A/N: Hey everyone, I hope you are having a good summer so far. I'm sorry for being gone for so long again. I hope you like the new chapter, please let me know what you think!
~ Chapter 110 ~
The night before the transplant was to take place, Regina was unable to sleep. She spent the majority of the night tossing and turning, or watching over Emma as the blonde slept. Around four in the morning she was able to fall asleep for a few hours, and when she woke up she found Emma lying awake beside her. Emma blushed a little when she was caught gazing, but she whispered a sweet "morning Regina."
"Good morning." Regina responded softly, closing her eyes again.
"Did you sleep well?" Emma asked, reaching out to brush her fingers through Regina's hair.
"Mhmm." Regina responded.
"Liar." Emma smiled softly. "Are you nervous about today?"
Regina's eyes blinked open to meet Emma's. "A little." She admitted.
"Yeah… I kind of am too. But we'll be okay Regina."
Regina breathed a deep sigh, resting her head on her hand against the pillow. "Emma, are you absolutely certain you still want to do this?" She asked, her eyes narrowing in concern. "There's still time to change your mind."
"It'd be a little late to back out now!" Emma grinned. "But yeah, I'm sure."
At the look on Regina's face Emma added. "One hundred percent sure. I've never been more sure of anything in my life. I promise."
Regina gave a small, reassured smile. "Okay." She whispered, cuddling close to the other woman. She closed her eyes as she felt Emma stroking her hair again.
"I love you," Emma mumbled. "That's why going through with this surgery was never a question for me. I want to do it. I need to do it." Emma closed her eyes too, taking in the comforting scent of Regina's familiar perfume and hair products. "I love you so much Regina. Have I mentioned that?"
The brunette sighed contentedly. "I wish we could just stay here all day."
"Yeah, that'd be nice."
They were quiet for a few minutes, just lying in each other's arms and trying to ignore the fact that soon they would have to get up to get ready for the hospital.
Regina frowned. "Emma?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure," Emma said, opening her eyes.
Regina lifted her head a little, but didn't meet Emma's eyes. "Emma what do you see in me?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean… why? Why do you love me?"
Emma sat up. "Why?" She asked in astonishment. "Because you're you."
Regina was silent for a few moments before her eyes raised towards Emma's. "That's not really an answer."
Emma cleared her throat. "I know," she said apologetically. "I'm just not always… you know… great at discussing my own feelings. Isn't it enough that I just love you the way you are? Regina to me, you are perfect."
Regina didn't respond, she just relaxed into Emma's embrace again, and so Emma continued.
"You're smart, beautiful… you took in Henry and gave him a better home than I ever could have hoped for him. You were always there for him, even when he was being a jerk to you. You have a good heart Regina, some people can't see it but you do. When you care about someone you're fierce, in a good way. You would do anything for them. Regina, you've been there for me too, in ways no one else ever has been."
"What do you mean? I haven't done anything."
Emma shook her head. "It all began when you let me take Henry to Boston with me. I'm gonna be honest, I never saw that coming. Back then I thought I was going to have to start a custody battle or something. I didn't trust you with him at the time. I couldn't see that you had given everything to him… love, a good home, the chance to grow up to be whatever he wanted to be."
Regina breathed a heavy sigh, closing her eyes at the painful memory. "I didn't want to let him come here with you. When you took him from me I hated you so much."
Emma frowned, nodding. "Then why did you let me? You had known me only a couple of months, I was practically a stranger."
Regina shook her head. "I did it for Henry. I didn't want to accept it but a part of me believed he could be right, that it was something he needed. I started to believe him when he said I was incapable of loving him… after all, I had been told similar things from others before him. Emma… you know I wasn't in a good place back then. I let you take him because I wanted him to be happy, and somehow… I just knew you would take good care of him. No matter how much I loathed you… by some instinct I trusted you. You were a stranger but I felt like I'd known you forever." Regina wiped a tear from her eye. "As much as I hated the whole situation, I needed to put him first, I needed to let him go. I knew he would be okay with you."
"Really?" "Emma asked in quiet amazement.
Regina nodded.
Emma breathed a heavy sigh. "Thank you," she said, holding Regina even closer. "Not so much for the loathing me part… but for the other stuff? Yeah." Emma said with a look, causing Regina to give a small smile and an eye roll. Emma tried to remember where she had been before Regina had started talking. "Where was I… oh yeah. When Henry and I came back to Storybrooke, you opened up your home to me and let me stay with you guys."
