A/N: Hey everyone, sorry it's been quite a few weeks. I was in Vancouver and I ended up staying a lot longer than I had originally intended! It was an amazing, completely OUAT oriented trip (I even got to meet one of you!) but it also meant that I fell behind on assignments so there hasn't been a lot of time for writing. I am heading into exam season right now but I'm hoping to update again soon. I hope you enjoy the new chapter!
Chapter 52
Emma moaned tiredly as she felt herself being pulled from the dream she'd been having. Already starting to forget what it had been about, she groggily peeked through her lashes, not really seeing much of anything before she allowed her eyes to fall closed once more. Her eyes still felt so heavy and all she wanted was to go back to sleep. It was as if the few hours of rest she'd just gotten had only served to exhaust her further.
Not caring what time it may be, she sank deeper into her pillow and was just about to let herself drift off again when her brain frustratingly began to kick in. Her still-closed eyes scrunched in sleepy confusion as she realized that her subconscious was telling her something was different.
She brushed the sleep from her eyes as she reluctantly forced them open again. She was met with the sight of Regina's room, which Emma had almost forgotten she had stayed the rest of the night in. She had never woken up in there before – disregarding the two brief naps she'd had over the course of the night – and for a moment she wondered if the different morning lighting was what had disrupted her sleep. Her gaze wandered as she allowed herself a few more seconds to wake up. Noticing nothing out of the ordinary, she turned over to check on Regina.
The other woman was still fast asleep. She had curled onto her side and had both of her arms tucked closely against her chest under the blankets.
As her gaze lingered on the slumbering brunette, Emma breathed a grim sigh as she remembered their last conversation before going to sleep. She hoped that after getting some of the rest that Regina had been robbed of yesterday, the brunette would be able to see things a little more clearly now.
Emma glanced at the time and saw that it was just after 8:00 AM. On a normal day she would likely already be up, but after getting less than two hours of sleep before emergency had struck, and then only getting back to sleep around 5:00 AM, Emma knew that she needed to try to at least get another hour or two. However she still had the feeling that something was different and she knew she wouldn't be able to settle back down until she figured out what it was. She unenthusiastically began to force herself into a sitting position when she suddenly found her answer.
Emma's gaze had travelled past Regina to where she could now see a third person lying under the covers close to Regina's back. From where Emma had propped herself up on one arm, she could see the ten-year-old's shoulder and a bit of his head, but Henry's face was hidden behind his adoptive mother.
Emma smiled softly as she lifted herself a little higher so she could see over the sleeping mayor. She still couldn't quite see Henry because he was huddled so closely behind his mother, but Emma could tell that he too, was deep in slumber. She supposed he must have woken up in her room where Mary Margaret and David had left him, and came back to make sure Regina had recovered alright after the events of earlier that morning.
Feeling a little more content, Emma settled back down into the softness of the pillows and blankets again. For half a moment she wondered if she should go back to her own room, but she couldn't find the energy nor a good enough reason to move.
After a quick cell phone check to make sure there were no town crises that needed her immediate attention, she pulled the blankets back over herself and closed her eyes.
She knew the day ahead was going to be a crazy one–provided Regina still let them leave town–and so she needed to get as much rest as she could so she would be able to get Regina and Henry safely to Boston later that night.
It was getting close to noon, and Emma was currently making her way up the stairs back up to Regina's bedroom. Henry and Emma had both already gotten up and had some breakfast, but Regina had still been asleep when they had left her. Her family had let her rest in hopes that she would be able to sleep what was left of the fever away, but as it neared lunchtime, they knew they had to try to convince her to eat at least a small meal, especially since she hadn't been able to keep anything down the day before.
Once Emma reached the master bedroom she knocked softly on the open door.
"Regina? It's me, are you awake?"
When there was no response Emma took a few steps into the room. "Regina?"
Emma sighed quietly, she had been hoping the brunette would already be awake. She crossed the room and sat down on the bed next to her.
Emma placed a gentle hand on the sleeping woman's arm, but instead of trying to wake her up she just sat there for a minute or so, watching over her. She hadn't been a fan of the idea of waking Regina up, but she, Mary Margaret and David had agreed that Regina needed to start building her strength for the upcoming night. They also knew that Emma was the most likely to be able to get Regina to eat anything since so far she had been the most successful, and since Emma and David would be heading into town soon they knew they had to get Regina up before then.
Even so, as Emma listened to Regina's steady breathing she couldn't help but feel bad for disrupting the other woman's much needed rest.
