There had been dementors on the fucking train. Dementors. What the everliving fuck had the Ministry been thinking? He'd heard Harry had fainted, which meant the fucking thing had been in the carriage with his children.
The arriving students gaped at him as he paced, robes billowing dramatically, desperate to lay eyes on Hermione and Harry. He fought the urge to snarl at them. Gawping little fuckers. Where the fuck were they? Why were they taking so long?
He saw them finally, shakily exiting the carriage, with two Weasley's and Longbottom behind them, Lupin stepped out of the last carriage, his eyes landing immediately on Harry. Hermione was pale, shaking and terrified. She had clearly been crying, beside her, clutching her hand like a lifeline, Harry didn't look much better. She gave a small cry that shot through him when she spotted him at the doors, dragging Harry as she ran, letting go of the boy's hand only seconds before she launched herself at him, much to the surprise of the students still milling about. And apparently, the two Weasleys. Longbottom nudged them to get them to move the moment Hermione had started to run, clearly having got used to the idea of him being her parent over the summer. He glanced over the top of her head to where Harry was standing looking lost. He rolled his eyes and sighed. He was going to have to do this wasn't he? Albus was going to be fucking furious. Oh well.
He held out an arm, still slightly surprised when the boy rushed into it, clinging to him as he buried his face in his buttons. If he'd thought the students looked stunned, it was nothing compared to the look of complete bewilderment on Remus Lupin's face as he watched him hug Harry bloody Potter to him, murmuring soothing nonsense to the two shaken teens. He caught Minerva's startled then approving look as she surveyed them, ushering the gossiping students into the hall. It was one way to announce his relationship to Hermione he supposed.
Remus cleared his throat, his face carefully blank. "I can take the children to Poppy if you need to get to the feast, Severus. After all, you are a Head of House where I am not."
He felt both teens tighten their arms around him, they needn't have, he was nowhere near ready to let either of them go. He hadn't even found out what had happened yet and he'd be damned if he was handing them over to the wolf until he bloody well knew they were alright. "I don't give a damn if I'm Head of House," he snarled, "the children are perfectly fine where they are."
Remus looked at him wide eyed, as if unable to comprehend what he was hearing. "I see," he said slowly.
"I doubt that you do." Severus sighed. He'd promised Hermione he'd at least try and let go of some of the anger for his own sake. He could do that couldn't he? Be civil? He could pretend he was an adult. "Hermione is my daughter." he explained grudgingly. "Harry has spent the majority of the summer in our home. Tell Minerva I've taken them to my rooms. I won't be at the feast this evening."
"Your….? Your daughter?" Remus spluttered as if the concept didn't make sense.
He manoeuvred the children so they were able to walk, keeping an arm around their shoulders. "Yes." he said shortly, before softening his voice. "Come along. I'm sure the elves will feed us in my rooms. Honestly, I leave you alone for five minutes and you're already up to mischief."
The children gave reluctant laughs before Harry spoke wryly. "Well, we'd be bored without it, you know."
"I think I'd prefer it if you were bored." he replied with an eye roll as they walked toward his rooms leaving a stunned Remus behind them. He paused, turning slightly, "If you could let the youngest Mr Weasley know that they're alright, it'd be much appreciated, and if you could also ask Minerva to pass on the message to Draco Malfoy and Susan Bones, I'm sure they'd be grateful."
Remus gave him a wide eyed nod, watching as he ushered the children down the hall and into the dungeons.
Severus sat on the sofa in his rooms, with a teen on either side. "Does someone want to tell me what happened?"
"Professor Lupin said it was a dementor." Hermione whispered, burrowing closer to him. "He drove it away with….a light of some kind?"
"A patronus." Severus replied, stroking a hand down her hair.
"Can we learn it?" Harry asked, his face still concerningly pale.
"It's advanced magic." he replied slowly, wondering if it was even possible to teach two third years how to cast the charm. "I'm not saying I will not teach you but you must be prepared for it to be a significant amount of work."
They both nodded, "Please." Harry whispered.
"Of course." Severus moved to wrap an arm around his shoulders, the boy almost fell into him with relief. It struck Severus how unsure the boy still was of how to ask for physical comfort and he berated himself for not having considered it given his upbringing. Then again, given his own upbringing, it was hardly surprising. He'd only begun learning after Hermione had forced him to.
"I could hear her screaming," he whispered.
Severus tensed. "Your mother?"
"Yes." the word was torn out of him with a sob. "At least I think so."
Severus pulled him closer, hating the unsettling feeling of hearing that Lily had died screaming, wondering how much fucking worse it was to have to hear it in your head.
