NOTICE: The following section is completely canon. It happened, no denying it. Why? We suspect bad food.

…

Tale #10: "The Answer is Definitely No"

Whump!

"LAYNA, NO!"

Link turned around to see that Layna, ever stalking him from the masts, had yet again ambushed someone into the deck with a blade held against his neck. Leynne had been the one to call out, causing both Lwamm and Twali to start. Link's reaction had been relatively nonchalant, although he was still surprised by the fact that Layna had ambushed someone he had not seen standing there just moments before.

He leaned over and said, "Hey, Gil. Didn't see you there."

"Hi, kid," Gilliam replied through a mouth being smashed into the deck planks. "Get her off me."

Link glanced up at Layna. "You sure? You look comfortable…"

"She's about five seconds away from snapping my wrist."

Link grinned and gestured Layna aside as he told her, "Okay, Layna, get off him. It's okay; it's just Sir Gilliam." Layna stood up and backed away.

Gilliam took his time getting to his feet, holding his neck in pain while twisting his opposite wrist. He turned to give Layna an annoyed glare only to be met with Layna's "Kill Mode" blank stare. "Has she killed anyone doing that yet?" he asked.

"She's actually pretty good at holding back when she does it," Link answered. "She was in this habit, for a while, where she was stabbing people in the neck to knock them out."

"Did you have to order her to stop?" Gilliam asked as he glanced over to see Leynne approaching.

"Actually, we think she ran out of needles first," Link replied with an embarrassed tone.

"Masteh Gilliam," Leynne spoke up in a friendly tone as he stepped into place next to Link. "To what do we owe the pleasuh?"

"Just stopped in to visit," Gilliam replied, straightening his tunic. "Enjoyed the warm welcome. I understand you got married."

"I did," Leynne responded with a nod.

Gilliam pointed at Lwamm and Twali, who were conversing with each other while observing the group from at a distance. "Which one?"

"The one that almost broke youh jaw."

Gilliam grimaced at the thought and the memory. "You're asking for trouble there, Lieutenant. Anyone else get hitched? For my own curiosity?"

Link shook his head while Leynne answered, "I'm afraid that the only otheh romance you'll eveh find on-boahd is the teenage antics of ouh cook and supply chief."

Gilliam gave a half-smile and indicated something behind Link and Leynne. "Oh, yeah? How do you explain that?"

Link and Leynne turned to follow his line of sight. They saw that, approaching them from the starboard stairs, was Dholit. Link could not quite figure out what it was, but Dholit appeared different to him. It seemed as if others had noticed as well; both Twali's and Lwamm's jaws dropped open as Dholit strutted past them, and Leynne mumbled something under his breath that sounded like a curse. It still had not occurred to Link until Dholit flashed a bright smile at him, one hand sliding over her covered belly.

Her protruding, covered belly.

"My Captain, Leynne," she said in greeting to both as Link's expression switched to puzzled. Then she gave Gilliam a sly grin as she said, "Mistah Gilliam."

"Hotlips," Gilliam replied in greeting, although he kept his features neutral. He indicated her stomach. "Do I need to guess how that happened?"

"Possibly not," Dholit said, eyes flitting in Link's direction for a moment. "You ah welcome to, though. I don't mind answering a few pahsonal questions."

"What?" Link asked. "What about?"

"Hotlips is pregnant," Gilliam said, giving Link an annoyed look.

"Yo—… you're what!?" Link snapped, turning back to Dholit.

"Yes, with child," Dholit said with a faraway tone. "I have succeeded in my duty as a yabbid, and I have such glorious feelings like you men will nevah undahstand."

"'Yabbid'?" Gilliam asked.

Leynne turned to him and shrugged. "The best we undehstand, it means 'designated motheh'."

"Dholit!" Lwamm snapped as she and Twali approached her from behind. "Waba laxmya'ak dhol?!"

"Looks like trouble," Gilliam said under his breath.

"Just watch," Leynne whispered back.

"'Imayn taris," Dholit said as she turned to confront her sisters with her usual grin.

"Dholit," Twali said, her tone much more calming than Lwamm's, "'ak iydayb zhax?"

Dholit crossed her arms. "'Inu naddhobalak," she told them.

Twali's and Lwamm's eyes widened, and their gazes slowly turned to Link. "What?" Link asked.

"Waba 'adhmya'ak May Kyabtin!?" Twali shouted in Dholit's face.

Lwamm's eyes darted between Dholit and Twali for a moment. Then she told Twali, "Yayxwok."

"Waba yaxwkya'ak May Kyabtin!?" Twali corrected herself, her voice the same level of hysteria.

"Wabin nadlway'adhiycak max?" Dholit asked, swaying her hips as she stood.

"'Oyfzhax dha' dhol naday?" Lwamm immediately started and bumped into Twali upon realizing that Layna was standing next to her, leaned forward with her eyes locked on Dholit's stomach. The fact that she spoke had probably spooked Lwamm and Twali more since Link, Leynne, and Gilliam had seen her sidle up next to Lwamm.

