Hi everyone, we have another long one here. Just as a reminder, I don't have a consistent posting schedule. I try for once a week or every other week, but with my work/family/etc situations that pop up there can be hiatuses of about four weeks (my longest was six, I think). During these periods I'm still writing content in bulk for editing/posting later. That's why we've had such a fast posting schedule the last few weeks: I had about forty pages of content ready for editing and posting. This is the tail end of that bulk writing, folks, so you can almost be guaranteed a slower schedule for a while. Another side note I would like to throw in here is this is not primarily a NaruxHina story. NaruxHina is the canon of my story and they have their moments, but Love, Hinata is where you need to go if you're looking for their relationship. I really don't have time to work on it here with what I'm trying to do with my story. That being said, I hope you guys enjoy the chapter and I look forward to hearing your thoughts!

It wasn't long after sunset that Yuki and Beki passed through the gates of Konoha. The whole trip back had felt like the world righting itself: they had gone from barren desert to rich, dense forests full of the fiery colors of an early fall. The leaves crunching underfoot had a spicy smell, sharp and tart like cinnamon. There was moisture in the air and the temperature dropped cool enough to make Beki's nose run. Yuki's energy levels perked up quite a bit during the journey, making her more pleasant company all around. Konoha wasn't Getsu, but it was enough to feel like home when Beki saw it.

Yuki offered to walk Beki to the Hyuga compound but she turned her down. Beki knew that Yuki needed a break. For all the time Beki had spent with Gaara in Suna, Yuki had been stuck keeping herself busy in the meantime. When Beki did eventually reach the gates of The Hyuga compound, she found herself torn. What should she do if she saw Neji? Part of her wanted to get the whole thing over with. Now that she'd finally made up her mind and stopped being a damn fool, Beki just really wanted to tell him. If he liked her back, cool. If not...well, with how many bridges she was burning this week, it might not be a bad idea to put in for that final transfer back to Getsu. Then again, the idea of confronting Neji now that she knew she loved him was terrifying. Would she even be able to bring herself to say all the things she had been pouring over in her mind over and over again, or would she choke?

Beki had been through a lot in the last week and a half. She decided if she saw Neji, she would be friendly but would keep her revelations to herself for now. What Beki really wanted was to take a shower, wash her clothes, and start in on the paperwork that had inevitably piled up in her absence. Luckily, Neji was nowhere to be found. The last few hundred meters to Hinata's house were empty. For once, Beki didn't have to worry about stripping down or dumping off her armor for cleaning on the patio. She unlocked the door and walked inside.

The kitchen was empty but smelled like a meal had been recently cooked there. It was a hearty, savory scent that made Beki's stomach growl. She patted her monster belly and shushed it; if she knew Hinata, there were sure to be enough leftovers to sate the beast. After she'd taken off her shoes, Beki threw her duffle bag by the washer and opened the fridge.

Soft footfalls on the stairs caught her attention. Beki leaned around the open door to see Naruto peeking at her around the corner. "Oh, hey Beki. Didn't think you'd be back so soon."

Beki shrugged. "Something came up."

Naruto scratched the back of his head. "Kage stuff?"

"There's a kage summit, I guess." Beki said as she went back to fishing in the fridge, feeling each tupperware to see what was warm. "I had to leave so he could prepare."

"Tough break, Beki," Naruto gave her a sympathetic pout. "When are you guys going to get together again, or did you not have time to work that out?"

Beki shook her head as she pulled out the container full of fragrant soup. "We aren't going to meet up again."

Naruto twisted his face in thought. "Oh. So, you guys are just putting a pin in it till an opportunity comes up?"

"No, Naruto, Gaara and I broke up." Beki sighed as she closed the fridge. She pulled a bowl out of the cupboard and started spooning soup into it. "This was our last shot to work things out and it fell on its face. End of story."

Naruto cocked his head. "Was that your idea or Gaara's?"

"It was mine." Beki put the soup in the microwave with a paper towel to stop splatters and started it for a minute. The whirr of the machine drowning out some of the conversation.

"Beki, you can't dump Gaara like that." Naruto raised his hands. "I know he's probably the most awkward guy I've ever met but he has a heart of gold. You should hear him talk about you. The man thinks you're an angel."

"It doesn't matter what he thinks of me. What matters is how he treats me." Beki explained. "For the last year or so, our relationship has been circling the drain. This trip was just the thing that finally cut the cord."

"So now you guys just have to work together like none of this happened?" Naruto furrowed his brows in confusion. "I can tell you right now that isn't going to work. He's in love with you. He's going to fight to save this."

"That's why I'm putting in a formal request to no longer serve as ambassador to Suna. I'll keep my assignment in Konoha, probably have to trade Ishida for the Mist. You know what, that would probably make him really happy. The Mizukage always wanted to get her talons in dad and probably has been giving Ishida a hard time for being...well, Ishida." Beki shook her head. "That's something else for me to work out."

Naruto frowned. "So, just like that, you're throwing away your whole relationship with him? You aren't going to even be his friend anymore?!"

"People can't stay friends after a breakup like this, Naruto. I don't ever want to see him again because, like you said, Gaara doesn't know how to take no for an answer." She shot Naruto a dirty look. "I wonder who he learned that from?"

"You can't just give up on your friends, Beki…" Naruto half growled.

For the first time since she met him, Naruto looked angry. Beki had never noticed the sharpness to his teeth before, or was that new? There was a strange sensation creeping across Beki's skin. It was like a tiny electric current, inching up her arm, across her back, and down her legs. Her hair was standing on end. Danger. Beki's body was sensing danger. Looking at the intensity of those blue eyes, the determined set of his mouth, Naruto was a force to be reckoned with. A person couldn't really be blamed for caving under that kind of pressure, but a Tsukimori held the line.

