I don't own Hetalia okay? This story has been getting a better response than I had expected so I am going to work on updating sooner. Anyway, enough of this A/N, on with the fic!
Alfred and Ivan pulled into the driveway and sighed. Ivan grabbed the bag that had the take out they had gotten for Matthew and Katyusha and headed into the house, rubbing his eyes. The coffee was wearing off. He could see that Alfred was slowly hunching over to show he was about to fall asleep himself. Heading over to the couch, he laid down and stared blankly at the television that was showing a game show Alfred had recalled watching from the time he was little when he was sick from school. "So it's only 11 in the morning….."
Ivan smiled at his husband's overly dramatic way of showing his exhaustion and noticed Katyusha and Matthew sitting in the kitchen. "Bol'shaya Sestra, Matt, Fredka and I got you something to eat."
"Oh, Vanya! You're home. Thank you so much." She took the other take out carton and placed it in front of Matthew. "One for you two. See, little brother doesn't hate you."
"Thanks Katy." Matthew said looking at the bacon, eggs and waffles in the container. "You went to Waffle House to spite Papa, didn't you?"
"How did you know?" Ivan asked surprised.
"I would have done the same thing." Matthew laughed.
"Well you should really thank moi" Francis said. "I would not have thought so if those two didn't make me."
"I would have done the same for Vanya and Fredka if we went with you to that insanity instead." Katyusha said as she poured a few packets of syrup and butter on hers.
"Yes, I know better than to ask either of you for this next year. Maybe Gilbert or Antonio?" Francis said as he placed the bag for Arthur in front of the man reading a newspaper.
"Dear god man, you do that, who knows what unholy trouble you three would concoct!" Arthur said as he noticed the food in front of him. "What is this?"
"I figured I would bring you back something more edible than your cooking. Barely more edible but still more edible." Francis sighed.
"Thank you for your thoughts." Arthur said as he opened the container as well.
"I'm taking Fredka and I back to bed." Ivan said. "I am tired…." As he said this, he heard a snore in the living room. "I think Fredka is already asleep." He picked up Alfred from the couch, carried him into bed and tucked him in before curling up in bed beside him. I'll just get the gifts out of the car later. Ivan thought as he held onto Alfred who let out a loud snore.
Arthur looked at the food in the box and closed it. "I think I will eat this later. I do thank you for your thoughtfulness."
"I do hope you remember it when I tell you about a business venture that I need your approval on." Francis said.
"How are you not as tired as Ivan and Al are Papa?" Matthew asked as he put the unfinished portion of his waffle into the fridge as well, but not before he took a knife and carved a crudely drawn maple leaf with a smile. Not wanting to seem like she was too hungry, even though no one would say a word to her about how much she ate due to her pregnancy, she put hers below Matthew's and sat back over at the table, curious as to what her father-in-laws were going to get into. Matthew may be tired of their bickering and if Ivan was in a foul enough mood, he'd tell both of them to Zatknis', chert voz'mi! Perestan' ssorit'sya khot' raz v zhizni! or pretty much to "Shut the fuck up! Stop bickering for once in your lives!", but Katyusha found it funny how they would go from arguing like they would get a divorce once the fight settled to a very loving display after.
"Oh the hopeful energy I have from this fantastic idea I have." Francis began.
"Well out with it frog." Arthur said.
"Ivan has taken to calling me that recently as well. A foul habit he picked up from you of all people." Francis said with Arthur smiling slightly.
"Well, he may not be as scary a son in law after all." Arthur mumbled but then turned back to Francis. "Seriously though, what did you get into?"
"Other than trying to figure out what to get the the kids," Francis said as he referred to Alfred and Matthew and their spouses in one go, "I did come across a dream of mine I want to do."
"I told you no when Gilbert and Antonio asked that one time." Arthur said. Matthew's face flushed, knowing too well from the times that his fathers had either forgot to shut the bedroom door or he or Alfred opened it while they were in the throws of passion just what they were alluding it. He looked over to Katyusha who had blushed a deep pink for the same reason.
