So you were supposed to get the ball...and maybe some Ron because hes been in Egypt forever and really we need to be heading back to school...instead, there is is this. I'm sorry, I dont know where this came from. I've had the plague and been in isolation for a fortnight, lets blame it on that.
"Should I be concerned about how quiet you two have been about yesterday?" Severus asked, finally giving into his curiosity.
"No. It went, well, it went as well as could be expected. It took Parkinson a long time to get over herself."
Severus snorted, he could imagine. "So you're not upending the status quo just yet?"
"Not quite yet, no." Hermione smiled angelically back at him, making his pulse skyrocket. Nothing good came from a smile like that, "We thought we'd wait until at least Christmas."
Fucking wonderful. Severus sighed, "You have half an hour to be ready, we're meeting your Aunt so for the love of Merlin do not make us late."
"Of course, Father." Hermione murmured, dragging Harry up by the hand. "We'll meet you back here."
Severus exhaled slowly, wondering at what point he would have to step in and prevent their attempt at world domination or at least attempt to persuade them to put it off until they were of age. He shuddered at the thought of that conversation, he'd lose wouldn't he? They were already building a bloody army. He stilled. Fuck. They were already building a bloody army.
"Hermione!" he shouted as the panic took over him, making him stand abruptly and head for the stairs.
"Yes Father?" Hermione asked from the top of the staircase, a small furrow creasing her brow.
"Please tell me you're not actually planning world domination?"
Hermione frowned further, slowly walking down the stairs with a look of concern on her face, Harry's face mirrored hers from behind her shoulder.
"Father? Are you alright?" she asked slowly, reaching out to touch his forehead like he was a feverish child.
He batted her hand away. "I am not ill!"
Her face told him she wasn't convinced. "Are you sure? You're acting pretty strangely."
"I…..Fuck," he scrubbed a hand over his face, almost jumping when he felt her hand on his arm.
"Father?"
"You're building an army." he said weakly, willing her to understand.
"I….what?"
"You….your brother, Susan….you're building a bloody army."
"Ok….."
He attempted to get himself under control, this was absurd. His children were thirteen bloody years old. Reckless, inquisitive, impulsive thirteen year olds….but still. He was panicking over nothing, wasn't he? Fuck. What had happened to his self control? Where had it gone? She hadn't denied it though. Fuck. She hadn't fucking denied it.
"No attempts at world domination until you're of age!" he bit out finally.
They looked at him strangely, Harry patted his arm with a look of concern still plastered over his face. Hermione hugged him, murmuring soothingly like he was a fractious child. "Ok, Father. No attempts at world domination until we're of age."
"Promise?" He had to ask.
"We promise." Harry spoke just as soothingly, mimicking Hermione's tone as Severus allowed himself to sink into his daughter's hug and breathe out a sigh of relief. They could revisit this conversation in a few years. He had a few years. No world domination for a few years. He had time to come up with a plan.
"Right, get your things. We need to leave."
He watched as they shared a look but moved to humour him regardless, returning to stand in front of the floo in less than five minutes. His heart was still pounding.
"Father? Are you sure you're alright?" Hermione voiced, still looking at him with concern.
"Yes, my girl." he let out a long breath he hadn't been aware he was still holding.
"Ok." she replied slowly, still watching him with concern. "We'd better go then before Aunt Cissa comes looking for us."
He gestured towards the floo, wanting to get himself actually under control before he was faced with Narcissa and Lucius. He wasn't sure he could explain it even if he wanted to. He was going to blame spending all this time with Saul, it was clearly stressing him to the point of madness.
Lucius and Narcissa were looking at him with concern when he finally stepped out of the floo. Fuck. The children had clearly spoken to them in the time it had taken him to get himself together. He hadn't thought that through.
"Where first?" he asked blandly, pretending not to notice the less than subtle exchanges of pointed looks.
"Gringotts, and then I'll take the children for their robes and you and Lucius can….get tea." Naricssa decided.
