CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED FORTY-SIX

It had been two days since the Order meeting, and no one had heard anything more from Dumbledore. At the moment, Jane was worried about other things. After the meeting, when Jane and Sirius had stayed behind to talk to their friends, Alice had brought up the fact that Jane was the only one that didn't have her Apparation licence. Everyone else had gotten theirs either after they turned seventeen or after they graduated; Jane hadn't been in a hurry because of her fear of being splinched. However, since she was in the Order, Apparation was something that she needed to learn as soon as possible.

They had agreed to meet at the Potters' so that Alice and Lily could help Jane learn and prepare for her Apparation test. Currently, Jane was standing in the Potters' backyard with the two other girls, listening to Alice explain again and again that if Jane didn't get over her fears, she was never going to Apparate.

"Either that or you will get splinched!" James shouted across the yard from where he and Sirius stood at the back door of the house; they had been banned by Alice from trying to help after getting on her nerves so badly that she threatened to turn them into garden gnomes.

Jane shuddered at James' statement.

"Sod off, Potter! You're making her even more scared!" Alice shouted back at him, and he went back to sulking silently.

Alice turned back to Jane.

"Look, all you have to do is remember the Three D's. Do you even remember them?"

Jane could tell that Alice was getting frustrated with her. They'd been at this for over forty-five minutes with nothing to show for it.

"Destination, Determination, Deliberation," Jane repeated, listing them off like a mantra.

"Well, then do it again," Alice said. "And this time, forget about getting splinched. Only think about the destination, which is literally anyplace other than where you're standing. You can Apparate two feet away for all I care, just for the love of Merlin, do it already!"

Jane cocked her head at Alice's annoyed tone and only folded her arms. She didn't especially like the attitude Alice was getting with her; she was trying her best. Lily looked between the two and sighed.

"Let's just take a break, okay? It's almost lunchtime anyway," she said.

Alice sighed.

"I'm sorry, guys. I just– I have a lot on my mind right now," Alice said, plopping herself on the ground.

Jane and Lily followed suit, sitting down with her. James and Sirius started making their way towards the girls, but Alice frowned.

"You two can piss off! I'm still annoyed with you!" she called to them, effectively halting the boys in their tracks.

"Wanna talk about it?" Jane asked.

Alice sighed again, closing her eyes and lifting her face towards the sky, enjoying the sunlight on her skin.

"Frank and I had a fight."

Lily and Jane exchanged concerned glances. Jane assumed that Alice and Frank had fought before; after all, they'd been together for a few years now, and every couple argues, but Jane had never actually known about their fights. This was a first.

"About what?" Lily inquired.

"He proposed to me," Alice answered quietly.

"What?!" Jane said before she could stop herself. "Sorry," she mumbled, "but still: what?!"

"Well, that's good, isn't it? You used to talk about marrying him all the time," Lily reminded Alice.

"I know," Alice whined, "but not like this. Not with a war breathing down our necks and our Auror training coming up. It-It's like he only asked because he's scared we won't get the chance later."

Jane and Lily both sat there silently, not sure how to respond, now understanding what the problem was.

"I just don't want it to be something that he thinks he has to rush into because he thinks one of us might…" Alice trailed off, not really sure how to end the sentence properly without it being too morbid.

They were all quiet for a while before Lily finally spoke.

"But what if that's not why he's doing it?"

Alice and Jane looked at Lily.

"What if he really is ready to marry you?"

"Don't be ridiculous. This is Frank we're talking about. He took forever to finally say 'I love you,' and I'm supposed to just believe he's suddenly ready to get married only a month after graduation?"

Lily only shrugged.

"You never know," she said. "You two have been together for a while now. Maybe he thought it was time."

Alice scoffed.

"No, he's being unreasonable," Alice said. "We're only eighteen, and he wants us to run off and get married and live together."

"What's wrong with living together?" Jane asked, causing Alice to roll her eyes just a bit.

"Nothing, it's just that not everyone wants to do something like that right after graduation. It's different with you and Sirius; you two were already sort of living together at the Potters' before you moved to London."

Lily shook her head.

