CHAPTER NINETEEN
The next week and a half was a little hard on Jane. Whenever she tried to pack, Sarah was hovering over her; she just always seemed to be there. If Jane were being honest, what she wanted was just a little alone time. Ultimately, she was finally able to pack her suitcase without hindrance.
Besides that, on the last week, her mother fell into one of her episodes which was a big problem for Jane for two reasons: 1) Her mother had gone since a little before Easter without an episode, and Jane had foolishly thought that her mum was getting better; and 2) Jane's father had just left for a business trip, and she had no one else to take her to King's Cross. So, very early on September first, Jane marched into her parents' room. Her mum had virtually not moved in almost two days. It was disappointing and disheartening on a level that Jane could not describe to see her mother like that.
"Mum," Jane said, shaking her sleeping mother a bit.
"Hmm?" her mother said but did not make to move or even open her eyes.
"Mum, you've got to get up," Jane begged.
No response. Jane shook her a bit harder.
"Mum, you have got to get up! You've got to take me to the station, and it's a two-hour drive!" she said loudly, trying to awaken her mother. She couldn't possibly be doing this to her, not now, not today.
"Have your father take you," she said as she rolled over to the other side of the bed. Jane rolled her eyes and moved around to the other side of the bed as well.
"Dad's on business, remember? He won't be back till Sunday. I need you to get up," she continued to plead.
"Can't Sarah's mum take you?" her mother asked.
Jane wanted to scream or cry or something to get her mum to realise what she'd just said.
"Mum, she can't take me! I think she might have a heart attack if she saw me walk through a wall! Plus, she's at work anyway."
No response.
Jane's breathing got a bit out of sorts. She could feel feel anxiety filling her up, eating away at her insides. What if they were late and the train left her and they refused to let her come back for her second year? She'd be forced to go to Test Valley, only it'd be worse than that because she'd be a year behind her classmates, and she'd be stuck in there Stockbridge all because her mother refused to take her to London.
"Get up!" she said firmly, shaking her a little harder.
Her mum didn't even move. How like a child she could be sometimes; it wasn't fair to Jane. She could feel anger pouring into her. How many times was her mother offered help, and how many times had she refused it? Would she rather her life consist of this? Pathetic. Jane snapped. She yanked the covers off of her mother and pushed her as hard as she could.
"GET UP!"
Jane's mother shot out of bed with a fire in her eyes that Jane had never seen before. It scared her for a moment; this was not her mother. Then again, Jane had never yelled at her mother before, no matter how many times the woman had disappointed her. It almost felt—good.
"Don't you ever yell at me or push me like that again; do you understand?"
"I need you. To take me. To the station," Jane seethed, matching her mother's anger level.
"I heard you the first time!"
Then, why didn't you get up?! Jane thought.
"Go make sure you've got all your stuff packed. I need to get ready. I don't want to look at you until it's time to leave," her mother said, walking to the bathroom.
"Fine," Jane said in a contemptuous voice as she stormed off to her room.
Jane fell onto her bed and buried her face in her pillow. She waited until she could hear the water running from the shower to scream. It came out weak, muffled by the pillow. Her mother could be infuriating at times like this, but they had never actually had a row like that.
But in the moments after she had pushed and screamed at her mother, and even now still, there was an adrenaline rush that shot through Jane's body. It was something she had never felt before. She felt brave and strong, like she could do anything. Jane wasn't an especially rebellious child, and she had never planned on being, but she imagined that this was what it felt like. All those times that Sirius had described the screaming matches with his parents, Jane now understood why he always smiled that devilish smile. It felt good. Liberating. She felt free.
Almost the entire ride to London was in silence. Jane only spoke when spoken to, and even then, her responses were curt. She justified this in her mind by saying that she was still mad at her mother for that morning's row, but that wasn't the whole truth. Secretly, somewhere deep inside of Jane, she hoped that her mother would become frustrated with her again; scream at her, so that she could scream back. Jane wanted to feel that rush again; though, she felt guilty for thinking it.
