CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED NINE
"Jane, you've gotta wake up."
Jane rolled over and put her face in Sarah's pillow. Sammy rolled her eyes before shoving Jane hard. Jane yelped and fell off the bed.
"Why do you hate me?" Jane asked from the floor as she stared up at the ceiling.
"It's not even that early," Sammy replied. "And Sarah and I wanna go hang at the river, smoke a couple of fags, and talk about this new guy you've got—you get to meet my new guy."
Jane mumbled something incoherent about staying inside where it was nice and warm. Sammy threw a pillow at her.
"It's ten o'clock; get your lazy arse up! Dan'll be here any minute. He's bringing his friends too. They're kinda good-looking" Sammy added.
"I have a boyfriend, Sam," Jane reminded her.
"So, you can look, but you just can't touch," Sammy said with a mischievous smile on her face. "Now, get up!"
Jane finally forced herself to get up and take a shower. Then she bundled herself up in warm clothes and a jacket of Will's she'd taken off him on the train. She'd "forgotten" to give back to him when they'd gotten to King's Cross. It was just so warm and cosy and soft, and it smelled like the cologne he wore on their dates.
Sammy's boyfriend news had come as kind of a shock to Jane. Sammy didn't have boyfriends; Sammy had guy friends. But Jane guessed that there must've been something really special about Daniel Reyes, because Sammy seemed to really like him. And he was really cool, but it just shocked Jane that Sammy would settle for one guy.
Of course, Sammy had been right; his friends, Jackson and Tyler were nice to look at. They all walked down to the River Test and just kept walking by the river bank, smoking their cigarettes, and laughing about all the shenanigans that they'd gotten into so far this school year.
"Boyfriend's jacket?" Tyler asked when he caught Jane with her nose buried into Will's jacket for the seventh time.
Jane smiled sheepishly.
"Is it that obvious?"
Tyler laughed a bit.
"You just keep smelling it. I know my girlfriend did the same thing. She'd steal my shirts and wear 'em," he said before taking a drag on his cigarette.
"You have a girlfriend?" Jane asked.
"Had," Tyler said. "Her family moved away over the summer. I think she took about five of my shirts with her. Long distance relationships don't really work out too well most times."
Jane frowned at the sad note in his voice.
"I'm sorry," she said.
Tyler shrugged.
"Things happen; life goes on," he said. "We actually tried the whole letters and phone calls thing, but after a while it just made the whole thing harder to deal with. So, we both just kinda decided to move on."
"Must've really sucked," Jane said, trying to sympathise with him.
"Yeah, but it gets easier," he said.
They were walking a bit further behind their friends. Tyler was a bit more like her, not quite as wild but not too much of a bore either. Jane smiled when she saw Sammy jump onto Dan's back for a piggyback ride. She vaguely noted how cute they were together as Dan spun around causing Sammy to laugh and squeal happily. She looked at Tyler who also had a ghost of a smile on his face as he watched the couple.
"Well, hey, maybe you'll see her again. Will—my boyfriend—he likes to tell me that miracles happen every day, so who knows what the future's gonna bring, yeah?"
"He sounds like a good guy, but it'll be a miracle if Jen's still single," Tyler said. "She's gorgeous. She's got these beautiful green eyes, and she—well, here I've got a picture of her actually."
Tyler pulled his wallet out of the back pocket of his jeans and flipped it open to a picture of a pretty red-haired girl. He handed the wallet to Jane, and she traced her finger over the picture.
"She's really pretty," Jane said, handing him back his wallet.
"Yeah, that's Jennifer. She's amazing."
"Good Lord, mate. You're not still on about that girl, are ya?" Jackson called back to them. "It's been months."
Tyler frowned as he put his wallet back into his pocket.
"She's not just some girl," Tyler mumbled.
"I think it's good that you care about someone like that," Jane said.
"Yeah, Jackson just doesn't get it. He thinks I should be over her. Of course, he's shagging a different girl every other week."
