Author's note: CW for mentioning wounds, knives, and possibly emetophobia? I'm still unsure whether "feeling like" you're going to should be tagged or not.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Chapters 6 and 7 have been deleted for now until I figure things out for the story. I am currently on hiatus. Sorry for the confusion and thank you for the support

6/19: I will be returning to posting chapters in July :)

-x-

Remus stared in complete shock, unable to comprehend or believe what he was looking at. For a second he thought maybe he was still asleep, still dreaming.

"Can I come in? S'bit chilly out."

"Um… y-yeah…?"

Remus climbed off his dresser, keeping his wand up so Sirius could see as he slid through the narrow window down into Remus's room, landing on the dresser with a slight thud. Remus backed up so his friend could get off the dresser. First Sirius dragged some things into the room, which he set on the dresser then, once on the floor, he turned around, beaming proudly at Remus as he held his arms out.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Remus hissed out.

Sirius's smile faltered. "What, no hello?"

Sirius's scent hit Remus's nostrils and he stiffened, squaring his shoulders. "Rather, I think the more imperative question is why do you smell like blood?"

Sirius dropped his arms. "That didn't take long. Really? I haven't seen you in a month and this is the greeting I get?"

Remus blinked at him then stepped forward, accepting the hug. It felt so warm and nice, until he carefully hugged back and heard Sirius's sharp intake of breath. "You're injured."

"A little bit. Got into a fight with one of my cousins, that's all." Sirius gave him another squeeze then let go, pushing his hair back as he surveyed the room.

"How… did…" He glanced at the things Sirius had pulled in. An old-fashioned broom and a camo-cloak which only really worked for night-fliers. "Your cousins. You were…"

"In Pembrokeshire," Sirius finished for him. "Which, by the way, is somewhat near here despite what you said in your letter, you little liar. Less than a hundred miles."

"You flew?"

Sirius folded his arms, leaning against the desk. "Yeah. Everyone was mad at me. I had to get away for a while. I was going to go to Uncle Alphard's, but he's in France until tomorrow. I wasn't sure what to do but then found a map and saw Dragon's Field was only a little under two hours by flight on that old broom."

Remus frowned. "How did you know I lived in Dragon's Field? How—how did you know where I lived at all?!"

"You told me," Sirius said. "Remember?"

"No!"

"Over Christmas, you said it took a lot of petrol to get from Dragon's Field to London. And you've talked enough about your house so I knew what I was looking for." He looked exceedingly proud as he spoke. "An attached garage and a garden out back with a high stone wall, a couple of miles outside of the nearby wizarding community. I circled around till I saw this place."

Remus pressed his fingers against his temple, head reeling over all of this. "You—"

"I know I can't stay," Sirius said quickly. "I just… wanted to rest somewhere. And I wanted to see you."

That's when Remus realized Sirius was very slightly slurring his words. "Are you drunk?"

"No, wish I was though," he laughed. "Make things a hell of a lot better, I think."

Remus thought about that then stood on tiptoe, bringing his still-lit wand up to look into Sirius's eyes. "You're under the Confundus spell," he whispered.

Sirius held his forefinger and thumb up. "A wee bit, yes. It's mostly worn off. Though honestly, I did spend an hour or so zigzagging around above the mountains up north."

Remus shook his head. "Um. Come—come here, you should sit down." He dragged his chair over and Sirius slumped into it, wavering a little bit. "You're—you were injured and had the Confundus spell put on you?"

"Mmm," Sirius affirmed, rubbing his forehead. "I'm all right. As I said, I needed somewhere to sort've… rest a bit until I can get to Uncle Alphard's."

"What… your family… they'll…"

"They won't realize I'm missing until tomorrow," Sirius said. "They won't really care either. They'll figure I went to Uncle Alphard's."

Remus frowned. "What if they do realize you're missing?"

"Remy, you know, it's been weeks and all you're doing is giving me an inquisition," sighed Sirius. "Didn't you miss me at all?"

