of one of the many rooms on the ship.
He doesn't understand how any of this happens, how he's really here. Assuming it's real. It seems like it has to be, though, because none of his nightmares about Mustafar in the past have been anything like this. They weren't so vivid, so real. And he might've imagined the sensations of being touched again, but it wasn't like this, either.
It feels like he's permanently broken or messed up or something, because the very sight or mention of Obi-Wan is enough to send him back into memories. He can still acutely feel the burning, searing agony of his lightsaber and everything that followed. He wants to be as far away from his former master as possible, and that prevails over his overwhelming urge to hurt him in return for his betrayal.
In the end, Vader knows he deserved no less. He might not be in constant pain anymore, but the memory of it is haunting him, and it still feels like he's trapped in the past, trapped with the searing agony of everything that happened that day. It feels much too real, how he can still feel his master's presence slipping through his mind. His master had said there was more to learning the way of the Sith then embracing the Dark Side, and...
Obi-Wan may have used everything he knew about Anakin against him, but Sidious did the same, still will do the same, and Vader isn't foolish enough not to understand the risks of his master finding his children.
Obi-Wan might've taken his body and heart, but Sidious took his mind and soul. There is nothing left of him anymore. Anakin Skywalker is gone. It doesn't matter, or it shouldn't, because no one truly cared for him, anyway. It was only a perfect, nonexistent form of him that they wanted.
Vader doesn't know what will happen now. Padme wants him to stay with her, and... He doesn't have anywhere else to go. He can't – won't – go back to Sidious now.
But he can't imagine Obi-Wanwill let him be around her alone, which means... Vader will have to put up with him for the indefinite future. The very thought sends another pang of fear, and a fresh wave of betrayal running through him.
It makes him more worn out than he already is – and he is. By the Force, he thinks he could sleep for the rest of his life without waking, and not because Obi-Wan killed him in his sleep – because he can't handle that, having conversations like this on a regular basis. He wants this – everything – to stop.
He doesn't hold back a flinch when he senses Obi-Wan's presence in the doorway again. The child in him reacts instinctively, demanding that he put as much space between them as possible and to beg for forgiveness, to maybe spare him the pain he knows will come. It's different with Sidious, because that he knows he trapped himself into it; he deserves no less than that. With Obi-Wan it's... different. He deserves this, too, but it's not... he can't handle it. He can't.
He deserves to die, and he knows it. He wishes he would. He imagines, briefly, what it would feel like for a lightsaber to run through his chest, wonders if it would hurt worse than everything else that happened, wonders if he still has a heart within him, even now. It's just a dream though, A fantasy. Maybe it's more fitting for him to be trapped here, alive, rather than escape to the solace and nothingness of death
Fear claws its way into his throat. He wants to speak but he can't. He can't get the words out. It feels like he's trapped, frozen in place. He's said it so many times – I'm sorry, Master – the words he hates so much that always gave Obi-Wan dominance. It was easier that way, to let others tell him what to do, because he never knew how or where to start.
He feels so lost and alone, and he wishes he could go back, undo what he did, but he can't. It's in the past now. There is no going back. There is no way back, and he doesn't know if he wants it anyway, to submit himself to Obi-Wan and the Jedi again, not when he knows they're wrong.
Vader knows what he should do. He knows what he always does, and it usually worked when he was a Jedi – but it's inadequate now. He doesn't want to do it either. Obi-Wan was the one who nearly killed him. There has never been anyone Vader wants to hurt more than him, even if... a part of him still craves for acceptance and he loathes that even more.
He really, really wants someone to hold him, but he doesn't deserve it, and there's no one...
"Obi-Wan," he breathes finally, blinking back the tears burning his eyes. It's in vain, though. His eyes hurt but he can't stop crying, anyway. The mere name is enough to cut him to the core. So many emotions come with it, and those alone are too much to handle. "I – I'm sorry, I –" He cuts himself off. Why is he bothering? Obi-Wan took so much from him already, and if he's not satisfied by it yet, he never will be.
"I can't forgive you," he replies, evenly.
Another burning wave of pain and anger and hate surges through him. He doesn't argue; doesn't dare to, but that doesn't stop it. And, honestly, what should he apologize for? Not being a perfect... pet?
"And I don't expect you to forgive me either, at least not now."
At least Obi-Wan is apparently reasonable enough to understand that much. Vader doesn't know how he ever could forgive him for what he did. He struggled with letting go even as a Jedi, and... he's a Sith now. Nothing will or can change that.
He doesn't know how to move forwards from here, especially when he'll likely have to deal with Obi-Wan every single day for... a long time. Death would be so much easier than this, but... maybe he's not worthy of it for that reason. Maybe he deserves it, to be forced to keep living like this.
It doesn't matter either way, though, because there's no way out.
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