Jane laughed.
"Yeah, I have a friend like that. I don't think he quite grasps the concept of relationships that don't involve sex," she said.
"He'll find the right girl one day," Tyler said. "Jackson will too; he just doesn't know it yet," he added a bit louder.
"Don't count on it, mate," Jackson said, and Jane and Tyler laughed.
"No, I believe it'll happen," Jane said. "I mean, just look at Sammy; she's gone and got herself a proper boyfriend," she teased.
"What can I say? He gets me," Sammy said, smiling before planting a big kiss on Dan's cheek.
"I'm just with her because she's hot," Dan teased.
"Oh, shut up," Sammy said, hitting him on the shoulder and jumping off his back. "Sarah, the goods please," she said, holding out her hand.
Sarah pulled a bag of weed out of her purse and gave it to Sammy.
"Well, now we have a party," Jackson said.
So, the group sat around, lighting up and talking about the various things that they wished they could change about their lives, which between six teenagers is a lot of things. Of course, Jane ended up talking about her dad.
"I'm hoping, you know, that this Christmas'll be different. I mean, I kinda got him to talk to me on the drive back from London yesterday," she said.
"Yeah? That's good," Sarah said.
"Yeah, I was telling him that for Christmas I was gonna try and cook, and we can just sit down and have a nice family dinner for once. Have and actual conversation, you know?"
Sammy and Sarah exchanged nervous glances. They had been listening to Jane's plans to get her father's attention for a while now. And every time, they seemed to fall through.
"Just don't get too excited. I mean, you know how he is," Sarah said.
"Well, no, I've thought it through," Jane said. "He's not gonna be working on Christmas; he's got nowhere else to be but home. It's a great time to try and get him to talk to me."
"Sometimes it's just better if they ignore you," Jackson said. "I know I'd do a lot better if my old man forgot I existed sometimes."
Jane and Jackson actually had more in common than she had initially expected. His mother had died when he was a kid, and he had his own apparent father issues. Jane would soon come to realise the extent of those issues.
They'd stayed at the river for hours before getting hungry and cold and bored. While Sarah and Jane's houses were the closest, they all ended up going to Jackson's instead because he'd just recently gotten the video game PONG that most of them hadn't gotten an actual chance to play yet. They sat and played and munched on snacks, hanging out and having a great time coming down from their high.
It was fun, until Mr. Hollander got home. He was obviously tired from a hard day at work, and he immediately took it out on Jackson. And the thing about Jackson's dad was he was a very angry man.
"What the hell is all this?"
"Dad, you're not supposed to get home for another hour," Jackson said, immediately changing his whole demeanour and starting to gather up empty snack wrappers and trash.
"So, you just decide to throw a party? Is that it?"
"It's just a few friends is all."
There was something about Jackson's dad that scared all of them. Jane couldn't figure out what it was; he was just…intimidating.
"So, you just think you'll invite all your friends to eat all our food and make a mess of the house?" Mr. Hollander asked, walking closer to Jackson, who Jane could tell was fighting an urge to back away.
"I was gonna have it cleaned up by the time you got home," Jackson said.
"Oh, you were?" his dad asked in a scathing way.
Jane's heart was pounding in her chest. She didn't know what was gonna happen, but she felt like it was a build up before an explosion. She stepped forward to quickly grab Will's jacket from the arm of the couch before Dan pulled her back to where the rest of them were now gathered, watching the scene unfold.
"Well? I'm home," Jackson's father stated. "Why's it not cleaned up yet?"
Jackson mumbled something as he continued to pick stuff up. Jane flinched when Mr. Hollander struck him on the side of his head.
"How about you get your head out of your arse and talk where I can understand you, huh?"
Jackson was obviously avoiding eye contact with his father. The whole smug, too-cool-for-anyone look that he'd been wearing all day was completely gone.
"I-I wasn't expecting you home so soon. I'll clean it up; I promise," he stammered.
