3rd POV

2 months ago

"Does she know that you ruined her life?" Nishio questioned with a scratchy voice. He filled his liquor glass with alcohol and slowly poured some of the bitter sweet liquid down his throat. Jerome did the same, pressing his lips together and sucking in a sharp breath. He didn't respond, and instead downed another glass of beer. "Y'know if she finds out, I don't really want to know what'll happen.

"I'd be royally screwed. That's what would happen." Jellal shut his eyes and drank more.

"But then again, maybe it would be better to just tell her." Natsu leaned back in his chair and ran his fingers through his hair. The music playing in the club vibrated the table lightly. "Ah man... he was a good guy, too." He dragged his hand over his face and sighed. "Why'd you do it?"

"It was three and a half years ago. Ask the me from then." Jellal pulled out a pack of cigarettes and placed one between his lips. He lit the end with a lighter and offered one to his partner. Natsu accepted and did the same.

"You really have no idea why you killed him?" Natsu looked over at him and took a puff out of his cigarette, the smoke rising into the air and slowly disappearing. He chuckled and asked for an ash tray from the bartender behind the counter. "That's fucking rich. You're full of it, Jellal." He rolled his eyes. Small amounts of smoke escaped from between their teeth.

"I don't know." Jellal spoke sternly.

"You sound like your trying to convince yourself. Not me. You know there are only two places on this planet where you could ever find out why you did in fact do it. Number one..." he took a the last sip of his drink and slammed the glass onto the table. "From the voice mail. And number two. Straight from the murderer himse-lf."

"That's enough." Jellal interrupted him. He pressed the butt of his half gone cigarette into the ash tray they were given.

"You're drunk Jellal. You have to break this fucking habit of drinking so much every mother fucking night."

"Oh please, Natsu. You're right here by my side, drinking along with me." Jellal's body began swaying due to the alcohol in his system. Natsu held him up with an arm and placed his face in between his fingers. "Damn it!! I hate it here!! I hate this feeling!!! It's been three and a half years...!!! I can't stand it!!!! When will it go away!?" Jellal shouted, rubbing his red face and closing his eyes.

"Hey hey!!! It's meeee!" Erza shouted. "Hey boss, I'll take him off your hands!! Okay?" Erza spoke, ignoring the fact that Natsu hadn't even looked her way. She threw Jellal's arm over her shoulder and made her way out. "I'll see you tomorrow!!" And simply with that, she was gone. Natsu put out his cigarette and squinted his eyes.

"That feeling will never go away. You'll have it for the rest of your life, you fool. It's going to be unbearable. Let's hope you don't make any rash decisions. Don't follow your sister's path."

~

"Y'know I didn't say so but I'm actually pretty tipsy myself!" Erza fumbled, tripping on her own heels and continuing to hoist Jellal's body over her shoulder. "Man you're heavy! It's either all muscle or all fat...! Ummmm~ I'm sure it's muscle! After all, look at you!" She shouted, shutting his door once she entered his apartment. She threw him on his bed and flopped down beside him.

"What about me... could you like?" Jellal asked her, turning on his side to face her. Erza dazed, her eyes fell to his lips.

"Who says I like you? Yyyyou're delusional." She fumbled.

"Then what's your type?"

"Mmmm-... tall, kind, strong, smart. That's all."

"Really? That's not bad at all." Jellal placed a hand on the side of her head and sighed. "Where does your standard come from?" Erza sighed and giggled.

"A long time ago..." she sighed in remembrance. "I fell in love with a man. He died... Ever since then, I haven't dated anyone. But I have my eye on someone..." her eyes met with his again. "And I noticed that they had similar traits, so I think I kinda just took a guess-..." Erza paused when tears poured down the side of her face. "Ah. Sorry."

"It's alright." Jellal responded, looking away. Erza scooted closer to him and placed her head next to his. "I kinda understand. My sister passed away a while back as well."

"Man it sucks." She let out a light sob, tears freely flowed down her cheek.