"Yes," he replied immediately, swallowing when Sirius looked up at him with a sweet smile. "I missed you very much. I—I think perhaps we should take care of the wounds, at least." Sirius carefully pulled off his jacket, revealing a t-shirt underneath. "You wore a t-shirt to the wedding?"

"Wedding's tomorrow," Sirius chuckled. "I wore the t-shirt to give them fits. Being more of a Muggle design, and all. Ow!" He flinched when he finished peeling the jacket sleeve off. There was blood soaked through his left sleeve, smeared down his elbow and forearm, a dark bruise peeping out from under the collar on his other side, and also blood soaked into his shirt on his side.

It took a lot of effort not to simply hug him again, to hold onto him. "What happened?"

"Told you. Fight," Sirius said.

Remus shook his head. "A fight did all this?"

"My cousins fight hard," Sirius answered rather darkly.

Remus held back his retort that he very much so doubted this story. "I'll be right back. I'm going to get some healing potions. Stay—stay right there."

"Where am I gonna go? Hogsmeade?"

Remus rolled his eyes, picking his wand back up. "Nox. You're very good at getting into mischief, you know. Stay put."

He left his room, being as quiet as possible when opening and shutting the door, then creeping up the stairs. Every few seconds he paused, cocking his head to listen for his parents' sleep-breathing. If they find Sirius, oh Merlin. Slowly he made his way to the ground floor bathroom and opened the cupboard that held all the potions. Remus studied them then chose a few. Carefully he shut the cupboard door and made his way back down into his room.

Sirius was standing up, gently stroking Arthur's chest and cooing to him.

"I told you to stay put," Remus said after the door was shut, still unable to believe Sirius was in his room.

"I'm still here."

Remus dumped the jars and vials on his desk. "Yes, bruised, bloodied, and Confounded. Sit down and take your shirt off."

Sirius scoffed, a faint blush appearing in his pale cheeks. "Now that's quite an order. As tempting as it is to strip, I can take care of the injuries myself."

Remus hesitated, glancing at him, wishing he wouldn't make comments like that. "How far onto your back does the injury on your side go?"

"I can take care of them myself," Sirius repeated. "Turn around."

"You—you need to clean them off. Clean the blood off."

"All right, where's the loo?" Remus went over to the curtains, pulling them aside. Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Remy, why've you got a loo in your bedroom?"

"Because it's easier to take care of everything during the days of the full moon," Remus replied tightly, not wanting to get into how awkward his horrible cellar room really was. Not wanting to get into the fact that the room where he transformed was on the other side of the wall. "Here." He set some flannels on the edge of the sink then stepped back.

Sirius stumbled over and shut the curtains. "Turn around though."

He rolled his eyes but turned around. "I couldn't see through the curtains anyhow—are you all right?" he asked as there was a very pained grunt.

"Yes, fine. Ow… bloody hell there's more blood than I thought, no wonder you got worried. Oww!"

Remus pressed his hands against his face. "How old are your cousins? That did this?"

Sirius let out a rather loud yelp. "Shit, didn't—I'm trying to be quiet. I didn't mean to be loud, that—I didn't wake them did I?"

Remus tiptoed to his door and left, going up the stairs until he could hear the quiet breathing in his parents' room. Then he returned, shutting his bedroom door firmly behind them. "They're still asleep. You didn't answer my question."

"Why d'you need all these healing potions? You heal."

Remus leaned against the wall a few feet away from the curtains. "My lycanthropic abilities don't exactly radiate out of my body and heal other people, as nice as that would be if they did. My parents do occasionally need medical aid."

A bit of the curtain twitched open and Sirius peered out at him. "I've missed you and your sarcasm and sass," he said before disappearing again. "What's it like, having a loo in your bedroom?"

Awful and I hate it. "Helpful," he said. He looked down at his clothes, suddenly grateful he had worn a baggy shirt to bed. Some of the t-shirts he wore at home, the sleeves were short enough that the edge of his scar could be seen. This shirt's sleeves were baggy enough to hide that. "Nobody did anything about your cousins hurting you like this?" Silence. "Sirius? Sirius?"

