When Olivia still hadn't returned his calls, Cyrus decided to pay her a visit at her office. When he realized she wasn't there, he went to her apartment. He banged on the door.
"Olivia, open the door. Why haven't you been returning my calls," he screamed.
He banged on her door louder when she didn't answer. She was laying in bed when she heard the faint knocking but didn't get up.
He waited and knocked again when several news notifications popped up on his phone screen.
"President Grant files for divorce from First Lady Mellie Grant."
"After 15 years of marriage, President Grant files for divorce from Mellie Grant.
"Breaking news: For the first time in history a sitting President divorces his first lady."
"President Grant's doomed marriage finally heads for divorce."
"Oh shit." Cyrus sprinted back down the hall out to the elevator.
He ran through the halls of the white house thankful that Fitz hadn't yet rejected his security pass. He tore into the oval, not bothering to knock.
"Sir," he called.
"Cyrus, I haven't received your letter yet."
"That's because I haven't written it."
"Then why are you here?"
"I'm here to beg for my job."
"No."
"This job because it is all I have, this job and James and right now James won't talk to me because he wants a child and I don't. I'm short and old and gay, there is not a place in the world where I can run for office and win, the world doesn't work like that. This is the best that I can do, being your sidekick. I didn't rig the election for you, I did it for me because you were my only shot at getting anywhere close to this. That's why I did it. That's the truth, Fitzgerald, please give me my job back."
Fitz was quiet for a while, thinking about Cyrus' uncharacteristically vulnerable outburst."Go home, Cyrus."
He could see the look of defeat and disappointment on Cyrus' face.
"Take a few days off, give James his baby, and then come back to work."
Cyrus let out a deep breath.
"Thank you, Fitz."
Abby opened Olivia's door with her spare key. They'd called her dozens of times. It was afternoon now and she hadn't shown up to the office. Harrison, Huck, and Stephen were back at the office, it was just Abby who'd come to check on Olivia because she knew the reason she didn't come in might have to do with her pregnancy.
She opened the door and walked into the apartment. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary and she couldn't readily tell if Olivia was home.
"Olivia," Abby screamed.
When she heard no response she walked through the apartment until she reached her bedroom and saw Olivia curled on her bed under a blanket.
"Olivia, what's going on? Why didn't you come in today?" She pulled the blanket back and realized Olivia was crying quietly under the blanket. Her eyes were swollen and red with bags underneath them and though her crying wasn't audible, tears rolled down her cheeks.
"Oh my god, what happened? Did something happen to the baby- what's going on?"
Abby waited for a response and got none. She leaned closer. "Did someone die?"
Olivia was catatonic.
"Olivia, I'm worried, you have to tell me what's going on? Please I'm not leaving you like this."
She waited and when there was still no response, she dropped her purse and took off her jacket and shoes and climbed in bed behind Olivia, and cuddled her.
"Fine! You don't want to talk then fine but I'm not leaving you here alone like this?"
Abby had her phone in her hand and quickly texted the guys at the office that she wouldn't be coming back with Olivia.
After some time Abby got bored in bed and got up. Olivia was in the same position and hadn't moved much from when she initially saw her.
When she checked her phone she realized she'd been lying down for longer than she realized. It was almost 6pm.
"I'm gonna assume you haven't eaten all day," Abby said, "I'll make you something to eat."
Abby headed off to the kitchen and made soup with the ingredients she found. After a while headed back towards the bedroom but stopped when she realized Olivia had moved to the bathroom.
Olivia sat in the bathroom to get some space for herself.
She was completely and utterly shattered. She'd never felt more devastated in her life than she did when Fitz slammed the door and left. The words he said to her and the way he looked at her kept replaying in her mind and every time they did a new set of tears came.
Crying for the better part of 24 hours had left her with a painful headache and burning eyes.
When Abby knocked on the bathroom door asking her to come and eat she ignored her. When she knocked asking to be let in she ignored her. When she knocked telling her she was going home to get clothes and come back she ignored her. She didn't know when Abby came back nor did she realize when she fell asleep. The next day she woke to the sound of Harrison and Stephen calling her from outside the bathroom. It went on for some time until she heard the sound of kicking as if they were trying to break down the door. They succeeded in breaking it down and found Olivia sitting in the same spot she had been for hours.
