Running Silent:

Search and Rescue

…

An alternate ME3. Commander Shepard and her team are on the run from Cerberus and trying to make alliances before it's too late. In a galaxy with no reaper kill switch, how can they hope to defeat something so ancient and powerful? Their last hope is a desperate plan that may cost them everything. Shepard/Garrus, other side pairings.

…

Disclaimer: This author in no way profits from the writing of this story. All characters, dialogue, or other referenced material from the Mass Effect trilogy belong to Bioware.

…

After delaying for a few more hours, Shepard finally knocked at the door to Kaidan's new quarters, down near engineering.

She'd hesitated in coming to see him. She was still hurt by what he'd said to her Horizon. She wasn't sure she had ever truly loved him, but he still had the power to hurt her.

He'd wanted her to cry on his shoulder, to be the one to comfort her. He hadn't understood that wasn't how she dealt with things. When it came down to it, maybe they were just incompatible. Kaidan had always known that there was a human—a woman—behind Commander Shepard, but he'd never been able to see who that woman really was. He'd idolized her so much that to share her doubts and fears with him was unthinkable. He didn't understand that anything bad enough to make her cry on his shoulder would have torn him apart.

She could see now that it would never have lasted, but that didn't excuse how he'd treated her.

"Come in," Kaidan called, breaking Shepard out of her reverie.

"Kaidan, welcome to the new Normandy," she said, stepping into the room. "I hope you've settled in. Miranda told me that she gave you a brief tour."

A frown crossed his features at Miranda's name, and Shepard took the opportunity to address his concerns. "I understand you had a small altercation with Miranda over her former employer," she said. "I want you to know that Miranda has my complete trust, as do the rest of the crew. You should give them a chance. They may have been misguided in their trust for Cerberus, but most of them never saw the side of it that we did. When the Illusive Man asked me to do something I thought was wrong, they chose to leave with me."

Kaidan rubbed his hand across his hair. "I… I'm not sure that makes me feel any better, Commander," he confessed.

Shepard sighed, leaning against the wall. "Why is it that you can't trust me, Kaidan? Hackett and Anderson still trust in my integrity. So does the council."

Kaidan paced. "It wasn't personal for them, Shepard. It wasn't a betrayal to them."

"I never betrayed you," Shepard protested. "From the day I woke up in a Cerberus lab I searched for you. I practically begged for information! God knows that was a mistake, but I was so focused on recreating my life from before I died that I couldn't see the truth." She turned away, unable to look at him for the moment.

"What truth?"

"That I didn't love you. Not like I should."

He looked shocked. "Shepard… I thought maybe we could repair things between us. Try to rebuild that trust. Sure, we fought on Horizon, but…" He shrugged.

She stared at him in shock. "Are you telling me that Horizon wasn't a breakup? Because it felt awfully final to me." She paced across the room, ripping her eyes away from him. "Look… we have to build back up some kind of trust, or else we can't work together. But I don't want you thinking we can be a couple again. That part of my life is over."

"Isn't there a chance, at least?" He gave her his best sorrowful gaze.

"No," she said, and left the room.

…

"How was it?" Garrus asked.

Shepard slumped onto the couch with a sigh, running fingers through her hair. "Well, it ranged from him saying he still doesn't trust me to him asking to get back together."

Garrus blinked. "Oh. That… makes no sense at all."

She looked at him wryly. "That's what I said!" She sighed again. "I'm giving him a chance to be a productive member of the crew. I suppose it's a shock to his delicate sensibilities to be working with so many ex-Cerberus people. But one wrong step and he's gone."

…

Shepard's stomach had been in knots since she had been given her current mission. It was easy to look at the big picture when she didn't have to look at the small one. But this mission would take her down to reaper-controlled Earth.

And not just any part of Earth—the Villa, where Shepard had spent years training to become an N7. The only place on Earth she had ever called home. After Mindoir, she was in biotic training, then basic training, then on tours from ship to ship. She was rarely groundside and took her leave in a different location every time. She was young and had friends everywhere. She'd felt no need to settle down and certainly no desire to go back to the rebuilt colony on Mindoir.

