Tales of the Island Symphony

by Light Onthemayo

With Cunimincus and his demonic crew gone, the search is on again for Irleen's home. The following stories have NOTHING to do with that search. This is a series featuring the crew of the Island Symphony at their looniest (mostly), detailing events that may or may not have happened during and after Sky Lines.

6. The Obligatory High School Hero AU

NOTICE: The following section is not canon. This has absolutely nothing to do Sky Lines. Hell, it's barely consistent with itself.

…

Tale #6: "The Obligatory, Idiotic, High School Transforming Hero Alternate Universe with Very Loose Adherence to Reality and a Stupidly Long Title"

Dear readers. Please take note that the following is a typical day in the life of a young man who, through a series of trials, temptations from the enemy's beautiful yet dangerous minion, dealings with a flirty goddess, and a convoluted and completely stupid backstory involving his father's war buddy and something called the "Great Deku Stick of Everlasting Courage", became a nameless hero loved by the public. That hero's name… is Captain Knight. However, most people know him as Link Moriyuki.

His day started when he woke up to the sound of his alarm clock. A hand reached out from under his comforter and slapped the clock into silence.

"Ha-HAH!"

In the next moment, the foot of the bed was thrown into the wall hard. BANG! BAM! Link, clad in a pair of Triforce-print boxer shorts halfway down his buttocks, bounced off the wall with the comforter and landed head-first back on the bed. This left his body propped upside-down against the wall as he stared, wide-eyed, at the triumphant form of Alfonzo Moriyuki standing at the foot of the bed.

Link quickly flipped over to sit cross-legged on the bed while he shouted, "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!? THAT'S DANGEROUS!"

"BWA-HA-HA-HA!" Mr. Moriyuki boomed, crossing his arms. "Danger is around every corner, Son! You must learn to anticipate the enemy at every opportunity! You must even expect them in your sleep!" He held up a clenched fist and turned away from Link as he added, "My war buddy and your mentor always told us that, rest his soul."

Link gave his father a flat look as he said, "North's still alive, Dad."

"Doubt not your father, Son!" Mr. Moriyuki shouted, pointing a finger at Link. "Now come! Your little sister is preparing breakfast!"

Wah-PING! The alarm clock was demolished instantly upon impacting Mr. Moriyuki's face. "Just get out!" Link yelled.

"That's my boy!" Alfonzo said while pulling a spring out of his left nostril. He left through the door, slamming it hard to close it behind him.

Link sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I liked him better in the other story…" Then he noticed something warm on his hand and took it away from his face to look at it. "Ugh. Dammit…"

Link took a quick shower and got dressed into his hunter-green school uniform. He had to affix a bandage to his nose to cover the cut he had received from his father's shenanigans. Then he stepped downstairs and rounded into the kitchen. Breakfast was already laid out on the table, and his twin sister Irleen was already seated. Well, for as well as she could be seated, being cursed to flutter about as a little, green fairy. It made Link wonder how she had been able to make breakfast.

"Good morning, Oniichan," she greeted him. Then her tone changed from sweet to annoyed as she told him, "Oh, you're not going to school with that bandage on your nose, are you? Our classmates already think you're a delinquent."

"I can't help it," Link whined as he dropped into a chair. "Dad busted my nose open when he—"

"Ha-HAH!"

Link did not even need his father's idiot cry of attack to know that the man was standing behind him; Link had seen Irleen shift to indicate that she was looking at something else. He immediately leaned to one side and felt a strong breeze as the hot frying pan sailed by within inches of his head. Link then used his momentum to slide out of the chair. His right hand, before he stood up, grabbed the front leg of the chair. He rose to his full height and swung the chair. The chair broke apart across Mr. Moriyuki's head, sending the man sprawling to the floor with a magnificent thud. Irleen quickly rose from her chair, ready to run if the violence became any worse.

"Are you kidding!?" Link snapped while his father carefully pulled a broken leg strut out of his ear. "You're gonna kill me!"

"CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" Mr. Moriyuki declared as he jumped back to his feet. He raised his hand, broken wood poised as if to stab Link.

So Link brought his foot up and landed the front of his ankle squarely between his father's legs. Mr. Moriyuki froze while the pain traveled straight up his spine. Then he dropped the wood and fell backwards with an undignified squeak.

"Whatever," Link uttered as he grabbed a slice of toast from the table. "I'm taking off, Irleen." Link reached over the back of the couch to grab his school bag. Then he disappeared around the corner to the entryway.

"What a brave boy going out into the world," Mr. Moriyuki said as he stood. He braced himself on the nearby countertop. "His mother would be so proud, rest her soul."

"Mom's not dead, Dad," Irleen replied, now finding herself annoyed with her father. "She just works late."

Link had slipped into a pair of sneakers and stepped outside into the early morning air. The dawn was still in progress with no sign of the sun beyond the nearby houses. Link left the confines of the wall surrounding the house and started down the road, finishing his slice of toast before the first intersection. This early in the morning, the only ones around to harass him were the drunks from last night.

"Linkun!"

Aaaaaand her. Link stopped in place and let his head droop forward at the sound of her voice.

Then he turned around to look. Zelda Chiehime. Who wasn't even human in the first place, never mind his classmate. Yet she still wore the white blouse adorned with lime-green sleeves and collar and the hunter-green pleated skirt of his school's girls' uniform. He had to admit that the dark stockings pulled up to her mid-thigh just so only a band of skin was visible between them and her skirt, while not part of the uniform rules, was quite appealing. Her voluminous, blond hair framed a bright and beautiful face. The only oddity was the sapphire-bearing silver tiara carefully sitting on her hair.

"Good morning," she said with the dignity of the goddess he knew her to be.

"Chiehime-san," Link replied with annoyance prevalent in his voice. He sighed and added, "You know that name is fake. How come you haven't changed it yet?"

"A name is a name," Zelda replied as she moved to walk past him. "How could one so easily change it?"

Link remained silent as he recalled all her transgressions. Then he fell into step behind her and said, "You put yourself into my school as a transfer student without the necessary forms, you wear a tiara that no one bothers to question you about, you took over the class representative's job without his objection, you browbeat the student council president out of her position and she thanked you for it, and you made our homeroom teacher rearrange the seats so that I now sit by the windows with you right next to me. You're telling me you can't simply will your name to be something else?"

"Linkun, you really know how to flatter a girl," Zelda replied with a subtle laugh in her voice. "I have no knowledge of how all these very fortunate events have taken place. For the sake of argument, should I find that I have it within my power to change my name, what would sound less fake?"

Link, in the middle of picking his nose with his pinky finger, pulled the finger out to examine it. "Hanakuso?" he suggested.

"Linkun, I have yet to understand why you are so inappropriate with me," she replied, looking over her shoulder at him.

"Well, let's see," Link said. "You gave me the power to fight evil, and now you've completely forced yourself into my life. I agreed to do the first. Why are you even here on Earth?"

"Oh, Linkun, where else should I be while watching my champion fighting for justice?"

"Far away."

Zelda giggled aloud. "Oh, Linkun, you can be so humorous at times."

"I was being serious."

"Therein lies the humor."

That was about all of the acknowledgement he could expect from her. He did not have any proof whether she was faking her ignorance (and getting a laugh out of his reactions) or honestly did not see his objections were sound and concerning (and getting a laugh out of his efforts)… or she was using the girl in front of him as an avatar who seemed to live a life of blissful unawareness of the universe almost literally bending to her will (and getting a laugh out of his depleting sanity). Somehow, she preferred this façade to actually speaking to him about serious matters and issues he had with his powers. He even once tried calling her out in the middle of class. The debacle got him in an interview with the principle and lost him his spot in the kendo club. The next day, when no one had seemed to confront him about it, he had tried talking to everyone that had witnessed it. His classmates, the period teacher, and even the kendo club had thought he was mistaken because he would never have done something so ludicrous. The kendo club, as far as they were concerned, had not been given a reason to dismiss him. That was how the goddess who had given Captain Knight his powers operated: however the hell she wanted.

So he followed her to school feeling evermore like a dog on a leash. They departed at the shoeboxes in the school entryway. Link switched his shoes and went immediately to his classroom on the second floor. Having left so early to get away from his father meant that there was no one in the room. So he sat down at his desk, hooked his bag onto the side, propped his feet up, and let himself drift off into a much-desired nap. It would be some time before the next person came in.

"Bzzz bzzz. There's a fly on yer face!"

Link immediately opened his eyes to a hand flying toward his face. He quickly reached up to stop the hand.

But then the hand stopped still about a foot away from slapping him. He followed the arm to see Meilont Kimura standing next to him. She smiled, but her emerald eyes told him of her wicked, teasing intentions. Upon receiving an annoyed look, she giggled and slung her long, red braid off her shoulder.

"Whud I do to deserve that?" Link asked.

"Oh, Linkun, yeh're so serious it's jus' funny," she said. "I jus' wanted ta thank yeh fer cleanin' the clubroom yesterday."

"I told you it wasn't a problem," Link replied. He looked up at the ceiling. "Is that all you wanted to say?"

"No, actually, it wasn'," she said, crossing her arms. "I saw yeh walk in with Chiehime-san."

Link sighed. "Two weeks, and you just now happen to catch us?"

Meilont's smile faded into mild shock. "T-two weeks?"

"Look, before you go any further," Link said, giving her a sidelong look, "there's nothing going on between us. I can't stand her, and she doesn't like me in that way."

"Hah," she commented as her humored expression returned. "I though' yeh looked like a dog on a leash."

"Trust me. If you knew what the connection between us was, you'd laugh your ass off."

"Bu' yeh won' tell me, will yeh?"

Link closed his eyes. "Wasn't planning on it."

"Well, as long as it doesn' interfere with our time."

