A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews guys! I did not realize that many people actually care about this story; I knew there was a couple of you, but I was not expecting such feedback when I had a little hiatus. But, by popular demand, I will be continuing with weekly updates! So I hope you all are satisfied with that!
Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrated! I spent it writing this (for the most part); this chapter wasn't hard to write in terms of length or plot as much as more conversation, and deep conversation at that. But I won't spoil it; I'll talk to you on the other side!
Chapter 27: Ithaca
Eleanor despised packing; even after several decades and dozens of moves, she found no joy or even tolerance of the chore. So, she made do by occupying herself with other activities during the process, primarily irritating her siblings or finding abstract subjects to research, anything she could think of. Of course, even with the colossal Cullen mansion, packing didn't take very long, especially with half a dozen vampires and Earnest as ringleader. They had a system by now, and it had taken only a day and a half before most everyone's possessions, not to mention all the cars, had been shipped off to the East Coast.
The Cullens kept most of the furniture in the house, choosing to cover them in between their stays rather than lug them across thousands of miles; only the more personal affections of the family were transported from place to place. From Carine's office paintings and books, to Archie's impressive computer set up, to Edythe's CD collection, it all travelled with them. The difference this time was the accommodation for the two new humans of the household.
Unlike the vampires, Edythe and Beau had to keep some items on hand until the moving day, though Earnest had finally relented to cleaning out the kitchen and letting the teenagers eat out to avoid throwing out uneaten food. Beau's things were very minimal, so he had no trouble packing them with the rest of the Cullens' boxes. He was content to live out of a suitcase for last few days before the move.
Carine and Earnest had decided against a cross-country drive; though such a journey was not an issue for them and the other siblings, Edythe and Beau would not fair well being on the road for so long. Worried for their comfort, the Cullen parents had booked first class flights from Seattle to Ithaca for themselves and the two humans, making the process only a little over ten hours, rather than several days. The rest of the Cullen children would be running; the thought of the landscape and potential hunting opportunities made Eleanor giddy just thinking about it.
She found herself on the third level of the house and made her way to the far bedroom at the end of the hall. The walls were completely devoid of all the decor, having been packed away in the attic to protect them until the Cullens would need them again. Eleanor knocked precariously on the door with two fingers, not bothering for an answer as she slipped inside the room.
Edythe's bedroom was bare except for the open suitcase leaning against the dresser. Her bed had been shipped to Ithaca, so she was making do on her family's beds for the last two nights. Her wall of CDs—which had been replaced by Archie's gift of a music player—was barren, Edythe choosing to donate her collection to a local Seattle wayward house. The fabric had been taken down from the walls and curtains were drawn back; Edythe herself sat crosslegged on the carpet in the middle, picking absently at the thick threads with her head casted down.
"Hey, you done yet?" Eleanor asked boisterously, leaning against the door jamb. Edythe inclined her head slightly in response, then nodded minutely.
"Yeah, I am, I suppose," she said softly, not looking up to meet Eleanor's gaze. Eleanor's eyebrows furrowed, not understanding Edythe's mood. She stepped into the room, and was settled on the floor besides her within a half second. She knocked her knee gently against the human's.
"Hey. Why the long face?" she asked. "Tomorrow is the start of the next great chapter."
Edythe finally met Eleanor's gaze, and the vampire was shocked to see the emerald green eyes covered with a thin film of unshed moisture. Her jaw slackened slightly in surprise and her immediate response was to check Edythe over physically, trying to find the cause of her pain. But she could find nothing amiss.
"Are you hurting?" she asked quickly, golden eyes still racking across her body intently. But Edythe shook her head.
"I'm fine," she said, trying to brush it off as she made to wipe across her eyes. Eleanor frowned.
"You don't look fine," she disagreed. "What's wrong?" Edythe shook her head slightly but before meeting her gaze with a small, sad smile.
"Just…it occurred to me," she said with low sigh. "That this is the last night I'll spend here."
Eleanor gave her a long look, not fulling understanding what Edythe was getting at.
"I'll never live here again," Edythe elaborated, "I'll never have this bedroom again." As she said it, her eyes drifted out the black window, finding the river just between the trees. She used to be able to see every facet of the body of water, but she had long ago adjusted to her human eyes. As her gaze returned to Eleanor, she added, "When it's time to move back here, I won't be with you."
