Severus Snape stood on the doorstep of number 4 Privet Drive with Minerva, the Friday the school had broken for the holidays, still feeling emotionally overwrought from his daughter's breakdown the day before. She had slept through the night, clearly exhausted, not even flinching when he had moved her into his bed.
When she had woken that morning, she had silently hugged him where he sat on his transfigured sofa and left to pack, murmuring that she'd see him on Sunday night. He was now worried about how subdued she'd been and Minerva had been casting concerned looks at him all morning.
Petunia opened the door, her eyes going hard when she spotted him.
"Go away!" she hissed. "We don't want you here!"
"And yet here we are," he replied. "Let us in, Tuney, I'm sure you don't want to provide the neighbours with their mornings entertainment."
She glowered. "No. Go away!"
He smirked and raised his voice, "Mrs Dursely! I must insist that I speak to you about your nephew! You cannot keep ignoring the problems the boy has. I mean….."
"Get. In." Petunia hissed, cutting him off, her face turning red as she tried to contain her fury.
"What do you want, Severus?" she demanded bluntly, as he shut the door, refusing to move from the hall.
"May I introduce my colleague, Minerva McGonagall. Minerva, this is Mr Potter's Aunt, Petunia."
He smirked at Petunia as she glowered back.
"Might I suggest a seat, this conversation shall be rather longer than I had anticipated if we continue to glare at one another and you have a nephew to pick up, and I, a daughter. Time is not unlimited."
"You have a daughter?" she asked scathingly, still refusing to move.
"Hermione. She's delightful, bright little thing, reads between the lines well. Her best friend, if you would believe it, is Harry Potter." His smile was sinister as he continued, "You'd be amazed by the things she has told me about his home life, Tuney. Or perhaps….you would not."
Petunia paled. "So what? You're here as the father of the boy's best friend?"
"Oh did we not mention? Minerva and I are professors at Hogwarts. My daughter being Mr Potter's friend is merely a happy coincidence."
He heard Minerva stifle a laugh.
"Come through." Petunia relented reluctantly. "You'll need to be gone before Vernon gets home."
"Of course we will, I don't fancy Azkaban, '' Minerva muttered.
They seated themselves in a clinically floral livingroom. Could floral be clinical, Severus mused. He supposed it could given the vision surrounding him. Who the fuck matched chintz with garish floral wallpaper. And the doilies. Sweet Merlin, the doilies. What was the fucking point of them? And were they breeding? Surely they had to be breeding. No one chose that many of the things on purpose. He suppressed a shudder wondering if the woman doused the room in dettol on a regular basis to maintain its unique atmosphere.
"What do you want?" Petunia demanded, drawing his eyes back to her rather than the horrified sweep of the room they had been doing.
"You abuse your nephew." Severus responded bluntly, enjoying her wince.
"What has the boy been saying?"
"Potter? Nothing at all. The Messers Weasely however described a barred window, a locked door and a cat flap for minuscule amounts of food. And that is before we consider that his previous room was the cupboard under the fucking stairs."
Petunia had gone pale but she straightened her spine and glared at them.
"We didn't want him. Some man named Albus Dumbledore left him on our doorstep with a note. No warning. No permission given. He gave us no choice and no options. We considered dropping the boy in an orphanage but it was like he knew; we received threatening, talking notes."
"Yes, I can admit that Dumbledore overstepped, massively. That does not excuse you taking it out on the boy."
"He's a freak." She hissed.
Severus felt Minerva stiffen next to him.
"Enough, Tuney. Doesn't the vitriol get old?"
"We didn't want him." The woman repeated.
"We know." Severus sighed looking at her. "However, you're stuck with him. Or rather, he's stuck with you. You only need to survive a fortnight each year for the protections on your home to refuel, keeping the boy safe. After that we'll take him to stay with friends."
"You?" she sneered.
"Perhaps." he responded with a shrug. "As I said, Hermione is fond of the boy. Now in return for not calling in the police, during those two weeks you will be civil. There will be no locking the boy up and I bloody well expect him to be fed properly. Am I clear?"