Wanting to let Regina sleep for even just a few more moments, Emma moved her hand to gently push some of Regina's hair away from her neck. Doing so revealed the remnants of Regina's attack by the angry mob, and Emma felt a pang as her eyes lingered on the dark bruises. They were slightly lighter than they had been the day before, but they were still taking far longer than they should have to heal. Emma knew that this symptom was a result of Regina's current health, and this only made her even angrier at the people who still wanted to finish the job.
Emma let Regina's hair fall back to cover the injuries and placed her hand on Regina's arm once more. Frowning as she continued to observe Regina, she wondered what their night was going to look like. She hoped everything would go as smoothly as possible, but she knew that was never the case. All Emma hoped was that she wouldn't let Regina down.
Remembering that she had to leave soon, Emma knew that she couldn't put off waking Regina up for much longer.
Emma pressed her hand down a little more firmly on Regina's arm and shook her gently. "Regina wake up." She said softly. "Regina?"
It took a few more tries before a still-sleeping Regina made a quiet noise, stirring slightly as she was slowly brought back to reality. As Emma continued to try to coax her awake, Regina finally started to become more responsive.
Regina moaned sleepily before she slowly began to open her eyes. With a deep inhale, she finally woke up.
"Hey Regina," Emma said softly, removing her hand from the other woman's arm.
"Emma?" Regina mumbled sleepily.
"Yeah it's me."
Regina looked up at her through squinted eyes as they adjusted to the light. Confused, she pressed her hand to her forehead as she glanced around the room. "Is everything okay?"
"Don't worry everything is fine. Did you sleep well?"
Regina breathed a tired sigh, closing her eyes again. "Well enough I think." There was a soft rustle of blankets as she shifted positions. "How about you?"
"Yeah, pretty good," Emma responded.
Regina hadn't failed to notice the slight raise in the other woman's voice, indicating the lie. Lifting her head slightly from the pillow, she gave Emma a look.
"Okay so a few more hours would have been nice." Emma admitted with a grin. "But honestly, I'm fine. I'll catch up on sleep once you're safe and in the hospital. It won't be long now."
Averting her eyes from Emma's, Regina settled back into her pillow again without offering a response.
Emma's smile faded as she continued to watch her friend, whose sudden change in attitude was not lost on her.
"Regina please tell me we're still leaving today."
The brunette remained silent, either ignoring the question or debating her answer.
"Regina?"
"I don't know..." Regina responded quietly. "I want to."
"Then why is this even still a question?"
Regina breathed another tired sigh before she slowly made the effort to sit up. "Because... I'm in much worse condition than I was the last time we made that trip. Four hours is a long time Emma. Last time we drove to Boston we were still well outside the city when I got sick."
"Regina, that only happened because it's as you said earlier, the curse hadn't been broken yet. It was like, I don't know... while you were in Storybrooke the curse was pressing the slow-mo button on your kidney failure, and then when you left town it was the equivalent of... you know–"
"Pressing play?"
"Exactly. You were the one to figure that out Regina. Listen to yourself because you were right. It makes total sense; you weren't aging while you were in Storybrooke, so you weren't getting sick as fast as you should have been. And now that the curse is broken, it makes no difference whether you're here in town or in Boston. I may not know much about magic but I do know that crossing the town line is as safe for you right now as it has always been."
"But this is what I've been saying," Regina replied wearily. "It wasn't safe last time. It was leaving Storybrooke that made my health deteriorate in the first place."
"That might be true but like I already said, the curse is broken now, and time in Storybrooke is moving along with the rest of the world. However worse your health would get out there would be just the same as it would here in town. Crossing the town line isn't going to change anything except give you a real chance to survive."
Regina gave a soft, defeated sigh in response. Emma supposed that it was more to do with her not having the energy to argue rather than an indication that she thought Emma could be right.
"You were the one to cast the curse on this town, and that curse is what created the town line." Emma continued. "That line kept everyone trapped here, but not you. You went to Boston to get Henry nearly eleven years ago, you told me so yourself. I still don't know how a baby I had in Phoenix ended up in Massachusetts, a mere four hours away from you, but you and Henry were clearly both fated to go to Boston back then, just as you are both fated to go there now. I promise you Regina, you have nothing to be afraid of. Nothing is going to happen to you when we cross that town line tonight. If anything, I'd say right now it's safer than ever for you to cross."
Regina had settled into her pillow again and was no longer meeting Emma's gaze. After studying the brunette for a few moments it was clear to Emma that Regina still remained uncertain about leaving.
