The first thing Severus felt was a weight. Or, more accurately, several weights. It was almost suffocating. He tried to get his bearings. Where the fuck was he? And why did he feel like he'd been trampled by a herd of Hippogriffs before being run over by the night bus and simultaneously crucioed. Everything fucking hurt. And it was dark, which seemed to make it worse, although he wasn't sure why. He wasn't a stranger to the dark. He wasn't scared of it. After all, many people would claim that he was one of the horrors that lurked in it. But seriously, everything fucking hurt. And he didn't like it.
He moved gingerly, attempting to remove his arm from under the weight holding it down. The weight moved, startling him.
"Severus?" Someone whispered. A female someone. What the fuck was going on? He didn't keep females in his bed…..he didn't keep males either now he thought about it but it was perplexing all the same
"Yes?" he rasped. Fuck that really hurt. What the fuck had he done to his throat?
"Severus don't move, I'll be right back." The weight commanded, shifting slightly. The feeling of relief was almost instant as it moved off of him. There were two…three? More though. He wondered briefly if he could convince the female weight to take the other ones with her. The one sitting on his chest was particularly bothersome. He wanted to ask her to bring back a pain potion while he was at it. He couldn't figure out the words though, and even if he could, his mouth wasn't cooperating. So he sighed instead. It was a bit pathetic really but he was in pain so he was going with it. If one couldn't elicit sympathy when one was in pain what use was there for other people?
"Severus?" A second sleepy voice prodded. It sounded young. Male. Why the fuck did he have people in his bed? That didn't make any sense. No one came into his bed….not long enough to sleep in it anyway and definitely not young sounding males.
"Yes?" he tried again. That word seemed to work. Another one of the weights shifted as someone, the young man, he assumed, sat up. He could move his legs again. Not that he wanted to, they really fucking hurt. He almost asked the boy to lie back down so he wasn't tempted to try anything so foolish again.
"How are you feeling?" The boy prodded gently. Who the fuck spoke to him gently? This was highly irregular and he wasn't sure he liked it.
"Shit." he replied succinctly, making the boy laugh. The laugh seemed to jostle the other two weights, the one on his chest shifting to the bed with a quiet mew. That couldnt be right, he didnt own a fucking cat. At least he could breathe normally now though. If one considered breathing being painful normal. The other weight seemed to be fighting waking up. It was the least annoying one though so he wasn't too bothered. It just sort of seemed to curl into his side without pinning him down. And it was warm. Warm in a way that helped the pain slightly. Maybe he should just keep that weight where it was. The boy jostled the bed as he prodded it, making him want to cry. Couldn't the boy stay fucking still?
"Mione. Mione, he's awake!" he whispered.
"What?" the last weight yawned, seeming to burrow closer to him. Young. Female this time. What the fuck was going on? It wasn't appropriate to have a young female in his bed! To be fair it wasn't appropriate to have a young male either he mused feeling something akin to panic shoot through him.
"Mione!" the boy hissed louder.
The weight almost jumped upright, jostling his sore body making him want to cry again.
"Father?" the female whispered. She sounded worried. Father….she couldn't mean him? He didn't have children. Although if he did then this whole thing was far less inappropriate than he had originally been thinking. Which, quite frankly, would be a massive fucking relief. He prodded the inside of his head, which also fucking hurt. Could a brain hurt? He supposed it must because thinking fucking hurt his. Father. There was something in that word. Curls…..forced hugs…..and water guns? What? Snot and tears seemed to feature quite heavily too….although he wasn't sure why. That didn't sound pleasant.
"Yes?" he ventured. Really, someone needed to be giving him a pain potion.
"Oh! Oh gods you're awake! We were so worried!" the girl, was she crying? Fuck….for fucks sake, he knew who she was, he knew he did….it was there, just there. He almost growled with frustration. He was not this slow. He wasn't.
"Hermione, it's alright." The boy….soothing her. Hermione. Fuck. Hermione! Harry. The fucking Mark!
"What happened?" he croaked. The door to the room….his bedroom? Maybe….opened showing a sliver of light. Someone he couldn't quite make out was illuminated in the doorway.
