CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED FORTY

The Order of the Phoenix.

They had a name now; a group to which they all belonged. They had all gathered in Dumbledore's office after the Ravenclaw and Gryffindor Quidditch match, some of them still in their game robes; Jane had been excited because their winning streak had remained intact, and she had played well, but the war didn't even allow that small happiness to exist for very long. Their N.E.W.T.s were to start the following week, and after that, they'd be gone, so they needed to take their oaths now.

One by one, they stood in a line to Dumbledore's desk where they pledged their allegiance to the cause. And the list went as followed: Sirius Black, Amelia Bones, Caradoc Dearborn, Lily Evans, Kevin Fawley, Alice Hanson, Jane Hensworth, Hestia Jones, Frank Longbottom, Remus Lupin, Mary MacDonald, Marlene McKinnon, Dorcas Meadowes, Peter Pettigrew, James Potter, Kyle and Trevor Trinus, and Emmeline Vance.

Jane was sure that there'd be another group the next year, and maybe the one after that, and who knew how long the war would last? And as each person stepped forward to take their oath, Jane studied them. She knew all their faces, grown up with them. Her friends from Gryffindor were all there. Amelia Bones was a Prefect. Emmeline Vance was also a Prefect and captain of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team. Caradoc Dearborn occasionally bummed cigarettes off of Jane. Kevin Fawley was a very funny guy, and Jane had to wonder how Sadie Selwyn was feeling about all this. Hestia Jones was very outspoken, and she was one of the few people who wasn't afraid to call Voldemort by his name. Dorcas Meadowes was the editor of the school newspaper, and rumour had it that she already had a job lined up for her at the Daily Prophet. And the Trinus twins, when they weren't trash-talking their way through a Quidditch match, were very nice.

Jane wondered how many of them would make it through the war in one piece. And when it was her turn, she stepped forward, signed her name on a second piece of parchment with gold ink, and she took her oath with a surprisingly steady voice:

"I, Jane Hensworth, as a member of this newfound Order, do solemnly swear to protect and defend, to the best of my ability, the Wizarding Community, against those Dark Forces which would do it harm. I vow to come forth when I am needed, to fight beside those who seek to preserve our world and keep it shielded from the Darkness. I vow to abide by the laws set forth by our Ministry until such a time that Ministry should become corrupt and no longer protect its people. For it is henceforth my job to protect the people at any and all costs, no matter what consequence."

No matter what consequence.

It played over and over in Jane's mind the rest of the day. Of course, it meant death, but she supposed that was too melancholy to put in an oath. Then again, Jane thought that an oath was a bit melodramatic anyway.

Why not go ahead and have us make an Unbreakable Vow while we're at it? she had thought caustically.

All throughout her Healing Theory N.E.W.T. and her Potions practical, she had been trying not to think about it. And she was still trying not to think about it as Remus tried helping her with her Patronus Charm. After they'd been at it for what felt like a fairly long time, Jane threw her wand down in frustration because, so far, she had only gone from silvery wisps of light to slightly bigger silvery wisps of light. Peter had given up on it a long time ago.

"Let's just stop; I'm never gonna get it right," Jane said.

Remus picked up her wand and handed it back to her.

"You'll get it. You just need a little more practice," he encouraged. "You need at least an Exceeds Expectations in all your fundamental courses if you wanna get in to Pendle Hill. Now, Lily's helping you with Charms, just let me help you with this. If you can produce a corporeal Patronus, it's worth massive points when they mark you up."

"Remus, we have three days till the Defence Against the Dark Arts practical. I'm not gonna get it in time," she said.

"Well, not with that attitude you won't," Remus told her. "Now, try again."

Jane sighed. Closing her eyes, she tried to clear her mind. Opening her eyes, she twirled her wand in a circular motion.

"Expecto Patronum!"

Silvery light sprang out of her wand, but only in wisps, and Jane kicked a desk in frustration. Remus shook his head.

"Now, what did that desk do to you?"

"It's not funny, Remus!" Jane said.

"Look, you're just getting all worked up, and that's not gonna help you," he told her. "Chocolate?"

Jane smacked his hand, which was holding a chocolate bar, away from her. She knew that Madam Pomfrey always made him eat some in the days after the full moon. He'd been trying to get Jane to eat some all day.

"No, I don't want any bloody chocolate, Remus! If you ask me that one more time, I will take that chocolate bar and shove it directly up your—"

"Whoa!" Sirius interrupted, entering the classroom they were practising in. "What's going on?"

Remus, quite unfazed by Jane's frustration, shrugged. He took a bite of his chocolate bar before pointing to Jane.