"Now seriously mon cher, do you think everything I do is about sex?" Francis said.
"Yes." Matthew mumbled as Katyusha giggled and Francis cast him a look.
"Well our son's narrow mind aside," Matthew looked at Francis annoyed. "It's obvious if you have a pregnant wife you have done the deed at least one," He replied as he went on, "I met someone who is running a failing bed and breakfast, most likely from poor management."
"Are you going where I think you are going?" Arthur said as his eyes widened.
"Oui" Francis said. "I was thinking of buying this bed and breakfast not too far from here and running it myself. I am tired of being the head chef at the restaurant where no one appreciates my talents and want to do something all my own."
Meanwhile, Ivan had rolled over and tried to get comfortable while the excessive amount of caffeine he had consumed as part of his promise to suffer with Alfred through his papa's shopping excursion conflicted with his need to sleep. How Fredka can sleep while so full of coffee himself is beyond me. I don't normally drink it, so that may be the issue. He rolled onto his side and held Alfred close, who was now drooling on his pillow as he let out a snore, and then said, 'no no cheeseburger demon mint bunny' causing a slight smile out of Ivan. He had mentioned that Alfred snored and talked in his sleep sometimes, but this was always denied completely. It never bothered Ivan more than a fun conversation piece. It never made much sense anyway. Feeling his husband's heartbeat against his acted to soothe him as he started to drift off to sleep. Alfred always had a soothing effect on him, until he heard a yell come from the kitchen to his and Alfred's bedroom. "YOU CANNOT BE BLOODY SERIOUS ABOUT THAT IDEA YOU STUPID FROG! YOU KNOW NOTHING BEYOND MANAGING THE KITCHEN!"
Ivan woke up with an angry start and headed to the door ranting in Russian once he heard the loud screaming of the Englishman, "Chto, chert voz'mi, eti dvoye do sikh por? Pochemu ya ne mogu zasnut', poka oni zdes'?" Ivan began as he headed out of the bedroom door ranting in loud Russian as Alfred woke up.
"What the hell?" Alfred said as he rubbed his eyes and put his glasses on. He looked around and saw Ivan had left, and heard his Russian ranting when the door was shut behind him. "Awww fuck someone is in for it now." He said as he heard Francis yell back.
"WELL MAYBE NOT ALL OF US ARE CONTENT WITH JUST TAKING THE SAFE PATH TO MAKE A LIVING. WHERE IS YOUR SENSE OF ADVENTURE? WE HAD A CHANCE LIKE THIS WHEN THE BOYS WERE LITTLE!" Francis yelled back.
"Awwwww fuck," Alfred moaned. He normally did not get involved with his fathers' bickering but this time, as much as he hated to admit it, Arthur had the more valid point. But that did not mean that they could yell that much when they were at their son's house. He could tell trouble was coming when he heard Ivan speak up.
"YA dumal, ty byl vnimatel'neye, chem drat'sya v dome syna, kogda lyudi pytalis' usnut'" Ivan said as he stormed down the stairs, still tired and irritated.
"Dad! Papa! SERIOUSLY CAN YOU TAKE THAT ARGUMENT ELSEWHERE?" Alfred said stumbling out of the bedroom, glasses left on the bedside table.
Arthur had just yelled something about the boys were little and they didn't have the access to resources and capital at the time when he and Francis looked over to see a tired and exhausted Ivan and Alfred looking at them like they had done them a very offensive wrong. Matthew and Katyusha looked from the doorway to the old arguing couple and then back and forth. Matthew looked to Katyusha and then to his brother. "Maybe we should get dressed and start packing some of our stuff to move over here..."
"Nyet." Ivan said. "Fredka and I will help you get settled. Do not worry bol'shaya sestra about that."
"Yeah Katy, we'll help you guys sort that whole thing out." Alfred said. "But Dad, Papa, do you ever hear of a thing called volume control?" Francis and Arthur looked away embrassed. "You could imagine that something that loud would infuriate someone who was already trying to sleep, and that you knew we were trying to do that."