"Or you'll what, Severus Snape? You've just admitted you need me to protect the boy. I'm hardly much use in a prison cell."
Severus snorted. "No." he said slowly. "However we don't actually need you. We need a link to his mothers blood. You have a son do you not?"
Petunia went grey. "You leave my Duddykins out of this!"
"Gladly." Severus responded with a shiver as Minerva whispered Duddykins disbelievingly at his side. "As long as you abide by my conditions. And Petunia, I will know if you don't."
"Fine." Petunia spat at him. "But two weeks and no more, Severus!"
He inclined his head. "You have my word."
"That was bloody awful." Minerva spoke when they reached the end of the garden. "How could Albus leave the boy there?"
"Because Albus believes he knows everything and every decision he makes is the right one." Severus answered sardonically. "We are but pawns."
Minerva looked at him sharply. "I'm beginning to think that you're right. Now are you going to tell me what has been wrong with you all morning or am I going to have to threaten you with my whiskey?"
Severus closed his eyes briefly as they reached a suitable apparition point. "Meet me in my rooms. Perhaps you'll have some insight." he said finally.
"Well?" Minerva asked once they were seated with a large glass of Severus' scotch, which saddened him slightly; it wasn't as good as Minerva's.
"Ella never wanted Hermione. She deliberately avoids mention of her according to Cissa. We had to prepare Hermione for that yesterday and I'm worried about her. She had a meltdown yesterday but this morning she was….quiet. Closed in. I don't know what to do."
"Never wanted her at all? Giving her up wasn't for her protection?"
Severus snorted, "Apparently not. Unless one counts protection from an uninterested mother."
"Why does she want to meet her now?"
"I don't know," he replied slowly.
"Then I suggest that is where you start. Reassure Hermione, she'll be ok, eventually. She has the Grangers, and Merlin help her, you. As long as you're patient, she'll get through this but I strongly suggest you meet Ella before you let her anywhere near Miss Granger. Find out what the woman wants and take it from there."
He nodded at her. "You'll help me hide the body won't you?"
She snorted, "Shall I go and get my shovel or will a transfigured one do?" she replied, quoting his words to her.
Severus smiled slightly. "Don't be absurd, we'll borrow Lucius' diamond encrusted ones." he replied, startling a laugh out of Minerva.
"I wouldn't be surprised if Lucius Malfoy did have diamond encrusted shovels." she snorted. "Ostentatious peacock that he is."
He apperated to a lane near Hermione's home feeling apprehensive. He had owled her parents while she was still on the train to warn them of her current mood; he was hoping the weekend with them had settled her slightly. Knocking on the door, he steeled himself for whatever was on the other side. Richard Granger's worried face met him, the man seeming to slump in relief at the sight of him.
"Thank god. We have no idea what to do with her, it's like she's playing a part, pretending it's all fine. Nothing we say makes a difference. She keeps insisting there's nothing wrong. Maybe you can get something out of her"
"Fuck." he muttered, stepping into the house. "I'll try. Perhaps not tonight, we have an entire day tomorrow. You are still willing to meet with the Malfoys tomorrow evening?"
Richard nodded, ushering him into the livingroom. "You'll stay for a cup of tea at least?"
"Of course," he replied, startled. He had been hoping to escape as soon as possible. Apparently not.
Jean Granger was eyeing him curiously. "When is she due to meet this woman?" she asked her voice hard.
"Wednesday. I am due to meet her Tuesday evening to see if I can determine her intentions."
She looked slightly surprised at that. "You're meeting her first?"
"I am no more pleased about her previous feelings towards Hermione than you are. I will not allow her to be hurt unnecessarily."
"I don't like this. If everything you said was true, why does she want to meet her now?"
"I have no idea, I have asked myself the same question. Hopefully, I shall find out when we meet."
The woman sighed. "Can she take her away?" she asked softly, the fear apparent on her face.
"I...fuck."
Jean paled further. "Severus?"
"What did Minerva explain about magical guardianship when Hermione entered our world?"
"I...what? Just that traditionally the Headmaster or Headmistress of Hogwarts holds magical guardianship over all muggleborns."