"It sure does. I hadn't known the feeling of never being able to see someone ever again." Erza looked up and saw his face embedded with pain and held back tears. The two stared at eachother and their eyes softened. Erza lifted herself and straddled his hips, staring down into his eyes as she felt the firm grasp of his hands on her waist. Jellal felt a flood of emotions rush up to his heart. A single tear poured down his left temple and fell onto his sheets. Erza's hair fell to the side. She leaned in and their lips connected.

The feeling of wanting so badly to express yourself to someone who has gone through what you have. The overwhelming urge to replace the undeniable sorrow that overcomes you with something more. Something that will last. Wanting the saturating thoughts of misery to disappear in an instant. To physically convey your emotions.

Erza thought, tying up her hair and leaning into another long kiss. With each part and return, their shares of warmth became more passionate. Within simple heated minutes, Jellal had removed her top and undressed her almost entirely. He stared at her seemingly perfect figure, his desire for more growing. He sat up straight and pulled her down to his bed, sitting on top of her as he stripped.

These needs and desires can completely bury you so much to the point that you won't know what to do. You'll want more. Something to replace the sadness that was shoved into every fiber of your being. Even after it all, you'll remember that emptiness cannot be filled. And the cycle repeats itself over and over again until you're fucking sick of it.

Jellal thought, placing his mouth against her jaw and neck. He trailed kisses down her body and gave her a hug. A simple hug. Not thinking of anything but the fleeting, overwhelming delight that temporarily patched the hole in his heart. The delight that she brought him. He clenched his jaw, not wanting it to ever end. Erza shivered and arched her back, pushing herself farther into his chest. Jellal wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled away the last of her underwear. And with that, the two spent a heated night in eachothers arms.

"Just kill him already, Jesus, Jerome." Bethel complained, picking at her nails as Jerome finished his interrogation on their new male victim.

"He's all yours." He stated, walking away and sitting on the floor a ways away from his partner and victim. Bethel stared at him and scoffed, turning back to their shaking victim and giving him a look of sarcastic sympathy. She pulled out her sword and made her way to stand behind the victim. She placed the blade to his neck and slowly ran it down his skin. The man tugged at the tightening ties around his red wrists and began lightly sobbing.

"How could you... do such a thing to my daughter!!??" The man shook, staring at Jellal. Jerome looked up and opened his mouth to speak. But he didn't say a word. He stood up and walked towards him. Bethel pressed her blade a bit harder into Warron's neck.

"Did you really think..." Jerome began. "Your daughter wasn't going to strip clubs and night clubs every day behind you back? Don't act like you cared about her." Jerome placed a hand on Bethel's blade and dug it into his skin even farther. Warron scowled as blood began to well beneath the edge, dripping down his neck and shirt. "Everyone knows you only wanted her for the attention. Such a beautiful girl got you so much money and popularity!" Jerome grinned sarcastically. "Was it fun? Using your own daughter for wealth and fame?" Warron shut his eyes and allowed a few drops of salty tears to stream down his cheek. Jerome stepped back and watched closely as Bethel ran her blade straight across their victims neck. Blood spewed from his neck, some fell on Jellal's shirt.

"Great." Erza rolled her eyes and handed him a towel. Jellal remained silent and wiped a bit off of his face. "Go take it off. I'll bring you a new shirt." Bethel wiped her blade clean and packed it away. She walked away to grab spare clothes for her partner. Once she was out of view, Jellal looked down and glared. He aggressively threw his towel to the floor and clenched his fists.

~

Erza stared at Jellal's shirt in her hands and noticed a scent. She lightly placed it to her nose and whiffed the musky scent of her partner. The very moment she realized the smell of cologne and body heat, she shoved the shirt away from her nose and flushed.

What am I doing? No, no, no. Not good.

Erza shook her head and walked back to where Jellal was waiting for her. The very second she entered the empty room, her eyes landed on the toned skin and muscles of Jellal's back. He turned around and the two paused, staring at eachother. After a moment of silence, Erza shoved the shirt into his chest and walked passed him.