Link opened his eyes again and turned his head to look at her. "Our-our time?"

"The kendo club, Linkun," she said in a mixture of annoyance and humor. "Wow, I can' believe yeh took tha' the wrong way."

"It's not my fault!" Link declared. "I was jus—… I-I—"

"Linkun!" she told him in a loud tone. Link clapped his jaw shut. "I'm jus' teasin' yeh."

"Of… course you are," Link said, slapping a hand over his face.

"I'm yer childhood friend," Meilont continued. "I wanna be a li'l jealous o' any girl tha' walks ta school with yeh."

Link opened a pair of fingers so he could peer at her. "Still teasing?" he asked.

"A li'l."

Link groaned. "Oh, c'mooooon, Mei-chan…"

"Tha's be'er." She placed two of her fingers to her lips. Then she pressed those fingers against Link's right cheek, prompting an annoyed look. "Wha'?"

"Do you have to do that?"

"Well, this is an alternate universe, an' Light fel' the need ta torture readers with some ship-teasin'…"

["No I don't!"]

"It doesn't mean you have to oblige."

["She's nooooooot."]

"I know, bu' it's fun." She patted his shoulder before turning. "See yeh a' club."

"Just remember: Light's desires are just suggestion!" Link called after her. Then he crossed his arms and closed his eyes again. "Idiot writer…"

["Dipshit protagonist…"]

Link managed a catnap before more of his classmates appeared. The general chatter in the room picked up, so Link busied himself looking through a comic he had smuggled in his bag. He was busy enough that he hadn't realized that someone had walked up beside him after about a couple dozen pages of reading.

When he realized it, he looked up.

WHOOSH!

And the person standing next to him disappeared. Link was surprised by the rush of air and looked around the classroom in an attempt to find the source. Whatever it had been, it had disappeared without a trace.

Except for the lunchbox sitting on his desk. Link almost looked over it until he turned to continue his comic book. Whoever had been standing next to him had left a small box wrapped in a pastel-green cloth on the corner of his desk. He picked it up to examine it, but then he paused and looked around the room again. No one was looking at him, and he did not see any unfamiliar faces. He considered unwrapping it for a moment, but then he decided that he would wait for lunch and stashed the lunchbox in his desk. Maybe his cook would return to claim it then.

What he completely failed to realize was that the gifter, after having worked up the nerve to deliver the lunch she had made especially for him (accounting for all of his tastes based on weeks of covert observation outside his house, the school, and his mom's restaurant), completely chickened out when she realized that he was about to look at her, leapt over his head, performed a back-flip into the window behind him, and carefully pressed the window shut with her fingertips once she was outside. Unfortunately, this had left her suspended in mid-air for about a second before she realized what she had just done, and then she fell on an unfortunate male student that just happened to be minding his own business as he walked by underneath her. Her only saving grace was that the male student's face had been slammed into the concrete walkway, allowing her to disappear without anyone noticing.

Link went back to reading until his best friend, Line Kazegawa, showed up. However, as Line approached his assigned seat in front of Zelda's desk, Link forwent a casual greeting to ask, "What the hell happened to you?"

The front of Line's blazer bore bits of gravel. The left side of his face sported more along with a patch of scraped and bleeding skin high on his cheek. His thick, red hair, originally showing signs of being slicked back, was completely messed up on the left side of his head as well as the back, which had been pushed upward against the direction he had slicked it. He glared at Link for a moment before replying, "I've got five-hundred yen for the person who can tell me."

"Didn't piss some girl off again, did you?" Link asked, failing to keep in an amused grin.

"Bite me," Line replied as he dropped his school bag onto his desk.

Link indicated his cheek. "You know you're bleeding?"

"Am I?" Line felt his cheek. Then he looked at his hand. "Oh, man!"

"That must have been one hell of a slap."

"Dude, this isn't funny," Line snapped at him while he dug into his desk. "Do you know what this does for my looks?"

Link stashed his comic in his desk. "So you can't go the pretty boy route right now. Don't chicks dig scars?"

"Is that why you got that bandage on your nose?"

"No, I got this bandage on my nose because my dad's an ass."

"I got a mark, Link. I can't have a scar now." Link fell silent, and Line had to turn back around to see the confused look on his face. "What?"

"What do you mean you have a 'mark'?"

"You got another one of those bandages?"

"No." Line returned to searching his desk. "Kazegawa, what do you mean you have a 'mark'?"

"Dude," Line snapped. Then he looked around the room. Link glanced around as well, mostly out of confusion. Line then leaned in close to Link and whispered, "I'm going after Zelda-chan."

Link raised an eyebrow. "Chiehime?"

Line gave him a goofy grin. "Zelda-chan."

"Do you even know anything about her?"

Line stood up straight and puffed his chest out. "Height: five-foot-two, favorite color: pink, three measurements: thirty-two twenty-three thirty-four, natural blond, prefers lacy, loves Italian and sweets, lives alone, and now has the likes of Line Kazegawa chasing her."

Link put an elbow on his desk so he could rest one cheek in his hand. "How have you never been arrested before?"

"It's all—" Line clapped his hands together, causing some of their classmates to turn in their direction. He then raised his hands and shook his hips side to side. "—part of the charm."

"It's gonna be stalking and sexual harassment soon…"

Line crossed his arms. "Whatever. Do you have another bandage or not?"

"Just go down to the infirmary, Kazegawa."

"Is everything all right?" Zelda asked as she approached Link and Line.

"Kazegawa fell and landed on his face," Link immediately blurted out.

"He did?" Zelda asked as she passed between the boys so she could see the other side of Line's face. She took in a shocked breath and covered her mouth with a hand. "Oh, dear, Kazegawa-san, you're hurt!"

"Uh-uuuuh, yeah…" Line replied, taking a step back.

"There's blood, too," she continued. "How could this have happened?"

"He tripped," Link said.

"Mo-Moriyuki!" Line cried out.

"Please calm down, Kazegawa-san," Zelda said as she slipped a hand into her school bag. She pulled out a pink, folded handkerchief and offered it to Line. "Here, use this. You should clean that up right away."

"Uh—y-yeah…" Line said as he took the handkerchief, the expression on his face completely stunned.

"You'd better hurry, Kazegawa-san. Class will start soon."

"Oh, right!" Line said before turning and running for the door.

Link turned to Zelda as she sat down. "You caught him, didn't you?" he asked in a tone that did not really ask a question.

"Kazegawa-san was dressed in all black and spying on me from the tree outside my second-story window," she replied. "He had a perfect view of me while I was changing in my room."

"And… you didn't do anything?"

Zelda gave a subdued giggle. "Linkun, I can hardly maintain any sort of modesty or feel sexually harassed when I have had statues and paintings made of me while I was naked. I am a goddess, after all. Besides, I found to be an opportunity."

"How?"

"I spied back."

Link visibly cringed. "Wha-what'd you find out about him?"

"Height: five feet and seven inches, favorite color: crimson, significant measurement: eight-point-three, natural redhead, prefers blue and white stripes, loves Mongolian and kimchi, lives with his parents and three brothers, has an exquisite collection of high-quality pornographic material, is turned on by blondes and may be developing a schoolgirl fetish, and has a very healthy sexual drive."

Link's eyes were wide with bewilderment, which served to take away all signs of just how disgusted he felt at the same time. "Just… just how far did you follow him?"

Zelda appeared to busy herself reading a textbook as she told him, "It was no big matter. I went back in time to when he first developed his singular infatuation with me and monitored him from there until today."

"Y—you what?!" Link shouted, causing some of their classmates to jump in surprise.

"Yes, you were not aware of it?" Zelda asked, smiling as she looked through her textbook. "As a goddess of knowledge, I know how to bend time to my will. It's a really simple matter."

"A… simple matter?" Link asked, one eye twitching in anger while his grin turned into grinding teeth.

"All you have to do is ignore the laws of space-time dynamics and step five paces backwards."

Link sighed and pressed a hand over his face. "So you used time travel to make yourself a bigger pervert than Kazegawa," he said in an exhausted tone.

"I suppose that you might summarize it as such," Zelda replied. She finally turned to show him an innocent smile. "Would you like me to be perverted toward you as well?"

She sparked his anger again, and he started as he pointed a threatening finger at her, "Now listen, you—"

Ding. Ding. Dong. The bells interrupted Link's train of thought, causing him to look around as the class slowly started taking their seats. He glanced back at Zelda to find that she had gone back to reading. So Link sighed out the rest of his frustration and turned to look out the window.

The classroom door slid open a few minutes later, and Line ran for his desk. He threw himself into his seat, startling Zelda when the back of the chair hit her desk.

A few minutes after that, the door slid open again, and Zelda dutifully called out, "Stand!" The class stood up as their homeroom teacher, Leynne Furutori, stepped in. "Bow!"

Leynne stepped to the podium at the front of the class. "Be seated," he told the class in a casual tone as he placed his class register on the podium. "I see that Moriyuki Ihleen-san is still out today. Moriyuki, is youh sisteh's health going to improve soon? Two weeks is a long time to be gone."

"We're trying, Sensei," Link replied. "But we still don't know how long it will be."