"It's alright" he murmured as Harry sobbed, "It's going to be alright."
How the fuck it was going to be alright now the boy had heard that he had no fucking idea. He could cheerfully murder Albus. Fucking dementors. Black had gotten past the damn things to escape Azkaban, how the fuck anyone thought surrounding the school with them was wise was beyond him. Next year, he was taking them both bloody with him when he returned to school, regardless of whether they wanted him to or not. His blood pressure couldn't handle this.
The children fell asleep curled into each other on the sofa after they had eaten, both still pale, clutching one another as if scared the other would disappear. Severus realised as he looked down at his daughter's face that he hadn't asked her what she had heard. While it couldn't be the death of a parent, he wondered if her mother and grandfather featured in her worst memories. Fuck he needed to be better at this. He should have fucking asked.
He was momentarily startled by a small elf appearing next to him informing him that the Headmaster wanted to see him. Sighing, Severus took one last look at his children before covering them with a blanket and stalking towards the Headmasters office. He sent a quick patronus to Minerva asking her to meet him there just in case. Nothing good was going to come from this chat, he could feel it and he wanted a damn witness. Gone were the days of Dumbledore manipulating him because he had no back up.
"Do I want to ask?" Minerva grimaced as she met him at the foot of the stairs to Dumbledore's office.
"Truthfully I don't know, I was summoned by an elf. He's very lucky Harry and Hermione are asleep."
Minerva's face softened."How are they?"
Severus scrubbed a hand over his face. "Shaken. Harry heard Lily screaming as she died."
Minerva blanched. "That poor boy."
Severus hummed. "Indeed, let's get this over with. I have no idea how long they'll sleep and have no urge to be here when they finally wake."
Nodding, Minerva followed him up the stairs stopping just at the top and casting a silencing bubble, "Severus?" he hummed looking at her questioningly, "When were you going to tell me you had taken over guardianship of the boy? I shouldn't have had to hear it from Augusta."
"Fuck." he muttered, "Honestly, I meant to. It became necessary when he admitted Petunia's didn't feel like home."
"You're prepared for Albus to be an arse?"
"Is he ever anything else, Min?" Severus sighed, "The children sealed their sibling bond, what was I supposed to do?"
"Admit you care for the boy?" Minerva replied, amused.
"I….." Severus sighed, defeated, "He's as much mine as Hermione is." he said finally.
Minerva nodded decisively, "Good. That's all I needed to know. Come along my boy, let's get this over with before your children wake and wonder where you are."
She cancelled the charm and preceded him into the office. Severus caught the surprised look on both Lupin and Albus' faces. Good. Keeping that old goat unsettled was always a wise plan.
"Minerva, I wasn't expecting you." Albus attempted a smile.
"No, I imagine you weren't." she replied shortly, making herself comfortable.
"This isn't really a conversation…." Albus began before she cut him off.
"No. I learned some things last year and over the summer that I'm not overly happy with, Albus. We've all had enough of your secrets. Now, I'll be remaining here so you might as well begin."
Albus lost his twinkle and sighed. "This is entirely unnecessary Minerva."
"Is it?" she asked archly.
He sighed, gesturing to Lupin. "Remus had some….concerns."
"About?" Severus asked bitingly.
"I want to know what you're doing with Harry." Remus stated.
"He and my daughter share a sibling bond, as I explained in the hallway he spent the vast majority of his summer in my home."
"A sibling bond?" Remus spluttered looking horrified.
"Yes. They sealed it over the summer, they've been friends since first year. I should warn you now, I promised Hermione I would attempt civility with you, Lupin but I would be very careful of what you say next, I will not tolerate you insulting her."
"Why would Hermione make you promise that, Severus?" Albus cut in, his eyes hard.
"I explained our history." he replied blandly, out of the corner of his eye he saw Remus pale.
"You told them?" he asked, horrified.
"Yes. My daughter is the biggest bleeding heart you will meet. Regardless of my opinion of you she will make up her own mind." he sighed, "Neither she nor Harry will say anything if that's what you're worried about, they'll judge you on your own merits, not on a condition you have no control of. Although I warn you, she's scarily protective of those who are hers."
"You you mean?" Remus bit out.
Severus shrugged, "Not just me. She has more than one Slytherin in her acquaintance, she won't tolerate discrimination against them either."
"You had no right to do that, Severus." Albus voiced, his face set.
"Just as you had no right to threaten me with expulsion while protecting the boy who tried to murder me. I will protect my children, Albus and I cannot do that unless they are fully informed."
"You said you had a daughter not more than one child!" Remus yelped, attempting to figure out how many students knew about his condition.