"Get dressed." She told him, picking up her bag and stuffing her sword away. Jellal slipped on his shirt and watched as Erza stood and sighed out into the empty space around them. "What?" She asked, not turning around. "Why are you staring at me." She slowly spun around and stared at him. Jellal did not respond and instead continued his daze. "Hellooo? Earth to Jerome?" Erza was met with silence once more, causing a feeling of frustration and anger to pool in her chest. "Are you going to answer!?" She raised her voice and stepped forward, dropping her heavy bag.

"What do you mean? How am I supposed to answer?" Jellal spoke calmly.

"You were the one who told me no!! Stop confusing me!!" Jellal looked down and clenched his fists.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"What do you mean 'sorry'!? Why are you regretting it now!!??"

"I'm not regretting my decisions. I don't do that. I never have and I never will-"

"Liar!! You told me!! You told me you regretted something. And you still won't tell me what the fuck it was!!!"

Two Months Ago

Jellal collapsed on top of Erza, breathing heavily as her body broke out into spasms and twitches. Erza's jaw dropped, her eyes rolled back and her back arched. She let out small squeaky breaths. Jellal locked their fingers and squeezed her hand tightly. His mouth glued to her shoulder as his body tensed and relaxed over and over again. Erza's arms frantically searched around until hey finally gripped Jellal's back. He fell down onto his bed beside her and pulled her now weak body into his chest.

"Erza..." he whispered. Erza placed her hands on his chest, her legs finally shaking after their last round.

"You're probably very tired, I'm sorry. Go to sleep." Erza interrupted, feeling his exhaustion from the tone of his voice.

"It's not your fault." He said, lifting her leg in between his. "It wasn't your fault." Erza looked up at him and raised an eyebrow.

"Huh?"

"I'm sorry. I regret it so much. I want to go back in time and pick something else. I was trying to protect you but instead I hurt you. I'm so sorry."

"You regret what?" Erza asked, staring at his shut eyes. The only answer she received was his even breathing, meaning he had fallen asleep.

"So!!??" She yelled, taking another step. Jellal stood firm, ready to face his partner. "If you aren't lying, does that mean you don't regret sleeping with me!!!???" Jellal turned his head towards her and stumbled.

"What?"

"Do you..." Erza began, feeling tears prick at her eyes. "Do you regret it? That night two months ago. Was it bad? Did you hate it? Was I... too easy?" Jellal's eyes widened the moment she spoke. He was tempted to speak, but chose otherwise.

It's so painful to love someone. But not be able to have them. It's so difficult to not get what you want. Because it only strengthens your desire for that thing. Because we want what we can't have so badly. Purely out of curiosity.

He stepped towards her, guilt filling every fiber of his being.

"You're wrong." He said, pulling her into a hug. "You're so wrong."

~

Erza ran her fingers through her hair, a thick red blush coating her upper cheeks. Jellal looked at her and downed a shot of tequila. The two sat on Jellal's couch, drinking as much as they could stomach. "How about this." He spoke, the liquor in his system finally getting to him. "You tell me everything you want about your ex. And I'll tell you everything about my sister." Erza slammed her glass onto his coffee table and fell back into the cushions.