"I see." Leynne made a mark on the register and then shifted to a notice he had been holding between his books. "Fihst, due to cihcumstances beyond the control of any of Shiniyoi-sensei's employehs, the chemistry class foh today will be held in the science club's room on the second flooh of the annex building pending repaih of ouh primary chemistry laboratory. Please keep this in mind as you sneak off foh makeout sessions with uppehclassmen befoh and afteh." After that remark, he glanced over at Cale Yomibito, causing the student to slowly sink in his chair. "Second. In spite of Aidorei-sensei's objections, the principal and ouh student council president, Chiehime-san…" He indicated Zelda with a hand, who gave a nod in a dignified thanks for acknowledgement. "… would like the student body to limit themselves to one nude pohtrait of Aidorei-sensei. The principal has asked me to remind you that this is an educational institution, not a pohnographic studio. Aidorei-sensei's encouragement of the contrary is to be expressly ignohed and, foh those of you actually offended by heh activities, repohted to a membeh of the staff immediately. Lastly, the staff and membehs of the student council have noticed a numbeh of strangehs communicating with students from outside the school walls. While we still do not know what caused those holes in the walls to appeah, please refrain from speaking to people outside while school is still in session. Any questions?" Line raised his hand. "Kazegawa?"

"What about all the nudes posted on the bulletin board downstairs?" Line asked.

"The council will be seeking volunteehs to remove them Friday evening," Leynne replied.

"I'd like to do it," Line said.

"The council has already asked that you, Line Kazegawa, be as fah away from the activity as humanly possible. Preferably blindfolded, bound, and gagged as well. Foh humanitarian reasons, the student council has been told that the following items have been banned from use in effohts to keep you out of the way: baseball bats, planks of wood, knives, swohds, axes, speahs, handguns, assault rifles, hunting rifles, fully-automatic weaponry, ahmed vehicles, battlefield ahtillary, tanks, explosives, bombs, missiles, and any fohm of civilian or military aihcraft except foh the American A-10 Thundehbolt Two."

Most of the class gave Leynne a confused look. "Why not an A-10, Sensei?" Line asked.

"The female half of the student council felt being cut to shreds by an A-10 would be an appropriate punishment foh the pehson who stole the second yeah gihls' unifohms while they weh pahticipating in P.E. last week. I have been thusly infohmed that the American military will be standing by should the call be necessary." Line slowly turned around to look at Zelda. Zelda's only response was an innocent smile. "Any questions not supplemented by Kazegawa's libido?" Silence responded. "Very well. Chiehime, would you collect everybody's homewohk? The rest of you will turn to page fifty-one so that we might look oveh solutions."

…

The math and history courses went by without any sort of disruption. It was too bad Link's day could not be as smooth.

The science club's room was not really meant to accommodate a class. Sure, it was probably the biggest room in the annex, and it had the appropriate facilities hooked up. But the science room was for sciences in general. Link could find things for chemistry, biology, astronomy, and physics lying around the room. Most of the irrelevant items had been put on the bookshelves or otherwise pushed against the walls so that there was room. The club president's desk, occupying the room directly in front of the windows, had been cleared off so that the teacher could set down an impressive number of glass objects holding a whole rainbow of colored chemicals. And rainbow was right; the teacher had arranged them in a rainbow starting with red from the left.

And yet, even after the bells had rung to signal third period, the teacher was missing. About the only thing the class could do was follow the instructions someone had taped to the clubroom's door as they had entered: split into groups of three. Link and Line had taken a table at the back of the room, and Cale had joined them after everyone else had grouped together.

After about ten minutes, Line rested his arms on their table and propped up his head with one hand. "Well, so far, this is the easiest chemistry class we've ever had," he commented. "Not to mention the least disastrous."

Link turned and rested his back against the table. "At least until Shiniyoi-sensei shows up," he pointed out.

"I heahd from Lilly-chan what happened in yestahday's class," Cale spoke up.

"Didn't know it was possible to have a conversation while making out in the upstairs restrooms," Line said.

Cale's face turned scarlet. "A-anyway!" he said. He coughed to clear his throat of the constriction that caused his voice to rise in pitch. "Shiniyoi-sensei was assisting Bakudan-san with a volatile chemical set. He wahned hah that two of the chemicals would explode if she mixed them without the propah stabilizing components."

"And she mixed them anyway," Link concluded.

"Actually, no," Cale said. "Shiniyoi-sensei did."

Line snorted and pressed his face into his arms to suppress his laughter. Link's response was a hand over his face. "Well, at least he shows us what not to do," he commented. "Not that it really teaches us much…"

Line released a relaxed sigh as he picked his head up again. "Maybe not, but it's damn hilarious," he told Link.

"Kyaaaaah!" A girl's scream caused the class to jump with surprise; someone even dropped a flask on the floor, shattering it. All attention was on the front of the room in search of the source.

What everyone saw was the rather serious-looking form of Sello Shiniyoi-sensei standing behind the front desk. He appeared a little deranged, with his blond hair disheveled and littered with shards of glass. His eyes were baggy, and one cheek looked to have a thick smudge of dirt. His clothing, an orange t-shirt adorned with a black necktie and faded blue jeans, looked wrinkled and slept-in. Over his clothes was a tattered, orange lab coat sporting stains and dirt from years of abuse and explosions.

The class was shocked into silence as Sello's eyes wandered around the room. This was a side they had never seen to their chemistry teacher before. He appeared more like a killer than a teacher. Link began fearing the worst and tugged back on his left sleeve to expose his wrist.

Then Sello picked up a vial filled with an amber-colored liquid. Panic spread across the room as he put the vial to his mouth and up-ended it so that he could drink its contents. The panic became worse when he spontaneously decided to take a bite out of the vial. The vial shattered under his teeth, and even Link, Line, and Cale at the back of the room could hear him chewing the glass.

His neck gave a loud pop as he suddenly turned his attention to Zelda. Link could feel the shiver go up his spine as Zelda locked eyes with him in response. Sello made to start around the desk toward her, causing her to take an uneasy step backwards.

Then one of his legs flew up into the air as a bottle rolled out of hiding behind the desk. Sello managed to register confusion before he fell backwards. Shwump! It had not sounded too hard, but being close to the desk had knocked one of its flasks to the floor with a crash. Hands immediately found mouths as the class tried not to laugh aloud all at once. Line in particular was trying not to fall over. Link breathed a sigh of relief and pinched the bridge of his nose. He could not believe that Sello had managed to maintain a strong, sober demeanor that long. Slipping on a bottle that clearly had held alcohol at one point was just the kind of thing he did in his classroom.

Link, as well as the rest of the student body and even the teaching staff, knew that Sello was an alcoholic. But Link had learned months ago that, while any sane administrator would have fired him for the drinking if not for the chaos it usually caused, the school kept him on for the simple fact that his accidents drew in donations from parents and the surrounding community, usually much more than what the school needed to fix his mess of the week. If it had not been for him destroying three classrooms and blowing up the equipment shed with a runaway rocket (a single runaway rocket with the bounce capabilities of a ping pong ball), the school would not have the annex building. The archery range would still be a section of residential housing if he had not set fire to a paper airplane, let it escape through an open window, and burn down the awning to the bicycle racks. It was a wonder he had not killed anyone yet, especially himself since he was usually at the epicenter of destruction.

"Didn' hurt!" Sello called out with that throaty slur he had achieved after years of drinking. He reached up to the desk and smacked his hand on the surface. This caused two more flasks to fall off the edge and shatter on the floor.

"Sensei, are you all right?" a girl at the front of the class asked.

"I am Swiss!" Sello replied as he hauled his elbows onto the desk, knocking over more glassware.

"Hey," Cale said, tapping on Link's and Line's shoulders. He pointed, and both boys saw that the spilled chemicals on the floor were beginning to bubble with each other.

"Sensei, you're knocking things over," another girl said. Link hissed at Cale and Line and subtly pointed at the floor.

Sello looked over the edge at the chemicals. Then he stood up. "I'z not gunna do anyding," he told the class. He picked up a large flask holding a blue liquid that began snapping as he handled it. "Not widdout dis."

"Uh oh," Cale uttered. Link reached up and grabbed the front of his blazer to pull him to the floor.

"Fire in the hole!" someone screamed as the whole class ducked under their tables.

The next few moments would be described as someone single-handedly starting, fighting, winning, and losing World War III as all hell broke loose in the clubroom. The initial explosion blew out the windows and launched Sello twenty feet free of the classroom and into the only tree between the annex and the main building. This explosion also had the power to shatter the rest of the glassware on the desk. From there, explosions sounded left and right as these chemicals mixed together. Screaming sounded from the room, startling a number of classes in the main building. The P.E. class, having seen Sello flying through the air, stopped to watch fire and smoke spew from the clubroom. Shrapnel from the science club's equipment was sent everywhere, and the students of Link's class decided to bolt. Link was first to the door and yanked it open for Cale and Line to run. Some of his classmates ran despite the number of deadly objects sailing past their heads while others crawled on the floor. One bookshelf caught fire. A glass case holding what must have been more chemicals suddenly blew apart just as Zelda walked casually out of the clubroom as if the class had simply ended. Link rolled his eyes at her nonchalant reaction, double-checked that none of his classmates had been left behind, and slammed the door shut once he was outside. The fire alarm sounded, and the class hustled down the stairs and out the front door as the entire school began evacuating. Link saw that the P.E. class was in the middle of helping Sello out of the tree as they moved to a safe distance away from the annex.

…

Sello had a way with cataclysm, but the students and staff had learned to roll with it by now. That was why school was still in session while the local fire brigade tore the annex apart. Of course, without their clubrooms, the principal announced that all clubs that took place in the annex were canceled until accommodations could be made. The paramedics checked on Link's class, but the only one who had to go to the hospital was Sello. Even then, it was only because he had a serious concussion on top of being completely hammered. By the time the chaos had cooled down, the class had disbanded to join the rest of the school in lunch.

Link had returned to the classroom to retrieve the mystery lunchbox while Line and Cale went to raid the cafeteria. He was one of only a few students that had returned to the room, so he was hoping that he might be able to determine who had left the lunchbox behind. However, only two guys and three girls had decided to eat lunch in the classroom, and none of them seemed interested in confessing to leaving the lunchbox.