Tea. Fuck. She was genuinely worried then if she wasn't just berating him for being fucking odd. Wonderful.
Gringotts was surprisingly quiet for the time of day. He sent a silent thanks to Narcissa for insisting on getting the school shopping done before the ball so they could enjoy the few days after it without it hanging over their heads.
"Key?" The goblin turned its beady eyes towards him. Severus slowly handed over his vault key.
"I wish to set up a trust vault and I would like to speak to the manager of the Potter estate at their earliest convenience."
The Goblin looked at him shrewdly, glancing between the children before he inclined his head.
"Iolenx will see you in the meeting room. Follow me."
Severus guided the children in the direction the goblin had disappeared in, entering the sparsely furnished room, acknowledging the goblins' instruction to wait.
"Iolenx understands Lord Prince wishes to set up a trust vault?" The goblin in front of him was dressed in a skirt suit which surprised him, he wasn't sure he had ever seen a female goblin.
"I do," he acknowledged.
"For?"
"My daughter." he indicated towards Hermione. Iolenx nodded briefly, indicating that Hermione should come closer.
"Take the dagger, drop three drops of blood onto the parchment." Iolenx instructed. Looking alarmed, Hermione did as she was bid. The goblin nodded as words formed on the parchment, "The claim is true. Very well Miss Prince, your key. Lord Prince, do you wish the standard opening amount to be placed in the vault."
"Yes, Iolenx, if you could also amalgamate the vault of Miss Granger into this one. Set up the standard allowance and if we could have the standard bag."
Iolenx nodded, "Very well, Lord Prince. Now. The Potter estate. What claim do you have to ask about it?"
"I am the guardian of the last Heir. I am under the impression that it has not been catalogued since the last Lord's death."
Iolenx nodded, "That is true. Do you have proof of your claims, Lord Prince?"
"Yes." Severus handed over the guardianship papers.
Iolenx nodded, "And you, Heir Potter, you are willing to allow Lord Prince to manage your affairs."
"I….yes?" Harry replied hesitantly. "I….I only have one vault though."
"You have access to the trust vault." Iolenx conceded, "Not the main one. Do you wish the allowance to remain the same, Lord Prince?"
"Is it set at standard?"
"No. It is set at the standard of the time it was first set up."
"Then adjust it please, Iolenx and add in a bag if you please."
Iolenx nodded. "Very well. We shall have a comprehensive report sent to you within the month. You may decide what you wish to happen with it at that point."
Severus nodded, "Very well."
"I assume you wish to visit the vaults to set the bags?"
"If you please, Iolenx."
The goblin nodded, "Follow me."
Severus squeezed himself into the rickety cart behind Hermione. He hated these fucking things, most people he knew did. Which was perhaps the point, if he thought about it. He focused on listing the ingredients to various potions as they hurtled through the bowels of Gringotts, attempting not to vomit.
"Vault six hundred and eighty seven." Iolenx announced eventually, climbing out of the cart with a grace Severus envied.
"Stay here a moment" Severus murmured to Hermione who was looking slightly green before he motioned to Harry to follow him. Iolenx handed Harry a bag.
"I've already got one, thanks," Harry stated looking at it in confusion.
"A refilling one?" Severus asked pointedly.
"What? No."
"Exactly. Iolenx what is the standard limit?"
"Fifty galleons single purchase."
Severus nodded shortly. "The bag will refill to that level, take out more today to cover your school things, however you shouldn't need more for Hogsmeade weekends. If there is a single purchase you require that exceeds that limit, speak to me and I will arrange it."
Harry's eyes were wide as he nodded. "How come I didn't know about this before?"
"Did you know to ask?"
"No." Harry said slowly. "This is another one of those things that if you don't know, no one tells you?"
"Not quite. It was something I was told of while at Hogwarts, if your friends are aware it is likely something that will come up in conversation. However….I do not imagine that the Weasley's would want five refilling bags."