Dholit cradled her stomach as if she was actually holding it. "Ah, 'imayn Layna 'amoski," she said with her teasing lilt. "Sa'it kilwufak cussib 'ithab."

Layna stood up, eyes still on Dholit's belly. Then, without warning, she grabbed Dholit by the front of her shirt and pressed her lips to Dholit's mouth. Dholit was understandably taken off-guard, and Twali's jaw dropped open in shock. Leynne placed a hand over his eyes to reveal his frustration. Gilliam tried to avert his gaze while his face turned red. Link took a sudden interest in his boots.

Lwamm thrust her arms in between Dholit and Layna so that she could pry them apart. "Layna!" she hollered as Layna, confused, stumbled backwards. "Waba liyxomotak dhol!?"

"'Inu yamyizhiydak atiy'ab," Layna responded.

"Dhol!?" Lwamm snapped at her.

"Layna, waba nadsayizhudak atiy'ab 'immu ziyn," Dholit said, causing Lwamm and Twali to give her a pair of cross looks.

Layna's eyes widened with understanding. Link looked up just in time to find Layna suddenly push between Lwamm and Twali. He had only a split second to react, and it was not enough for him to prevent Layna from catching him by the jaw. She locked lips with him, and his struggle ceased immediately.

"What is going on!?" Leynne snapped while Gilliam turned to hide his laughter away.

Link felt Layna become much more forceful with the kiss and placed his hands on her shoulders to push her away. "Layna, what are you doing?!" Link said, although the haze his brain had to fight through made it hard to tell if he was just surprised or actually angry.

"What have you been telling heh?" Leynne asked Dholit.

"She has designs to become pregnant," Dholit answered, her voice casual as if she was talking to him about the weather. "I was meahly pointing out to hah that she might want My Captain to make hah pregnant instead of me."

Link's eyes widened. He watched with the others as Layna backed away from him. Her hands rested on her stomach, giving them a visual reference as her belly then began to expand. In just a few seconds, Layna's stomach had bulged out to about the same size as Dholit's. For comparison, Dholit stepped up next to her.

And she gave Link a wicked grin. "And the deed is done," she told Link. "Congratulations, My Captain. You ah now a fathah twice."

"I—I—I—I—I—…" Link stammered as he backed up a step, his mind overwhelmed.

"Dholit, ah you mad?!" Leynne snapped.

"Boy, did I pick a good time to show up," Gilliam said to himself.

Twali and Lwamm stepped around to look at Layna's stomach. Twali poked it while Lwamm then took a threatening step toward Link. "Maaaaay Kyaaaaabtin…" Lwamm growled at him, her eyes almost burning as she glared.

"I don't know what's going on!" Link cried out, raising his arms to protect his head.

"Lwamm!" Leynne called out. He moved in between her and Link and raised a hand to stop her. "Lwamm, it's fifty yeahs' bad luck to eviscerate youh commandeh." Lwamm's response was a hefty swing with her arm, simply mowing Leynne aside with little more than an "ohmph".

"Twali," Dholit said in a commanding voice, "nwayrotan zhadi."

"Ay'a," Twali replied. She turned to Lwamm just as Lwamm prepared to punch Link. Then she felt the need to quickly prod Layna's stomach once more, causing her to giggle and turn away.

Lwamm was just a moment from putting her fist through Link's face when Twali then dashed to her side. She grabbed Lwamm's head and turned the stronger girl toward her. This caused Lwamm to drop her fist due to disorientation. It also left her quite vulnerable, and Twali locked her lips to Lwamm's mouth in a spontaneous kiss. Link, peering through his arms, felt his face grow hot. Both Leynne and Gilliam slapped a hand over their eyes in embarrassment. Dholit crossed her arms with a beam of pride on her face.

Lwamm pushed Twali away. "Twali!" she snapped.

Twali, an embarrassed smile on her face, stepped back and said, "'Inbathifak."

Lwamm's expression changed to horror as she looked down and pulled up her shirt. Her belly expanded until it was the same size as Dholit's and Layna's. She looked up to watch Twali's belly do the same thing.

"Oh, joy!" Dholit declared. "Now we have fouh pregnancies."

"This isn't a good thing!" Gilliam shouted at her.

Dholit shrugged. "A mattah of pahspective." She clapped her hands together and put on a happy smile. "Let us find moah! Shall we see what the lovely Princess Zelda looks like pregnant with My Captain's baby?"

"LINK!"

Link jerked awake and rolled onto his side. He had to take a moment to clear his mind and establish that he was in his cabin. He found that he could not remember the dream he had just awoken from; the best that he could remember was that it was weird.

He belched and tasted something raunchy in the base of his throat. "Eugh," he groaned to himself. "What the hell did I eat last night?" As his eyes wandered the room in an attempt to figure out what time it was, he realized that there was a glowing form sitting, arms crossed, on the edge of his desk. He completely overlooked the angry glare on her face as he greeted her, "Oh. Hey, Zelda."

…

Tale #10 of the Island Symphony – END

NOTICE: This is entirely canon. This is also why Zelda no longer pokes around Link's dreams. And hated his guts for an entire month.