The door at the back of the room slid open while Link pondered over the box, and he turned to see if someone had finally come to claim it. "Oh, good, yeh haven' started ye'." Instead, it turned out to be Meilont. She returned with a small lunchbox of her own, wrapped in a red, autumn leaf-patterned cloth. She held it up and asked, "Mind if I join yeh?"

Link shrugged. "Go ahead, I guess."

She stopped next to his desk and crossed her arms. "You guess?" she asked.

"Ah—no, no, it's fine," Link said, quickly shaking his head to clear up his thoughts.

Meilont glanced down at the lunchbox on his desk. "You haven' even opened it ye'," she observed.

"Weeell…" Link said as he looked at the lunchbox again. "I don't know if I want to. I don't know where it came from."

"It isn' yers?"

Link shook his head. "I wanna say someone left it on my desk this morning, but I never found out who. It's like they disappeared before I could see them."

"Sounds like yeh go' a secre' admirer," Meilont said with a grin. She moved the chair in front of Link's desk out of the way so she could push the other desk into Link's.

"Oh, has he?" Link placed a hand over his eyes at the sound of Zelda's voice.

Meilont had to turn around to see Zelda standing next to her desk. "Oh, the studen' council presiden'," she said. "I forgo' yeh're in this class."

"No need to be so formal, Kimura-san," Zelda said as she moved her chair aside. "We are peers, after all. And as peers, would you mind if I joined the two of you for lunch?"

Meilont shrugged as she sat down. "Couldn' hur'," she replied. "Wha' do yeh think, Linkun?"

"Well, I—" Link began.

"Oh, 'Linkun', is it?" Zelda asked. "I thought I was the only one who called you that, Linkun." The idea was laughable to Link, who knew she had started calling him that after observing Meilont do so once before infiltrating the school.

"Funny," Meilont remarked as she unwrapped the cloth around her lunchbox. "Far as I knew, I've been the only one who's ever called 'im tha'."

Link thought he heard something rumble nearby and glanced out the window. That was when he saw a flash of lightning in the middle of bright daylight and a clear sky.

He cringed as he turned back to look at Zelda. "Is this so?" she asked Meilont. "I had rather thought the name to be quite novel." She had a smiling face, but Link was not blind to the fact that she was slowly molding the desktop between her fingers. "I assure you, I had no intention of stealing such an endearing name."

"O' course," Meilont responded. Link heard a snap, and he saw that she had broken her disposable chopsticks in half. "Y'know, Linkun said yeh were tryin' ta recrui' 'im into the studen' council."

"Yes, it was my intention to involve Linkun in our activities," Zelda responded before she turned the desk. "He has been very helpful to me, assisting me in adjusting to life at this new school."

Oh, crap. Ozone. He smelled ozone.

"Linkun's already a member of the kendo club," Meilont said. She gave Zelda a wicked grin. "Unless yeh plan ta steal 'im from me."

More thunder. More ozone. He wished he would be struck.

"Hardly my intention at all, Kimura-san," Zelda replied. "However, as student council president, it is part of my duty to involve the students in activities which contribute to the betterment of our school. If he is willing to forsake his prior commitments to the kendo club to ensure that his fellow students have a more enjoyable and memorable experience, I believe that it is his decision."

Fire. Stampede. Earthquake. Tsunami. Meteor. Super Line. Link prayed for something to happen. He could almost see the sparks flying between Zelda and Meilont. Now would have been a good time for the world to spontaneously end.

"I'm sorry," Meilont replied, "I don' think I heard tha' las' statemen' righ'. It's hard ta tell wha' yeh're sayin' with all those words."

"I see," Zelda said with an understanding nod. "Allow me to be succinct. I intend to make Link part of the council. You will lose him. Fair, Kimura-san?" Link gave Zelda a shocked look.

"So yeh do have an ulterior motive," Meilont replied, the smirk on her face slowly turning nasty. "Bu' yeh'll lose. Linkun's been passiona'e abou' kendo fer years. He ain' gonna give it up jus' 'cause a pre'y blonde bats an eye a' 'im. Righ', Linkun?"

Both girls looked at Link. Or, rather, the empty space where Link had been sitting. Link was already out the door, carefully sliding it closed while holding the lunchbox in his mouth.

"LIIINKUUUN!"

Link abandoned the door and dashed down the hallway to escape. He turned up the stairs just as he heard one of the girls slide the door open, jumping two at a time.

He did not stop at the third floor. He ran as far at the roof and threw the door open. Then he flipped around and slammed it shut. As he backed away, he listened for any sign that one of the girls was following him.

He had the sudden sensation of being watched. He was worried that he had interrupted something taking place. Or worse, Zelda had simply placed herself on the roof just to catch him. So he slowly turned his head to look over his shoulder.

Then he turned completely around upon realizing that neither girl sitting on the roof behind him looked remotely like Zelda. Or Meilont for that matter. Both had ebony skin and bright, red hair. One girl had her hair tied in a pair of long pigtails while the other wore hers in a thick ponytail. The red flash under their collars indicated third-year students, his upperclassmen. He was not sure, but he thought he recognized one of them.

Link cringed and straightened himself out. "Uh… s-sorry," he told them, bending his body in a slight bow. "I-I didn't meant to interrupt you."

The girl with the ponytail ducked her head. The girl with the pigtails saw this and smirked at her. "No trouble," she then told Link with a welcoming smile. "You can join us if you like; you don't appear to have eaten yet."

"I-I don't wanna impose or anything…" Link replied.

The pigtailed girl waved a hand. "No, c'mon, it's all right," she said. "We were just talking about you."

Link only took two steps before her words registered. "You-you what?" he asked. "You were just… just talking about me?"

"You're Link Moriyuki, aren't you? From class 1-A?"

"Y-yeah?"

She pointed to the lunchbox in Link's hand. "Then that must be Layna-chan's lunch."

"This is…" Link trailed off as he glanced at the lunch. Then he examined the girls a little closer. The one talking to him had a lunchbox open on the ground beside her. Her friend, however, only had a small juice bottle next to her. "Oh. I, uh… I-I don't…"

"Layna had gone down to your classroom this morning," the pigtailed girl explained. "She must have left it there on accident."

"Oh, I see," Link replied, although he had to admit that he was confused. He had not seen her in the classroom this morning. He approached them and offered the lunchbox out. "Here you go. Don't worry, I didn't open it."

Layna carefully reached up and accepted the lunchbox without raising her face to look at him. "Th-thank you…" she murmured barely loud enough for Link to hear.

"Well," the other girl said. "We seem to have a problem. Moriyuki-kun doesn't have a lunch to eat now." She grinned devilishly at Layna again. "It seems that you owe him more than just an apology for taking his lunch."

"No, it's all right," Link replied. "I can see if there's anything left in the cafeteria."

"Um…" Layna spoke up just as Link turned away. He paused to see if she would say anything else. "If-if you wish… I-I would l-like to share with you… Mo-Moriyuki-san."

"Uuuuh…" Link droned for a moment. "I—I mean, I wouldn't mind, but that's a pretty small lunch for two people to share. Isn't it? We could both eat it, but we'd both still be hungry later on."

The pigtailed girl nodded her head. "Pretty logical argument, Moriyuki-kun," she said. "You're right; it wouldn't be fair to you if she split her lunch."

Link gave her a strange look. "What part of that statement makes you think I was concerned with myself?"

"Well, I think Layna-chan owes you for being so considerate. Not only has she inconvenienced you with carrying around her lunch, now you won't be able to eat."

"I can just go down to the cafeteria," Link said as he prepared to turn again.

"Ah, let me finish, Moriyuki-kun," she said, raising a hand to stop him. "I would like to propose that you meet us up here again for lunch tomorrow. And, to make up for her behavior, Layna-chan will bring a lunch large enough for you to share." Layna started and looked at her friend in shock, her face turning deep crimson.

"We—I don't wanna be an inconvenience," Link quickly told her.

"If you don't want to be an inconvenience, then you'll be back tomorrow. Otherwise you'll have made Layna-chan carry that large lunch in vain."

Link could only blink for a moment. He had never known someone to be so pushy like this, never mind when putting words in another's mouth. He wondered if it was just a Gelto thing. "O-okay then," he agreed. "I'll… be back tomorrow, I guess."

"You might want to get running to the cafeteria then," the pigtailed girl told him. "Lunch will be ending soon."

"Oh, crap!" Link shouted before turning to run for the door.

…

He did not make it.

In addition to lunch time being shortened due to Sello's chaos, the time he had spent watching Zelda and Meilont fight as well as the time he had spent talking to the two girls on the roof had made him late to the cafeteria. Everyone had already bought their lunch, but the short lunch line only meant he got to the counter just as the bell rang to signal the end of the lunch period. So Link returned to the classroom and simply bore his hunger in silence. Fourth period, the literature class, Link felt that there was no problem, that he might be able to tolerate this until after school.

He was sorely mistaken by fifth period art. It must have been the subject. After two months of having to do nude works of the art teacher herself, she had decided to make them sketch a bowl of wax fruit. Link felt like he had a black hole where his stomach used to be.

Grrrrrrrrrrr.

"Aaaaah. I heah a sound~." Link's head drooped at the playful lilt of Dholit Aidorei-sensei's voice.

Dholit was another teacher that probably should have been fired a long time ago, and, unlike Sello, she really did not have any redeeming qualities that benefitted the school. Her demon was what could loosely be called sexual harassment. However, the way she went about it made it difficult to report her. She liked to parade in the nude around her classroom (until today) under the guise of providing a subject for her students. Granted, most of her poses were benign as far as sexual implication went, but she was always offering herself as a subject and calling it art. Even when she had to step in the hallway. She also liked to get close to her students while they were supposed to be working. Naturally, this had been in conjunction with walking around naked. And it always seemed like the art room was warmer than the rest of the school, frequently causing students to open their collars a little more. So what saved her from getting fired? The girls valued her artistic insight and advice. And, well, every boy in her art class turned into Line… except for Line, who pretty much acted like himself.