"Ah." Harry replied softly.
Severus inclined his head, "Come along, Narcissa will be getting impatient and we've still one more vault to go."
Harry moved quickly, throwing uncounted amounts into the bag. Severus bit back a sigh, Perhaps he'd bring him along to the meeting when they were discussing the Potter account. Gods knew the boy had no concept of money. Perhaps because he'd never had any.
"The next vault is only four down," Iolenx pointed, "I took the liberty of keeping them close."
"Thank you Iolenx." The goblin nodded, incling her head back to the cart. Noticing Harry's startled look she laughed, "I did say down, Mr Potter."
The cart moved forward slowly before careening off a sheer drop that made Hermione scream and Harry whoop with glee before it stopped abruptly seconds later.
"Vault six hundred and forty two."
Hermione got out the cart shakily, clutching him for balance. He half wished she wouldn't, his own legs felt suspiciously wobbly.
"Come along my girl."
Hermione's eyes widened as she took in the vault in front of her. "Mum and dad put a little into my old vault but they mainly changed money on the day." she murmured, "This can't all be mine?"
Severus huffed out a laugh, "It is, it is the standard amount for setting up a trust vault, and will default to your own personal vault when you leave school. While you will always have access to the main Prince Vaults should you need it, the key is held by the current Head of House. One day I will take you down, I imagine there are some things you would like to see. We do not just keep gold in the vaults."
Hermione looked at him with interest, "What else do you keep in the vault?"
Severus shrugged, "Furniture, jewellery, books, paintings. There are many things inside the vaults of old families."
"Books?"
Severus barely refrained from rolling his eyes, "Yes, my girl, books. We can visit at Christmas, for now, your Aunt is waiting. Put some money in that bag and let us leave. It will refill to fifty galleons, bigger purchases will need to go through me."
She nodded thoughtfully, "So I need to put fifty in now?"
"No, add more for your school things today, it will adjust."
"How much?"
Severus almost laughed at the differences in his children. "Just put some in, Hermione. I doubt your brother has any idea how much is in his bag. If there is not enough I will sort it."
Nodding slowly, she scooped up a few handfuls of coins as if unsure if she should be. Severus shook his head, adding in a few more. "It is your money Hermione. The purpose of the trust vault is to get children used to handling their money, teaching them to budget, giving them an amount to get them situated after Hogwarts. Do not be afraid to touch it. You will have an allowance that will go in each month, alongside the allowance from your parents."
"How do I know how much is in there though? To work out a budget."
"Gringotts can send monthly, quarterly or annual statements on request. Would you like one?"
"Um….a quarterly one please?"
Iolenx nodded, "It will be done."
"Good, now, let us go and get this over with." Severus sighed, already dreading the ride back up.
They stood finally in the August sunshine, Hermione breathing out a deep sigh of relief at being out of the cart.
"All sorted?" Narcissa asked pointedly. At the childrens agreement, she nodded, "Good, come along you three. Severus, Lucius, we'll meet you in half an hour outside Slug and Jiggers."
Fuck he had forgotten about tea with Lucius. Not that he had any choice. Cissa had that look in her eye. That look that dared them to argue. He wasn't fucking stupid. The witch would hex him in public without chipping her nail varnish all while making it seem like she'd never lifted her wand, so he nodded. Reluctantly. Before he watched as she swept the children off to get their robes leaving him standing awkwardly with Lucius.
"Let's go to Rosa Lee's. Draco will never forgive us if we go to Fortesques without him."
Severus sighed and then nodded, following Lucius into the teashop.
"Now. What in the name of Merlin got into you this morning? Hermione was beside herself."
Lucius raised an eyebrow as he spoke. Smiling slightly at the waitress as she put down their teas.
"I…..It was pointed out to me that it was wise to have goals and neither of my children are particularly able to keep their noses out of situations that they have no business being interested in."
"I see."
"She didn't deny she was building an army, Lucius!"
