Thank you to those of you who commented on the last chapter, and thank you also to the two of you who left reviews this week. Without you there probably wouldn't have been an update today. I hope you've all been well, and I hope you like the new update!

Regina opened her eyes after waking from one of the most restful naps she had experienced in some time. Her eyes searched for familiar faces, and she found Emma in the chair next to her, gazing admiringly back at her.

Regina breathed a small, self-conscious laugh. "Have you just been sitting there staring at me this whole time?" She asked softly.

"Sorry. Umm... yeah." Emma admitted with a soft blush as she straightened up in her chair, apparently not having realized she was still doing it.

"Why?" Regina asked with a gentle look in her eyes. "Am I so interesting?"

"I just like knowing that you're okay." Emma replied.

Regina reached for Emma's hand, giving it an appreciatory squeeze. "You should go home. You don't have to stay here with me the whole time, I'll be fine."

"Home?" Emma asked as if this was a confusing concept.

"You've been here all night. Why don't you take Henry and go to the apartment for a few hours; freshen up, spend a bit of time away from this hospital? I'm sure Henry's getting bored."

"I don't think he minds being here as long as it means being close to you," Emma responded as she turned and looked back at the ten year old. He was curled up on the recliner with ear buds in, looking through a comic book but clearly not really reading it.

Regina felt her heart warm at that, she gazed fondly passed Emma at their son. "Well that may be true... but Emma..." Regina's expression turned falsely serious, "you're starting to smell." Her eyes bore into Emma's with a teasing look in her eyes.

"What? I am not!" Emma defended with a laugh.

"No, you're not." Regina agreed, closing her eyes with a smile. "But I do know that you've been thinking about a shower all day. And besides you could use the time to get settled in and unpack... it's probably not the safest to leave everything in the car in the middle of the city."

"A hot shower does sound pretty great..."

"Go," Regina insisted gently. "I'll be fine here."

Emma bit her lip. "I don't know... I think it will be hard letting you out of my sight for that long after what happened."

"I know what you mean." Regina agreed, her expression clouding a little. "But I promise I will be fine on my own for a little while. I feel safe here."

"You sure?"

Regina nodded. "You don't need to worry."

Emma glanced at Henry again. "Okay. We won't be long I promise."

"Take as much time as you need. I think I'll just go back to sleep anyways."

Emma nodded. She leaned in about to hug Regina, but just as she had done that Regina had closed her eyes, causing Emma to hesitate. Regina obviously hadn't noticed what Emma was about to do and now Emma didn't know how to proceed. She ultimately changed her mind and so rather than giving Regina an awkward one-sided hug, Emma instead pressed a soft kiss to the other woman's forehead.

"See you soon," Emma whispered.

Regina's eyes blinked open again in a surprised twinkle, and she gazed up at Emma as the blonde pulled back. Regina gave a gentle smile that made Emma's heart pound. Emma quickly moved back a few steps hoping that Regina would not be able to hear the drumming inside her chest.

"See you," Regina replied softly, closing her eyes again.

Henry and Emma had been back at the apartment for a couple of hours now. They had not quite finished unpacking but everything had been carted up to the apartment in one determined trip. They had both showered and changed clothes, and in Emma's words were, 'feeling human again'. Emma hadn't realized how tired Henry still was until she had gone into his room about an hour previously to see if he wanted to go grab a quick dinner before heading back to the hospital, and found him asleep on top of the blankets.

While he had been napping quite a bit at the hospital Emma knew he wasn't getting a full night's rest and hadn't been for several days now. He was still young and sleep was far more crucial for him than it was for her. While she wanted more than anything to go back to the hospital, she knew she should give him a little bit more time, especially if they were going to be spending the night in Regina's hospital room. Emma put a blanket over him and returned to the living room and kitchen area, a little unsure of what to do with herself. She had already decided to give him an hour more when the phone rang. She answered on the first ring, and was out the door within a minute of receiving the call after scrawling a quick note to Henry telling him she would come back for him within the hour.

'Regina is asking for you', was all she had needed to hear.

Emma was at the hospital in record time, having known the best route to take to avoid the more heavily trafficked roads. A part of her felt bad for leaving Henry behind, but another more instinctive part was urging her that Regina needed to talk about something which she had been holding back due to their son's ever constant presence.

Emma could see the redness around Regina's eyes as soon as she had entered the room, and she also noted the way Regina's tense features seemed to relax as soon as she saw that Emma had arrived. The notion comforted Emma as she approached the bedside.

"Hey," Emma greeted gently, coming to sit next to Regina on the bed. "I got here as fast as I could. What's wrong?"

Regina's brow creased in worry. "Where's Henry?" She asked, sitting up a little straighter.