Link could sense her standing to his right and glanced over in response. His eyes first wandered down the front of her blouse, buttoned low and collar folded back to show off as much cleavage as possible. So he directed his eyes upward while he prayed to himself that the warmth in his face was just from the surrounding room. She had her red hair tied tight behind her head, and her dark skin glistened with a fresh sheet of perspiration. Her eyes… Link suddenly realized that he could use a cold shower.

"Is everything all right, Moriyuki-chan?" Dholit asked.

Irritation quickly replaced arousal upon hearing her pet name for him. She liked to single him out to the class. This was mostly because they used to be enemies, having dueled about a month ago. He would never forget the harem she tried to entice him with after she had exposed herself as an agent against him. Sometimes he wondered if she was still trying to build a harem. Link glared at her and replied, "No, Aidorei-sensei," he said in a slow, clear voice. "I am doing well."

She glanced at his easel. "Ah, it appeahs to be coming along nicely," she said as she admired his charcoal sketch. "You might not fohget to include the designs on the bowl. Oh was youh intention to impress me. Because I don't mind saying that I am very impressed."

Link winced at the innuendo-laced comment and glanced back at his sketch. It still escaped him how the banana placed erect between two apples could have been taken in such a way until Link realized their phallic arrangement. Annoyed, Link grabbed the sketch and tore it from its spiral bindings. Dholit gave her high-pitched, evil-ish laugh as she watched Link crush the page in his hands. She stood up and moved on to the next student, leaving Link a clear shot at the recycle bin next to the door. He turned back to the bowl to get another start, but now that she had put the idea in his head, he found it hard to begin again.

He was then distracted by a small wad of paper skipping off his shoulder. He turned around to see Line point two fingers at his own eyes before then indicating Link with a finger. Link picked up a piece of charcoal and flung it at him. Line was taken aback and, in the middle of juggling the charcoal, leaned backward too far and fell. The thud caused the rest of the class to turn toward him.

Including Dholit. "Oh, Kazegawa-chan!" she called out as she rushed to his side. She then threw her arms around his head just as he was standing and held him tight to her chest. "Ah you all right? Can I get you anything?"

"UhnoI'mfinethankyou," Line replied in a cracking voice.

Whum-whump! Whump! Whump! Whu-whu-whump! Whump! Whu-whum-whump! Link pressed a hand over his face after watching the rest of the boys in his class suddenly fall off their stools.

…

Link felt a little stupid being the only guy in the class during history. It only got a little less awkward once Cale returned for the language class. During the period in between language and physical education, Link went down to the infirmary to find that half of the entire first-year class (meaning all the boys) had crowded outside the infirmary. The sound of Dholit giggling somewhere on the other side of the pack told him all he wanted to know, and he went to P.E. alone.

Five minutes later…

"What the hell is this?"

Link and Cale stood in their gym uniforms as the only two boys from 1-A to show up. Gilliam Kishidou looked between the two groups as if he was trying to wrap his head around the fact that 1-A now only had two boys while still having its regular number of girls.

"Girls, go ahead and do some stretching," Gilliam said. Then he approached Link and Cale and asked, "Where's the rest of your class? In the locker room?"

"Nope," Link replied while Cale shook his head.

"Well, where are they? I know they're here; I saw your class coming out of the annex after Shiniyoi-sensei blew himself out the window."

"Yeah, that was interesting," Link said in a dull voice.

"I'm afraid we don't know wheah they went," Cale confessed. "I-I had to… visit the infihmary aftah aht class."

"Any of the other boys go with you?" Gilliam asked.

"Ah, well… a-a numbah of them weh theah when I ahrived," Cale replied. "I'd… injuhed myself… in-in aht class."

"You injured yourself," Gilliam said with an air of skepticism. "In art class."

"Y-yes?"

"Aidorei-sensei's art class," Gilliam said.

"Yyyyep…" Link answered.

Gilliam sighed and placed a hand over his face. "All right," he said. Then he called out, "Get your stretching done, and then all of you will give me two laps around the track. You can go back in when the bell rings. I'll be in the faculty office giving 'Aidorei-sensei' a piece of my mind."

Link rolled his eyes as Gilliam walked away, mostly because the last time he had words with Aidorei-sensei, Gilliam was missing the next day.

…

School ended, and Link had to change from his gym uniform to his regular uniform to his kendo outfit. The rest of the club was taking its time showing up, so Link decided to practice for a bit without his armor. Of course, with what he had seen lately, his swings were not as stiff and calculated as they used to be. Instead, he was trying to remember his last fight two days before and changed the way he swung his bamboo sword. For a moment, he was not fighting a human opponent in his head. He was fighting something taller, heavier, and made of metal. He was focused enough that he was not even paying attention as other club members entered.

WHAP! "Ow!" he hollered after a bamboo sword slapped the back of his head.

He turned around to find Meilont standing behind him, already changed into her robes with her sword resting on her shoulder. "Yeh ran away," she said with an even tone, a soft smile on her face.

"It wasn't my fault," Link whined as he rubbed the back of his head. "You and Chiehime-san just started arguing over me. It was awkward, and I was getting hungry."

"Ah, I see," she said with a nod. Then she pointed the sword with the tip resting on the end of his nose. "I'm holdin' yeh responsible."

Link gave an exhausted sigh. "Do we have to spar?" he asked.

"YES!" Both Link and Meilont gave the present club members surprised looks. They all appeared eager at the prospect of watching yet another fight between the two first-year students, already sitting at the edge of the practice floor. Link was not sure what the attraction was; watching how intense their fights had become lately seemed equally as interesting as the fact that Meilont was once more going to beat the crap out of him.

But Meilont, despite appearances, was mad at him. So he consigned himself to the fact that he was going to leave the school bruised and battered once more. "Okay, let's go get our armor," he told her.

He made to walk around her only to have her sword cross his vision. "Nope," she said. "I jus' go' done listenin' ta Chiehime tell me tha' yeh're leavin' me. I don' wanna aggrava'e maself puttin' on armor."

"Ooooooh!" the other club members droned.

"Leaving the club!" Link snapped at them. "Stop jumping to conclusions; you're high school students, not animation characters!"

"Let's go," Meilont told him as she moved to step to the middle of the floor.

"Mei-chan, listen," Link began.

He only had a second to spot the tighter grip she placed on her sword. Then he raised his sword to intercept the half-circle swing she made as she whirled around. Their swords clicked together, and Link took the extra moment he bought himself to lean backwards before her following jab could nail him in the chest. She withdrew and struck again with an overhead, diagonal strike. Link had to use both hands to block with a horizontal blade or else have the end of her sword crack him on the forehead. She whipped around, and Link immediately saw that she had changed her target. So he sidestepped and smacked away the vertical strike she was aiming in between his legs. His deflection caused her to stumble, and he used the opportunity to strengthen his stance and raise his sword in defense.

He did not dare attack. First, Meilont was a girl, and he had been taught by his parents not to hit girls after years of exchanging blows with Irleen. Second, he would rather be hurt than to hurt his childhood friend, especially since he was sure the rest of the kendo club would pummel him to death if he so much as put a bruise on her. Third, hitting Meilont would only make her angrier, and Link would prefer that she continue to use her sword than decide to sucker-punch him like she used to when they were eight years old.

Fourth, he was afraid to win.

At the same time, he did not want to try to disarm her or retreat from the fight. Again, if the sword came out of her hands, the next blow would be a fist to his face. And retreating just meant that she had an opening with which to beat his ass into the floor. Appealing to the club rules would, at best, make the club president call him a coward; at worst, he would lose the sword and still get the stuffing knocked out of him.

So he did all he could to wear her down. When she was angry at him, she liked to expend all of her frustration in trying to hurt him. She would eventually give up and switch to actual kendo rules, and Link would lose to a strike to the hands or take one in the chest. The only problem was how hurt he would be along the way.

When Meilont recovered, she turned to see that Link was ready for her. She twirled the sword and copied his stance. Link at first thought she had already worn out her frustration.

The uncalled strike he deflected from his face said otherwise. She had stepped back and then used a short, horizontal strike as she stepped forward again. He jerked his sword left to smack hers away. Her recovery was fast as she let the sword swing her arms backwards and then sprang her arms forward for a vertical strike. Link held his sword horizontal to intercept, and then he jerked hard to the right to draw her blade down and away from his skull. She had to pull her sword back to escape Link's entrapment. She jabbed low, and Link was forced to jump backwards in order to save his groin. The way he jumped backwards was a little clumsy.

WHAP!

Link's head snapped backwards when she used a short swing upwards to smack his chin. He reeled, attempting to steady himself on the only foot still on the floor.

WHAP! She cracked her sword across his ribs, and he finally gave up and fell to the floor. The club members gave a cheer.

Link rolled and found his feet in the same motion. He rose up on a knee to a diagonal swing aimed at his head again and used his sword-arm to deflect upwards with a wild swing. She was better prepared for this and let him sweep the sword away. This gave her the opportunity to wheel her arm around for a cheap shot aimed for his armpit.

Link dropped his sword, his reaction suddenly taking on an instinctual edge. He twisted his wrist to catch the sword in a reversed grip and planted the sword's point on the floor just as her sword made contact with it. The clack of blades signaled silence in the clubroom as both Meilont and the other club members registered Link's move. Link realized his mistake and exchanged a shocked look with Meilont.

Who then gave him a devilish smile.

