Author's note: Well I'm back! I'm excited to be back and posting chapters again and I hope y'all are excited too! In regards to this chapter obviously some things are changed from the original version and I would appreciate it if we just… moved on. Please. I am begging everyone for this. I'd prefer no comparing this one to the original version or anything either, please and thank you. Let's just enjoy the story!

I have some other news I want to talk about but I'm going to put it in the note for the next chapter. Also right now I am going to be only doing one chapter a week for a few weeks as I get back into things. I'll be posting every Tuesday. I can't wait to get back into two a week but I don't want to push myself too much right now, which will be clear why in chapter 7's author note.

Also I decided to keep the "screw it" chapter up because of all the amazing and supportive comments, so I hope that's okay

-x-

When Remus came to in the morning, he was rather confused for a few fleeting seconds. There was an arm draped across him, and a leg on top of his own. At first he closed his eyes again, relishing in the sensation, until it kicked in…

His eyes snapped wide open and his heart jumped into his throat. During the night Sirius had snuggled close to him and was partially wrapped around him, his quiet breathing fluttering against Remus's ear. He was snuggled right up against him like he had been the last time they were in a bed together. This time, however, there was no James on Remus's other side to balance things out.

Don't panic, he told himself as the need to panic almost overwhelmed him. You've seen him like this with James loads of times. Usually when James and Sirius shared a bed, they'd wake up tangled together. He wondered if James ever woke up feeling the same sense of comfort and enjoyment that Remus felt.

Right, need to get out of bed, he thought, not sure what time it was but figuring the alarm would go off any minute.

Or you could stay curled up in Sirius's arms, whispered a nasty voice.

No, he thought, trying to slide free. He wasn't going to deal with wrong feelings today. He refused.

Are they wrong?

YES!

It took a lot of slow finagling, but finally Remus got himself free of Sirius's arm, putting a pillow in his place. Sirius wrapped his arms around the pillow, burying his face against that.

Remus tiptoed as quietly as he could across the floor, since Sirius was notoriously a light sleeper. You could hardly do anything without waking him up. The rings of curtains made their soft shlink sound as he closed the curtain, and he suspected even that woke Sirius up.

He waited and when Sirius didn't make any noise, he sank down onto the toilet. Only then did he manage to breathe, putting his hands against his face as he tried not to think about how nice it felt to be held so close to someone. How nice to be held by someone male. The nasty voice kept trying to bring up arguments and he shut them down. I'm not, I'm not, he repeated, trying to convince himself it was completely normal to feel safe and content waking up in your male best friend's arms.

After a few seconds he nervously used the loo, knowing perfectly well that it would definitely wake Sirius up if he wasn't already awake. Sometimes it amazed him at how light a sleeper Sirius was. The slightest sound!

"Remus?"

"Er, in here," he answered as he washed his hands.

"What time is it?" Sirius yawned.

Remus opened the curtains. "Erm, about eight-ten, I think. Nearly. My alarm hasn't gone off yet and that's what time it does." He went over to turn the alarm off and check the time. "Yeah, it's about eight."

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Really? Slept more than I thought I would." He groaned as he stretched, the short t-shirt riding up on his stomach. Remus looked away. "I slept very well. How about you?"

That was when Remus realized he hadn't had any nightmares. None at all after falling asleep with Sirius in his bed. Is that really the answer? he wondered, frowning. Did sharing a bed really help that much or was it mere coincidence? He thought again about how comfortable it was when he woke up. Safe. Protected.

"Er, I did too…"

"You sound surprised."

He shrugged, setting the clock back down. "I've been having nightmares every night, more or less."

Sirius sat upright, his long black hair tumbling down to his shoulders. Remus felt a deep ache inside of his chest at seeing Sirius in rumpled sleeping clothes, in Remus's bed. "You never said that in either of your letters!"

"It's not that big of a deal," Remus said, going over to his dresser to find clean clothes. "It's to be expected, all things considering."

Sirius's brow furrowed. "Do you… want to talk about it?"

Remus almost said yes, almost told him, then he closed his mouth and tilted his head. "Do you want to talk about your wounds?"