Severus froze, fuck. He hadnt meant to let that slip, he had become complacent over the summer.
"I took over Harry's guardianship with the support of Augusta Longbottom over the summer." he said finally. Both Remus and Albus looked horrified.
"You cannot do that!" Albus thundered. Severus placed a hand on Minerva's arm as she went to move.
"Oh? And yet I did. The wards fell the moment the boy said my house felt more like home than Petunia's." He paused looking pointedly at Albus, "Did you even notice? Did anyone check?"
"Petunia's?" Remus cut in, "Lily's sister?" he looked absolutely horrified, his eyes begging the Headmaster to say he was wrong.
"Oh yes, didn't Albus tell you? He had the saviour of the wizarding world living under blood wards in an abusive muggle house. He slept in the fucking cupboard under the stairs until he was eleven! It's no wonder the poor boy saw me as a better bloody option. I'm having to engage a mind healer for him in the hopes that he isn't irrevocably damaged by almost thirteen years of abuse and starvation!"
Remus looked like he wanted to vomit, while Albus looked livid. "You forget your place!"
"No!" Severus growled, "You forget yours! You are the Headmaster of this school, nothing more. You do not get a say in my children's lives, you do not get to demand compliance when you willfully ignore the damage your scheming causes. You summoned me here with the intention of berating me like a fucking child because I treated an abused, firghtened boy like a human being. Well fuck you old man, you're no longer in control of the game."
Remus was looking at him like nothing in the world made sense any more. Albus opened his mouth to speak. "No. I've listened to you enough for one night. I'm going back to my quarters to wait on my traumatised children waking up after they were in the presence of a fucking dementor. If you have questions about my classes or schedule you can speak to me in the morning."
Minerva grinned at him as he swept out of the office and down the stairs. He could hear her warming up to a rant as he left.
"Severus! Wait!"
Growling Severus turned, "Yes?"
"I…..I apologise. I had no idea what was going on."
Severus froze. On one hand he wanted to tell the wolf to fuck off….on the other he had promised Hermione. And damn it if the little witch didn't have a way of finding everything out. So he nodded, turning to leave.
"Severus?"
"Yes?"
"Can I…..can I come with you? I'd like to check Harry is alright too." he looked momentarily uncomfortable before continuing. "He's still pack. The wolf is restless."
Severus sighed, he very much wanted to say no but he wasn't stupid, he knew how difficult that had been for Remus to admit. "Very well."
Remus looked stunned, clearly having expected a fight but he rushed to follow him regardless.
The children were sitting huddled on the sofa, still half asleep when they returned. "Where did you go?" Harry asked in a small voice, his grip on Hermione tight.
"The Headmaster wanted to see me," he soothed, sitting between them when they moved to make space and pulling them both close, leaving Remus hovering in the doorway. "Well, sit down."
Remus jumped, moving to sit on the sofa across from them staring at the three of them like he couldn't believe what he was seeing.
"Father?" Hermione queried softly from his side.
"I'm sure you remember Professor Lupin from the train." Both children nodded but didn't speak, watching Remus warily.
"I came to see if you were both ok." he said softly.
They nodded again.
"Your Aunt Cissa would be appalled by your manners." Severus chided gently, making both children laugh and move to sit up straight.
"Our apologies, Father. How do you do, Professor Lupin?" Hermione intoned in an exaggerated manner making Remus laugh.
"Very well Miss…Snape?"
"Granger-Snape." Hermione corrected. Remus looked startled but nodded. "I wonder how that's going to go down tomorrow." she mused.
"Pardon?"
"I was adopted." Hermione supplied, "Father only learned of my existence last year. This will be the first year with Snape added onto my name, I imagine there'll be a reaction from those we didn't see over the summer."
Remus looked momentarily stunned before he laughed, "Oh my. Yes, I imagine tomorrow will be interesting for you then."
"Wait until they find out we're also siblings." Harry said wryly. "They won't know what to gossip about first."
"Perhaps we should let slip that Neville spent the day with Father and didn't die?" Hermione suggested impishly making Harry giggle and Severus roll his eyes. "You're going to have to be nicer to him this year you know, or he'll owl Mum."
Severus glowered at her, "As your mother cannot come to Hogwarts, I think I'm safe."
Hermione grinned, "No….but she and Aunt Cissa and Amelia got on so well…" she trailed off pointedly. "Oh and Grandmother is coming to visit when the board meets in a fortnight!"
Severus groaned, muttering "For fucks sake." under his breath. "What did I do to deserve Annalise here?"
"She's going to shout at Professor Dumbledore. We're really hoping she does it in the Great Hall." Hermione replied gleefully.
