Tales of the Island Symphony

by Light Onthemayo

With Cunimincus and his demonic crew gone, the search is on again for Irleen's home. The following stories have NOTHING to do with that search. This is a series featuring the crew of the Island Symphony at their looniest (mostly), detailing events that may or may not have happened during and after Sky Lines.

22. No Need For Another Wedding

NOTICE: This is canon. If you don't believe me, please reference chapter 3 of Dreamweaver's Shield.

…

Tale #22: No Need For Another Wedding

In the lull between jobs, Link generally liked to spend some time near either Skyrider Port or Castle Island whenever it was convenient. At Skyrider Port, now that he knew that Lady Leeta was his mother, he would spend an afternoon or two learning more about her family and whatever she might have known about Captain Alfonzo's lineage. By contrast, Castle Island was a means of getting away from his family, as Captain Alfonzo rarely interfered with the Island Symphony's regular functions while at any other port. As much as he respected and admired his father, Link often felt that he knew much more about being a captain than Alfonzo believed. Now having the captain hovering over Link's moves made Link wonder if he would be so hawkish if Link was not his son.

The cargo hauling jobs rarely ever took Link close enough to either island for a decent stay. One afternoon saw the Island Symphony tied up at Autumn Island. Being seven months since Cunimincus' attack, the island's skyline was still littered with cranes and skeletons of the buildings that had once been. A lot of time and resources had gone into rebuilding parts of the island. The port and much of the main road had either been spared or repaired first. Following that were businesses and some of the residential districts, assuming that the people who had once owned them had not made their homes on another island already. Before today, every sight of Autumn Island's battered landscape brought back memories of the fight between the Skyriders and Cunimincus' posse of insane creatures. Now, however, just like the island before him, his memories were beginning anew, fresh and full of hope for the future.

"It really has come a long way."

Link grinned. He turned his glance down the railing he was leaning on to find Princess Zelda, her pale form decorated in her favorite airman's clothes, perched on the rail with her feet dangling over the side of the quarterdeck. He took in a deep breath and answered, "It sure has."

"I shudder to think that this island could have ever looked worse," she told him.

"You aren't gonna let it get you depressed, are you?" Link asked, standing and pulling away from the rail.

"I try not to, Link," Zelda told him, her gaze still cast over the island. "Still… I wish that more could be done."

"Some more relief money might help," Link suggested. "Families have been begging on the streets and around the port. I, uh… I haven't been able to keep my pay whenever I come here."

Zelda turned to him as if to ask if he was being serious. Upon seeing the weak grin on his face, she allowed herself a small smile. "I may bring up the matter to my father," she said.

Link looked back down at the main deck and spotted Leynne boarding the ship. "Uh oh," Link uttered.

"What?" Zelda asked, following his gaze.

"Leynne's back," Link said just as Leynne noticed him standing on the quarterdeck. Link saw him turn and start for the port staircase with a strong stride. "You can tell he's got some news; he's got that concentrating scowl on his face." Zelda disappeared from Link's vision, something which Link just barely caught in the corner of his eye while he watched Leynne climb the stairs.

Leynne approached Link and held out a bundle of envelopes. "Ouh mail was fohwahded from the Poht," he told Link.

"The Port only forwards important stuff," Link commented as he accepted the bundle. He leafed through the envelopes and realized that some of them were personal correspondence for some of his crew. "Then again, they like to forward everything when you haven't been back lately."

"Theh looked to be about two weeks' wohth of mail," Leynne said. "That's about the time since we weh back at the Poht. Two of them weh from the main office mahked 'uhgent'."

"Anything we should be worried about?" Link asked as he searched for envelopes bearing the company's seal.

"One was a notice of a meeting between the captains scheduled foh two weeks afteh today," Leynne said. "From the language used in the notice, attendance of all captains is mandatory."

"Was it bad?" Link asked.

"Well, admittedly," Leynne said, casting his glance to one side with a shrug, "my uptake of the common tongue has been a bit stunted, but I cannot think of many official fohms of communication which includes the wohd 'teabag' in a similah manneh."

"Huh," Link said as he pulled out a pair of envelopes with the company's seal embossed on the back, both of them having already been opened. "I thought they fired that guy."

"The second was mahked 'caution'," Leynne continued. "Evidently, theh has been some fohm of fraud on the central islands. People have been soliciting donations from sailohs to provide aid to Autumn and Centeh Islands. Howeveh, the proceeds have not been seen by the govehning bodies of eitheh island oh the people. Supposedly, this has been going on foh three months. Aihmen from otheh companies have repohted something in the range of twenty thousand rupees total going to these solicitohs, an amount which would make a significant dent in the cuhrent supply problem."

"Oh, man, you've gotta be kidding," Link replied.

"I only wish I weh," Leynne told him. "Would the royal family know about this?"

"We do now," Zelda's voice echoed in Link's head. "And I shall see to it that there is an investigation into this matter immediately."

Link grinned at Leynne, who was confused by the pause only he perceived. "Yep," Link said.

"Ah," was all Leynne could answer.

"You might wanna pass the word around," Link said as he looked through the bundle again, having noticed something with his name on it.

"Of couhse," Leynne said. "The notice mentioned that any donations should go directly to the mayoh's office of eitheh island."

"Make sure you tell them that, too," Link said. He paused to remove a letter, his name written on it in Lady Leeta's familiar scrawl. He tucked the rest of the mail under one arm so he could use both hands to open the envelope. "The Gelto crew have been asking what they can do with their pay, and I'm running out of things to tell them."

"I ratheh thought the on-deck rodeo went quite well," Leynne said. He grimaced as he added, "Until Lwamm slaughtehed the pig and painted mahkings on Twali with its blood."