Lucius snorted, "You are aware we are discussing thirteen year olds, yes?"
"Thirteen year olds who took it upon themselves to investigate a mystery that brought one of them face to face with Voldemort when they were eleven and twelve, Lucius!"
"I see your point." Lucius conceded, taking a measured sip of his tea.
"I'd quite like them to get their NEWTS before they plot to take over the world."
Lucius snorted, "And this hit you particularly hard this morning because?"
"They spent yesterday plotting how they were going to overthrow society."
"Ah. Well there's a natural progression I suppose. Although perhaps you should apologise for frightening them."
"Perhaps." Severus sighed. "I didn't mean to. I just….had a horrible premonition that this will not end with them taking down society matrons."
"Probably not. However, they cannot do a worse job than our current esteemed leaders. Perhaps steer them in the direction of the Wizengamot. The legislation alone should keep them busy for a few years. They can overthrow the Ministry once they've the 'gamot on side."
"I…..fuck, actually, thats genius. I knew there had to be a reason we were friends."
Lucius scowled at him.
"You have everything?" Severus checked before they turned to leave the Alley.
"Yes."
"Good. Let's go then, I imagine your parents are desperate to see you."
"They're staying though aren't they?"
"Yes." Severus sighed, "Your grandmother will also arrive tonight."
"Really?" Hermione's eyes lit up.
"Yes, your Aunt indicated an early start, it made sense for you all to be in the one place."
Hermione beamed back at him before reaching to hug Narcissa who smiled down at her indulgently "I'll be by to collect you all at eight, dear. Daphne, Susan and Amelia are meeting us there."
Beside them Draco breathed out a sigh of relief, muttering something about being glad he wasn't a girl that caused Lucius to reach behind him and hit the back of his head. Harry, very sensibly kept his mouth shut as they said their goodbyes.
Severus cringed as he stepped out of the floo to a loud "Darling!" only just managing to avoid being trampled as Annalise swept Hermione into a hug. "Severus, Mr Potter." she acknowledged, her arm still wrapped around Hermione's shoulders.
"Annalise. You look well."
"Lady Fawley."
Annalise looked at Harry shrewdly, "I think perhaps we should forgo the formalities, you are my granddaughters brother, you may call me Grandmother…Harry."
Harry blinked at her before a slow grin spread over his face, "I think I'd like that….Grandmother." he replied slowly.
Internally Severus groaned. This was not going to end well.
"Wonderful, now, come along. I want to hear what you've been up to all summer." At that Annalise shepherded the children into the livingroom leaving Severus standing in the floo room pondering his life choices. Minutes later the Drs Granger stood in front of him, startling him out of his introspection. Neither of them looked well and not for the first time he questioned the wisdom of giving them a portkey. If they vomited, Saul was coming to clean it up.
"That was…" Jean looked at him in horror.
"Bloody awful." Richard groaned, finishing the sentence. "Why do you do that to yourselves?"
"It's quick?" Severus offered.
"Never again. It's worse than that bloody teleporting you do."
Severus snorted, "I shall be sure to let Saul know. Annalise is with the children in the livingroom, perhaps we should join them before she convinces them to storm the Ministry. I have already had to warn our daughter that world domination has to wait until she's of age."
Richard gaped at him, clearly not sure if he was joking or not, concerningly Jean only shrugged, "She'll need proper plans in place if she wants to achieve it once she's of age, it makes sense to start now." At that she sauntered out the room, presumably to aid the take over attempts.
"Fuck." Severus muttered. "That wasn't what I meant!" he turned to Richard panicked, "Tell her that wasn't what I meant!"
Richard raised an incredulous eyebrow. "Tell her? The woman who taught our daughter that girls do not belong in the boxes society wants to put them in…you want me to tell her that Hermione can't rule the world if she so chooses?"
His tone indicated that Severus was an idiot. He had to concede that perhaps he was right. "I can't handle more of them!" he whined.
