Transition
It was a strange feeling, knowing that his time was running out. Charlie wondered if this was what Ellie had felt like when they told her about the cancer. He wished he were creative enough for a bucket list.
Every morning, Charlie picked up a box of donuts from Harry and Rudi on the way to the station. He let the people in town gossip about him and Harry. He rolled his eyes when they talked about the young doctor walking out on his barren wife. On Sundays, Charlie had pancakes for breakfast.
Every morning tasted sweeter because the clock on his human life was ticking.
"You'll be a fat vampire if you're not careful," Bella said as she spread Nutella on her toast. Charlie turned to Edward, who'd basically moved in now that his siblings had left Forks.
"The turning burns a lot of energy, but it's possible if you have enough adipose tissue," Edward said. The boy was scowling out the window at the sun peeking through the clouds. He was fiddling with his mobile.
"Nobody will mind if you're a bit chubby," Harry said. He put more eggs in the middle of the table. It would be a lot easier if Harry would stop cooking for three.
"I'll keep that in mind, dear."
"Would you like to come over for dinner today?" Edward asked.
Charlie sighed. "Sure." More food. His football days had been a long time ago, but it was time to get out his trainers. "I'm going for a run before lunch."
"Sure, dad." Bella smiled.
The dishes floated to the sink and started washing themselves. Harry held his magic wand like a conductor's baton. "Your shoes are in the bedroom closet. I'll go visit Esme," he said once Bella and Edward had gone into the sunroom. "She needs the company."
It was good that Edward was a prude, otherwise Charlie would worry about him and Bella alone in the house.
"Thanks." Charlie kissed Harry's cheek. "Have fun."
.oOo.
There was magic here, vibrant, older than even Marcus was. It ran through his fingers like an orchestra playing the sweetest melodies.
Marcus drank animal blood when Harry brought him deer. It was convenient, perhaps not dissimilar to the muggle system of take-away. Marcus wasn't sure how long he'd been sitting, just listening to the great spruce he'd chosen by the river on the Cullen property. She never said any words, but the gentle presence under his fingertips made him feel like he wasn't alone.
The humans had visited the house that evening. Marcus heard them leaving again, then Harry's soft footsteps. He opened his eyes to see the man's face tilted up at the moon.
"She's listening to you, too," Harry said without looking. "It's been three weeks. You're not getting closer to her unless you share who you are."
"What do I say, and to whom?" There were mosquitos humming near the river. The cicadas in the bush beside him didn't stop singing, even when Harry jostled the leaf-littered ground as he sat.
"Magic, the moon, life, death. They're all waiting for you to open." Harry's eyes were closed. Marcus could feel the song in the trees change to something warmer. It felt like a greeting.
"I don't understand," he said.
"Tell the trees about Didyme?"
Marcus opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He tried again, and again.
"She was beautiful," he finally whispered. "It was impossible not to love her."
The leaves stirred in a gust of summer wind. Marcus cleared his throat.
"She had the most amazing soul. Her greatest wish was for everyone to be whole, I believe. It killed her, when we did nothing to stop her manic episodes. Aro allowed Didyme everything, even as a human. She'd always been sick, destructive. It was impossible not to forgive her."
The trees did not move, nor answer. "Go on," Harry said.
"I loved her like a moth loves the moon." Still, he couldn't raise his voice above a whisper. He looked up and there she was, completely unreachable. "She was the heart of my world, I wanted only to be near her. Every time I got close, her touch burned me, and I could not stop myself from returning to her embrace again."
Against his back, he felt the spruce humming.
"I thought we would live forever. She was so brilliantly, vibrantly, beautifully alive. We all loved her, but I hope I loved her most of all. It was her gift, to be loved."
"What happened?"
Harry's eyes were glowing. He had a pebble in his hands, Harry was always fiddling with something.
"I don't know," Marcus said, choking over the words.
"Oh, m'amor."
He had not heard that voice in a thousand years, yet his mind had pressed it like a flower in a book. "Didyme," he breathed. Harry was looking at something that Marcus couldn't see.
"Marcus. I am sorry. So sorry. I could stand it no more. I would ruin things always, you three were ever building while I forever tore apart."