Link immediately sprang to his feet as she withdrew her blade to prepare for another attack. He only had a moment to switch his hold on his sword, and it was already clear that he was busted. So he removed his hand from the blade and spun out of the way as Meilont brought a diagonal strike down on him. She missed, and he reached out to swipe his sword out of the air. Meilont quickly turned her strike upward toward him again, stepping into the strike to deliver more force. Link, with his own blade turned downward, slid his sword underneath hers so that the blade was parallel to the direction she was using. Then he twisted, ducked, and brought his sword up to direct her blade over his head. He then placed his other hand on the handle and stiffened his arms with his sword held in a basic ready position while her blade was unable to advance toward him. Meilont quickly withdrew her blade and swung it over her head in a circle. Link used a single step to turn and swung his sword downward with a firm strike. The end of his blade caught her blade near the base, and the shock interrupted the horizontal swing she had aimed for the back of his head. Meilont felt the shock in her arms as well and backed a moment to shake the pain out of one arm. A few of the male members stood up on a knee while two of the girls picked up the wooden swords they had swiped from the back room.

Meilont then charged forward with a jab that Link deflected by holding his blade near to parallel with hers with his tip underneath and then snapping upwards.

"Mask!" Meilont cried out. Link quickly thrust his arm up in a horizontal block meant for a vertical downswing.

WHAP! She struck with a horizontal swing aimed underneath his blade instead. Her blade met his left cheek, and he fell to the floor as the world around him suddenly took a left turn.

The clubroom broke into cheers and jeering at Link's expense. However, a few of the older members hollered for another fight. Link, dazed, sat up with one hand holding his head. He met Meilont's gaze.

And Meilont, with the sword shouldered again, gave him a quick smile before turning around.

…

"Yeh le' me win."

Link gave a sigh as he looked at the setting sun ahead of him. Then he sniffed and said, "Yeah. So?"

"How lon' have yeh been takin' dives?"

"Past couple of months," he replied truthfully.

She crossed her arms and leaned forward to try to look him in the eyes as they walked down the street. "Well then, why? I saw yeh in there! You could've beaten me tha' lon' ago."

Link could not help but burst out a brief chuckle. "Are you kidding?" he asked. "Look how you are. Confident and stubborn. If I'd started beating you, you'd just start fighting me just to see if you could ever beat me again."

"Tha's how a person gets strong," she argued. She pointed at him. "Yeh're lucky we don' have swords now; I'd challenge yeh fer a fair figh' righ' here."

"Hence why I was hiding it," Link said.

"Don' yeh see wha' yeh can brin' ta the school?" she asked. "The presiden' would have ta brin' yeh ta competition."

Link shook his head. "Don't you get it, Mei-chan? Half the things we do when we're fighting we could never legally pull off at a competition. We'd get thrown out."

Meilont sighed. "I don' ge' it, Link. Yeh used ta be so passiona'e about kendo. Don' tell me yeh actually are thinkin' o' givin' up."

"I don't know. At this point, I might have to. It depends on what the president says."

"Yeh can' give up!" She grabbed his sleeve and pulled him to a stop. "Linkun, wha's all this change all o' a sudden? Is somethin' wrong?"

"No, it's nothing like that!" Link asserted. Meilont's concerned look turned into an annoyed glare. So he answered, "Okay, things changed a bit."

"Bu' yeh won' tell me," she concluded. She gave a small huff. "And yeh tell me no' ta indulge Ligh'."

"No one needs to indulge Light."

["Hey!"]

"But that's not my point," Link continued. "Something came up that I need to take care of. It's making things weird, but I'm working on it."

"Righ'," she replied. "Well, when it's over, I'd like ma old friend back."

"Mei-chan…"

She huffed out another breath. "I didn' mean it spitefully. I don' like yeh keepin' secrets from me. I'll le' this one go, bu' if yeh don' watch yerself, I'll star' gettin' involved."

Link nodded. "Okay. Okay, I-I think I can do that. No more secrets. Uh—after this one."

"Deal," she said, giving his shoulder a playful slap. She looked down the street and then over her shoulder. "Yeh're headin' ta yer mom's place?"

"Yeah," Link said as they started walking again. "You wanna come? Have some dinner with us?"

"Nah, I have ta ge' home," she said. "Ma dad's waitin'."

"Okay." Link pointed ahead. "This is your corner, right?"

"Yep."

Then she put a hand up and ripped the bandage off his nose. "Ye-ouch!" Link hollered, holding his nose.

She folded the bandage between her fingers. "No more nose bandages," she told him before she turned down her street. "Yeh don' make it look good."

Link watched her walk away, rubbing a nose void of wound or scar.

…

The Sail Tavern was a fair-sized restaurant and bar built on the second floor above a grocery store further downtown beyond the shopping arcade. As the name suggested, it was themed as an old, European-style tavern complete with a wooden floor that creaked horribly, electric chandeliers which used LED candles in place of actual candles, and a fully-stocked bar behind a countertop that had seen some age. The tables, stools, and chairs, while also made of wood, were newer and well-kept. Some medieval weapons adorned the walls in between the few windows, although there was still an empty space where Link had stolen a sword from the establishment two months ago.

Leeta Moriyuki strode across the floor to examine the cleaning the morning staff had done. When Link entered, she immediately looked in his direction. So Link raised a hand and said, "Hi, Mom."

"Hi, Link," she answered as she watched him cross the floor. "How was school?"

"Shiniyoi-sensei blew up the annex, and Mei-chan's ma—hrk!"

Link was suddenly choked off when, while walking past her toward the bar, Leeta reached out and wrapped his head in her arms. "You could at least give your mother a hug when you drop by," she told him.

Link slipped out and backed away. "Mom, I asked you not to do that," he whined while rubbing his neck. "It hurts."

"What were you saying about Mei-chan?"

Link sighed. "She's… a little mad at me."

Leeta glanced at her waiting staff. Then she asked in a low voice, "Is it that stuff from before? The whole 'Captain Knight' thing?"

"Pretty much," Link whispered back. "I mean… how do I explain my swordsmanship's getting better because I've been fighting monsters almost every night?"

"You might have to tell her."

Link gave another sigh. "I know." He glanced around. "Dad and Irleen aren't here yet?"

"Your dad has to work late; they needed him on the docks. Irleen said she could fend for herself. So it'll be just you and me for tonight." Link nodded his understanding. "I need to finish checking the floor. Why don't you go give Twali your order?"

"Okay," Link said.

He walked to the bar on the left side of the restaurant from the entrance and sat down. Luggard Denshabito had to turn in order to notice Link sitting behind him. "Oh, oy there, Link," he said. "'Ow's 'igh school?"

"It's high school," Link replied with an indifferent shrug. "How's college?"

Luggard shrugged. "It's college. Like 'igh school, jus' slower."

"Yeah, but I bet you don't have to deal with a chemistry teacher who likes to blow things up."

"I's there when they 'ired Shiniyoi," Luggard pointed out. "I'd've been commutin' t' another school if 'e 'adn't set fire t' the cram school tha' use' t' be there."

"I don't remember if I asked you before, but did you ever meet Aidorei-sensei? The art teacher?"

"Don' soun' familiar."

"Gelto. Tall."

"Beau'iful?"

"Are you kidding? My whole class took a dive today just because they wanted her to hug them in sympathy. Half of the first-year class was crammed together outside the infirmary just because she was there."

"Damn. Where was those teachers when I was there?" Luggard paused while Link stared at the counter in boredom. "If this was an animation, now'd be a good time t' ge' attacked."

"Yeah, well, this is a fanfiction," Link replied as he stretched his arms upward. "Which means Light ran out of material for this scene and is about to cut to a couple of hours later."

…

A couple of hours later, the—…

["GODDAMMIT!"]

A couple of hours later, the restaurant was alive with patrons. Link only lingered for a bit after having dinner with Leeta, and then he decided that he should go home and see how much homework he was going to ignore tonight.

Judging from the black portal in the middle of the residential street he was walking on, he quite possibly was not going to get to his homework. He was only halfway home, and he could see the fight coming.

A metal grating that almost sounded like cackling emerged from the portal before the Stalarmor. It wore full plate armor without a helmet. It did not need a helmet, having welded spikes directly to its steel skull. The grating came from its jaw, and the Stalarmor stopped with as much of a confused look its metal eye sockets and pinpoint light eyes could provide. The hand not holding a maul reached up and felt around its jaw. It seemed to find the problem and tugged on one side of its jaw until there was a metal snap. Then it opened and closed its mouth to test out its adjustment.

"A Stalarmor?" Link asked with a distinct lack of surprise. "We did this last week. And it seems they sent Curly after me." The Stalarmor raised the maul and then slammed it on the pavement in a show of strength, cracking the surface.

Then lightning jumped out of the portal behind it. Two more figures stepped up to flank the Stalarmor. One was a green Dinolfos with a double-bit axe in one hand while the other held a circular shield. The other was a blue Dinolfos with a pair of short-swords.

"Larry, Moe," Link said, "welcome to the party. Okay, here's how this is gonna work. I'm gonna transform, and theeeeeen…" He pointed to the green Dinolfos. "I'm going to kill you first. Probably won't be pretty, but I've got hero's insurance, so it'll be okay. Then I'll take out Moe, and, if there's any justice, Curly will have a hand in it before I find the jewel on his body and smash it. Fair?"

Lightning shot from the portal again, and the trio stepped aside. Another Dinolfos stepped out of the portal, but this one was different. First, it was a head taller than the other Dinolfos. Instead of the dinosaur-like head, this one looked more like an alligator. It had a bandana tied to its shallow forehead. It wore shorts and a tank top spattered with oil. Across that tank top was a pair of ammunition belts. Also slung to its front was machine gun. However, what really caught Link's attention was the massive minigun ["What an idiotic contradiction…"] the Gatolfos shrugged off its shoulder. It held to barrel pointed at Link, and Link could hear a whrrrrrrrRRRRR as the motor warmed up and began spinning the barrels.

