Hi everyone. I've been getting all of your feedback and responding to those of you I can through PM. Many of you have concerns about where this story is headed, regardless of if you prefer Beki x Neji or Beki x Gaara. This chapter is almost twice the length of what I normally put out, but that's because some big things happen here. I would ask that you read it all the way through so where it starts to where it ends up makes sense. For those of you who did not like Apology Sundae, that was a sort of bonus chapter. As I've told you all before, I write my story in arcs and that was basically filler content because people had been asking for a Neji scene. I was originally going to have this portion happen and Beki and Neji talk after. That decision will make sense by the end of this. Enjoy!

The next day, Gaara led her through town wordlessly but he was constantly peeking out the corner of his eye at her. A sly smile tugged at his lips but he kept it buried, afraid to give away some secret.

"What are you up to?" Beki gave him a suspicious look, her face pulling into a frown. "I don't like this."

"Shh." Gaara squeezed her hand. "We're almost there."

Beki watched their surroundings in an attempt to predict where he was taking her. It wasn't in the same direction as any of the restaurants or shops he'd taken her to in the past. Based on her own adventures through the streets with Yuki, Beki couldn't place the neighborhood. It seemed awfully quiet for Gaara to be so excited to take her there. I really hope he isn't taking me to the graveyard or something. Beki shuddered, not because that was a bad idea, but because growing up around the shrine and in the ancient town below, Beki had spent a fair amount of time wandering the historic graveyard with Ren. During her travels with her dad, it had almost become a hobby. Seiichiro said you could learn a lot about a people by how they treated their dead. What Beki worried about most was how that would look to Gaara, how engrossed Beki could get about tombstones and crypts. An unusual interest in cactuses was cute and quirky. An unhealthy knowledge about cemeteries was unsettling.

"We're here." Gaara let his grin surface and Beki almost sighed aloud with relief. He had brought her to Suna's academy. "I know how much you enjoy children and they don't often get to lay eyes on a shinobi from so far away."

"Oh, you're showing me off like some sort of circus animal?" Beki cocked an eyebrow. "Classy, Gaara." She gave him a faint grin to show that she was joking. Or at least, half joking. She really didn't know if she was being shown off as a foreign ninja or as the Kazekage's girlfriend.

Gaara cleared his throat. "Just so you're aware…Suna kids can be a little rough."

Beki looked around at the barren village, cracked concrete and weathered buildings all around. "I can imagine."

"Alright. They're waiting for us." Gaara led her through the doors.

"How long did you have this planned?" Beki looked at him.

Gaara shrugged. "Shortly after we set the dates the idea occurred to me. The sooner the villagers get used to you being a fixture here, the easier I think your transfer will be for all parties involved."

Beki's stomach turned a little as he spoke. I thought we had shelved that conversation for a while?

The school was like all the other buildings in Suna: constructed in clay brick with plaster walls and stone floor. It was cool inside; Beki didn't see any windows, the building seemed to be exclusively lit by electric lights. Gaara wove through the halls like it were his own home, eventually leading her to a room that based on the "artwork" on the bulletin board outside had to be full of kindergarten or first graders.

With a quick grin at Beki, Gaara knocked on the door. A voice beckoned them inside and Gaara opened the door to cheers. A small smile tugged involuntarily at Beki's lips. They love him, he's their hero. It was a hard act to follow but Beki crossed the threshold behind him.

The chatter stopped and Beki had sixteen pairs of eyes glued to her.

"Hello everyone," Gaara gestured to Beki. "This is the friend I told you about. She's traveled a long way here from Getsugakure."

The teacher, who Beki had just noticed, was a hard looking middle aged woman with chin length brown hair. She looked expectantly at her students: "Where is Getsugakure?"

"The Land of the Month?" One child called out.

"No," The teacher sighed. "We went over this." The children all started talking to one another, their bodies wiggling in their seats as the volume raised significantly.

"The Land of the Calendar!" Another child called out, sure of their answer.

"The Land of the Moon." Beki grinned. "That was close. You guys are clever, trying to guess based on the 'Getsu' part. Its one of those words that has more than one meaning. You know, like how a bow can be something you put in your hair or you shoot an arrow with. 'Getsu' can mean month or moon."

The teacher had been watching Beki's reaction to the ruckus. Impressed, or at least satisfied, the teacher nodded. "The Land of the Moon is in the Kaijuu Ocean to the southeast of here."

"I have an uncle with a scar that looks like a moon!" A boy called out and the teacher shushed him.

Beki smiled at the teacher and shrugged. This had nothing on wrangling preschoolers at the academy in Konoha. These kids were sitting, fully potty trained, and no one was trying to eat dirt. Or crying. Yet.

"Do you have any questions for Tsukimori san?" The teacher looked at her students. "About being a shinobi, or what its like in her village?"

A little girl raised her hand and Beki pointed at her. "Go ahead."

"Are you a boy or a girl?"

The question caught Beki off guard. She had been expecting the usual stuff about weapons or what trees looked like. Now, had she been wearing the armor, that question wouldn't have seemed so strange. It was big and boxy and flattened out anything with curves. Today Beki was wearing a pair of leggings and a blousy shirt. She made a habit of wearing sports bras so that played down her chest, but still not so much that she would expect a passerby to think she was a boy. "I'm a girl," Beki laughed, her best attempt at sounding good natured.

"Are you sure?" The girl narrowed her eyes. "Your body looks like a girl but you have a boy face."

The teacher shot her a look that could cut glass and the girl went quiet. Beki cleared her throat. "Anyone else?"

A boy called out: "If you're this big, how big are the boys in Getsu?"

"I'm tall. Even for boys in my village. People are about the same size there as they are in Suna." Beki looked at the other children. "Do you guys like going to the beach? We have beaches in Getsu, too. The water is warmer than it is by the Land of Wind because the ocean by us isn't as deep-"

"Are your eyebrows always like that?" Another little girl called out but she was deep in the pack and was too quick to be identified.