"That was because I had no say in the matter." Regina said with a smirk.
"Of course you did. You could have thrown me out at any time. I don't think either of us realized it at the time but we needed each other. You needed someone to be there for you after your release from the hospital and Regina, I needed someone to be there for me too. I had no one before I came to Storybrooke. But now? Your family has become my family, and my family has become your family. Both of us started off in this world completely on our own. I think we were destined to find each other."
Regina was gazing into Emma's eyes and Emma couldn't tell what impact her words had had.
Emma covered her face in her hands. "Ugh, sorry… see I'm total crap at this! I love you because you're unapologetically you and you always will be. I've never met anyone like you before, and I don't think anyone else could ever hope to compete with you. Your strength Regina… your love, your beauty – both inside and out – you're amazing. And seriously, I don't think I'll ever understand why someone like you would even consider being with someone like me."
Regina's eyes softened. "Emma I'm not perfect. And to be quite honest, I can't understand why you would choose to be with someone like me when there is a whole world of men and women who would kill to be with someone like you. There are so many other people who would be better for you than I am. People who have never hurt anyone else and who don't attract enemies or danger wherever they go."
"Yeah…" Emma nodded, pretending to consider it. "You know what? I think you might be right. What have I been thinking all this time?"
Regina froze for a second, eyes widening.
"I should open up a quest for all the eligible people of the world." Emma raised her hands as she pictured it. "The one who brings me Dr. Whale's head can have my hand in marriage and a spare set of keys to my car."
Regina playfully smacked Emma's shoulder. She tried to look annoyed but she wasn't successful.
Emma laughed, holding her shoulder where Regina had hit her. "This is what I'm trying to say Regina! There is only one person for me and that person is you. We're meant to be together, I know we are. I may not be the best poet in the world but I love you! I'll continue to say it until you stop doubting. And once you do stop doubting, I'll just keep saying it because Regina, I love you, and I always will love you."
Regina seemed to relax a bit. "I love you too Emma." She said softly, resting against Emma's chest.
"Okay. Now my turn." Emma said, shifting in her seat expectantly. When Regina looked up at her in confusion Emma added, "what do you see in me?"
Regina gave a small smile. She sat up and caressed Emma's face gently. "That's easy," she said. "I see the bravest, kindest, truest soul that ever lived. Emma, you stood by me even when everyone told you that I was dangerous, that I was the enemy who needed to be destroyed. You gave me a chance, and believed in me, and made me feel like I finally had somewhere special to belong. Emma, you were the first person to accept me for who I am, and not for someone you wanted me to be."
Emma blushed. "Aw… Regina. I'm not all that, but thanks for saying it."
"I mean every word." Regina said softly. "You're a wonderful woman Miss Swan, and I couldn't imagine being with anyone else."
Emma's eyes were glistening as she listened. She leaned in and shared a soft kiss with the brunette. "Marry me Regina." She whispered.
"Wh–" Regina stammered, her eyes flying open in surprise. "What?" She breathed.
Emma too looked surprised at her own words, but she quickly composed herself. "Marry me," she repeated softly, running her hands gently down Regina's arms. "I want you to be my wife. I want to share the rest of my life with you and I want it to be official."
Regina's eyes were swimming as she gave a tiny, emotional laugh of disbelief. "Emma…" She whispered, beaming up at the other woman. "Oh Emma, I would love nothing more."
Emma looked so relieved and happy that Regina's eyes turned pained.
She squeezed Emma's hand, and tilted her head sideways as she looked up into Emma's eyes. "But I can't agree to marry you. At least not yet. Not until I get better."
Emma's expression fell. "Why?"
"Because when we get married, I want to be able to fully enjoy the ceremony and enjoy our time together. I want to have the wedding knowing we have a future together. Otherwise I fear it would be too hard. That goes for an engagement too."
"But we'd be together." Emma responded weakly.
Regina shook her head, smiling tearfully. "We already are together, and I've cherished every moment of it. If we get married, I want it to be a celebration of our shared future. Otherwise, I just want to enjoy the rest of our time together the way we are."
"But you're getting the transplant today." Emma said weakly.
"Yes I am." Regina whispered, cupping Emma's face with her hands. "And when I'm fully recovered, you can ask me again. Okay?"
"Okay," Emma agreed in a tearful whisper.