A/N: First of all, Happy Halloween! I know it's a bit late but I hope you all had a great weekend whatever your plans were.
Second: a few weeks ago a reader mentioned they would like to see a certain exchange between Regina and Snow. While working on this chapter and those before and after it (which originally were all one chapter), I was able to find a place to work that in before things start heating up in the next chapters. I hope it lives up to your expectations and I hope you all like the update, please don't forget to leave a review after reading if you enjoyed the chapter!
Emma had been the first to go up to bed early that evening, but just before she did, she and her parents had finally been able to convince Regina to eat a small dinner. After Emma had gone up to get some much needed sleep, Regina had stayed in the kitchen while the other three worked on cleaning the dishes that had accumulated throughout the day. She felt bad that her son and his grandparents had to do it all while she just sat there, but she also knew that she wouldn't have been much use to them anyway.
She felt jealous of Emma already resting upstairs, but she also knew that the Charmings had been right when they suggested she stay up for a little while longer. Lying down so soon after eating could upset her stomach, and getting sick again was not something she wished on herself.
After the dishes were done, David and Mary Margaret had been able to get her to stay sitting upright in the living room for about an hour afterward while they started a movie with Henry. Ultimately however, they knew that keeping Regina from sleeping for much longer wouldn't do her any good. She had already nodded off next to Henry when Snow had gently woken her up to ask if she wanted to go up to bed.
Regina's dizziness had gone down substantially after dinner, but she still allowed her stepdaughter to escort her back up to her room just in case of any incidents.
Henry had followed them upstairs and sat on the bed once his mother was settled under the blankets.
"I can stay in here with you if you want Mom." Henry said.
Regina gave him a soft smile. "That's sweet of you Henry, but I'll be fine. I think you should go downstairs and enjoy the rest of the movie."
"I don't mind. Honest."
Regina's eyes searched his for a few moments, detecting the worry she found in them. "If you really want to, of course I would love it if you stayed. But I'll be asleep most of the time, it won't be much fun for you up here. Go and spend some time with David and Mary Margaret."
"Are you sure?"
Regina gently cupped his cheek with her palm. "Go, I'll see you in the morning okay?"
"Okay." Henry said, leaning forward to hug her. "Night Mom."
"Goodnight sweetheart." She said, holding him closely.
Her heart saddened when she felt him hugging her for a little too long.
"I know today has been difficult Henry." She said gently. "And I know what I told you is a lot to take in. So if you need anything in the night, don't be afraid to wake me up okay? If you need me I'm here."
"Thanks Mom," Henry mumbled into her shirt.
"I love you Henry." She said softly, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.
"I love you too." He responded, finally pulling back from the hug.
She softly brushed his hair back from his face, smiling as he got up to go back to the living room.
"I'll see you downstairs okay Henry?" Snow said. "I'm just going to stay and talk to your mom for a minute."
"Okay. Do you want us to wait for you before we start the movie again?"
"No go ahead without me. Don't worry I've seen it before. Thank you Henry."
Henry gave them both a small smile before exiting the room.
As Snow sat down on the edge of the bed, Regina gave her a curious smile as she waited for her to begin. However when Snow failed to do so, Regina knew she would have to give her a push.
"Was there something you wanted to tell me Snow?"
"Actually... Regina I was wondering... could I ask you something?"
"Of course."
"Well, you know how earlier when we were talking... What I mean is..." Snow sighed, folding her arms as she tried to think over her words.
"What is it you want to know?" Regina asked patiently.
"I asked you a question earlier, and you never gave me an answer. But it's something I would really like to know."
Regina's brow furrowed as she thought back. "Which question was that?"
"I wanted to know..." Snow trailed off again, finding it a bit difficult.
"What, Snow?"
"I want to know why you didn't kill me all those years ago." Snow asked softly. "You know, that day in the forest after you'd just recovered from your fever."
"Oh..."
"You'd spent so long hunting me, and in that moment you had the perfect opportunity. What was it that held you back?"
Regina folded her arms around herself, thinking back to that day. She could still remember all the hope she'd been given from Snow's words. Hope that had been crushed almost immediately afterwards.
"I don't think you had your magic while under the spell, but we both know you wouldn't have needed it." Mary Margaret added.