"Je suis désolé les garçons" Francis said looking at his feet and then to Arthur.
"I am deeply sorry for losing my temper like I did." Arthur sighed.
"I can understand why you would be mad, but did you listen to your husband Arthur?" Ivan said tapping his foot. "He's only thinking about it. He didn't make the sale or anything like that. Your concerns about the idea are valid." And I have to act like a mediator to my fathers-in-law while exhausted...Ivan thought as he rubbed his temple.
"But you didn't have to scream like that guys." Alfred said sternly as he felt around the kitchen to the coffee pot and poured himself a cup. "And Papa, maybe do some background research in the industry before you make the offer? Because if you go get a bank loan or something for a business, they are going to ask for a business plan. And while you certainly can show you have restaurant experience, banks can be real dicks on giving out loans, especially business loans."
"How do you know so much about capital?" Arthur asked. "You work with aerospace engineering?"
"Kiku works in the business industry. Mainly with Japanese and American business relations but he knows his way around these things. He had to do a mock up business start up from start to finish for one of his classes when I was his roomie. And trust me, I heard all about it, even though he didn't think I heard him." Alfred explained squinting at the coffee.
"I'll get your glasses dorogoy" Ivan said heading upstairs.
"If it would not be so much trouble would you give me this Kiku's contact so I can ask him how to do that?" Francis asked, shame coming up at how he had reacted. "You did have a point and if I can convince a bank, then I might convince Arthur."
"Sure. And our tax girl too so you can plan it well." Alfred said as Ivan handed him his glasses.
"The one you called, 'Mortica Addams with a foul mouth and a gun?'" Ivan asked quietly.
"Yeah. If he wants to move it here, she's the best he'll be able to get and if she scares him off, then Arthur won't approve and we won't have to worry about taking care of my parents. See why I wanted my own place after college?" Alfred whispered. "Besides, don't knock her skills, unusual is good."
"Sounds fair. And I guess you are right Arthur." Francis said as he looked at his son. "You can't start something like that on a whim."
"I won't deny the prospect of being closer to the boys isn't appealing." Arthur said as Alfred gulped. "But we have to be prudent. I still like my job and the city. You have to think of where you'd be living as well."
Thank god you brought that up Dad. Alfred thought as he lay back down on the couch and flipped though the channels. He heard his fathers making back up, and apparently Francis had poured on the romantic charm as he heard Katyusha giggle and Matthew make a noise like he was going to throw up as Ivan and them left the kitchen. Daytime TV...crapfest from hell... Alfred thought as he drift off to sleep when he felt a weight sit on his middle. "OOoooooooof!" Alfred said as he awoke.
"Oh, this is why the couch felt lumpy." Matthew teased.
"Oh you can shove it." Alfred moaned. "Where's Katy and Vanya?"
"Over there talking." Matthew said. "So to diffuse the situation when Dad and Papa get arguing, we need an exhausted and pissed off Ivan and you so they'll be willing to see sense?"
"Looks like." Alfred smiled. "Now get off, I have to catch up on my stories." He said as the channel stopped on a talk show where women were claiming certain men were their baby's fathers.
"You actually watch this crap?" Matthew asked.
"Only when I am too tired to keep channel surfing." Alfred sighed.
"Know that feeling." Matthew said as he lay back on his brother.
"You actually watch this crap?" Ivan asked as Matthew stared at the TV.
"Only when Al is too tired to keep channel surfing and I can't find the remote." Matthew said.
"Funny." Ivan said as he noticed the remote under Alfred's pillow. "There you go." He smiled at him. "I want to talk to Katyusha about things to do for Fredka for Christmas this year. Forgive me if I am not here with you."
"Need my help?" Matthew offered.
"Thank you but no." Ivan said. Matthew raised an eyebrow. "It's because I want to do something rather romantic and don't want to talk to your papa about it. She is quite good with things like that."
