"Well that was….fun." Hermione said faintly as they sat down in the livingroom much later.
Harry snorted, "Come on Hermione, you have to admit it was quite funny seeing Severus go all Professor Snape on someone else for a change."
Hermione gave a reluctant laugh, "A little."
"Are you alright, my girl?" he asked softly, noting the strain still present on her face.
Hermione shrugged. "I…not really? Do they all see girls as nothing more than an item to be sold to the highest bidder?"
Severus sighed, "A lot of them, yes. Hermione?" She looked up at him, "I will never sign a contract without your approval. I want you to be happy. I meant what I said, I couldn't care less if you wanted to marry a muggle. As long as you wait until you're at least fifty." he paused, "Fifty-five, to do it."
Hermione gave a real laugh that time. "You're ridiculous, Father."
He pouted, "I am utterly serious."
"I know." she replied with a fond smile, "Which only makes it funnier."
Severus rolled his eyes at her. "I fail to see the humour."
She smiled before drawing a deliberate breath, "Father?"
"Yes, Hermione?"
"I think I want to meet Lord Fawley."
He froze, that had been the last thing he had expected her to say.
"Are you sure, my girl?"
"Yes. I'm sure. Let's see what all the fuss is about." She smirked slightly, "Harry can be there, can't he?"
Severus choked on his drink. "Pardon?" he coughed.
"Harry. He can be there. I think of him as a brother, it would be strange not to have him at a family function, especially if you, Draco, Aunt Cissa and Uncle Lucius are all there."
Severus gaped at her before he slowly began to smile. Clever little witch.
"Of course, Hermione. If that is what you want."
"I do." she said firmly. "Father?"
He sighed, "Hermione?"
"Can I owl Susan and have her over at some point?"
He frowned, searching for some sort of tell on her face but she was utterly guileless.
"If you wish," he said slowly.
Hermione beamed at him, throwing her arms around his waist as she darted towards the door, throwing a, "Thanks Father!" over her shoulder. What had he missed? Potter had a funny smile on his face and was avoiding his eyes. That wasn't good. What the fuck were they up to? Why did Susan have to be owled right now? Fuck it, he was too tired to care. He could worry about it later, couldn't he?
"How are you after the delight that was today?" he asked as he sat down.
"Better than Hermione, I imagine, they were far more brutal to her."
Severus sighed, "Yes, they were. I have no idea why girls are held to a different standard and yet they are. As far as those society matrons are concerned, Hermione's, and therefore my, sole purpose is to ensure an advantageous match for her. It is absurd. As if she won't be far more intelligent than any man she ends up with!"
Harry snorted, "Good thing Theo's pretty clever then."
Severus scowled at the boy. "That is not funny."
"I'm not joking." Harry said softly. "I'm not saying there's no chance of her changing her mind but I don't know if you've noticed, she's pretty loyal once she's decided someone's worth her time. I don't see Theo being stupid enough to do anything jeopardise that, he really likes her."
Severus growled, "And if Voldemort comes back?" he asked caustically, not wanting to acknowledge the boy's points about Hermione's loyalty.
"Then I imagine Theo will have to choose." Harry said with a shrug.
"You say it like it's easy, Mr Potter." Severus sighed.
"Isn't it?"
Severus huffed out a laugh, "Mr Potter do you truly think everyone who followed him did so willingly?"
Harry frowned as if the question had never occurred to him. "No?" he ventured.
"Indeed. Families were threatened, sometimes directly in front of people. Children were kidnapped and held at ransom. People were tortured. He lured some in with charisma and promises he couldn't keep, but he kept us all there out of fear. He was ruthless and brutal and not someone I ever want to lay eyes on again, despite knowing that is a futile wish. So no, Mr Potter, it is nowhere near that easy."
"Well fuck." Harry said softly, startling a laugh out of Severus.
"Indeed, Mr Potter, indeed."
Severus found himself sitting alone in his livingroom,wondering when the weekends had gotten so long. Hermione and Harry were at the Grangers for the weekend, leaving him rattling around the house alone but for the company of Crookshanks. His orders were up to date, he had nothing to brew that was holding his attention. What the fuck had he done before Hermione? Surely he shouldn't be this pathetic. Perhaps Hermione and Narcissa were right and he needed a bloody hobby.