Richard patted his shoulder consolingly, "Best just to go along with it. It's easier that way. And maybe….find her a new hobby or project or something. Gives her less free time."
Severus nodded slowly before quickly conjuring a patronus. "Tell Saul Croaker I've changed my mind, he can send Hermione a project. A really big, involved project." His raven looked at him curiously before it disappeared.
Richard nodded approvingly, "Good call. Now shall we see what they're plotting?"
They moved cautiously into the livingroom. Annalise was sitting in between Harry and Hermione with Jean sat across from them. They appeared to be having a very intense conversion about….something. Severus frowned. It didn't sound like world takeover plans….if anything it sounded like they were discussing….the ball. That was unexpected.
"Is your young man escorting you dear?" Annalise asked with a pointed look.
"No. I didn't think it was wise given Thoros' pushing."
"Hmmm no I imagine not. I do so hope to reacquaint myself with dear Thoros, it would seem we are long overdue a chat to remind him of the proprietries"
Both Harry and Hermione grinned at that comment. "Do you think he'll bring Loofah?" Harry asked idly.
"Loofah?" Jean asked, confusion clear.
"His chicken. He had her dressed in a tux at the Nott ball….it was. I mean it was something."
"Hermione, are you sure about this boy?" Jean asked. "Severus…..this man, I know we've asked before but is he sane?"
"Not in the slightest." Severus smirked.
Jean's eyes widened, "And we're letting our daughter associate with him and his son because….?"
"Madam, have you ever tried to forbid our daughter from doing anything?"
Jean had the grace to blush. "Yes well….buf if her safety is compromised."
"Thoros will not harm her." Severus sighed, "At least not deliberately, he is just…..well he has money so I imagine one could describe him as eccentric."
Richard snorted, "Wonderful. And we get to meet him tomorrow?"
"Yes. Do try not to be offended by his ignorance. He has had his entire world view shattered recently and he is attempting to re-calibrate, I imagine he will seem…..less sane than he usually does."
"Right but really!" Harry cut in, "Tell me he's bringing the chicken?"
"I believe he ordered her a dress." Hermione murmured, trying not to laugh as she deliberately avoided the astonished looks on everyone's faces. "He owled me to check what colour I was wearing so we could….compliment each other." At that she lost her grip on her laughter. Harry was gasping he was laughing so hard.
"Oh gods, where do you even get dresses for chickens?"
"I believe he was getting it custom made." Hermione spluttered, tears beginning to fall.
"For fucks sake." Severus muttered, "Really Hermione, I must echo your mother, are you sure about Theo?"
Hermione snorted as she began to calm down, "Believe me Father, Theo ever suggests a pet chicken and I'll re-evaluate."
"I'd suggest no pets at all to be safe, 'Mione." Harry laughed.
"A sentiment I echo." Annalise replied drily. "Now shall the grandson of the delectable Arnold Diggory be in attendance tomorrow?"
Harry snorted, "I have no idea. I think they were invited, along with the….how did you put it? The delectable Arnold?"
Annalise laughed, "Wonderful. I do hope they attend. If nothing else it'll annoy Simon no end."
Jean and Richard laughed, "So we'll be getting to meet this illusive husband of yours?"
"Unfortunately. Do try not to take offence to anything he says. He is not the most enlightened of men."
"Severus said as much. How did you end up married?" Richard asked.
Annalise shrugged delicately, "It was an arranged marriage that my parents were aware I wasn't enamoured with. But pureblood marriages leave no room for divorce and our contract prohibits us from hurting each other….physically at least or the Gods knows I would have poisoned him long ago."
"Does it prevent someone else from doing it for you?" Jean asked curiously as if she was not suggesting murder.
"Magic judges intent." Annalise mused, "It was never a risk I wanted to take. Tempting though it was. He's far more manageable now than he was, at least now he realises my threats are not idle. And of course, there is more than one way to make a persons life miserable. Simon has learned that the house elves are on my side and therefore upsetting me is…unwise."