Only after Akuze did she stop and assess—and realized that more than anything, she had been running. From her past, from her feelings, and out of fear that any home she found might be taken from her. It was at the Villa in Rio that she healed and found peace. In the intervening years she'd found reasons to return, even teaching some courses every now and then.

Now she worried at what she would find there. Prime Minister Shastri had been on Earth when the reapers hit. His itinerary had "inspecting the N-school, Rio de Janeiro" marked in for the days leading up to the reaper attack. And she was the one assigned to find him.

Shepard took her time, methodically seeing to her weapons and armor, preparing herself for whatever she might find down on Earth.

…

It was quiet in the shuttle when Earth appeared on their monitors. Shepard's eyes burned with the tears she held in, but she refused to her feelings show. She would stay strong for her crew. The crystal blue waters were clouded with ash, green fields scorched and burned away. The cities glowed, not with lights but with fire. Earth would never be the same.

Shepard heard a sniffle behind her, but didn't turn to see whose it was. She would keep her composure if it was the last thing she did. She had a full complement on this mission, since no one knew what they would be getting into. Even Kaidan had requested to come along, but Shepard didn't trust him with her team yet. She left behind only Tali and the newly recovered Jacob with Miranda, in case a second team would be needed.

When the Villa came into view, Shepard nearly gasped. It had been flattened almost completely. "Let's hope he wasn't in there," Shepard muttered, pushing down the feeling of shock and horror that overtook her. There was little chance anyone inside had survived, but she steeled herself, knowing that they would need to check anyway.

EDI's voice rang out. "According to the briefing, Prime Minister Shastri had been observing a group of recruits out on the training grounds."

"The grounds that extend for miles and miles around the Villa," Shepard said with a sigh, remembering just how extensive those grounds felt to her as a trainee. "Does the briefing give any direction at all, or do we scour the grounds in their entirety?"

"Our intel states that this group was on a wilderness survival rotation."

"That helps," Shepard said gratefully. It did give her some direction, if very little. "O'Connor, set us down on the south lawn," she said. "Or what's left of it," she muttered, looking at the scorched earth.

"Aye aye, Commander," he said, subdued.

They all piled out of the shuttle, and turned, with trepidation, towards the Villa.

Shepard swallowed back bile as they made their way through the wreckage. Most of the building wasn't recognizable anymore, and the only human life they found were corpses.

"We can't lay them to rest," Shepard had said quietly. "Not when there may be people still alive that need our help."

Every now and then, something would seem familiar, but it only served to worsen the sick feeling in Shepard's stomach. Home was gone.

After a thorough search, Shepard turned towards the training grounds. With one last look at the remains of the Villa, she turned and led her crew into the jungle.

…

They spent the first two days hunting for any sign of a camp, finding it just in time to stop for the night. They spent the next few days following the trail. Fortunately, Shepard had taught the course a couple of times and knew what signs to look for. The path followed a fairly standard circuit, but Shepard knew that once the reapers hit, there was no telling what course the trainers would take. The instructors had access to radio and the extranet, even if their students did not, assuming communications had still been online once the reapers arrived. Would they have tried to return to the Villa? What would they have done once they found it destroyed?

Several days into the hike, the question of how the group learned of the reaper invasion was answered. Burned remnants of a camp remained, bodies strewn about it—both humans and marauders, burned nearly beyond recognition.

"Took them by surprise," Garrus said quietly. "An ambush. I'd guess they were hit before they knew anything definite about the reaper invasion."

"None of them appear to be Shastri," Kasumi said. "Not that we can be completely certain, given the state these bodies are in. But at least the path will be easy to follow."

Shepard sighed. "I can see that," she said quietly, looking in the direction the remaining recruits must have gone. They hadn't had time for stealth when they had run from the campsite. There were scorch marks, blood, and a few more bodies left along the route, which appeared to lead directly away from the Villa. "We'll continue following and pick up the pace. If reapers were already in the jungle, they could still be here. We need to be vigilant."

The trail soon became harder to follow, and Shepard had to search for more subtle signs. The recruits had learned their lesson well. They were following the path when Shepard stopped them, holding up a hand.

"Shepard?" Kasumi asked softly.