"I'm not a quitter. My time is just too valuable to be wasted." Beki folded her arms and stared him down. "Gaara should be with a girl from Suna, someone who knows and understands what she's getting herself into being with a Kage. I thought I was ready for that, but I was wrong. I kick myself for it all the time because now I've screwed up a relationship with a kage, which plenty of people tried to warn me against but I was too lovestruck to listen. Now that could be permanent stain on my career. That's something I just have to live with-"

"But what about love, Beki? Don't you love him? Gaara loves you. There isn't a question about that," Naruto forced out with exasperation. "Some people live and die without ever feeling loved. What makes you so special that you think that you can just throw that away and break people's hearts?!"

"Because I'm grown up enough to recognize that love isn't enough!" Beki's voice raised ever so slightly. She felt her skin grow hot, noticed the slight glow coming off her skin as it reflected off the counters and appliances. Naruto's frown deepened and Beki could swear his face looked more animal-like than before. "Gaara doesn't need me to just love him. He needs patience and understanding. He needs someone that is going to be able to dedicate their entire life to thinking about his struggles and his needs and putting them before their own. Someone who is going to be willing to have and raise his kids all by themselves in the face of constant public ridicule. That isn't me, Naruto. I can't give him that. I busted my ass trying but I couldn't be that person."

"So you're just copping out and saying you're selfish, excusing your way out of responsibility on some character flaw." Naruto retorted. "You aren't perfect. No one is. If you just admit to yourself what you need to work on and work on it every day, eventually it gets better and-"

"So what about my needs, Naruto?" Beki put a hand on her hip and supported herself by placing the other on the counter. "What about how I've never really had a home, constantly had to man up and take all the pot shots people have aimed at me my whole life with gritted teeth? The way people tried to manipulate me, threatened me to get to my father? How much it hurt every time my dad had to leave me behind, how much of a normal childhood I missed out on because he had to drag me along? Is it so wrong for me to see a life with Gaara as worse than where I started, to see all that pain I've been going through my whole life and saying 'no more'." Beki watched Naruto's expression as she spoke. The anger was still there, but bless him, he was listening. As scary as he was Beki had to appreciate that about Naruto. Even when he was mad, he could be reasoned with. "Gaara had a shit childhood, so did you. In my own way, so did I. I want a home, Naruto. I want a friend, a partner, someone who doesn't have to ask me to stand on my own. Someone that isn't such a public figure that I can never relax or be myself in public. I need to be taken care of, Naruto. The way that you and Hinata take care of each other. Gaara can never give me that. So that means if I can't give Gaara what he needs and he can't give me what I need, we're keeping each other from the people who can."

Naruto's expression had softened but he was still angry with her. Beki could take it. As much as she liked and respected Naruto, his opinion of her wasn't going to shove her in a direction she didn't want to go. Stubbornness could be a double edged sword like that. Beki had made wrong decisions about Gaara for a long time but now that she'd fixed it, the devil himself couldn't force her back. Even if the devil was her friend.

"I don't agree with you." Naruto folded his arms, his gaze never wavering. "I hear what you're saying but I still think you're wrong. I think that if two people really care about each other and they want to fix things, they can make things work."

"Naruto, if you break a dish and glue it back together over and over again, it might still work as a plate for a while, but it isn't pretty. The pattern gets all mixed up and the shape warps. Eventually you start losing little bits and you either fill the whole with something else or use more glue. In relationships, that glue or filling are things like drinking, turning to other people to satisfy what you aren't getting in your relationship, taking on a million jobs so you never have to be home. After a while, it isn't even a plate anymore and it serves no purpose."

"What's your solution then?" Naruto asked, his tone softening to a more quizzical one.

"I told you. You get a different plate." Beki folded her arms.

"I'll go with your plate…thing." Naruto gestured to the cabinet. "So that's what you do whenever there's a crack? You just get another plate? Is there an infinite number of plates you get to go through every time you run into a problem?"

"No." Beki shook her head. "You use plates, right? They get chipped and scratched up all the time. Chips and scratches, even a minor break can be fixed. The problems Gaara and I had were shattering drops. You and Hinata just have scratches, I don't even think you guys have chips. Maybe when you have kids you might, they complicate things. But even a chipped-up plate works."

Naruto shook his head and pressed his fingers to his temples. "It's your life, Beki. Just remember what you do with it can hurt the people around you."

"I get that he's your friend, Naruto. I don't want to make it sound like I hate Gaara's guts. I think he's a good person and an even better Kage." Beki explained, feeling some of the tension relax in her back. "We just weren't right for each other and the only way I think either of us is going to end up with what we need is for us to stop pretending we need each other."

"Just…" Naruto sighed and shook his head. "Maybe hold off on sending that letter about assigning yourself somewhere else. Even if...maybe if you guys aren't right for each other, Gaara doesn't have a lot of friends and I know you do care about him. He can use all the help he can get, Beki. Don't leave him out in the cold."

Beki nodded. "I'll see what I can do." He waved her off and headed back upstairs muttering to himself. Beki knew Naruto meant well. His fierce dedication to his friends was definitely a notch in the "good" category of character traits. Then again, though, such absolute devotion had a tendency of blinding people to the facts. And the fact was Beki would never be able to have a functional work relationship with Gaara. She restarted the microwave and pulled out her soup when it was done. Beki ate the soup standing up at the counter, washed the bowl and spoon and put them away. After pulling out her toiletries and a book, Beki dumped the contents of her duffle bag into the washer and started the load. She stood there, stewing over her emotions for a while as the washer filled with water. A thought took seed: the less Beki was reminded of him, the faster she could put Gaara behind her. With her duffle bag in hand, Beki headed upstairs to her room.