"Yeah, things did seem to go downhill after that," Link commented. He shrugged and added, "At least we got all the blood out of the deck."

"Still," Leynne added. "We had a reputation foh a while. No one could mention the Symphony without remahking on ouh bahbarian women and theih bloody dating rituals."

Link, barely started reading the letter, looked up. "That was supposed to be a date?"

"Dholit has been spreading rumohs again," Leynne explained. "I hope."

Link ignored Leynne's last comment as he started reading the letter. He had to pause for a moment and reread one sentence. Then he asked Leynne, "What does 'nuptials' mean?"

Before Leynne could answer—

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"GAH!" Link hollered in reaction to the high-pitched screech reverberating throughout his skull. He crushed the letter in his hands and turned back to the rail to press against it.

"Link!" Leynne cried out, grabbing Link's left upper arm as if to save him from a fall. "What happened!?"

"What was that!?" Link screamed at the open air above the main deck. Line and Biluf, both who happened to be on-deck below, turned to Link as if to innocently ask what they did wrong.

"Sorry," Zelda sheepishly replied.

"Geez, Zelda!" Link hollered. "My ears won't stop ringing!"

"Zelda?" Leynne asked, panic giving way to confusion. "Princess Zelda? What did she do?"

"Ugh," Link growled as he shook his head. "She screamed in my head."

"What foh? The wedding?"

Link stood up and blinked at Leynne for a moment. "Wedding? What wedding?"

"You asked what 'nuptials' meant," Leynne explained. "It's a reference to mahriage."

"Oh."

"Your parents are getting married," Zelda spoke up.

"What?" Link asked. He looked down at the letter in his hands. He gave it a cross look and then asked, "Wait, how do you know that? I didn't get that far."

"I can read quite fast, Link," Zelda replied as Leynne gave Link a confused tilt of the head. "Oh, and your mother sends her love and hopes that you will attend their wedding ceremony in one week."

"Zelda, isn't this a little personal?" Link asked in annoyance.

"Oh! Sorry, Link."

"I take this to be… interesting news," Leynne said in a flat voice.

Link took a few moments to read the letter. "Yeah," he finally answered. "My parents are getting married, and they'd like me to be there next week."

"Three days ago," Zelda quickly chimed up.

"Zelda…"

"Sorry, sorry…" Zelda replied with a giggle.

"Will you be in attendance?" Leynne asked.

"She expects me to bring the whole crew," Link replied, glancing at the letter again. "She says that everyone on the Symphony feels like her own sons and daughters, and she wouldn't want them to miss it."

"Shall I remind the captain of what happened at the last wedding this crew attended?" Leynne said.

Link nodded. "Good point. We'll tell Dholit and Layna they can't catch the veil, and we'll have to make sure Sello's clothes stay on."

Whkhp! Link glanced down at the letter to realize that it had gone missing from his hands. Leynne barely noticed the sound and only looked down when Link flipped his empty hands over to examine them.

Leynne gave a half-grin as he told Link, "We may have a problem with the fohmeh."

Link sighed and looked up at the rigging. "Layna? Bring it back."

…

Link had ordered the Island Symphony back to Skyrider Port later that afternoon. Two days later, as Link was briefing his crew on behaving around his father, he received a letter sent via special courier.

From Hyrule Castle.

Zelda later explained that she allowed the news of Lady Leeta and Captain Alfonzo's wedding slip to her parents (although Link suspected that she had blurted it out at the first opportunity) and relayed her father the king's request to officiate as a special favor to two of the realm's heroes. Link, naturally, was afraid of the idea of the king being in close proximity to his rowdy crew. Alfonzo, having received a separate letter the same day, disagreed with the sentiment and had already responded to the request with the stipulation that Lady Leeta would not be informed.

It only led to questions as, two days later, Link was forced to ferry his mother and her wedding party (part of which, conveniently, was comprised of his own crew) while Alfonzo took the Grand Sails to help maintain an older tradition of not allowing the bride and groom to meet on the wedding day. Once again, Link was forced to wear his caped tunic at the risk of having his father drop-kick him over the edge of the island.

Lady Leeta, dressed in a red floral blouse and a gilt, white skirt, started asking questions once a group of decorated knights arrived at the pier to escort the wedding party to the chapel. Link was grateful once Dholit, Biluf, and Lilly led her away to finish preparing for the ceremony.

Link had never been in a proper chapel before, so he was quite surprised to see pews for the first time. He learned from the staff through Leynne that this chapel had been built specifically for marriage ceremonies, which explained the spacious annex next door being attended to by a score of well-dressed servants. The crews of both vessels sat on opposite sides of the chapel, the number of Alfonzo's airmen dwarfing Link's crew. Perhaps the only thing which offset the difference in number was that none of Alfonzo's airmen dared sit in the section of the pew closest to his crew, cowed as they had been by the whole rodeo incident in addition to knowing that the women (not just the Gelto, but the women) on Link's crew were especially volatile. The chapel itself was quite beautiful. Link had not ever thought that walls could be so white. Behind an amazingly ornate altar towered three female statues, their hands extended as if offering all who entered a trio of gold triangles stacked one on top of the other two. An organ sat next to the foot of the left statue, its player dressed in a red robe and busy napping against the covered keyboard.

Link was standing in front of the bride's side of the pews trying to get a head count to make sure that everyone was present. It was not easy; he came up two short of what should have been left of his nineteen-person crew. This happened twice because Layna had disappeared into the rafters while Sello, being tidied up for the occasion, was having trouble sitting up in his seat. Link had to ask Dubbl to call Layna back down and Gale, one of Leeta's bartenders, to pick up Sello and pin him against the pew so Link could at least count him.