"He's back at the apartment; he fell asleep. Don't worry I left him a note, I'll go back for him soon and in the meantime there are plenty of snacks in the cupboard if he gets hungry. He'll be alright. He really needs a good sleep. He was out cold when I left."

Regina nodded, but she looked quite bothered and Emma knew it wasn't just because of Henry. "I'm sorry I had them call you, I know I told you I would be okay... but I guess I wasn't."

"It's okay." Emma said gently. "What happened? I thought you felt safe here."

"I do," Regina whispered. "It's not the hospital."

"Then what is it?"

Regina gave a tiny sigh. She seemed to be blinking a little too quickly. Emma inched a little closer, hoping to convey to Regina that this was a safe space. Regina reached a hand out for Emma, who took Regina's in the both of hers. Regina's fingers felt a little dry, but her skin was warm and her grasp was quite firm.

"I think being on my own... I didn't sleep like I thought I was going to. There was no distraction and clearly it just gave me too much time to think." Regina began quietly, she took in a shaky breath. "I know I shouldn't say that, I mean there is no way you can stay with me every second of every day..."

"Hey it's alright. I kind of want to be here every second of every day." Emma gave a small grin. "What's going on?"

Regina bit her lip, looking up at Emma. "I've been trying not to but I just keep thinking about them... I can't help it." She whispered, blinking back tears.

"Thinking about–?"

"Sidney... and Whale." Regina admitted softly. "What they said to me... what they did to me... what they wanted and tried to do me." She shook her head. "I can't get the memory to go away, the feeling to go away..."

"What feeling?" Emma asked. She was calm on the outside but she found herself almost fearful of the answer.

"The feeling of them all over me. Touching me... grabbing me..." Regina closed her eyes.

"You said Sidney didn't hurt you?" Emma asked in a hushed voice, feeling a chill run through her. "You said it was just Whale."

"Sidney didn't... it's complicated. He didn't–" Regina gave a grievous sigh, Emma could tell this was difficult for her. "He didn't beat me like Whale did... he didn't..." Regina spoke slowly. She once again shook her head slightly, closing her eyes in disgust. Unwillingly she thought of the way his hands had roamed her body, feeling everything they had always wanted to. He had not technically been hurting her, but it had nearly been just as bad as being kicked close to death by Whale. She remembered the way Sidney had pulled her body close to his, kissing her, forcing her to kiss him. "He didn't try to rape me like Whale did. Though he came close. I thought for sure he was going to do it but in the end he realized it wasn't what he wanted. He said he has always wanted to be with me, but... but he wanted the feeling to be mutual." Regina's eyes saddened. "He told me he loved me..." She sniffled, feeling a tear roll down her face.

"He did?" Emma whispered, her heart was beating fast. There was still so much Regina hadn't told her about what had happened and she had not wanted to push her.

Regina gave a small nod. "As furious as I am with him for helping Whale and for what he nearly did, a part of me feels sorry for him."

"Why?" Emma asked softly.

"Because a part of me understands. Being so completely in love with someone who doesn't love you back... it's the worst feeling imaginable." Even though her voice was very quiet, Regina's tone raised emotionally.

Emma's expression changed. She felt her heart break at the sorrow behind such words. "Who did you love?" She practically whispered, she had been taken completely by surprise. "I had no idea there was ever anyone besides Daniel."

Regina's eyes raised to meet Emma's again, they were full of pain as she held her gaze for those few moments. Emma felt as though Regina were looking deep into her soul. "No one." She finally mumbled, closing her eyes and allowing a few tears to escape. "It just... It's... It just reminded me of how it felt when Henry didn't love me... Or rather, when I thought he didn't love me. It feels like your heart is being torn apart from the inside, and when you're with them... it's nearly just as painful as being apart because then you can see the truth."

From the way Regina had been searching for an answer Emma didn't feel like Henry was the answer Regina had truly wanted to respond with. "The truth?" Emma asked.

"That they don't love you back."

"Regina..." Emma whispered, feeling a tear roll down her face.

Regina buried her face in her hands and Emma heard a quiet, heartbreaking sob.

"I just wish I could forget it all Emma." Regina's voice trembled, and Emma sensed the topic reverting. "I have never, never felt as afraid as I was back in that house. I have never felt so overwhelmingly powerless... so vulnerable. I was drugged, I could barely move, I could barely even think... But that shouldn't be an excuse... I was just lying there Emma, letting Whale do whatever he wanted, letting Sidney run his hands all over me. It was disgusting, I felt disgusting."

"Regina you said it yourself you were drugged. And you were already so weak because of your illness. Regina you didn't just let them do anything. I know you tried to fight him. I saw the bruises on Whale myself."

Regina shook her head, she didn't look convinced, she just looked so disappointed in herself.

"Regina... they drugged you so that you wouldn't be able to fight back, that was the whole point. You couldn't have stopped them on your own. When I got to you, you could barely even move. You were barely even conscious."