On the platform, however, Jane managed to mumble a farewell to her mother, even saying "love you." After all, she was still Jane's mother, and Jane did still love her no matter how much the woman annoyed her sometimes.
As Jane lugged her suitcase and new broomstick over to the train, she heard a flustered yell from somewhere in the distance. And while she didn't recognise the voice, she could easily guess who it belonged to.
"Sirius Black! How dare you walk away from me? Come back here this instant!"
"I'm only helping a friend," Sirius called to his mother, and Jane could hear the laughter in his voice. He was already by Jane's side with his own suitcase and matching broomstick. He clasp his arm around her shoulders and smiled back at his mother, who looked set to kill.
"I told you about Janie, didn't I?" he called to her.
You could tell that he had most certainly told his mum all about Jane because as soon as he said Jane's name, Mrs. Black's nostrils flared, and her face turned blood red. That moment was one of the only moments in Jane's life that she thought that maybe there was something different about "pure-blood" because she had never seen anyone with regular blood have their face turn that colour red before.
Jane broke eye contact with Mrs. Black, and though Jane couldn't see his face, she could just feel Sirius grinning at his mother. Luckily, no one made a scene, and the two friends helped each other with their luggage.
"Why'd you do that?" Jane asked, annoyed with him already. Sirius let out a laugh. "It's not funny! She looked about ready to murder me!"
"Oh, relax, Janie, will ya? She wouldn't do anything to you; not in public at least," he said as they found an empty compartment. Jane gave him an incredulous stare, not comforted by his words in the slightest. "Besides, she'd kill me before she'd kill you," he assured.
The devilish smile that he had on his face reminded Jane about the spat with her mother that morning and the adrenaline rush. She wanted to tell him about it, but by doing so, she'd have to tell him about her mother, and that's not something she told anybody, not even Remus or Lily. So, she said nothing.
Suddenly, Jane noticed the shirt he had on. It was a Beatles shirt. She cocked an eyebrow.
"That's a Muggle band," she pointed out.
"Really? I hadn't noticed," Sirius remarked sarcastically. Jane rolled her eyes.
"You know, they broke up like two years ago," Jane said.
"Yeah, but that doesn't stop their records from being amazing," Sirius pointed out. Jane laughed.
"Bet your mum loves that shirt," Jane said.
"Yeah, and she loves all the posters of Muggle women and motorbikes that I've put in my room too," he said happily.
"Bet she'll tear them down while you're at school," Jane pointed out.
"Can't. Permanent Sticking Charm," Sirius said proudly, twirling his wand between his fingers.
"She's gonna be furious with you."
"That's the thing about her though, innit? She's always furious with me."
Jane smirked.
"I got loads of cool Muggle things over summer," he said. "Had to hide most of them from my family. Mum would chuck them out the window if she found them. Mostly records and stuff. Got a record player too. Now getting that in the house without her seeing was tough…"
After a while, Sirius finally asked Jane about her summer, and she dug through her suitcase for the small photo book that Sarah had put together for her before she left. Later, the others strolled in.
"What're you looking at?" James asked, sitting on the other side of Jane.
"Pictures," Jane answered. James looked at the pictures in the small book. His brow furrowed.
"What's wrong with them?" he asked. Jane gave him a puzzled look.
"Nothing," she insisted.
"But they aren't moving," he said.
"No," Jane agreed.
"Well, that's boring," he said, though he continued to look with them anyway.
"These are some pictures that Sarah took in Birmingham," Jane said, pointing to the first few pictures.
"Is that her?" Sirius asked, pointing to one of the pictures. Jane nodded.
"That's my house in the background of that one," Jane said when she flipped to the next page, "and that's my mum and dad."
"Who's that?" James asked, pointing to a different picture on the next page. Jane looked at it. It was a picture of Sean.
"That's Sean."
"I don't like him," James said. Jane rolled her eyes and continued to flip through the picture book with the boys huddled around her. And when they got to the school, and she walked up to the dorm, she repeated this with Lily and her other roommates before going to bed, happy to finally be back at Hogwarts.