"Your girlfriend is unteachable, Padfoot."

Jane cut her eyes at Remus.

"Mm, that's why Prongs and I don't tutor her anymore," Sirius said.

"You two don't tutor me because you're terrible teachers," Jane said, rubbing her eyes in a tired way before sitting on a desktop.

"Can you please tell her that being frustrated is actually counterproductive when trying to produce a Patronus Charm?" Remus said.

"He's right, you know," Sirius told her.

"I'm not trying to get frustrated," Jane defended.

"It's pretty easy; just think of a happy memory," Sirius said.

"Easy for you maybe. Remus even told me that plenty of witches and wizards can't produce a corporeal Patronus."

"Well, why did you tell her that? That's discouraging," Sirius said to Remus.

Remus rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to Jane.

"Look, Jane, what's your happiest memory?"

Jane let out a laugh and shrugged.

"Hell, I don't know, Remus. I have a lot of happy memories," she said.

"Well, I know you can do it. I've seen you do it," he replied.

"Once! Like four months ago and for five seconds," Jane reminded him.

"Yes, but you still did it," Sirius pointed out. "Which means, you can do it again."

"Can you remember what you were thinking of when you finally cast it?" Remus asked.

"Yeah, I was thinking, 'Holy shit, I've done it!' And then, it disappeared," Jane replied sarcastically.

"Oh, come on, Janie. You don't know what your happiest memory is?" Sirius prodded.

"Well, let's see. A few weeks ago, when I finally beat Remus at chess I was pretty happy—"

"That was a fluke," Remus interrupted.

"And then, there was that time when James and I—"

"Stop," Sirius said. "You can't just list every time you've ever felt happy. It's got to mean something; it's got to be important."

Jane had known that already; she had been being a smart-arse. And she had plenty of happy memories that were important to her, but none that she thought of would do the trick. The spell was just too complicated.

"It's been hours. Can't we just call it a day?" Jane complained.

"It's like you said. We've only got three days before the practical, Jane," Remus told her.

Jane heaved a dramatic sigh causing Remus to roll his eyes at her. Sirius looked between the two.

"Go on, Moony; take a break. I'll see if I can rub any of my talent onto her," Sirius said, causing Jane to groan.

"How come he gets to take a break?"

"Because he's not the one being rude to his friends and threatening to shove things where they don't belong," Sirius said sarcastically.

"She's all yours, mate. Besides, I need to go find Wormtail. He bolted on us about an hour ago."

And with that, Remus left the room. Sirius looked at Jane.

"Since when do you ever get angry at Moony? I thought he was the one that never annoyed you," Sirius teased.

"Since I can't get this stupid spell," she said, hopping off of the desk she was sitting on.

"You know, he was on the right track," Sirius told her. "Whatever you were feeling in class that day when you cast your Patronus, it's the key to doing it again. You've just got to remember."

"Great, I'll just do that," Jane said sarcastically.

"Come on, I was there. I'll help you fill in the things you don't remember," Sirius said before grabbing her hands. "Close your eyes."

"This is stupid."

"I'm sorry, but out of the two of us, who can produce a corporeal Patronus? Now, shut up, and close your eyes."

Jane heaved a sighed but did as instructed.

"Now, it was January—or was it February?" Sirius started causing Jane to roll her eyes under their closed lids.

"It was January."

"Right. January. It was Friday, and you were absolutely stunning," Sirius said, smirking.

"This isn't helping at all," Jane said, though she smiled a bit.

"Fine," Sirius said. "What do you remember?"

Jane thought very hard for a second.

"I remember that Lily had finally cast a corporeal Patronus. Peter and I were joking about how Lily and James' Patronuses matched each other."

"And?" Sirius pressed.

"And? And then, you came over to show off. I'm assuming you didn't forget that part," Jane said.

"Just tell me what you remember."

Jane sighed.

"You said something to Peter like, 'I bet I can cast a Patronus Charm five times in a row before you even get it once,' because you're an arse," she said.

"I was encouraging him to do better," Sirius interrupted.

"Yeah, whatever. Anyway, not only did you cast the charm five times, you had the last one parade around Peter. And then, I told you to stop being a prat. You never did. And later, I cast a very brief corporeal Patronus," Jane finished.

She opened her eyes and gave Sirius a look that told him that his whole idea had been a complete waste of her time.

"Hang on," Sirius said. "You're omitting some things."

"Oh, well, excuse me for not having a perfect memory," Jane mumbled.

"First of all, I did stop being a prat. I even offered to help you and Wormtail figure it out."

"Oh, yeah," Jane said. "Then, I told you to go away. You didn't do that either."

