A/N: Hey guys, sorry (as usual) for the slow updates! I'm in the middle of final exams right now so the next chapter might not be up for a few weeks, but I hope you like this update! Please don't forget to review :)
It was the middle of the afternoon and Henry and Emma were in the kitchen together. Henry was sitting on a stool at the counter with a half-eaten bowl of pasta in front of him. At this point he was mostly just half-heartedly mixing it around with his fork.
Emma was leaning on the other side of the counter, frowning as she watched him. His somber expression was such a contrast from how excited he had been just after the curse had broken that morning. Now he just seemed disheartened.
"You know that mac' and cheese isn't gonna eat itself." Emma said with a grin.
Henry looked up at her almost as if he had forgotten she was there.
"Yeah..." He responded distractedly, resting the fork against the side of the bowl.
"What's wrong?" Emma asked softly. "You worried about your mom?"
Henry pressed his lips together, nodding.
"I told you, I won't let anything happen to her again. You either. As long as I'm around I promise you'll both be safe."
"It's just... I don't know..."
"What?" She prompted gently.
"Everyone in town. I thought they were different. I thought they would be happy when the curse broke. I didn't know they would turn out to be so... I don't know... I just thought they would be the same people we always knew."
Emma's shoulders seemed to sag a little. "Yeah I know what you mean. But listen, I know they seem pretty scary right now but I'm sure this is all going to die down soon. And don't forget, we still have a lot of people on our side. Not everyone wants to see Regina suffer."
"But why can't they see that she's not going to hurt them? Killing her won't fix anything for them."
"And I agree with you but they seem to think it will solve their problems. They want revenge for what she did to them. They can't see what you and I see. They can't see that she's already suffering enough. Or maybe it's just that they're so blinded by their hate that they don't want to see it."
"I don't believe she's evil anymore..."
Emma gave him a small smile. "Me neither kid."
"They should just leave her alone."
Emma could practically feel her heart break at the tone in his voice.
She opened her mouth to reply, but both she and Henry both looked up as they heard light footsteps approaching the room. A few seconds later Regina entered the kitchen. The brunette had changed out of her pajamas, she had her arms crossed tightly around herself and her eyes still looked a little tired.
"Hey," Emma said, standing up straight again. "How are you feeling? Did you sleep well?"
Regina gave her a small smile as she went to stand beside Henry. "A little better, and yes I did. Thank you."
"Do you want something to eat? I could make you some toast or something."
"No, I'm fine thank you."
"Are you sure? You barely had anything at breakfast. Even if you're not hungry that doesn't mean you don't need food." Emma reminded her, already on her way to start preparing something.
"Emma you don't have to–"
"Seriously, it'll make you feel loads better."
Regina gave a soft sigh. "Sure, toast sounds fine." She consented, knowing from recent experience that it would be too exhausting to argue.
Emma smiled triumphantly to herself as she put two slices of bread into the toaster. She knew Regina probably would only want one but she remained optimistic. One of the side effects to Regina's illness was a lack of appetite, and so Emma had made it her responsibility to make sure Regina got enough to eat during the day. Some days proved more difficult than others since Regina, even now, could still be as stubborn as Emma.
"Do you want some salad?" Emma asked. "I made a big bowl earlier for all of us to share. I already had a bowl... well I had like half a bowl. I had macaroni... Anyways it's in the fridge if you want some of it. The salad I mean."
"Maybe I'll have a little bit later."
"You sure?"
Regina smiled, giving a small nod in response.
"Okaay." Emma said in a tone that suggested the other woman was missing out.
Regina wrapped an arm around Henry. "Did we have company earlier? I heard voices."
"Yeah..." Emma said, taking the butter and a few jars of jam bought from a local farm out of the fridge. "After the last of the mob finally left this morning I invited Granny and Ruby and everyone in for a while. I hope that's okay?"
"Oh... of course it is. They really were a big help today."
"Yeah tell me about it, I'm so glad they were here. We tried not to be too loud, I hope we didn't wake you?"
"No no it's fine." Regina said with a small wave of her hand. "I don't think you woke me. Besides, they deserved a break."
"Yeah that's for sure." Emma smiled gratefully.
"Was anyone hurt?"
"No, they're all fine."
"I still can't believe how long they stayed out there..." Regina said in disbelief.
"Well at least we know the whole town's not against you. I mean, sure maybe they're kinda mad you cursed them... but they don't want to see you die. This town's still got some decent people in it."
Regina nodded softly. There was a faint, appreciative smile on her lips. "And what about David and Mary Margaret? Are they still around here somewhere?"
"No, they went back to the loft. I think they wanted to have some time alone to talk things over."
Regina gave another small nod, looking down at Henry again.