Lucky for her over the course of their relationship, Gaara hadn't given her much. The biggest thing was the necklace, which she had left behind with him in Suna. Beki kept all of her correspondences with him in a shoebox, which Seiichiro would have had a heart attack over. Then again, she had no real office space to speak of and everyone she communicated with had their own shoe box. Ishida had two shoe boxes now and they were all meticulously organized. Beki took down Gaara's shoe box and started going through the letters one by one. The ones from before her appointment as ambassador went right on the floor. After that, Beki took out the personal letters and dumped those on the floor. The ones that contained professional correspondence regarding treaties and the like she opened up on her desk. One by one, Beki went through the letters and blacked out the intimate bits with a pen and then a black marker, effectively redacting their relationship from their letters. Once they had been gutted until they were completely professional, Beki packed them back up in their envelopes and put them back in the shoe box. Beki sat down at her writing desk and began her letter to Ishida. She used the standard opening her father had taught her but got stuck on the body. This wasn't going to be easy. Ishida was a diplomat through and through and Beki had made a massive faux pas. Not only had she had an intimate relationship with someone she worked with but now she needed to sever that completely. It would be dumping a ton of work on Ishida's lap, not only from a paperwork perspective but also with how much crap he would have to deal with from Gaara. Beki had single-handedly soured relations with a major ninja village because two years ago red hair and green puppy dog eyes had gotten her heart all fluttery. If he was going to have to do this, Beki at least owed Ishida the truth.

Ishida, I will completely understand if you're furious with me for what I am about to ask you. You can yell at me, you can dock my pay, you can even write a formal complaint. I will gladly accept whatever punishment you send my way so long as you find it in your heart to grant my request.

I have made a terrible mistake. It started when I was much younger, long before Dad died. I was here in Konoha, far from home, and lonely when I met the Kazekage. He was charming and kind, friendly and familiar because he had come from the same world I did. Our friendship grew into a romance that was established long before Yasahiro abducted my father. It was a relationship I should have ended the moment I was given my official seal. But I didn't.

It was a relationship that was full of equal amounts hope and problems. The quintessential teenage girl that I was, I thought that I could change him. I thought that by the sheer power of will and the strength of our love, we could beat the odds. You'll be pleased to know that my mother has already reamed me for being such a romantic fool and has completely driven home the point that love is not enough. This lesson I have learned the hard way, the details and journey of which I won't bore you with in print. The long and the short of it is that I loved him and I paid for it, dearly. More than once he asked me to marry him and every time I have turned him down. Now I've severed ties with him once and for all, for both of our benefit.

This kind of mistake has consequences. I'm not naive enough anymore to believe that things will just work themselves out. It was a larger measure of inaction than action that got me into this predicament and to get myself out of it will take the reverse. Unfortunately, that's where you come in. I need your help. I know I have done nothing to deserve it, since my father's passing you have constantly had to teach me, correct me, cover for my shortcomings, and stand up for me at court. Know that it is just as much a professional understanding of an unsaveable situation as it is a personal request when I ask you to take the assignment from Suna from me. I will take any other assignment. You can post me in the Mist, you can post me in the Snow, you could post me anywhere. Just please, Ishida, help me.

Once Beki had finished, she used her seal on hot wax to make it official and tossed the sealed letter on top of the others inside the shoebox. Beki wrapped the shoebox in brown parcel paper and addressed it to her mentor. She walked downstairs with the packed shoebox and the stack of rejected Gaara letters. Beki set the shoebox on the table, walked the reject letters to the fireplace, and took a lighter to them. The door opening in the kitchen caught her attention. Beki looked up and caught the surprised look on Hinata's face.

"Oh, Beki. I wasn't expecting you home so soon."

"The inevitable happened," Beki waved one of the letters before tossing it in the fire. "We gave it one last shot and the relationship crumbled under the weight."

Hinata set down her bag and took off her shoes. She glanced upstairs, as if hearing a voice call her name, but shook her head and joined Beki by the fire. "What's all this?"

"His love letters," Beki tossed another one in the blaze.

Hinata's eyes widened with horror and she started to snatch them up. "Beki, what are you thinking?!"

"What do you mean, 'what am I thinking'?" Beki furrowed her brow. "We're done, over, finished. The sooner I wipe this stuff out, the less I'll have to think about it. It's a whole recovery process, Hinata."

"But these were your memories," Hinata clutched them protectively. "Say what you will about the relationship failing now, but these made you happy. This was a chapter in your life that you're just trying to erase, like it never happened."

"People don't often get that opportunity. I have a shot so I'm taking it." Beki stared her down. "Hinata?"

"You don't have any favorites? Not a single one?" Hinata reluctantly handed them over. "Something funny, or a sweet reminder of when you were younger?"

Beki shook her head. "It all just makes me feel so…disappointed. I don't think I'm the kind of person that can separate events from the whole relationship. If I kept these, if I ever went back and read them, I think it would just bring back this sick feeling I have in my stomach."

Hinata folded her hands in her lap and looked into the fire, a small frown forming on her pretty face. "Beki…about breaking up with Gaara…how did it happen?"

Beki scratched the back of her head. "Well, it's a process that's been happening over a long period of time. The long distance thing, the communication problems…all of that. Then there was the whole hit and run stuff he was doing when I was around-"

"Did he do that again?" Hinata blinked. "Is that why you dumped him?"

Again, Beki shook her head. "No. I told him about that. He was actually supportive and made an effort not to manhandle me."

Hinata fidgeted with her fingers, trying to find a polite way to ask what was on her mind. "So then, Beki, how did it happen?"

