Draco entered the room looking wary. Good, it was a good look on the boy. He was usually too fucking confident for his own good.
"You wanted to see me, Godfather?"
"Indeed I did. Sit."
Draco sat, noticing Hermione for the first time, a sneer forming on his face as he tried to mask his confusion.
"What's she doing here?"
"She asked to be allowed to observe." It was wrong to be enjoying this, he knew it was wrong. But he very rarely got to see his godson visibly discomfited and he was of the opinion that Draco could benefit from being startled out of his own surety every now and then.
"Observe? Observe what?" Ah there was a definite note of panic now. Good.
"Hermione will be visiting your home over the holidays at your mothers request. I thought it best to forewarn you."
"What? Why would she be visiting the Manor?" Draco was thoroughly confused now and he was thinking. Loudly. He almost snorted when he picked up his Godsons train of thought, wondering, apparently entirely seriously, if maybe this was all some sort of vivid nightmare.
"Because she is your father's cousin's daughter and your mother wishes to meet her."
It was like the boy had short circuited. He wasn't sure whether to be disappointed or relieved that Draco wasn't throwing a tantrum. Given the look on his daughter's face she was definitely leaning more towards disappointed.
"No she isn't. What sort of hallucination is this? Did you drug me? Did she drug you?"
He dropped his voice dangerously low, "Are you suggesting that a thirteen year old witch is capable of drugging me without my knowledge, Draco?"
"No….no, Godfather, of course not." Draco's eyes were wide as he watched his Godfather apparently having realised what he had said. Severus was fucking scary when he wanted to be.
"Good. We will be arriving at the manor sometime before Christmas. I do hope you'll behave."
"You're coming too?"
"Of course. Who else would escort my daughter?"
"Your….your daughter? Fuck is this a joke?" Draco's eyes were darting from Severus to Hermione desperately as if waiting on one of them to drop the punchline.
"Language Draco! Your mother would be appalled. Do I look like I am joking?"
"No, but even when you are, you don't. Was my pumpkin juice spiked? Is this all a hallucination? Fuck. I hope so. Although if its not Theo will be fucking thrilled. He has an odd soft spot for Gryffindors Mudblood. Hold on, what cousin?" he stopped mid ramble as his eyes found his Godfather who appeared to be shaking with rage. He really hoped this was a hallucination. It had to be surely? He couldn't be related to the bushy haired know-it-all. Although Severus was coming closer now. Fuck maybe it wasn't just a nightmare. That wasn't ideal. Shit.
Severus grasped Draco by the neck of his robes and pulled him from the seat until he was standing on tiptoe. "Elladora Fawley is Hermione's mother and your fathers cousin you impertinent little sod. And if I ever hear that word out your mouth in regards to my daughter again, Draco, I will scourgify it for you, are we clear?"
Draco was nodding, vigorously. That was a good sign. He should probably put him down now. It wouldn't do for someone to walk in and see him holding on to a student like that, even if that student was his exceedingly arrogant godson. He'd never lost control with him like that before. Was this part of being a parent? That instant need to defend? He didn't like it. He'd need to work on that.
He let him go.
"What in the name of Merlin does Theodore Nott have to do with anything?" he asked through gritted teeth once Draco was seated again.
"Ah. He just may have mentioned that he'd like to get to know her better but didn't fancy being murdered by his dad?"
"Don't you dare mention this to Theodore Nott, there will be no getting to know her better, she is off limits, are we clear?" he hissed at his Godson. Fuck there was that control issue again.
He heard a laugh behind him and whirled round.
"What?" he barked.
"It's just slightly surreal, " she said softly. "Draco Malfoy is my cousin of sorts and Professor Snape is threatening him to keep boys away from me." At that she gave in to the giggles, unfortunately Draco appeared to be of a similar mind and after gaping at her for a moment he joined her.