Eleanor stiffened as it finally seemed to click, and just after, she felt her heart, though unbeating, clench slightly. She knew, objectively, Edythe was right; they would not return to Forks until long after everyone they knew here was dead and gone, at very least several decades. It would be off limits for as long as a human life could last, to ensure when they returned, no one would remember them. But, in that time, Edythe would not be seventeen; she would have aged, grown with Beau, and the possibility of them being alive when that day came was zero.
Eleanor's eyes grew soft, sympathetic, as she came to the conclusion, and she exchanged a long moment with Edythe, knowing both of them were thinking the same thing. Eleanor realized, perhaps for the first time since Edythe's change, that she would lose her one day. To be mortal was to die, just as much as being a vampire was to live. And Edythe would die one day, Beau too. And the Cullens would live beyond that, and eventually return to Forks, to the same place but completely different, to a house with a bedroom where its former occupant would not longer reside in.
Forks had changed so much for them; not just for Edythe and Beau, but all the Cullens. They preferred the area for its lack of sunlight and plentiful hunting opportunities, but the experience of the last year alone would keep it as a special, irreplaceable place for the coven. To return here in a few decades—not that far off, to Eleanor's lifespan—without Edythe caused an ache in Eleanor's chest she didn't know how to cope with. She couldn't begin to even imagine a life where Edythe wasn't there; it was too painful to think about.
So she reached out and pulled Edythe to her side, wrapping her arm around her shoulder and leaning her head against hers. Edythe responded, pressing her cheek into Eleanor's shoulder. Only after a low, cracked intake of breath from the human did Eleanor speak.
"You wanted this," she reminded her quietly.
"I know," Edythe said; her voice was clear, but there was a slight tremor in it. "And I don't regret the decision. But that doesn't mean I have to like every consequence." Eleanor didn't respond, instead pulling Edythe closer, pressing her cheek into the top of Edythe's head. Edythe herself worked to keep her breath calm and even, trying to force down the emotion. Her thoughts had spiraled out of control in the past twenty minutes, as she realized she would never return to Forks with her family again, knowing by the time it was safe for them, she and Beau would be dead. Of course, such conclusions were simplistic, and definitely should have crossed her mind before. But she was reminded again of the repercussion of her choice, not just on herself, but her family. She was reminded again the package that came with being human again.
The two sisters didn't say anything, just held each other as their final night together in the Forks Cullen mansion drew closer.
It all went much quicker than Beau was anticipating; one minute he was packing up his small bedroom of most of his effects, and it seemed the next that he was hugging his father goodbye. Charlie's face was gruff as he took his son into an awkward one-armed hug on the front stoop of the house.
"I know I don't need to say it, but be careful, Beau," he said, eyes not meeting his son's. "Focus on school, and listen to Carine and Earnest." Beau smiled, appreciating the proper fatherly gesture, even if it wasn't necessary.
"Of course, Dad. I'll call, and I will come visit when I can," he promised, the now familiar guilt pressed down onto his ribcage. He knew he had to make the most of the next few years with Charlie, knowing eventually only Edythe and he could come to him, to avoid Charlie seeing the Cullens and noticing they did not age. Charlie nodded, and, after a moment's silence, spoke once more.
"Love you, kid," he mumbled quietly. Beau's hold on his shoulder tightened in response.
"Me too, Dad," Beau replied before stepping away. Charlie smiled, then waved to Earnest who sat unobtrusively in the driver's side of the Volvo. The vampire waved back as Beau made his way down the walk, throwing his carry on into the backseat. As he rounded the front of the car, he gazed back up at the house he had called home for a year. His eyes remained a moment longer on the window to his bedroom, where Edythe used to hoist herself through every night, to the room they would stay curled up on his small bed, talking quietly for hours into the night, unbeknownst to Charlie across the hall.
His chest clenched slightly at the idea such nights had ceased, and that chapter of their relationship was over. But, he reminded himself, he was going on to something much greater. And, with that, he settled into the passenger seat, waving once more to Charlie as Earnest pulled away from the curb, ignoring the lump in his throat.