"If you aren't ready, then just tell him," she suggested to Alice. "I don't think it should cause an entire argument; Frank seems to be an understanding sort of guy."

Alice snapped her head in Lily's direction, looking as though Lily had just accused her of something.

"That's not even the point!" Alice replied stubbornly. "What would you even know about it anyway?"

Lily narrowed her eyes, and Jane looked between her two friends with worried glances.

"All I'm saying is that instead of finding reasons that he shouldn't have proposed and pretending to get angry about them, maybe you should just tell him you aren't ready for marriage because that's what it sounds like to me."

"Pretending?" Alice exclaimed, getting a bit upset. "He's the one that's pretending, not me! He's only asking because think he's we're all facing sudden death or something!"

Jane winced at Alice's statement, at how she had just thrown it out there in such a seemingly easy way. Jane had been trying to avoid thinking of the possibility of death lately; though, she hadn't had much success.

"Did he tell you that?" Lily countered.

Alice scoffed.

"No, but—"

"Then, how do you really know that's why?"

"This is ridiculous! Jane, tell her she's being ridiculous," Alice demanded suddenly, catching Jane a little off guard.

Jane shifted uncomfortably under Alice and Lily's gazes.

"I-I don't know. Maybe you're both kind of right?" she suggested. "Maybe Frank's just scared of not getting the chance to get married and Alice is scared of getting married right away."

"Scared? I'm not scared!" Alice stated, standing from her spot on the ground, visibly affronted at the accusation.

"I didn't mean it like that," Jane said quietly, trying to calm Alice down.

"Neither of you even know what you're talking about," she said in a harsh voice. "I don't even know why I brought it up."

Lily stood as well, leaving Jane alone on the ground to look up at the two girls and wish that they had just continued with her Apparation lessons.

"We're only giving you some advice," Lily told Alice. "The fact that you're getting so cross about it just makes me believe that you know we're right."

Jane really wished that Lily would stop saying "we" because she wanted to stop being dragged into this.

"Well, who even asked for your advice?" Alice asked, and before allowing Lily to snap back a response, Alice Disapparated which only seemed to annoy Lily even further.

"Can you believe her?" she said, looking down at Jane.

Jane sighed, shrugging just a bit.

"She's just a bit stressed out is all," she told Lily. "And who knows? Maybe she has a point about Frank—"

"Why are you defending her after she was just so rude to us?" Lily asked.

"I-I'm not defending her actions, I'm just—"

Lily huffed in annoyance.

"Oh, never mind," she said, and with a small pop, she was gone, leaving behind a very confused Jane, who was wondering why on earth this argument had even happened.

Jane groaned and fell back into the grass, looking up at the fluffy clouds in the sky.

"I'm never gonna learn how to Apparate," she groaned out loud.

"I can't believe she just left without telling me goodbye," James grumbled as he and Sirius made their way over to where Jane was.

"At least my girlfriend loves me," Sirius said. "Right, Janie?"

Jane rolled her eyes at him.

"I'd love you even more if you could teach me how to Apparate," she said bluntly.

James nudged Jane's side with his foot, prodding her so that she'd get up from the ground. She swatted his foot away and sat up, holding her hands out to each of the boys, and they pulled her into a standing position.

"What's got Hanson's knickers in a twist today?" James asked, and as they walked into the house to lounge about in the den, Jane explained Alice's situation as best as she could.

"Now, don't go blabbing to everyone about it," Jane added in an accusatory tone.

Sirius shook his head, ignoring Jane.

"Frank's lost it," he said. "Who gets married at eighteen anymore? It's the seventies for crying out loud."

"Actually, a lot of people we went to school with are getting engaged," James countered. "Tollison and Campbell are engaged."

"Marlene told me that Vane popped the question to Hamby not too long ago as well," Jane added.

Sirius clicked his tongue.

"Everyone's trying to grow up too damn fast," he said.

"To each their own, I guess," James said.

Jane sat in silence after that as the boys changed the topic. Maybe Sirius was right, maybe people were trying to grow up too fast these days, but could anyone really blame them? Even the kids that hadn't joined the Order knew that their days could be numbered. Maybe they just wanted to make sure they lived their lives to the fullest before something terrible happened.

