CHAPTER EIGHTY-THREE
By the time Remus had gotten back, around an hour into the trip, the boys had already helped Jane pack her things back up and moved her to their compartment. Sirius had counted twelve unopened cigarette boxes, but he didn't ask. Remus had walked into the compartment, his scarlet and gold prefect badge pinned to his robes. He had looked around at his friends' solemn faces, and James had told him what had happened.
The five friends remain mostly in silence. Sirius had tried to lighten the mood a few times, but to no avail. Finally, Jane looked around at her friends with eyes that were still all red and puffy.
"I'm sorry for ruining everybody's good time," she said. "I didn't mean for you to find me like that."
"It-It's all right, Jane," James said. "It w—"
"No, it's not," Jane interrupted, looking out the window, watching raindrops hit the glass. "It's been two and half months; I shouldn't still be having breakdowns like that."
"It's expected," Peter said.
Jane let out a sharp, disparaging laugh and rolled her eyes up to the ceiling of the compartment.
"It's embarrassing is what it is," she said, almost disgusted with herself. "I haven't acted like that in weeks, and suddenly, I just freak out. It's pathetic."
The guys didn't know what to say; she didn't seem to want to hear them anyway.
"I just want to feel normal again," Jane said, still staring at the ceiling. "I want everything to be okay. I just need someone to tell me that everything is gonna be okay whether they believe it will be or not. And I need that person to be someone other than my therapist because that just makes me feel even crazier."
"You're not crazy, Janie."
Jane's heart skipped a beat as she heard the name that only Sirius and her mother had called her. And for a brief second, she could picture her mum clearly in her mind. She could picture perfectly that smile which she thought she had forgotten.
Tears began to sting Jane's eyes, but she smiled at the same time, letting out a small laugh.
"My mum's the only one that called me that. She was the only one that used to call me Janie," Jane said.
Sirius' face blanched.
"I'm so sorry. I-I won't—"
"No," Jane said quickly, looking at him, "don't ever stop calling me that."
By the time they had gotten to the school, and the Sorting ceremony was over with, the friends were somewhat back to normal. Remus had told Lily, who, no doubt, told their roommates. Jane, though she loved Marlene, was a little upset about her knowing. By the end of tomorrow, the whole school would know about Jane's mum; Marlene told everything she knew, not that she meant any harm by it.
Dumbledore stood up and gave his speech as usual, his eyes lingering on James and Sirius as he talked about the school rules. Jane didn't pay much attention, he always said the same things. Always talked about the rules and then announced the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. Jane had heard rumours about the position being cursed. At first she hadn't believed it, but after Mrs. Pinwall had quit at the end of last term (for undisclosed reasons), Jane finally concluded that such a curse did exist. After all, that was four teachers in four years; something had to be going on.
"I never congratulated you on being a prefect," Jane said to Remus as Dumbledore continued to talk. "It's cool."
"I don't think 'cool' is the correct word," Sirius butted in. "It's more of a disgrace."
"Yeah," James agreed, "he's never gonna want to do anything fun anymore. All prefects are killjoys."
"Hmm, that's interesting," Remus said. "Lily's a prefect too. Maybe I should tell her what you think—"
"No!" James said quickly.
"Dumbledore's announcing the new Defence professor," Peter said, and they all looked up to the staff table to see a plump little man by the name of Sturgis Abernathy.
Jane looked along the table, and her mouth almost dropped open.
"You've got to be kidding," she said aloud.
Jane watched as Hellen Richmond stood at the staff table as Dumbledore introduced her as the new school counsellor.
"Oh, yeah" Remus said. "I read in the Prophet that they brought her in because of all the things that have been going on. A lot of kids have lost family members and stuff with all the Death Eater attacks."
"She's my therapist," Jane said, never taking her eyes off the woman. "Christ! I didn't think she'd follow me to school."
"Who knows. Maybe you won't have to see her," Sirius said.
Jane gave him a stern look that told him to shut up. He rolled his eyes.
"Fine, be a pessimist."
Throughout the entire feast, Jane kept casting wry stares up at the woman. Just what she needed. For someone in this school to figure out she was seeing a therapist. She could hear the rumours now.
"Yeah, Jane Hensworth. I heard that her mum killed herself, and then, she turned into a complete nutter."
Jane groaned into her hands.
After the feast, Jane and the boys went up to their favourite spots in the common room. Usually, Jane would have worked on her scrapbook, but seeing as how she had left it in Stockbridge, that was quite impossible. However, she had remembered the few pictures she had taken near the end of summer; they were still in their little package from Magnus' Magical Prints.
She had let the boys pass them around as she lay in one of the armchairs.
"I see that you and that girl made up," James said.
"Sarah," Jane corrected. "Her name is Sarah."
"Who's this?"
Jane looked up at the picture Sirius was holding.
"That's Sammy. She's from the town over. Goes to school with Sarah."
Sirius smirked at the picture.
"She's got a nice arse."
Jane got up and snatched the picture of Sammy away from him.
"You're such a dog," she said.
Sirius stopped smirking.
"No, I'm not. Why would you say that?" he said defensively.
Jane gave him a bemused look.
"It's an expression," she said in a bewildered tone.
Sirius seemed to relax a little bit, and tried to laugh it off.
"I know that," he said.
Jane just continued to stare at him. And he smiled at her nervously.
"Stop being weird," she demanded before going to sit back down in her chair. "You're freaking me out."