Miles away, Edythe stood, back ramrod straight in the center of the main floor of the Cullen house. Her eyes raked across the grand staircase, the glint of metallic appliances in the kitchen, the glimpse of the mahogany dining table. She recalled that the biggest fight she'd ever had with her family was in that room, when she and the rest of them had realized what her reckless stunt had caused, what it had put in motion. It was when she had discovered her feelings for Beau, though she had not accepted them until later. It was the catalyst that had led her here.
Edythe's eyes fell on the grand piano, covered in its white tarp just off the entrance. Briefly, she allowed herself to ponder what her family would do with it when they returned, how ever many decades later. Carine and Royal were both capable pianists, but they hardly ever played, leaving such liberty to Edythe. She couldn't see them using it, especially since Earnest had bought the instrument specifically for her. But she forced that thought away, recognizing and then rebelling against the dull ache that kindled in the pit of her stomach at the thought.
The cool hands on her shoulders brought her back to reality and she shook her head slightly, as if to banish the thoughts away. Carine squeezed the top of Edythe's shoulders gently, running her hands gently down her arms, pulling Edythe to her. She leaned down, her lips against her daughter's ear.
"Time for the next adventure?" she asked quietly. Edythe let out a small breath, then nodded, flipping her hand palm up to grasp Carine's as they turned toward the front door.
Edythe and Beau spent most of the first part of the trip from SeaTac airport asleep, having had to wake up at two in the morning for their early morning flight. Carine and Earnest sat across the aisle in first class while Edythe slumped against Beau's shoulder and he laid his head on top of hers. The two humans dozed until the rough landing jerked them awake; once they had navigated through the terminal to their connecting gate, they went off in search of breakfast.
Carine tried not to make a face at the abundance of fast food chains, but was satisfied when Edythe and Beau returned with ready-made pancakes and juices, rather than donuts and coffee. They sat cross-legged on the floor besides the benches, the vampires giving a wide berth to the large glass windows, where the sun was beginning to rise.
Beau watched, slightly impressed at how well the Cullens went about boarding the plane with the sun cresting the horizon; they made good use of the designer winter apparel to shield their skin from any obtrusive rays, making use out the garments they didn't need for warmth. Edythe curled up on her seat once they were settled—she still was not a fan of early wake up calls, and probably never would be—and Beau was content to sit with arm around her for the entirety of the flight, entertaining himself with asking Carine and Earnest questions about the new house and area, while Edythe listened half-heartedly, only half-conscious.
The plane touched down at Tompkins Regional at just around midday, though the sun had been hidden behind the hazy gleam of clouds that hovered over the town. Edythe and Beau acquiesced to holding off on food until they were out of the airport, Earnest insisting that the teenagers have a full, fruitful lunch after such a meager breakfast.
Carine's Mercedes was waiting for them in the long-term parking garage, an arrangement by the company the Cullens had paid to move the vehicles. As Beau slid into the familiar back seat, he felt a comforting sense of peace, of connection as he inhaled the Cullens' scents. As they made their way west toward downtown in search of food, Beau looked out the window at his new home. It reminded him a lot of Forks, though slightly more populated. They found a small bistro just inside the city proper and took a table, Carine and Earnest electing small portion meals to allow the teenagers to consume most of the food surreptitiously.
With their hunger satisfied, the four Cullens made their way north, heading for their house. Beau had seen it in pictures, of course, but the anticipation was still building, his eyes focused outside the back window as the snow-covered forest and trees past by at far above the legal speed, the frozen river and waterfalls just glistening slivers of color as they raced by. As he expected, they kept driving past the houses and lawns and all suggestions of human habitation, and then some, before they finally turned off, heading northwest. A long drive turned into another, until finally the cave of trees that covered the Mercedes gave way, revealing the house that perfectly matched the pictures Beau had seen.
The house was old, built in the later half of the nineteenth century, and white, just like the one in Forks. But there was a two-story veranda, with large pillars and spindles taking in the design, only outshined by the elegant white windows. The large garage was just barely visible from the front lawn as they made their way toward it. Earnest touched a button on the roof of the Mercedes and the garage door reacted, lifting deftly and then closing behind them as they parked inside the spacious area. Beau and Edythe stepped out, pausing to stretch before glancing around. Beau's Honda and Royal's BMW were parked neatly beside the space the Mercedes now occupied, with an empty space where Edythe's Volvo would take up, once it arrived in a few days.