The toaster popped and Emma retrieved the slices of bread, dropping them quickly onto a plate and placing it in front of Regina. "There you go!"
"Thank you." Regina said, taking the knife Emma now offered her.
She took a little butter from the dish, spreading it onto the first piece of toast and then she reached for the raspberry jam.
"Mm, that smells so good." Emma commented. "I think I might have some too."
"Oh, here you can have this one." Regina pushed the plate forwards a bit for Emma to take the second slice.
"No way, that's yours." Emma grinned. "I'll just make some more."
"Really, I'm fine with just one."
"Regina you've barely eaten all day. You need energy."
Regina sighed amiably, pulling the plate towards her again.
Henry shared a smile with her as she took a bite of her toast.
Emma was happy to see the ten year old pick up his fork again and continue eating his lunch as well.
When he had finished eating about ten minutes later, Henry got up from his stool but didn't move far from it. He simply stood there, looking at Regina a little uncertainly.
She held his gaze curiously for a few moments until he stepped forwards into her arms.
Her eyes softened as she wrapped her arms around him in return.
The embrace lingered for quite some time, until Henry let go first.
"What was that for?" She asked softly, running her fingers through his hair.
"I'm glad you're okay." Henry said. His voice was quiet but she was glad to see that he was smiling.
She returned his smile warmly, watching as he turned and left the kitchen to go up to his room.
However once Henry had left, Regina's smile faded and was soon replaced with a look of discomfort. She reached her right arm over her left shoulder and pressed her fingers against her back, wincing slightly as she did.
"Everything okay?" Emma asked.
"Hmm?" Regina asked, looking up at her. Immediately she brought her hand back in front of her again and folded her arms. "Oh yes, fine."
"Is your back hurting you again?"
"Only a little. It's nothing too serious."
"Are you sure?"
Regina nodded. But when she started to feel slightly scrutinised under Emma's stare, she began busying herself by gathering the lunch dishes.
"I'm going to go get the heating pad."
"No Emma don't worry about it."
"Well... I'll just grab it in case you decide you do need it."
"If you want to." Regina replied. "But it's not necessary."
Recently Regina had been suffering some pain due to the kidney damage, but it wasn't constant and only bothered her sometimes. However Emma suspected it sometimes hurt Regina more than she let on, and this afternoon appeared to be one of these days. Emma believed Regina's secrecy had something to do with her reluctance to start dialysis. She also believed that the brunette was in denial over how much she actually needed to start the treatment. But perhaps now that the curse had broken maybe Regina now believed she couldn't be helped.
"Alright, I'll be right back." Emma said as Regina remained turned away from her.
When Emma came downstairs about half an hour later, she frowned when she saw that the heating pad was still lying on the counter where she'd left it. Strangely, when the blonde stepped further into the kitchen she noticed that there was an emptied ice cube tray in the sink.
She wandered towards the living room and saw Regina adjusting what must have been a bag of ice wrapped in a tea towel in between her back and a sofa cushion.
"Nothing too serious huh?" Emma asked, folding her arms as she stood in the doorway.
Regina looked around at her with a slightly surprised, slightly annoyed look on her face.
"It's fine," she replied. "I think I just slept in a strange position that's all."
Emma stepped towards her, a little suspiciously. "You sure it doesn't have anything to do with what happened to you today?"
Regina sighed warily, ignoring the question.
Emma took a seat on the sofa beside her. "Regina seriously, it's obvious that you're in pain. Just tell me what's wrong."
Regina squared her shoulders. She shifted a little uncomfortably in her seat as she tried to move the ice into a better position.
"Is it something Whale did to you?" Emma tried again.
Regina pressed her lips together, choosing not to respond.
"Regina please, you know you can trust me."
The brunette studied Emma's expression, and after a few moments she gave a soft, defeated sigh. With some hesitation, Regina inched towards the edge of the couch. She placed the makeshift icepack down on the coffee table and turned away from Emma. She lifted the back of her shirt up and Emma gasped softly as she saw the darkening bruises on Regina's skin.
"Regina..." Emma breathed. Her fingers reached towards the other woman's back but she made sure not to touch her. "Did he do that?"
Regina nodded, already pulling her shirt back down to cover the injury. "I think it's from when he threw me against the wall. I suppose normally the bruises wouldn't have been this bad but–"
"Regina you have to get this looked at."
"And who would you suggest I go to? Doc the Dwarf?"
Emma shrugged. "I dunno." She said honestly. "But Regina this looks pretty bad."
Regina rubbed her back, wincing slightly as she did. "I really don't think it's anything too serious. It just feels like a surface wound."
"You can't know that for sure. What if there's some internal damage?"