"Second of all," Sirius continued, ignoring her, "I helped you with your posture."

"But that was just a load of bull. You only did that so you could touch me," Jane accused.

"Yeah, I did," Sirius admitted, smirking. "And then, you failed miserably for a while—"

"Hey!"

"Well, you did," Sirius said. "Now, close your eyes again and think. What do you remember?"

Jane sighed, closing her eyes for a second time, thinking back to that day once more, trying to visualise it.

"You tried to walk me through it. You cast your Patronus again, and that stupid, smug look on your face made me angry. So, I swatted at your Patronus."

"And?"

"And it surprised me. It didn't feel like I thought I would," Jane said, remembering the sensation. "It was warm—comforting actually. So, I touched it again."

"How'd it make you feel?" Sirius asked, remembering the smile that had appeared on her face after she'd touched the Patronus.

"Happy," Jane recalled. "Very happy. It was the happiest I'd felt since—"

Jane cut herself off.

"Happiest you'd felt since when?" Sirius pressed.

Jane opened her eyes.

"Since I thought my mum was finally getting better."

Jane was silent for a moment.

"And then, I cast my Patronus."

"Well, that's it," Sirius told her. "That's your memory."

Jane furrowed her brow and shook her head.

"No, it's not. It wasn't true; she never got better," Jane said. "It wasn't real."

"Well, it doesn't matter," Sirius said. "What matters is how it made you feel in that moment. You just need to remember those moments."

"Why? So I can remember what I lost?" Jane said. "That's not gonna help me cast a Patronus."

"It will. Do you wanna know what my memory is that helps me cast a Patronus?" he said.

Jane shrugged.

"I was six. Mum had taken me and Regulus to Diagon Alley, which was a treat because she rarely took us anywhere. She bought us toy wands. And we ran around the streets yelling make-believe jinxes at each other.

"It doesn't matter that my Mum's a terrible person or that my brother is on his way to being a Death Eater, if he's not already, because back then, I didn't know what any of that meant. I didn't even know what being pure-blood meant, I just knew that my mum liked talking about it.

"All I know, is that I remember being happy right then. It doesn't matter what came after it," Sirius finished. "You've just got to remember how those moments made you feel."

Jane was shocked. Sirius never talked about his family unless he was belittling them. He especially never talked about any happy memories with them. And it made her wonder how much it had really hurt him when he finally had to leave.

Well, if Sirius could use a memory of his childhood to create a corporeal Patronus, surely Jane could use a memory of her mum to do the same.

"She took me to the flicks," Jane finally said, allowing herself to smile just a little bit at the memory. "I remember that was a big thing for me because she hadn't taken me to the flicks in a long while. And she took me shopping, and I helped her cook dinner most nights. And we didn't argue for the whole week.

"I felt normal—a regular teenager with a regular mum. It was back before all this war talk started, and the biggest problem I had was how relentlessly boring Stockbridge was without Sarah around. But even that didn't really matter because I had my mum back."

"Good," Sirius said. "Hold on to that feeling, and try the spell again."

So, Jane did. She twirled her wand and said the incantation. Once more, silvery light shot from her wand, much more than she'd been able to produce before. Still, it held no distinguishable shape. Jane sighed, lowering her wand as the light diminished.

She shook her head and ran her fingers through her hair.

"That's all right," Sirius said. "Just try again. I didn't expect you to get it on the first try."

"But that wasn't the first try," Jane complained. "I've been at this for hours."

"Come on, don't give up; just try again," he said, walking behind her.

He wrapped one arm around her waist and lifted Jane's wand arm with his other hand. He rested his chin on her shoulder and said,

"Just concentrate and try again."

Jane closed her eyes as his breath tickled her ear. She took a deep breath and went back in her mind to the week before her mother had died. She almost smiled, remembering how happy her mother had seemed, remembering her smile. Jane remembered how happy she'd felt at the prospect of spending a whole summer with her mum like that. A whole summer of talking without screaming, a whole summer of her mum getting back to the way she had been before the bad spells had started.

Jane opened her eyes. Sirius still had his chin resting on her shoulder.

"Well?" he said.

"Expecto Patronum," Jane said, moving her wand through the air.

Jane didn't even have to see it; she felt it before it happened. And within just a couple of seconds, the form of a silvery fox sprang from her wand tip.

Sirius' chin left her shoulder and his arm fell away from her waist as he walked to get a better look at her Patronus as it walked around the room.

"I did it!" Jane exclaimed, not taking her eyes off of the fox.

Sirius looked at the smile plastered on her face as she said this as well as the look of awe that accompanied it. And he couldn't help but smile as well.