For the rest of the day, Jane's mind raced with all of the things she hadn't gotten to do yet, and she wondered if she would ever get to do any of them. When she was younger, she had wanted so much for her future, and now, all she seemed to want was for her and her friends to be safe. She stayed in a semi-trancelike state for hours, even after she and Sirius had returned home to their flat, wondering about all the things she might never get to experience.

Currently, she was laying on the couch, her head resting in Sirius' lap as he flipped through the pages of the latest Quidditch Monthly, occasionally shaking his head and mumbling at something he'd read.

"I've never seen the Grand Canyon," Jane suddenly blurted out, causing Sirius to cock an eyebrow and look down at her curiously.

"What?"

"The Grand Canyon," Jane repeated, looking up at him as he discarded his magazine. "When I was little, I promised myself that I'd go see it one day."

"Okay?" he said, confusion in his voice.

"And the pyramids; I've always wanted to see those," she continued.

Sirius let out a laugh.

"Well, maybe we'll go one day," he said.

"And I want to ride in a hot air balloon," Jane said, ignoring him. "And get a dog; I never got to have a dog because my dad was allergic."

Sirius ran his fingers through her hair as he looked down at her.

"What's this all about?"

Jane finally looked directly in Sirius' concerned eyes.

"What if I never get to do any of that stuff?" she asked.

Sirius' expression softened, and he leaned down to place a kiss on her forehead.

"You will," he tried to assure her, combing his fingers through her hair again.

Jane sat up and scooted closer to Sirius as he draped an arm around her. She leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes.

"Promise?" she asked, a small smile gracing her face. She knew that Sirius had no control over the outcome of their lives, but in that moment, Jane was content with just pretending that he did. Sometimes pretending that they had any control was the only way she could stay sane.

Sirius chuckled a bit, pulling her closer to him.

"Promise."

Jane did end up getting her Apparation licence a little under three weeks later. Alice hadn't shown back up to help her, and Jane had wondered if she and Frank were doing okay. Jane had had to practise under James, Sirius, and Lily. Despite the boys' poor teaching skills, Jane managed to finally get the hang of it; however, she still detested it.

Currently, she was walking about Diagon Alley with Sirius; though, while they were supposed to be shopping for Jane's new school supplies, they were mostly just goofing off. She laughed as Sirius tried on a ridiculous looking hat that resembled the one she had seen Frank's mother wear on occasions. They were supposed to be looking for new dragon hide gloves because Jane's old pair had seen their better days, but they were having too much fun in front of the mirror, laughing loudly at their own jokes, earning annoyed looks from the other customers in the store but refusing to care about them.

The day had started off like any other until the morning post had arrived:

Jane had been brushing her teeth when she heard the tapping from the kitchen window. She peeked into her and Sirius' bedroom to see him still sleeping soundly. Quickly, she spat and rinsed out her mouth before making her way to the kitchen and opening the window.

She had been expecting it to be the usual, just a copy of the Daily Prophet. However, this owl only had a single letter. It was addressed to only her, and it was sealed with a wax press of the Pendle Hill Academy of Healing's coat of arms.

When Sirius had woken around ten minutes later, he walked into the living room to find Jane staring at the still unopened letter that now sat on the coffee table. He sat down beside her on the couch and inspected the envelope. He leaned back after laying it back down.

"You just gonna stare at it then?" he teased.

Jane nodded, chewing the inside of her lip.

"Yup,"

"Nervous?"

Jane groaned.

"What if I didn't get in?" she asked.

Sirius chuckled, shaking his head in amusement.

"Well, if you don't open it, you'll never find out."

Jane sighed, picking up the envelope. She turned it over and over in her hands before turning to Sirius and handing it out to him.

"You open it," she said. "I'm too scared."

Sirius rolled his eyes but took the envelope nonetheless and ripped it open. Jane waited with baited breath as Sirius extracted the letter and unfolded it before clearing his throat.