Severus was unable to hold back the huff of laughter at that. "I'm sure we all do, my girl."
Remus stared at them, seeming to question his sanity as he watched Severus Snape act like a human being in the presence of two teenagers who clearly didn't fear him in the slightest. He had heard rumours of the man's reputation as a teacher but now he was questioning everything he had ever believed. Nothing made sense, least of all the way James Potter's son leant into the man for comfort like he knew it would be given.
Severus' eyes landed on Harry and Hermione from the staff table, they looked much better than they had the previous night as they chatted with multiple Weasley's and Longbottom. He decided then that he hated the distance, he couldn't hear a word they were saying and he was used to being able to discuss their day over breakfast.
Out of the corner of his eye he saw the entire student population stiffen as Draco Malfoy and Theodore Nott entered the Great Hall, Daphne trailing sleepily in their wake and instead of going to the Slytherin table moved to sit at the Gryffindor one, Theo squashed himself in between Neville and Hermione, immediately wrapping his arms around her a murmuring something in her ear sending Severus' blood pressure through the roof. He was going to fucking murder that boy. At his side, Minerva hid her smile and pulled him back down to sitting.
"It's just a cuddle." she murmured.
"He has his fucking hands on her like he has a right to!" he all but howled.
Minerva snorted, "Hardly Severus, you're being dramatic!".
They watched as Draco forced his way into the bench at Hermione's other side. Severus felt a small amount of amusement penetrate his ire at the sight of Draco squashed into Harry's side, neither boy looking particularly upset by that turn of events, at least they were still keeping their hands to themselves. Daphne rolled her eyes and sat between the startled youngest Weasleys, beckoning Susan over from the doors of the Great Hall. The girl shrugged, dragging Hannah Abott over with her as she hugged Harry and Hermione from behind, speaking directly into their ears before moving to sit with Neville, sending Hannah to sit by Ron.
"Well this year just got ten times more interesting," Minerva muttered.
Remus watched the scene with interest from Severus' other side, "So those are your daughters Slytherins." he mused.
"Yes. You have my permission to do what you like with Mr Nott but Hermione is rather fond of Mr Malfoy and Miss Greengrass."
Remus snorted, "She seems fonder of Mr Nott." he replied dryly making Minerva snigger.
Severus glared at him, whatever he had been about to say cut off by the arrival of Albus who did a visible double take at the students sat at the Gryffindor table. His narrowed eyes shot to Severus as he walked to the staff table. Forcibly rearranging his face into one of passivity he gave a bland smile as he sat down. "Students are expected to eat at their own House tables." he said mildly, reaching for bacon.
"But there are no rules saying they have to" Minerva shot back, "And isn't inter house unity a wonderful thing?"
Severus hid his smile in his coffee as many of his colleagues agreed enthusiastically before Albus could speak. One- nil to Minerva.
Severus paused as he caught Minerva frowning slightly as she handed Hermione her timetable after breakfast, what was wrong with it? Damn it, he still handn't fucking asked her what she was taking. He'd already given Draco, Theo and Daphne theirs though so he couldn't go back. For fucks sake, he was going to have corner Minerva later and find out what had worried her about it. Was the girl taking bloody Divination? She wasnt that stupid, surely? He knew she wasnt that stupid, he consoled himself, there was no way she was taking Divination. So what was it about her timetable that concerned Minerva?
He handed out the remainder of his House's timetables as quickly as possible in the hopes of catching Hermione before she left. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Albus approach her, murmuring something before she followed him out of the Great Hall, Harry, Theo and Draco looking concerned in their wake. Fuck. What the fuck was going on?
"Sir?" A small voice asked, he glanced down to find one his new first years looking at him.
"Yes, Mr…..?"
"Abernathy, Sir."
"Well Mr Abernathy, what is it?" Inside he was howling at the boy to hurry the fuck up.
"I…it seems like….are we allowed to sit at other House tables? My cousin was sorted into Ravenclaw but we just assumed we weren't but those Slytherins sat at the Gryffindor table this morning…" he trailed off, looking up at him hopefully.
"There are no rules that forbid it, Mr Abernathy. However, perhaps it would be wise to sit at your own table sometimes to get to know your housemates?"
The boy grinned back at him, "Thanks, Sir!"
Severus nodded, finishing handing out the timetables and moving swiftly towards Harry.
"Where is your sister?"
"Dumbledore wanted to see her." he said,the worry still on his face. "She seemed to know what it was about though."
Severus hummed, "Very well, go to class, I imagine she'll head straight there after her chat with the Headmaster."
Harry nodded slowly, "She should have Runes with me, so hopefully she'll turn up.