"Anything about Getsu? What any of the other kage are like? I've met all of them but the Tsuchikage-" Beki was trying to think of anything that could draw their interest and distract them from her. "Do you guys like ghost stories? We have some really scary ones from where I come from. Super spooky stuff."

"This is boring." A small voice said in the silence. "She doesn't even catch fire."

"Oh," Beki laughed uncomfortably. "That isn't something I just do whenever. I have to be upset. Really sad or angry. I'm meeting new friends today, making friends doesn't make me sad or angry." She glanced at Gaara and he gestured toward the door.

The teacher faced the class. "Say thank you to Tsukimori san."

The students stood and bowed and gave the most half hearted thank you Beki had ever heard. She followed Gaara out of the room with a confused look her face. "What was that about? Is my reputation that bad in the ninja community?"

Gaara sighed. "No, this is my fault. I might have let it slip that you had a kekke genkai that let you be on fire and not burn."

Beki furrowed her brow. "Then of course I disappointed them! There's nothing kids love more than fire!"

"I was impressed how well you kept your cool." Gaara took her hand and gave it a squeeze. "I was starting to worry they had gotten under your skin. I don't know what I would do if you actually went up in public."

Beki shrugged. "As long as you aren't within arm's length you don't get more than singed."

"I meant about how you would lose all your clothes." Gaara looked her over. "That's something I like to think of as mine. I don't know what I would do if everyone in town knew what you looked like naked."

Then don't ask anyone in Konoha, Beki thought. She had borrowed aprons, flak jackets, and robes from more people than she could count. For a while, when things were really unstable, Neji got in the habit of wearing an extra undershirt in case she combusted. It was long enough to keep her decent until she could get home and had saved her from additional embarrassment more times than she could count. But Gaara wasn't Neji, and she wasn't sure what Gaara would do in that situation. Wrap her in sand? Would he have to unstrap his harness to give her his jacket, which was hot and heavy leather and would probably drag along on the ground after her? No. Beki almost laughed at the thought. He would never be around when it happened. I'd probably end up having to borrow from strangers here, too. Based on the behavior of the kids in that class and how villagers looked at her on the street, Beki wasn't so sure they'd be as chill about lending out to the girl that caught fire. Lucky for me Neji helped me get my shit together.

…

When Kankuro got home that night, he came through the door with a few steaming boxes of pizza. "What's that for?" Gaara asked.

"Hey, I know this is like your guys' little hang out time, but I get lonely too, you know," Kankuro set the pizza on the table. "I thought this might be enough to convince you guys to let me in on the fun."

"No threesomes," Beki called from the couch. Kankuro laughed but Gaara kept silent, his mouth hanging open in shock and his face twisted in horror.

"It was a joke, Gaara." Kankuro sighed. "I meant I wanted to hang out with you guys and Beki made it sound twisted."

"You make it too easy," Beki laughed as she got up from her seat. "What did you have in mind?"

Kankuro shrugged. "I don't know. We have more board games than you can shake a stick at in the hall closet."

Ugh. Beki kept a smile on her face but the idea was less than appealing. She had spent more Saturday nights than any teenager should with her friend's family instead of doing, well, teenager stuff. Hyuga family game night was one thing, now she was going to spend her vacation time playing board games with Gaara's family? Beki followed the boys to the closet anyway. At least Kankuro had a good sense of humor, and it seemed like when he was around Gaara loosened up a little, too. When he opened the door and Beki saw the options, she couldn't contain herself:

"Weeeeaaaaak."

Kankuro shot her an exasperated look. "Okay, you have to forgive the fact that somebody didn't have the patience for long games when we were kids."

Beki looked at Gaara and he shook his head. "He's talking about Temari."

"The first time we played Monopoly," Kankuro pulled off his hat and ran his fingers through his mop of brown hair. "She was the bank. We had to keep our money perfectly organized, in order, and all of our properties as well."

"It eventually turned into us vs. the bank," Gaara sighed. "That was the worst twelve hours of that summer."

"It was so bad, any time we ever played it again Gaara had to be banker." Kankuro folded his arms and Beki raised an eyebrow.

"Wasn't he like, super angry and violent as a kid?"

Gaara gave her a sidelong look. "I had some good qualities, Beki."

"Yeah," Kankuro nodded. "He was always honest and fair at board games. Spam kicking asshole in video games, but a good banker."

Gaara shrugged. "Get good."

Beki shook her head and stepped past Kankuro to get a better look at the games while the boys argued about whether the zombie fire shinobi or the ice clone shinobi was better. She had no idea what they were talking about and zoned them out after a minute. There was a trivia game but the last thing Beki wanted to do was to think about obscure geography facts and try to remember the names of actors in movies from thirty years ago. There were several two player only games, which although could be run tournament style, would still ultimately end up being too boring. "Do you guys just want to play poker?"

Kankuro sighed. "Are they all that bad?"

"Do you not like card games?" Beki cocked her head.

"We just play a lot of cards." Gaara folded his arms. "Kankuro and I end up waiting for a lot of meetings together."

Beki nodded and went back to the closet. "Okay. Then how about charades?"

Kankuro gave a half shrug and a nod in assent. "Yeah, sure."

"I'm not…I'm not very good at charades," Gaara apologized.

Kankuro gave him a playful sock on the arm. "I got you." He walked over to the fridge and pulled out one of the bottom drawers. Behind the drawer, beer cans were taped to the back of the fridge. He peeled them out one by one, replaced the drawer, and closed the fridge. Gaara looked up at him with a confused expression.

"That was genius." Beki grinned. "When did you come up with that?"

Kankuro coughed. "I, uh, might have learned that from dad."