When he counted again, he had one extra. Link counted once again, and then he figured the numbers for his crew. He had eighteen crew altogether, but Dholit, Biluf, and Lilly were still helping Leeta prepare. He had remembered to count Irleen, and he knew where his airmen ended and Leeta's bartenders began. So why was he still counting sixteen?

Then he spotted the extra blond head settled between Twali and Lawrence. He moved along the front row and stopped in front of the extra person with his arms crossed. "Better late then never, huh, Airman Zelda?"

Zelda, smiling at him, had put on a blue tunic and white slacks, somewhat more formal than the rest of Link's crew. Lawrence turned wide-eyed and elbowed Harley so that he could deliver a "move over" gesture. Zelda took the opportunity to scoot into the free space before responding to Link. "I thought my enthusiasm enough to indicate my attendance," she said.

"You could just say something," Link pointed out.

"Perhaps," Zelda agreed with a nod. "But it was amusing to watch you count your crew repeatedly."

Link narrowed his eyes at her. "It couldn't have been that funny."

"Kinda was, Cap'n," Lawrence spoke up.

"Shut up, Lawrence," Link told him. Then he asked Zelda, "Is your father okay with you being here?"

"I cannot be sure," Zelda answered. "I did not feel it necessary to ask."

"Your father is here, right?" Link asked. "I don't wanna explain why my parents are being married by one of my airmen."

Zelda gave an audible huff and crossed her arms. "You might amend your attitude if I explained that I am just as capable of performing a proper and legal marriage ceremony with the same standing as my father," she told him. "Even without this fact, you can rest assured that my father is present to perform." She held up a finger. "You would do better to be cautious with your reactions, Captain. One word, and your parents will no longer have a bastard child."

"Ooooooooooh…" Lawrence and Harley cooed at him in jest.

"Oh, stop it!" Link snapped, struggling to keep his voice low. Both men, along with Flower sitting in the row behind them, slapped their hands over their mouths to suppress their urge to laugh. Link then opened his mouth to tell Zelda something, but he found that his words simply failed. So, he elected to just let her watch without further comment. Besides, she was right; one word, and some of Link's fears about the royal family's methods of dealing with malcontents might come true.

He heard someone hiss and glanced at the altar to see Captain Alfonzo trying to signal him. He quickly looked back around to make sure he was the intended recipient.

Which prompted Alfonzo to snap, "Get over here, you dumbass!"

"Aye aye, sir!" Link replied on reflex as he dashed to his father's side.

Once Link was standing next to him, Alfonzo tugged at the collar of a white, button-up shirt which looked to be choking him. "Do I look all right?" he asked.

Link nodded. "Aye, sir."

Alfonzo gave Link an annoyed glare. "Link, quit calling me 'sir'," he said. "We're nowhere near Skyrider business."

"Ay—… okay, Dad," Link quickly amended.

"Does she know?"

"What, about the king? I don't think so."

"I wanna bring her out here before he shows up. Can you go get her?"

"Yeah, uh…" Link glanced at his crew again. When he noticed a particular member missing, he asked aloud, "Did you hear all that, Layna?"

"Ay'a, My Kyab—"

"Yikes!"

"Ohf," Link grunted when Alfonzo elbowed Link's jaw jumping away from Layna.

"Would you make her stop that?!" Alfonzo hissed at him, jerking a thumb over his shoulder at Layna.

"We tried; she won't," Link replied with a pained grunt, rubbing his chin. He motioned and said, "Go get them, Layna."

"Ay'a, My Kyabtin," Layna said with a nod. However, instead of disappearing into the rafters again, she simply turned around and started up the aisle. Link thought it was a little strange given her proclivity for moving around without anyone noticing.

Naturally, it was a mistake. Link cringed when a wolf whistle sounded from one of Alfonzo's crew. Layna's arm swung so fast that Link just barely caught the movement out of his eye while she maintained her stride up the aisle. Almost a second later, one of Alfonzo's airmen sitting on the opposite side of the crowd fell out of the pew.

"Rusty!" Alfonzo barked. "What'd I tell you about making the deckhands whistle at my son's crew!?" This inspired snorting and muffled chortles from some of Link's crew.

"Only once a month, sir!" someone on Alfonzo's side, Rusty, hollered back. "That was my freebie!"

"It's your last!"

"I don't know what's weirder," Link commented. "You hollering at your crew about whistling at mine, or you limiting them to only doing it once."

"There wouldn't be any limit if they weren't constantly whistling at the wrong one…" Alfonzo grumbled. Link cast him a confused look. Was that supposed to mean that he would let them whistle at the others, who tended to lack subtly when targeting a disrespectful airman? He decided that it was about as hazardous, and Alfonzo would still have to limit how often they whistled at the Gelto, lest he deal with a crew constantly having arms and legs broken. Link gave his thoughts a dismissive shrug.

The next few minutes were filled with watching some of Alfonzo's crew trying to revive Layna's latest victim. Then Leeta appeared at the far side of the hall with Dholit, Biluf, and Lilly in tow (Link had to glance back at the rest of his crew to find Layna sitting among them again, her expression cross as she stared ahead). Alfonzo snapped his fingers twice at the organ player before finding a green rupee in his pocket and throwing it at the organ. The tung! sound it made on one of the pipes caused the organ player to snap to attention and look around. After Alfonzo gestured at Leeta, the player immediately threw open the cover and started playing a song Link was only vaguely familiar with. Link watched as his grandfather, his mother's father, attempted to stand up. However, being a frail old man with pale, extremely wrinkled skin and very shaky legs, he did not get far before his wife tugged on the back of his shirt to make him sit again. Link failed to understand what his grandfather had intended to do.