She shook her head, but slowly raised her gun with the others following suit. It was too quiet—something, or someone, was near.

"Drop your weapons!" came a voice from above.

All five of them looked up, and found the trees full of recruits, weapons pointed down at them.

"Don't be stupid," came a voice from another tree. "That's Commander Shepard."

"I'm here to collect Prime Minister Shastri," Shepard said, lowering her gun. "Is he with you?"

A few of the recruits glanced at each other, and with a few nods, began to jump down from the trees. A young woman who appeared to be leading them stepped forward and saluted. "I'm Lieutenant Commander Erics, ma'am. I'm glad you're here," she said, as Shepard returned her salute. "The PM is here, but he's injured. I'll take you to him."

Shepard looked around at the group, clocking their injuries and haunted eyes. "What happened?" she asked.

"Those turian reapers came at us tactically," another recruit told her. "They were cloaked, and blew up our instructors' tents before we knew we were under attack. The Prime Minister was injured in the initial attack. We've been on the run ever since."

"We'll get you out of here," Shepard reassured them. "We've got our ship nearby. The shuttle will pick everyone up."

"The closest pickup zone will be opposite the Villa at the beach," Erics said. "We're practically out of the jungle already. We were headed that way, hoping for…" She dropped her head, blinking back tears. "I don't know what we were hoping for."

Shepard put her hand on the young woman's shoulder. "We'll get you out of here safely," she reassured her. "The shuttle will meet us and we will get you off-world as soon as possible."

"For whatever good that will do," the woman said, her eyes weary. "We had extranet for a little while. They hit everything, didn't they?"

…

The prime minister was housed in a small makeshift shelter, camouflaged by leaves and vines. "Commander Shepard," he said wearily as she poked her head inside. "I'm very glad to see you."

He was of average height and build, with black hair and glittering dark eyes. His uniform was torn and dirty, and Shepard could see that his leg was in bad shape. "Are you able to walk, sir?" she asked.

"Not well," he admitted. "Two of the marines have to help me when we move. No one was certain if anyone was coming for us."

"I have a shuttle coming to meet us. If you can make it to the shuttle, we'll get you off-world."

"To where?" Shastri asked. "We've lost the extranet by now of course, but before the signal dropped, it didn't sound like anywhere was safe."

"Not everywhere is under attack," Shepard assured him, adding wryly, "Not yet, anyway. The homeworlds are being hit the hardest, but the Citadel is as safe as it ever was. We'll be bringing you to the Citadel, and from there you'll be taken to a secure location to await a summit between leaders of each species. You'll be essential in negotiating for humanity, sir."

She glanced outside at the recruits, who were preparing to move. "Can I help you up?" she asked.

"Please do," he said. "I am quite ready to leave this place. I don't think I shall be going camping ever again if I make it through this."

With the help of Shepard's crew, the recruits and Shastri were soon ready to leave. Two marines held Shastri between them as they slowly made their way out of the jungle.

They reached the beach after another day of travel, and Shepard sent their NavPoint to O'Connor. They were resting on the beach, waiting for the shuttle to arrive, when Solana, who was scanning the horizon, caught her attention.

"Commander?" Solana's voice was hesitant. "What exactly is that?" She pointed to a hill in the distance, but something wasn't right. It seemed as if the hill itself was moving.

Shepard squinted at first, and then her eyes widened. She pulled her sniper rifle to her eye. She turned it to the highest zoom setting, and when the blur cleared, her heart began to race. The hill wasn't moving, but it was covered in things that were. Hundreds of them. "God, they look like… like vorcha." But something was off. "Garrus?" She felt him beside her, pulling out his own rifle and peering through the scope. One of the vorcha looked up, and a gasp caught in her throat. She recognized the glow of those blue eyes. "Are you seeing what I'm seeing?" she asked him grimly.

"Reapers," he said, just as grimly.

"I don't know about you," she said decisively, collapsing her rifle, "but I don't want to be anywhere near here when they reach this spot." She turned to the milling group. "Everybody get ready to move!"

"O'Connor," she barked into her communicator. "Where the hell are you?"

"Just a couple minutes out," he replied in her ear. "Problem?"