Sirius pressed his lips tight, eyes narrowing. "I told you—"

"Yes, yes, you and your cousin got into a fight," sighed Remus, rubbing his forehead and realizing he had made things so awkward again. Or more awkward? Everything had felt awkward since Sirius showed up!

"Yes. Um. Can I use the loo?"

Remus nodded so Sirius disappeared behind the curtains. "We've got a potion that cleans blood out of laundry, I'll sneak some down to try to clean your shirt and jacket. I'll also try to bring some breakfast down too, as soon as I can." He clutched his own clothes, a little afraid to go upstairs to his parents. Part of him suspected they'd know as soon as they saw him that there was someone else in the cellar.

Sirius stayed the night, he thought, curling forward as he hugged his clothes to his chest. It was getting hard to breathe. Why did I do that? My parents are going to MURDER me if they ever find out!

You couldn't let him fly off, he wasn't well enough.

It was incredibly risky, but Remus knew he had done the right thing. Sirius had been in no condition to do any more flying.

When Sirius was done Remus went back behind the curtains to change clothes, trying not to think about the fact that he was completely naked with Sirius in the room only a curtain apart. About that time he heard his mother shouting that breakfast was ready. Remus tugged his shirt on, terrified that for some reason Sirius would answer her. Of course he stayed silent, it was a silly fear.

"JUST A MOMENT!" Remus shouted at his door, tugging at his sleeve until it covered his scar. The t-shirt was baggy so the sleeves easily went past his elbows. "Right. I'll be back as soon as possible with some food. The water in the sink is safe to drink. This cup is clean if you need any. I—I'll be back."

"I won't run off," Sirius said, sitting cross-legged on Remus's bed. "I won't make any noise either. You won't hear a peep." Remus nodded and unlocked the door. "Peep," Sirius whispered then fell over, burying his face in Remus's pillow to smother the laughter. "Couldn't resist! I promise I'll be silent." He mimed tapped his lips with his wand.

Remus shut his door behind him then, after thinking about it, locked it behind him. You can do this, it will be fine. He rubbed his hands off on his jeans then ventured up the stairs. Blood was pulsing in his ears and sweat trickled in his armpits. When his parents looked at him, he waited for the inevitable accusation.

"Good morning, darling!" Hope kissed his head as he sat down.

"Morning."

Hope hesitated in the middle of setting a plate down in front of him. "Are you all right? You sound a little hoarse."

Remus took a gulp of water. "Just really thirsty," he promised, trying not to wince when he heard a faint thump from the cellar. He looked back and forth but neither parent seemed to hear.

"So." Lyall sat his paper down, turning his gaze to Remus. He knows, he knows, shit he knows! "I was thinking today we could go for a picnic lunch. A nice walk, a nice lunch… a family day."

Remus's eyes bugged out. Today of all days?!

"That sounds lovely!" Hope clapped her hands. "I can make a nice basket of food."

"No!" Remus cried out, startling both of them. "Er, what I mean is… I—I have a lot of homework I wanted to do today."

Lyall gave him an amused smile. "You have over a month until school starts."

"If you go back," Hope muttered into his glass of juice.

Remus chose to ignore her. "Well. Um…" He tried to think of something to get out of this. If worse came to worst he could leave with his family, and Sirius could hang around until it was time to Floo to his uncle but Remus wanted to stay with him! Then an absolutely brilliant idea entered his head. He was a genius! "Dad, can I talk to you for a moment? Privately?"

Lyall arched his eyebrows but got up, following Remus into the hallway. "All right, then." He folded his arms, looking down his nose. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," Remus lied. "I was thinking… Mum—you know she's been feeling a bit down about her appearance lately. I was thinking that maybe you should take her for a date. The picnic lunch, the walk, maybe a nice drive. A nice long drive. I mean, when was the last time you two went on a date?" Remus folded his arms as well. "I mean a real date and not a walk in the nearby woods or dancing in our living room?"

Lyall narrowed his eyes. "What are you up to?"

"Wanting to make Mum happy!" he squeaked out. "This would make her very happy! Come on, Dad. She'd be… ecstatic."

"Well." Lyall rubbed his chin in thought. "I suppose it has been a long time since I took her on a date."

"Yes! See? I think Mum deserves a treat like this."