"No, I'm sure it's fine. They're just bruises."
"Can I at least take a closer look? If something's been really hurt we need to get it seen to."
"Just... please leave it alone." Regina insisted, getting up.
"Regina," Emma called after her as the brunette hurried from the room.
Emma knew she could probably catch up with her easily, but she decided to give Regina a bit of space first. Regina had become much more open with Emma lately but there were still times when Emma knew it was better to just leave her alone. No matter how much Emma hated Regina's apparent stubbornness about trying to potentially save her own life, pushing Regina too far was never a good idea. Nothing diminished her energy like anger did.
After about fifteen minutes, Emma decided that enough time had passed for it to be safe to check on Regina. She headed upstairs towards the master bedroom.
The door was left ajar by about half a foot, and Emma cautiously pushed it fully open.
The brunette was sitting on the edge of her bed, she had her hands placed over her abdomen and her eyes were shut tight.
"Regina are you okay?" Emma asked worriedly, shutting the door behind her.
Regina's eyes fluttered open and her hands dropped onto the bed on either side of her.
"No I'm not." She said quietly.
Emma stepped closer, waiting for Regina to explain.
Regina looked up at her with a drained look in her eyes. "I've been trying to heal myself... But nothing's working. "
"Heal yourself... through magic?" Emma asked, still unused to the idea.
Regina gave her a look, as if the answer was the most obvious in the world. "I don't understand why I can't use it in this world!"
"Maybe it's because you're not strong enough right now." Emma said sympathetically, sitting down beside her. "But listen, don't worry about it. I know how much easier it would be if you could just use magic to cure yourself rather than having to go through surgery or dialysis, but either way you're gonna be okay. You don't have to be afraid, thousands of people go through this every year."
Regina shook her head slowly. "I was going to start the treatment within the next week. But there's no way Doctor Whale would do it now. You heard him, he loathes me. There's no way in hell I would put my life in his hands like that even if he did agree to still do the treatment. He wants me dead Emma."
"Oh..." Emma said. She'd almost forgotten that the man she'd found attacking Regina on the front porch and the town's basically only doctor were the same person. "Well, we can always take you back to Boston and get it done there. You can recover at my apartment."
Regina was shaking her head again, she seemed to withdraw into herself as she placed her hands over her abdomen again, trying desperately to heal herself.
"I'm tired of feeling so useless all the time. I have absolutely no energy and I need to be able to protect Henry. I can do this I know I can. I just need to concentrate."
"If you think magic can heal you then why didn't you ask Mother Superior to help when she was here?" Emma asked gently.
"She wouldn't help." Regina said bitterly.
"Why not?"
"She and I have a complicated history."
"But she saved Henry's life, and she did put a protection spell around the house to protect you." Emma pointed out.
"She did that for Henry. You don't understand, the Blue Fairy doesn't help people like me."
"She can't be all that bad. Hell... she was the Mother freaking Superior I'm sure she'd help you if you asked her."
Regina either chose not to respond, or was concentrating too hard to make the effort.
Emma sighed, watching as the brunette continually tried to heal herself. "Regina I don't think that's going to work. Listen, I'll help you take care of Henry. We'll get out of here, I'll make sure that they won't be able to find us in Boston. And if they do... well, Boston ain't Storybrooke. You can't just kill someone in the real world because you don't like them. Well, I mean sure you could but there would be consequences. They can't just be like: "I killed her because she's the Evil Queen", and everyone would buy that as a legit reason. The cops are good there. Oh hey, remember Jane and Maura? If the townspeople do find you in Boston and someone does end up, you know, killing you... Jane and Maura will track down the asshole who did it and that person will face a lifetime behind bars. And I swear Jane won't be kind when she brings them in, not when she knows you've left a ten year old son behind. But don't worry, it's never gonna come to that because I won't let anyone near you."
Regina's brow furrowed as she listened. "Is this supposed to make me feel better? Because it's really not working."
"I'm just saying we have options other than staying in Storybrooke. But don't worry I'll make sure we never make it to the Rizzoli & Isles stage of things. I'm a cop too remember. I have a gun and everything. Who needs Jane when you have me?"
"You do realise this Jane person is just a character right?"
"What?!" Emma asked, pretending to be offended in attempt to get Regina's mind off of things. "Jane is so a real person! She's totally real and she's somewhere in Boston and it's only a matter of time before I find her and become best buds with her. Don't ruin my dreams."
Regina heaved a sigh, pretending not to listen. She still kept pouring all of her strength into trying to make the healing spell work.
Emma folded her arms, sighing as she continued to watch Regina's useless attempts.
"Look, I don't know if you know this but your kidneys aren't in your stomach. You're trying to heal the wrong part of you."