"Ah you are awake." Fucking Saul. Of bloody course it was. He watched as the man cast a charm and several little orbs of soft light shot out of his wand, hovering over them. Saul looked fucking awful. Actually, if he looked properly, Lucius and Amelia didn't look much better from where they stood behind him. Hermione had clearly been crying, her face was pale, the worry clear. Harry's face mirrored hers. None of it was overly encouraging. They all really needed to work on their bedside manner. He was trying not to panic and they were all looking at him like he'd died.
"Come here, my girl. There's no need to cry." Perhaps if she hugged him her warmth would help the pain again. She shook her head stubbornly, her knuckles white as she gripped Harry's hand. "Hermione," he tried again only to be interrupted by Saul.
"She's right. Off the bed children, let me run a diagnostic and then you can fight over who is going to berate him for scaring us all first."
The children almost bolted from the bed, moving to stand with Amelia and Lucius. He watched with interest as Amelia immediately pulled them both to her. That was new.
"What do you remember?" Saul asked, his wand moving continuously.
"I….Fog? Maybe? Screaming….someone was crying?" he tried. Fuck his head hurt.
"And why was there fog?"
"You were attempting to remove the Dark Mark."
"Good. It's not addled your brain then." Saul smirked. "Not going to ask if we were successful?"
Severus froze. "Were you?"
"Of fucking course we were you arse! Not that it was easy. That fucker really fought back." he dropped his voice so low Severus had to strain to hear him. "The screaming, by the way, was you. I suggest when you're able to move again you make it up to your witch and your children. You frightened us all half to death, stubborn bastard. Why wont you just pass out?"
Severus rolled his eyes, regretting it immediately. Could eyeballs hurt? "Pain potion?" he ventured.
"Oh…oh yes sorry. Here." Severus relaxed almost immediately as the familiar liquid was poured down his throat.
"What time is it?"
Saul snorted, "About two in the morning."
"I passed out for that long?" he asked, horrified.
"It's Sunday." Saul replied flatly.
"Sunday!" he yelped.
"Yes. I told you you gave us quite a fucking scare. Your children have been here since Friday night. They refused to leave. They might have heard some of the screaming. Lucius couldn't ignore the door and well…..once they realised what was happening….stubborn, both of them. I'm convinced they both bloody get it from you. Bill Malfoy for the mind healer. If there's lasting trauma it was his fault."
Severus paled. "Fuck." he muttered.
"Indeed. Thankfully you seem to be in perfect health now. Sleep…you need it but there should be no lingering effects."
"Thank you." Severus whispered, finally able to move his head without vomiting, pulling his sleeve up,he turned to look down at his unblemished forearm. He couldn't have stopped the tears if he tried.
Suspiciously glassy eyed himself, Saul nodded, not that he saw it. His eyes fixated on a sight he never thought he'd ever see. Shoving himself up the bed, ignoring the pain, his eyes found his daughter. That was all it took for her to untangle herself from Amelia, and rush towards him. He realised as all three of them collided with him, that she'd dragged Amelia and Harry with her. It was an odd feeling, being surrounded by people. Crying people, which he imagined didn't help. Although given that he was crying too, perhaps he didn't have a leg to stand on. All of them were clutching him like he was going to disappear. Slowly, he wound his arm around his children, awkwardly pulling them to him, he hesitated momentarily before doing the same to Amelia on his other side. It took them a long time to calm down. Lucius had left some time ago with Saul, both of them leaving without fanfare for once in their lives. Just as their breathing was beginning to even out as sleep claimed them all he heard himself ask.
"What happened to the cat?"
Harry and Hermione had kept shooting him worried little glances from the table at breakfast, little glances that had continued at lunch and now, at dinner. He barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Subtle they were not. Although they'd allowed him to leave his rooms, which was more than could be said for the the day before where they had insisted he not venture out into the castle while they watched him like overly attentive hawks. He had wondered if he'd have to imperius them in order to be allowed to teach. Amelia hadn't been much better, he had had to promise she could come back after dinner in order for her to leave.
"Feeling better then, my boy?" Minerva asked pointedly.
Severus frowned then froze as something clicked into place. "You were the fucking cat!" he exclaimed.