Gaara's expression darkened. "Was he a closet alcoholic?"

Kankuro held up his hand, his index finger and thumb almost touching. "A little bit."

Beki shrugged and took the offered beer. "Not bad. Thanks!"

"I figure this will help loosen everyone up." He nudged his brother. "Especially some people."

"I get you mean me," Gaara shook his head and took a beer can. "I don't see why we need this to have a good time."

"I don't know, I'm curious to see what you're like with a little alcohol in your system." Beki gave him a playful smile. "You've seen me tipsy."

Kankuro gestured to Gaara. "He couldn't get drunk when he had the One Tail. Burned through the alcohol before it hit his system."

"So is this the first time you've tried to get drunk since then?" Beki asked.

Gaara popped the top on his beer and shook his head. "I'm not going to try to get drunk."

The trio started off slow, the charades obvious. After they'd finished their beers, Kankuro went and fished more out from behind the other fridge drawer. They were higher proof than Beki was used to in a beer but her tolerance for alcohol was high. Gaara, on the other hand, and even Kankuro to some extent, were much more affected. The mood lifted and the charades got silly. It was all fun and games until Gaara put his foot through an antique screen. Almost immediately, the pair sobered up and the boys had to run out in the middle of the night to have it repaired before Temari got home. Before they ran off, Beki learned through conversation that the boys had struck up friendships with all kinds of repairmen and laundry women in the village to rescue them from Temari's wrath. It was enough to leave Beki wondering why their sister wasn't the Kazekage. Then again, no one liked living under a despot. She sat there at the kitchen table by herself and was left thinking about Hyuga family game night. For all intents and purposes, it should have been the worst day of Beki's week. Sitting in a room with a bunch of people who shared the same power, which she lacked, trying to keep up with their games was impossible. Neji always tried to find a way to include her, though. If it was his turn, he picked something in the room or described something in the gardens that Beki would immediately know. Usually it was something they had just passed by or had been talking about. There were always snacks and tea, too. Neji made sure her plate and cup were never empty.

The pizzas Kankuro had brought home were all but gone. She took the boxes into the kitchen and packed up the last few pieces. Both pizzas had been saturated in meat, totally the sort of thing brothers should be eating on a game night. The only problem was it was too much for Beki. Bacon, sausage, pepperoni, and bits of ham just looked like a stomach ache to her. It wasn't that Beki had a weak gut but she was a little sensitive to greasy food. Not that it would make her have a serious reaction; Beki would just get indigestion and maybe pay for it in the bathroom the next day. She'd managed to find a piece that hadn't been so loaded but one slice was hardly enough to hold Beki over. Beki hadn't wanted to seem rude; Kankuro had been the one to bring them home. Part of her thought about Gaara, though. Shouldn't a boyfriend be able to notice tummy problems? Beki was sure she had mentioned it at some point. He should have at least noticed that Beki had hardly eaten, when normally she scarfed down food like a farm hand. If Beki was out eating with Neji and he noticed she wasn't throwing it back, he always asked if it was okay. More than once he'd swapped plates with her and let her have the rest of his meal to spare her discomfort. Or, if she ate all of her food too quickly, Neji would let her have some of his. But that wasn't fair. Gaara didn't spend as much time with her as Neji did, so she couldn't expect Gaara to be Neji.

…

It was a beautiful, clear, moonless night. The sky in the desert wasn't a pure black, the way it looked most places. It was the deepest shade of blue, brightening to purple near the horizon. There was so little light disruption that Beki could see more stars than she'd ever seen in her life. Unfortunately, that meant it felt like the two were floating in the void. Everything around them was the purest of darkness. It was an absolute abyss with no sound. Beki kept her mind off the absolute horror of that hovering truth by focusing on the gorgeous stars above. In places, it looked like long stretches of bright clouds were in the sky. There were stars in front of them, though, more than she could ever count. Beki couldn't remember seeing the cloudlike patterns before and was trying her best to commit them to memory. There was no telling when there would be another view like this again.

The sand cloud Gaara had them on was high enough that Beki couldn't dare to look down. Despite the heat during the day, it was bitter cold at night, so the two were snuggled up under a blanket. Beki for the first time ever was grateful for the sand: where she laid warmed with her body heat and retained it. Gaara had his arm under her neck for a pillow while he held her hand in his.

"Maybe if we have time next week and things are quiet enough, we'll go back out to the beach." Gaara stroked her hand. "I think back to that weekend a lot. The good parts of it."

Beki's mind immediately went to the terrifying laugh of the One Tail, the smoke and destruction of the Akatsuki attack. "Yeah."

As they lay there, Beki could feel his breathing slow. "Oh, don't you dare fall asleep!"

"Sorry," Gaara let out a sleepy laugh. "This is just too relaxing. It's such a nice night…and having you here…" Gaara rolled over and snuggled into her neck. "I could live like this Beki."

She stayed silent but reached up and ran her nails gently along his scalp, through the mess of his scarlet hair. Beki pondered if it would be hard to run her fingers through long hair. Neji was so defensive of his; she wondered if he would even let her. Beki bet his hair would feel like silk. She could feel the sand cloud loosening and shook Gaara. "If you're falling asleep, we should go back. You can't keep up a jutsu while you're sleeping and I'm not spending the night in the desert."

"Okay." Gaara sat up and kissed her with a lethargic grin. "Let's go home." He pulled her into his arms and kept the blanket around them both as he flew. Beki had no idea how he could find his way in the dark, but Gaara got them there.

…

On the sixth day, Beki headed up to his office same as usual. As she approached the bridge, Gaara's guard called out for her to halt. She shook her head and laughed.

"Very funny. I know this is the first time you've seen me in a dress but I swear I'm not an imposter."