"Emma why did all of this happen?" Regina whispered, searching the other woman's eyes desperately.

Emma gave a heavy sigh, feeling suddenly defeated. Regina was searching for answers and for a guidance Emma couldn't really provide. She wished Regina could stop thinking about it. It was tormenting her so strongly and she just needed to rest. "Because life loves to throw shit at us at the worst possible times..." Emma replied unhelpfully. She didn't know what else to say.

Regina frowned, folding her arms around herself. "I think it's because maybe I deserved what happened to me after all." She said in a small voice.

Emma's eyes widened, horrified at what she had just heard. "Regina you did not deserve this! Why would you even say that?" She asked in a hushed voice.

"Because Emma, the Evil Queen..." Regina shook her head. "That was never the type of person I wanted to be." She said in a quiet, strangled voice. "But it is what I became. And anyone who has done as many horrible things as I have... they deserve this kind of fate don't they?" She asked in a resigned tone.

"Regina I don't care what you've done in your past, no one deserves to have something like this happen to them okay? No one. This wasn't the universe giving you your penance Regina, this was a group of sadists who just used your past as an excuse to hurt you. If all they wanted was to punish you for casting the curse they could have locked you up. This was something else entirely."

Regina didn't respond to that as she wrapped her arms more tightly around herself.

Emma was shaking her head now. "Maybe good and evil is just a perception we give ourselves, because Regina you are not evil, and Mother Superior is certainly not good. Hurting someone this way... under the delusion that it's in the name of good is just wrong."

"But Emma you didn't know me before Storybrooke, all those things you read about me in Henry's book, most of them are true." Regina's voice quivered emotionally. "I wish I could take them back but... I'll never be able to undo the things I did. And you've seen the people back in Storybrooke, they still don't believe they'll ever be safe around me."

"But like you just said Regina you weren't always like that. You were the victim of an unfair social system and then you were punished for it. You were forced to marry a man twice your age!" Emma felt her stomach churn as she thought about what it must have been like for Regina, to marry some unfamiliar, far older man. This man was supposedly Emma's grandfather but she found that nearly impossible to comprehend. She shuddered at the thought of some old man visiting a younger Regina's bedroom whenever it took his fancy. Emma already knew that Regina had never liked her husband let alone loved him, and Emma found it hard to believe that any man who had a wife as beautiful as Regina within his grasp would be able to keep his hands off of her.

"You're sweet Emma, but I think we both know that I'm not so innocent. Victim or not, it doesn't condone for all the horrible things I've done."

Emma gave a heavy sigh. "Well I stand by what I said, you didn't deserve any of this. I just wish your life hadn't been so..." She trailed off, angry that Regina had to have gone through so much.

"I know," Regina agreed softly. "But if it hadn't..." She breathed a heavy sigh too. "Well, I wouldn't be here today with you and Henry. Like you said this morning, Henry would not have even been born, and I would never have had the opportunity to raise a child of my own."

Emma felt her heart warm a little at the change to a slightly happier tone. Regina was quiet for a few moments and Emma hoped she had stopped reliving in her mind everything that had happened during her disappearance. Emma's hopes were crushed however when she saw fresh tears in the brunette's eyes.

"What happened to Snow, back on Main Street... they may not have broken her arm but they did still hurt her," Regina's tear-filled eyes raised to meet Emma's again. "They hurt her because they thought she was me." She whispered.

"I know..." Emma replied softly, feeling a regretful twinge in her heart at the memory of what she had allowed to happen.

"What if it had been me?" Regina continued to whisper. "They wouldn't have stopped."

Emma bit her lip, Regina likely wasn't wrong.

"But it just proves... it's not just Whale or Blue or Gold... it's all of Storybrooke. The whole town wanted this. People can just do whatever they like with me and everyone just stands by and supports it. But the worst part is that it's nothing new. Ever since the day I was born... I've just been a pawn in everyone's game haven't I?"

"You aren't a pawn Regina, you are the Queen."

"The Queen that no one wanted." Regina responded grimly, causing Emma's eyes to fill with tears. "And now Storybrooke, the place that was supposed to be my fresh start... it's worse than ever. You have no idea what it's like to be so hated by everyone."

Emma's heart fell at the words. "I don't think the majority of Storybrooke supports what's happened to you. I think they were just too afraid to get involved." Emma replied softly, daring to change her position and wrap her arms around Regina, but being mindful of the medical tubes and wires attached to the other woman. "But what I do know for sure is that you aren't hated. Not nearly as much as you think you are. There are a lot of people who care about you and if I've learned anything it's that love is so much stronger than hate."

"Love." Regina whispered, closing her eyes and leaning into Emma.

"Yes, love. Never think you aren't loved Regina," Emma said, holding Regina closely but delicately as she pressed her lips to the top of her friend's head.