After a moment of hesitation to grab their bags from the back seat, they followed Carine and Earnest into the house. The door from the garage led to a spacious mudroom, with two turns offs, one into the kitchen and the other formal dining room. Beau's eyes widened as he took in the kitchen; for a family that predominantly fed off the blood of woodland animals, the kitchen was a chef's dream. His hand grazed against the marble countertops encasing the large island before turning to the front family room just off to the side.
The room was already fully furnished, with a colossal sectional taking up the primary real estate, curled around the equally massive flat-screen—Eleanor's doing. The staircase on the far end was the focal piece of the front foyer, and Edythe moved to climb them, Beau following her. They moved about the house, finally walking the floorpan they had seen over and over again. Carine's and Earnest's office took up the far end of the second floor, with Archie's room, and Eleanor and Royal's room taking up the rest of the space, save for two full bathrooms and two extra rooms that would be purposed for projects and the Cullens' extensive gaming devices and equipment.
The third floor was smaller, made up of only two rooms and a full bath; nevertheless, the bedroom was more than four times Beau's room in Forks, already equipped with two spacious closets and an en suite, fully customized to their desires, thanks to Earnest.
Edythe moved easily toward the far wall, flopping onto the center of the bed; the familiar feeling was comforting and Edythe sat up on her knees, reaching over and pulling Beau toward her. He came willingly, crawling to the center of the California king mattress and lounging on his side beside her. She immediately entangled her legs with his, her lips finding his jaw.
"Welcome home," she murmured against his skin. Beau chuckled.
"It certainly is," he replied; his nose ran along her temple. She shifted ever closer and he felt himself respond. He rolled onto top of her, his breath hot against her neck as he spoke.
"Is this the first thing we're going to do?" she asked teasingly, though her eyes had already seemed to darken. Beau chuckled, but it was more akin to a grunt.
"Why not?" he asked. "We're already shacking up together, or living in sin, or whatever you call it." He meant the phrase jokingly, but was surprised when Edythe froze under him. He glanced down, taken aback to see wariness on her face, though she immediately covered it with a poker face.
"What's wrong?" he asked. She shook her head.
"Nothing," she replied, her arms coming back around his neck, though he could feel she was not as ardent as before.
"What?" he demanded. She didn't respond and he pulled back from her, sitting besides her on the bed while she stayed on her back. Edythe tried to brush it off.
"It's nothing, seriously," she attempted to dissuade him, "I didn't mean to ruin the moment."
"Something's bothering you," he said simply; it wasn't a question or an accusation, just a statement of fact. She didn't answer, but she didn't meet his gaze.
"Was it the phrase?" he asked. "Cause you know I was joking." Edythe tried to smile lightly, but the hesitance was't gone from her face.
"I know, Beau," she assured him. "It's just…well, it brought up some things I had been thinking about earlier today. Or more, last night." Beau cocked his eyebrow, unsure of where she was going with this. Edythe sighed, turning on her side, propping her head on her elbow.
"We've kind thrown out the whole 'living in sin' thing, haven't we?" she said, another attempt at a joke. "I don't see why we need to keep talking, when we can much more with our bodies." As she spoke, her fingers on her free hand went to her jeans, about to undo the buttons. But Beau was working to focus on what she had said, and the look on her face just before she had tried to conceal it.
It was a face he had seen many times from her throughout their relationship, primarily before she had been turned. It was a strange expression, filled with many different emotions: guilt and self-contempt warring with desire and yearning. Such expressions had been so commonplace before, especially around one particular topic, one which he had to go to Carine to find any type of explanation. In that second, it clicked, and his eyes widened almost imperceptibly; the words came from his mouth before he consciously thought them through and, thus, was unable to stop them.
"This is about your soul, isn't it?" he asked sharply. Edythe froze, her hands pausing at her belt button. She slowly turned her head up to meet his gaze, seeing the calculated, concentrated expression there. She could feel the wariness in her own features as she responded.
"What are you taking about?" she asked.