His brooding was interrupted by the sound of a voice shouting his name. Frowning he followed the noise, ending up in the floo in his study and meeting the concerned face of Minerva.
"There you are! What took you so long!"
Severus looked startled, "Was I expecting you?"
Minerva made an impatient noise in the back of her throat. "Stand back, I'm coming through."
He moved automatically/ly before he could second guess himself. What the fuck was going on?
"Hello Minerva." he said, raising his eyebrow at the witch as she stepped through his floo.
"None of that! Get me a drink and we'll have a chat."
He frowned before complying, leading the witch back down to the livingroom and pouring her a whisky.
"Are you going to explain now?" he asked, as he sat across from her.
"I spoke with Albus this morning, he's hired yet another Defence Professor."
"Seeing as the last one died, Minerva, that's not a huge surprise."
"He hired Remus Lupin."
Severus froze as that all too familiar jolt of fear shot through him at the mention of the other man.
"Pardon?" he hissed.
"He hired Remus Lupin." she repeated, "Severus, I am not unaware that I do not know the entire story but can you not let go of the childhood rivalry, my lad?"
Severus looked at her. "What are you aware of?"
"I am aware that none of them were kind to you." she began. "I do not believe however that I understand the extent of it."
"No." he replied softly. "I do not imagine you do. They always knew where I was, when I was alone. I was always four to one. The wolf and Petigrew didn't always lift their wands but they never stopped Potter or Black either," he paused wondering if he should tell her before deciding that it couldn't hurt, the more people truly on their guard with Black on the loose the better. "However, are you aware that Black lured me down to the shrieking shack on the full moon?"
Minerva paled. "What?"
"He lured me down one evening, where I met Lupin's alter ego, Potter stopped him doing anything and Albus gave Black a week's detention and threatened me with expulsion should I ever reveal Lupin's secret. So no, Minerva, I am not sure I can cast aside those childhood rivalries."
"Sweet mother of Merlin." Minerva breathed, as she drained her glass. "Severus, I had no idea!"
"I believe that was the point."
"He had no right to do that, my lad." Minerva said softly, making Severus snort.
"I believe Hermione said words to that effect not too long ago. However it does not change that that what he did do. Do not pretend that Albus was not aware of how often they put me in the hospital wing, Min. I know that Horace and Poppy reported it more than once."
"How often?" she asked her voice hard.
"At points, weekly, I learned quickly to heal all but the worst of it myself. I ran into them daily, sometimes it was designed to humiliate rather than hurt, but regardless it was often. I'm sure Poppy still has my records." he sighed, "The wolf apologised, after the incident at the shack and he never again lifted his wand but as i said earlier, he also did nothing to stop the others. It got worse after the incident with Lily at the end of fifth year. They did not want me near her but they also did not hold with me hurting her."
"Oh Severus." Minerva said softly, "I wish you'd told me."
"What could you have done, Min? Albus had made up his mind and we both know he would have gotten his way."
Minerva gazed at him sadly. "I still should have known." she said softly. "Are you going to be alright with him in the school?"
"I do not know. I cannot pretend that I want to see him and the thought of him anywhere near Hermione makes me want to vomit. However, he was decent at defence and the gods know that their instruction to date has been appalling."
Minerva looked at him and smiled slightly, "I cannot tell you how proud I am of you, Severus Snape."
He looked at her and frowned. What the fuck was she going on about? Had he missed part of the conversation?
"Pardon?"
"A year ago you would have gone storming into Albus' office ranting and raving. And knowing what I know now, I cannot say it wouldn't be justified. That girl has been better for you than I ever imagined she'd be, you're softer, more whole, less reactionary. But you, you've also been exactly what she needed. Shes come out of her shell, Severus. She has friends outside of Mr Potter and Mr Weasely. She has begun to allow others to answer questions in class. I know you were worried about her feeling like she had to prove herself. You are giving her that unwavering acceptance that she needed, and she adores you. That statement about Remus being decent at defence proves how far you've come. So, yes, Severus Snape, I am unimaginably proud of you."
Good gods, Minerva looked like she was going to cry. What fresh hell was this?