"Well..." She squinted, feeling as her eyes became heavy with nostalgia. "The love of my life was named Invel. He was tall, kind, handsome and overall amazing. Although he wasn't perfectly my type, I loved it so much when he would come home after a hard day at work and kiss me like any other time. I loved the fact that even though I preferred mutual sides in sex, whenever he was around me, I'd always want to make him happy. I'd be the one on bottom. Even if he wasn't my first, he was one of my best. I loved how he treated me so kindly. Even if he was sick, on the mornings of my period, he would get up early to make me soup. And oh god I was so in love." She grunted, knowing he didn't want to learn of her sex life with another man. "Towards our last few months together, he changed. He wasn't kind, he would sometimes force me into bed, he wouldn't come home for days at a time. And one day, he simply stopped coming back. I looked around and while in town, I saw the news had said he was killed. But they couldn't find the culprit. And so I was left alone, confused and utterly hurt. I still plan to bring the killer to justice, but... for the past three or so years I haven't found a single lead. Nothing." She grinded her teeth and poured herself another glass. "It's so god damn frustrating. And it hurts so badly. I literally don't know what to do." She turned to her partner and sighed. "What's worse, I fell completely head over fucking heels for my psycho path, torturer co-worker. Then I had sex with him. Then he rejected me. One time I even hoped to be this one victim he harassed. Only because he wouldn't give me what he gave her at that very moment. It doesn't end there. He was exactly. Perfectly my type. It hurt so bad. It was the first time I cried myself to sleep since my ex died. He was also the one who took my virginity. So there's that." She stared at him, waiting to see if he would give a response. He didn't. Jellal groggily lifted his shot glass to his lips and poured the strong liquid into his mouth. He swallowed and wiped his red mouth with his wrist.

"I didn't know. I'm sorry, Erza." He spoke rubbing his face. "It's just so difficult for me... because I know without a single doubt in my mind that you will regret it. I don't want you to hate me. And god damn it-! I'm so scared!!" He yelled, covering his face for a moment. Dropping his hands abruptly, he chuckled sadly. The bags under his eyes almost noticeably grew.

"If you're afraid of me regretting my feelings for you, then fuck you."

"Huh?" He questioned, tiredly looking over to her and lifting an eyebrow.

"You have no right to just assume the way I'll feel. Even if I regret it in the end, it's better than this. You changed me. Ever since you, I've realized my worth, I've put others before myself regardless, I've actually wanted to be fucked until I shook. I've wanted to be sub. I've wanted to get married and have kids. None of these things have happened in the past. You are the only one who has ever made me feel this way." Jellal's gaze softened. With his body unnoticeably leaning towards hers, his guard began falling.

"Is that your final decision?" His mouth spoke without telling him. Erza's eyes trailed down to his lips. And she gave him her answer.

"I don't give a shit less about what the future me has to feel. I do what I want to do in the moment and think about it later. Regrets, consequences or otherwise." Not a second later did Jellal push himself forward and smash his lips against hers. Erza responded without hesitation and placed her hands on his cheeks to bring him in closer. As their lips separated and connected, their tongues remained dancing calmly together. "Closer." Erza demanded. Jellal obeyed with a grab of her back and an aggressive tug into his chest. His hands roamed the small of her waist and his mouth began travelling further down. "Closer." She repeated. Jellal lightly caressed the skin of her stomach before moving his hand up to her ponytail and yanking it down. Her head swung back and her jaw slightly dropped.

"Don't tell me what to do." Jellal said sternly. Placing his large, boney hand on her thigh, he pulled her legs around his. Erza's groin dug into Jellal's knuckle and she groaned. Jellal ran his finger tips underneath her shirt, pulling it off and

away from her body.

"Wait." Erza said. He immediately paused and looked up. "You didn't tell me about your sister." Jellal rolled his eyes and leaned back down.

"Shut up." He stared at her chest in admiration and slipped out one of her breasts. His mouth latched onto the hardened nub, his tongue traced figures around the now irritated nipple. He suddenly stood and lifted her, carrying her by the thickness of her upper leg and thigh. Once he arrived at his bedroom, he shut the door and shoved her onto the bed, spreading her legs. He climbed between the two limbs, slowly running his hands underneath her legs to her knees. He lifted them even higher, connecting their lips and firmly squeezing her breast. "Don't think of him." He said with a low, husky voice.

"Ha... what?" She questioned in response, suddenly gaining the unbearable desire to have him inside of her. But he was in control. And she had to wait. The next best thing was grinding. She did just that, pushing against his hardened length. Jellal groaned, forcefully removing her bra and skirt.

"Don't think of him. Not now." He told her, flinging her clothes elsewhere.