"Something came up and he had to leave town." Beki ran her fingers through the hair at her crown, stopping before it got tangled in her braid. "Halfway living with him like that, realizing that all the good parts of the trip were so orchestrated…it made me realize it would never work. He doesn't really know me, Hinata. We've been dating three years and while I was with him, things kept popping up that made me understand that. Gaara could love me with all his heart but it would be like expecting a ten year old to know what a relationship needs to work. He just…he can't. No amount of explaining it will help him. He just needs to be with someone else. Someone who needs less than me."

"Please tell me you aren't breaking up with him because of his job, Beki." Hinata looked at her with a stern expression and Beki froze.

"Hinata…" Her eyes widened with understanding and a suspicious smile looked crossed her face. "No. Don't project your relationship with Naruto onto me."

"I'm not!" Hinata was getting flustered, Beki could tell by the rosy color coming into her cheeks. "I'm just saying I can understand how hard it can be, dealing with being away from someone and having your time together constantly intruded on. It just makes me wonder that maybe this is a relationship that's difficult now but the payout later will be worth it. You honestly believe that waiting things out with Gaara won't make you happy? Being married to him, seeing him every day, having his kids…that wouldn't bring you enough joy to make up for this sorrow?"

After a moment, Beki shook her head. "No, Hinata. I told myself those lies. That someday things would get better and I would be happy. I just…I wasn't happy. If I'm not happy now, when I'm young and I have nothing I'm tied to, there's no way I'll be happy with him later."

"What makes you so sure about that?" Hinata tucked some hair behind her ear. "Gaara was your first relationship, right? What are you comparing this to that you think you're so miserable now?"

Beki stared at the fire, an slightly guilty look tugging at her features. "There's someone else, Hinata."

Hinata let out a small gasp and looked at Beki like she'd transformed into a snake. "Beki!"

"It's not like that," Beki swatted at her. "I didn't cheat on Gaara. I would have to be mentally impaired to do something like that. Could you imagine? I'm brave but the guy used to pop people like balloons. You don't test the resolve of a man like that."

"Then what do you mean?" Hinata leaned in conspiratorially, a look of disapproval still plastered across her face.

Beki shook her head. "They don't even know I like them, okay? It's just…there's someone I'm always around that knows me well. They know how to make me happy and always make me a priority."

Hinata thought for a moment and the pair were deathly silent. Suddenly, Hinata paled and her expression soured until she looked absolutely crestfallen. "Beki…it's Naruto, isn't it? You've fallen in love with Naruto!"

Beki rolled her eyes and gagged. "Ew. Sorry Hinata but, no. First off, it would look like I was dating my brother, and second of all, not everyone finds his constant optimism charming. I would probably end up trying to knock his teeth out after a few ours of listening to him talk about how great everything was."

Hinata watched her carefully, checking for any signs of dishonesty. After a moment, Hinata was satisfied and finally exhaled. "Alright then." She rose, looking down sadly as she handed the letters back to Beki. "If you're sure."

Beki looked at the letters. A moment passed and Beki tossed them into the fireplace, taking the temptation they held with them. "I'll make a mistake a million times, Hinata, but once I've changed my mind I won't ever look back."

"That's your ninja way," Hinata said in a sing-song tone that drew a quizzical look from Beki. "Sorry. That's what Naruto always says after something like that."

"What the hell is a 'ninja way'?" Beki narrowed her eyes. "Some other weird Konoha thing, like that 'Will of Fire'?"

Hinata folded her arms. "Seeing as you were raised by some pretty non-traditional shinobi, I don't think you get to weigh in on this one."

"Okay, you're on. Next twenty foreign shinobi I run into, I'm going to ask what their 'ninja way' is and see if they have any idea what I'm talking about." Beki puffed up her cheeks. "My bet is less than half will have any clue what that is."

"If I win, you clean out the attic." Hinata tapped her chin. "If you win, I cook all your favorite foods for a week."

Beki nodded. "Deal."

Hinata headed upstairs and Beki clapped the soot off her hands. She picked up the package she was going to send to Getsu and headed out the door. Beki kept an eye out for Neji, half praying he would appear and half praying that he would stay away. This would be their defining moment but Beki had hardly spent any time figuring out what to say.

Hi Neji, there's something I need to talk to you about. No. That sounds like I'm going to ask him to do me a favor.

Neji, I love you. Crap, Beki. That's a little on the direct side.

Neji, everything that's happened in the last few months has made me realize something. I'm in love with you and I've been in love with you for a long time.

Beki grinned to herself. That's perfect! I can't start with that, though. I literally just got back from Suna and everyone knows. I'm going to have to be careful how I lead up to this. I really don't want Neji just to think he's a rebound.

Beki stewed over the best way to approach and felt her resolve crumbling. I can't. I can't do this. As she walked through town her legs grew heavier with each step. It had seemed so easy before, walking up to Neji and telling him those three simple words. She had stopped several times on the way, tempted to turn and run, but the thought of her underwear flapping majestically in the wind forced her along. Her hands were trembling so Beki shook them out, trying to dispel some of the anxiety.

"This isn't working," Beki mumbled under her breath. "I'm never going to make it at this rate."

She thought back to her father. Whenever Seiichiro's nerves were really raw, he would smoke a cigar. That won't work. Beki sighed. I'd be coughing too hard to talk to him. Not to mention that awful smell. She tugged at the ends of her braid. She hadn't seen Yuki nervous before, but her mother had mentioned taking a shot of "liquid courage" from time to time. Now that she had her answer, Beki ducked into the bar her father had taken her to once in a while. She'd had her first drink with him here; maybe the memory of his presence would help bolster her spirits.