Hermione sorted, "You threaten Lord Fawley with house elves?"
"Amongst other things. House elves are responsible for our food, our comforts which make them the ideal threat. and of course, if I happened to…slip up in public and say something to someone i should not, he would be embarrassed. Its why he left me at home so often. I can't quite imagine that my views would have been welcome in that idiots little club."
"Definitely not." Severus conceded. "I cannot imagine the Dark Lord being open to your views."
"Pity. If ever there was a man who needed disciplined it was that one. Honestly."
Severus choked. Good image of the Dark Lord being…disciplined was enough to give him nightmares for years."
"Disciplined?" Harry queried, wide eyed.
"I imagine a good spanking wouldn't have gone amiss." Annalise replied, amusement clear on her face.
The looks of revulsion on both of the children's faces was enough to make Severus laugh. "Are you implying he could be cured of being a homicidal manic by being put over your knee Lady Fawley?"
"It wouldn't have done him any harm." She retorted. "A good hard spank every time he acted like an idiot might have convinced him not to. Of course the other argument is that the man could have used a hug but I'm more inclined to spank him. Although he might enjoy it, which I imagine defeats the purpose."
"Dear gods." Severus choked, struggling to compute what she'd just said.
"Please let's change the subject?" Hermione begged, Harry nodding his fervent agreement from Annalise's other side.
"Very well." Annalise sighed, "Tell me what you've been up to over the summer."
The rest of the evening thankfully passed without any more horrifying imagery, although Severus couldn't pretend that he wasn't relieved to hand Annalise over to Narcissa the next morning, although he wished Hermione wasn't also going.
"Have a good time, my girl. Maybe stay with Susan and Daphne and away from your grandmother?"
Hermione snorted, "I don't think she'll ever be able to top last night." she muttered, pulling him into a hug.
"No. I imagine not." he replied drily, releasing her.
"Well then what are we up to today?" Richard asked, bouncing on his heels in a manner reminiscent of their daughter as they watched Hermione disappear with the rest of the women. He wondered idly if Jean would berate Narcissa for the use of the portkey given her clear dislike the day before.
"I have no idea." he replied finally. "Did you have something in mind?"
"It strikes me that Harry is lacking in quite a lot of traditional childhood experiences." Severus nodded, "So crazy golf and McDonald's?"
Severus closed his eyes, desperately wanting to say no. "Fine." he groaned. "But we invite Draco too. Harry's enthusiasm can be….overwhelming. He'll be calmer if he has to remind Draco not to act like an idiot."
The look Richard gave him indicated that he wasn't convinced, "Should we take Lucius?"
Severus couldn't contain the huff of laughter at that thought. "Should we? Probably not….will we? Most definitely. The image of Lucius Malfoy navigating crazy golf will keep me entertained for years."
Several hours later Severus stood with a visibly confused Lucius Malfoy wearing clothes belonging to Richard, which, if he was honest, was fucking hilarious all in itself. The man was wearing a cardigan. And shorts. He looked like he had no idea how he had ended up there. Severus took a picture because no one would bloody believe him otherwise.
"Right boys, can you remember the rules?" Richard might have been looking at Draco and Harry but they all knew he was really talking to Lucius.
"No magic, no wands, no talk of magical creatures…..no throwing the stick if we're cross?" Draco ventured.
"Golf club but close enough." Richard conceded. "Right, shall we head?"
They arrived at the apparition point near their destination "Paradise Island Golf," the sign proclaimed with questionable fishing nets and plasticy looking fish. Dear gods why was he going along with this again. Ah. That would be why, damn it. The boy looked almost indecently happy. Draco looked confused. Lucius….Lucius looked a wonderful mixture of fucking terrified and utterly baffled. Fuck he needed to photograph that look so he could look at it the next time the man was being an arse.
"Three adults, two kids for two games." Richard announced to the bored looking teen on the desk. The boy gave them a disdainful look before handing over the clubs.
"What colour ball?"