"Fine," he croaked out, not sounding fine at all. "Just don't feel too good."

Remus moved closer to the curtains. "Do you need hel—"

"No!" Then, "Maybe. Not—not at the moment. In a minute. Ooof." After a few minutes Sirius pulled the curtains open revealing he was still in his bloodied shirt. "I can't really reach one of the wounds—er, a cut on my back, could… could you help?"

Remus went over, picking up the vial of potion to disinfect open wounds. "Why did you put your shirt back on? It's all bloodied. Besides, you'll need to take it off for me to get to the cut."

"No," Sirius murmured, sinking down onto the toilet. "You can reach up underneath. It's around here." He twisted his arm back, motioning. "There. A little bit over and up."

Remus dumped some of the salve on his fingers. "It'd be a lot easier if I could see it." He hesitated, remembering something that had happened during their second year. Sirius's shirt had been yanked up and Peter had seen scars on Sirius's body which Sirius vehemently denied. "If you're worried about me seeing any scars—"

Sirius leapt to his feet, nearly falling over. He would have, if Remus hadn't grabbed his arm. "What are you talking about?!" he hissed out, furious. "What scars?"

Remus stared up into Sirius's silvery eyes, tired of this dance that had been happening for a long time. "Your scars," he said firmly, lifting his chin. "The ones Peter saw. The ones you insist you don't have, but that's why you never take your shirt off around anyone—"

"Neither do you!" Sirius accused.

"Yes," Remus snapped right back. "because I have scars from being bitten by a werewolf, very noticeably so! Ninety-nine percent of all scars on a witch or wizard is from dark magic. Now, I won't ask why you have had dark magic used on you enough to leave scars you wish to hide, although I think I've got a pretty good conclusion."

Sirius whirled around, stumbling across the room. "I shouldn't have come here."

"Sirius—" Sirius grabbed the camo-cloak then swayed, putting his hands on the desk to steady himself. "For Merlin's sake, you're in no condition to be flying."

"I flew here, didn't I?"

"Yes and it's a miracle you didn't wreck," Remus said, exasperated. "You're still under that spell. Look, I—I'm sorry, all right? I just want—want to help you. It would be easier for me to apply the potion if I can see the wound but… I can do it without seeing, if you—if you insist."

Sirius curled his fingers into the fabric of the camo-cloak.

"At least let me heal the cut on your back before you go flying off into the night so you don't bleed out over London and go crashing into Big Ben."

Sirius grunted and sank down onto the chair. "Yeah."

Remus went over and slid his fingers up the back of Sirius's shirt. It felt very strange, very uncomfortable, and also very… nice which was not a proper feeling to have, especially under these circumstances. Biting his bottom lip, Remus moved his hand until his fingers felt what seemed to be a deep gash. This couldn't have been gotten from a fight unless someone used a strong cutting spell. Or an actual knife.

Sirius covered his mouth to quiet the cry of pain. Remus began running his hand along the gash, slathering the potion into the wound. He had to pull his bloodied hand out of Sirius's shirt to get more disinfectant potion then put his hand back to finish. Then he washed his hands off before dumping a bunch of cut-healing potion into one of them, trying to ignore the fact his hands had been covered in his friend's blood.

"This will hurt a bit as the wound is deep and I need to… get the potion in there."

Sirius nodded and bit down on his finger, letting out a hiss when Remus stuck his hand back up Sirius's shirt to apply the potion. He made pained sort of gurgling sounds as the potion was pushed into the wound. By the time Remus was finished, there were a few tears on Sirius's cheeks and bite marks on his finger.

"Thank you," he said when Remus took his hand back out.

"I still don't think you should go." Remus went to wash his hands again. This time they were trembling, still feeling the deep wound on his friend's back. "You need to rest."

Sirius stretched his legs out. "Where am I supposed to do that? I don't have money for an inn room, if there's one in town."

Remus turned off the faucets, staring at his reflection. The words came out without him even thinking about them. Or rather, he had thought about them, he just didn't think-think about them. It was the first thing that came into his head and instead of debating over whether it was a good choice or not, he went with it.