Draco nudged Theo, "Come on, mate, we have charms." Theo hummed, his eyes still on the door Hermione had left through, startling slightly when Draco sighed and dragged him from the Great Hall.
Severus sent an elf to Bathsheba asking her to let him know if Hermione arrived before stalking down to the Dungeons for his first class. What the fuck was Albus up to?
The elf returning moments after the beginning of class, informing him that his daughter was indeed in class, wasn't quite enough to settle his nerves. What the fuck had been so important that Albus had to speak with her before her first class? Maybe he should ask Saul, he mused, Hermione must have recorded it. With that thought he finally settled down and slipped back into his teaching persona.
Severus entered the Great Hall for lunch and heard his name being whispered all around the room. His eyes met Hermione's and she offered a small shrug, sighing, he realised that their secret was out.
"It's all anyone has been able to talk about since this morning." Minerva said as he sat down.
"Fucking wonderful." Severus sighed, "We always knew there would be talk."
"I must admit to having seen this coming." The breathy voice of Sybil Trelawany floated down the table, "The tea leaves never lie." Minerva covered her laugh with a cough, making Sybill glare, losing some of her dreamyness. "It must be such a burden to possess no inner eye, Minerva. It's a shame your daughter's aura is similarly closed off, Severus. I knew the moment she set foot in my class."
Severus froze. "Forgive me, Sybil….Hermione is in your class?"
The woman blinked at him owlishly, "Where else would one attempt to learn the noble art of Divination?
Fuck. Fucking fuckity fuck! He should have bloody spoken to her. What the fuck was she thinking! He had been so damn sure she would take Arithmancy and Runes. He resolved to speak with her as soon as classes were over, this was absurd. How the fuck was he going to sit through her potions class without shaking the girl for her idiocy?
Minerva was looking at Sybil strangely. "You're sure Miss Granger-Snape was in your class, Sybil?" she asked, her brow creased.
"Yes, I think I would recognise one of my students."
Minerva hummed, "Bathsheba, Miss Granger- Snape attended your lesson this morning?"
Bathsheba blinked, "Yes, bright girl you've got there, Severus."
Severus acknowledged her compliment before turning to Minerva. "What is it?"
Her frown deepened. "Runes and Divination for Gryffindor house are scheduled at the same time. There is no way for Hermione to have been in both classes."
Severus froze. "Pardon?"
"You heard me! It makes no sense. I thought the timetable was just….malfunctioning."
"I'll speak to her after dinner." he sighed, "I'm sure there's an innocent explanation." Minerva nodded, still looking concerned.
"I have the third year Gryffindor's after you," Remus voiced from beside him, "Any tips?"
Minerva snorted, "Watch Finnegan, he could cause an explosion in an empty room."
Remus laughed, "I'm doing Bogart's, hopefully he won't set fire to the staff room then."
"You're doing Bogart's in front of the entire class?" Severus asked horrified.
Remus faltered for a moment, "I will of course offer a privacy screen for those who wish it."
"They are Gryffindors!" Severus groaned. "For fucks sake you cant challenge them like that none of them will back down! But no teenager needs their entire class aware of their biggest fear."
Remus snorted, his eyes losing some of their focus as he remembered his own school years, "Fair point. I'll put the screens up before we enter."
Beside him Minerva patted his arm with a fond smile, "Good boy." she murmured, making him roll his eyes. Patronising witch.
Severus was antsy throughout the entirety of his third year class. He needed to know what the fuck was going on with his daughter. His daughter who had partnered Longbottom again and was therefore saving them all from being blown up. Although Longbottom seemed more competent than usual and far less scared of him. Perhaps there was hope for the boy yet.
"Hermione. Stay." he shouted over the noise of the class packing up.
He saw her roll her eyes and mutter "Will I also offer a paw?" making Longbottom laugh. The entirety of the class went silent, clearly waiting on his outburst.
"That seems excessive, my girl." he said instead.
"Bloody hell!" Finnegan muttered from the back of the room. Severus could hear Draco and Theo patiently explaining to Crabbe and Goyle exactly why Severus wasn't screaming about detention and house point loss. They didn't seem to be getting it. He arched a brow. "What are you waiting on? Class is over!" At that all of them scrambled for the door. He spotted Harry hovering and rolled his eyes. "Come and see me after dinner, Hermione."
Hermione frowned at him. "What for?"
"Desperate not to associate with me so quickly." he sighed exaggeratedly. "I'm truly hurt, my girl. I just wish to speak to you."
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Fine." She flung her arms around him squeezing him tight "I'll never not want to associate with you." she whispered. Strangely he felt like he wanted to cry.