The bartender stared her down for a moment. Once he recognized her, he gave Beki a nod. She took a seat at the bar.

"What'll it be, Miss? The house sake?" The bartender said as he reached for a cup.

"No," Beki shook her head. "Whiskey."

"I know being an ambassador must be stressful," The bartender chuckled as he grabbed a shot glass and filled it. "I didn't know it was whiskey stressful."

"Today was a doozy." Beki took the glass and threw it back, coughing as the liquid burned the back of her throat. The warmth trickled down her throat and into her stomach, the sourness as harsh as the heat. The bartender suppressed a chuckle. She could feel it slowly relaxing her muscles- or was it numbing her? Either way it was working. It wasn't enough though. "I need another one."

The bartender's eyes widened in surprise. He silently poured her another shot.

…

Neji had stopped by the aviary to send some mail for Hiashi and overheard one of the workers talking about Beki. She had just come by with a package for Getsu. She's home early, Neji thought, recalling Hinata's explanation of the trip to Suna. The knowledge that Beki was with Gaara, stirred that melancholy Neji had been fighting so hard against. There was nothing he wanted more than to skulk home, careful to avoid her to nurse his wounds. He had decided, though, that Neji Hyuga wasn't running anymore. It was that guilty feeling that was getting to Neji. As it ate away at him, he decided to try to go find Beki. If I'm meant to find her, I will, Neji bargained with his conscience. If not, then at least I made the effort. There was a measure of relief as he made his way through the final leg of his route. Beki wasn't in any of her usual spots, but he cast a glance in each business he passed just in case she decided to be adventurous for once. Neji made a double take as he passed a bar, startled to find his target seated at the counter inside. A bar? Neji's brow knit with concern. Since when does Beki go to bars? At first his instinct was to leave her be. Whatever business had drawn her to drink she probably needed some space to deal with. Then again the thought of her stumbling home drunk sounded too dangerous to allow. Neji sighed and opened the door, steeling himself for bad news.

"Heeey, Neji," Beki's face was flushed with drink. He looked at the glasses lined up at the bar and cautiously took a seat.

"Hey Beki," Neji looked her over. She was no worse for wear. It was odd she wasn't in her armor. He had grown so accustomed to it that seeing Beki in normal clothes was unsettling, almost like seeing her naked. Neji shook his head at the thought. He had seen her naked and didn't want that picture in his head now. "This is an odd place to find you."

Beki shook her head. "Not really. I needed some courage."

"Drinking doesn't give people courage, Beki. It just lets them make bad decisions at the speed of light-" Neji began.

"You're really good looking, you know that?" Beki rested her chin on her hand and surveyed him, affection plain on her face.

"Thanks?" Neji shrugged off the comment. It was clearly influenced by the whiskey thick on her breath.

"Seriously. You're prettier than most girls but still so manly. You're tall, dark, and handsome, Neji. Literally." Beki leaned back in her stool, almost tipping it. He stuck out a leg and steadied it until Beki put it back on all four legs. "It honestly isn't fair. Your skin is so nice, your hair is so pretty, and your eyes are gorgeous-"

"You sound like a serial killer, talking about me in parts," Neji sighed.

"You're a really good person, too." Beki tapped her empty glass on the counter. "You were always looking out for me, even when I first got here and I didn't know anybody." She laughed. "It's so bad that I almost expect you to bail me out of bad situations at this point. My mom was giving me crap about that earlier. She says I'm like a kid looking for their parent when it comes to you."

A strange feeling came over Neji. This whole time he had been dismissing Beki, the drink clearly having gone to her head. There was a sweet sincerity to her words, though, that made him doubt himself. When he thought about it, Beki was sounding more like herself than she had in a long time. He remembered the girl who had just moved to Konoha, her almost foolish level of trust in him and Hinata. Saying things she shouldn't have, opening up her vulnerabilities to them with no regrets. "What are you trying to say, Beki?"

Her eyes widened and she shook her head. "Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself. You know I broke up with Gaara, right?"

"No." Neji watched her suspiciously. "That's why you came back from Suna early, then?"

Beki nodded. "Yeah."

"Do you think you'll be able to work things out?" Neji knew the pair were on-again-off-again. It seemed strange to be having this conversation with him if they were on the rebound.

"No," Beki shook her head. "We're done. Completely done. There's been this...this problem. The whole time we've been together. It wasn't so important at first, you know, because, it like, it wasn't an issue. It was...well, it was…" She looked at Neji. "So let me ask you something, as a guy: what is wrong with a woman coming first?"

Neji felt the blood rushing to his cheeks. "E-excuse me?"

"I mean, it seems a little selfish, I know for me to make a big deal about this. I wanna feel like I matter. I wanna feel important. I don't think it's so much for me to come first once in while. I know he's all important and his job's important, but that shouldn't matter when we're alone."

Neji looked away. "Beki, I'm not comfortable talking about this with you." He couldn't believe it. It was bad enough being in the friendzone for so long but this showed him the depth he had been banished to. Beki was telling him all the gritty details of her intimate relations with Gaara?

Beki blinked, oblivious. "What's the problem? I thought we were cool."

"We are 'cool', Beki," Neji kept his eyes on the door. "That doesn't mean I'm okay talking about your sex life with Gaara."

Beki laughed a little too loudly. "No, Neji, you silly bear, you," She sloppily slapped at his arm. "I'm talking about being a priority over his job."

The flush in Neji's cheeks deepened with embarrassment. Of course he had assumed the worst.

Beki shook her head and laughed again. "No, that wasn't…" She looked at Neji again and sized him up, trying to keep some semblance of a filter on. "That wasn't so much of an issue as the constant getting benched for his job. Someone else can take that hit. I'm tired of feeling like I'm the side bitch."

"I know he broke up with you at least once over it." Neji rested on his elbow.

Beki waved down the bartender. "Get my friend a drink here. He's being a prude."

"Beki, no, I'm fine-" Neji held up a hand.

"Do you want to leave a lady drinking alone?" Beki exaggerated her raised eyebrow, her face mock scorning him to the extreme. "I thought you were a gentleman, Mr. Hyuga."

Neji sighed and took the drink the bartender gave him. "Cheers."

Beki clinked her glass against his and downed it.

Neji shook his head as he watched her. He followed suit and put the glass on the counter. Why does it have to be whiskey? He could feel the warmth of the drink spreading already. Neji was used to the occasional glass of wine but he hardly had occasion to drink liquor.

"Okay, now that you'll be a little less…" Beki gestured in his general direction. "Square, we can have this conversation for realsies."

"You just regress back to your preteen self when you drink, don't you?" Neji shook his head.

"And that's another shot." Beki waved the bartender over. As he poured the drink, Beki stared Neji down, daring him to turn away the drink.

Neji sighed as he took the shot. "There, happy?"

Beki nodded. "Okay. So. Where was I?"

"Gaara never put you first," Neji's voice was exasperated. The last thing he wanted to keep talking about was the Kazekage.

"Right. I was getting into the other reason why we broke up. You see, the thing I realized while I was out there was…" Beki rapped her knuckles on the counter. "I should probably stop drinking, huh?"

"Why?" Neji looked her over. "Are you going to be able to walk home?"

"With some help." Beki braced herself on the counter. "I think if I do another one I'll get carried out." She reached into her bag and fished out her wallet, promptly handing it over to Neji. "Do the math for me. I'll screw it up."

Neji sighed, counted the empty glasses and put the appropriate amount on the counter, then handed her back the wallet.

"See, this is what I'm talking about!" Beki snatched the wallet and shoved it in her bag.

"What are you talking about?" The tone in her voice made him think she was angry.

"See how you take care of me?! I could ask you to carry my purse home and you would do it!" Beki was getting choked up. Tears started to well in her eyes. "The only person who has ever taken care of me the way you have was my dad. And he's gone now and I'm all alone…" She began to sniffle as the tears overflowed, spilling down her cheeks.

And here comes the drunk crying. Neji stood and put an arm around her. "Come on, Beki, let's get you home."

Beki nodded and wiped her eyes on her sleeve as Neji led her out the door.

…

Yuki hopped up and down a few times and shook out her hands. When she stepped in to meet the king for the first time, Yuki hadn't been nervous. During missions where the threat level had been drastically underestimated and she was faced with at least a 10:1 enemy count, Yuki had just laughed. Even when faced with Orochimaru, Yuki had felt like the world was hers to shape. As she walked to the memorial to see Kakashi, however, her heart was racing so fast it was pounding in her ears. It was a strange feeling to be anxious. Yuki hated the feeling; the last time she had felt this way was when she was finally reunited with Beki. Before that, she couldn't remember the last time she'd been this jittery.

You can turn back now, a tiny unfamiliar voice whispered. Pretend this was all a joke. Laugh it off with Beki and act like it was all part of the plan to get her and the Hyuga boy together. Yuki shook her head. That would never work; Beki was getting to the point she could smell a lie on her mother. It would be better to get this over with so Kakashi could reject her and it would all be water under the bridge.

Besides, Yuki thought as she cupped her breasts in her hands. If I had to cough up my one good bra I'd be miserable.

Same as always, Kakashi was standing before the monument with a far off look on his face. In the fading light of the sunset, he almost looked like he was part of the memorial. A perfect figure carved in stone to outlast the wear of time. A soft breeze kicked up and his hair fluttered in the breeze, breaking the illusion. Yuki took a deep breath, centered herself, and made the final ascent to the memorial. He didn't seem to notice her yet, so Yuki opened her mouth to call out to him.

"Hey Yukihana," Kakashi spoke without turning his head. "I'm not used to seeing you outside a bar."

"I like the outdoors," Yuki threw up her hands and gestured to the clearing. "And this is, you know, the outdoors." She inhaled deeply. "Yeah. Gotta love that... forest air."

Kakashi gave her a suspicious look. "What are you up to?"

"I'm not up to anything. I was just, ahem," She waved her hand in the air as she searched for an excuse. "Looking for some peace and quiet."

Kakashi didn't look convinced. "You need peace and quiet away from Konoha? I don't think on it's busiest day it would be considered bustling by any stretch of the imagination."

"It's not that...it's just that this spot…reminds me of the shrine!" Yuki's many years as a pathological liar were finally kicking in. She had to remember to always use the truth as the basis of the lie or no one would ever buy it. She walked up next to him and looked at the memorial stone. "It's sacred ground. Time distorts in places like this."

"Like the waiting room in a hospital," Kakashi nodded. "Or when you're keeping watch late at night and everyone else is asleep."

"Or when the first snow of winter starts to fall," Yuki grinned. "You got it!"

Kakashi gave her a gentle shoulder bump. "It's a beautiful sentiment but it isn't why you're here."

"Why do you think I'm here?" Yuki tensed, the walls she'd spent so long building holding strong.

Kakashi sighed. "Yuki, I've been with a pack of teenagers all day. I don't have the time or patience to play games with you."

"I love you," Yuki blurted so suddenly it surprised her. She covered her mouth, feeling his eyes on her, but closed her eyes and continued. "And I hate you for it."