Jane made it through the next couple of weeks just fine. The N.E.W.T.s had been difficult, but she'd managed to make it through them with some confidence. All there was to do now was wait until they got their grades back, but that wouldn't be for another month.

It was currently the last day of school. Everyone was out and about with their friends. Jane and the rest of her friends had snuck off to Hogsmeade for the day because even if Filch did catch them, what was he gonna do? Give them a detention? Expel them?

"I can't believe that this is our last day as students at Hogwarts," Marlene said as they all walked down the High Street.

"I can't believe they put this picture in the school newspaper," Mary said.

She was holding a copy of the very last school newspaper of the school year. Jane had her own copy, already tucked away in her suitcase for safekeeping. The last paper of the year always had pictures and articles of the graduating class. Mary was complaining about a picture of all of them. Apparently, she had not liked the way she looked in it.

"I thought it was a cute picture," Alice said, and Jane had the sneaking suspicion that Alice had been the one to submit it for printing.

"Where are we going?" Marlene asked as the shops faded into the distance behind them.

"We're just walking, McKinnon," Sirius said. "Just enjoying our last day as students."

Once they were out far enough, Jane saw the little, broken Lyles' cottage, still standing after all these years. As morbid as it seemed, she and the boys had occasionally hung out there. She and James and Sirius would smoke their cigarettes while Remus would tell them how unhealthy that was. They would play Exploding Snap and sometimes drink if Sirius and James had been able to nick anything from the Three Broomsticks, which they had managed to do today.

"Come on, guys. One last visit to one of our old haunts," Jane said to the boys with a small smile.

"You guys hung out here?" Mary said.

Jane shrugged.

"Sometimes. It's not as morbid as it seems," Jane assured her before walking into the little cottage.

Dead leaves had accumulated on the floor over the years, having been blown inside by Autumn winds; they crunched under Jane's shoes. She ran her hand over one of the walls and smiled at the little flower she had etched into the wall the previous year. Of course, over the years, Jane and the boys hadn't been the only ones to frequent the place. Kids from the village and other Hogwarts students came and went, and graffiti and etchings covered the walls. Cigarette butts and empty beer bottles littered the floor.

Jane sat down on the floor and pulled out a cigarette, sticking it between her lips before pulling out her usually neglected pack of Exploding Snap cards. She started shuffling them as the others followed her in.

"What's this?" Remus said. "Jane Hensworth wants to play Exploding Snap? Has the world ended?"

Jane smirked, the unlit cigarette threatening to fall from her mouth. She grabbed it and stuck it behind her ear until she was done shuffling the cards.

"I figured why not humiliate myself one last time before we all go home?" she said as they all sat on the floor with her.

James grabbed the cigarette from behind her ear and put it in his mouth, lighting it with the tip of his wand.

"Hey!"

"What? You have a whole pack," he said.

Sirius was already digging through her purse to steal his own cigarette. She gave him an incredulous look as he found her pack and pulled out a cigarette. He only shrugged.

"Left my pack up in the dorm," he said.

Jane finally lit her own cigarette as James opened the stolen bottle of Firewhiskey and passed it around.

After about three games, Jane decided just to watch. She leaned against the wall and smiled as she looked around at her friends. Marlene had given up on the game as well, and she was laying on her back, her head resting in Mary's lap. Alice was sitting very close to Frank, and Jane could see her looking out of the corner of her eye every now and then to peak at his cards. Lily, who was sitting in between James and Remus, had a mischievous gleam in her eye and a smug look on her face whenever she looked at her cards. Every now and then, Remus or James would try to peak at her cards, but they weren't as sneaky as Alice, and Lily would hold the cards very close to her. Peter and Sirius were laughing at something Sirius had said, and Marlene playfully kicked Peter's arm in some form of retaliation for him laughing at whatever Sirius had said.

And for once, Jane didn't think about the war. She was happy and content and pleasantly buzzed. And after a while, in search for something to do, she started to carve her name into the wall behind her.

"Move over," Marlene said, getting up from her spot to come sit beside Jane and pulling out her wand to put her own name into the wall.

It wasn't long before they'd all abandoned their game and took turns etching their names, clustering them together in a bare spot on the wall.

"Wait, wait," Alice said after they were all done, moving back to the wall.

Jane watched as she etched something else in bigger letters above their names:

Gryffindor Class '78

Jane smiled. Alice moved back, waving her wand and whispering some incantation. When she was done, their etches shone very brightly for a few seconds before changing colour, some to red and some to gold. Alice smiled.

"There," she said. "Perfect."

And as they went back to their game, Jane smiled at the wall before sliding closer to Sirius and interlacing her fingers with his.