Author's note: So I will HOPEFULLY have a chapter out Friday however I am having some oral surgery on Thursday. There is a chance I'll be feeling too awful on Friday to get a chapter out and if that happens I will get the chapter out Saturday

CW reference to the cut from last chapter, imagining something feels like a knife, and also emetophobia warning

-x-

November dawned grey and drizzly. Remus yawned, sliding out of bed and rubbing his eyes, trying to wake up. He had only gotten a couple of hours of sleep, and all he wanted to do was skip Arithmancy to sleep some more. Instead, he got dressed and headed down to the Great Hall. As he walked, he curled his fingers against his palm where he had cut himself the night before, wishing he didn't heal so quickly. That there was still something there as evidence for the vow they made.

The day stretched on forever, the only really interesting part being Muggle Studies when Professor Lewis talked about the upcoming Guy Fawkes celebration and the history behind it. Even Transfiguration was a little boring, since it was just McGonagall lecturing without any spell work. Really, the day was as dull as the sky after all the fun from the day before.

Except for the fact James was insisting they do Project TJ soon. He wanted to do it that night which Remus shot down, refusing to help him. He suggested they wait a few days so that way they weren't doing two similar things one after another. James thankfully agreed, and made the declaration they'd do it Saturday night.

"Don't you have practice Saturday evening?" Remus asked, since the Quidditch game was coming up soon.

James shook his head. "Afternoon. The Ravenclaws got the evening stretch."

"Saturday is my birthday," Sirius remarked and everyone looked at him. He jammed his hands in his pockets. "Only wanted to point that out."

James put a hand against his arm. "Want to sneak into Hogsmeade, then? To celebrate? After practice?"

Sirius grinned. "Nah, doing Project TJ is a thousand times more fun. That is a much better birthday present."

"What, watching your best friend get murdered?" Peter asked.

"Yes," Sirius replied. "Definitely."

Now they all looked at Remus who held his hands up in defeat. "Very well, Saturday."

-x-

Except Remus wasn't sure if he was going to even make it to Saturday. Thursday finished off being as boring as the rest of the day had been, and Friday dawned just as grey and dull. Potions dragged on, the free period dragged on, Defense dragged on, and then it started sleeting. Kettleburn had planned on an outside class, however was unable to do it due to the weather, so he was rather grouchy inside as he gave lectures on animal anatomy. The Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs who had been in the greenhouses the period before were still damp, some of them—including Remus—shivering. He considered summoning some bluebell flames under his desk but didn't want to risk it.

As soon as class let out he did, though, carrying the warmth in his hands as they walked through the halls.

"I thought you couldn't touch bluebell flames even if they don't burn you?" Peter asked, staring. "Doesn't that hurt?"

"Mine don't," Remus replied honestly, feeling a little proud at the ability to do this already. The only students he had ever seen carrying around fire like this were sixth and seventh years.

Sirius tried to imitate him and conjured some flames in his hand… and promptly dropped them to the floor, yelping. James put them out while Remus tried not to laugh.

The Marauders went straight to hot showers, Remus relishing in the feel and spending a little more time in his than usual. By the time he got out the other Marauders were already gone—or so he thought. James was going to practice a little early since he didn't have any more lessons that afternoon, which Remus knew would be happening. He assumed Sirius and Peter had gone with him.

Thinking he had some time to himself he situated himself at his desk and began working on homework while the radio played some wizarding rock songs. His toes tapped to the tunes and he hummed a little to himself as his quill zipped across the page, doing some calculations for Transfiguration. They were very simple which meant he didn't need to apply much thought to them, so instead he was listening more to the music than anything else. So when the door opened, he jumped a little, not having heard the footsteps.

"Heya." Sirius came into the room, a strange smile on his face.

"Not at the practice?" Remus asked, cleaning up the blot of ink that had smeared across the parchment.

He came over and hopped up onto Remus's desk, legs dangling down. "No. Not yet." He swung his leg, the backs of his heels thumping against the wood to the tune of the song playing. "What're you working on?"

There was a strange feeling in the air that set Remus's body hair on end. He tried not to squirm, strangely feeling like he wanted to run away. Like something was about to happen. Something not good. It didn't help that Sirius's heart was racing and he smelled nervous. "Transfiguration."

"I've not much head for numbers." Sirius picked up the paper, ignoring Remus's annoyed sound. "I don't know how you and James do these so easily."

Remus snatched his homework back. "It isn't all that difficult…" He trailed off, biting his bottom lip, realizing how condescending that sounded. "Of course, this is something we are good at, while you're much better at other things. You're doing incredible in Magical Creatures, after all."

"Very diplomatic." Sirius leaned back, fixating a piercing gaze on Remus. "You could be in politics." Remus only snorted at that and went back to his work. "Lily's going on another date with Struthers. Cassie told me."

"Hmm?" He peered up through his fringe. "To Hogsmeade, you mean?"

"You know about it?"

"Yes, she told me."

Sirius didn't say anything, just thumped his heels against the desk. "Does it make you mad?"

Not this again. Remus threw his quill down, glaring now. "No. I've no interest in Lily like that, I've said that multiple times and frankly am getting sick of saying it."

Sirius blinked a few times. "Right. So." He tilted his head back. "Is there a girl you do want to date? