CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
The rest of the Christmas holidays were awful. Jane hardly spoke to her parents. She would take long walks up and down Longstock Road. She'd disappear to the River Test until nightfall. Other days, she just wouldn't come out of her room. She'd just sit on her bed and listen to her records. On occasion, she'd see Sarah walking down the street with Sean. She assumed they were dating now; they would always be holding hands. Jane also noticed that Sarah had dyed her hair back to blonde.
Jane always felt a twinge of guilt whenever she saw Sarah. Their friendship had ended because of her. She also felt guilty about her parents. They would fight almost every night now, either that, or they wouldn't talk to each other. She spent the whole of her holidays wanting to go back to Hogwarts.
So when the second of January came, Jane was more than happy to wake up exceptionally early to go to the station with her mum. She tried to board the train quickly, but her mother held her back.
"Janie, wait."
Jane sighed. She looked up to see James, Sirius, and Remus boarding the train. Remus had stopped when he spotted her. She looked away.
"I know your father and I have been disagreeing a lot lately. And I know you think that it's your fault, but—"
"Because it is," Jane said, staring at her feet.
"No, darling, it's not," her mother said.
"Mum, I've heard what you and Dad fight about. The walls are like paper in our house. I still can't believe you haven't figured that out," Jane said.
"You've heard everything we've fought about?" her mum asked in a semi-worried tone.
Jane looked up at her mother.
"I'm just going to go get on the train now."
"Janie, wait," her mum called after her, but it was no use; she was already getting on the train.
"What was that about?" Remus had asked as Jane passed him.
"Nothing," she lied; she didn't really feel like telling her friends about how she was slowly but surely tearing her family apart.
The whole ride back to Hogwarts, Jane just stared out of the window. No one seemed to notice, however. The boys were too busy reading a very large Transfiguration book. Jane only vaguely noted that it had something to do with Animagi, but she didn't ask. She knew that they were planning something, and whatever it was, was bound to fail miserably. Either that or get them into really big trouble. Besides, if they had wanted her to know, they would have told her, and it kind of hurt her feelings that they hadn't.
Later on, after they had arrived at Hogwarts, Jane decided to go up to bed early. She didn't feel like being around so many people who were constantly asking how her holidays had gone.
Oh, you know, Jane would think sarcastically to herself, same old thing. Just ruining my parents' marriage. How was your holiday?
Of course, she never said this out loud. Why let people know what an awful daughter she was?
After a while of just lying there and staring at the canopy of her bed, Alice busted through the door with Mary right behind her. Alice plopped down on Jane's bed and looked at her.
"What?" Jane asked, still staring at the canopy.
"Happy New Year to you too, arsehole," Alice said, but she was smiling.
Jane rolled her eyes.
"Happy New Year," she said.
"Your boyfriends are looking for you," Mary said.
It was an ongoing joke between Jane's roommates to call James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter Jane's "boyfriends." After all, she was with them all of the time, and it was much quicker to call them that than by their names.
"Tell them I'm asleep," Jane said.
"But you're not," Alice said. "You're never up to bed this early. What's wrong?"
"Nothing," Jane lied again.
"It's obviously something," Alice continued.
Jane sighed.
"I said it's nothing," she said, getting off her bed.
"Where are you going?" Mary asked.
"My boyfriends await my presence," she said jokingly before leaving the dorm.
Jane walked down to the common room and found the boys in their usual spot. Peter moved from her favourite spot on the couch, and Jane sat down.
"All right," Sirius said. "What's up with you?"
Jane put on a smile.
"Nothing. Why does everyone keep asking me that?"
"Probably because you have a terrible fake smile," James said. "Did something happen?"
Jane sighed. They weren't going to leave her alone until she gave them a reason.
"Yeah, over the Christmas break, Sarah and I got into it again," she lied.
"Oh," James said.
"Did you break her nose this time?" Sirius asked with a grin.
"If I say 'yes' will you leave me alone?" Jane asked.
"No," he said.
Jane just laughed and was thankful when James changed the conversation to Quidditch. Now that was a topic she could lose herself in. And before she knew it, she didn't feel terrible anymore. All she was thinking about was their upcoming match against Hufflepuff the following month.