Marcus stared. He could not see her. He glanced up at the moon, she was laughing at him. "Suicide," he said, the word bitter tar on his tongue. He'd thought, there had been rumors—
"I'm sorry. It seems to all be so petty now. Selfish."
"I forgive you," Marcus said without even thinking. It had always been that way, Didyme was light itself.
"It's not me whom you must forgive, but yourself. I beg you, Marcus, m'amor."
"She can't stay much longer," Harry said. There was blood on his face. Marcus had never witnessed a vampire's nose bleed.
"Forget me, Marcus. Or despise me. Tell my brother, also, I loved and loathed my life, I am glad that I end—"
Marcus blinked. He felt empty.
A different kind of emptiness than grief. That had been damp, now it echoed.
"Aaaahhhh!" he screamed. The cicadas stopped. Inside the house, something crashed to the floor. The earthworms and insects continued, unbothered.
The feelings came back to him like waves. For a moment, Marcus was not sure who he was, despite perfectly recalling everything he had ever been.
"Didyme is gone," Harry said. "You don't have to let her haunt you anymore."
There were no words. Marcus wished he could sleep.
"Are you alright, dears?" Esme called out the window. Behind her, the house glowed a warm yellow.
"Try talking to the magic now," Harry said. "She likes to listen." Then the man got up and walked away as if he hadn't shattered the bedrock of Marcus' very identity.
Empty, Marcus told the tree. Broken.
Infinite, the spruce whispered. Whole.
.oOo.
When Carlisle came back he stopped by the station to shake Charlie's hand. In front of three witnesses, he explained he'd been helping his four eldest settle into college dorms. The news would have spread by dark. Current rumours included Mrs Vane's theory that the doctor got abducted by aliens. Like Billy said, Vane'd drown herself in the bottle if she didn't buy her wine boxed.
Overnight, Esme was almost back to her usual happy self. Charlie still caught her staring out the windows at times, but didn't ask. He knew what it was like to be missing a child, he didn't want to imagine four.
Down at La Push, Billy said there hadn't been any more kids turning. Charlie was glad, and on his next fishing trip he said so.
"I wanted to be one once," Billy said.
"Huh?"
"A wolf. I dreamed of running fast as the wind through these forests." Billy laughed, then whacked the arm of his chair. "It was a stupid dream."
"I guess we never know what our lives will turn out like," Charlie said.
He couldn't believe school had already started again. Even the boring things like traffic duty flew by now.
"You'll always be my friend, Charlie Swan," Billy said. He was fiddling with his rod.
"Don't scare the fish," Charlie answered. They sat like that for a while, watching the river. Charlie wished Bella were here, she was clever with words. "Billy," he said, "I promise I'll never try to eat you."
They both laughed, but it wasn't like it used to be. The whole time sitting on that pier, Charlie felt his time running out.
.oOo.
Halloween was never good to Harry. His head might not remember everything, but his body did. Harry moved through the day like it was covered in eggshells.
Harry had forgotten a lot of things when Voldemort killed the bit of his own soul that used to live in Harry's head. It was strange, being able to recall things that had been gone for so long. Not good-strange, not even bad-strange. But Harry knew he'd been happier before, and he missed it sometimes.
"Come inside, Marcus," Harry called. He didn't have to raise his voice, but it was hard to stop doing things the way he'd always done them.
The pumpkins Harry'd carved sat by the door. A few kids had already come trick-or-treating. It got dark early; they'd be setting the clocks back soon.
"I travelled through time once," Harry told them at the dinner table. "We saved a hippogriff's life." He wondered what hippogriff would taste like, but he knew some things shouldn't be said out loud.
"I think I remember hippogriffs," Marcus said. "I was a boy. My father was teaching me to ride, then the horse started flying."
"That was an Abraxan," Edward said.
Harry wished Edward would stop snooping. He hadn't figured out how to teach Marcus Occlumency. They didn't know why, but the vampire was really great with runes. Together they'd switched from corks to little silver disks. Working with Marcus reminded him of Hermione, except that he smelled of sage and hazel.
The doorbell rang. Harry got up, taking another bag of sweets.
It wasn't children. A nomad stood on the property, nevermind the wards. "We heard you keep a human," she said. Her hair was the colour of fire. "The Volturi said not to come here, but…"
"Did they also say not to hunt in the area?"
When she nodded, Harry held the door open for her to come in.