"Did she explain what that means?"
"No."
Oh bloody fuck. This wasn't a conversation he wanted to have, especially not now.
"I, forgive me, you should already know this. In our world you have no rights."
"None? She's our daughter!"
"I know. However, in the magical world, the magical guardian holds all the cards. Currently for Hermione that is Albus. Should I file the paperwork as we had discussed, that role will fall to me. With your permission, I would like to do that tomorrow. Ella could demand to be reinstated as her mother. However, and I truly cannot stress this enough, Ella has no rights to exclude me. Because of that, you will never be excluded from Hermione's life. I do not imagine Hermione would allow it even if Ella and I were to demand otherwise and quite frankly she has already proven herself capable of bending the rules to suit herself."
"I...this is insane." the woman whispered, looking at him in horror. "How can parents have no rights over their child?"
"Muggles cannot see, nor can they enter Hogwarts. The same can be said of St Mungo's, our hospital, which is why I believe things are as they are. Furthermore, we have treatments that mean nothing to you, you could not properly consent nor could you make suggestions purely because you could not understand the options. Apparently someone somewhere decided this was the easier option than providing muggle families with a means to be more involved. I can only apologise, however I meant it when i said I would never allow you to be excluded from Hermione's life."
He watched as Jean and Richard Granger shared a look, the silent conversation must have done something to put Jean at ease as her shoulders dropped.
"We're going to have to trust you, but I don't like this at all." she sighed, "You're asking for permission but if you went to your Ministry and filed this form, you'd be granted guardianship wouldn't you? Regardless of our wishes?"
Severus winced. "Yes."
"If you weren't her father but wanted to claim guardianship, could you?" Richard asked, his face pale.
Severus sighed. "I do not believe so. I think I would have to have a valid reason for wanting it and I want a child without having to deal with the baby stage so I'm adopting this muggleborn, isn't one. Our Ministry may not be the best, but even they are against the blatant kidnapping of children."
"I suppose that's some sort of relief. Does this form give you rights in our world?"
Severus hesitated, frowning. "I do not know. I do not believe so, however it is possible that I will be an equal guardian to you and Jean. I'll admit that I never thought to ask, I was more concerned about removing Hermione from the Headmaster's clutches."
"Why?"
"Albus makes decisions I am not always pleased with," he said carefully, "He is very good at seeing the big picture and forgetting that the people he is dealing with are real."
"The more I hear about your world, the more I question why we let Hermione go to this school!"
"You let her go because she is a witch, to deny her her magic would be barbaric. You admitted that she didn't fit in here, in our world, she has friends. I admit that there are elements of our world that are far from ideal, however there are also many positives. I appologise that currently, you are seeing none of that."
Jean sighed, placing a placating hand on her husband's arm.
"What time tomorrow?"
"I shall come to collect you at six thirty if that is alright?" Severus grasped the change in subject gratefully.
"Yes, of course. Are there any expectations we should be aware of?"
"I….no? The Malfoy's dress for dinner, however do not feel you have to follow suit, I've always felt it was a ridiculous practice."
Jean waved her hand, "I'm all for an excuse to dress up. Although I don't imagine Hermione has anything."
Severus rolled his eyes. "Narcissa has been filling her wardrobe ever since you agreed to let her stay. It is pointless trying to rein the woman in so I've ceased trying. I believe she is hoping for an excuse to take Hermione to Paris, so do not be too alarmed when she asks you to accompany them."
"Me?" Jean squeaked.
Severus smirked, "Cissa enjoys shopping, and Draco is happy for her to shop for him but does not wish to accompany her. I believe she is hoping Hermione might, she surmised, probably correctly, that if you join them Hermione is more likely to agree. It will allow you to see some of the better aspects of our world and if anything can entice Cissa into the muggle one, it will be fashion."
Jean laughed, "I shall look forward to that then. Now, shall we acquire Hermione, she was lost in a book the last I checked."
"I'll do it." Richard stood, walking to the stairs, leaning his head up them, "Hermione, your…..Father is here." Jean laughed at the look on his face. "That's bloody weird to say." he mumbled.