"Yes. You know what? I think you're right." Lyall slowly nodded then pat Remus's shoulder. "Tomorrow I'll take her out."

"Yes! Wait, excuse me?!" Remus whirled around as his father started heading back into the kitchen. "Nonono!" He grabbed his father's arm. "Not tomorrow! Today! It—it should be today!"

Remus felt a shiver go down his back at the look in his father's eyes. "Why?"

He was struggling to control his breathing in order to not sound panicked. "Because…" He began dragging Lyall into the living room. "Look at that beautiful weather! It's supposed to be drizzly tomorrow, isn't it? Besides, tomorrow is Saturday! More people will be out on a Saturday."

Lyall nodded. "You're right. Today would be better." He turned to face Remus, the sort of smile on his face that gave Remus a bad feeling. "What are you up to? And none of that 'for mum' hippogriff shit. Tell me the truth."

Remus began trembling slightly as he stared up through his fringe. "Nothing—"

"Don't give me that," Lyall snapped, grabbing Remus's left upper arm, his fingers digging into the bite scar. It sent waves of pain through his arm since the fingertips were digging into awkward parts of the scar, and he didn't like people touching it anyway. "You are plotting something, you're too eager for this. This isn't like you. So tell me, Remus John, what is going on?"

Remus had no clue what to say and panic settled in. He couldn't tell the truth but he couldn't figure out a lie either. Think, think, think! "I—time—time!" he gasped out. "Time for myself! Dad, I—I l-love Mum so much but she—she c-can be a bit… at me all day! I do—I do have things I need to do and—and that's all. I just want some alone time. Quiet time. Me time. I—I didn't get that yesterday, not properly, since you were here when Mum went out. Plus… I know you don't trust me saying this but she deserves a day, doesn't she?" He looked up into his father's eyes. "To feel special and beautiful, with all your attention on her, and not worrying about me."

Lyall studied him closely, and Remus hoped desperately his father would believe him. Slowly his grip on Remus's arm loosened. "She isn't 'at you', you know," he grumbled, letting go. "She worries about you. You should be grateful."

"I know," he whispered, taking a step back. "I understand."

Lyall rubbed his chin. "She does deserve a special day…" Remus tried not to nod, tried not to show his eagerness. "Well." His eyes darted back to Remus. "I suppose so."

YES!

"But you are on thin ice," he added, pointing at Remus. "If you're up to something, I'll find out about it."

"Not up to anything," he murmured as Lyall returned to the kitchen where he began talking to Hope about having a date, a picnic lunch for the two of them, etc, etc. Remus remained in the living room for a moment, heart pounding at his father's words. The suspicion in Lyall's voice was very frightening and worrisome, but—well, he got what he wanted.

Slowly he returned to the kitchen, trying not to look even more suspicious, trying to keep quiet so Lyall wouldn't turn those curious eyes back on him. At least Hope didn't seem to suspect Remus was behind the idea of a date. She was on cloud nine, beyond excited about the date. Her cheeks were a little flushed and her eyes were sparkling. Then she and Lyall kissed rather passionately.

Ew.

Remus picked at his breakfast before wrapping up his toast in some napkins, shoving them in his pocket. Then he said he was full and would give the rest of his sausages to Arthur. He ran off with the plate, hoping his mother didn't notice he hadn't eaten any of his eggs either. He almost tripped, going down the stairs, and somehow managed to steady himself without dropping the plate though a bit of sausage slipped off.

"Alohomora." He went into his room, locking the door behind him. "Sirius?" He looked around, concerned that he couldn't see his friend. Had Sirius scarpered off?

Then Sirius began wriggling out from under the bed. "I wasn't sure who was coming down the stairs. I thought it was you but wasn't completely certain."

Remus set the plate on his desk and got the toast out from his pocket. He knew he was still trembling from his father's anger, and planned on saying it was from rushing around if Sirius asked. "Mum and Dad are going out later so I can fix you more food when they do." He turned, jumping a little as Sirius was almost in his face. "Um." He couldn't step back, he was against the desk. Sirius was right there.

Remus wondered briefly what it would be like to go on a date, what it'd be like to be kissed like his parents kissed—

Shit.

"How are your wounds doing?" he squeaked, scrambling desperately for something else to think about. "Are they healed?"