Alfonzo slapped Link on the back of his right shoulder. "Go escort your mom," he said in a low voice.

"Huh?" Link replied.

"Go escort your mom, you little knothead," Alfonzo said, his voice rising in hostility.

"R-right," Link said. He immediately ran down the aisle, attracting a lot of amazed looks when his boots accelerated him past the pews with their usual speed. Leeta took a step back in surprise when Link came to a stop in front of her. "Dad says I need to escort you," he told her.

"Just… just as long as we go slow," she replied. This caused Dholit and Lilly to giggle to themselves. Link turned around to lead her, but Leeta quickly reached forward and grabbed his upper arm. She tugged him backward. "Walk beside me, Link."

"S-sorry, Mom."

She gave his cape a tug to fit it back into place. "What is with this cape?" she asked as she pulled it off his sleeve. "It's clinging too much."

"I don't know," Link answered. "Dad ordered me to wear it."

"I would gladly but lovingly rip it off, My Captain," Dholit spoke up.

"Dholit…" Leeta and Link replied with a warning tone, both turning to give her a brief glare of annoyance.

Leeta took hold of Link's arm again and told him, "Let's go."

They proceeded down the aisle, during which the witnesses had stood up (with Gale holding Sello by his shoulders to keep him standing). Princess Zelda stepped up to the inside of the first row trying to get a better view. However, when Alfonzo spotted her, he quickly started motioning for her to get back while speaking aloud to get her attention. Since Zelda was not responding to him (and Alfonzo had not raised his voice to threaten her), Link took it as a sign that Alfonzo was trying his hardest to be respectful.

"Link, who's that girl standing near Alfonzo?" Link felt lightning shoot up his spine at the sound of his mother asking in curiosity. His legs became stiff, causing his walk to become a little clunky. "She looks so cute."

"Ah, haaaah…" Link replied, his attempt to give a dismissive laugh foiled by his nervousness. "J-just another airman." Given the fact that Link also had Lilly on his crew, Leeta found this to be a reasonable explanation and dismissed her thoughts with a shrug. Alfonzo finally caught Zelda's eye, and she quickly moved back to where she had been sitting.

Just a few steps away from the altar, a door near the organ player opened. King Lauris, dressed in a fur-lined white robe and carrying a large book under one arm, stepped into the hall, followed by a pair of knights dressed in full plate armor.

Leeta came to a sudden halt just a few paces from the altar. Then she started squeezing Link's arm. "Owowowow…" Link grunted to himself.

"Link," Leeta whispered to him as Lauris stepped behind the altar. "I-is that who I think it is?"

"Mom!" Link whispered in pain, using his free hand to try prying her fingernails out of his arm. "Mom, you're squeezing!"

"Oh!" Leeta uttered. She let Link's arm go. "Sorry, Link."

Alfonzo took a step toward her and held out a hand. "C'mon, Leeta," he told her with a grin on his face. "The king is waiting."

Leeta's face started to glow with happiness as she took Alfonzo's hand and let herself be draw up to the altar. By contrast, Link dragged his feet to the open space at the front of the seats, one hand holding his aching arm and a sour look on his face.

The pair of knights, once Alfonzo and Leeta were standing directly before the altar, rounded the altar from behind the king. Alfonzo glanced at the knight walking past him. Then, once the knight had taken up position behind Alfonzo and facing the aisle, Link heard Alfonzo speaking as he leaned back and whispered, "Thanks for making it, asshole. Nice suit, but I think you overdid the ironing." Leeta took her eyes off the king long enough to nudge Alfonzo with her elbow.

"Wouldn't miss watching you get leashed, dickhead," the knight replied, his helmet muffling his voice. "What's next? Getting neutered?" The knight's response caused Link to give the knight a confused look. The knight turned his head to Link. And then he raised his visor. "How's it going, Captain Kiddo?" Sir Gilliam said with a wink.

"Damn." The swear word originated from the altar, and Link first thought that Alfonzo had taken issue with Gilliam's response. Both Alfonzo and Leeta were staring at King Lauris, and Link then assumed that Alfonzo had sworn at the king (with appropriate fear that the entire group was going to be chased out of the chapel by an army). However, the only frustrated face in sight was King Lauris as he reached into his robe, revealing a white formal tunic and breeches trimmed with gold, and pulled a pair of reading spectacles from a chest pocket. Link leaned forward and turned to find Zelda. Zelda held a hand over her mouth while her shoulders shook, indicating to Link that she was giggling at her father. He turned back as King Lauris then took a moment to read from the book he had now placed on the altar. Then he gave his hands a mighty clap, which caused the organ player to quickly take his hands away from the keyboard. "Witnesses, be seated," he said in a louder voice.

The pause in which the witnesses took their seats gave him a moment to take in a large breath. "Ladies and gentlemen, honored guests, and…" He paused while looking at Link's crew. Link turned to follow his gaze toward the far side of the second pew where Helo and Lidago were standing, both too large to fit in the narrow space between pews. "Esteemed colleagues. On behalf of the bride and groom, I welcome you all to this chapel on this brightest of days, their wedding. As king of Hyrule, I am honored to place within the bonds of matrimony not only one of the heroes of our realm, but the mother of one other hero to whom the kingdom and the royal family owes their tha… an…" The king trailed off as he appeared to realize something. His eyes fell on Link, and Link could only respond by giving him a confused look. King Lauris shook his head and continued, "It is a privilege to apply the laws of our realm to this man, Captain Alfonzo of the Grand Sails, and this woman, the Lady Leeta of Skyrider Port.