"The Kazekage is in an important meeting." The guard said, a hand raised. "He left instructions for you to head to his house. He will meet you there later."

Beki blinked. An emergency must have popped up. She hadn't heard any whispering or seen an unusual behavior in town earlier. Yuki hadn't mentioned anything, either, and if anyone had the pulse on a place it was hers. Whatever the crisis was it was happening outside Suna. These things happened, though, so Beki nodded and headed on her way. Gaara had left her a key to borrow in case she needed to stop in during the day. She let herself inside and stared into the empty house.

It was deathly quiet, like a school in the summertime or a hospital that had closed its doors for good. The expectant, sentient kind of quiet that saw things, knew things, and kept secrets. Beki found it unsettling. She had been in plenty of old buildings, the kind people would expect to be haunted, and yet they were always full of comforting noise. Clocks ticking, pipes banging, old floorboards popping back into place. This house kind of reminded Beki of the desert itself: seemingly empty and barren but fully alive, full of predators and prey, life and death.

There was a meticulously arranged bookshelf in the living room. Beki walked over, haphazardly picked a chapter book, and plopped unceremoniously on the couch. The book wasn't trash, disappointingly, but a dry textbook like account of politics in early Suna. The paragraphs ran together the longer Beki read them, the words blurring on the page. She scoffed and tossed the book on the coffee table as she pressed her palms to her eyes. Beki held them there, seeing stars and spots swirl as she gently applied pressure to her aching eyes. It was a little cool in the house, or at least cool enough that Beki's inactivity had caught up with her and given her a chill. She pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and draped it over herself. It was comfortable nestled into the leather with the surprisingly plush afghan to keep her warm. While Beki wondered if it was a recently made afghan or some family heirloom, she didn't notice her eyes growing heavy.

The sound of a key in the lock pulled her back into consciousness. Beki was surprised to find that the world was dark.

How long was I asleep?

"Hey," Gaara called out as he flicked on the lights. "Sorry that ran so late."

Beki shrugged as she blinked at the aggressive blinding light. "What was the emergency?"

Gaara came around the couch and sat down by her feet. Beki pulled herself up into a sitting position, still wrapped in the warm blanket. He held out a small brown paper bag and gave her a sheepish smile. "I got you something for your patience. It's your favorite."

Beki took the bag with furrowed brows. She had a lot of favorite things and this bag was too light and too cold to be a kitten. A smile broke out across her face. "Ice cream?"

Gaara nodded, his eyes expectantly on her face as she opened the bag. Beki dove in and pulled out the sundae container. The moment she laid her eyes on it, Beki froze the smile on her face. It was an enormous scoop of rocky road ice cream covered with whipped cream and bananas. No hot fudge, no cherries, and probably the worst flavor of ice cream in the world. Beki hated nothing more than having her ice cream experience ruined by a wad of freeze dried marshmallow grating against her teeth or biting down on an unexpected hunk of almond. It was the ice cream equivalent of a cement mixer full of the trash of the toppings world. "Thanks, Gaara."

His eyes were on her the whole time as she popped open the lid and started picking through the ice cream, carefully flicking out bits of junk so she could get one good spoonful of plain ice cream. The worst part for Beki was knowing that Gaara hated sweets. He had gone out of his way to get her ice cream and couldn't even make an educated guess as to what she liked. So now Gaara was just going to sit there and watch Beki as she forced down one of the worst sundaes she had eaten in her life. Beki felt the telltale hard sponge texture of marshmallow and forced herself to just swallow the rest of the bite whole. She couldn't help but think back to the last time she had ice cream with Neji. Not only did he have her whole order memorized, but other times when they had gotten ice cream together, he always made good choices, too. If Beki wanted a bite of what he had, it was always something she would never think to get, like pistachio, but it was always so good. Sometimes she'd end up eating more of his ice cream than hers. But there would be no sharing here, no chance Gaara had picked a better choice and they could share. Gaara wasn't Neji.

"Now that you're appeased," Gaara began.

Hardly.

"I have to break some news to you."

The door opened again and Kankuro came inside, his face haggard. "Hey. You have a chance to tell her yet?"

Gaara shook his head. "Just getting to it now."

Beki gave him a questioning look. "Well now my curiosity's stirred. What's going on?"

"There's something that I've been working on for a while. I didn't bring it up because, frankly, I didn't know if it was going to happen." Gaara pat her foot affectionately on top of the blanket. "For the first time in decades, there is going to be a meeting between the five kage."

"Wow," Beki's eyes widened. "That's…significant."

"Yes," Gaara smiled, reassured by Beki's understanding. "It will be in the Land of Iron and there isn't much time to prepare. Kankuro and I are going to have to leave soon to make it there in time. I guess they've been keeping the arrangements under wraps until the absolute last second as an added security measure."

Beki shrugged. "Well, cool. I can come along. I'll just send Ishida a letter letting him know that I'll be out for a few extra weeks. Mom can go back to Konoha in the meantime."

Gaara looked her square in the eye and took on the gentle tone a parent would use to break bad news to their child. "I can't take you with me, Beki. There are some important matters we'll need to discuss."

"Everyone but the Tsuchikage knows me, Gaara." Beki explained. "I won't be in the meetings or anything. I'll just do what I've been doing here: you'll go and take care of the business for the day and I'll just hang with you when you get out. The important thing is that we spend time together, right?"

"If I bring a foreign power with me to the Five Kage Summit, I won't seem objective. I'm young, Beki. I have to prove myself as someone who is worthy of title of kage." Gaara reached out and took ahold of her hand as he spoke. "Even if you weren't an ambassador, it would be poor taste for me to bring along a plus one. The security for this event is staggering and they all know I am aware of that. If I bring someone who hasn't been cleared in advance, even if they know you, it'll start things off on a bad note."

