A/N: Hello everyone, I am so sorry for disappearing. I can't believe it's been two months since I've posted anything and three months since I've posted any OUAT. Thank you to everyone who commented on the last chapter. Please know that I read and re-read every one and appreciated all of your reviews! Thank you for sticking with this story, it means the world to me xx
"Are you absolutely sure you don't have any blood relatives back in Storybrooke?" Emma asked from where she was standing in the ICU room. She turned around to look at Regina, who was upright but was resting back against her pillows as she watched Henry sleep beside her. Regina's eyes drifted to Emma's before the brunette gave a tired sigh.
"Since you asked me twenty minutes ago? Yes of course I'm sure." Regina closed her eyes, growing annoyed. "And even if I somehow did miraculously find a distant relative, they would probably turn out to hate me along with the rest of town."
"Regina..."
"The only other family I have in Storybrooke are Henry, Snow and David... all of whom are blood relatives of yours."
Emma huffed, folding her arms as she glanced down at Henry. "Well..." she muttered, not exactly sure how to proceed with what she wanted to say. After a moment's deliberation, she decided to just dive in head first. "I've been thinking about it and... why don't I take the tests?" She asked, trying to sound casual. "You know... to see if I'm a match."
Regina looked up at her, a little stunned.
"Remember what Montgomery said? Your donor doesn't necessarily have to be a blood relative if we can find someone with a blood type that's compatible with yours."
Regina's eyes softened but she looked a little distant, and perhaps a little sad. "Emma..."
With just those two syllables, Emma knew what the other woman's answer would be without the words ever being spoken. Her heart sank. "Please Regina." Emma said as she sat down in front of her.
"Thank you Emma," Regina said sincerely, "but I can't ask you to do that."
"You didn't ask, I offered."
Regina shook her head gently, looking away. "What I mean is I don't want you to do that."
"Why not?" Emma was a little hurt.
"Because... I don't want you putting any more of yourself at risk for me. It's out of the question." Regina replied in a quiet, but firm voice as she dropped her gaze away from Emma's to watch Henry again.
"Why? And what risk? It's not like I'm giving you my–" Emma stopped herself. She had been about to say heart, but then thought about the stigma around Regina and heart-ripping. She didn't want to risk accidentally stirring up bad feelings. "My..." She stammered, "well I don't know what, but people do this all the time!"
"Giving someone else one of their internal organs?" Regina gave a her look that said, I think not.
"This isn't the Enchanted Forest Regina. Medicine is way more advanced here; they could do this transplant and we would both be fine. Seriously, I want to help you if I can."
Regina frowned, looking uncertain.
"Unless you're planning on being hooked up to a machine for the next god-knows how long until they get to your name on the donor list... If I turn out to be a match for you this could be the only way to get a transplant this year. Who else do we know? No one. David and Mary Margaret would probably want to get tested if they could, but we have no way of getting them out of Storybrooke and likely no way of getting them tested in Storybrooke."
"Emma..." Regina replied in soft voice. "Truly, I can't tell you how much this means to me, but it's as I told Henry... your life is just as important as mine, and I don't want anyone risking their health for me."
"Regina I could live off of one kidney no problem. Millions of other people do it, why not me? I'm young, I'm strong." Emma argued amiably.
"And I want you to retain your youthful strength." Regina retorted. Emma couldn't entirely tell if Regina was just being sassy or if she was serious.
Emma sighed grimly. "If I had never brought Henry here to live with me, you never would have gotten sick in the first place. And just knowing what could have happened that morning if Henry hadn't been trying to call you... knowing that you would have died feeling so alone... Regina I know a lot of what happened was on me and I'll never be able to forgive myself for it, even though somehow you already have." She ended quietly.
"Because it was never your fault..." Regina mumbled. "But let me guess... this is your chance to make it up to me?" She asked softly. "Emma... you've used that line before. And if I were to pretend for a second that you ever did owe me anything, well then you've more then made it up to me by now. If it weren't for you I know I would have been dead the moment that curse broke. You didn't sleep for days, you put yourself in danger trying to stop town from hurting me, and you've risked your life every day by staying by my side. If anything I owe you."
Emma bit her lip, looking away from Regina. She was silent for a few moments as she contemplated. "Seeing you finally starting to feel better has been reward enough for me." She finally said. "Please, I want to know if the answer has been staring us in the face this whole time. And what you said is wrong... I don't want to take the test because I feel I owe anything to you... I want to take the test because I want you to get better."
"Emma," Regina whispered, shaking her head again as she looked away.