"'Dear Ms. Hensworth,

"'On behalf of the faculty and staff of the Pendle Hill Academy of Healing, it is with great pleasure that I inform you of your admission to Pendle Hill…'"

Jane didn't really know much of what the letter had said after that part, because she and Sirius had immediately started to celebrate.

"What about this one?" Sirius said, picking up a very large, pink hat adorned with white peacock feathers. He swiftly stuck it on Jane's head, covering her eyes with the brim of the hat.

Jane laughed and pushed it up so that she could see again.

"Oh, it's lovely," she said sarcastically. "I think I just might wear it on the first day of classes. And every time you and I go out together, I'll be sure to wear it then too."

"If you wear that, I will pretend like I have no clue who you are," Sirius said laughing.

"No, that won't work because I'll make sure to exclaim very loudly that you and I are dating and that we're madly in love," Jane teased.

"I guess I just won't go out in public with you."

Jane scoffed.

"Well, how rude," she said, still laughing as she put the hat back. "We should probably start looking for some gloves now," she added, looking at her wristwatch.

Before Sirius could reply, a woman's voice sounded from somewhere near them.

"Well, do my eyes deceive me, or is that really my dearest cousin trying on ladies' hats?"

Jane peaked around Sirius curiously to see a woman with light brown hair. Jane moved closer to Sirius because the woman reminded him of his cousin Bellatrix that she'd met that time in Knockturn Alley when they were younger. Plus, the fact that the woman had called Sirius her cousin had sent alarms off in Jane's head, as she had learned to be wary of the Black family. However, Sirius seemed rather thrilled at this woman's sudden appearance, which confused Jane, until he called the woman by her name.

"Andromeda," he exclaimed happily as she approached them.

Jane relaxed a bit, and she finally took notice of the young, purple-haired girl following closely behind Andromeda, who had enveloped Sirius in a crushing hug as she ruffled his hair playfully.

"I can't believe how tall you've gotten," she said. "Last time I saw you, you were still this big."

Andromeda motioned with her hand to show Sirius just how tall he used to be. Sirius struggled to get out of her grasp and brushed his hair back into place.

"Yeah, well, the last time I saw you, you were this big around," he replied, holding his hands out in front of his belly, and Jane assumed he had meant she was pregnant still when he last saw her.

"Oh, that's right, you haven't met Nymphadora yet, have you?"

Andromeda suddenly pushed the girl with purple hair out in front of her.

"Dora, this is my cousin, Sirius. Can you say hello to him?"

The little girl, who seemed to be about five years old, just looked Sirius up and down before cocking her head to the side.

"Why's your hair so long like a girl's?" she questioned loudly, causing Jane to laugh out loud.

Sirius cut his eyes at her and turned his attention back to his little cousin.

"This coming from someone with purple hair," he said in an amused voice.

"I told you that you needed a haircut," Jane said to him, and he rolled his eyes at her before introducing her to Andromeda as his girlfriend.

"Girlfriend? Who in their right mind would want to date you? You must have confunded the poor girl," Andromeda teased.

Jane felt a small tug on her arm, and she looked down at Nymphadora. Jane squatted down to the girl's level and smiled brightly at her.

"Hello," she said.

The little girl smiled back.

"You're really pretty," she said, causing Jane's heart to melt just a bit.

"Aw, thank you."

Suddenly, the girl's short, purple hair suddenly turned dark brown, and her green eyes turned grey, mimicking Jane's. Jane was so startled at the sudden change that she fell backwards onto her bottom, her mouth gaping open. Nymphadora only laughed and ran back to her mom.

"Well, that's an interesting trick for someone so small," Sirius said, chuckling as he helped Jane back to her feet. Andromeda laughed, patting her daughter on the head as the girl's hair turned back to purple.

"Dora's a metamorphmagus," Andromeda said. "So, what are you doing out in the Alley today?"

Sirius smiled proudly, pulling Jane closer to his side.

"School shopping. Janie's got accepted to Pendle Hill. She's super smart."

"Well, one of you has got to be," Andromeda teased, causing Sirius to frown and Jane to laugh. "Suppose it'll be nice to have a Healer around with all the trouble you're bound to get into."