Yuki couldn't bring herself to open her eyes. If she saw how he was reacting it would derail her, force her to laugh it off and pretend it was just another joke. She clenched her fists. "I've told you everything about me worth knowing. My whole life people have treated me like I'm something other than human. Sometimes they act like I'm superior, sometimes they act like I'm an animal. I feel like you can empathize with that."

"Worse yet, you don't want anything from me. God knows I've given you plenty of opportunities to screw me over. I have honestly done my damndest to scare you off but you just keep sticking around." Yuki shook her head. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Excuse me?" Kakashi sounded confused. "Yuki, you're going to have to explain what you're trying to say here."

"I'm saying that I fell for you, dammit, because you're a perfect human being. I hate you for it, I hate myself for it-" Yuki felt Kakashi raising his arm to put it around her shoulder. "Don't touch me! I woke up in an ice floe to a dead husband who had been very much alive for me when I'd gone in. I feel like I'm betraying him. He stayed a widower for all those years and here I am, freshly widowed and ready to move on because of Mr. Perfect Hair over here."

There was a brief pause, wherein Kakashi raised his arm again to try to comfort her but she swatted his arm away. "No! I'm not done! You...you just...you're a legendary cutthroat shinobi who loves dogs. Do you know how confusing that is? Do you know how impossible it's been for me to build up a defense against you?"

Kakashi kept his hands folded in front of him. "I guess I didn't realize."

"So that's it. That's why I'm here, to tell you I'm in love with you. Jerk." Yuki folded her arms.

Now that she was done with her tirade, it felt as if all those strong emotions she had finally given a voice to had been swallowed by the memorial. There was an emptiness with the silence that followed, a vacuous thing that added to her unease.

"Well, go ahead," Yuki rotated her wrist. "Get on with it."

"I thought I wasn't allowed to touch you." Kakashi said as he cautiously put an arm around her shoulder.

Yuki looked up at him, a mixture of awe and revulsion on her face. "No! This is the part where you tell me off!"

Kakashi blinked. "Why would I do that?"

"Because I'm a sociopathic madwoman and I'm a jinx, that's why." Yuki shook her head. "Everyone who loves me ends up suffering."

Kakashi gave a soft laugh. "For such an intelligent woman, you're oblivious."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Yuki allowed his arm to stay around her shoulder but refused to relax into it, as warm and inviting as it was.

"That person you were describing, the sociopathic, dead-inside shinobi who feels like they're less than human? That's me." Kakashi gave a soft chuckle. "You on the other hand are the exact opposite. You aren't a shinobi, a true shinobi, Yuki. This is a job for you. You turn it on and turn it off. The rest of the time, you wear your heart on your sleeve. You're almost childlike in how strongly you express that you're happy, or sad, or angry."

Yuki heaved a sigh of relief. "Well, that works, too. Not what I was expecting, but I'll take it."

Kakashi gave her a questioning look.

"You're saying we aren't compatible." The tension in her body began to ebb. "Cool, we can go back to-"

"I'm not finished." Kakashi bopped the side of her head with his forehead. "What I was going to say is that all my favorite people have been like you. It's easy to get swept up along with you. That's refreshing for a person who has spent a large percentage of their life feeling nothing."

"No." Yuki looked up at him. "Don't say it."

"I love you, too." She could see the pull of his lips as he smiled behind the mask.

"Unacceptable!" Yuki ducked out from under his arm. "Today was a mistake. I'm just going to walk away and pretend this never happened-"

"Nope." Kakashi grabbed her arm and yanked her over, wrapping his arms around her and putting his chin on top of her head. "We're going to be a couple now. Get used to it."

Yuki wriggled, desperate to get away but his hold was expert level. "I'm just going to avoid you then."

"I can't wait to tell Pakkun. He is going to be so excited." Kakashi savored in her weak attempts to escape. "All the dogs are. That was one of your selling points really; the hounds all universally seem to like your company."

Yuki sputtered and let her arms hang uselessly beside her. "Fine. You win."

"I have to admit this has been the most interesting confession I've ever had." Kakashi chuckled. "I would've never expected someone to be so angry about me returning their feelings."

"We have to bang." Yuki glared out at the sunset. "That way I can at least live with myself after what happened today."

Kakashi shook his head. "Sorry. I don't put out on the first date."

"How is this the first date?!" Yuki started her struggling again. "We've been on at least, like five dates by now!"

"You're going to wear yourself out." Kakashi leaned his head to the side to avoid a headbutt. "This is our first official date as a couple. We have to take things slow."

"Can we at least go somewhere else?" Yuki heaved a frustrated sigh. "I'm spooky but a date at a war memorial is too much even for me."

"Fair enough." Kakashi let her go but took ahold of her hand with an iron grip. "Where to?"

Yuki laughed nervously. "The diner? I need to fill the hole my emotions left with food."

Kakashi let Yukihana lead. For a while, Kakashi had felt guilty about his relationship with Yuki. She had been such a strange combination of all the people he lost: Minato's skill, Obito's personality, Rin's single-minded determination. Even when Yuki went on her tirades about the evils of technology, Kakashi heard the echoes of his father in her words. Did he have a right with all the blood on his hands to try to reclaim this little bit of happiness? Or, wherever they were, did his loved ones send Yuki to him to comfort him, alone on this island that was the land of the living?

"So, Yuki," Kakashi gave her hand a squeeze. "You like my hair?"

"Yes, dammit," Yuki spat. "It's majestic and defies all the laws of physics, considering how it practically stands on end yet manages to stay impossibly soft. I have dreams about it all the time."

Kakashi wrapped and arm around her neck as they walked. Regardless of who sent her or why she was here, having Yuki sure beat skulking around alone all the time.