Hermione wandered slowly down the stairs, a bag in hand. "All packed, sweetheart?" Jean asked with a slightly strained smile.
Hermione quirked her lip into a half smile and nodded. Severus watched their interaction with interest. Hermione was still too pale, the dark circles under her eyes were pronounced and she had yet to utter a word.
He arched a brow at her, "Hello to you too, Hermione."
She blushed slightly as she mumbled "Hello, Father."
Rolling his eyes, he reached for her bag, pulling it onto his shoulder. "Have you side alonged before?"
She shook her head, moving to give her parents a hug. Richard held on tightly an unreadable expression on his face. She turned to Severus once he had released her.
"Are we leaving from here?"
"I thought that was probably best."
She nodded, "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then."
Jean smiled at her, "We'll see you at half six sweetheart."
"Take my arm, Hermione. We'll go on the count of three, so take a deep breath in and don't worry if you vomit on the other side. Most people do the first time."
She nodded but instead of taking his proffered arm, she wrapped her arms around his waist, he could feel the tension in her frame as he pulled her in tighter. "One, two, three…"
They landed in the hallway of Prince Hall, Hermione clinging to him, breathing in deeply as she fought the urge to vomit.
Once she had regained her equilibrium, he motioned to a door to the left. "Come this way."
Severus sat her down on the sofa in his livingroom. "Are you going to tell me how you're feeling or are we going to continue the charade you've been acting out for your parents?"
She flinched, biting her lip. "I'm fine, Father."
"Ah, the charade then."
She looked down at her knees, seeming to curl into herself.
"Hermione, I can't help if you don't tell me sweetheart." he said softly, moving to put an arm around her.
"I….I don't know what to say." she muttered. "How do you tell your parents you're grieving for a mother you made up in your head?"
"Exactly like that sweetheart. They'd understand."
"Would they? How could they possibly when I don't understand!"
He sighed, pulling her in closer, cursing Ella's name for the thousandth time.
"I knew there was a large possibility my biological mother didn't want me." she said softly, "How could I not? People don't tend to give up babies they want to keep. But I'd imagined a scared teenager or once I found out I was a witch, a woman who had had an affair or a pureblood who ended up pregnant by a muggle or muggleborn. I never imagined a scenario where she just wanted to get rid of me as quickly as possible because I was a threat to her being allowed to be free. And I don't think I hate her for that, no one should be forced to be a parent but it hurts. It ….just hurts so much more than I expected it to. I genuinely don't understand why she didn't just abort me. And if I feel guilty because I know mum and dad love me and it's selfish to want Ella to care too. And I see how they look when I mention her or you, it hurts them too and then I feel worse."
Severus' arm had tightened around her as the horror at the thought of Ella aborting this girl washed over him.
"Please. Please never ever suggest that she should have aborted you again."
She glanced up at him and winced at the look on his face.
"Sorry." she muttered.
He shook his head, pulling her into a proper hug. "Don't apologise, but please, Hermione, it's unthinkable, so please just don't."
"Ok, Father" she murmured softly, as she tightened her arms around him.
"You are allowed to be sad that she is not who you wanted her to be, Hermione. This year has been full of changes and to be honest, you have coped better than most. Stop being so hard on yourself, sweetheart. Your parents want to know these things, I understand you not wanting to hurt them, but Hermione, they're terrified they're losing you to our world as it is. I'm sure hearing about Ella and I does hurt, we were not something they ever expected to have to deal with, but it doesn't mean that they want you not to tell them what you're thinking."
"I hate seeing that look on their faces." she whispered.
"Oh Hermione. It is not your job to protect your parents, sweetheart. It is our job to protect you."
"But what if it all becomes too much?"
"Too much? I don't understand."
"What if they decide it's all too much trouble?" she asked, her voice small.
"What? You?" he asked incredulously as she burrowed closer to his side, hiding her face.
"They might," she whispered. "They wanted a normal kid and they got a witch and now they have complicated parents to deal with too."