"What the hell is wrong with you Olivia, didn't you hear us calling you?" Harrison said with a mix of anger and worry.
Harrison, Stephen, and Abby stood over her staring.
"What's wrong with her?" Stephen asked. "She's catatonic."
"I told you. I've never seen her like this and I don't know what to do. I don't think she's eaten in the past maybe two days- I'm not sure."
"What do we do?" Harrison
"I don't know- should we carry her out? Or take her to the hospital or something- I mean, I'm at a loss here."
"Wait-" Abby said, "can you give me a second alone with her"
"Uhh…okay," Stephen said hesitantly.
Harrison agreed as well and they both headed out. Abby sat beside Olivia. "It is him. Is it the president? Did something happen with him?"
When a fresh wave of tears came and Olivia let out an audible sob Abby had all the confirmation she needed. She stood and walked back to Stephen and Harrison in the living room. "I can take care of her," Abby said. "Just cover for her for a few days."
"What's wrong," Stephen asked.
"I can't tell but she'll be okay,"
"We can stay and help," Harrison said.
"Nope, get out, I'll take care of her," Abby said.
"Fine," They both agreed with a huff.
One week later.
"Olivia, get up, we have things we need to do today."
She yawned and sat up.
"Were you having a nightmare or something, you kept mumbling 'I'm sorry' in your sleep."
Olivia didn't answer and after trying to pry information from her all week, Abby was growing accustomed to silence.
"I'm going to the doctor today?" Olivia said.
"Have you decided if you're keeping it?" Abby asked.
"I don't know."
"Are you having an abortion?"
"I don't know."
"You are literally about to be 8 weeks pregnant and you still haven't figured that out. You've been acting like it's not happening. You have to make a decision."
"You don't think I fucking know, Abby. I'm trying okay," Olivia barked then she took a breath. "I'm sorry."
Abby sighed, "it's fine but Olivia you know you want to keep it. I don't know what he said or did but if you want to keep your baby then keep it."
Olivia didn't respond.
"I'm going to make you breakfast, go and bathe, and get dressed."
She walked out of the room and then stormed back to confront Olivia.
"Remember when Charles beat me so bad you had to help me bathe for two weeks, you helped me wash my vagina and ass and everything in between. You had to brush my teeth and feed me. Don't act like we haven't been through hell together. I can't fucking help you if you don't tell me what's going on. I've never judged you, I've never looked down on you. I call you my fucking sister and my fucking soul mate so it would be nice if you actually remembered that. I don't want to keep guessing what's going on, I need you to actually tell me." Abby said snarkily. "Whenever you're ready." She stormed back to the kitchen.
Olivia took a deep breath to try to calm herself. She wished she could vocalize the entire ordeal but she was still processing it. Her worst fears about their relationship were realized and it wasn't easy to share that even if it was Abby.
Olivia showered slowly and put on Lululemon leggings and an oversized gray sweater. She threw her hair into a messy bun and headed to the kitchen to eat. She escaped morning sickness so far and hoped the food wouldn't make her nauseous. She ate everything Abby set on her plate. After not eating and barely drinking for days so early in her pregnancy she was regretful and determined not to do it again.
They got to the office just before her appointment time but still had to wait an extra half hour until they were able to see someone. A medical assistant took Olivia's medical information, checked her vital signs and took her height and weight then asked her to urinate in a cup, and then asked her to return to the small private waiting area.
A middle-aged blonde woman called them to her office. Olivia sat opposite Abby trying to take deep breaths to calm herself. Abby knew Olivia was nervous but she also knew it made no sense trying to reach out to her, she would lie and say she was fine. The doctor walked into the office about 2 minutes after she called them and closed the door and sat on her stool then the medical assistant who had taken Olivia's information earlier followed.
"Hello ladies, I'm Dr. Williams. I see here your pregnant," she said.
Abby didn't give Olivia a chance to speak, she took charge.
