NOTICE: The following section is ambiguously canon. The likelihood that it happened is pretty equal to the likelihood that it didn't happen.

…

Tale #9: "Did Anyone Here Take Sex Ed?"

Whump!

"LAYNA, NO!"

Link turned around to see that Layna, ever stalking him from the masts (he assumed), had yet again ambushed someone into the deck with a blade held against his neck. Leynne had been the one to call out, causing both Lwamm and Twali to start. Link's reaction had been relatively nonchalant, although he was still surprised by the fact that Layna had ambushed someone he had not seen standing there just moments before.

He leaned over and said, "Hey, Gil. Didn't see you there."

"Hi, kid," Gilliam replied through a mouth being smashed into the deck planks. "Get her off me."

Link glanced up at Layna. "You sure? You look comfortable…"

"She's, about… five seconds away from snapping my wrist."

Link grinned and gestured Layna aside as he told her, "Okay, Layna, get off him. It's okay, it's just Sir Gilliam." Layna stood up and backed away.

Gilliam took his time getting to his feet, holding his neck in pain while twisting his opposite wrist. He turned to give Layna an annoyed glare only to be met with Layna's "Kill Mode" blank stare. "Has she killed anyone doing that yet?" he asked.

"She's actually pretty good at holding back when she does that," Link answered. "She was in this habit, for a while, where she was stabbing people in the neck to knock them out."

"Did you have to order her to stop?" Gilliam asked as he glanced over to see Leynne approaching.

"Actually, we think she ran out of needles first," Link replied with an embarrassed tone.

"Masteh Gilliam," Leynne spoke up in a friendly tone as he stepped into place next to Link. "To what do we owe the pleasuh?"

"Just stopped in to visit," Gilliam replied, straightening his tunic. "I understand you got married."

"I did," Leynne responded with a nod.

Gilliam pointed at Lwamm and Twali, who were conversing with each other while observing the group from afar. "Which one?"

"The one that almost broke youh jaw."

Gilliam grimaced at the thought and the memory. "You're asking for trouble there, Lieutenant. Anyone else get hitched? For my own curiosity?"

Link shook his head while Leynne answered, "I'm afraid that the only otheh romance you'll eveh find on-boahd is the teenage antics of ouh cook and supply chief."

Gilliam gave a half-smile and indicated something behind Link and Leynne. "Oh, yeah? How do you explain that?"

Link and Leynne turned to follow his line of sight. They saw that, approaching them from the starboard stairs, was Dholit. Link could not quite figure out what it was, but Dholit appeared different to him. It seemed as if others had noticed as well; both Twali's and Lwamm's jaws dropped open as Dholit strutted past them, and Leynne mumbled something under his breath that sounded like a curse. It still had not occurred to Link until Dholit flashed a bright smile at him, one hand sliding over her covered belly.

Her protruding, covered belly.

"My Captain, Leynne," she said in greeting to both as Link's expression switched to puzzled. Then she gave Gilliam a sly grin as she said, "Mistah Gilliam."

"Hotlips," Gilliam replied in greeting, although he kept his features neutral. He indicated her stomach. "Do I need to guess how that happened?"

"Possibly not," Dholit said, eyes flitting in Link's direction for a moment. "You ah welcome to, though. I don't mind answering a few pahsonal questions."

"What?" Link asked. "What about?"

"Hotlips is pregnant," Gilliam said, giving Link an annoyed look.

"Yo—… you're what!?" Link snapped, turning back to Dholit.

"Yes, with child," Dholit said with a faraway tone. "I have succeeded in my duty as a yabbid, and I have such glorious feelings like you men will nevah undahstand."

"'Yabbid'?" Gilliam asked.

Leynne turned to him and shrugged. "The best we undehstand, it means 'designated motheh'."

"Dholit!" Lwamm snapped as she and Twali approached her from behind. "Waba laxmya'ak dhol?!"

"Looks like trouble," Gilliam said under his breath.

"Just watch," Leynne whispered back.

"'Imayn taris," Dholit said as she turned to confront her sisters with her usual grin.

"Dholit," Twali said, her tone much more calming than Lwamm's, "'ak iydayb zhax?"

Dholit crossed her arms. "'Inu naddhobalak," she told them.

Twali's and Lwamm's eyes widened, and their gazes slowly turned to Link. "What?" Link asked.

"Waba 'adhmya'ak May Kyabtin!?" Twali shouted in Dholit's face.

Lwamm's eyes darted between Dholit and Twali for a moment. Then she told Twali, "Yayxwok."

"Waba yaxwkya'ak May Kyabtin!?" Twali corrected herself, her voice the same level of hysteria.

"Wabin nadlway'adhiycak max?" Dholit asked, swaying her hips as she stood.