He didn't understand why it was funny. She was too young for boys, she was definitely too young for slytherin boys. Theo Nott would not be getting within six feet of his daughter. He'd never had any trouble with the boy, he seemed nice enough, even if his father was questionably sane. However he knew how teenage boys thought. He'd been one once. A long time ago. He knew what they got up to in the alcoves. No. He wasn't above cursing some jewellery for her to wear to protect her from the little pricks, Lucius would help him. He adored Ella. She wouldn't be allowed near boys until she was thirty. At the earliest.
The children appeared to be laughing harder at his expression. Really? Why the fuck was it funny?
Some little arsehole had fired a fucking firework into a cauldron. Bloody Gryffindor/Slytherin class. Why did Dumbledore insist on doing that to him? It was a particularly inventive and cruel form of torture. If he ever found what one of the little bastards had done it, he'd make sure they were expelled.
Draco's nose had been fucking hilarious though. He wondered whether you could take a picture inside a pensive. Lucius would have loved to have seen it. Maybe he should try. The threat of it might help keep his Godson in line. He was far too interested in bating Potter and he wasn't convinced it wasn't just so the other boy would pay him some attention. Should he warn Lucius about his son's potentially questionable taste in future partners? Probably not. Best to let him find that out on his own if it came to that, preferably when they were in different countries. Maybe he'd have grown out of it by the time Lucius had to know anything, moved on to someone more suitable. Lucius wouldn't care if Draco was gay but he'd be bloody furious if the boy attempted to bring home Harry bloody Potter. Although if he could persuade Draco and Hermione to become friends, maybe Lucius would have to accept Potter. That could be amusing. Actually, that meant he'd have to accept Potter and that sounded far less amusing. It was hard enough to adjust to the fact that his daughter was genuinely friends with the little sod.
Things were going missing from his stores. Ingredients that could be made into some questionable potions. Polyjuice seemed most likely, but who the fuck was brave enough to both steal from him and brew illegal polyjuice? Where the fuck were they brewing it? It didn't make sense.
He also wasn't sure when it started, or how it hadn't triggered his wards. There was one explanation, the wards were set with blood. But really, what the fuck would his daughter want with polyjuice. And she was a second year, surely she couldn't be that stupid.
Actually, now he thought about it, her first year had shown her to be precisely that stupid. Fuck where was she brewing it? Why was she brewing it?
Dear god he was going to have to actually speak to her about this wasn't he? How could he bring this up without sounding like an arse? She'd only just started speaking to him again.
He didn't really have time to think about it now, they were due to meet her parents in two hours and he needed to make a good impression. If he fucked this up he'd have no leverage to stop her murdering Draco. And he really, really needed that leverage. Cissa would not be pleased with him if he allowed his daughter to murder her son and she was more fucking terrifying thant the Dark Lord when she was angry. And Minerva had had to sign numerous forms to allow him to take her out of school on the weekend; she'd be annoyed if it was all for nothing. She'd ranted at him that the paperwork was ridiculous and he owed her for this. She wanted payment in expensive scotch apparently.
This was fucking awkward. The Doctors Granger were, as expected, not happy that their daughter had brought him into their home. They kept asking inane questions about the Wizarding world and made it sound like they all practised party tricks. How exactly was he supposed to answer whether or not he'd ever pulled a rabbit out of a hat without sarcasm? Still he didn't think that Hermione would appreciate the sarcasm so he probably shouldn't. Especially as it seemed like a genuine question. Apparently they were trying.
Which was good. Because he was too. Why was there so much floral in his daughter's home? He felt like a little black hole in an explosion of colour. Pastel colour. It made him uncomfortable.
He'd tried to smile, and they'd flinched at his teeth and began a very long conversation about invisible braces and whitening treatments. He wasn't sure but he had a feeling that he may have agreed. The male Dr Granger appeared to be arranging an appointment for the following week. Could he get out of that? Probably not. He probably needed to actually turn up or he'd make this even more awkward than it was.
He hoped the girl understood what he was doing for her. She appeared to be covering a smile, so apparently not. Ungrateful brat.