Link gave a nervous laugh while the corners of the Gatolfos' mouth picked up. "Oh," he said. "Uh… well, that, uh… that changes things."

Link then ran screaming down a side street just before the minigun began chewing the road apart, its report masking the Gatolfos' high-pitched squeals of manic and murderous delight. It advanced down the road with its fingers still on the trigger and riddled the outer walls of the nearby residences with bullets as it turned to chase Link. Link could hear the bullets' rapid approach along the walls and dove into another street before the bullets could find him. He kept low as the bullets pelted the corner for a moment before moving on to the next corner.

Link sat up and pressed his back against the nearby streetlight, listening to his own breathing being drowned out by hundreds of rounds a minute. When the firing stopped, Link strained to listen. Then he looked down at his school bag. Well, the handle of his school bag; the rest of it looked to have been shot off. Link sighed and said to himself as he tossed the handle aside, "Fourth one this month. Where the hell does a two-hundred-year-old monster overlord find a psycho with a minigun?"

He stood up and pulled on his left sleeve to reveal a gold bracelet adorned with a green, triangular button. He pressed the button down and hollered out, "Courageous Heart!" The bracelet responded by glowing green. Link then added, "And make it quick before I become Swiss cheese!"

He was enveloped in green light that shredded his uniform apart. A pulse of white light traced along his arm and onto his chest, where it settled near his heart. Then ropes spilled from his chest and encircled Link's torso and hips. They melted together until they formed a green, sleeveless tunic. The light then separated and moved to his hands, feet, and forehead while brown trousers grew from underneath the tunic. More ropes spilled from the lights in his hands and feet. Around his hands, they formed fingerless gloves made of leather. At his feet, they wound themselves into a pair of leather boots that sported pastel-blue wing patches stitched to the ankles. Two belts circled from around his lower back and locked together in front of him while a third, larger belt grew from behind his left shoulder, traveled down his front, and wound around his back again. The glowing bracelet around his wrist shattered into dust. This dust then pulled back together at various points on his body. It formed a flare gun with fitting shells on one of his belts, a thicker and tighter bracelet with a ruby on his left wrist, a blue cloth tied to his right upper arm, a pouch behind his back on the second belt around his waist, a small pin hammer that was only tucked into the front of that same belt, a broadsword Zelda had called the "Lokomo Sword" slung to the belt higher on his back, and a heater-shaped shield bearing a triangle and ray motif on his right forearm. The remaining light molded itself into a band around his forehead. Then it stretched into a lime green band while spreading upward to form a pointed cap. The green light receded from his head and solidified into a skin-tight, lime green suit.

When the ambient light disappeared from Link, he pressed his back to the wall. "Okay," he said to himself. "To monologue, or not to monologue." He jumped out around the corner. "Here I—"

WhrrrrrRRRRRRR…

"GYAH!" Link jumped back behind the corner just as the minigun tore into the air again. He moved further away from the corner as chunks of concrete were sent flying from the wall. "Right," he said to himself. "Psychotic lizard. Why was that even a question?" He pulled his flare gun from behind his back and took a shell from his belt. He had to angle it in the light to make sure it was a flare and not a smoke shell, and then he loaded it. He turned and looked up at the roof beyond the outer wall. However, he quickly decided that jumping up there was a bad idea; so far, the Gatolfos was keeping the minigun level with the ground, where the walls provided the nearby homes protection from bullets. So Link turned toward the street. He saw an alley just a little further down the street from the lizard posse. The Gatolfos held fire as they waited to see if they had gotten Link.

So Link dashed out into the road, rendering himself little more than a blur that his adversaries could barely see in the poor light. His venture into the open lasted maybe a second, far too fast for the Gatolfos to bring its minigun back up to speed in time to fire. Link fired his flare gun backwards before disappearing down the alley. Link slid to a stop just in time to hear the minigun begin mauling the street again. He flipped the flare gun open and used a corner of his shield to pry the hot shell out. He replaced it with another flare and glanced up at the alley. From what Link could tell, the alley ended at the next street. It gave Link the idea of using his super speed to round the block and sneak up behind them. He clicked the gun shut and replaced it. Then, with the minigun's report still behind him, he sped down the alley and up the street back to the main road he had been using as a leisurely stroll back home. It did not appear as leisurely with the pavement ripped apart and bullet holes decorating the residential walls. He would have to make this quick; he could see lights turning on in some of the nearby houses.

He dashed to the corner and peered around. He found that his attempt to surprise the Dinolfos had been foiled by the axe-wielding Dinolfos, who was slowly tracking backwards down the street to keep its companions covered. Link's green flare sat glowing on the ground behind the group, more or less ignored. However, Link did not feel that all was lost. Leading the pack was the Gatolfos. And he wondered just how psychotic the reptile was.

So he jumped out into the middle of the street. "Here I stand before you, evil-doers!" he declared in a boisterous voice, feeling not less stupid than the first time his powers had compelled him to monologue. His appearance caused the group to stop and turn their heads to look at him. He turned and pointed his empty hand at them. "I have sailed the seas of time and destiny to face you! The rise of my sun will bring an end to Cunimincus' night! My blade serves the goddess Zelda and strikes down the wicked! I am Captain Knight, and you shall fall under the strength of justice and my Courageous Heart!"

None of the Dinolfos or the Stalarmor moved for a moment, baffled by Link's apparently blatant stupidity. Then…

WhrrrrrrRRRRRR…

The Gatolfos let out an incoherent ramble in its high-pitched voice as it spun its minigun's barrels. Link felt that he had to give credit to Cunimincus' men this time; both the small Dinolfos and the Stalarmor were smart enough to realize that they were standing in a very bad place. The rapid thrumming report of the minigun was already sounding as the Gatolfos then had to haul the minigun around to bring it to bear on Link. The Stalarmor jerked and writhed as gunfire riddled its body, both its armor and its interior spaces. The sound was like listening to pots and pans banging together. The tailing Dinolfos being razed by the minigun was decidedly not as clean. Link only got a brief look at the start of the action before skipping sideways to the other side of the street. He had to turn out of the way as bullets tore the corner of the wall apart. He decided to count that first Dinolfos as deceased. And possibly rent into a pile of reptilian steaks. The concept left him a little queasy, and he tried to shove the idea aside.

The minigun stopped firing sooner than Link expected. He carefully edged his way back until he could see down the road through one of the openings in the corner. The Gatolfos was shaking the minigun in annoyance. He jerked a thumb at his back to signal the bullet-riddled Stalarmor. The Stalarmor then glanced at the Gatolfos' backpack. Its response was to smack the Gatolfos on the back of the head, knocking its bandana off. The Gatolfos gave an annoyed wail in response to the Stalarmor and threw down the minigun. Link breathed a sigh of relief. Out of ammo. He watched for a moment while the Gatolfos then took up the machine gun and unsnapped one of its ammo belts.

Then Link decided to strike. He jumped into the middle of the street and charged with his shield held before him. The Stalarmor and remaining Dinolfos barely had time to see him before he dashed past them. He hit the Gatolfos with such force that it was lifted off its feet and flung down the street. The hit also allowed Link to slow much closer to where the Gatolfos had been standing. He stopped and spun to see what the Stalarmor was doing.

The Stalarmor had its maul raised above its head. Link did not have time to dodge or even bring his shield around to defend himself.

Tink! And yet, the Stalarmor did not get the chance to smash Link's skull in. Something skipped off the side of its head, jarring vision that was already made difficult by the bullet hole in its left eye socket. It staggered, and Link backed out of its range. The Stalarmor shook its head, rattling the bullets caught in its empty braincase. It looked up from about the direction it had thought it had seen the flash of metal that had hit it. Both Link and the remaining Dinolfos also looked.

She stood at the very apex at the very end of the nearest house. Her lithe build was framed by the half moon behind her. The streetlights revealed her skin-tight, black suit adorned with various straps and pockets. A mask was stretched across her nose to cover the bottom of her face. She was clearly Gelto, revealed by the dark complexion and a ponytail of bright red hair that fell as far as her knees. Link had met her not long after his first fight with Cunimincus' minions. She did not speak and would not dare wander close to him outside of battle, so he did not know her name. Since then, Link had dubbed her the "Scarlet Shadow".

Link held his arms out wide. "Hey," he called up to her. "Feel like hanging around tonight?" She turned around and started walking away along the roof. "Guess not."

He then drew his sword and turned back to the Stalarmor. It raised its maul, but Link was much faster in advancing for an attack. He jabbed at the Stalarmor's head. The tip of the Lokomo Sword found the bullet hole in its left eye socket, providing the sword an anchor point as he pressed the jab forward. The Stalarmor became disoriented and had to release one hand from the maul to grab Link's sword. The maul, without its weight in check, caused the Stalarmor's right arm to pull backwards until the armor snapped free of its rivets, allowing the shoulder to twist far beyond a human's range until the bone simply popped out of the shoulder joint. The arm clattered to the ground, and the Stalarmor shoved Link's sword aside. It then brought its fist around to further ward Link off. Link swung his right arm and met the Stalarmor's hand with his shield. The shield caused some of the bones in the Stalarmor's gauntlet to fall loose, but the Stalarmor took a step forward to push Link away.