"I've given this a lot of thought. Trust me I wouldn't go giving my internal organs to just anyone." Emma said softly, flashing a small grin. "I told you before that you were special to me and I meant it. If we turn out to be a match, I want you to have my kidney. My spare." Emma used a word she'd heard the doctor say, trying to emphasize the fact that she could function absolutely fine with just one. "Please. Let me do this for you. I–" She faltered, she could feel the emotions welling up inside her and no, she did not want to cry. "I don't want to lose you."
Regina opened her mouth as if she wanted to say something but closed it again. She blinked back the tears in her eyes but just as quickly, more replaced them. A few escaped her lashes and began to trail down her face. "You won't..." She whispered.
"But what if they never get to you on the wait list?" Emma argued in a hushed voice.
Regina was quiet for a time. She busied herself with brushing her fingers gently through Henry's hair to avoid speaking. Finally she said, "Emma I don't know what to say."
"Say yes." Emma's eyes pleaded.
Regina wiped a tear away with her finger. Her head was shaking softly. She looked a little lost when her eyes met Emma's again. "I can't." She whispered.
"Wha–" Emma's eyes were round in devastation. "But why?"
"Because I don't want to lose you either."
One Week Later
Emma's thoughts were running wild as she looked out over the city from where she stood at the window in Regina's new hospital room. Regina had been transferred from the ICU into a normal, private room a few days prior, and she was now receiving periodical dialysis treatments instead of the consistent hemofiltration. Emma had been ecstatic when she'd seen a sofa the first time she had entered the room, and it had proven itself surprisingly comfortable for napping on. That sofa was presently occupied by Henry, who had headphones on and was watching a movie on Emma's phone.
The view of the trees from the ICU room had been peaceful, but it was incomparable to this new scene which overlooked much of Boston. Regina's room was on one of the higher floors and at night the lights from the city were stunning.
"You should get him to put that on hold if you want to get back to the apartment at a reasonable hour." Regina's voice said to Emma's back.
So far since coming to Boston, Emma and Henry had only spent one night at the apartment and that had been two nights ago. The rest of the time they had stayed with Regina. After noticing Emma stretching and rubbing at sore muscles on more than one occasion, Regina had suggested they start trying to sleep at the apartment. At least every other night. She still found it comforting when they stayed with her overnight, but she was growing more used to the hospital now. Furthermore, that underlying fear that someone from Storybrooke was going to show up spouting ill intentions was beginning to fade.
"Hm?" Emma replied, distracted. She turned to meet Regina's gaze before her eyes dropped down to Henry. "Oh... yeah maybe. Or maybe I could just ask the nurses to set up a rollaway in the family room again..."
Regina studied the blonde for a beat. "Emma what is it? You seem preoccupied."
Emma shook her head a little. "No I'm fine." She mumbled, turning to look out the window again.
"Emma..."
"Sorry I'm just... pondering the future..."
"The future?" Regina asked curiously.
"Well the near future I guess... like the next few years. What are we going to do?"
"What do you mean?"
Emma breathed a heavy sigh, spinning back around. "You can't really want to go back to Storybrooke Regina." She said, touching on something Regina had been mentioning over the past few days.
Regina was quiet for a few moments. "I've told you... my whole life is there Emma. And so is Henry's, and yours."
"Yeah but–"
"You and I both have jobs, Henry has school, there's the house..." Regina listed off. "I can't just leave it to sit and turn into an old ruin... and your parents are there too. Don't you miss them?"
"Well yeah of course I miss them but Regina... you need to attend dialysis treatments here like three times a week. That's a hell of a lot of driving."
"There are hospitals closer to town than this one. I could switch."
"But you like it here... they know you here and they know what medications you've been taking... they have been monitoring your progress. Wouldn't it make the most sense to just stay where the doctors are familiar with your case? When you're discharged we have the apartment here. Travelling between here and the apartment will be a lot closer than commuting from Storybrooke to any hospital outside of town. And not to mention... Storybrooke... it's not exactly the safest place. Remember how we were all nearly killed trying to get you out the first time?" She argued, knowing full well that Regina did not need reminding.
"David and Mary Margaret said things were calming down didn't they?"
"But that could simply be because people have no way of getting to you here. Why would they always need to be arming themselves and putting your house under surveillance if there is no one home to surveil."
"Surveil isn't a word Emma."
"Don't change the subject."
Regina pressed her lips together. "What else are we supposed to do?" She snapped. "We're looking at years Emma. Years of me needing treatments. Who is going to run Storybrooke? When is Henry going to complete his education?"
"He can go to school here can't he? I'm sure we can get him his spot back at that school he was registered with before. There are other schools here too if that doesn't work out."