Draco and Hemione appeared to have come to some sort of truce. He wasn't sure how he felt about that. Had they spoken at school and managed to prevent anyone else seeing it? Surely if Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger were seen having a conversation it would be round the entire school? They were whispering, together. And there appeared to be some giggling. He wasn't sure he wanted to know. It was safer that way. Better to ignore it.
Lucius was speaking, fuck he had not been listening, too busy trying to work out what his daughter and her newly found cousin were giggling about. It appeared they had an unexpected amount in common. Which was disconcerting. He didn't want Draco corrupting his daughter with his attitude. She was going to be hard enough to parent, with her Gryffindorish heroics without Draco teaching her Slytherin cunning. The Slytherin tendency towards self preservation might be good though.
"Sorry, Lucius, I missed that?"
"I asked if you had any plans for the holidays, Hermione mentioned she was remaining at Hogwarts."
"No, although I appear to have an appointment with Dr Granger at some point. I'm not entirely sure what for."
Hermione glanced at him then, she appeared to be struggling not to laugh and now she was whispering with Draco again. Fabulous. Draco's eyes were wide and he appeared to be gaping. And now they were both fucking laughing. What was so damn funny?
"An appointment with Dr Granger? Whatever for?"
"Ah, something to do with my teeth? I don't know Lucius. There was a lengthy explanation and I zoned out; it seemed wisest to agree."
Now Lucius was laughing at him. Fucking wonderful. Maybe if he just closed his eyes to regain his composure, they'd all have stopped with whatever was apparently so damn funny.
"What are you getting the girl, Severus?" He wrenched his eyes back open at the sound of Narcissa's voice.
What was he getting her? For what? What was Cissa going on about. Shit , she was still speaking. Something about books? What? He really needed to pay better attention. This was turning into an unfortunate habit.
"Oh for Salazar's sake Severus! Surely you've thought of what you're getting your daughter for Christmas?"
Fuck. No. No he had not. And now Cissa was sighing at him. She appeared to be doing that a lot lately. He didn't like it.
"Do you have any ideas?"
"A book?" That was reasonably safe, wasn't it? She liked books. He could do that.
"For your daughter's first Christmas with you, you are getting her a book? Severus, do be serious!"
"She likes books!" That didn't sound defensive….nope not at all. Where had the children gone? They were there a moment ago, before he'd closed his eyes. He needed someone to take the focus off him. Now, preferably.
"I sent them to the library. And then I'm going to teach Hermione to manage her hair. Ella's was the same, if you remember. I still remember the charms. It'll be beautiful by the time we're done." Narcissa answered his unasked question, clearly noting his eyes darting about in concern. He was proving to be a terrible spy recently. He really did need to up his game.
"There is nothing wrong with her hair!" He was lying, of course, it was fucking atrocious. He wasn't sure the girl brushed it, it certainly didn't look like she did. He vaguely remembered Ella telling him that you shouldn't brush curls but really, how else did you persuade them not to look like a cloud on your head? Hermione's looked like they were trying to eat her. But odd hair was off putting for boys, wasn't it? Too intelligent, stubborn with atrocious hair. Teenage boys were shallow creatures. It would be in her best interests to keep the hair lest he have to murder one of the little cretins for showing an interest in her in a year or so.
"You cannot be serious, Severus, its fucking awful!"
He would never win this argument. Not against a scandalised Narcissa Black. She was going to teach his daughter beauty and grooming charms and there was nothing he could do about it. This wasn't what he'd signed up for. Not that he'd signed up for any of this. He was pretty scary though. Maybe a reminder to all those boys that he was her father would suffice. The one that lived in the same building as her. The other one, the one that didn't, pulled out teeth for living. He was sure Dr Granger could be persuaded to do that without anaesthetic in order to protect their daughter from hormonal boys.