His eyes scanned the Great Hall at dinner, landing on Harry, then Susan, then Draco and Theo. She wasn't there. Where the fuck was she?
"How is Hermione?" Remus asked from beside him.
"What?" he snarled, his nerves frayed, something wasn't right. He had no idea what but he could feel it.
Remus frowned,"Hermione. She was quite badly affected by her Bogart. Not that she would tell me what it was and she managed to banish it within the time limit so I had no need to check."
"You have no idea what her Bogart was?" Severus looked at him horrified. "And you just let her leave?"
"No…and Severus, she was adamant she was fine. I cannot force students to accept help."
"You could have told me!"
"I'm telling you now."
Sepitma Vector chose that moment to butt in, "You discussing Miss Granger-Snape?" At Remus' nod she continued "She's got a good grasp on numbers, your girl. Mentioned Saul Croaker had spoken to her over the summer?"
"Yes." Severus sighed, "Saul is exceptionally fond of her."
Septima hummed, "It shows. Quiet thing though."
No, no she wasn't, he wanted to howl. She was brash and bossy, not quiet. Where the fuck was she? He noticed Harry glancing at the doors every few minutes, clearly he had no more of an idea where she was than Severus did.
"Severus?" Harry called as he passed, startling several students. "Where's Hermione?"
"I dont know." he sighed, "What happened in Defense?"
Harry looked at him concerned, "She was….upset. Actually she was more than upset but she kept trying to hide it."
Severus glanced around the students watching them with undisguised interest. Fuck, he needed to find her "I do not think this is a conversation for here. Perhaps go back to your common room and see if she is there. Call for Roly if she is, ask him to let me know."
Harry frowned, clearly unsure before he nodded.
Severus headed to his rooms to make a game plan. He had no idea where Hermione would go…beyond the library, turning swiftly he made his way there, weaving in and out of the stacks much to the surprise of the students loitering there. He found her curled in on herself at a table at the very back, hidden from view unless you were looking. Her eyes stared unseeing at the table in front of her,
"Hermione?" he said softly, She jumped, immediately moving to gather up the things on the desk, shoving them in her bag. "Hermione, stop!"
Her eyes were wide and wary as she watched him. "Father?"
"Come with me." he kept his tone soft, soothing like she was a skittish animal. Given her current behaviour that may not be too far off the mark, he mused. What the fuck had her Bogart been?
She moved slowly, as if unsure, a demeanour painfully reminiscent of the Hermione of the first few months of the previous year when neither had been sure of the other. He walked her back to his rooms, allowing her to keep her silence.
"Professor Lupin said you were doing Bogart's today," he prompted gently once she was sat on his sofa. If possible, she became more pale, nodding slightly. "Will you tell me what you saw?" She shook her head violently, balling herself back up into an impossibly small shape. "Hermione." he prodded, "I can't help if I don't know."
"Its stupid." she whispered, not looking at him.
"I'm sure it's not," he replied, moving closer, almost afraid to invade her space in case she bolted.
"It is." she muttered, "Selfish. I…it'll be fine. Just need to do better, need to be better, not so weak."
He moved at that, his heart breaking slightly as he began to guess what she had seen. She resisted him moving her, her body tense as he pulled her into his side not sure how to fix this. "The things Bogart's show aren't real, sweetheart. They show our deepest fears but that doesn't make them real."
"But most of it was things people have said before." she whispered.
"Oh Hermione. Sweetheart, talk to me. Or I'll be forced to hex Lupin for his sheer stupidity and then Minerva would hex me….you don't want me to be hexed do you? She's vicious, you know?"
Hermione gave a reluctant laugh, finally relaxing slightly against him. "I saw….I saw Draco and Theo, telling me I'd never be anything more than a mudblood, asking how I ever thought I could fit in." She paused, a sob tearing out of her, "I….I saw Harry telling me how much of a nightmare I was, too bossy, too demanding, too much. Telling me he only agreed to the sibling bond because he pitied me too much to say no. And….And I saw you." she was properly sobbing now, her face buried into his buttons as he tried to offer some semblance of comfort, " You told me I was nothing but a know it all, that I'd ruined your life, you'd been happier without me because how could you ever love someone who was this much trouble."
"Oh sweetheart, none of it was real." he murmured, tightening his arms around her, "God's Hermione, you are the best thing that ever happened to me, I have never been happier. You are everything, my girl. I told you once before that you are my entire world and while that world might have expanded to include more people, you have to understand if ever there was a choice between them and you and Harry, you two would win every single time. I cannot lose you Hermione. It would destroy me."