"Regina, the reason people are losing their memories when they try to leave town is because their real selves were never meant to be in this world in the first place. This town has a hold on them that it's never had over you. Unlike them, you never had a false identity here. You are going to be fine. The memory thing is the only problem anyone crossing the town line needs to worry about."
Regina deplorably raised her eyes to meet Emma's again. "Do you really believe that?" She practically whispered.
"I do Regina, nothing is going to happen to you after we leave, I promise. You getting sick last time was just a fluke."
Regina swallowed a little heavily, and Emma could see a few tears glistening in the other woman's eyes before they were quickly blinked away.
"Emma..." Regina whispered, closing her eyes.
"What is it Regina?" Emma asked softly.
"I'm scared Emma."
Regina heard a soft, heartsick sigh before she felt a gentle hand on her arm.
"I know... and I don't blame you. To be honest I am a little bit too, but isn't it better to at least try to save your life? If we stay here sure… you'll be able to spend your last moments in your home with your family, but if we leave, you may still have years, hopefully decades left in your life. Isn't it worth it to try?"
Regina sniffled, closing her eyes a little tighter as she felt more tears forming in them. Her hand reached for Emma's as she gave a tiny nod in agreement.
"But what if leaving isn't safe? What if it turns out we're wrong about that." Regina asked, looking tearfully up at the blonde again.
"Then we're wrong..." Emma answered quietly, ignoring the wave of dread she felt at the thought. "If–and I'm not saying we are–but if we are wrong and crossing the line does effect you badly, I promise I won't give up on you. I'll still do everything I can to help you."
A tear slid down Regina's cheek as she nodded in appreciation.
"But don't worry Regina, that's very unlikely. You're going to make it to Boston tonight, I know you are."
Emma felt her heart break as she saw Regina's lips trembling ever so slightly.
"So... it's settled then? We're still leaving tonight?" Emma asked uncertainly.
Regina nodded, sniffling again before curling further into her pillow.
"Okay," Emma said masking her relief. But because Regina was clearly still upset, she moved her hand to Regina's shoulder. "Don't worry too much about it, you're making the right choice."
Regina was silent as her tear-filled gaze met Emma's again.
"What is it?" Emma asked gently.
"I don't know... I just have this awful feeling that something bad is going to happen." Regina finally whispered.
Emma nodded in heartfelt understanding. "I think that's normal, you're just being cautious. But please try not to worry, I'm not going to let anything happen to you. I know it's hard not to, but it's just going to stress you out all day if you keep thinking about it and that's so not what you need right now."
Regina wiped away a few stray tears before looking up at Emma again. "I know." She whispered.
Emma felt a pain in her heart as she watched the suffering woman in front of her. She had begun to gently rub her hand up and down Regina's arm in attempts to comfort her but knew it was far from enough.
She and Regina both remained silent for a few moments, contemplating what was yet to come, but after a minute or so Regina had closed her eyes once more and Emma was afraid of her falling back to sleep.
"Hey," she said softly. "This might be the last thing you want to do, but what do you say we go downstairs and have something to eat? It'll help take your mind off of all this."
Not opening her eyes, Regina shook her head softly.
"It may not seem like it right now Regina, but it'll make you feel loads better."
"That's what you all said yesterday." Regina responded, not in an accusatory way, but in a drained one.
"And then you got sick again, I know." Emma replied, feeling her heart tug guiltily. "But the doctor said you need to keep your strength up."
Regina blinked back a few more tears, "I'm not hungry Emma."
"Regina, you haven't eaten in two days. The milk and few crackers you had last night does not count. You need to get some proper nutrition for once."
"It hasn't been two days." Regina said, suddenly a little more alert.
Emma nodded. "It has. The last time I saw you eat all you had was two pieces of toast, and that was for lunch; two days ago."
"Just because you haven't seen me eat anything doesn't mean I haven't." Regina grumbled wearily, her voice still a little raw from crying.
Emma just gave her a look. "Unless you've got a secret stash of snacks hidden in here somewhere, no one else has seen you have anything either. Nothing you've been able to keep down anyways."
Regina gave a tired sigh, wiping away a few more escaped tears.
Emma bit her lip. There had been times in her past when Emma herself had been sick with the flu or whatnot, and had gone nearly full days without eating, just like Regina was now. She knew from her own personal experience that Regina's not eating was likely making her emotions ten times worse. However Emma didn't want to flat out say this because she knew that Regina was disheartened and ashamed by the changes in her character lately and she might not like the reminder that the changes were so noticeable. Lately Regina's emotions had been increasingly fragile, and currently she was physically weaker than she had ever been in her life. In her current state of health, both of these things were unavoidable and neither were her fault, and yet Emma knew that Regina still viewed them as personal failures.