"All healed," Sirius said, sliding into his chair, no longer in Remus's face. "Why wouldn't they be? Thank you, by the way. For the food, I mean. Oh, and for the potions though I think I thanked you last night."

They wouldn't be healed if it had been dark magic. Remus chewed at his lip. At least Sirius's cousins—or whoever hurt him—hadn't used dark magic. "I'll go get the potion for your clothes. That will give them plenty of time to dry before you have to go."

Thankfully, when he went upstairs Hope was out of the kitchen. It sounded like she was in her room, getting changed. I hope they have fun, he thought as he went to the cupboard that held laundry things. Even if it was originally to get them out of the house, he knew his idea had been good; something his mother deserved.

Back in his room, he filled his tub with a few inches of water before carefully adding three tablespoons of the blood-cleansing powder. After making sure it was all stirred up, he dumped Sirius's shirt and jacket in, swirling them around in the mixture. By the time Sirius finished eating and joined him at the tub, the water was murky with blood. Remus drained the tub then filled it back up to rinse the clothes out.

Sirius started to say something then stopped.

"What is it?" Remus asked.

"N—nothing." He rubbed the back of his head, looking awkward. "I almost said it's impressive you know how to get blood out of clothes so easily. Then uhh… yeah I realized why you would."

Remus smiled a little at that as he wrung out Sirius's shirt. "I haven't done much since going to Hogwarts, as the house-elves tend to take care of things." He gave it a strong wring, water drizzling out. "I… um, I wanted to apologize. For last night. If I… overstepped anything by demanding you stay."

Sirius cocked his head to one side. "Why would that be overstepping?"

"I don't know."

Sirius reached into the water to pick his jacket up. "Remus, you don't need to apologize for every single thing you do." He wrung the jacket, face scrunching up. "You were right about it being dangerous. I fell asleep faster than I've fallen asleep in a long time. I don't think I'd've made it to Gulcreste."

"Gulcreste? That—"

"I know." Sirius gave a grunt as he wrung the jacket even harder. "Quite far."

"Here." Remus offered the shirt. "I'm stronger, I can do the jacket easier." Sirius stuck his tongue out as he snatched the shirt from him, handing over the jacket. "If I had known that's where your uncle lives I would have been even more adamant in stopping you, that's clear near Norwich, I had assumed he was in London." He dunked the jacket back into the water to rinse it out some more. "You never fail to marvel me with how stupid you can be."

Sirius grinned. "I'm glad I can continually marvel you."

Remus snorted. "With your stupidity."

"I'll take what I can get."

Soon both articles of clothing were clean of blood, and Remus hung them over the curtain rod to dry.

Sirius stood up, stretching. Once again the shirt rode up on his belly and Remus focused on adjusting the shirt to make sure it wasn't folded up anywhere. "You said your parents are leaving?"

"Mhmm. Not sure when. Soon, I think. They're going on a date." He yelped loudly as Sirius poked him in the ribs then covered his mouth. "Stop that!"

"Remus?" his mother called and Sirius paled a little.

Remus cleared his throat, hurrying to unlock his door and poke his head out. "I banged my toe against my bed, I'm all right!" he shouted back.

"Oops," Sirius giggled when the door was shut.

Remus pressed himself against the door. "This isn't a laughing matter, if she finds you—"

"I'll hide," Sirius promised. Then he put his hand to his chest. "I won't do it again. Your arms were up, it was too tempting a target! You cannot blame me for that. Anyway, I meant to say earlier. This isn't really what I expected as your room." He wandered over to the larger bookshelf. "This part is, though. The books part."

"What part isn't, then?" Remus asked, going to sit on his desk.

"Uh, for one the loo," Sirius said. "Second of all… I don't know, you made it sound…" He trailed off and didn't answer until Remus pressed him. "You made it sound a lot nicer. Don't get me wrong, it's nice and all. I dunno. It's just… more cellar-y than I expected."

"I've not lived in here for long," Remus explained, throat tightening a bit. "I haven't really put up many decorations, besides the Gryffindor poster." He began swinging his legs, his heels knocking into one of the drawers. "I wish I could put up photos of everyone. Like in the dorm. It will probably look a lot nicer by the end of summer."