Beki's heart sank. As she watched him talk, it was as if his face slowly changed until he was a different person, a stranger. She felt a chord pluck inside her and her lip curled into a bitter smile. "So, nothing's changed."

Gaara sighed. "No, Beki. I would really like to spend some quality time with you, too. But with the state that the world is in...it's just going to have to wait."

"You do realize how many times we've had this conversation? How many times you've told me you're sorry, that it's going to get better, I have to be patient," Beki took her hands back from him and folded them in her lap. "It's been two, almost three years, Gaara, and nothing has changed. Nothing is getting better and it's never going to because you will never change."

Beki could feel her temper flaring, boiling to the surface, and putting pressure in her throat. It was building up to the point of explosion but Beki took a deep breath to stop herself from yelling. "I have done everything I could to compromise. I have tried so hard to be understanding and patient and I get nothing in return." Beki shook her head and sighed. "This week has been nice but it wasn't real. You getting off early, taking me out, staying with me through the night…it was just a show. This," Beki gestured to the slowly melting ice cream in her lap and then at Gaara. "This is the reality. Sitting around, waiting for you to show up with only an empty apology and a request to wait again."

"I appreciate your patience, Beki," Gaara tried to touch her but she swatted his hand away. It was obvious she was upset; he knew this was disappointing for her. "I haven't been the best boyfriend when it comes to putting you first. My village needs me, Beki. There are things that only I can do and so, unfortunately, what I want and what is needed of me often are in conflict."

Beki closed the ice cream back up and put it in the bag. She stood up from the couch, letting the blanket slip onto the floor as she tossed the bag on the coffee table. Gaara watched her as she scooped up her bag and started stuffing on her shoes. "I love you, Beki, more than I've loved anything in my life. You have helped me so much. You make me feel normal." Beki said nothing, so he continued, compelled to fill the stretching silence between them. "I know this is difficult to deal with-" Gaara stood up and tried to wrap his arms around her. Beki side stepped away and glanced around the room, making sure not a single item of hers was left behind. "Beki." He said softly. There was a time where hearing Gaara say her name sent a thrill through Beki but now, all she felt was disappointment. The words had been bouncing around in her head all week but now they took on a whole different meaning, one that made her decision clear: Gaara wasn't Neji.

Beki became aware of a small weight pressing against her chest and fished out the necklace Gaara had given her. She pulled it over her head and tossed it at him. "Here," Beki took ahold of the door handle and looked at him over her shoulder. There was a foreign coldness, an intensity to her eyes Gaara had never seen before. "We're done. That's it, no more. When I get back to Konoha, I'm going to file a formal request that another ambassador be assigned to Suna. That way we don't have to keep this up any more. You will have no reason to contact me and we never have to see each other again."

"I know you're angry with me." Gaara wanted to try to touch her again. He wanted to comfort her and reestablish the bond between them. Just by her body language, he knew that was the last thing Beki wanted. "When I get back from the Summit, we'll talk this all out. Just like we always do."

"Goodbye, Kazekage sama." Beki opened the door and stepped out into the night. She heard her name but ignored it, not slowing her pace or taking her eyes off the horizon until she was outside the inn.

Kankuro watched the door shut behind Beki and slowly turned to look at his brother. "Gaara, that…that sounded pretty permanent."

Gaara shook his head. "She's just really upset right now." He looked down at the pendant she had thrown at him. It was still warm from the contact with her skin. It had been full of his chakra infused sand. Over time, her chakra had seeped into it so Gaara felt a little bit of both of them inside it. The sensation was comforting, a physical representation of their bond. It was a promise he had made to her of the future they would share. "I didn't tell you this but when she first arrived in Suna we had a fight. I had really hurt her with something I did. We worked it out but I think that she was still carrying some hurt from that fight into this one."

"Gaara, that didn't sound emotional at all." Kankuro pointed at the door. "She just cut the cord. You need to go out there right now and catch it before it slips off the boat."

"Okay, Kankuro, you go to the Kage summit for me and I'll stay here and fix my relationship with my girlfriend." Gaara threw up his hands and looked at Kankuro indignantly.

Kankuro paused and sighed. "I get it."

"No, no one here seems to get it. I'm the Kazekage. There are things that only I can do. That means I don't have a choice in the matter, either." He sighed. "We've been through worse. No matter what's happened, Beki and I are always able to come to a solution. Once I'm back from the summit and she's had some time to cool off we can sit down and talk it out."

"Things were going really well for you guys this week," Kankuro rubbed the back of his head. "I don't think I've ever seen you this happy. To be honest, I haven't heard that much laughter in this house since before Uncle died."

Gaara shook his head. "I know. Beki thinks this means we're over. But if I've learned anything since meeting Naruto, it's to never give up. There's got to be a way to earn back her trust."

Kankuro sighed. He wished he could help his little brother through this, but in his experience, there was no coming back from things like this. "If there is a way, Gaara, it's something 'only you can do'."

Yuki was surprised by Beki's sudden intrusion but she was at least dressed, for once. A joke died on Yuki's lips and the smile faded at the sight of Beki's face. "What happened, kiddo? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Beki said as she crossed over to her duffle bag and started packing up. "Better than ever, actually. Gaara made up my mind for me."

Yuki held still as she watched her daughter, searching for signs of emotional pain or injury. Beki moved quickly around the room but her movements were careful and measured. The girl was eager to get out of town but not frantic, the way a person would be during an emotional overreaction. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"If you don't mind, we have the whole journey ahead of us to talk and I want to get out of this Godforsaken town as fast as possible," Beki zipped up her bag and looked expectantly at her mother. "The second those gates are out of sight, we'll never have to look at them again."

Yuki shrugged and started gathering her own things. "You have a plan to make sure that happens?"

"If the king wants to negotiate a deal with the Kazekage, he can send Ishida to do it." Beki heaved a sigh. "If he insists he won't work with anyone but me, I'll resign. They can't force me to be an ambassador."