"You can stay here. What time does your uncle get home tomorrow? What were you even planning on doing if you couldn't get into his house?"

"Sit on his roof till he got home," Sirius answered, pushing his hair back again. "He'll be home by one or two tomorrow. I can't stay here, as much as I'd like to. You can't have friends."

Remus turned, pressing himself back against the sink. He was being an absolute moron and he knew it. But… he was also far too worried about Sirius's health. "I can lock my door. If my parents come downstairs you can hide by the time the door is unlocked. My father rarely comes down here, and Mum wouldn't be able to unlock the door since she can't use spells. It—it'll be fine."

Sirius met his gaze. "Are you… sure?"

No, he thought, wiping his hands off on his pajama bottoms. He wasn't sure. He was completely not sure. It was a stupid idea, a phenomenally stupid idea! Sirius's nature was contagious. "Yes. Stay. It's better than you flying off like this. I don't think it'd be safe for you. The spell is wearing off however you've suffered blood loss. You need food and rest."

Sirius stood up. "Can't." He picked the camo-cloak up. "These barely work in the daylight. I have to go soon. It's several hours flight to Uncle Alphard's and the sun will be up."

Remus frowned, mind whirling as he tried to figure out a way to stop Sirius from doing something utterly stupid and reckless. He could see him swerving in his delirium or weakness and crashing into a tree. Or a Muggle plane. "Is your uncle's house connected by Floo?"

"Er, yes? But I know yours isn't."

"The pub in town is," Remus explained.

Sirius set the cloak back down. "I haven't got any Floo powder, nor do I have money for any. I know you don't have money either."

"I have a couple of knuts, it should be enough to buy a handful of Floo pow—wait! I do have Floo powder." He ran over to the wall, prying the stone loose. "I got some earlier this week."

"You—how?"

Remus took the vial out, putting this stone back. "Miss Fawley. She… she knows Arthur isn't up to a trip and sent me some in case I needed her for something." He crossed the room and put the vial in Sirius's hand. "Stay the night and go tomorrow, from the pub. It'll be safer. Look, you can hardly stand."

Sirius was swaying again and sank down into the chair so he wouldn't fall. "I can't take this. What if you have an emergency?"

Remus gave a small laugh at that. "I do have my parents. I appreciate Miss Fawley's concerns however I know I wouldn't use the Floo powder at all. It'd be a waste. Or, as I said, I do have a few knuts, you could take them instead and buy some Floo powder from the pub." He hesitated, a thought crossing his mind. "Fawley didn't have anything to do with you coming here, did she?"

"Miss Fawley?" Sirius looked confused. "No. I haven't had any contact with her since we last saw her at Hogwarts ages ago. Why?"

He shook his head. He hadn't thought this was what Fawley meant in her P.S. since this was so absurdly stupid and risky; she was a lot more cautious than that. But he had to make sure. Which meant there was going to be another surprise at some point soon…

"Nothing. It doesn't matter. Anyway, you can stay here and use the Floo powder tomorrow."

"How will you hide me from your parents until it's time for me to go?" Sirius asked, staring down at the vial.

Remus shrugged. "Dad works all day and—oh. Wait, no, he's not working this week."

"How come?"

"Flobberworm flu, in C—where he works." Remus realized now why Sirius had found out where he lived. He had said too much information, accidentally. Then again, Sirius could easily find out where in Wales the illness was by looking at the Daily Prophet. "In Caerphilly. Anyway, as I said, he never comes down here. We don't even need to stay down here all day." He waved his hand at the window. "We can go out in the woods."

Sirius still looked uncertain. "You are sure?"

"Yes," Remus said, not really sure how he felt about Sirius staying the night in his room. His bedroom! Not his dorm which he shared with several people but his personal bedroom. Sirius. Sirius. In his bedroom. He wiped his hands off on his trousers again, feeling hot and prickly.