"If you cry Minerva, I won't share my whisky."
Minerva snorted at him,"You'll share your whisky even if I'm sobbing all over you, my boy!" she laughed, "Because if you dont I won't share mine once we're back at school."
"That was a low blow Minerva." he pouted.
She laughed at him holding up her empty glass, and waggling it at him, thankfully looking more like herself.
Severus was still restless when he went to collect the children following his impromptu chat with Minerva the night before. He wondered briefly if he should tell them, he'd already planned on testing their homorphus charm until they could do it at the strength needed. He also wondered if it was time to tell them a bit more of the story, in case the wolf was feeling particularly vindictive. He had no idea how much he knew. He had wanted more time. If he was honest, he had wanted not to have the conversation at all but he had hoped that he'd have been allowed more than a year. He wondered if Hermione would ever forgive him. He wondered if Potter would. Fuck. Fucking hell. Would his past ever not come back to haunt him? Would he ever be allowed to keep the good things in his life?
Hermione frowned when he arrived, clearly reading something in his face. They left relatively quickly, with Severus declining the Grangers' offers of tea.
"Alright, Father, what's going on?" Hermione asked the moment they landed.
Severus blinked at her before he sighed, ushering them into the livingroom, "Albus has appointed your new Defence teacher."
"Ookay…."
"His name is Remus Lupin. He…..he was friends with James Potter and Sirius Black at school."
He saw Hermione work it out as Harry frowned. "I don't understand, was he part of their group?"
"Yes, Mr Potter he was."
"He was the werewolf, wasn't he?" Hermione said softly, he ignored Harry's slightly startled gasp and focused on her, trying to memorise her face before he had to face the conversation after this.
"Yes. He was."
She nodded slowly, moving to wrap her arms around him. "Are you ok, Father?"
He pulled her in tighter, desperately hoping that he'd still have her at the end of this. "Not particularly. However there is more."
"More than us being taught by a werewolf?" Harry asked, incredulously.
He sighed, "Despite my personal feelings for him, he is only a werewolf once a month. It was not his fault, I believe he was bit when he was four as a punishment for his fathers less than complimentary views on the werewolf population. He had a decent grasp on defence during our school years and I imagine he'll be a far more patient teacher than i."
"You're ok with him being there? What about during the full moon?"
"There is a potion that will allow him to keep his own mind. I intend to offer to brew it. I also imagine that Minerva will be insisting she inspect Dumbledore's safety measures. I will enquire as to what they are next time I see her. And then I will be insisting I inspect Dumbledore's safety measures."
Harry nodded slowly, "You really think it's safe?"
"I think that I would not willingly allow harm to come to any of the students, however no I would not say it is risk free. It relies on the students following the rules set despite them not knowing the consequences if they break them."
"Is that why you're telling us?"
"Partially. However, it leads me into the other thing I need to discuss." He slowly disengaged Hermione from him and sat her on the seat next to Harry, seating himself across from them.
"Father? You're scaring me."
He looked at the pale face of his only child as she clutched Harry's hand in hers and attempted to steel his nerves. He didn't want to do this.
"Mr Potter, are you aware of the prophecy?"
"What prophecy?" he asked, bewildered by this seemingly random change of subject.
"There was a prophecy told by a seer before you were born, it was the reason your parents went into hiding. At the time I did not know the entirety of it, I do now."
Harry frowned, "Ok. Do I want to know what it said?"
Severus shrugged slightly, "I would suggest that that is not a conversation for right this moment. However, if you wish to know, I will tell you."
"I trust your judgement, Sir. If you don't think I need to know right now, then I'll wait a bit longer."
It was actually physically painful, Severus realised, the weight of the boys trust in him. Trust he was surely about to shatter.
"I was there when the prophecy was given." he said in a harsh whisper, looking at his knees, grasping the arm of the sofa so tightly his knuckles were white, worried that if he looked at them he'd lose his nerve. "I was thrown out of the Hogs Head before I heard the end of it. However, before you go back to school, I want you to hear this from me, not the wolf. I am the reason the Dark Lord knew of that prophecy. It was me who set the events in motion."
There was utter silence as both children gazed at him horrified. Hermione had tears streaming down her face, and a white knuckled grip on Harry's hand.