Minerva laughed, "Aye laddie, I was the cat. I take up less room that way and your bed was pretty crowded, all those people in it." Beside him Remus choked on his tea.
"For fucks sake." He muttered. "It felt like you were smothering me."
"Does Minerva regularly invade your bed, Severus?" Remus asked with a slight smirk and exaggeratedly innocent eyes.
"Not that I am aware of." Severus growled.
"Ah….just when you've other people in it?"
Severus counted to ten. In Japanese. He only really knew to five so the rest of it was likely nonsense. It wasnt an effective way to hinder his murderous impulses but it would have to do.
"I was….unwell over the weekend. Amelia, Harry and Hermione are annoyingly tenacious and refused to leave me be."
"Amelia? Amelia Bones?" Remus asked, gaping at him.
"Yes." Severus replied, allowing a hint of a smile to curl the edges of his lips. Good. Fucking wolf hadn't been expecting that. To be fair, he hadn't been expecting it either but he didn't need to share that. He could just be delightfully smug. He could do smug. It was almost as much fun as sneering. Almost.
"Wow. That explains Harry and Hermiones relationship with Susan Bones." Remus mused.
"Indeed." Severus drawled, actually rolling his eyes as he found Harry and Hermione watching him. Again. Both of them looked away sheepishly.
"What time is the Board coming?" Minerva muttered, spotting Albus wandering into the room.
"I don't actually know, I had expected them to be here before now."
"The Governors are coming?" Remus asked, "They don't normally meet this early do they?"
"No….Did you miss Friday's commotion with Saul Croaker, Albus and Hermione's time turner?"
"I…fuck. Yes I must have. I didn't make meals on Friday, I had so much planning to do now I've met most of the classes and know what level they're at. Why did Hermione have a time turner?"
"Albus gave her one so she could take all the electives."
"Fuck." Remus growled. "That's….that's fucking insane!"
"Yes…hence the Govenors coming to visit."
"Ah it would appear they're here." Minerva muttered as an indignant scream tore through the hall and the doors slammed open. Annalise Fawley stormed in, her wand out, her magic pulsing around her and headed straight for the staff table.
"You!" she screamed, sending a hex at Albus that covered him in what looked like horrifically painful orange boils. "How dare you!" Another hex came flying out of her wand that Albus managed to block. Hermione and Harry watched her wide eyed from their table, as the staff scattered, unwilling to be caught in the crossfire. "You could have killed her." Hexes were coming in rapid succession, as Albus tried to deflect. Two met their mark, Albus' robes twisting themselves around him until he fell with a thud and what sounded like several pops. Severus winced in sympathy. He might despise the man but he imagined forceful popping of boils had to hurt. The other left him bald and beardless. Annalise must just have been hurling everything at him in the hopes of something sticking, Severus mused. Given that he didn't want to visit the witch in Azkaban, he supposed they should all be grateful that it was the more benign ones that hit their mark. Although the sight of Albus' horrifying, boil filled but naked face would give him nightmares for weeks. Who knew the man had such a giant, odd shaped head, that protrusion on the back couldn't be normal, surely? And dear gods that chin could have speared a fish. It made Draco's pointy little face look positively round.
Lucius appeared to shake his surprise finally as the horror that was the trussed up Headmaster sunk in. "Aunt Annalise!" he ran from the doors, shield already up. "Aunt Annalise, you cannot murder the Headmaster!"
"Watch me!" The witch snarled, firing off another hex that made Albus' nails grow at an alarming rate. Lucius sent a pleading look his way while Albus wrestled with his shoes, his robes and his fingernails impeding him.
"Annalise. You cannot, however much we understand the urge. You'd traumatise the children."
Albus had his back against the wall, unable to move as he focused on deflecting the witches' rage fuelled, rapid fire curses once he'd successfully removed his shoes and untangled himself from his robes. Not that his now curling fingernails were helping matters. It would have been hilarious if Severus wasn't so concerned that Annalise might actually succeed in murdering the man.
"Grandmother." Hermione called softly, her hand clutching Lucius' arm, "Grandmother, enough!"
Annalise faltered, her eyes turning quickly to Hermione. "You're alright."