After a few seconds of thinking this over Sirius put the vial in his pocket. "I—I guess it would probably be best if I rest instead of flying," he admitted, and Remus sighed with relief. "Everything is a little blurry and I have a nasty headache. I'm getting… I am very exhausted. Plus it means seeing you more." Sirius reached out and mussed up Remus's hair. "Always a plus."

Remus smoothed his hair down, smiling to himself as he turned to go to his dresser. "Here." He dug through the drawers until he found his biggest, loosest pieces of clothing. "These… might sort've fit you." He handed the t-shirt and the joggers to Sirius.

"Remy, you're a foot shorter than me."

"Am not!" Remus stood at his full height which wasn't that much. "I'm much closer to you than that! Maybe… six inches."

Sirius smirked at him. "Yeah? Wanna bet?"

"Seven, eight at most," Remus grumbled, realizing it had to be more than that.

"How tall are you?" Sirius put his hand out flat against the top of Remus's head.

"… four foot eight," he sniffled.

Sirius bent in, smirking more. "Five foot six. Ten inches—"

"Shut up—"

"Ten inches, Remy, is not eight at most."

"Shut up! I heal you and this is the thanks I get. Besides, ten inches is not a foot either!"

Sirius laughed softly as he made his way back to the lavatory, shutting the curtains so he could change. Remus sat down on the chair, wrapping his arms around himself as he tried not to dwell on the fact Sirius was getting undressed in his bedroom.

Then realization hit.

Where is he going to sleep?

Remus's heart rate shot up so fast he thought it might explode out of his chest. He hadn't been thinking about that part of things. All he had been focused on was not letting Sirius go off flying again. This thought seemed to dawn on Sirius as well, since that was the first thing he asked after emerging from behind the curtains in a rather short t-shirt and ridiculously short joggers showing off a great deal of ankle and calf. Remus clapped a hand over his mouth, trying not to laugh.

"Least it fits some," Sirius said, looking down at his bare ankles. "Anyway, er, we could put some blankets in the bathtub. I could sleep in there."

The bathtub was up against the wall shared with his transformation room. The thought of Sirius sleeping so close to where he tore himself up was absolutely sickening. "Eh? No, that—that wouldn't be very comfortable," he managed to get out, trying not to panic too much. Too close to that room.

He got up, chewing at his nails, knowing perfectly well the best place was his bed. The floor would be too cold. Besides, that would be rude. He could sleep on the floor. It was something he had done plenty of times before, in his tiny stone room where he transformed. Sleeping on a stone floor with no blankets or pillows. He suspected if he suggested Sirius take the bed and he take the floor, Sirius wouldn't like that too much.

"You—you can have my bed."

Sirius seemed rather startled at that. "What about you?"

Remus avoided his eyes as he answered with, "We've shared a bed before."

"Y-yes," Sirius stammered out. It was strange hearing him stammer. "With James and Peter."

"You offered to—I mean, if you don't want to," Remus said quickly, realizing maybe things had changed.

"I did offer," Sirius said slowly. "You didn't… want to think about it."

"Well." Remus went over, taking his blanket and shaking it out. "There's no point not. I mean, if you don't care. If you do I can sleep in the tub or on the floor if—"

"Don't be stupid. That's my specialty, not yours. What's that?"

Remus's eyes went huge as Sirius took several long strides over and picked Gwyllgi up. Shit, shit, shit! "N-nothing!" He snatched it from Sirius and ran to his dresser, shoving Gwyllgi into a drawer. "My—my mum gets upset if he's not out. She got it for me a long time ago and thinks it's, uh, you know, very special. It's silly but important to her." Sorry, Gwyllgi, he thought as he shut the drawer. He had to open it again to push Gwyllgi in a bit more, as one of his fuzzy black ears had been sticking out.

"Do… you really not mind if we, er, share?"

Remus went back to his bed to put his blanket back down, hoping Sirius couldn't hear how hard his heart was pounding. It sort've felt like someone put a Confundus spell on him. He was dizzy and out of it. "I don't," he said, the words sounding funny since his tongue felt thick. "Er, if you don't."

"I don't mind. I told you before, if—if you wanted, when you had nightmares, I didn't mind."