"Did you know it was about me?" the boy asked harshly.
"No. No I did not."
"When did you become a spy?"
"When I realised who the prophecy was about, I went to Dumbledore."
"Who else could it have been about?"
"Neville Longbottom. However at the time the prophecy was given, I had no idea either Lily or Alice were even pregnant."
"Why did you give it to him?"
Severus sighed, It wasn't an easy question to answer. "I have never fitted in." he began slowly. "Hermione is the first person, ever, to tell me they loved me. Not even my parents claimed that. When I joined the Death Eaters, it wasn't because I believed the nonsense about muggles and muggleborns being beneath those with magical parents, it was because I wanted somewhere to belong and He promised me that. He funded my apprenticeship, I would never have been able to afford it otherwise and he gave me a group where I was accepted. In the beginning at least. I realised almost immediately that none of it was what it seemed and that the price he wanted me to pay in return was higher than I'd ever anticipated. However, once you joined, there was no leaving without death. I had nowhere to go, nothing that would make me think that anyone would believe my remorse and at that point, I wasn't ready to die. If he had found out later I'd know, he would have killed me for it."
"What about Dumbledore?" Harry spat.
"Dumbledore who knew of my being bullied for years and who dismissed it? Dumbledore who told me I'd be expelled for revealing Lupins secret while giving the boy who almost had me murdered by him a weeks detention?"
Harry flinched. "McGonagall, then?"
He inclined his head, "I know now, I could have. I wish I had. But I did not know it then. I believed myself alone. It was only when I realised who he was hunting that I chanced meeting Dumbledore."
"And if it had been Neville?" Hermione whispered.
"Then I imagine I'd be dead. I had no ties to Alice or Frank, not the way I did Lily. Nothing that would have given me that push to give myself up to Dumbledore's mercy. But I also could not have withstood much more of the things he expected of us."
Hermione swallowed harshly. A long silence enveloping the room.
"If you wish me to take you back to your parents, I understand." he said softly, waiting for her to deliver the blow. There was no way she could possibly want anything to do with him now. He was the reason the boy she thought of as a brother had lost his parents. There would be no coming back from this, not for him.
Hermione was up and out of her seat before he could blink, throwing herself at him as she shook her head.
"I'm not going anywhere. I love you." she choked, "I'm not going to lie and say that I like it, that I'm not disappointed in your choices, that it won't take me a while to get my head around, but you're my father." He couldn't have stopped the tears even if he wanted to as he clung to her, relieved beyond measure that she was staying, that she wasn't outright rejecting him. It felt too good to be true. He wondered briefly if she just needed time for it to sink in before she realised she couldn't bear to look at him. Across from them, Potter looked torn.
"How long were you loyal?"
"A year. I wasn't marked until my Apprenticeship was underway, I had a six month reprieve after school where I had no real idea what was going on. My Master was Bulgarian, I spent that time over there."
"Did you know who their secret keeper was?"
"No."
"Did you ever see Black amongst the others?"
"Not once."
Harry nodded slowly, "Do you regret it?"
"Every day." he rasped, clutching Hermione tighter to him.
"You never lied to Dumbledore?"
"When passing on information? Not once."
Harry swallowed sharply. "What would He have done if he'd found out?"
"That I was spying?" at Harry's nod, he continued, "He'd have murdered me slowly. I'd have been made an example of, a reminder never to cross him. I imagine he would have drawn it out for as long as possible."
Harry flinched and Hermione squeezed him tighter.
"I think….I think that I'm not ok that you did it. But, " he watched as the boy exhaled slowly. "You have been the closest thing to an actual parent I've ever had, this summer. You didn't need to tell me and part of me wishes you hadn't. I can see that you expected us to leave." he gave a humourless laugh. "I know what that feels like. I don't like it but I think I can live with it. You didn't betray didn't hand them over to Voldemort. You didn't cast the curse and you've been paying for it ever since. You've not yet given me a reason not to trust you."
The boy moved cautiously as if unsure of his welcome, sitting gingerly beside them as Severus, in a move that he never thought probable, pulled the boy to him and sobbed, feeling both of the children's arms tightening around him, offering him the salvation that he had never once thought he deserved.