…

It was just after nightfall when Neji brought Beki staggering up the front steps of Hinata's porch. Beki fished into her pocket and pulled out her keys. She fumbled them, dropping them with a metallic clack on the deck. Neji began to lean over to pick them up but Beki had beat him to it, muttering a curse as she bent over to retrieve the keys. Without realizing it, or perhaps subconsciously to steady herself, Beki had bent over with her rear pressed against Neji's groin. His knee jerk reaction was to step backward to keep an appropriate amount of distance between them, but the moment he began to Beki swayed dangerously. Neji's hands shout out instantly and he took ahold of her hips. After a breathless moment of standing there, steadying her body against his, Beki rose with the right key. "I really need to like, cap this one or something."

Beki leaned against the door as she unlocked it. Neji lunged forward as she opened the door, catching her again before she face planted into the kitchen. While he held her up, Beki kicked off her shoes and stumbled forward, her hand tightly gripping his sleeve.

"You're home," Neji looked away. During the course of catching her, Beki's shirt had been tugged low on one side, exposing a milky breast in a surprisingly feminine warm gray colored bra. It was hard for Neji to ignore the delicate lace against her skin. Beki was drunk. She couldn't help herself right now, so it would be lewd of Neji to take advantage of her situation. "I should go-"

Before he could turn around, Beki had looped her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder. The motion had caught him off guard. Neji instinctively wrapped his arms around her to steady them both. Her body was warm and soft in his hands, the scent of whiskey mixing with her sweat and the scent of her lotion. Beki's hot breath on his neck was raising the hair on his neck, sending a shiver down his spine. "Carry me, Neji."

"You can sleep down here on the couch," He started to let go but Beki held him tighter, the telltale tug on his neck cuing him that she had kicked up her legs, expecting him to catch her. Neji had just enough time to let go of her back to catch Beki under her knees. He fumbled slightly as he adjusted his hold on her in the dark. With a resigned sigh, Neji carefully kicked off his shoes and headed upstairs. As he climbed the steps, Beki nuzzled into his neck and ran the tips of her nails gently up his cheek, across his temple, and up into his hair. Neji gulped, trying his hardest to block out the sensation creeping across his scalp. Beki had touched him hundreds of times. She'd held his hand, he'd carried her like this, she had even kissed him. Somehow this was fundamentally different. The way Beki was touching him was affectionate, intimate even, and Neji didn't know how to respond. As he opened the door to her room with one hand and the rest of her body braced against him, she said his name. It was soft, like a sigh, and again, he had never heard her say his name like that. No one had ever said his name like that. Unsure of what else to do, Neji set her down as soon as they crossed the threshold and turned to leave. But Beki was already there.

Beki backed up against the door slowly, carefully closing it with a click that sealed off Neji's only exit. Her eyes were sparkling despite the darkness.

"Beki, I need to go-" Neji began but she reached out and took his face in her hands. Neji felt the heat in his cheeks as he flushed at her touch. He knew he should stop it. It was easy to see exactly what was going to happen, but as Beki's face came close to his, Neji froze. As her lips met his, Neji knew he was letting it happen. This was something he had been waiting to happen, dreaming about, for longer than he could remember. Her lips were sweet, but her tongue was sour as it parted his teeth. Neji wanted nothing more than to take her face in his hands and make this kiss last forever. Instead, he kept his arms limp at his sides, his fists clenched. When she finally let him go, Neji was so tempted to pull her close again he clutched the hem of his shirt. "Beki, you're drunk. We shouldn't be doing this."

"I told you, Neji. I like you." Beki said as she fumbled with her shirt. "I reaaaaally like you."

Neji's breath caught in his throat at the sight of her bare torso. When Beki had pulled off her top, the bra had come with it. He swallowed hard, his eyes roving her hungrily, taking in every forbidden little detail. At any point, Neji could have used the Byakugan to see Beki naked, but he'd never allowed himself. It was private, something he'd only seen by accident, and so briefly he barely remembered. But here it was, presented to him on a silver platter. While he was stunned, Beki moved in and kissed him again, her fingers searching out the button on his shirt. Neji reached up and took ahold of her hands, stopping them in their search. "Beki," Neji was breathless, his heart pounding in his ears and his manhood straining against his pants. "This…this isn't right."

Beki looked up at him, confusion and hurt plain on her face. "Neji, I want you. I want you so bad right now I could cry. Are you…do you…you don't want me, do you?" As he searched for the words, Beki's hand dropped lower until it was too late for Neji to stop her. She felt his excitement and looked back up at him, stroking it slowly through his pants. "No, you want this, too." Beki's eyes met his, her cheeks flushed from the whiskey, and her hair messily falling into her face. "Then why are you turning me away?"

"I…" Neji could feel his resolve crumbling. Beki was so close he could practically taste her. He did still taste her on his lips, could feel the ghost of her hands on his face, his neck, his hard-on. He leaned in closer, despite himself, their foreheads gently touching. Neji tried to keep his hands at his sides but the call of her body was too strong. He caressed her sides, his hands resting on her hips. "I do want you. I just don't want it to be like this."

Beki hand opened his shirt and ran her hands up his chest, feeling the hard muscle and soft flesh beneath. "Like what?"

Neji had forgotten. He had forgotten everything outside this room, his entire life, all his principles. All that existed was the two of them in the dark with their bodies intertwined. He shook his head. "Nevermind." Neji leaned in and kissed her, long and hard. The pull was full of longing. He laced his fingers through her hair, pulling her close as Beki backed him up to the bed. His lips never left hers as he finished pulling off his shirt. Beki helped him with his belt as he kissed her neck, her shoulders, working his way down to her chest the whole time. Once the last of their clothes were off, the pair found their way under the sheets, where Beki whispered his name again and again until she couldn't say anything at all.