Regina nodded softly. "Snow... I'm sure you remember the story you told me the day before that?"
"Of course. It was about the day we met."
"Yes it was. And the way you told it allowed me to look at our relationship in a way I hadn't in years."
"What way was that?"
Regina breathed a soft sigh. "It reminded me of the person I had used to be. The person I'd always thought I would be. You reminded me that even with all the power and riches in the world, what's most important is the people in our lives. I realized... I realized I missed you."
"You did?" Snow whispered in disbelief.
"Yes. I know it sounds crazy, especially with everything that happened afterwards."
Regina studied Snow's gaze for a few moments. The younger woman was staring at her with eyes that were widened slightly in emotion, but she didn't interrupt.
"I know we never really had a chance to be a proper family Snow... but there were a few weeks before I married your father when I thought you and I could grow to be very close. I even hoped that one day maybe you would be able to see me as not just your father's second wife, but as your mother too."
"Regina... I already did think of you as a mother. Even before the wedding, it's hard to explain but I just felt that we had this connection. But then you started pushing me away and..."
Regina's arms tightened remorsefully around her own waist. "I didn't have anything against you, not in the beginning anyway."
"You didn't?"
"No." Regina responded gently. "You were just a sweet, innocent young girl. I knew it wasn't your fault that your father proposed to me. I may not have wanted to marry your father but I knew my entering into the family was largely for your benefit. I knew you were still devastated at the loss of your mother and I hoped I could help to fill the void, even if just a little bit."
"I didn't know that. I thought you always hated me and my father."
"Well, things changed after I learned the truth about Daniel's death. I hadn't known that you'd told my mother about him until you confessed to it at my dress fitting."
Snow's eyes filled with guilt at the memory. "And that was the moment everything went downhill."
"Yes." Regina replied softly. "But over time, despite the anger I felt towards you there was always something buried inside me, it was a sense of... regret I suppose. I hated you for what you did to me, but I couldn't help but feel unhappy that you and I never got to be the family we were supposed to be. And then that day in the forest, you told me–well, Wilma–that you still believed there was good inside me. I asked you if you would let me back into your heart if I wanted to be a family again. And you said you would. I was hoping that meant we could start over."
"But, Regina if you wanted that too then why didn't you just tell me?" Snow's eyes saddened as she thought back to those few days in the forest. And then the realization hit her. "Because that's when we came to that village." She concluded.
"You saw what I did to all those people, and you changed your mind about me. You said you could never forgive me. I believed you, and so I knew telling you would be a mistake."
Snow sighed regretfully. "Then I realized who you were... and yet you still decided to spare me? Even once you thought our relationship could never be fixed?"
"Well to be fair, by that point I would never have succeeded. You had an arrow aimed at my head long before I could get to my sword."
Mary Margaret breathed a laugh, but she knew that was not the reason.
"You didn't kill me either Snow, even though you were in the perfect position to do so and had just as much reason as I did. So perhaps you already have part of your answer."
"It seemed wrong somehow." Snow replied softly. "Despite what I said I still believed there was a chance you could change."
Regina gave her a soft smile before dropping her gaze. "Well, I'm glad you did. I would never have ended up here with Henry and all of you if you hadn't."
"I'm happy I did to."
Mary Margaret reached for Regina's hand, giving it a delicate squeeze. She could tell that her stepmother was getting tired and she didn't want to push her, but she felt like there was something Regina was holding back. She also knew that if Regina really wanted her to leave then she would just ask her to, and so she decided to try asking her next question.
"But you didn't know that's how I felt at the time." Mary Margaret said gently. "Why didn't you just come back to finish the job once your magic was returned? You were still trying to destroy my life with Charming, why didn't you just kill me and be done with it?"
Regina gave a soft sigh as she thought back to those horrible years. She had to swallow back her emotions before responding.
"Because...you had already reminded me of that little girl I had begun to love all those years ago." Regina's eyes saddened as they searched her stepdaughter's. "I wanted to hurt you, but I couldn't. At least not in that way. Even after everything we've been through there has always been a part of me that still cares about you Snow."
"Is that really true?" Mary Margaret practically whispered.