Sirius scoffed, starting in on a tangent about how he could take care of himself, but Jane's focus was elsewhere. Peering over the various racks of clothes, through the shop window, Jane spotted Frank. He seemed to be out with his mother, who looked as though she were arguing with an herb vendor about some of his products.

Staring at Frank, Jane vaguely wondered if he and Alice were still arguing. After all, since that day at the Potters', Jane hadn't seen or spoken to Alice, and she wondered how Frank was holding up.

"No, Dora, don't mess with that; put it down!" Andromeda said, suddenly rushing away from Jane and Sirius to go grab her young daughter before she could break one of the store displays.

Jane nudged Sirius' side.

"Have you or James spoken to Frank recently?"

Sirius' brow furrowed.

"No, the last time Prongs tried to play peacemaker to one of Frank and Hanson's little arguments, it didn't end very well," he said.

"I'm not so sure that this argument is so little."

"All the more reason to not get involved," Sirius replied. "Besides, what would be the point? They'll be back to normal in no time anyway."

Jane frowned.

"He's our friend; don't you think you should at least see how he's doing?"

"Well, I don't see you trying to get in touch with Hanson," he accused, causing Jane to purse her lips.

"That's different. Alice is scarier than Frank and more stubborn."

"Your right, but in this scenario, I think that maybe Hanson has got a point," Sirius said. "What's Frank doing trying to get married right now for anyway? It's ridiculous. They've only just started training to be Aurors. We've got our whole lives ahead of us, and he's only thinking of the worst."

Jane rolled her eyes.

"How would you know if you haven't spoken to him?" she countered. "Frank's in love with Alice. Maybe he does want to marry her because of that; it doesn't have to be about the war or the Order at all."

"The Order?" Andromeda inquired as she returned, one arm placed securely on the back of Nymphadora's shirt to keep her from running off again. "What are you two on about?"

Jane immediately clamped her mouth shut, and Sirius only sighed as Andromeda eyed them suspiciously.

"It's nothing," Sirius said. "Forget about it."

Andromeda narrowed her eyes at him before swiftly grabbing him by the ear and dragging him to a more private section of the store, Jane following suit with widened eyes.

"Ow! Let go!" Sirius complained, and his cousin complied, releasing his ear and staring at him sternly.

"Sirius, please don't tell me that you've gotten yourself all caught up in everything that's been happening," Andromeda pleaded quietly.

Sirius rubbed his ear and frowned but didn't answer her.

"Do you know how stupid that is?!" Andromeda said, taking his silence as confirmation. "And for someone like you, it's especially dangerous."

"Someone like me? What's that supposed to mean?" Sirius muttered.

Andromeda sighed heavily.

"People like you and me are seen as traitors. You're going to be one of the first people that the other side is going to come after."

Jane's heart sank a bit at Andromeda's words.

"So? At least I'm doing something. What about you? Are you going to sit in your own little world and pretend like nothing's happening?" he snapped back.

Andromeda's eyes flicked down to her daughter and back up at Sirius.

"I have a child now. I can't just go off and throw my life away, and you shouldn't be either. You're still too young for any of this. You and your friends have only just graduated. Don't you think that you should leave the fighting to people more experienced than yourself?"

Sirius stayed silent for a moment as a woman walked past them all, but he honed back in once she was out of earshot.

"They've had long enough," he said. "They promised to put an end to this forever ago, and it's still going on. Do you really expect me to intrust my future to people who have been incompetent thus far?"

"Sirius, you're the only blood I have left, excluding Dora. You're going to get yourself killed. Please, reconsider," Andromeda pleaded.

"I could die anyway," he said. "There are people getting killed everyday that were just minding their own damn business. If I do get killed, I at least want to go down with a fight."

Andromeda opened her mouth to respond, but Sirius cut her off.

"I'm not just being reckless. I'm not doing this because I think it's fun or cool or badarse. I'm doing this because this war threatens people that I care about, people that I want to keep safe, and that includes you and your family," he said. "You can't protect anyone by ignoring the problem."

Andromeda sighed, giving up on her argument, and Jane saw the fear that seemed to creep into Andromeda's eyes.

"Please, just be careful, Sirius."