"I'm Abby, this is Olivia, yes she's around 8 weeks pregnant, we just wanted to get some information and maybe do an ultrasound or something."
"Have you seen any other doctor before?'
"No," Abby answered.
"Okay, so no prenatal vitamins have been taken or anything?"
"Nope, nothing," Abby answered again.
"Dr. Williams, I took the morning after pill, how is it that I still ended up pregnant?" Olivia asked.
"The morning after pill only works by delaying ovulation so the sperm can't meet the egg. The fastest sperm can meet an egg within 45 mins, if you are ovulating when you have sex and that sperm so happens to make its way to the egg and fertilize it before you take the pill then the pill won't work."
Olivia began to answer the doctor's questions with more detail, taking over from Abby and when it was time for the sonogram, the doctor left the room with the assistant nurse to get more supplies, leaving Olivia on the chair, nervously waiting for her to come back.
"You are so nervous right now, don't try to hide it," Abby teased.
"Abby stop," Olivia said.
The doctor came back and began preparing for the sonogram. She spread the gel over Olivia's stomach and began rubbing the transducer probe to get images on the display.
Olivia watched the screen but couldn't really make sense of what she was seeing.
The doctor chuckled.
"What?" Olivia asked nervously.
"Do you see these two dots here?"
The second Abby heard two she knew exactly what it meant, Olivia however, was unusually slow to understand.
"Yeah" Olivia responded.
"Twins."
"I'm sorry - what?" Olivia asked stunned, hoping she misheard.
"Twins definitely monozygotic."
"Monozygotic?"Abby asked.
"Identical," Dr. Williams replied.
"How do you know they are identical?" Olivia asked.
The doctor pointed to the screen.
"You see there? They share the same placenta."
"Do you know the gender?" Abby asked the doctor.
"No, it's too soon."
Olivia felt stinging in her eyes and blinked rapidly to wipe them away. "Are they healthy? Are they okay?" she asked.
The doctor smiled, "there's nothing wrong that I can see," she said. "We're gonna take some blood from you to run a few tests to get a better picture of what's going on inside you but so far, there's nothing to be worried about."
Olivia nodded and wiped her eyes. "God, this is fucking terrifying."
The doctor sat the probe on the machine and took Olivia's hand in hers. "It is especially when you are expecting one and you find out there are two. You have options but I'm sensing that you are leaning toward keeping the pregnancy…"
Olivia shook her head and wiped her eyes again, "I don't know."
"If you are going to make decisions, you'll need to make them as soon as you can. That doesn't mean it has to be tomorrow but the longer you wait, the harder it will be both physically and emotionally if you decide to terminate."
Within a few minutes, they were ready to go before they left Dr. Williams stopped them.
"Here is a prescription for some prenatal vitamins."
Olivia took the prescription.
"In case you decide to continue your pregnancy."
Doctor Williams stretched out her hand with the piece of paper and Olivia took it. The doctor left and Olivia pulled down her sweater and stood from the table. The assistant nurse returned and took a vial of blood from her arm.
"If I'm going to have the abortion I should do it now right?" she asked the medical assistant
"I mean yeah…if you're sure," she answered.
"I'm going to do it."
"Are you sure?" Abby asked.
"I'm going to do it."
Olivia if you aren't sure don't do it, you'll regret it and you don't want that feeling."
"How do you know I'll regret it?" Olivia snapped, "there's two of them Abby. Two."
"You still have time to think about it are you sure you want to do this now, maybe you should take some time to process it."
"I just want to go to the clinic and get this over with."
"Alright," Abby relented. "It's your choice."
They googled the location of the clinic and headed straight there.
Once they filled out all the paperwork, they sat quietly waiting to be called.
Abby tried to read some of the pamphlets while Olivia stared aimlessly. She had half a mind to drag Olivia from the clinic because she clearly didn't want to get one and after seeing the state she's been in for the past week, she didn't think she was thinking clearly or rationally."
Finally, the doctor came in and called Olivia.
Olivia got up and walked into the examination room behind the doctor. Abby walked in behind her.