"There are only just over two months left of the school year... And he's already missed so much to begin with. I think he should at least finish the year at Storybrooke Elementary or he could risk losing the entire year."
"Regina..." Emma shook her head, at a loss. "I can't take you back there. It's not safe for you. And we're not sending him back on his own. Even if my parents looked after him I'm sure he'd be on the first Greyhound back to Boston as soon as they left him alone for five minutes."
Regina breathed a heavy sigh, glancing towards Henry, who clearly couldn't hear them through the over-the-ear headphones. "It's my home though. It's our home. I don't want to stay away for years to come."
"Then wouldn't it be better if I took the test for the transplant?" Emma asked. "Come on Regina it's just the test for crying out loud! Shit, it's not even the surgery we're talking about at this point."
Regina shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself. "No Emma it wouldn't be better." She replied in a small voice.
"Why not?"
"Because Emma, I'm not taking a vital organ from you when there is still a chance I could get better without it. There is magic in Storybrooke, and now that I've regained some of my strength maybe by the time I get out of the hospital I'll be strong enough to tap into my own powers again. If I could heal myself using my magic... I would be even healthier than I would be if I did take your kidney. I did a lot of damage taking those damned pills. A new kidney would certainly help but it wouldn't be able to fix everything right? And I don't want you undergoing a serious operation when it could turn out to be completely unnecessary."
"Regina... what happens if we go back and your magic still hasn't returned? If we get trapped there again..." Emma shook her head, not wanting to think about it. "Regina I don't need to remind you what happened the last time. If we go back and it turns out you can't heal yourself..."
"I know but–"
"You could die. You could be killed. Think of Henry, we can't put him through that again. If we went back and anything happened to you it would destroy him."
Regina sighed sadly, folding her arms around herself. "It will come back, I know it will. And then I will be able to protect myself and the both of you. Everyone else's magic returned. Blue... Gold... all the fairies...the only reason I wasn't able to use mine was because my condition was weakening me. That has to be the reason. You felt it yourself, I almost managed it once. Now that I'm stronger I know I will be able to do it."
"I am not signing your death warrant by taking you back there." Emma countered.
"Emma..."
"I will tell the nurses that you're planning to leave and never come back." Emma threatened, suddenly very serious.
"I– What?" Regina was confused.
Emma's expression lightened and her eyes twinkled. "And then they'll lock you up in the psych ward until there's an available kidney for you." She said in a proud, matter-of-fact tone.
Regina breathed a laugh, and gave the blonde an affectionate, understanding smile. "Emma, you know as well as I do that the hospital can't force treatment on anyone. They know it's within my right to deny the transplant."
Emma's shoulders sagged a little. "Regina seriously though, going back to Storybrooke right now is so dangerous. If we end up getting stuck there, after even just a few days your health could start to seriously fail again." ...If someone doesn't murder you first. Emma wanted to add, but didn't. "I don't think your body would be able to handle being starved of treatment for a second time."
"What am I supposed to do then?" Regina shrugged, blinking back a few tears. "Just put my entire life on hold?"
"No. We can start fresh here in Boston. I know my place isn't the biggest but we can make it work. If anything, we can try to find a three-bedroom somewhere if we know we'll be staying here long term and are finding the accommodations a little cramped. Maybe even a townhouse or something. I can get my old bail bonds job back, maybe look for something else later... we could home school Henry for the last few months of the semester too. I'm sure Mary Margaret would help us. He could still potentially finish the year with Storybrooke Elementary, just... you know, remotely."
Regina eyed Emma sideways. "I'm not certain either you or Henry have the attention span for home schooling."
"Well then luckily for Henry and I we have you, and I'm sure you would keep us in line."
"Emma he needs structure. I'm his mother, not a teacher."
"Who taught him to ride a bike? To read? To walk? Not to mention you're the smartest person I know. I'm sure with you and me both helping him he'll be fine." Emma praised. "Besides, the kid's a genius, he'll learn quickly."
"I don't know... school is so important. I don't want him to fall behind. I don't want be the reason he falls behind."
"Regina it's the fourth grade, not his senior year. He'll be fine." Emma repeated reassuringly.
"Does it matter what I think?" Henry's voice asked from the sofa.
Both of his mothers turned to look at him with almost identical little gasps, neither having noticed he had taken his headphones off.
"Mom," he turned to Regina. "I know what you're thinking even before you suggest it. You probably want me to go home during the week and come back here on the weekends so I can go to school right?" He didn't give Regina a chance to respond even as she shook her head once to the side. "It would be nice to be in Storybrooke to see Grandma and Grandpa, but I want to be here with you guys."