"Oh Hermione. They love you sweetheart. They're never going to give you up." he murmured into her hair, feeling desperately out of his depth. "Would it be better if I stepped back slightly?" he asked, as his heart lodged itself in his throat, desperately hoping she'd say no.
Hermione's head flew up to look at him as she untangled herself quickly. "Is...is that what you want?" she stammered. "I mean you never seemed to like children and I've sort of just crashed into your life. I should have known, how could you possibly want to be dragged into this mess. I….I'm sorry. I...I can't apperate but maybe if I floo to Diagon Alley I can get the Knight bus."
She stood abrupt as he tried to process what the fuck had just happened. How did one person speak to fucking quickly? She was almost at the floo when realisation kicked in.
"Hermione! Stop!"
"I….no. It's ok really. You don't have to explain. I think I'd prefer it if you didn't actually. I….I'll just use your floo if that's ok? And then I'll be out of your hair."
"You'll do no such thing you idiot girl!" he snarled as he reached her, panic coursing through him. Her eyes went wide as she watched him warily. "Fucking hell. You need to breathe, Hermione. Just….please. Sit back down." He took several deep breaths, holding on to her arm lest she disappear while he tried to calm himself back down. Muttering a charm he locked the floo.
"Sit down!"
"Sir?" she asked, eyes wide as she moved and he winced.
"When did I stop being Father and return to being Sir?" he asked sardonically, trying to tamp down the hurt.
"I….I thought…." she trailed off, watching him.
"You thought?"
She shook her head looking back down at her knees. He closed his eyes, begging whatever deity was listening for guidance. He had expected his conversation with Cissa to shake her slightly, he had not anticipated her complete unraveling. Maybe he should have, but fucking hell this was insane. How did he convince her that she was loved when she seemed so damn determined that she couldn't possibly be? And if Jean and Richard hand't been able to get through her walls, how the fuck was he going to?
He took a deep breath, and sat beside her, pulling her bodily onto his lap, wrapping his arms around her. He had the fleeting thought that this would be a hell of a lot fucking easier if she were younger and therefore smaller.
"Hermione, I don't know what to say to convince you, sweetheart." he said softly "I didn't ask if you wanted me to step back because I want to. I asked because I wondered if you think it would make things easier if the situation with your parents is currently difficult. I told you three days ago that you are my entire world. Sweetheart, I wasn't joking. I might not have planned on children and you're not entirely wrong about me not particularly liking them. But you, Hermione, I love you. The only thing I regret is that I had no idea you existed for so long. I will never, ever regret you. I would give just about anything to be able to go back, knowing what I know now, and stop Ella sending you anywhere. Sweetheart please, I know that the situation is difficult but you need to believe that I love you, your parents love you. There is nothing you could ever do to change that, my girl. You will never, ever be too much trouble."
"Even when I have no control?" she whispered into his neck.
"Even when you have no control. You've dealt with the last year so well, sweetheart. I suppose you were due a meltdown."
"I don't like it. I don't like feeling like this, like I can't trust anything because she just didn't want me. I know I shouldn't let her decision affect everything but I don't know how to stop it."
"I dont have the answers, sweetheart. You're right though, her decision has no bearing on the other relationships in your life. And you don't know what she feels now."
"Do I have to meet her?"
"No. Not if you don't want to."
"Do I have to decide now?"
"You have right up until you're standing in front of her to decide, sweetheart."
"I'm sorry."
He sighed as he pulled her in tighter, wishing all of this was over. "Don't be. Sweetheart, don't ever be sorry for needing help to process things when you're struggling. It is quite literally my job."
"I still don't like it."
"My stubborn girl." he muttered fondly into her hair.
"Good morning." Severus peered at her over the rim of his coffee cup.
Hermione blinked up at him sleepily. "Morning."
"I trust you slept well?"
"You dosed me with dreamless sleep and that bed is like a cloud. What do you think?"
"I think that sleep does not improve your propensity towards cheek." he replied with an arch of an eyebrow. She smirked at him as he silently thanked the gods that she looked better than she had the day before.
"Now, if you agree I'd like to get that form to the Ministry today."