The doctor began questioning her and checking her vitals and ultrasound to confirm how far along she was. Olivia shook the entire time and refused to look at the ultrasound. It didn't go unnoticed by the doctor.
She advised it was best for Olivia to take the pill but before she proceeded so decided to speak to her.
"I have to ask you this before we proceed. Are you certain that this is what you want? Once I give you the first pill and we start the process you can't turn back."
Olivia couldn't answer.
"You're not the first woman to be scared or upset about having an abortion but there's a difference between being scared and upset and sure in your decision versus being scared and upset and pushing yourself into something you know you don't want to do. If you can't tell me you're sure or that this is right or even tolerable for you then I can't give you that pill."
Olivia still couldn't give her answer.
"You don't want this and that's okay. Go home and if you get there and decide that you were out of your mind and need to come back here then do that but if not then that's okay as well."
Olivia nodded.
Abby felt physically pained watching Olivia in her state and felt tears come to her eyes. She quickly blinked them away and took a breath, trying her best to keep her feelings inside to not add any more distress to Olivia.
When they stepped outside of the office Abby couldn't hold back and grabbed Olivia and hugged her and cried. "I can't fucking see you like this."
Olivia broke into sobs and hugged Abby back. "I can't believe I almost did that."
"It's okay," Abby said.
"I couldn't, they're my babies."
You're gonna be okay. If he doesn't help you then we'll take care of them together. You won't be alone, I swear."
Olivia nodded and wiped her eyes. Abby dried hers as well.
"Fuck, I can't believe you have me on the sidewalk crying, I wouldn't even do that for my actual sister," joked.
Olivia wiped more tears that fell but couldn't bring herself to smile.
They stopped at Gettysburgers for lunch and a pharmacy for the prescription prenatal then went home.
They ate on the couch in silence and after Olivia was finished Abby asked the question that had burned at her for days.
"What did he do to you? What happened?"
Olivia was silent. Abby waited for an answer and just when she began to accept that there would be none Olivia began.
"He came over in the night. I knew something was wrong because he would hug me or kiss me when he saw me but he just stared at me. I tried to hug him and he told me not to touch him. He told me that our relationship was over and that I would never see him again. He called me a liar and a manipulative cunt. Told me I disgusted him and that he regretted ever being with me or letting me near his daughter and I should stay away from him and keep my mouth shut about the affair." Olivia blinked back tears as she finished recalling the night.
"Why?"
"I knew something had happened but I didn't tell him. Something important. I wish I could tell you but I can't."
"Does he know you're pregnant?"
"No. I planned to tell him but I didn't. I couldn't…not when he started to say those things." Olivia sniffled.
"Do you think he'd help with them or want them?"
"I don't know," Olivia said tearfully, "I feel like my entire life blew up. Everything I thought I knew about him or what he thought about me…I don't know if it was true. He told me he loved me and that he wanted to be with me more than anything and that we'd have children together and that if I ever ended up pregnant I shouldn't be scared because he'd take care of me and I believed him. Now…" Olivia said, choking on her words, "I don't think it was true." She began sobbing, "I feel so fucking broken. I've never felt pain like this and I don't know what to do to make it stop. Every time I replay it in my head I feel like I can't breathe."
Abby grabbed her and hugged her. She didn't feel the need to say anything to try to comfort her because she didn't imagine there was anything could say that would.
Olivia fell asleep on the couch after crying herself into a stupor. Abby slipped quietly from the couch and ran to the store to buy a chart and markers and some other supplies.
When she came back to the apartment she set up the chart and began jotting down ideas so that when Olivia woke up they could have a progressive discussion about the next steps to take. Olivia was asleep for a few hours giving Abby time to clearly illustrate her ideas but after some time got tired of waiting for her to get up so she decided to wake her.
"Liv, we have some things we need to discuss," she said as she tugged her arm to wake her.
After a few seconds, she was up."What's going on," she asked, disoriented. Her eyes were still puffy and swollen.
"We have things to discuss."
"Is that a chart?" Olivia asked.
"Yes. First thing's first, are you going to tell him?"
Olivia sighed. "I want to."
