CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

Jane was reluctant to leave the Potters'; she had loved it there. On the other hand, going to Hogwarts was always something to look forward to no matter what you were leaving behind, even if all the stressful exam reviews were about to start.

Jane didn't know how she was going to make it through exams this year. Gryffindor's last Quidditch match against Ravenclaw was in a month. How was she going to have time for studying and practice? Maybe she'd be a little bit more understanding if she actually got to play, but all she did at practice was fly around as an obstacle for the real players.

Jane sighed. It'd all be worth it next year when she made first line, which by now, she had grown confident in. With James as your coach, it was best to not be unconfident for he took it as a personal insult on his own abilities to coach. Not to mention, Sirius liked to pick out people's insecurities and use them against them (said people being mostly Jane). Sirius swore he only did this to make Jane a stronger person, which she had initially thought it was a load of crap, but it actually seemed to be working. Not that she didn't have insecurities anymore, she just was a lot more selective of the ones she deemed "important." But she wasn't about to thank Sirius for that.

Mrs. Potter had kind-heartedly parted with some of her own makeup and gave it to Jane for starting out, which Jane carried with her in a small handbag (also courtesy of James' mum).

Despite all the upcoming exam reviews and studying and Quidditch practice and makeup, Jane had one major concern that had been slowly eating at her conscience ever since they had arrived at the platform to go back to Hogwarts. That one little thing that was always bothering her thoughts of late. That one thing that she had learned to push expertly to the back of her mind when need be: Sarah.

Ever since Sarah's letter before the Easter holidays, Jane had not written. Now normally, this wouldn't have been that much of a big deal. Usually, Jane would just pick up a quill and start writing about how sorry she was that she had forgotten to write, but this time was different, and she knew it. Jane had completely ignored a plea from her friend begging her to come home, to not stay at school.

Please don't stay at school, Sarah had written in her last letter to Jane. I miss you too much…Please don't stay. I'm bored out of my mind here!

Jane still had it somewhere, tucked away in her suitcase with all the other letters. That familiar feeling of guilt was pouring inside of her again. She thought of how terrible Sarah's Easter holiday must have been. There really was nothing to do in Stockbridge, and Jane was really the only person, besides Sean, that Sarah had to hang out with and talk to. Jane had, no doubt, hurt Sarah's feelings, and she had no way to know if Sarah was mad or not.

Jane didn't know when to write or what to write about. Was she supposed to apologise? And then, was she supposed to apologise for not replying or not coming home? Or both? Jane just didn't know what to do, but she knew she was going to have to write eventually.

She was replacing Sarah; she had known it for some time now. But could she really help it? It wasn't her fault that she was a witch. It wasn't her fault that she hardly ever got to see Sarah anymore, save for this one incident. And it wasn't her fault that she would rather spend her time with her best friends than in Stockbridge with a girl that she had grown so far away from.

Then again, maybe it was somewhat her own fault. And that thought just confused Jane and made her angry, which is why she decided to push Sarah to the back of her thoughts once more while they rode back to Hogwarts.

After they arrived and had dinner, Jane and the boys went up to the common room to sit and talk for a while. Jane had went upstairs to retrieve the new scrapbook that Remus had gotten her for her birthday the previous month. She was still in the process of putting it all together. She came back downstairs with her hands full of pictures she had had developed and the scrapbook. She spread it all out on the floor in front of the couch and began to work on it as she listened to the boys' conversations, occasionally asking them for opinions on where certain things should go.

Jane looked through all the photos she had taken. She didn't think she'd ever get used to still photographs again after experiencing the moving ones; they were just so much better. While it was nice to see someone caught mid-laugh in a still photograph, it was even better to watch them as they laughed in a moving one.

Coincidentally, all the pictures that Jane had taken of Marlene had mysteriously vanished about two weeks ago, but not before she was able to give Alice a copy of the one she had asked for. Jane had given it to her one day at lunch, and Alice had laughed so hard that pumpkin juice had come out of her nose. Alice had then proceeded to show anyone that would look the photo of Marlene stumbling over her suitcase, which angered Marlene and resulted in the aforementioned disappearing photographs. Jane had a feeling that they were turned to ash by now, but she still smiled because Alice kept her copy hidden so that Marlene couldn't find it. Every now and then, Alice would pull it out of hiding to have a good laugh.

Jane smiled as she placed a picture of her and Remus carefully onto one of the pages. The picture was mostly of their faces—her arms could only stretch so far. She took notice in how sickly he had looked. There was a scratch on his face, which he had never mentioned the origin of, and his face just looked so pale, especially against Jane's dark hair. She sighed a little.

Poor Remus, Jane thought, he has the absolute worst immune system of anybody I've ever met.

Jane continued to work on the scrapbook until she noticed that Peter and Remus had already gone up to bed. She stretched and turned to look at James' wristwatch to see the time.

12:49? she thought. Two minutes ago, it was nine o'clock.

Jane gathered up her things and said goodnight to Sirius and James before heading up to her dorm. Everyone else was already asleep when she got there. She carefully placed her things on the trunk at the foot of her bed and changed into her night clothes.

She lay in her bed for a while, but she just couldn't go to sleep. Too many things were racing through her head. Quidditch practice. Studying. Sarah. Exams. Makeup. Aaron Ashby. Jane rolled back out of bed and walked over to the window. She opened it just a little and let the cool night air hit her face. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, letting it clear her mind. She sat down on the stone windowsill and just looked out into the darkness.

She'd have to write to Sarah tomorrow. She couldn't just keep ignoring her like she had been doing all of Easter break; it wasn't fair to Sarah. She'd think of something to write. She was clever enough to think up a reason for ignoring Sarah.

Jane sighed. Wishful thinking was all it had been when she thought she and Sarah would always be best friends.