Remus thought he might throw up. He had been avoiding thinking about Sirius's offer from a few weeks ago and now this. The biggest problem was his bed at home was smaller than the ones at school. The ones at school were small doubles, and his was a single. But they'd have more room than when they shared with the others, since all four Marauders had been on James's bed that night.

Not enough room though.

"Right." He tugged at the sleeve of his pajama top as he went to his door to lock it. If his mother tried to come down the next morning and found it locked he knew it would be hard to explain but he figured he'd be able to find an excuse. When he turned he saw Sirius standing by the bed, hand to his head as he swayed back and forth. "Sirius?"

"I think you were definitely right." He sat down on the bed, putting his head in both hands. "About me flying tonight. Don't feel good. Oh wow, it's getting worse."

Remus fetched his last clean flannel; Sirius had bloodied up five of them. "That's the spell coming to an end." He ran cold water into the cloth then brought it to his friend, pressing it against Sirius's forehead. "Remember when James had the spell on him?"

Sirius laughed. "Merlin, that was hilarious. Course, he had a concussion too. I don't think I have one."

Remus took in a quick breath. "Were you hit in the head?"

"Not that I remember."

Remus fiddled with the hem of his shirt. "Are you hungry? I could get you something."

Sirius shook his head. "A little but I'm more tired than anything else." Right on cue he gave a loud yawn, rubbing his tired eyes.

He wanted to ask about the wounds again but didn't want to upset Sirius. I can't let this go though. "You—you know that… I'm always here for you. If you need to talk about anything."

Sirius pushed himself farther back onto the bed until he was against the wall. "I know, thanks," he said in a light tone. "How do you usually sleep? I figured I should sleep against the wall, so you can get out of bed faster if—if anyone comes downstairs."

"That's fine." Remus stood there, staring as Sirius slid under his blanket. Bloody Merlin's hell what was I thinking? He didn't know if he could do this, not with everything that had happened since November. November? Was it November when Lily insisted he fancied someone? It was like all his wrong feelings had grown since then.

Sirius was laying in his bed with his head on one of his pillows, his black wavy locks spread out on his pillowcase. If he didn't look so bedraggled, exhausted, and miserable, it'd be so… beautiful.

Everything had happened too fast. How long since Sirius tapped at the window? It felt like only five minutes but when Remus glanced at the clock he realized it had been almost forty-five minutes already.

Remus sucked in some air and climbed into bed, keeping as much space between them as possible, not that there was much he could do. He could feel the warmth coming from Sirius's body. Sirius's own heart was going quite fast and his breathing seemed a little ragged; Remus grabbed the damp cloth, passing it over.

"I think you're still, um, dealing with the spell coming off of you," he explained, his body so close to Sirius. "Your heart rate is very high."

"Oh, yeah, that's… yeah," Sirius said, pressing the cold flannel against his forehead. "Still not feeling well. You can hear my heart rate?"

"Er. Y-yes."

"Oh. Hmm."

They were close enough that Remus could just feel Sirius's breath on the back of his neck. He squeezed his eyes shut, wishing he had insisted on sleeping on the floor or bathtub. But no, he had done this. It was too late, they were… they were in bed together!

He offered though, before. Sirius had suggested it as a way of helping Remus the night he had nightmares. He had said when he had nightmares and shared a bed with James, his nightmares weren't as bad. And the night all the Marauders shared a bed somehow Remus hadn't had nightmares despite it being right after the events down in the cave and passages which should have given Remus nightmares.

"Remus?" Sirius whispered.

"Hmm?"

"Thank you. For everything."

"Of course." Remus lay stiffly almost right on the edge of his bed, staring at the darkness in his room. He was terrified to move. Terrified to accidentally brush against Sirius. Terrified that he might start thinking things. "I did miss you."

"I missed you too. A lot. I can't wait for September."

"Nor me."

"G'nite, Remy."

"Goodnight, Sirius."

Remus lay awake for a very long time, listening to Sirius's quiet, sleep-breathing, until he finally drifted into uneasy sleep himself.