"Henry I wouldn't send you away." Regina responded, a little hurt.
"And you don't have to put your life on hold." He continued. "You barely went to work for weeks before we left Storybrooke and the town was fine. If I could do school from here, couldn't you continue to work from here too?"
"Actually if I remember correctly I think I was doing half of her work..." Emma muttered, thinking of the afternoons she'd spent with papers spread across the dining room table while Regina napped in the living room in her cocoon of blankets and cardigans.
"And Emma you have your other job here right? Gramps and Ruby have been stepping in at the Sheriff's Station haven't they? He's been telling us about it when we Skype..."
"Yeah but–" Emma tried to cut in.
"And remember Grandma said she's been helping out at the Town Hall. Mom," he turned to Regina again. "No one is taking your job right now. You can still be Mayor, and Grandma can help with anything that can't be done from here."
Regina sighed, looking away as she thought everything over. She thought of David and Mary Margaret, she thought of Kathryn, she thought of her house, her office... of walking along the harbor at sunset, of having ice cream with Henry at the park. She thought of how peaceful it had been before the curse had broken and how the town hadn't seemed to decay over time as some places did, but rather it seemed to constantly grow in charm and beauty.
"I know I just... to be honest Henry, I miss Storybrooke." She practically whispered. "The truth is... the truth is that I don't belong here. I don't belong in this world."
Henry shook his head but his other mom responded first.
"Yes you do." Emma replied softly. "City, forest or town, it doesn't matter. You belong wherever we are. And we belong wherever you are. Home is where your family is. And I'm not from this world either but I made a decent enough life for myself in Boston once before. Henry was born in this world... And this country, it was built on the foundation that this a place for people to come and be anything they want to be, and to pursue any dreams and aspirations they may have for themselves. That was the idea hundreds of years ago, why shouldn't that apply to you too? You don't need to stay in Storybrooke to belong in this world. Your birth certificate says you are American so that's what you are... Think of it kind of like dual citizenship."
"My fake birth certificate." Regina's hushed voice said emphatically as she looked to the door with a secretive, but lighthearted glint in her eye. "Created by curse magic."
"Hey, everyone's got to start somewhere." Emma raised her hands indifferently.
Regina appeared to be a little more at ease, but she still didn't seem convinced.
"Come on," Emma continued, "we have the whole world to explore outside of Storybrooke. That town will always be there, but for now I think it's kind of toxic. And Regina... you're freaking amazing. You're a great mayor and you can continue to do that for as long as you want–"
"Or for as long as I remain unopposed." Regina cut in.
Emma gave a half shrug, accepting the point. "–but," she added with feeling, "you could honestly do anything you set your mind to. Please. Don't ask me to take you back to Storybrooke now. I want you to get better... and maybe it is true that the magic there could help you... but I also want you to be safe. You're safe here. We don't have that same guarantee back in Storybrooke. You have amazing doctors who can help you here. Come on!" Emma exclaimed softly. "We didn't spend a month trying to get out, only to run back into the fire. Give it some more time Regina, okay?"
"Please?" Henry added. "I promise I'll do any work Grandma sends."
Regina gave a small smile and breathed a heavy, uncertain sigh. She was quiet as she thought about it for a few moments. "Nothing about this is easy..." She mumbled, pressing her lips together and closing her eyes as she thought about it some more. "Alright you win... Again. Once I'm discharged... I'll continue to attend the treatments here in Boston." She conceded in defeat. "I suppose Storybrooke doesn't want me there anyway do they?" She ended a little bitterly.
Emma suppressed a sigh. She hated when Regina said self-deprecating things like that. "It's not Storybrooke Regina... just a few stupid people. But all the same, I don't want them anywhere near you." She held back the 'ever again'.
Regina didn't respond, she only sunk a little deeper into her pillow and folded her arms around herself. Despite her words, Emma knew the brunette was still homesick, but now hopefully Regina wouldn't stay fixated on the idea that returning was the best choice of action. Regina's mind was so complicated that Emma sometimes found it frustrating trying to get through to her or understanding her reasoning, but at least now one of the new barricades was (hopefully) out of the way. Now Emma could focus on getting Regina to agree that it was a good idea for Emma to take the blood tests. Emma could hardly stand not knowing anymore and it was getting harder and harder to resist having the tests done without telling Regina. Regina was currently still too sick for a transplant, but that wouldn't always be the case, and if by some miracle Emma turned out to be a match for her, Emma would stop at nothing to get Regina to agree to the surgery.
...
A/N: Thank you for reading, please let me know what you think. Take care xx