Sirius plonked down on his bed, smiling. "You could probably come up with a spell for that."

"For… what?" Remus squinted at him. "Making my room nicer?"

"No! A photo that changes when someone comes in the room!" Sirius pressed his hands together. "Or if anyone but you looks at it they see something else. There might already be something out there like it. Then you could have a photo of us up and your parents would see… oh, I dunno, a pixie."

That was a brilliant idea and Remus almost said so. Instead he decided to tease. "Why in Merlin's name would I put a picture of a pixie up on my wall?"

"You could tell them you've started a pixie club at school," Sirius teased right back, and they both stuck their tongues out at each other.

Remus wasn't sure what to say after that. It was so strange and awkward having Sirius in his room. Especially after the comment about it not being as nice as Sirius apparently thought. Did I really make my room sound so much better? he wondered, glancing around the room. He still hated it so much but since he didn't want anyone to know that, he had gone on to Fawley and his friends about how nice his room was. He supposed he could understand a miscommunication there.

"Can I ask something?" Sirius asked.

"Er, of course…"

Sirius pulled his legs up, sitting cross-legged. "Do you think you'd ever be able to tell your parents that you have friends?"

Remus glanced up, startled at the question. "No," he replied immediately. "They would not take it well. I'd be pulled from Hogwarts. We'd probably move to a different country. I—the—we—my—" He paused, taking in a deep breath as he tried to figure out the right words he meant. "We can't risk my secret. I've explained this before. Many times."

"No, I get that. I guess I mean—well, that doesn't seem very fair on you," Sirius muttered. "Sending you to school and expecting you to never make any friends. Expecting you to be so alone. Do they really think you have no social life?"

Remus drew his own legs up onto the desk, wrapping his arms around his knees. "They know I talk to people…" He rested his chin on his knees, feeling rather hollow inside. "They know about Study Group. That is about the extent of everything. They think anything I have is simply a bare acquaintance. Besides, as a werewolf my life is going to be spent more or less alone. It's how we live. Part of who we are."

Sirius's eyes bored holes into Remus's soul. "What do you mean? That's ridiculous! You can't mean that."

"Hmm? Mean what?"

"Your life isn't going to be spent alone," he said sharply.

Remus raised his head, realizing what Sirius was referring to. He wasn't sure what to reply with, though. It would be far too rude to say he didn't think the Marauders would stick by his side after graduation. Why would they? It was one thing to be bound together in school, sharing a dorm. But despite James's insistence that the Marauders would be forever friends… Remus knew the truth. After they graduated, he'd slip back into this house for the rest of his life, and the others would go on and forget about him. They'd have jobs, wives, children, and he'd be hidden away from society.

They couldn't… they shouldn't chain themselves down to a werewolf.

"It's supposed to be," he said, hoping that would suffice. "It's expected that my life will be one of solitude. Werewolves rarely have anyone to stick by their side—"

"Well, you do," Sirius snapped, redness creeping in his face. Remus doubted it was from embarrassment, and thought perhaps it was in anger. "You're not going to be alone. Okay? You'll have us. Forever. I'm never going to abandon you, okay?"

"Okay," Remus said, trying not to whimper or draw back. The fury in Sirius's hushed voice was rather frightening. "I—thank you. I know. I only really meant it's expected that I be alone. That's all."

Sirius eyed him then looked away. "Er, right. Yeah, I—er, I didn't mean to sound all upset. I just want to make sure you know that."

"I do know that," Remus lied.

Siirus started to say something then stopped, frowning a bit. Finally after a moment of awkward silence he changed the subject with, "You don't have anywhere near the amount of books I thought you'd have. I expected piles and piles everywhere, like school." It was very evident he was trying to ease the tension, and Remus was very relieved to be off the topic of his future. Also relieved Sirius was trying to smooth things over.

"Some of my books are still in my trunk," Remus explained. "We… can't afford a whole lot of books. I wish I had piles and piles of books around."

Sirius got back up to go over to the shelf, pulling a book out. "We have a small library at home. It's mostly uninteresting stuff." Remus wondered how a library could ever be uninteresting. "What's this? Is this about time manipulation spells?"