"Big one," she said, watching how quickly the swarm seemed to move. "We've got a new reaper creature, and it's approaching fast."

Shepard stepped up next to Garrus, who was still staring through the scope at them. "No point in wasting your bullets," she said. "There's too many."

"How close is the shuttle?" he asked tersely.

"Not close enough." She motioned to the nervous group. "Everybody move! We're heading further down the beach." They couldn't run, not with Shastri, but any distance between them and those vorcha creatures was a good thing. O'Connor would follow her signal and meet them.

The vorcha creeped closer and closer down the beach towards them, until they knew they had been spotted. They could hear the chittering sounds echoing across the landscape.

"Got a plan?" Zaeed asked rudely, pointing his rifle at the vorcha. "If those things get here before the shuttle?"

"O'Connor will be here," Shepard said, forcing a calm into her voice that she didn't feel. She was cursing herself for not bringing a missile launcher. But even that, she could see, would only slow them down. There were just too many. Despite this, she held her weapon at the ready. She would never go down without a fight.

Just in time, it seemed, they heard the sounds of the shuttle over the din of the reaper creatures. "Get in!" Shepard cried, standing at the door until every person had climbed in. She pulled herself in, shouting at O'Connor to get moving. As the shuttle rose into the sky, Shepard watched as the land they had stood on was swarmed over by the vorcha husks. They reached up towards the shuttle, screeching and clawing at the air. She felt bile rising in her throat, but swallowed it down. They were safe. She couldn't think about Earth.

…

Crew were milling through the mess as they did at mealtimes, though things were a little more subdued than usual. The stop on Earth had shaken the humans on the crew. Tali gave a nod to Rupert as she picked up her nutrient packets and turned to go, pausing when she saw Garrus enter the mess.

She approached him, putting a hand on his arm. "How is she?"

He shook his head. "I haven't seen her yet. It seemed like she needed to be alone for a while. Of all the places on Earth to go…"

"I know," Tali said, voice full of emotion. "I'm worried about her. The longer all this goes on, the less we all see of her. When she's up there alone… I worry about what she's doing, what she's thinking."

"Sometimes she needs to be alone," Garrus countered. "But I stay with her as much as I can."

"Thank you, Garrus," Tali said, squeezing her friend's arm before stepping back. "For taking such good care of her, for all of us."

Garrus, uncomfortable with praise, gave a jerky nod before heading to Rupert and grabbing two meal trays. Tali stared after him for a long moment before turning away. Just as she was about to head down to engineering, she saw Solana enter the mess. She headed over, intent on speaking with her new turian friend. With Garrus busy taking care of Shepard, someone had to make sure that Solana felt welcome. After all, the few dextros on the Normandy should stick together.

…

When Shepard had boarded the Normandy, she settled the injured in the med bay and the rest of the marines in the lounge, requesting that Kaidan coordinate their new placement with the Alliance. She held it together until she reached her quarters, only then allowing a few lone tears to fall.

Quietly and methodically she removed her armor and cleaned it, stowing it away like she always did. Numbly, she climbed into the shower and let the water wash over her. She scrubbed away the remnants of Earth from her skin, wondering if she would ever see it again. Was this was Garrus felt when they left Menae? But no, there had been no time then for worry and recriminations. Harbinger had kept them busy, kept them fighting for their lives.

Now there was time to think, to mourn her once-home. Too much time. When she finally left the shower, she buried herself in work. There were reports to write and messages to read. But she stayed tucked away in her quarters, not ready to see anyone yet.

After a few hours, there was a knock at her door. She steeled herself, and called, "Come in," only to see Garrus with two trays of food. "I was wondering where you were," she said, shoulders sagging in relief.

Garrus moved down the stairs, setting down the two trays on the table. He shrugged. "I thought you might need to be alone for a little while." He always did see too much.

"I did," Shepard admitted, shutting down her terminal to join him. "The Villa was one of the few places I ever called home."

He opened his arms to her and she sank into them gratefully. He sighed. "You've lost too many homes," he said.

"You can't lose what you don't have," she replied.

"True," he agreed. "But that's no way to live your life."

He released her, and they sat down to eat. "When this is over," he said, "We can find a new one."

…