"Yes Grandmother, I'm alright."
"Expelliarmus!" Severus watched in fascination as Albus' wand soared from his hand and into Saul's. When the fuck had he got here?
"Hexing a witch when their back is turned." He growled, "Cowardly, even for you."
"Well….if perhaps we could settle down." Benjamin Lorimer said weakly from the door where he stood with the other stunned governors and an altogether far too amused Augusta Longbottom.
"Settle down!" Albus thundered. "That mad witch just tried to kill me!"
"Well you did put her Granddaughter at enormous risk, Headmaster." Augusta said pointedly as she approached. "I'm not altogether sure what you expected."
The entire Great Hall was silent, the students watching stunned.
"Why is it always her?" he heard Theo groan quietly to Draco who snorted and muttered something quietly back which sounded suspiciously like "You were the one who chose a bloody Gryffindor." Severus very dearly hoped that came back to bite him on the arse at some point shortly.
Beside him Remus choked on a laugh. "We keep things interesting at least." he muttered.
In front of the staff table Annalise was holding Hemione at arm's length clearly checking her over before she pulled her in for a hug so tight it must have been painful.
"Ah perhaps I should go and…."
"Prevent your daughter from suffocating?" Minerva asked wryly, "I'll put Albus to rights. That chin will have me sleeping with the light on for months.".
Snorting, he made his way down to the floor. "Annalise, she can't breathe!"
Annalise loosened her hold slightly but refused to let go entirely. "How have you not killed him?" she growled.
"Because I appear to be managing everyone else's anger. Saul and then Minerva almost murdered him on Friday. And now you today. And really Annalise, if I was going to murder him I wouldnt do it with this many witnesses!" he replied pointedly.
Annalise had the grace to look faintly embarrassed as she looked around the Great Hall to see the students watching her with avid interest.
"Yes well….perhaps I let my anger get the better of me."
Harry snorted, having ambled over to greet the witch, "That's one way to make an entrance, Grandmother." he laughed moving in to hug her.
"Well one must always leave a lasting impression."
"You managed that." Hermione said wryly.
Annalise snorted, "I could have been much worse, you know? What on Earth were you thinking of, agreeing to one of those things, dearest?"
"I just didn't know what to take and I wanted to try them all….I didnt realise how dangerous it was. Father and Uncle Saul explained in painful detail."
"Good." Annalise sighed, looking over Hermione again as if to reassure herself she really was alright. "Now, perhaps we should leave you to your dinner and reconvene somewhere a little less….overlooked."
Harry and Hermione laughed, "Now you've made sure you've made your point, you mean?" Harry replied pointedly.
Annalise grinned, "Well he can't hide it now, can he? Half the students will have owled home before the nights out. And Gods know I've wanted to hex the man ever since your father told me what the two of your got up to in your first year. Not to mention the leaving you in that awful house and attempting to coerce your father into not acknowledging your sister."
Harry blinked for a moment as he attempted to process her terminology. Severus felt his own brain short circuit, he wasn't sure what to make of the look on Harry's face. Did he think of him as a father? Despite what Hermione had said about adopting the boy, he still hadn't spoken to him about it. Did the idea horrify him? It would horrify many people if he was honest. Fuck. Maybe it was best to ignore it for now and speak to him later?
"Shame you didn't manage to hit him with anything more exciting than boils, Grandmother!" Hermione cut in, redirecting attention away from Harry, even as her hand snaked towards him to grip his tightly.
"It is perhaps for the best that she did not." Severus remarked wryly, "Azkaban is unpleasant and I refuse to consider taking you both to visit."
"Who are we refusing to visit, Uncle?" Draco asked, appearing beside them. "Aunt Annalise, it's always wonderful to see you."
Annalise laughed, "Your Uncle was refusing to bring my grandchildren to visit me in Azkaban, little flatterer."
Draco laughed, "Planning a visit? You remember Theodore Nott?"
"Lady Fawley," Theo intoned, watching her slightly warily.
"Indeed I am not. Young Mr Nott. I do hope you're behaving yourself with my Granddaughter, I'm far too young for great-grandchildren."
"Grandmother!" Hermione exclaimed horrified, her face turning red.
