NOTICE: The following is semi-canon in that most of them are based on incidents featured in the stories. The rest, well… It's been two years between #1 and #100.
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Tale #28: The List of Captain Link's Standing Orders
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—Order #1: Dholit is not allowed in the captain's bed.
Order #1 Addendum: Dholit is not allowed in the captain's cabin at all when the captain isn't present. Seriously. Stop it.
Order #1 Addendum 2: Dholit is not allowed in the captain's cabin when he is asleep, either.
—Order #2: Either Dholit or Dubbl must be on duty at all times.
—Order #3: No one is allowed to settle an argument by smacking their opponent with pieces of the ship.
—Order #4: Dholit will never, for any conceivable reason, be left in charge of the ship when the captain and first officer are away. That's why we have deck chiefs.
—Order #5: No food is to be brought on-deck while in a Sky Line. The helmsman who violates this will spend their off-hours cleaning out the instrument panel.
—Order #6: Leynne does not need to be reminded that no one ashore likes his accent.
—Order #7: The captain does not like to be called a child. He got the job fair and square, so quit acting like he's ten years old.
—Order #8: If someone assigns Layna to follow the captain, warn him.
—Order #9: Layna is not allowed to jump someone unless they are a clear threat.
Order #9 Addendum: Line is always an exception. It's clear you don't like him anyway.
—Order #10: Please notify the captain if you have a potentially dangerous former occupation/hobby. He's tired of being taken by surprise.
—Order #11: No killing. Seriously, you are targeting fellow airmen. The company frowns on murdering coworkers, even if they are technically trying to kill us.
Order #11 Addendum: That goes for our passengers, too, no matter how annoying they are.
—Order #12: As long as she is not physically, mentally, or emotionally injuring people, Dholit does not need to tell the captain what she does when she is disciplining the crew.
Order #12 Addendum (Added by Leynne): Link, she tickles people until they scream. It isn't that big of a mystery.
—Order #13: Nobody touches Sello's couch.
—Order #14: Cale is not to be assigned lookout on the poop deck. There is no need to tempt fate.
Order #14 Addendum (Added by Leynne): Cale is not to be assigned lookout at all. Fate more than likely has designs on making up for lost opportunities.
—Order #15: Biluf needs to mix her chemicals in a well-vented area not connected to anything below-deck. People sleep down there. And the captain asks all crew to review order #10.
—Order #16: Layna is no longer allowed to throw blades at the captain, whether she intends to hit him or not.
Order #16 Addendum: Rescinded. Just don't throw them near my head.
—Order #17: Do not, under any circumstances, try to wake Layna.
—Order #18: No tackling the captain.
Order #18 Addendum: Seriously, Layna. Quit it.
—Order #19: If Sello claims it, it's better to let him have it.
—Order #20: This ship absolutely did not have any empty crates during the voyage from Sagacity Island to Might Island when the Sky Lines disappeared.
—Order #21: Do not let Sello have any of Biluf's chemicals.
—Order #22: If you have to vomit, just do it over the side. Running to the head is just plain insane; we can clean the hull easier than we can clean the deck. Plus, it's too easy to fall off the beakhead if you trip.
Order #22 Addendum: Cale, just don't run on the deck period.
—Order #23: Since Dubbl doesn't speak Hylian too well, use sarcasm with her at your own risk. The captain is not inclined to punish her if she decides to punch you for it; you should know better.
—Order #24: The pink wallet was a gift. The captain is through with pointing this out.
—Order #25: Don't say anything degrading about women. The Gelto will make you regret it.
—Order #26: Explosives are no longer to be employed in rescues. Dholit, just what the hell were you thinking?
—Order #27: Moments of grave peril are not an appropriate time to start making out.
—Order #28: While the captain's footlocker does contain weapons, it is not the armory during an emergency. The captain knows most of you carry weapons, so stop taking his.
—Order #29: No pretending to be pregnant. Especially when it's apparent that you just shoved a pillow under your shirt.
—Order #30: No stealing clothing from crewmates. Clothing shops exist for a reason.
—Order #31: When you have been ordered to recover, that means you are off-duty until you are fit. Doing anything but recovering will only get you tied down to the bed.
—Order #32: None of the crew are allowed to perform anything beyond basic first aid. Dholit has a sewing kit, which is not made to remove stitches, and she can be mean about it.
—Order #33: Sello is not a punching bag. Even if he says it didn't hurt.