"But?"
"It's not simple," Olivia said.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, I don't know how we'll react so I just need time to prepare for it but I want to tell him. This isn't what I planned so I'm trying to figure it out as I go."
"He's already ripped your fucking heart out Olivia. I think you should tell him now so that if he reacts badly, you can deal with it now and not drag it out."
"Abby it's not that easy-"
"Why not," Abby pushed.
"What if he tries to take them? The worst thing is not that he doesn't want them Abby because at this point that's what I expect. If he decides that he's going to take them- I'm not prepared for that. He just got full custody of his daughter. What if he does that to me?"
"I'm not gonna force you. It's for you to decide."
She sighed, "I want to and I know I will but I need time to prepare."
Abby shook her head, "you should've never trusted him. He's a fucking republican."
Olivia shook her head but didn't respond.
"That brings us to the chart, we are going to have two options, one for if he decides to be in their lives and one if he doesn't. Make me a promise that you will try to tell him in the next couple of months if you decide to tell him at all."
"I can't promise that I'll get to him. He blocked all contact with me."
"Wow, what you did made him that mad?"
"I knew about something that was wrong and didn't tell him."
"And this is his reaction?" Abby asked, bewildered.
Olivia nodded. "After everything he did and said I'm still stupid enough to hope he'll come around."
"Fuck. You really love him. That bastard."
Abby was grateful Olivia was being as honest as she was.
"Okay so let's focus on what to do if he doesn't want to be in their lives. You'd obviously have to get a bigger apartment, maybe even a house and I would move in with you. I could help you take care of them because it's going to be hard for the first few months when all they do is cry and poop. There is no way you're going to be able to stay up with both of them and properly function at the firm."
"Abby, I really appreciate everything you've done to help me but that's a lot of responsibility to put on yourself, I'm not going to allow you to do that."
Abby rolled her eyes. "Liv, you are more than family. As I said, I wouldn't even do this for my actual sister, that's how close you are to me, when I needed you, you were there for me more than anyone else so now I'm here for you, plus I'm going to be their godmother and I plan to step up."
"Okay," Olivia finally smiled.
"You will also need a nanny for when you get off maternity leave. You will need a car because we can't keep using the car service from the firm. You will need a cover story once people find out you're pregnant if he doesn't want to be in their lives, we could say you used a donor or something. You will need two of everything, which is going to be expensive if he doesn't want to be in their lives, at least let him help financially."
"If he doesn't want anything to do with them then I don't want anything from him."
"Olivia he's a billionaire, that's an entirely different lifestyle for your kids."
"Abby, I can give them a good life. It doesn't want to be in their lives then I don't want him throwing money at them."
"Alright, I hear you. That's fair."
Abby went on and on for almost 2 hours, delving deeper and deeper into her very detailed plan for Olivia.
Mellie was out of the White House when Cyrus returned from vacation. The press covered the divorce wall to wall but Fitz was adamant about not giving them any ammunition to keep the story alive. Karen seemed to understand just about as much as any other 8-year-old would about the divorce. She was thriving in school with countless friends and extracurriculars to keep her busy. She threw slumber parties every other week at the white house and when she wasn't hosting friends in the residence she had gone to one herself with her squad of guards. She played tennis after school and soccer on the weekends. Fitz tried to attend as many soccer practices as he could because it meant so much to her to see him there. He would stand at the side of the soccer field in his dad hat and sunglasses cheering Karen as she ran. Her long legs carried her up and down the field quicker than the other kids. She was taller than the other girls and some of the boys that played on the boy's team. Fitz swore she got her height from him and as for her athleticism, he'd had her playing sports since she was 3. Whenever she finished practice he was able to attend, he would stop by AJ's diner and have whatever Karen wanted. It had become their routine because spectators began waiting outside the diner on Saturdays to see Fitz. The secret service objected to the predictability of his schedule but Fitz insisted.