"The last person I'd take magical advice from is you. I have years of experience, I know how to enact a simple healing spell."
Emma bit her lip, watching for a few more moments. "Regina come on, stop. You're going to wipe yourself out." She squeezed Regina's arm comfortingly.
However, when Emma's hand enclosed around her arm, Regina gasped in surprise.
Emma let go of Regina in shock, jumping to her feet in the process. She backed a few feet away from the queen. She had felt it too. It was almost as if an electric current had run through her, but it felt warmer somehow, much more pleasant.
"What the–how did–what the hell?!" Emma stuttered.
Regina's mouth was hanging open as she slowly lowered her hands to her lap, her wide eyes raised to meet Emma's. She glanced astonished at Emma's hand before looking back down at herself.
"Regina are you okay?! What the hell was that?"
Regina ran a hand across her abdomen, trying to determine the results of whatever had just happened. Next she reached for her lower back.
"Regina?" Emma asked, starting to worry.
Regina suddenly looked crestfallen. She wrapped her arms around her waist again, and once again she seemed to withdraw into herself.
"Regina seriously, what just happened?" Emma asked, kneeling down in front of her and feeling a panic start to build up inside herself.
The brunette slowly raised her head and Emma could see the tears in her eyes.
"I thought..." Regina whispered shakily. "I thought for a moment that..."
"What is it? Are you okay?"
Regina took in a shaky breath. "I thought that maybe I was..." She shook her head, swallowing bitterly. "But I'm not. Whatever just happened, that was magic. I'm sure of it. But I think you were right, I'm just not strong enough to use it."
Emma's heart sunk. "Oh Regina..." she said sympathetically.
She got up and sat down beside her again, wrapping a comforting arm around the brunette. Regina jumped at her touch, gasping softly as she turned her head towards Emma in surprise at the apparently unexpected action.
She didn't resist however, and so Emma didn't let go. In fact after the initial shock, she could feel Regina leaning sideways into her embrace.
"I'm sorry." Emma said softly after a few moments.
"Why are you sorry?"
"Because I– I don't know, I just wish I could do more to help."
"Emma...you've done more than enough."
"But that doesn't change the fact that you're still suffering."
Emma could feel Regina's soft, shaky sigh. "Maybe that's because this was always the way it was supposed to be."
"What do you mean?"
"The curse is broken. And once again I'm the villain. Maybe the only way this can end is if the Savior stops helping the Evil Queen. I don't think I was ever supposed to have a happy ending."
Emma shook her head. "I'm not buying that. I'm not letting you give up, and I am going to keep helping you whether you like it or not. I'm not stopping until I know that you're safe."
Regina looked up at her through damp eyelashes. "Why?" She whispered in disbelief.
"After all this time you're asking that question?" Emma asked, smiling softly. "I promised I'd look after you and Henry. I never thought I would say this but I care about you Regina. You've become a good friend."
Regina breathed a laugh. "Even though I sleep more than a cat?" She asked lightly, quoting what Emma had said a few weeks ago.
Emma nudged her softly. "Hey don't sell yourself short. I've never been able to talk to anyone like I've been able to talk to you. Well... besides Mary Margaret I guess but that's kind of all changed now... besides, I think you and I have more in common. I think you understand me more."
Regina looked down into her lap. Her arms were still wrapped around herself, but Emma's eyes softened when she saw the small smile on Regina's lips.
Soon Regina closed her eyes, her breathing was coming more steadily and there were no more tears blurring her vision.
Emma turned more towards Regina after seeing the other woman's smile disappear quickly. She wrapped her other arm around the brunette as well, and could feel Regina leaning more heavily into her arms.
"Emma I don't want to die. I always thought I wasn't afraid of it... but it wasn't until I... Well..."
"You don't have to say it." Emma said softly.
Regina closed her eyes briefly. A chill ran through her as she thought back to how close she had come to ending her own life. "I just can't bear the thought of never being able to see Henry grow up."
Emma felt her heart tug sadly at the words. She rubbed Regina's arm comfortingly as she continued to hold her.
"Hey... you're not going to die. Like I said, I'm going to make sure nothing happens to you. I promise Regina, you're safe. Everything's going to be fine."
Regina didn't respond, but Emma felt herself smile a little as Regina's arms wrapped around her in appreciation.
"Thank you for staying." Regina said.
"Don't mention it. After everything that's happened did you really think I would leave?" Emma pulled back a little in order to see Regina's face more easily.
Regina took in a deep, shaky breath as she tried to keep her emotions under control.
Emma's heart warmed as she saw the corners of Regina's mouth lift ever so slightly. "Now can I please take a look at those bruises? I just want to make sure it's nothing too serious."