—Order #34: Technoworks blocks will only be used to propel the Island Symphony during an emergency. In this event, the engine is never to be turned on. It isn't worth the heart attack.
—Order #35: Stop teaching the captain to say dirty things in Geltoan.
Order #35 Addendum: Yes, the order still stands. I know my pronunciation is half the problem, but I still think Dholit is making it worse.
—Order #36: Don't try to have a conversation with Sello if it will just make you mad. It's been well over a month, so you should know better by now.
—Order #37: If two or more of you are going to lie to the captain about the same thing, at least be decent enough to come up with one lie.
—Order #38: Sello is limited in the amount of junk he can drag aboard. This is a cargo vessel, not a garbage scow.
—Order #39: Manual labor, other than necessary repairs to the ship or the launch, are forbidden in the boat deck. Come on, you guys, I sleep right underneath it.
—Order #40: Furniture are not tools, especially in the context of using one because you could not take the time to find a hammer.
—Order #41: Do not throw the throttle control of the Conductor to full. Whatever is left of you will be fired.
—Order #42: Line. DON'T PROVOKE THE GELTO.
Order #42 Addendum: Screw you, Line, I'm sick of warning you.
—Order #43: Dholit, no kissing.
Order #43 Addendum: No butt-slapping, either.
Order #43 Addendum 2: You know what, Dholit? Just stop touching people.
—Order #44: Sello is not allowed to man the helm. Anyone who defies this again will be throw off.
—Order #45: Some warning when dealing with others would be appreciated. Codewords would be especially helpful.
—Order #46: No one is allowed to call the captain "Captain Shortpants".
Order #46 Addendum: Nor "Captain Hotpants".
Order #46 Addendum 2: Nor is Sir Gilliam to be called "Sir Sweettongue".
—Order #47: No betting shifts; we don't have a big enough crew.
Order #47 Addendum: This crew is not allowed to bet anything except money. You shouldn't be gambling at all, but anything other than money causes trouble.
—Order #48: Sello is not allowed to build or modify machinery he finds ashore. We don't need him leveling a town.
—Order #49: Sello is not allowed ashore without an escort. Aside from the fact that no drunk should be wandering around the docks, Sello is still way too insane. This goes hand-in-hand with order #48.
—Order #50: Sello is not allowed to horde first aid kits.
—Order #51: Tell the captain the whole plan before the ship commits.
—Order #52: Line is not allowed to hog the snacks in the home office conference rooms. We use those for conferences, not to have you puke on someone.
—Order #53: If the captain is in need of rest, the proper course is to politely inform him or insist, not stab him in the neck with a drugged needle.
—Order #54: No one is allowed to undress the captain unless in times of emergency.
Order #54 Addendum (Added by Leynne): No, Dholit, a "sex" emergency does not count.
—Order #55: If someone decides to joke during a life-or-death situation, they are to immediately been punched in the face.
—Order #56: No one is allowed to shoot the captain.
—Order #57: No one is allowed to bring up the time the Princess of Hyrule shot the captain.
—Order #58: NO STOWAWAYS! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU!?
—Order #59: Dholit's punishment for misbehavior will be to be locked in one of the crew quarters with Sello.
—Order #60: In spite of what the captain may say in a moment of sarcasm or utter defeat, no one is allowed to break a crewmate's arm.
—Order #61: Dholit is not allowed to breathe in my ear. Ever.
—Order #62: The captain is in command of an unusually large cargo schooner. He believes the crew can agree that he does not deserve to be called "Skipper" anymore.
Order #62 Addendum (Added by Princess Zelda): Only if we can agree that Airman Zelda no longer be referred to as "Princess" when she is not in royal regalia.
—Order #63: No, the captain has not lost his mind. He is talking to Princess Zelda and does not appreciate having to explain why he appears to be conversing with thin air.
—Order #64: Go easy on whomever decides to steal from our ship; they clearly do not realize what they are walking into.
—Order #65: The next one of you who brings a statue of the captain onto the ship will be tied to it and thrown overboard. The captain knows they exist; that doesn't mean he has to haul one.
—Order #66: The next time the crew goes to a bathhouse, Dholit gets tied down until the crew is finished.
—Order #67: Layna is no longer allowed to knock out the whole crew. We've got work to do; we can't do this sort of thing.
—Order #68: The Gelto are only allowed to break one limb per person in a fight.
Order #68 Addendum: That does not mean that one man gets all his limbs broken while his friends get knocked out. Come on, are you serious!?