"Yes, Dearest? Is it not my job to ensure you're happy and treated well? And above all…safe? Babies are cute, dearest but not in school."
Hermione groaned, burying her head in Harry's shaking shoulder muttering about embarrassing, interfering relatives and wondering if the ground really could open up and swallow her whole. Theo looked as if he was contemplating something similar, gaping at Annalise as he attempted to find some sort of reply. He was pathetically grateful when they were interrupted.
"You alright, 'Mione? Who else will be coming to shout at Dumbledore on your behalf?"
Hermione lifted her head, rolling her eyes at Ron Weasely.
"I think we should be done now." she muttered as Minerva escorted a restored Albus from the room. "Grandmother, this is Ronald Weasley. Ron, this is my Grandmother, Lady Fawley."
Ron looked like a deer caught in headlights momentarily as Annalise held out her hand. To his credit he managed to take it and kiss her knuckles, even if he did stutter over his own greeting.
"It's wonderful to meet you Mr Weasley. I have heard a lot about you from my grandchildren. Now, I believe you have more than your fair share of brothers but I would like for you to introduce me to the twins if you please."
Hermione and Harry shared a panicked look. "Why, Grandmother?" Harry asked hesitantly.
"I've heard lots of interesting things, both from you and Hermione and from Arnold through Cedric. I'd like to meet them."
Harry groaned, making Draco laugh. "Why do I feel like this is a phenomenally bad idea?"
"Because it is?" Hermione replied archly.
"Nonsense! Honestly, since when did I acquire two such unadventurous grandchildren? You're supposed to be Gryffindor's for Merlin's sake!"
"Maybe when they realised that the thought of you and the Weasley Twins in the same vicinity is terrifying?" Severus asked dryly.
"Did we hear our name?"
"And terrifying? Really Sir, we had no idea you had such a high opinion of us!"
"Oh gods." Harry groaned.
Hermione winced, "Grandmother, may I introduce Fred and George Weasley, Fred, George, my Grandmother, Lady Fawley." she sighed, clearly resigned.
"It's wonderful to meet you Lady Fawley" they chorused.
Annalise smiled, sending a jolt of fear down Severus' spine. Fuck. He should really have stepped in to prevent this. Nothing good would come of Annalise teaming up with the Weasley twins.
"And you boys. Now, you must come and visit the next time Hermione is home. I gather you're rather fond of Zonkos. Have you considered coming up with your own line?"
The boy's eyes lit up making Severus want to groan. "Actually Lady Fawley we've already started," Fred began.
"Although don't tell our mum, she doesn't approve." George finished.
"Wonderful! Do send me some of your ideas, the word needs a bit more mischief. And I must insist that you attend at least one of the balls over Christmas. They can be dreadfully boring and I would consider it a personal favour. As such I would of course cover any expenses, it would after all, be my fault you're incurring them, so do indulge an old lady."
Fred and George shared a look. "We would be delighted to send you some products once we've tested them some more." George said finally.
"We're not really the fancy ball type though," Fred finished.
"Has Hermione told you about Thoros' prize chicken?" Annalise asked conversationally.
The boys frowned. "No." they hedged as Theo groaned.
"Attends every event. He dressed her to match Hermione at the last ball. The one where Corbin Yaxley attempted to eat her and Thoros hexed him so he was naked and covered in tentacles."
The Twins' eyes went wide. "Perhaps we are the fancy ball type after all." George mused.
"You've been holding out on us, baby-Snape!" Fred accused, waggling his finger with a grin.
Hermione groaned. "You were in Egypt! We assumed you'd hate them even more than we do! And don't call me baby-Snape!"
"As delightful as the thought of the chaos that I'm going to be forced to endure over Christmas is, don't you lot have somewhere else to be?"
"Not really, Sir." The twins chorused, grinning at him.
"Then find somewhere." he replied pointedly, watching as they all finally said their goodbyes to Annalise and left the Great Hall, presumably in the direction of the kitchens given how interrupted dinner had been.
"Shall I escort you to wherever the Governors have reconvened?" Severus sighed.
"That would be lovely, Severus." Annalise smiled angelically back at him.