Edward loomed in the doorway to the kitchen. "Either you leave, Victoria, or I'll kill you."
Harry sighed and fingered his wand. He wished he were between Victoria and his family, too, but if she'd gotten past his protections, she couldn't be that bad.
"I heard she's a shield," Victoria whispered. "The greatest Aro has ever seen. I just want to see her."
She shot forward, dodging around Edward, then—
—the wards rumbled, lurched, and they were gone.
Harry rushed out the door. When he found Edward on the property line he was standing next to a pile of limbs. "Incendio," Harry said. Victoria turned to purple smoke.
They walked back to the house slowly. "Next time, you can answer the door."
Harry had forgotten a lot of his life, and then he'd remembered it. And now, looking at the cracked door frame and damaged drywall, he understood why he'd been feeling antsy all day.
Bad things always did happen on Halloween.
.oOo.
"It's a bit weird when you stare like that," Bella said.
Harry smiled. "Sorry." He didn't turn away, though. Harry wasn't good at subtext.
"Do you miss it?" she asked. Despite that the turkey was too big for just her and Charlie, they were making a good attempt. Charlie was on his third portion; his new year's resolution was to join Bella on her runs.
"I miss having solid things in my mouth. Chewing. Also, sunlight. We didn't get much in Scotland either, but there's nothing like watching the sunrise over water."
"You're an odd duck, Harry," Charlie said.
Bella watched them laugh. She didn't know why the sight had her heart aching. Harry used his magic to clear the table. It was mesmerising to see the sauce pour itself neatly into a Tupperware. Then Harry got up, pecked Charlie on the cheek, and went to put things into the new fridge.
This year, Charlie was big on traditions. He'd sent her to Renée's for Thanksgiving, but Christmas was for the Swans. Once they could move, they put on their raincoats to walk through the streets looking at the lights.
"Where did you put your shoes?" Charlie asked.
Bella thought it looked strange the way Harry's breath didn't fog. She wondered if Charlie was ever going to give up on telling him to wear shoes now that he didn't need them any more.
Maybe once Charlie became a vampire he'd stop worrying about silly human things. She looked at the two of them hand in hand and thought they were the most perfect human sight she'd ever seen.
.oOo.
His time was almost up. Harry wasn't scared, being scared didn't help. It was much harder being a Gryffindor when you knew it was other people doing the hurting for you. "It's going to be fine," he said.
"You keep saying that," Charlie replied. He was still watching the TV, even though the game was over.
"Bella's going to be fine, too."
"That girl's a magnet for trouble." Charlie sighed, leaning into Harry. Harry wished he were soft. He wished he could jump forward in time to a year from now, when everything would be alright again.
Sometimes, he even wished he could jump back to a year ago, when he hadn't known who he was. Everything had been simpler then.
"We should sell the house if we're going straight to Italy after," Charlie said.
Harry didn't want to sell the house. "We should," he said. It was a reasonable thing to do.
It would also be reasonable to wear shoes, to wear his seatbelt in the car, to cook for the number of people that were eating. Harry wasn't so good at reasonable. Books and cleverness were for other people, not him.
"It's okay if we don't," Charlie murmured.
Harry wrapped an arm around him and pressed his nose into the man's shirt. It smelled of sweat and grass. Charlie had mown the lawn after he came home from work. He said his lawn was his pride, but Harry knew he just liked the way the engine reminded him of Billy's motorboat.
"Marcus says he'll miss the trees here. Maybe we can convince him to stay a bit longer?" Harry asked.
"No. They make the rules, we follow them. It's the way things are done."
Harry sighed. "I don't want you to burn. It hurts, Charlie."
"It's three days. We pack off Bells to college, we pack our bags and say our goodbyes, and then we're going to Italy."
"D'you think they have trees in Italy?" Harry thought of the olive trees he'd seen pictures of, of walnuts and figs.
Would they have any magic left to give if they were so busy making fruit?
"I don't know."
Harry squeezed his hand. They kissed. Harry could tell Charlie was scared too, even more than that first time they'd made love. "It's going to be fine," Harry promised.
"You keep saying that." Charlie smiled, pressing their heads together. "One of these days, I'm going to believe it."
I missed a few updates, so keep an eye out for the backlog going up over the next weeks. Thanks for reading :)