Yuki nodded. "If that's what you want, I've got your back." They spent the next few minutes in silence as Yuki packed up the last of her things and did a quick once over of the room. "Okay. Let's get the hell out of here."

…

Instead of having to head straight back to Konoha and face the walk of shame of coming home from Suna early again, Yuki and Beki took a detour. On the more hospitable side of the border, the pair found a clearing in the trees alongside the wall of cliff and made camp. Beki had been seething, her movements antsy from her pent-up frustration for two days. Yuki proposed a simple solution: destruction.

The temperature in the clearing was about ten degrees lower than the surrounding forest, a fog forming at their feet. There was so much moisture in the air Yuki barely had to concentrate as she formed ice clone after ice clone, just for Beki to smash them to smithereens with a tree limb she'd crudely carved into a club. Yuki winced at the increasing savagery of each blow. "Beks, could you maybe not look so hateful as you break the clones? They look like me, you know. I can't help but take it a little personally."

"I'M JUST SO ANGRY!" Beki smashed another clone, bringing the club down through it from head to groin. Yuki narrowed her eyes and concentrated on the formation of the next one, making the next clone a solid block of ice. As Beki swung the club with all her strength, it connected with the side of the clone but instantly rebounded. The kickback rang Beki like a bell and dropped her to the ground.

"Still grouchy I see," Yuki folded her arms and chuckled. "I thought you said you weren't really broken up about it."

"I'm not," Beki sighed. "I mean, not really upset. Just…kind of upset."

"Did you cave?" Yuki asked and after a pause, Beki replied with a sigh:

"Yes. I got wrapped up in the fairy tale of having all his time and attention. I dropped my guard and put out because I'm a moron and thought that this time things were going to work out."

A small silence passed between them. Just as Beki began to bring herself back up onto her feet, Yukihana's voice sounded:

"Why would you do that if you were on your way to breaking up with him?"

Beki sighed and shrugged. "I…I've only ever slept with Gaara. Being alone with him in bed after a romantic night, I got caught up in it. It's something we've only done, like, less than a dozen times. It was always exciting but this time…I don't know. It was just like everything else this trip. Physically it was fine, but I just felt so emotionally empty afterwards. I don't know how else to explain it. He knows my body and what I like, he was my boyfriend, everything went exactly how it should of. Even when we were cuddling afterwards I just felt like I should have felt something…more."

When Yuki finally spoke, Beki was surprised at how easily she'd been let off the hook: "So, did you and your dad ever talk about what you should look for in a good relationship?"

After a few moments, Beki finally replied: "No. We never really got around to it."

"I know you feel like I'm always lecturing you," Yuki threw up her hands submissively. "But hear me out. I'll keep it simple so we aren't here all day."

Beki rolled her eyes. "Alright, go ahead Yuki."

Yuki waited until Beki was back up in a sitting position. Once they had eye contact, Yuki held up her thumb. "This is Yuki's ironclad 5 relationship rules. First of all, your partner needs to be responsible. Kind of like a parent, taking care of you and calling you out on all the ways you forget to take care of yourself, someone kind of like…" Yuki looked up at the sky, her eyes narrowing as she tried to pull a name out of the air. "Neji."

"Dad away from dad. Got it." Beki sighed. "What's next."

"He has to be taller than you. No one likes having to forgo wearing heels and sitting in photos for the rest of their life. Who do I know your age that's tall enough…" Yuki tapped her chin. "Oh, Neji." Yuki raised her index finger. "Then there's attraction. They have to be handsome enough that you're attracted to them. You know who's pretty good looking? Neji. Neji's so attractive I don't think boys or girls could tell him 'no'."

Beki opened her mouth to protest but Yuki gave her a stern look and raised the next finger. "Your partner has to be intelligent, too. Either on your level or higher. Nothing is more boring than talking to someone who's not as smart as you all the frigging time. Imagine having to constantly explain things over and over or having them misunderstand you on a regular basis." Yuki pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes, as if searching for a memory. "Didn't you say Neji was a genius?"

Beki stared her mother down, her thinning patience clear in her tone. "Yes. What are you getting at here?"

Yuki held up her other hand for patience as she raised her ring finger for the previous point. "Hold on, there's one more. Number five being-" Yuki held up her pinky. "They have to have a big dick."

"Like Neji, I got it!" Beki blurted but then caught herself. She gasped sharply and clapped her hands over her mouth as a wicked, catlike grin bared Yuki's too white teeth.

"So, I was right about his endowments," Yuki's eyes gleamed mischievously as she tapped her fingertips together. "And you, my dear, have seen them first hand?"

Beki kept her hands clamped over her mouth and looked away.

"Or have you more than just seen it?" Yuki formed an ice clone and it crouched down and poked her, its Cheshire grin an exact replica of its original's. "Not that it would have been that difficult for you two to have gotten into some trouble together. You've had plenty of opportunities-"

"It was an accident!" Beki's face was hot with embarrassment. She didn't need a mirror to know her cheeks were bright scarlet. "He was using Hinata's shower and I went in there to talk to her AND THE HYUUGA ALL LOOK THE SAME FROM BEHIND!"

Yuki burst out laughing. She fell over in her fit of girlish giggling, kicking her legs and punching the air in excitement, her voice a high-pitched squawk: "I KNEW IT!"

Beki reached over and slapped at Yuki's clone, her only chance at retaliation. "Stop! No one else knows!"

Yuki shook her head, her face still split in a wide grin. "Oh, I pegged you so well. Both of you, you nerds!"

"How does that make us nerds!?" Beki folded her arms. "I imagine you've seen your share of naked people, both on purpose and accidentally-"

"No, because you're both so damned into each other but you're both too chicken to say so!" Yuki sighed. "I mean, come on. Have you seen how he looks at you? Neji stares at you the way a lost sailor gazes joyously at the first sight of land."