In the weeks after Mellie left, after he'd settled the fallout from the election rigging, Fitz found comfort in spending extra time with Karen. She was funny and sassy and managed to keep his mind off of everything else. When she came home from school or from tennis lessons after school she would come straight to the Oval Office for Fitz to help her with homework even though she could do it all on her own most times. They ate dinner together whenever they could, if not Karen would eat with the nanny or one of the staffers, she had no shortage of people fawning over her.
As more time passed, it became harder and harder to distract himself from his lingering thoughts on Olivia. He'd gone too far and he knew it but ending it gently would only encourage him to go back. It had been weeks and he still thought about the look on her face as he said the words he did to her. The crack in her voice as she begged him for forgiveness. He wondered if he was too harsh or if he'd overreacted but every time the doubt crept in he hardened his resolve and pressed forward, eager to put her behind him for good.
"Abby, It doesn't matter if they are girls or boys. I'll love them regardless."
Abby rolled her eyes."That's what you're supposed to say. You're their mom."
Olivia shook her head and rubbed her belly. She handed Abby a glass of wine and sat on the sofa with her cranberry juice in hand.
At over 3 and a half months, she was finally getting over the vomiting. She was still nauseous and cramping occasionally while her stomach grew at a much faster rate than she expected. She wouldn't be able to hide it for another week, she'd been wearing sweaters and oversized blazers and even then, it was obvious.
Since she wasn't able to hide it anymore, she planned to sit with Stephen, Huck, and Harrison and tell them about the pregnancy in the morning.
They sat watching t.v. for a while before Abby brought up what was on her mind.
"Liv, when are you going to try calling him? You said he gave you the phone, you finally stop bursting into tears every time you think about what happened and I'm scared you're gonna wait too long, and based on his reaction you'll go right back to square one after everything you've done to get yourself better. You're almost 4 months. Don't drag it out."
Olivia nodded, "you're right. You know what, I'm just gonna fucking hold my breath, blurt it out and hang up."
"At least he'll know and if he calls back then you'll know he wants to be involved."
"Or he wants to tell me more about how much he hates me."
"Then you can hang up."
Olivia nodded and walked to her bedroom and took the phone he'd given her from her nightstand. When she opened it, it had half a battery's charge and she brought it back to the living room with Abby. When Abby saw her return she muted the tv.
Olivia sat and took a breath.
"Just give me a minute," she said as she tried to build the courage to make the call.
Once again she began to replay his words in her head and the dread she felt about hearing them again sent her into a panic. Abby waited for Olivia to make the call but she sat with the phone gripped tightly in her palm.
"Olivia, just get it over with."
"I can't face him," she mumbled. "I just fucking can't hear him say those things to me again. I can't take it and if he starts-"
Abby interjected, "-just say it and hang up. Don't give him a chance to start."
"Fuck," she mumbled with a sigh as she wiped her eyes. "Okay." She opened the phone and searched for the pre-programmed number. She dialed it and put the phone on speaker. It began to ring and she closed her eyes as she waited to hear his voice. It rang and rang and rang until the call ended.
Somehow she felt relieved.
"No contact Abby, I told you."
The next morning at the firm, Olivia gathered the team in the conference room.
"I'm pregnant," she announced.
Harrison and Stephen both looked at each other and laughed.
"Uhm what's so funny?" she asked.
"It's funny that you think we didn't know."
"Abby told you."
"Don't look at me, I kept my mouth shut," Abby responded.
"Liv, we're not idiots. You've either had a small turkey in your belly or a small human."
Olivia's mouth fell open, she believed her pregnancy was obvious but she was somehow still surprised they knew.
"You stopped wearing heels, we know how much you love those," Harrison teased.
Olivia shrugged."So why didn't you tell me you knew."
"It was hilarious watching you pretend you weren't, we actually made a bet," Stephen chimed in.
She scoffed."Huck, are you a part of this too?"
Huck tried to hide his smile.
"Assholes, all three of you," she said as she walked off to her office. She found the entire exchange amusing.
"Oh come on, don't be like that," Harrison yelled.
"Get your asses to that senator's office to get those files."
"Yes boss," Harrison called.
She could still hear them laughing as Harrison and Stephen headed to the elevator.
"Bye Liv," she heard them yell from the elevator as it closed.