"I understand that these two met almost a lifetime ago. He was an arrogant young airman constantly bounding between ports. One day, he landed at Skyrider Port and decided that he was parched with a particular thirst. The place he stopped in was called the Sail Tavern, whereby he became intoxicated and decided to…" The king had to pause and bite down on his lower lip to keep from laughing out loud, his eyes focused on the book in front of him so no one could see his face. "Decided to physically proposition the young woman serving drink to him and his comrades. This young woman, having now blossomed into the lovely Lady Leeta, countered this proposal by spinning upon him and striking him with the serving tray in her hands, knocking him out of his chair." The next pause was filled with a respectable amount of laughter from the other chapel occupants. Link, for his part, was halfway covering his mouth and halfway holding his jaw shut as he imagined his mother breaking a tray over Alfonzo's head. "In the ensuing commotion, Master Emil, the owner of the Sail Tavern and, much to the young airman's misfortune, Leeta's father, was forced to intervene by catching the young man in the crook of his arm and hurling him at the table. The night ended with him and his comrades being thrown onto the street outside.

"To say that was the end of it implies that this arrogant young man actually had a brain." The king, with a wide grin on his face, paused to let the rest of the group laugh. Link thought he was going to wet himself trying to keep from laughing aloud with his father, who was being quite thoroughly embarrassed, easily in striking distance. Alfonzo, however, was trying not to crack up from being reminded of past events with King Lauris adding his own commentary to what he had been told. The king continued, "The next day, the young man, nursing a hangover and a battle-wounded left leg, found that the only thing he could remember of that night was that a young maiden had hit him with a tray. He went back to that tavern in search of an apology. However, he was instead escorted out the tavern window by Master Emil." The following pause took a little longer as some of the witnesses had to think back a moment to realize that the king had said "window", not "door". "As I was told, this went on for almost six months, with bets being taken as to how Master Emil would be injuring Airman Alfonzo at the crux of these confrontations. However, one day, Master Emil took Airman Alfonzo to one side and convinced him to at least share a drink with young Leeta instead of making his usual demands for an apology."

"That was just because I threw out my back!" someone from behind Link shouted. "I was getting tired of knocking your stuffing out!"

"Emil!" came the shrill voice of an older woman. At the same time, Leeta turned and snapped, "Dad!"

King Lauris took the break in the story to cover his mouth and laugh to himself while the rest of the hall experienced a quick uproar. With his composure restored, the king then raised a hand to call the hall back to silence. "Since then, these two have been slowly but surely falling in love. Although the young airman had turned going to a tavern into an assured endangerment of his life. Alfonzo himself told me of this only the previous day and said that they were some of the most special moments of his life. Even if he was still looking for an apology he did not deserve and was regularly pummeled until his hot-headed life flashed before his eyes. He had never bled for another woman. He had never thought of another woman. His selfishness eventually turned to selfless consideration for her, although he admitted to hoping that her father would eventually ruin his hands in the process of beating him."

"I've got more bone than meat on them, Alfonzo!" Emil hollered. "Just for you!"

"Emil, shut up," Link's grandmother told him.

Again, King Lauris used the surrounding laughter to compose himself again. Then he raised a hand to silence the hall. "I think we can all agree that love enjoys sprouting in some very peculiar places. Love knows pain. And suffering. And determination. And strife. The Lady Leeta also knows these things, although quite possibly not as well as Captain Alfonzo. That these two have gone for so long without being married is truly amazing, for it is quite clear that these two have created some fond memories.

"It is said that the goddess Nayru gave us the law of monogamy so that the love Farore made for us would not be squandered and devalued by giving it to every face that happens to catch our fancy. As much as we like to believe that we can share that love with all, what, therefore, does that love become? Are we as mortal beings capable of loving everyone to the extent that Farore loves us? It is perhaps this law, hidden from sight but very much enforced by nature itself, which has kept these two together until this day, where they announce to the world that they are ready to become one. This love has tempered the two, molded them so that no other may come between them. This has turned them into the people we know and love this day. So, we should take a moment to bow our heads in gratitude to Nayru for her law." The king then bowed his head, signaling to the rest of the group to do the same. Link found the practice a little awkward, having never set foot in a church or chapel before. He secretly hoped that the king would continue telling stories of Captain Alfonzo.

"Thank you," the king said after a pause that left half of Link's crew confused and a little bored. "During dinner three nights ago, I asked my daughter if she had any news she would like share with the table. With no hesitation or tranquility in her voice, she informed the entire castle that Captain Alfonzo was to be married. As a hero of the realm, he is owed a debt by this kingdom, and it was my pleasure that at least some small part of that debt is paid by officiating a wedding a long time in the making. I have known Alfonzo for a few years. He has taken jobs for the royal household on occasion as well as brought five aspiring captains to be acknowledged by myself. In addition, he has produced a captain that stands out among others for his youth and his daring. I feel that I have gotten to know Captain Alfonzo personally, perhaps much more than some of my own knights. He is a great friend of the knighthood, and I regret that he chooses to serve the people of the realm rather than take up a knighthood himself. Still, he is a man of strong character that has—"

"—HKKKKKKKKKKKKK!" The snore ripped into King Lauris' speech, forcing the king to pause in surprise. Link was equally surprised to realize that the snore came from behind him. He turned in his seat to find that Line, sitting out of Link's reach in the middle of the pew, had fallen asleep with his face aimed at the ceiling. "HKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!"