Beki shook her head, a hint of sadness in her voice. "I'm not his type."

"The hell you aren't his type!" Yuki jumped to her feet and stared Beki down. "Why do you think that?"

"He's told me he likes someone." Beki hugged herself a little tighter.

The gesture didn't escape Yuki's notice but she let it slide for the moment. "Did he say who?'

"No," Beki looked at Yuki. "But wouldn't that be a weird thing to say to the person you liked?"

"Did you ask him who it was?" Yuki put her hands on her hips.

Beki shook her head.

"Was there an expectant silence, like he was waiting for you to ask?" Yuki raised an eyebrow.

Beki was silent for a moment as she recalled the conversation. "Yes, now that you mention it. Wait…Are you saying he was going to tell me it was me if I asked?"

"Yes! And that's the problem! You're both so back door about everything!" Yuki sighed in frustration. "I would bet a year's salary that if you walked up to him and said 'I like you' he would be your boyfriend on the spot."

Beki's brows knit. "I mean, I do like him. I…I was thinking about it the whole time I was in Suna. Neji had been ignoring me for a while. Once he started talking to me again I realized how much I had missed him. No one knows me like he does. He is the best friend I've ever had and it's weird for me, thinking back on everything in a different light. I would talk to him about it to try to figure things out but to be honest I'm kind of scared. Just a few weeks ago we weren't even talking to each other, and now I'm going to run up and be like, 'hey, Neji, I really think you and me should be a couple'. Plus, I literally just dumped Gaara and it would look super suspicious, like I'm rebounding with him. I don't know what it is because he won't tell me, but I think I did something that really hurt Neji. Even if he likes me back, he might turn me down because of it."

"I've seen you with both of them." Yuki interrupted. "Back when you were into Gaara, you looked at Gaara the way a kid looks at cotton candy. They want it but they don't need it. It's a treat they'll forget about in twenty minutes. Neji, on the other hand," Yuki chuckled maliciously. "Whenever you're in trouble, scared, or something happens that you're happy or proud of, your head snaps up and you look around until you find Neji. I've even seen you pass up Hinata as your first pick when he's around."

Beki felt something strange in her chest. Yuki was right. Without realizing it, Beki was always looking for Neji. Whenever she was in trouble, he had always turned up and helped her. Was that why, because Beki had started to expect him to show up and save her? No, that wasn't it. She was having such a good time at the festival before Ren's accident. Beki remembered that she kept scanning the crowd, hoping to catch his face. Then again, after the Akatsuki attack in Konoha, the only person Beki wanted to see afterwards was Neji. "So, what would you say that is? Do I just have a crush on him?" Beki asked, trying to hide the mounting anxiety inside her.

"I think you liked Gaara. I think you liked the idea of him, the memories you shared, the growing up you got to do together," Yuki leaned in closer. "But he kept hurting you. You kept guilting yourself into staying with him because you liked him as a person and he needed you. But you were giving so much more than you were getting. Although he loved you, it wasn't enough. He wasn't enough, his kind of love wasn't what you needed. That's why you walked away. How have you felt since you left?"

"We really did have some good times together. I felt guilty about that and because he isn't technically doing anything wrong, like cheating on me or hitting me." Beki explained. "I felt selfish, too, for leaving him because his job kept getting in the way. But mostly, it's been anger. I've been angry with myself for letting it go on so long, for not saying anything sooner, for guilting myself into staying with someone that most of the time probably forgot I existed."

Yuki listened patiently until her daughter finished. "And how have you felt about Neji lately?"

Beki cast Yuki a suspicious look. "What rabbit hole are you leading me down?"

"The path of self-discovery," Yuki waved her along. "Humor me here. I think you're going to have a breakthrough."

"I thought you were a priestess, not a shrink." Beki stuck out her tongue and Yuki's clone touched it. Beki cried in disbelief and spit. "Ew!"

"What did you think was going to happen?" Yuki gave her a self-satisfied grin. "You left it open."

Beki rolled her eyes and sighed. "Neji was always really warm and helpful towards me but then he...well, things got weird for a while. That stuff with Ren, and then he was avoiding me, and now he's talking to me again like nothing happened. He said it was because I'm going to go back to Getsu and he's really going to miss me. Neji said that by pulling back, he was trying to soften the blow of losing me."

"Aaand that makes you feel how?" Yuki batted her eyes at Beki, who ignored her.

"Neji is such a smart guy. Avoiding me because he's going to miss me eventually sounds like something a stupid person would do." Beki shook her head. "I didn't feel like he was lying to me as he was explaining it, but the story just doesn't add up. Does that make sense?"

Yuki nodded but didn't add anything. Beki waited for her mother to speak but after several agonizing moments she decided to fill the silence herself. "I mean, we have done everything together. I run errands with him, train with his squad, sat with him at every game night-"

"Told him all your secrets, shared all your stories, supported each other through every crisis," Yuki smiled knowingly.

"What's that face?" Beki furrowed her brow.

"What do you think?" Yuki laughed. "Sounds to me like you're in love with him. Not that carnal, I-just-want-your-body kind of way. He's your friend, your partner. Your soulmate."

Beki stared up at the sky, her mother's words rattling around in her head. As she sat there chewing on the idea, Yuki walked over and plopped down beside Beki, dispelling the clone with a snap. "Think about it this way, Beks. What would you do if you lost Neji? Cold turkey, right now you can never see him again."

"I...I don't know what I would do." Beki shook her head, the confusion so thick on her face it was almost painful.

"How about if he started seeing someone else? Seriously dating them, and then they got married and had a baby-" Yuki started.