Jackson's father suddenly shrugged as though he didn't really care at all, but Jane could still definitely feel the tension.
"No, don't worry about it," he said in a seemingly calm voice all of a sudden.
Jackson looked at his father warily, taking a few steps back as his father walked closer to the coffee table where Jackson had been cleaning off trash.
"In fact," he said, picking up the glass astray from the table, "why don't we just mess it up some more, huh?"
His voice was loud now, and he hurled the astray right at Jackson's head. Jackson dropped the things in his hands and ducked. Jane gasped and jumped as the astray smashed against the wall. Jackson still had his arms protecting his head when his father grabbed him up by the back of his neck.
Jane stood there mortified, unable to move until Tyler pulled her out the door saying:
"We need to leave, now."
The friends bolted out the door. Jane allowed herself to be dragged out because she didn't want to leave Jackson alone with his father, but she also didn't know how to help him. She couldn't stop shaking; she'd never witnessed something like that before. She didn't even notice she was crying until she spoke.
"Is he gonna be okay?" she asked.
Dan ran his fingers through his hair anxiously, looking back at the house, debating on whether or not to go running back in.
"Sh-should we call the cops?" Jane asked.
"Fucking cops," Tyler said. "They're not gonna do a damn thing."
"And it's not like they'd listen kids like us anyway," Sammy said as Dan pulled her closer to him.
A few seconds later, Jackson came running out of his house with his father shouting something from the doorway.
"Are you all right?" Jane asked.
"I'm fine. Let's just get out of here, all right?" he said, wiping his bloodied lip on the sleeve of his shirt.
Later that night, as Jane lay beside Sarah, she just couldn't go to sleep. She rolled over to her stomach and peered over the side of the bed to where Jackson was laying on the floor, as they'd all just crashed in Sarah's room that night.
"You still up?"
Jane almost jumped; she hadn't expected him to be awake.
"Yeah," she answered.
Jackson was quiet for a second before talking again.
"Sorry about my dad today."
Jane propped herself up on her elbows and started picking at her fingernails.
"He didn't do anything to me," she said.
"Yeah, but he sure can scare the hell outta someone, can't he?" Jackson said, laughing in a bitter way.
"Has he always been like that?"
Jackson put his arms behind his head.
"Nah, he's okay sometimes. I mean, he's still my dad, we still have good times every now and then. Ever since my mum died, he's just had his bad days," Jackson explained. "Losing someone like that really messes people up sometimes I guess."
"Yeah, I suppose your dad makes my dad seem normal," Jane said, feeling silly for complaining about her father earlier.
"Oh yeah, your mum's the one that died last year, right?" Jackson asked, and Jane was happy he said "died" rather than "offed herself" as she'd heard a lot of people say.
"Yeah," she admitted, "but the worst my dad does is ignore me."
Jackson looked up at her.
"So, he just, like, never talks to you?"
"Well, no, I mean, we talk a little bit sometimes," she lied.
"Man, that's sad," Jackson said, seeming to know she was lying. "I mean, even my old man has his good days."
"I just, I don't think he knows what to say to me."
"That's not an excuse. I mean, all you gotta do is ask someone how their day was and boom: instant conversation," Jackson said.
Jane shrugged.
"Yeah, I know. I think he just really doesn't wanna deal with me. Sometimes, I think he's glad I go to a boarding school. It keeps me out of his hair."
"You know how to get his attention?" Jackson asked in a lighter tone. "Bring a guy home. It's like instant father instincts kick in, especially if he catches you in bed together."
Jane laughed.
"No, I'm serious. Do you know how many angry dads have chased me out of their houses?" he said.
"Probably one too many," Jane guessed.
"But hey, anytime you wanna get your dad's attention, I wouldn't be opposed to helping you out," he said suggestively.
Jane rolled her eyes and threw her pillow at his face.
"I think I'll just stick to my Christmas dinner plan," she said.
Jackson laughed and threw the pillow back at her.
"Suit yourself. If you change your mind, you know where to find me."