He watched as she stilled, glancing up at him warily. Fucking hell apparently she still wasn't entirely convinced he wasn't going anywhere.
"Hermione?"
"Are you sure?" she said softly, staring down into her teacup like it had all the answers. He snorted suddenly at the thought of Hermione and Sybil comparing tea leaves. Hermione would have the woman in tears in seconds. It occurred to him that he hadn't asked about her electives for the upcoming year, not that he could imagine her in Divination and she didn't need Muggle Studies, which only left Arithmancy, Runes and Care of Magical creatures. Surely she was taking Arithmancy and Runes? He silently resolved to ask once he'd sorted out whatever was going on in her head now.
"Am i sure about what?"
"It's permanent, isn't it?"
He rolled his eyes, "I'm led to believe that children are a lifelong commitment, yes."
She sighed as she looked up at him, clearly having some sort of internal battle before her shoulders slumped. "If you're sure." she said softly.
"I'm sure. Are you?"
"Yes!" she hesitated, making his heart rate skyrocket, "Will it change my name?"
"The form?"
"Uh-huh."
"No." he replied slowly, trying to judge what the fuck she wanted from this. This was fucking hard. "Why?"
He watched as she swallowed, hard. "Could it?"
Oh. Oh fucking hell. Richard and Jean were going to murder him. "I….yes, if you wanted it to."
She nodded slowly at her teacup, biting her lip. "Granger-Snape?"
He stared across the table at the girl who had upended his life and wondered yet again when he was going to stop feeling overwhelmed by her. Fuck, he felt like he couldn't fucking breathe.
"I...yes." he choked. "Yes, if you wanted it to be."
She glanced up at him then, her face registering his complete unravelling. She snorted a soft laugh as she moved to wrap her arms around him. "I'm glad it's not just me that keeps freaking out." she said softly. "You hide it better though."
He huffed out a laugh into her hair as he stroked her head, trying to calm himself back down. "I don't feel as if I'm hiding anything well at all." he replied wryly. "You seem to be seeing right through it."
She laughed slightly as she shrugged against him. "I didn't say well, I said better."
Cheeky child he thought, as she released him to return to her tea. He briefly wondered whether he'd ever have the upper hand again.
The look on the Ministry officials' face when they had turned up to hand in the guardianship form was one that would make him smile for a very long time, he thought as he readied himself for the evening's dinner. He fleetingly hoped that the Grangers wouldn't crucify him for allowing Hermione to add his name without consulting them. Maybe they just shouldn't tell them. Although he'd have to tell Minerva. She could tell Albus, it was probably in everyone's best interest for him not to be anywhere near the infuriating man until after he'd had a reasonable break to compose himself.
"Father?" he heard Hermione call, panic clear in her voice. Fuck, what was it? Adrenaline shot through him as he ran towards her room.
He found her wide eyed and pressed against the back of her dressing table chair, her knees drawn into her chest as a tiny house elf stood with her hands on her hips demanding Hermione behave and let her tackle her hair. He couldn't help it, he laughed. Hermione's head jerked towards him.
"I see you've met Lori." he said, attempting to rein in his mirth.
"Lori?"
"I bes telling yous, Young Mistress. Lori's bes your elf! Now lets Lori do your hair!"
"I'm sorry Hermione, I didn't think. The house has a small staffing of house elves. Lori is typically the nanny elf. I would suggest you do as she asks, on the rare occasions Mother spoke of her life here, she mentioned Lori's determination."
"She's a house elf? I don't understand."
"We will discuss it after dinner. For now, allow her to help you get ready."
She nodded slowly, uncurling herself. "Harry met one last summer. Dobby, I think his name was."
"Dobby? Are you sure?"
"Yes." she replied, looking at him in surprise. "Why?"
He waved her away, "It is of no consequence at present. Get ready. Everyone will be here shortly. You can thank your Aunt Cissa for your wardrobe."
She pulled an unimpressed face that made him laugh as he left her to Lori's mercy, pondering why Lucius' elf was visiting Harry Potter.
Pouring himself a scotch, he finished getting ready, steeling himself for the evening ahead.