Matthew smiled. Katyusha was indeed very good at coming up with romantic surprises, that was true, but he couldn't shake the feeling that Ivan had an ulterior motive as well. Is he going to try and talk Katy into leaving me? Nah. I'd hear a whole lot of Slavic language arguments from that one. And Al would be totally pissed at Ivan for doing that. As if that wouldn't be the first argument in this house about something like that. Well, I'll just take him at his word... Matthew thought as Alfred let out a snore, turning on the couch, causing him to slip off his brother and onto the floor in front of the couch. As the talk show headed into a commercial break, an advertisement appeared on TV. "Channel 8 news is looking for applicants for our new openings in the newsroom. We are looking for anyone who can write, gather information or is just willing to be part of our fast action news team to apply. Head to our website and fill out the application and bring it in Monday-Friday 9am to 5pm for an on the spot interview. Apply today!" With this, Matthew's eyes widened. An English degree would certainly be appreciated there, or at least he thought that would be the case. I mean it is worth a shot. They would likely want someone to type the script for the teleprompter. I guess I could do that. And with this, he threw a fist down into Alfred's stomach waking him up. "Hey Al!"
"OOOOOOOOOOF!" Alfred said sitting back up. "Seriously, what the fuck bro? First Papa and Dad arguing waking Ivan up, then waking me up and then this?"
"Did you know that Channel 8 news was hiring? So much?" Matthew asked.
"No." Alfred said earnestly. "I don't watch the news that often. Only time I do is when I have no choice in the matter. It sucks. The only thing I need is the weather report and the sports scores and I can get those online without a million commercials."
"Well I am thinking of trying there. What do you think?" Matthew said.
Alfred looked at his brother's hopeful face. They aren't exactly looking for news anchor hosts, I know that. And it's not like Matt is horrible at his old job at the publishing company. He just got downsized at all. If I remember he had that offer before he graduated anyway. And I don't want to blow his confidence at this point. "Sure. What did they ask for?"
"Fill out the application and bring it to the station. They're giving on the spot interviews." Matthew smiled.
"That's a hopeful sign." Alfred nodded. "They won't jerk you around like I heard some of my other classmates talking about." Good to see Mattie so excited. "You want me to drive you as a sign of good faith on Monday?"
"Yeah. I want to get there early." Matthew said as Alfred gulped. "They open at 9. Reasonable business hours. Not whatever Papa wants to do after Thanksgiving."
"Thank the lord." Alfred lay back down. "Who knows, maybe when we come back Monday, Katy will be married to the handsome new anchor that will have all the girls swooning over him and she'll have to beat them off with a stick and have the honor of having been able to land such a winner."
"Now you're blowing smoke up my ass." Matthew said.
"We're twins bro." Alfred said. "If I was the dreamboat, then you were too and you were too shy to notice. Same with Katy actually. You two are so alike. Just think what you can do when you get over your insecurities."
"Stop reading those self help books so much." Matthew sighed rolling his eyes. "Thanks for the vote of confidence though."
"You're my brother. I know what you can do. Even if you don't." Alfred said with a wink and sticking his tongue out at him. "Now if you will let me be, go fill out the application while I sleep."
"Here's the pillow." Matthew said as he shoved it in Alfred's face.
"Hey don't try to smother me or I'll take back all the nice things I said about you!" Alfred laughed as Matthew walked away.
Translation Guide: (Obtained using Google Translate)
Chto, chert voz'mi, eti dvoye do sikh por? Pochemu ya ne mogu zasnut', poka oni zdes'?-Russian- What the fuck are those two up to now? Why can't I get any sleep while they are here?
YA dumal, ty byl vnimatel'neye, chem drat'sya v dome syna, kogda lyudi pytalis' usnut'-Russian- I thought you were more considerate than to start a fight at your son's house when people were trying to sleep
Nyet-Russian-No
bol'shaya sestra-Russian-big sister
Je suis désolé les garçons-French-I'm sorry boys
dorogoy-Russian-darling
So how was that? Good? Bad? Short? Long? Let me know in a review. Like I said, this is a very slice of life style fic so you know what to expect with it. I don't have much else to say really, so remember to read, well you just did, and to review. Ciao for now,
otherrealmwriter
aka
Realm.