Regina's expression softened at the look on Mary Margaret's face. She placed a gentle palm to her stepdaughter's cheek. "Of course it is. Even if at times I don't like to admit it even to myself." She finished a little teasingly.
Snow felt her heart fill with sadness as her stepmother withdrew her hand. "I'm sorry for how everything turned out Regina. I think maybe if we had tried a little harder to communicate rather than constantly being at each other's throats, perhaps things could have been better between us."
"You don't have to be sorry Snow," Regina responded gently. "It was my fault we became enemies, I shouldn't have placed such blame on you, especially not when you were so young."
"But it wasn't just your fault. We both know I had a hand in it too. I know how impossible and spoiled I could act as a child. I'm actually surprised you could stand being around me as long as you did."
Regina gave her a warm, appreciative smile.
"Even after you married my father, there was a short time where I remember you spending lots of time with me. You were kind to me. But all that time you were suffering from the loss of Daniel. You knew I was partially to blame for his death and yet you made an effort to bond with me. Why?"
"Like I said, there's always been a part of me that's cared for you."
Mary Margaret smiled at her stepmother's words, but she had a faraway look in her eyes. "About Daniel, I'm so sorry for what I did Regina. If I had known what would happen I would never have..." She frowned, not being able to finish. "I only wanted to help you."
"I know you did. But unfortunately you didn't know of the darkness that was buried within my mother's soul."
"No..." Snow shook her head regretfully. "You told me how important it was not to tell her about him, and I didn't listen. You trusted me with your secret. I shouldn't have betrayed you like that."
Regina pressed her lips together at the memory. She didn't have a response for that.
Snow frowned as she continued to reminisce. "Was it my fault?" She asked quietly.
"Was what your fault?"
"When you finally did start pushing me away... it was months, maybe even a year after the wedding. You weren't mean to me exactly, just distant. Something must have changed. Was there something I could have done differently that would have stopped that?"
Regina frowned as she thought back. "No." She responded quietly. "I think I was just tired of pretending that everything was okay when it clearly wasn't. I wanted to leave your father… I wanted to start my own life… but I knew that was impossible. I felt trapped, and I was just tired of it all."
Snow nodded her understanding, but she remained deep in thought. "Still, I could have been more mindful about your feelings."
Regina's brow furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?"
"Looking back now... I was a selfish child. I only ever thought of what I wanted. I knew you didn't love my father, but once you told me Daniel had run away I still wanted you to be my mother. I never considered the idea that even though Daniel was gone, maybe you didn't want to join our family. Even whenever we would spend time together, we only ever did what I wanted to do. And I remember getting mad at you sometimes if told me you were tired or weren't feeling well. I probably wasn't the little angel you were expecting me to be."
Regina breathed a soft sigh. "Well, you certainly weren't always an 'angel', but you're being too hard on yourself Snow. You had your good moments too."
Mary Margaret gave her an appreciative smile. "Thank you." She said softly. She gave a wistful sigh. "So be honest, those times when you locked yourself in your chambers… it wasn't always because you were sick right? It was because you were tired of my brattiness?" She asked in jest.
Regina felt her heart sink a little at the memory. "No… sometimes I just needed some time to myself." She said softly. She didn't have the heart to tell the younger woman that she had never locked herself in her rooms; there was little point in tarnishing Snow's memory of her father now. "Snow… I think it's safe to say we were both to blame for what happened between us."
"But now we have a chance to make up for all that."
"Yes we do." Regina smiled warmly before blinking her eyes closed for a few moments. "Now... I'm sorry Snow but I really do need to get some rest. It seems today has worn me out."
Mary Margaret gave her an understanding smile. "It's okay, I'm sorry for keeping you up for so long."
Regina patted the back of her stepdaughter's hand gently. "Don't be. I'm glad we were able to talk a little bit about this."
"Me too." Snow replied, standing up from where she had been sitting on the bed. "Do you need anything before I go back to the living room? We forgot to bring up the compress, do you want me to get it for you?"
"Yes, that would be perfect." Regina adjusted the blankets and lied down in bed. She felt her forehead with her hand, but couldn't tell whether her temperature was too high or not.
"Is there anything else you need?" Snow asked, touching her stepmother's arm softly.
"No, thank you Mary Margaret."