"Come on," Emma encouraged, deciding not to mention the emotions. "I swear it'll make you feel better. Dr. Montgomery gave me a list of suggestions that shouldn't upset your stomach too badly."
"Emma..."
"What? You're going to need all the strength you can get for tonight. Who knows what we're going to be facing when we try to leave."
As she saw Regina's expression change in response to her words, Emma felt a little bad for bringing up the townspeople when the brunette was already in such distress. However she also knew that sometimes Regina needed a little extra push to force her to take care of herself.
"I'm still a little dizzy." Regina argued.
"Then I'll help you down the stairs." Emma deflected the excuse. "Unless you'd prefer me to bring something up here for you?"
Regina sighed in defeat. "No..."
"Alrighty then," Emma said, holding out her hand for Regina to get up.
Regina stared at Emma's hand for a few moments before she reluctantly took it and let the blonde help her into a sitting position.
Emma stood up and was about to help Regina out of bed when she noticed Regina had paused, she seemed to be debating something.
"Regina?"
The brunette looked over at her a little hesitantly. "Emma wait, before we go downstairs there's something I need you to do for me."
"Okay, yeah of course. What is it?" Emma asked.
Regina held her gaze for a few seconds, and her expression seemed to say that she was worried about how Emma would react.
Emma was starting to grow concerned when Regina finally looked away from her to reach for a drawer in her bedside table.
Regina's hands were shaking a little as she removed a file folder from the drawer and placed it on her lap.
She glanced at Emma again before opening the folder and removing several stapled stacks of papers.
"What's all this?" Emma's brow furrowed as she sat down again.
"See for yourself." Regina responded in quiet voice.
"What are they?" Emma eyed Regina uncertainly before she took the papers and gave the first few a quick scan.
Her eyes widened in shock when she realized what Regina had just handed to her.
"Wait, hold on a minute what?! Regina what is this?"
"Exactly what it looks like." Regina replied gently.
Emma stared at the document speechlessly for a few moments.
"Regina..."
"It's my Will, Emma." Regina explained guardedly.
"As in 'Last Will and Testament', yeah I can see that. Regina why do you have this?"
"I should have thought that would be quite obvious."
Emma didn't know what to say as she stared at Regina with a heartbroken expression on her face. She tried to ignore the lump in her throat as she looked back down at her own name listed multiple times on the sheets of paper. Henry's name was written in a few sections, but apart from his, Emma's name was the only other one that appeared.
Regina touched the pages gently. "I don't need you to sign any of these," she began, her voice on the verge of breaking. "But because I need two people as witnesses I need to know that you'll accept these responsibilities. If I had done this sooner I would have put your parents' names as my second and third choices to be Henry's guardian, but as I'm short on time I need them to sign as my witnesses instead."
"When did you get these?" Emma finally managed to ask.
"I've had them for a few weeks. I should have just completed them right away but I had hoped to be on better terms with your parents before doing so. That's happened now, but unfortunately the curse broke much sooner than I expected it to. And as for the last few days... well... my mind has been otherwise occupied."
"I–" Emma blinked back a few tears that had been brought on by the shock. She wanted to respond but she didn't know how, and she couldn't seem to find her voice. Without saying anything, she moved on to the next group of papers, she hoped they would be easier to look at.
Emma's eyes scanned over the second set of documents. Just like on the Will, Emma's name was the only one that was listed.
"Wait... You want me to–" She stammered, looking up at the brunette. "Regina no, I couldn't."
Regina had a hurt, but understanding look in her eyes. "Please Emma, I need you to do this for me."
"Regina do really think you'll need this?" Emma asked in hushed dismay.
"It's very likely that I could need it, yes. And I would prefer to have it just in case."
Emma nodded distractedly as she continued to read over the papers.
"So... you want me to make your medical decisions for you?" The blonde asked in a small voice.
"If I can no longer speak for myself, for example if I'm unconscious or..." Regina swallowed as she blinked back a few tears, not finishing her sentence. "Yes Emma I would." She replied softly.
Emma felt as if there were something heavy pressing down on her chest; it was hard to breathe, it was hard to think.
"Regina I can't." She practically whispered.