—Order #69: Line is open to attack if he falls asleep during important functions.
—Order #70: Layna is not the captain's food taster.
—Order #71: Dholit is not allowed to ambush people in their sleep.
—Order #72: No one is allowed to stop Layna from getting her candy. It is probably the only food she will kill for, and the crew may have already pushed it.
—Order #73: Layna is not allowed to use the crew as practice targets.
—Order #74: Bad days happen, but the crew needs to make sure Sello is not the cause.
—Order #75: No one is allowed to challenge Layna to hide in a locked room. The captain is certain those who make the attempt will not survive.
—Order #76: The crew is not allowed to get animals drunk.
—Order #77: The appropriate response to being arrested is to comply with the guard, not flirt with them
Order #77 Addendum: Mister Flower, that was funny. Don't ever do it again.
—Order #78: Line is not allowed to steal women's underwear. Whatever punishment you get, you deserve, so we won't cover for you.
—Order #79: This ship will never go to Timbre Island again.
—Order #80: Dholit is not allowed to interact with Captain Alfonzo.
Order #80 Addendum: ARE YOU TRYING TO GET ME KILLED!?
—Order #81: As much as it helps, let's try not to make it look like we actually have our assassin do assassinations.
—Order #82: Sello is not allowed to dine out, under supervision or not.
—Order #83: The crew is no longer allowed to host animal sacrifice on-board. Seriously, the other captains think we're nuts. And the cleanup sucks.
—Order #84: Sello is no longer allowed to get undressed during social events.
—Order #85: Dholit and Layna are not allowed to catch the veil at a wedding.
—Order #86: When the crew is invited to a banquet, eat. Food fights are not allowed.
Order #86 Addendum: Your food fights escalate into fistfights, so, no, not even if you are just messing around.
—Order #87: Not allowed to hurt new crewmembers. The captain knows it is inevitable, but at least give them a chance to get used to things.
—Order #88: The command staff is certain that Layna understands Hylian. The rest of the crew needs to watch what they say around her.
—Order #89: Contests of flatulence need to be held in a low-traffic area. Seriously, guys, that's gross.
Order #89 Addendum: No one is allowed to invalidate a woman's win on the basis that "women do not fart".
Order #89 Addendum 2: Also, no one is allowed to pester the captain about who wins such a contest. Not only was the captain not there, the captain does not want to acknowledge the existence of such contests.
—Order #90: Don't leave Sello in a locked room alone. I don't know what he did to that lock, but I swear that thing looked at me before I smashed it.
—Order #91: Airman Lawrence is not allowed to use the galley until that smell goes away.
—Order #92: Lady Leeta does not need to know everything about the Island Symphony's travels.
Order #92 Addendum: Lady Leeta does not need to hear lies about the captain's personal life, either.
—Order #93: Please use the gangplanks when boarding or leaving the ship. Jumping over the side makes the captain nervous.
—Order #94: If the Sail Tavern is going to be the scene of a brawl, at least try not to throw drunks at the owner.
Order #94 Addendum: Yes, this includes Sello. What are you, a moron?
Order #94 Addendum 2: If the captain's grandfather clocks you, understand that it is only because the captain himself legally cannot do that.
Order #94 Addendum 3: Okay, time for the death penalty. If any of you get into a fight in my mom's bar, you stay and clean it all up.
Order #94 Addendum 4 (Added by Lady Leeta): Rescinded. They aren't that bad, Link.
—Order #95: Further mention of the backwards-barking dog will merit personal time with Dholit.
Order #95 Addendum: No, Dholit.
Order #95 Addendum 2: Also no, Dholit.
—Order #96: Do not give out pieces of the captain's wardrobe as memorabilia of the battle with Cunimincus. All crewmembers who kept a piece are ordered to give them back.
Order #96 Addendum: Yes, Dholit, I want my underwear back, too.
—Order #97: No flirting with the dockmasters. A bunch of them are married.
Order #97 Addendum: Yes, Dholit, she's married, too.
—Order #98: Do not imitate Sello to get out of a conversation. Apparently, this is one of the few things that consistently offends him.
—Order #99: No one is allowed to sell Sello.
—Order #100: By any and all means, do not allow the Sorian Mystics to get their hands on Sello again. The world will not survive.
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Tale #28 of the Island Symphony – END
NOTICE: As stated above, these are semi-canon with the Sky Lines stories. Not that anyone consistently paid attention to these orders, as evidenced by the numerous addendums.