Link cringed and glanced back at the altar to find the king and both of his parents glaring at him. Not at Line, at Link! Link quickly spun back around and whispered at Twali, who had unwittingly sat next to Line, "Wake him up! Hurry!"

"Dhohanwan," Twali whispered, nudging Line with her arm.

"HKKKKKKKKKKKK!"

"Layn!" Twali whispered, shoving his shoulder with a hand.

"HKKKKKKKKKKKK!"

WHAM!

"AAGH!" Line hollered, his arms wrapping around his head in surprise. He leaned forward and groaned, "Oooooooh! Ow!" Link watched Leynne sit back in his seat and carefully place a hymnal back in the slot on the pew in front of him.

"Should I speed this up?" King Lauris asked, leaning toward Alfonzo.

"He's just an idiot, Your Majesty," Alfonzo whispered back. "It's easier to ignore him."

"Right," Lauris nodded as he scrolled a finger across his book. "Here we a—Still, he is a man of strong character that has served both king and country beyond his ability. Captain, if you would address the bride."

Alfonzo and Leeta turned to each other, and Alfonzo picked up and held one of her hands as he spoke, his face visibly reddening over his newly-grown beard. "Leeta," he said. "I think I've all but admitted that I was a dumbass and a little shit of a man when we first met. As much pain as it caused me, I can't say I completely regret slapping your ass that day. I haven't touched another woman since then, mostly out of fear that I'd get my ass kicked by another tavern owner. Believe me, I started sizing these guys up after your dad threw me through the window." Chuckles sounded from his crew. "I was determined to get that apology from you. And, well… I suppose it just turned into wanting to get you in the end. Since my father threw me out, I didn't have a place to come home to. The Sail Tavern was the closest I'd ever gotten to having a home again. Complete with a dad to knock me around for being stupid. I know we've both had a long time to think about this. I miss having a home. And I would like us to start a home together. Not just for us, but for our son, who should have had a father to grow up with, not a captain." Alfonzo then nodded at Lauris.

"Lady Leeta?" Lauris asked. "Would you like to address the groom?"

Leeta, already in the midst of crying, attempted to open her mouth only to let out an emotional squeak of sound. She pulled a handkerchief from her pocket and dabbed her tears away. "I-I want to, but I don't know what to say," she admitted. "This is the first time I've ever heard anything about your parents… And as sad as it makes me… to know that you were kicked out of your home… I-I'm also so happy that you want to have one with me." She coughed out a laugh to herself. "I'll have to make sure Dad isn't around too much, though. I've always wanted a home for our son, but I was always afraid that you would never commit. And-and now… It would make me so much happier to start a home with you, the man I fell in love with. To whom I will never apologize."

Lauris allowed a moment of silence in case Leeta was not finished. And then he said, "Captain Alfonzo, you have chosen to live the rest of your natural life with this woman, Lady Leeta. Do you agree to love and respect her, stay by her side from this point forward, through prosperity and poverty, through good health and illness, to cultivate a family and a home which you both can look upon with pride?"

"I agree," Alfonzo said almost immediately.

"Very well." Lauris then turned to Leeta. "Lady Leeta, you have chosen to live the rest of your natural life with this man, Captain Alfonzo. Do you agree to love and respect him, to stay by his side from this point forward, through prosperity and poverty, through good health and illness, no matter how often your father beats him to a pulp, and to cultivate a family and a home which you both can look upon with pride?"

Leeta allowed the laughter to die down before saying, "I agree."

"Very well," Lauris said. He addressed the hall, "If this man or this woman has arrangements to be betrothed to another, please sp—well…" The king trailed off as his eyes fell on a few particular individuals seated behind Link. "Speak up and hope the room neglects to attack you."

The hall fell quieter than a graveyard. Although there were a few who wanted to laugh at the king's rewording of the traditional call for arrangement, absolutely no one on either side of the hall wanted to so much as utter a peep. For Link's crew, it meant that they had failed to uphold his wishes that the ceremony went as smoothly as possible with the understanding that Dholit would be handling punishment in the order of days rather than minutes. In Dholit's case, messing around at vital points in the ceremony would result in her being locked in a room with Sello for a day. As for Link's grandparents, they wanted to simply respect their daughter's beloved day, especially in light of Emil hollering at Alfonzo just minutes ago.

However, for Alfonzo's crew and guests (who had heard rumors from the crew), there was still the lingering fear that anything upsetting either the captain or his son would bring down the wrath of the female crew of the Island Symphony. They had not remained sitting on the far side of the pews away from Link's crew because they enjoyed being smashed together; they had heard about what they had done to the crew of the Moon's Shadow.

"I cannot emphasize the amount of tension that caused," Lauris commented. "By the power endowed by the laws of Hyrule and with royal blessings of good will and health, I pronounce this couple 'husband' and 'wife'. You may conclude this marriage with a kiss."

The two were already kissing by the time Lauris finished the second sentence. It was long, and Alfonzo was leaning into her with one arm around her back to support her. A few whistles from Alfonzo's crew prompted the rest of the gathering to stand and shower the two with applause. Through the clapping, Link realized that someone behind him was crying in a high-pitched voice. He turned to see his grandmother dabbing at her eyes with the sleeve of Gale's shirt while Gale himself was blowing into a handkerchief.

…

The whole group moved into the annex, where food and drink had already been placed. King Lauris had arranged a string quartet to provide some atmosphere to the lunch. Lauris himself was not present, only Zelda and Gilliam, who had exchanged his armor for a decorated tunic, slacks, and a cape (further annoying Link by taking the cape off and draping it on his chair as he ate).