He held her tightly as she sobbed, settling himself by imagining ways to murder the fucking wolf for this. Boiling alive sounded good, or perhaps death by a thousand papercuts, that sounded like it could take a while. Idly he wondered if a thousand would do it or if he'd need more. Something to ponder perhaps.
"I'm sorry." Hermione whispered.
"For?" he asked archly. She made a circular gesture with her hand, making him roll his eyes. "This is quite literally my job, my girl. I'm sure we've already had this conversation. I am here if you need a sounding board, Hermione. Why didn't you come and speak to me?"
"Everyone else seemed ok. And I….I hate this. I hate being this weak."
"You are not weak!" he growled.
"Harry can hear his mother screaming in his head and he didn't react like this. I….I heard some words I've heard before and I feel like I'm falling apart."
"Hermione, Harry doesn't remember his parents and while that leaves scars all on its own, the fact of the matter is, you were the first person who has ever loved him unconditionally that he can remember. He's still learning how to cope with that. As far as I know, that memory is not his boggart. I do no know what it was but he appeared to be more worried about you than whatever he had seen."
"Can't you see that's worse?"
"No, I can't, Hermione, all it shows is that boy loves you. You are allowed to have feelings and you are allowed to find things difficult….this year has been," Severus sighed, searching for the words. "One of the best of my life, but it has also been challenging. You have had to cope with so many changes, sweetheart and you've done so well but you have issues and triggers exactly the same way Harry does, different ones perhaps but that does't make them less valid." He paused to adjust her so she was facing him before he tilted her head up, "Hermione promise me that next time you'll come and talk to me? I want to know, my girl."
She nodded slowly, "You'll tell me if it's too much?"
"It will never, ever be too much, sweetheart,"
She shook her head, "Promise me."
Severus sighed, hoping that once she started meeting Andromeda this would get better. "If I promise, you must actually come to me when things are difficult."
"Ok." she whispered, burrowing into him when he pulled her back into his side. He sat in the silence, holding her close, wondering how best to bring up the next thing.
"Now, my girl." he said after several minutes, "Please explain to me how you managed to be in two classes at once?"
Hermione frowned, pulling a time turner from under her shirt as she pulled away from him. "Professor Dumbledore said you knew…..you never asked what classes I was taking and I know you'd made a point of discussing electives with Harry so I assumed he was telling the truth…." she trailed off registering the look on his face.
"He gave you a fucking time turner?" Severus growled.
"Ah…yes?"
"How many classes are you taking?" he barked.
"All of them?"
"All of them!" Severus felt his body go still.
"Yes." Hermione was watching him warily, pulling her legs back to her chest, her knuckles white. Was she scared of him? Fuck. Fucking hell she couldn't be, surely? He wanted to vomit at the thought. He knew he had to tread carefully, he knew she was feeling unsure already. Fucking hell.
"Hermione? Come here." Very slowly she unfurled and moved closer, still keeping some distance, her expression blank.
"I am not angry with you, Sweetheart." he said gently, "I am angry with Dumbledore and with myself." She looked utterly bewildered at that statement. "I should have asked, I meant to more than once and then something happened or we had to be somewhere or we were already out and it needed to wait. I'm so sorry, my girl. You're right, I did ask Harry and I should have made sure I also spoke to you."
His heart was hammering, hoping that she knew he had never meant to make it look like she didn't matter. Fuck, he wanted to hit something to ease the rising shame at his own stupidity. She had always been good at burying her own needs, he'd seen her with Harry and Weasley in first year, and damn it, he knew she was struggling with her self worth, he knew she'd always struggled. He prayed to whatever deity might be listening that he hadn't broken whatever trust he had managed to build with her.
Severus almost jumped when he felt an arm wrap around his shoulders. "You had that look on your face," she offered softly by way of explanation, "You were beating yourself up inside your head."
He gaped at her for a moment before twisting to hug her properly, holding her tight. "Hopeless," he murmured, "Both of us."
He heard her slight huff of laughter as she tightened her arms. "It's ok to make a mistake." she said softly, "I….I should probably have brought it up rather than wondering why you didn't seem to care."
"Please do next time," he whispered fiercely into her hair, "Because I will never not care….I just…before this summer the only person I had to think about was me. I spent most of my time alone."
"And now you have Harry and me, and Amelia, Susan, Saul and trips with our friends and projects with Saul and horcruxes." she offered.
"Yes. Now I have all of that. And I meant it, Hermione I don't regret a second of it but I'm….adjusting and apparently I drop the balls at the worst possible moment. I'll do better, my girl.
"Me too." she whispered. "Father?"
"Hmmm?"
"Will you adopt Harry? He won't ever ask but….we've spoken about it."