While the Stalarmor waved its hand to listen to its new maraca, Link spun to find the other Dinolfos. The Dinolfos had taken shelter down an alley when the Scarlet Shadow had arrived. It was now charging for Link with both swords poised to strike from either side. Link backpedaled a few steps so that he had room to intercept the reptile. Then he took a step forward and leapt over the Dinolfos just as it swung at him. He spun and flipped at the apex of his jump so that when he landed, he was already facing the Dinolfos as it slid to a stop. It whirled with a sword coming down in a backhanded, diagonal strike. Link thrust his shield at the sword, and the resulting clang echoed down the street. The Dinolfos would have hit its own face with that sword if its awkward hold on the other sword had not been there to block it. Link then jabbed the Lokomo Sword into its exposed thigh. The Dinolfos let out a horrific scream before attempting retaliation with a horizontal swing leveled to behead Link. Link ducked under the blade and held his shield up to block the other sword that the Dinolfos was swinging in the same manner as a follow-through attack. He pushed the sword away as the Dinolfos attempted to stab his chest with the first sword. Link swept a horizontal blade upward to deflect the stab. He twisted his wrist so that the sword he was deflecting would slide into the guard. Once the sword was arrested in the Lokomo Sword's abnormal design, Link angled the blade downward and away so that he could drop the Dinolfos' defense on its right side. The Dinolfos tried to stab with its left sword. Link quickly withdrew his own sword and turned so that he could deflect with the lower half of his shield. He spun with his sideways motion and used the momentum to put forward a horizontal slash. The backhanded attack found the Dinolfos' head, cracking its skull and sending a line of blood along the ground as Link's follow-through pulled the blade from its face. The Dinolfos fell to the ground.

Link then heard the metal rattling of the Stalarmor's bullet-ridden body and spun in response. The Stalarmor had reattached its arm (although its pauldron was horribly misshapen) and was advancing on him with its maul slowly rising for that overhead strike it was interested in dealing.

Ka-chak! Then Link saw the Gatolfos rising behind the Stalarmor. And it had the ammo belt locked into its machine gun.

"Uh oh."

The Gatolfos let out a wild yell and opened fire. Link quickly closed ranks with the Stalarmor, who then felt fully automatic fire pierce into its back. It jerked where it stood, dropping its maul and absorbing rounds while Link hunched low with his shield held in front of the opening in the Stalarmor's legs. The Gatolfos abandoned all focus and waved the machine gun around, spraying down most of the street. Hidden on the other side of the Stalarmor, Link replaced his sword and reached for the pouch behind his back.

The Gatolfos held fire, mostly out of confusion since he did not see Link's body lying on the ground. The Stalarmor turned around and held its arms out as if to indignantly ask the Gatolfos what the hell it was doing. In that same moment, Link ran for a wall while he pulled his secret weapon from behind his back. He managed one, and then two steps up the side of the wall. Then, as he dropped back to the ground, he twisted.

His aim was nearly perfect as the boomerang bashed the Gatolfos in between the eyes. The Gatolfos fell backwards, discharging his machine gun into the air until he landed flat on the ground. Link then turned his attention back to the Stalarmor.

And there, visible in the massive holes the Gatolfos had shot through the Stalarmor's back, Link saw the Stalarmor's life jewel embedded in one of its vertebrae.

The Stalarmor then turned to guard its back. It reached over to pick up its maul. Link took that opportunity to charge. The Stalarmor could not stand fast enough as Link used his shield to knock its head off. Its head went flying high into the air. The spin the strike produced caused the Stalarmor's body to flail in an attempt to maintain balance. Without any way to protect itself, Link slipped under one arm while he drew his pin hammer from his belt. He had to grab the Stalarmor's spine to hold it still, and then he smashed the jewel. The Stalarmor stopped moving and fell apart where it stood. The part of spine Link had to hold dislodged as it fell, and he nonchalantly tossed the vertebrae into the pile with the rest of the dead creature.

Link heard a groan and turned his head to watch the Gatolfos stagger to its feet. Link reached around his back for his flare gun. But the Gatolfos was faster on the draw, taking aim at Link from the hip. He stood in the middle of the street with almost no cover. His only option was to drop to one knee and hunch low behind his shield as the Gatolfos opened fire. Bullets flew by Link's head, and they pelted the front of his shield hard. One penetrated the shield and hit his right shoulder. The Gatolfos brought itself under control, and Link could feel the shield start to splinter apart.

Kik kink. Kink. Link then looked up when the impacts against his shield stopped. The Gatolfos was holding its machine gun pointed at the ground, using the bolt to try to clear a jam. It became violent with its efforts, possibly because every second spent not shooting at Link left it open to attack. Link stood up and shook the shield off his arm. The heavy clang against the ground alerted the Gatolfos, and it looked up at him.

Link drew the Lokomo Sword and thrust it into the air. "Time for you to find out where the 'Captain' part of my name comes from," he told the Gatolfos. Then he called to the sky, "Spirit of the Island Symphony!"

The air behind Link ripped apart, spilling out blue wind that engulfed the street. The Gatolfos stepped backwards as a transparent ship hull rose from the opening. Shouting sounded from the deck. The same blue wind engulfed the blade of the Lokomo Sword, and Link changed position so that he was ready to level a horizontal strike.

"FUUUUUUUUUULL… SAAAAAAAAAAAIL… SLAAAAASH!"

The six sails of the ship opened outward, and the ship lurched forward at an intense speed. At the same time, Link advanced on the Gatolfos despite his feet being planted firmly on the ground. The Gatolfos turned to flee.

Link reached it before it took its first step and struck. His blade sliced clean through the Gatolfos at shoulder-level. The ferocious winds from the phantom ship then picked up the Gatolfos and flung it out of sight as Link came back to a rest on the pavement.

He stood up straight and watched as the last visions of the ship and wind faded away. His outfit turned into green light and burst apart, revealing his uniform perfectly intact.

Then he collapsed to the ground, his legs as well as the left side of his body completely numb. He barely noticed his head striking the pavement. His brain swam with unusual thoughts for a moment. This was how his day usually ended. The physical demands to use his "Full Sail Slash" tended to drain him of his ability to move or think rationally. The fatigue would clear up in a moment, but the numbness would persist if he could not get any help.

Once his thoughts had cleared, he reached into the pocket of his trousers and pulled out a cellular phone. This was an emergency phone that only one other person knew about. It was the same person whose number was the only number in the phone's contacts list. He dialed it and held the phone to his ear. It rang once… twice… thrice—

::"Aaah. Linkun."::

"Hi, Zelda," Link groaned into the phone.

::"I take it that our mutual enemy has struck again?"::

"Yep."

::"And, yet again, I must use my goddess powers to set right the damage done to the town?"::

"Pretty much."

::"Where are you?"::

"Not far from the shopping arcade. Just look for the street covered in bullet holes; I'll be down one of the side roads."

::"Can you move?"::

"Not really, no."

::"I shall be there as soon as possible."::

"Yeah. Great." With those parting words oozing sarcasm, he hung up the phone and put it in his pocket.

Then he noticed that someone was standing near his head and looked up. He rolled himself to find that the Scarlet Shadow had returned. She was staring down at him, the overhead streetlight leaving her face in the dark.

He managed half of a grin due to the left side of his face still being numb. "Don't act like you haven't seen me this way before," he told her. "This is how I always end the night." She did not answer. She did not even move as she stared at him. "I don't suppose you'd like to at least tell me your real name. Otherwise, I'll just have to keep calling you 'Scarlet Shadow'. It's lame, but it's the best I can come up with."

She carefully moved to one side and hunched low. This allowed Link to see the curiosity glowing in her gold eyes. It actually left Link a little amused. He had only ever seen her glaring at things. Knowing that her eyes opened wider than that somehow seemed funny. Then she started reaching a hand out to him. This caused him to give her a curious look.

Then she stopped, her eyes wide with surprise. Before Link could gauge what was happening, she jumped out of sight. He sighed. Maybe he would have to fake his fatigue to catch her next time.

…

Zelda arrived what felt like hours later. Link had not moved much, so when she stepped up to him, he had to look up at her from where he lay.

"It would seem that you are paralyzed again, Linkun," she observed.

"Oh, yeah," Link answered in a flat tone.

"How curious that this always seems to befall you," she said. She pulled a string from her jeans pocket and let it unravel. "Perhaps you have been expending yourself too much lately."

"I think it's that whole 'final attack' thing. I never seem wiped out if I change back without doing it."

She held part of the string between two of her fingers and gave a tug. Link's left arm jumped up in response. "It has never happened with the others," she pointed out as she began to tangle the string between fingers.

"Well, it happens to me."

Zelda looked to have simply tangled the fingers of both hands together with her actions. However, she then pulled her hands apart, leaving the strings suspended in the air as she had arranged them. She took the string into her hand as if it was a solid, whole object and placed one finger on it as if she was pressing a button on a remote control. Link's body reacted on its own, bringing him to his feet without any kind of will from him. "Where is your school bag?" she asked him.

"It got shot to pieces," Link answered. "Uh… needless to say, my homework was in it."

"I shall fashion another bag for you in the morning," she said as she turned to walk up the street. She pushed another "button" on her string remote, and Link fell into step behind her. "You might use your time in the morning to do your homework before class starts. If you do not keep up your grades, your teachers might suspect that you are turning into a slacker."

"It hasn't been easy lately," Link said, looking down as she directed him around the Stalarmor's body.

Link recapped the fight for Zelda as they walked to his house. Once they were outside, she directed him by remote inside and undressed him while she remained outside. Once he was in bed (without his pajamas once again, despite telling her to dress him in them before), she returned the remote to its life as a simple string.

Link, meanwhile, lay in bed as he felt his body slowly recovering from the numbness and his single bullet wound. He lost track of time just before he fell asleep, but he prayed to himself that he would not have to get into another fight tomorrow.

…

Tale #6 of the Island Symphony – END

NOTICE: As stated above, this is not at all canon with Sky Lines. This is stupid. This is campy. This is what I do with my spare time.