"'Oyfzhax dha' dhol naday?" Lwamm immediately started and bumped into Twali upon realizing that Layna was standing next to her, leaned forward with her eyes locked on Dholit's stomach. The fact that she spoke had probably spooked Lwamm and Twali more since Link, Leynne, and Gilliam had seen her sidle up next to Lwamm.

Dholit cradled her stomach as if she was actually holding it. "Ah, 'imayn Layna 'amoski," she said with her teasing lilt. "Sa'it kilwufak cussib 'ithab."

Layna stood up, eyes still on Dholit's belly. Then, without warning, she grabbed Dholit by the front of her shirt and pressed her lips to Dholit's mouth. Dholit was understandably taken off-guard, and Twali's jaw dropped open in shock. Leynne placed a hand over his eyes to reveal his frustration. Gilliam tried to avert his gaze while his face turned red. Link took a sudden interest in his boots.

Lwamm thrust her arms in between Dholit and Layna so that she could pry them apart. "Layna!" she hollered as Layna, confused, stumbled backwards. "Waba liyxomotak dhol!?"

"'Inu yamyizhiydak atiy'ab," Layna responded.

"Dhol!?" Lwamm snapped at her.

"Layna, waba nadsayizhudak atiy'ab 'immu ziyn," Dholit said, causing Lwamm and Twali to give her a pair of cross looks.

Layna's eyes widened with understanding. Link looked up just in time to find Layna suddenly push between Lwamm and Twali. He had only a split second to react, and it was not enough for him to prevent Layna from catching him by the jaw. She locked lips with him, and his struggle ceased immediately.

"What is going on!?" Leynne snapped while Gilliam turned to hide his laughter away.

"Layna!" Twali hissed, one hand jerking through the air to signal Layna away. "Nwoyrotan!"

Link finally came to his senses and pushed on Layna's shoulders to force her away. "Layna!" Link snapped. "What are you doing!?"

"Layna," Lwamm said. "Waba nadyizhudak atiy'ab; waba tay'obak."

Layna looked down at Link's hands, and Link quickly withdrew those hands out of fear that she would chop them off in the next moment. "'Oyfzhax dha' dhol naday?" she asked as she turned to Lwamm. However, instead of responding, Lwamm's and Twali's faces blanked in pure confusion.

"You're responsible for this!" Link accused as he pointed a finger at Dholit.

"Well, faih is faih, My Captain," Dholit replied. She made a show of rubbing her belly as she added, "You ah responsible foh this."

"I—… I'm what?" Link asked.

"He's what!?" both Leynne and Gilliam snapped.

"Oh, if only you two knew Giltoan," Dholit mused as she turned to them. "Lwamm and Twali ah upset at the fact that My Captain is the fathah of my child."

Leynne and Gilliam slowly turned to Link. When Link caught the daggers in their eyes, he raised his hands to defend himself. "Wa-wait a minute!" he cried at them. "I-I don't even know how this happened!"

"Did we ask for details?" Gilliam said.

Leynne, however, turned to Dholit and asked, "When?"

"About two months ago," Dholit answered.

"Two months?" Leynne asked. "You do realize that you've only recently decided to coveh youh abdomen."

"I meahly felt that today would be a little embarrassing to walk about the ship with a bulge," Dholit replied.

"You? Embarrassed?"

Dholit shrugged. "I have my moment of humility."

Leynne nodded at her. "Few and fah between, I'm suh. Lift the shiht, Dholit."

"Why, Leynne," Dholit said as she turned halfway away from him, "have we discovahed a latent fetish?"

"Now, Dholit."

Dholit let out a sigh and pulled up the bottom hem of the red shirt she wore. A small pillow immediately fell from underneath, plopping to the deck like dead weight. Dholit then indignantly tugged the shirt back into place. "I can only stand so much scrutiny," she told Leynne. "It hahdly seems faih."

"You'h trying to convince a fouhteen-yeah-old aihship captain that you'h pregnant with his child," Leynne replied. "What level of faihness does that coveh?"

Dholit sighed and shrugged. "Oh, well. I suppose my ruse could only last foh so long." She started walking away. "I shall be back, My Captain."

Leynne then turned to Link and Gilliam. "Have… neitheh of you any idea of how pregnancy wohks?" he asked.

"Not married," Gilliam replied as he raised a hand.

"Fourteen years old," Link said, also holding a hand up.

"I'm a twenty-seven-yeah-old fohmeh recluse," Leynne said, "and I still know moh than you two?" He turned to find that Lwamm and Twali had started walking away while Layna had just plain disappeared. "I'm second-in-command of a ship of children…"

…

Tale #9 of the Island Symphony – END

NOTICE: As stated above, this is ambiguously canon. And evidence that Link would be royally screwed if Dholit ever got her way.