"Just now, that look on your face. It's the same look that you always got when we discussed me becoming a vampire," he said, matter of fact. Edythe pursed her lips and didn't answer. He could see the stubbornness there, and he sighed.
"Edythe, Carine told me you believe vampires have no souls."
Edythe looked back at him evenly, before dropping her hand from her hip to the place her palm against the mattress. She took a deep breath, eyelids closing and then opening slowly.
"Yes, I do believe that," she admitted cautiously. Beau didn't answer, his clear blue eyes waiting for an explanation. She sighed again, shifting her gaze to the mattress as she began to pick at the threads.
"You have to remember, Beau, that though I am seventeen, that we are technically the same generation now, that I was raised in a different time, a different era. The beliefs then were far different from what they are now. It was engrained in me the expectation of that time; and, in that time, the qualifications for eternal paradise were very strict. And they still are, to some people."
She glanced up to meet his gaze for a second.
"A vampire's very nature is considered demonic; to live off the essence of another being is blasphemous. And for what we have to do—what I had to do—to live makes any chance of exoneration partially negligible." She smiled slightly as she continued, ticking off on her fingers. "You know us, Beau. We've killed, we've lied, we've stolen, we curse, we don't keep holy the sabbath, we covet—"
"What could you possibly covet?" Beau interrupted. "You have everything."
Edythe smiled indulgently.
"I coveted you. And I know every one of my family has coveted a human life, or coveted what they cannot attain, trapped by our nature." She shrugged, trying to act casual. "By that list, breaking even one of those rules automatically takes you of the running. And we've done far more damage than one."
"So you're saying that by breaking a commandment, you lose your soul?" Beau asked.
"No, I'm saying that in our transformations, our souls are lost; when our human bodies die and in becoming the creatures that vampires are, we lose the part of ourselves that made us human; souls are the definition of humanity."
"Exactly," Beau said, "A soul is what dictates everything a person does. Those without souls cannot feel, cannot make rationales based on anything other than practicality and logic. Souls are the natural essence of a human being; it was guides on decision between right and wrong. Our first meeting in Biology should be enough proof that vampires have souls, the ability to govern right and wrong.
"If what you are saying is true and vampires really lost their souls, then none of you, not Carine, not Archie, not any of you, would be doing what you're doing. To make that choice, the selfless choice, not just once, but constantly, day in and day out, that is the very definition of humanity, or at least what humanity is supposed to be: to do what is right."
"You've never been a vampire, Beau," Edythe responded firmly. "You don't realize exactly how uncontrollable thirst is, how it takes you over, turns you into a monster."
"It's a primal reaction," Beau contested, "It's the same as a lion that is forced to live in a pasture full of sheep. No one expects the lion to not attack; it's nature. Is it a sin for a cat to kill a mouse?"
"There's nothing natural about killing innocent people." Edythe said tightly, eyes narrowing.
"Yes, and you know that, and all of you fight it," Beau responded. "If that doesn't show empathy, if that doesn't indicate the presence of a soul to you, then I don't know what else it could be."
Edythe opened her mouth to respond, but Beau continued.
"If you really believe that vampires are nothing but soulless monsters, then give one reason to explain mating."
Edythe didn't respond, caught off guard by the question. Beau looked at her expectantly; when she didn't speak, he continued, his hand lifting and his fingers coming down as he gave his points.
"There's obviously no biological, evolutionary component of it. It does not—by design— help with creating strong covens, as most are very small. There is no instinctive protective edge, as vampires will get very territorial when defending their mates, to the point of death." Beau paused for a moment, not needing to bring up Joss or Victor's names. "There's no rationale for mating in any sense I can see. And if vampires were soulless, if that part of them really dies with their human selves, then they wouldn't have the capacity to love. And yet…" he gestured vaguely.
"Another follow-up: if vampires lost their souls in their transformation, how does that explain you? You're human now; the transformation was reversed. Do you think you just get your soul back because you're human? That it regenerates? What's most possible: you regenerating your soul after over a hundred years as a vampire, at the hands of some nomad like Edric, or you never having lost it to begin with?"