The room was laid out so that Alfonzo and Leeta sat center at the head table, behind which was the kitchen and serving staff. More tables stretched along the adjacent walls for the length of the room with chairs and benches on either side to sit a decidedly larger group than what they had brought along. Alfonzo and Leeta shared their table with Lieutenant Blair, Chief Mallard, Captain Luke (who just happened to be in port and saw part of the wedding party wandering through the streets), Helo, and Lidago. The two Gorons were seated at the table because the serving staff did not want to try traveling down the length of the room with slabs of rock. Link was sitting with his crew and his grandparents, mostly because he did not want to be within strike range should one of his crew prompt Alfonzo to smack him. The group Link sat with used both sides of the table. On the opposite side of the room, Alfonzo's crew had relaxed and no longer felt the need to keep wary eyes on Link's crew. Link had to admit that he could understand their earlier paranoia, but since the Gelto (sans Layna, who had hidden somewhere in the room) were all seated against the wall, it was easy for them to see the women's preoccupation with enjoying their meal. Link spent some time praying under his breath that his crew would not start a brawl here.

The first course went by without trouble. The second course… not so much.

It started when Dholit stood up from her chair. Link automatically turned to her and asked over Biluf's head, "Where are you going?"

"If I am not mistaken," Dholit answered, "it is not impolite to wish the newlyweds well in theih new life during a celebratory meal."

"Rat's aboidin' da quesshon," Line accused with a mouth full of steak, gesturing at her with a fork in his hand.

"Shut up, Line," Leynne, who was sitting next to him across from Link, said with a dismissive tone. Line turned and showed him a wad of fat on his tongue.

"Just… don't do anything that's gonna get us all in trouble," Link told her. He glanced just in time to watch Leynne quickly flick a piece of spiced eggplant into Line's mouth. Line immediately turned the other direction and coughed it out onto Gold's plate.

"Would I be so brash?" Dholit asked.

"You slip into my bed naked," Link pointed out. "Yes."

Dholit crossed her arms. "Well, let me assuah My Captain that I have no intention of removing my clothing befoah youh parents," she said, her tone one of mild indignation. "My address will be one befitting my station."

"Yeah, I'll—Line!" Link suddenly turned attention back to Line when he saw him take aim at Leynne, ready to flick a spoonful of food at his superior. Link's change in tone caused Line to pause in response. "I swear, if you throw that mash at Leynne, you'll be cleaning out the heads for a month. And not just cleaning them; we're gonna tie a rope around you and put you inside them."

"He started it!" Line declared.

"He's your superior, Line!" Link hollered back. "And much smarter than you. So knock it off!"

"Man!" Line whined as he dropped the spoon on his plate. "How come I always get in trouble!?"

"Cuz yeh're the one 'o starts it?" Gold asked, giving Line a grin.

"Your mom's so f—" Line started to say to Gold.

"Line!" Link snapped again. "That's enough."

"Link!" Alfonzo's deep boom caused everyone nearby to start. Link glanced past Leynne to see Alfonzo crooking a beckoning finger at him, although Link had the impression that he was actually trying with difficulty to form a fist in front of Leeta. Link caught sight of Dholit trying to slip by him and gave her an annoyed look before standing.

He tried to maintain a cool exterior as he approached Alfonzo, but years of being hollered at had conditioned his body to be ready to spring out of the way just in case. He stepped up beside Alfonzo, who had been staring at him the entire time, and asked, "Yes?"

Alfonzo replied in a very low voice with one finger pointed at Dholit, "You keep her away from me, or I swear I'm gonna use your flea-bitten carcass to scrub my keel clean. You got that, boy?"

Link glanced at Leeta to see that she was covering her face with a napkin, although she had not quite covered her left cheek, allowing Link to see it almost glowing red. Link had taken Alfonzo's red face to be natural given that he was threatening Link, but he could not be certain this time. "Y-yes, sir," he replied. He turned and started to walk away. However, just as he was rounding the table, he heard a strained wail and turned around just in time to see Leeta start cackling aloud, which caused Alfonzo to cover his face with a hand. Gilliam, sitting on Alfonzo's left, leaned over to whisper to Lieutenant Blair.

Link returned to the table and stepped up behind Dholit, who had been watching the exchange. He crossed his arms, although this hardly affected the grin on her face. "What the hell did you say to them?" he asked.

"I meahly expressed my admiration of theih decision and volunteahed some infohmation to be used lateh," Dholit replied.

"'Befitting youh station', naturally," Leynne chimed in. Dholit gave an acknowledging hum. "Which station?"

"Would you believe that I compohted myself as a propeh aihman?" Dholit asked, her statement catching Biluf's attention.

"Afteh all this time?" Leynne replied, one eyebrow raised in reaction to her evasiveness. "Foh someone who likes to vehbally dodge everything, you hahdly attempt to hide youh lustful antics."

"Hahdly an ovahsight, Mistah Leynne," Dholit replied. "I feah that my intentions would be lost on my companions should they become too subtle."

Link returned to his seat and dropped heavily into it. "Just stay away from my dad; you're gonna get me killed," he said.

"Waba nugthya'ak dhol zhaym thib?" Biluf asked Dholit with annoyance tinging her voice.

Dholit took a moment to give her usual, smug grin. Then she told Biluf, "'Inu ya'lu—" Pap.

Link heard Dholit take in a sharp breath and glanced around Biluf's shoulder. A white glob stuck to Dholit's left cheek, and it was clear by the shocked look on her face that it did not belong there. The entirety of Link's crew fell silent with an air of surprise comparable to Dholit. Almost as one, the crew turned to look at the opposite side of the room.