Remus almost fell off his desk from laughter. "Nooooo!" he wheezed out, sliding off the desk to go over. "It's a Muggle book. Fictional. It's about a girl and her brother and her friend going through… time and space to various planets and universes in order to rescue her father, to sum it up quickly."

"You have a lot of Muggle stuff don't you?"

"Mmhmm. Mum finds a lot of used books in charity shops and such. Ariadne Quillers might be my favorite overall author however my favorite book is Muggle. Muggle fantasy."

"Which one's that? Um, The Phantom Tollbooth, right?"

Remus was surprised that Sirius remembered that. "Er, no. I mean, that's one of my favorites but not my absolute favorite." He took The Hobbit off the shelf. "This. I love the other books by him. The Lord of the Rings series is absolutely amazing, but I have a special fondness for The Hobbit. I really love the other books, I mean the characters are brilliant, and the adventure is incredible but the lightness in this one is comforting, and the dwarves—er, you know, there's a dwarf named Fili in it? Oh, no, you wouldn't. Um, well, I think of him sometimes when we talk about your owl." Then Remus realized he was probably babbling way too much about something that Sirius probably had no interest in. He quickly put his books back, going red, feeling utterly stupid. "I—I should go see if my parents are—are headed out soon."

He hurried out of the room before he could see the boredom or annoyance on Sirius's face. Ugh I need to stop talking so much! Right when he reached the door at the top of the stairs it wrenched open and he fell forward onto his mother's feet. She helped him up and he maneuvered his way from the doorway, to shut the door behind him.

"You look terrific!" he said.

Hope was in a very lovely, breezy-sort-of-looking dress. Her hair was done up in a way he didn't recall seeing on her, and she had makeup on, which she rarely wore. "Thank you!" She giggled, nervously smoothing down the skirt. "I wanted to talk to you for a moment. Are you going to be okay on your own?"

"Yes," he promised, nodding. "I'll be fine. It will only be for a few hours anyway, right? I'll be careful. And if anyone comes near the house I'll hide. All the doors and windows will be locked. I'll be very careful, like I was at your first knitting club meeting this summer." Hope put a necklace around her throat then turned, bending back a bit so Remus could clasp it. "I'll be fine," he said again after she turned back around, adjusting the delicate flower.

"It's hard." She fingered the flower, running her finger across the petals. "I'll always see you as a baby. My baby." She hugged him tightly.

Lyall came jogging in, buttoning up the last button of his shirt. "Are you ready?"

"Yes." Hope kissed Remus's forehead. "No anything. No stove or oven, no fires, no knives."

"Merlin's sake, he's thirteen, he'll be fine," Lyall said, slipping his arm through Hope's. "He's been by himself before anyway, hasn't he? Anyway, I stayed by myself when I was eleven. But listen to your mother. Don't do anything dangerous."

"I was thinking about learning to juggle flaming knives while standing on the stove but I suppose I won't this time around," Remus said. Hope gave a huffy sort of sound. "Have a good day. Enjoy your date!"

He followed them out to the garage, waving as his mother pulled out of the garage then went forward, shutting the garage door. Then he ran to the living room and pressed his face against the glass, watching as the car disappeared around a bend.

Yes!

He bolted down to the cellar to let Sirius know they didn't have to worry, his parents were officially gone. Then he froze up, grabbing the railing so he didn't go tumbling.

He and Sirius were alone in the house.

It wasn't really anything to do with worry over his wrong feelings just… the sudden strangeness of it all. He had never been in this situation before. Even when he spent time with just Sirius at school (or James, or Peter, or Lily) they weren't really alone-alone. Panic began seizing his chest. He was completely alone with someone who wasn't one of his parents. That had never in his life happened before. The closest things were when he was with Rubeus Hagrid going to the school, the two of them in the carriage, or the time Professor McGonagall took him into Hogsmeade and they were alone in the carriage. Did those count? Or did some of the times he spent 'alone' with a friend count? Like when he and Aegis Silverlocke had gone into the tunnels and nobody was anywhere near them, did that count? He supposed it did.

Or… was there a difference between being alone with someone in a house, and being alone with someone in a section of an otherwise populated castle?

Alone, he thought as he reached the bottom of the stairs, feeling very panicky. Hoo-boy.