Edythe didn't speak immediately, shocked by Beau's words. When put that way, she had to admit his line of logic tracked far better than hers. But she couldn't help but find herself hitting a wall; such beliefs, though taught in a time of relative antiquity and ignorance, were not easily absolved. But she shook her head, not in disagreement, but to clear it to gather her thoughts.
"Regardless of whether we have souls or not, the vampire track record with following spiritual guidelines is very poor. It's part of being what we are."
"Do you really think that because we're human and they're not, we get a chance at eternal paradise?" Beau's question was low, but serious, eyes trained on Edythe's face. Edythe looked down, away from the intensity there, but shook her head.
"It's too late for me," she said. "I was a vampire; and, just because I'm not any more doesn't mean everything I've done can be overlooked."
"Well, if we're going off those rules, Heaven is going to be a pretty empty place," Beau commented. Edythe didn't respond, not sure if he meant it as a joke or not. But he just shrugged.
"You know, Edythe, I've never really been a religious person, but I have always thought that just being a good person is enough for me, and should be enough for whatever is planned after death. We can only do the best with what we're given, and I think all of you have, more than that, honestly. And I can't imagine, given everything your family has sacrificed, that any supernatural entity would keep you out."
Edythe smiled slightly, glad to hear the slight tease in his voice. The conversation had turned inexplicably delicate, but she appreciated his heedfulness; knowing they had grown with ideals completely different from one another. But Edythe had found over the years, that a considerable portion of what she had been taught as a schoolgirl did not hold water in reality. Even the mere fact of education, Carine alone was proof enough that disclosed all the discussion and belief of female roles in the household. And Edythe knew from personal experience that she and Beau choosing to make love did not have any bearing on the strength of their relationship, nor would it make their marriage night—whenever that happened—any less magical than it would inevitably be.
Her smile widened and relaxed, and Beau knew she had worked through the disarray in her head. He knew it didn't mean she would take all his words for gospel, but, at the very least, give her peace of mind and an extra perspective to absorb and think on. He relaxed as well, his smile warm, affectionate.
"I don't want eternal paradise if you're not in it," he said. "I'd rather live eternity in Hell with you by my side, than in Heaven without you." Edythe smiled, the blush creeping her cheeks gently. She pulled herself to Beau and he slung his arm across her body that still lay facing up to him, his hand grazing her hip.
"Any afterlife without you would be my own personal Hell," she murmured, reaching over to press her lips to his other hand. His thumb rubbed across her skin in response, reaching out to brush the loose strand of hair from where it had fallen over her eyes.
"Then let's plan to staying together, no matter where we end up," he proposed.
Edythe nodded and Beau leaned down to kiss her, pouring as much love and affection as he could into the gesture. She reciprocated, her arms snaking around his neck and pulling him down on top of her. He laughed, but allowed himself to be undressed, his hands going for her shirt.
The two humans were completely unaware of how unconcealed their conversation had been. Carine and Earnest stood precariously in the hallway on the second floor, their eyes meeting as they heard Beau's proclamation, and Edythe's response. It brought to them reminders of their own conversations, not about their potential for damnation, but the implications of Edythe's state. They were reminded once more of the transient nature of their situation now, how, in just a few short decades, Edythe would be gone, and Beau with her. Their deaths were unthinkable, but the fate beyond death even more so.
Neither parent could bear the thought of losing either of their youngest children and so, like the rest of them, they pushed such thoughts away, focusing only on the present.
A/N: So….did not intend for so many serious and sad parts in one chapter, but that's the way it turned out. Sorry for the touch upon religion, but for how much Edward talked about it in TS, I had to at least bring it up to some degree. Also, a large point of writing this story was for Edythe, Beau, and the rest of the Cullens to deal with the implications of Edythe being human, both the good and the bad. And this is part of that. How something so simple could have so many varying degrees of repercussions and outcomes and setbacks; I think it's partly why this story, though hasn't moved a lot in terms of action, is still full in the terms of reflection (at least, I hope that's what you, the readers, are getting out of it).
P.S. never been to Ithaca so no idea how it looks other than through pictures.
I'm gradually moving these updates to be back on the Saturday/Sunday update track, so the next one won't come out until late next week probably. I hope you all enjoyed! Please let me know hat you think, or if there's anything specific you would like to for me to touch on! :)