Maybe he should start teaching her curses now? That way he and Dr Granger need only threaten those she was too stupid to realise were a bad idea. That sounded better. Empower Hermione to deal with those she wasn't interested in and then he and Dr Granger could swoop in to scare off those she was. They would stop when she was thirty. Or forty. Forty-five definitely. Forty five was a good age to have a first boyfriend. He could cope with that.
Dear Gods Lucius was talking again. He was scared if he nodded he'd be roped into something fucking awful like the last time. How was he to know he was agreeing to steal Thoros Notts fucking prize chicken? Why did Thoros even have a prize chicken?
He was worryingly fond of it. He'd paid Lucius the half a million galleons ransom money and written the poem about peacocks being better than chickens as requested. Lucius had framed the poem and then he'd made Severus pose with the bird in order to prove they had it.
Thoros still wasn't speaking to him. It was probably for the best. Any man who loved a chicken that much should probably be avoided.
His daughter left the Manor looking disconcertingly like her mother. She always had but now Narcissa had tamed her hair and it was no longer attempting to devour her whole, the resemblance was even more remarkable. He watched in slight amusement as she waved to Draco who wasn't returning to the castle until Christmas day, none of her little Gryffindor friends would believe that.
"They were surprisingly nice. Normal, almost. Well, not normal, Uncle Lucius appears to have an unnatural fondness for those peacocks."
He snorted. "Indeed he does. I think he may like them more than Draco. Uncle Lucius?"
"He and Aunt Cissa asked me to call them that. It seemed ungrateful to refuse, especially when Aunt Cissa spent the afternoon teaching me to manage my hair. She told me stories about my mother at school. Apparently I remind her more of you."
"So I've been told."
She arched a brow at him. "That, that expression right there is me! And Professor McGonagall appears to think you inherited some of my personality traits. Your lack of care for the rules though, that is all your mother."
"I follow the rules!"
"Philosopher's stone?"
"In my defence, we did try to tell Professor McGonagall!"
"Not very hard. And you live in a school full of teachers, why not try another one?"
"Who? You? You'd have thought we were trying to trick you! And given that we thought you were trying to steal it, that would have been stupid."
She had a point, he conceded reluctantly and did he really want to continue this argument? She was speaking to him and she was in his rooms, looking comfy, eyeing his books covetously. Maybe he should allow her to read some, it might mean she visited him more often. Of course, she'd also probably have to tell people, and he wasn't sure how she felt about that.
She hadn't explicitly told Draco to keep his mouth shut, which meant Slytherin would know soon if they didn't already, which meant it wouldn't be long until the rest of the school knew. He should probably mention something to Albus. Soon, really.
"You could read some of them, you know? Not all of them, some of them are awful. But a few."
Good Gods he'd never expected anyone to look that happy at something he'd said. And she was hugging him again. He didn't mind it so much this time, at least now he knew what to do with his hands. It still felt odd though.
"Thank you…..what am I meant to call you? It's really strange to keep calling you Sir."
"I….I don't know. What do you want to call me?"
A look passed over her face that he didn't want to examine too closely, it looked almost amused. He supposed he'd invited that one.
"I have a Dad. You definitely don't seem like a Daddy, or a Papa. I could call you Severus I suppose." she said eventually.
No. No she could not. He wasnt having his child call him Severus, that was fucking awful.
"If you would prefer not to use my given name, how about Father?"
She laughed at him. It hurt.
"I could" she said once she calmed down. "You definitely have Darth Vader vibes going on." She put on a ridiculous voice "I am your Father"
What? Who the fuck was Darth Vader? What was she going on about?
"Oh my God! You have no idea what I'm talking about do you?"
Why was she laughing at him? Why did everyone seem to think he was funny?
"We're renting that next time I take you home. You'll see."
Take him home? What was she going on about? She couldn't possibly think he was going back to her parents could she? Although….if he wanted Dr Granger on side for the teeth removal, maybe he should visit again. And really, he wanted to know who this Darth Vader character was. Even if he did have to endure the pastels. He could take the Drs Granger some firewhiskey to try.