"Yes you can. Please Emma, it will just give me some peace of mind to know this is settled." Regina's eyes searched Emma's for a few moments, trying to read what the other woman was thinking. "I'll understand if you don't want to, but please say you'll do this for me."
Emma didn't – or couldn't – respond.
Regina could tell that Emma was having a hard time, so she decided to move onto the next document, and wordlessly took one of the other papers from Emma.
"If anything happens to me and I'm not going to be able to look after Henry, you can take these all to a judge in Boston if you're faced with any problems, they'll see that everything is in order."
Emma bit her lip as she glanced at the paper she hadn't yet looked at. She sniffled, trying not to let her emotions get the best of her as she read over the paper.
"So... according to this, you and I can both be Henry's guardians?" She asked a little stuffily.
"That's right. And if anything should happen to me, you would be able to take care of him without dispute."
"Why would there be? I mean I'm his birthmother, shouldn't that mean something?"
"Not necessarily. You gave up your rights to him. If there was a problem the courts could say I failed to name someone to look after him and he could be separated from you. Maybe not forever, I'm sure they would give you custody eventually, but I don't want to take the chance of him ending up in that position at all, especially not just after I've gone."
"But what courts? Regina this is Storybrooke, I have a feeling the usual laws don't apply here."
"Emma you may not always stay in Storybrooke. You need to keep your options open and I can't risk Henry being taken away from his family."
Emma sighed, looking over the documents again. "I don't know about this Regina..."
Regina's eyes had a hint of worry in them as she studied Emma. "Do you not want to be his guardian, is that what it is?"
Emma looked over at her again and realized what Regina must be thinking. "Oh... no Regina it's nothing like that. Of course I'm honored that you want me to do this, and of course I would take care of Henry, don't ever think you have to worry about that, but... this just makes everything seem so official." Emma said with a lost expression on her face.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I mean we shouldn't need these." Emma set the papers down on the bed. She got up and started pacing slowly. "We're not going to need them because you're going to get better right? Henry won't need a guardian to look after him because he'll have you."
"Emma..."
"Henry can't lose you. He's not going to lose you, it would devastate him."
"Emma–"
"We're getting you to Boston tonight, you're going to be fine, which means we don't need any of this and–"
"Emma!"
The blonde instantly stopped pacing and turned around to look at the other woman. Regina had an almost heartbroken expression on her face as she held Emma's gaze.
"I am running out of time Emma." Regina's voice broke as she tried to keep from crying again. "We still don't know that we can even get out of Storybrooke. We're going to try but you and I both know the risks. And if we stay here you know what's going to happen. I don't know how long I have but... things aren't looking good for me right now and I have to know that Henry will be okay when I'm gone."
"But Regina ..." Emma practically whispered as she sat down beside her again. "You just... you can't die. Please, I can't look after Henry on my own, he needs you."
Regina wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. "I can die. And with the way things are going..." Regina shook her head as her voice caught in her throat, "if it turns out we can't get out of Storybrooke, I very likely will. And Emma, there may soon come a time when Henry needs you more than me. You believed you could look after him on your own once before, you can do this Emma."
Emma remained silent as she tried to come to terms with this new development. She couldn't look at Regina, nor could she look at the papers.
As she studied Emma's composure, Regina tilted her head ever so slightly to the side. There was a puzzled, but emotional look in her eyes as she realized that Emma was crying.
Emma sniffled, meeting Regina's eyes again. She froze when she noticed how Regina was looking at her.
"What?" Emma said thickly.
Regina gave her a gentle, heartwarming smile as she blinked back a few more tears of her own.
Emma hadn't realized that there were tears streaming down her face. Now that she finally understood what Regina's reaction meant, Emma gave a small self-conscious laugh as she quickly wiped them away.
Regina reached to take Emma's hand in her own in attempt to comfort her, but also thank her.
Emma blinked back more tears as she looked sadly down at their clasped hands.
"Regina I don't want you to finish signing these." She whispered. "It doesn't seem right."
Regina's hand tightened gently around Emma's. "Please Emma, you have to do this. I could have asked Mary Margaret or Kathryn or someone else who has known Henry longer but I chose you. There is no one that I would want more than you looking after Henry in my place."
"I can't..." Emma whispered.
"I thought raising Henry was what you always dreamed of." Regina replied softly.
"It was... I mean... But things have changed now. I can't do it without you Regina."
"I don't want to miss it either. But if it turns out that I will, at least I'll know that Henry will be safe. I know you'll take good care of him for me Emma."
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A/N: Thank you for reading, please don't forget to review. Take care xx