"Just a random five." Richard said hastily, seeing Lucius open his mouth before pocketing them and shepherding the children towards the first course.
Severus looked around, unable to keep the disdainful look off his face. This was….tacky. It was tacky and awful but mercifully quiet.
"What in the name of Merin is this?" Lucius hissed into his ear. "Why are there plastic fish? Do muggles think that's what mermaids look like?...Is that a real monkey?"
"Crazy golf." he replied like that explained everything. Lucius' face let him know he wasn't impressed.
"It…..Richard, why is it coming back to me?" They turned to see Draco looking utterly confused at the ball at his feet. "I hit it! It moved…and now it's back."
Richard snorted, "The course isn't even, you have to get it past that bump or it'll roll back."
"Oh."
"Try again."
This time, Draco managed to hit it onto the flat ground at the top, triggering something that released the roar of crashing waves making them all jump.
"What the fuck was that!"
"Sound effects." Richard replied lightly. "Your turn Lucius."
Lucius' glower promised all manner of pain as he walked towards Richaed holding his club like it had personally offended him. He missed the ball the first three tries. Growling he hit out and managed to hit Harry's ball in which resulted in a ten minute argument as to why Harry got the points and he did not. Idly Severus wondered how long it would be until Richard hit him over the head with his club.
The next hole had three cut outs, Harry's hit the middle one and the little chute that appeared popped it neatly into the hole. Draco's hit the left, and landed one putt away. Lucius hit the right. His ball reappeared at his feet. He turned so red,Severus genuinely wondered if he was going to die from sheer rage. It happened three more times and Severus couldn't have prevented the laughter even if he wanted to. He was framing these pictures. And sending one to all of Lucius' associates. They were going to be fucking hilarious.
"You do it then, arsehole!" Lucius growled at him.
Forcing himself under control, Severus sent his little ball through the middle and into the hole. He only just managed to dodge Lucius' fuchsia ball as it soared through the air, clearly aiming for his head. The family behind them looked scandalised. Harry and Draco were crying, they were laughing so hard. Richard wisely urged them onto the next hole.
They chose to forgo the second round, which was a shame really, he hadn't laughed so much in years. The image of Lucius Malfoy losing his cool enough to beat the fake chimpanzee that popped out of a barrel when you walked past the sensor would fuel his patronus for the rest of his life. Who knew he was so jumpy? He was genuinely surprised they hadn't been asked to leave.
Now they were sitting in McDonald's. Lucius looking around in distaste."What do you mean I have to order it at the counter? Where is the cutlery? Why has no one got plates?"
Richard was patting his arm consolingly. "Come on, mate. Lets get you some food."
Lucius Malfoy eating a McDonald's burger was something he never knew he needed to see. He was holding it with his fingertips like it was contagious, which made it all the funnier when he went to take a bite. Draco and Harry were blissfully happy, chattering about ice cream and how to wangle another visit before they went back to school.
"What is this?" Lucius' nose was scrunched.
"Coke. It's a muggle drink."
Lucius took another cautious sip. "I think I like it." he sounded offended at the very idea.
"Try this one!" Draco shoved his fanta under his fathers nose.
Grimacing, Lucius done as he was bid."I think I like this one more."
Severus snorted, never before had someone looked so disgusted that they liked something.
"Does it have to be so….sticky?"
"It's all part of the experience, Lucius!" Richard answered jovially, purposely ignoring Harry's giggles. Lucius had relaxed by the time they had moved onto ice cream. "What is this?"
"Ice-cream."
"No…the funny sauce!"
"Caramel."
"Oh. Do you think the elves could make this for us?" Lucius cast a disdainful look around the McDonald's. "Maybe it's time to hire squibs," he mused, "I can hardly send an elf here which is a pity. I need more of this sauce. Do you think they'll sell me it?"
Severus snorted, vowing if they ever did this again he was bringing a hipflask. He deserved one for putting up with Lucius' nonsense all day, surely?