A small group of Alfonzo's airmen had moved out of the way, leaving one, sitting with his back to the wall, isolated. The grin on his face quickly melted into the dawning realization that his ill-conceived prank to potato the back of Gold's head had failed in the worst possible way, his eyes darting to the spoon still standing in his fist. His jaw was slack, leaving one of his crewmates to sum up his reaction in a single whisper.

"Aw, shit."

Link sensed movement near him and turned his head to see Biluf, Dubbl, Twali, and Lwamm slowly rise from the table.

Dholit, however, sported an evil smile. Link could feel the uneasy shiver scramble up his back as Dholit let the air sizzle with her intense gaze.

"Layxoman."

At Dholit's word, the four Gelto leapt the table over the heads of their crewmates. One of Alfonzo's airmen had just barely enough time to cry out "HIT THE DECK!" before Twali sailed over their table and tackled the offending airman to the floor. Biluf, Dubbl, and Lwamm were intercepted by the airmen rising on the nearer side of the table. This hardly discourage them, as the first three had been shoved into the table the moment the Gelto hit. Link had never seen the Gelto crew fight before. Watching Alfonzo's ill-informed crew take hits one right after the other, he now understood how the six of them had cleaned out seven bars in a single night (contributing a major factor that saw them barred from Timbre Island for five more months). The Gelto struck fast, struck hard, and struck in places no airman would think about aiming in the middle of a bar fight. He counted at least seven kicks to the crotch. They also appeared to enjoy punching in the nose, eyes, or throat. He saw Biluf aim for underneath the jaw with her middle knuckle protruding, which caused men's necks to crack as they fell aside. When the Gelto did not strike, it was because they were catching the slower, heavier punches that Alfonzo's crew aimed at them only to catch, twist, and, with audible results, break their arms.

Link saw Alfonzo rush around his table on his way to intervene. "Dad, wait!" Link quickly hollered as he rose.

Alfonzo was floored instantly when Lwamm, perceiving someone grabbing for her upper arm from behind, jerked her arm out of the way and thrust her elbow into Alfonzo's left eye. Link's jaw dropped open, and he grabbed his hair in a show of horrified panic. It was a moment before he even considered hollering for Layna to stop the fight.

"Fiiiiit!" The piercing whistle brought the brawl to a grinding halt. Everyone looked to the head table to see Lady Leeta, standing on the table, pulling her fingers away from her mouth so she could place her fists on her hips. "That's enough out of you bunch!" she hollered at them. "What kinda men are you to start picking on women who are just trying to have a decent meal?! How old are you all, eight?! Now look at what you've done! You started a fight, you're making a mess of the hall, and you're still getting your asses kicked! If you haven't learned not to pick on these girls in a bar, you had better learn that you're not gonna pick on them on a special occasion! And you women! What the hell is wrong with you!? Just one of you takes a little potato, and you decide you gotta flatten the entire room!? Are your tempers that out of control!?" Dubbl was the only one to look down in shame; Biluf, Lwamm, and Twali all exchanged confused looks on behalf of the language barrier. Leeta crossed her arms. "Now. All of you! Both crews! You're all gonna straighten up this mess, you're gonna finish eating, and you're gonna go home! I just got married; you don't wanna mess with me!"

Groaning and grunting filled the room as both tables shuffled to their feet to drag out trash cans and start picking up food that had fallen to the floor. The Gorons volunteered to take the battered tables and a couple broken chairs out back while a group of Alfonzo's men went to buy replacements. In the aftermath of the dinner, Leeta had both crews apologize to each other. Alfonzo did not say anything except when he had to bark orders at his crew, but it was obvious under the cold slab of steak that he was still livid as Link's crew left.

…

Two days later…

—Dear Link,

—Greetings from Sagacity Island! Your father sailed us here for our honeymoon, and I thought this would be a good opportunity to write and let you know how things are going.

—First, I just thought I'd let you know that I don't hold your crew responsible for what happened at the chapel. Your dad found out that the man who hit Dholit with the potatoes was a new crewmember, and he had not been warned about how volatile the girls on your crew could be. He's on sick leave now, but I guess nobody at the main office can assign him with some temporary shore duty with two broken arms and one broken leg. Personally, I think Twali might have overdone it a little, but I can certainly understand her wanting to get revenge for Dholit. But you might want to warn them that they should really be careful about breaking people's limbs; it kind of interferes with their jobs.

—Your father isn't mad at you anymore. He thinks that you need to talk to the girls, too, but he knows that his crew can be a little rambunctious around women. Well, the way he put it, he just said they were too dumb to live, but you get my point. I think letting Blair handle the Grand Sails for the week is giving him the opportunity to unwind; he's been commanding that ship for so long, I had to remind him what it was like to enjoy a bed rather than simply falling on one. I think our visit to the main street tomorrow will help get his mind off work for a bit. Believe it or not, your father actually has a very gentle voice when he isn't shouting at people.

—It's a little late. I'll be sure to let you know how things go once we meet again at the tavern. Tell Gale to keep the place warm for me. Bye, Link.

—Love,

—Mom

—P.S.: Although your father doesn't appreciate it, I have to admit, there's something attractive about him wearing an eyepatch. I know it's only for a black eye, but, well, maybe I shouldn't say anymore. Tell Lwamm and Dholit I said thank you!

Link rested on his desk, his head reeling from the concussion he had given himself when he had bashed it against the hardwood desktop.

…

Tale #22 of the Island Symphony – END

NOTICE: The previous story is canon. Alfonzo did indeed forgive Link's crew, Airman Hux eventually recovered by the end of the year (although he now has panic attacks whenever the Island Symphony is even mentioned), and Link now knows that his father looks sexy with an eyepatch. He doesn't want to know, but he does.