Severus jolted slightly from his book when someone knocked on his door. It was late, he wasn't expecting anyone and really, he had been planning to go to bed shortly. He was still knackered from the Mark removal. Amelia looked at him questioningly as he stood.
"Saul." he sighed, opening the door.
"That would be me," The man grinned, settling himself on the sofa. "I'll make it quick, you look like shite. The Governors have Albus on probation. They've got a delightful elf by the name of Helga watching him almost constantly. He's not allowed to be alone with students without a witness to the conversation and all his paperwork has to be sent to some poor sod at the Ministry to double check. He was livid."
Severus laughed. "I can imagine. It's not a bad outcome. I had assumed Annalise would have pushed for more."
"Oh she did. But she was overruled for the moment in light of her….impassioned reaction earlier. They're feeding it all back to the Minister, the Wizengamot and the ICW. All of them will be watching him closely. I'd be surprised if they dont start to plan for his removal. I don't think they'll push it yet but they'll want plans in place."
Severus grinned. "Wonderful"
"Isn't it just?" Saul's returning smile was vicious.
Amelia sighed, "For the love of Merlin do not get caught manipulating things in your favour."
They both turned to her wide eyed, "As if we would get caught, Amelia," Saul huffed.
"Alright. I agreed to train them, now what's the plan?" Alastor's voice startled him so badly he dropped the book he was holding as he returned to his office following dinner. He had hoped to get some work done, it was Tuesday, Hermione had Astronomy meaning there was little chance of interruptions. Or so he had thought.
"How in the hell did you get in here?" he snarled.
"Amelia gave me the address." Alastor answered nonchalantly.
"Fucking wonderful." Severus muttered. "Remind me to thank her."
Alastor snorted. "Aye well. I'd like to get started with the kids. Doesn't do to let them become deskilled."
Severus rolled his eyes. They'd been back at school less than a week for fucks sake. "And when were you thinking?"
"Schedules unpredictable, but we can begin with Sunday mornings, I think. I can let you know if that changes. I need to know who you're thinking of including."
Severus sighed, "Harry, Hermione, Susan, Ronald and Ginevra Weasley, perhaps the Twins. Neville Longbottom, Daphne Greengrass, Draco and Theo Nott."
"That's a damn sight more than you had originally mentioned."
Severus shrugged, "Perhaps. Minerva and I have been considering bringing back the duelling club. But in the meantime, those are Hermione's friends, all of them are likely capable and it wouldn't do Harry Hermine and Susan any harm to get used to working in other teams. If they rely too much on each other they're easily beaten."
Moody considered him for a moment. "Fair point. Maybe I'll speak to some of my Aurors. Shaklebolt would likely be a good fit. Scrimgeor maybe, your kids have met them both. It might be worth asking Albus if he'll consider allowing an Auror to oversee the duelling club, that way we can pick out talent to hone their skills in different groups."
"Annalise Fawley hexed him in the great hall yesterday because he gave my daughter a time turner. I don't imagine he'll accept any suggestions from me any time soon."
Moody blinked at him momentarily nonplussed. "He gave a thirteen year old witch a time turner?"
"Yes."
"Fuck me. Mad old bastard. Perhaps he is losing his marbles slightly. No…don't you suggest anything. I'll run it past Amelia and get her to suggest it. Maybe through Filius. He's the duelling champion isn't he?"
"He is indeed, Minerva intends to speak with him about helping if Albus agrees to the club. Why it wasn't him last time I have no idea."
Moody nodded, "Good. RIght I'll be off then. I'll see you on Sunday morning, say, nine?"
"I'm sure the children will be delighted," he replied sardonically.
Moody laughed, disappearing through the floo as Severus sunk onto the sofa, praying to whatever gods might be listening that he got some peace that night and wondering if the world truly had gone mad. That had been the most pleasant conversation he had ever had with Alastor Moody and it had definitely been the only one where the man hadn't insinuated he couldn't be trusted. Groaning, he decided that the night was a lost cause. Nothing made sense and there was no way he was going to be able to concentrate now. Pouring himself a drink, he picked up the fallen book and tried to immerse himself in its pages, hoping that the world made more sense in the morning.