"You have?"
"Yes."
"How would you feel if I did?"
"I sort of assumed you would to be honest, he's already my brother and as much as I know Mrs Weasley is planning on asking him to stay next summer to get him out of your hair, if you say he can come with us, he will."
Severus exhaled loudly. "I….Hermione, I need you to be honest with me. Would you have any issues if I agreed to adopt him?"
Hermione pulled away slightly, frowning, "Why would I? He's my brother."
"I just wanted to be sure in light of…."
Hermione closed her eyes as understanding washed over her face. "I never blamed Harry. If anyone deserves a family, it's him. I was….hurt, but I never blamed him for it."
He pulled her back to him, "You are remarkable, my girl. I promise to speak to you both once the year is up and take it from there. I wouldn't be opposed to the idea, however."
"Good."
"Now, are we going to discuss what classes you're dropping?"
Hermione sighed, "I don't know."
"Are you a Seer?"
"No." she replied, her tone already indicating she knew where this was heading.
"Then no Divination. Two of your parents are muggles, explain to me what you were thinking taking muggle studies?"
"I just thought it would be interesting to study it from a wizarding point of view," she replied sheepishly, making him roll his eyes.
"So no muggle studies then. Now, I wasn't aware you had any great ambition to work with animals?"
"Oh, but, Hagrid!"
"Will understand if you cannot be in his class so long as you still visit. Harry and Ron will be there, it'll be fine."
Hermione sighed, slumping into him."Fine. No care of magical creatures."
"Good. If you discover a burning need to study them we can discuss it with Saul, the DoM studies many creatures but no one needs you burning out and exhausted by the end of the year. Now hand it over so I have proof of an acceptable motive for murdering Albus."
Hermione giggled slightly, "You cant actually murder him, Father."
"Pity, it would give me immense satisfaction." Hermione laughed, "What night is your astronomy night?"
"Um, Tuesday."
"Very well, I'll expect you here on Mondays and Thursdays for your potions." he paused, continuing drily, " We'll give it a miss for tonight, why don't you tell me about your classes?"
"It's only been a day, Father! And one of them was yours!" she protested, making him laugh.
"Fine. Tell me something I don't know." he asked impulsively, not yet ready for her to return to Gryffindor tower.
"Um…..I used to ice skate competitively, I miss it."
"Not what I was expecting, I have never ice skated in my life."
"I could teach you during the holidays?" she offered a slightly mischievous grin on her face.
"But blades on my feet!" he spluttered, "It's not natural!"
"It's fun!" she insisted.
"We'll see."
"Could we make an ice-rink with charms, do you think?" she mused."
"No! Absolutely not! They wouldn't hold."
Hermione laughed, "Scaredy cat!" she taunted. "I'll ask Saul!"
"Do you hate me, my girl?" he groaned. "I love you more than life and this is the thanks I get!"
Hermione was laughing properly now, "You missed your calling on stage with dramatics like that, Father. Tell me something I don't know."
"I went through a Punk stage," he said finally, "Spikes and all, during it I taught myself to play the guitar. I still play occasionally."
Hermione gaped at him. "No way! Oh Merlin, tell me you have pictures?"
Laughing he nodded, "Sadly they are at home and cannot be viewed at present."
Hermione shook her head for a moment before shouting "Lori!"
The elf popped into view, "Little Miss calls for Lori?"
"Lori can you bring me Fathers photographs?"
Lori looked at Severus who sighed before giving in to the inevitable. "The albums are in the trunk in my wardrobe."
The knock on his door meant he could avoid Hermione's smug little grin for a few more moments. Opening it, he was unsurprised to see Harry standing there. The boy shifted on his feet, "Did you find her?"
Severus sighed, opening the door wider, "Come in," he heard the tell tale pop of an elf, "you're just in time to witness my humiliation"
Harry frowned at him questioningly, before darting around him to fling himself at Hermione.
"Where were you?"
"I….I got lost inside my own head a bit." she confessed finally.
Harry scowled at her, "Well come and speak to me next time! I don't like it when you just disappear! You missed dinner and no one had any idea where you were!"
Hermione smiled softly at him, pulling him in for a hug, "Sorry." she murmured.
"Just don't do it again!" Harry demanded, before looking down at the album Hermione was opening. Severus snorted, pouring himself a drink in the hopes that this was not as brutal as he was anticipating. "Is that…..?" He heard Harry asking incredulously. "No! No way!"
Hermione was giggling, "Oh my gods, this is better than I had pictured!"
"Little sods." he grumbled, taking a drink and trying to pretend he wasn't smiling as his children giggled their way through his old photo albums.