"Stop!" Beki threw her hands over her eyes. "Okay! You've made your point! I would be horrifically jealous and downright morose." When she thought Neji was with Ren, it was jealously, pure ugly green jealousy. She had hated herself for hating her best friend because Beki thought Ren was trying to take Neji away from her. The realization made her sick, the same way Gaara bringing her ice cream had made her sick. It had been all wrong, and with Neji it had been completely right.

Beki's heart was racing. It was terrible, all those feelings bubbling to the surface and demanding to be acknowledged once and for all. It was true, all so terribly true that she loved him. Worse yet, the further back she looked, the longer Beki realized she had been in love with him. When Beki had been sad at the festival, Neji showing up had made one of the worst days of her life so much better. The day her dad died, Neji was the one who came to her rescue. He had carried her out of the darkness as gently as he would have a newborn baby. After that, when Beki was emotionally unstable and didn't have full control of her Burned Maiden powers, Neji held her tight when she thought was going to lose control and blow up. It had worked. Time and time again, when Neji came to help her, it worked.

Maybe it was losing her dad that made her so unwilling to realize her feelings for Neji and to give her heart away completely. It would be too much to love and trust with such depth and so exhaustively that if something ever happened to him, it would ruin her. If Beki let herself admit it and caved into her heart's guidance, Beki would be vulnerable again. It had been safer staying with Gaara because it never went anywhere. He hurt her all the time in little ways but since her father died, Beki had built somewhat of a protective skin against him. This, though, this new love she was facing was going to open her to a whole new world of possible pain. "I can't. I can't do it, Yuki. I can't give someone that kind of power over me. Not after how long I've made a moron of myself with the Kazekage-"

Yuki groaned. "Stop it. Stop with your whole tragic attitude and trying to protect yourself from shit you should be running towards. This kind of love is the best thing that can happen to a person. You're lucky you even have a shot at finding your soulmate." She reached over and took Beki's hand. "Listen, sweetheart. You are going to look back and wonder why the hell you didn't do this sooner. If you two take care of each other the way you do now, there isn't a whole lot more a person can ask for in life."

"Is that why you're always with Kakashi? Because he takes care of you?" Beki gave her mother the side eye and felt Yuki tense.

"We aren't talking about me today." Yuki laughed uncomfortably. "That's a whole set of issues for another volume."

"If I have to bare my soul, so do you!" Beki shoulder bumped her. "So, do you like the old man or not?!"

"No!" Yuki looked like she was experiencing physical pain. "Yes! I actually really do! And I'm supposed to be an unfeeling sociopath, Beki! Your dad was a fluke and I only love you because I'm an egotistical maniac and half of you is me. But Kakashi has this way of getting under my skin...he can figure out exactly what I'm thinking. And he's so damn respectful it drives me nuts! I try to seduce him but he just looks me in the eye, no matter how little I'm wearing. If I make a sexy comment, his response is always so gentlemanly!"

"I'm going to need an example," Beki suppressed a smile. It was refreshing seeing Yuki in distress for a change.

"Well, I'll be like, 'Do me' as a joke and he'll be like 'Let me take you to dinner first'." Yuki shook her head. "What do you say to that?!"

Beki laughed. "He's got you in a box."

"I know!" Yuki slammed her fist into the dirt. "He's always so cool and collected. I could almost write him off as boring, but then he has this secret dorky side that is ridiculously cute when you consider the body count he's trailing around."

"What is it with you and body count?" Beki sighed.

Yuki shook her head. "Look, the only logical conclusion I can come to on why that man is so perfect is because he was made in a lab."

Beki laughed. "What?!"

"Hear me out," Yuki held up her hands. "There's been one mad scientist from that village. Why wouldn't there have been more? He's clearly a Konoha government secret experiment meant to leave the most stalwart of women weak kneed and stupid."

"Government experiment or not, if I have to confess to Neji, you have to confess to Kakashi." Beki stood and clapped the dust off her hands. "That's the only way this is going to happen."

"Uh uh," Yuki shook her head. "You don't turn my own game around on me."

Beki shrugged. "Then I guess we're going to be miserable and alone together."

"Fine, dammit." Yuki groaned and stood up. "I swear, though, if this goes wrong I'm out. I'll go live in the wilderness."

Beki rolled her eyes. "Whatever, drama queen. When do we do this? I can't take any more waiting. I'm ready to do this as soon as we get back."

Yuki's eyes widened. "No! I agreed to confess. You can't impose a time restriction now!"

"If we don't do this soon, we're both going to weasel our way out with excuses." Beki slammed her fist into her palm. "When we get back, let's feel things out. Give it what, a week? At the end of said week, if either of us has chickened out we need to do something horrifyingly humiliating."

"We have to hang our underwear from the flagpole on top of the Hokage's mansion." Yuki folded her arms.

A chill went down Beki's spine. The image of her crying in front of the mansion popped into Beki's head, everyone laughing at her as she hoisted her teddy bear undies up the flagpole. "That's perfect. It's awful enough that rejection would be less embarrassing."

Yuki scratched her chin. "I'd have to do my bra, then. I could deal if it was just my underwear."

"Why your bra?" Beki gave her a confused look.

"Because a good bra is hard for me to find. It would be a true loss." Yuki sighed. "Curse you for making me do this."

Beki gave her a wicked smile. "Isn't that what we're supposed to do? Push each other?"

Yuki gave a frustrated sigh and held her arms out towards the road. "Well then, cupcake, after you."

Needless to say, I think its pretty obvious I'm not writing Neji out of the story. Since a lot of development happened here, I'll be really interested to know what you guys think. I want you all to know I hear you when you message me but I had all this planned out. I wanted things to make sense from a story perspective rather than to fully cater to people's requests. I have to keep the character's personalities, experiences, and perspective in mind when I'm writing. As always, I hope you all enjoyed this installment of ToTM.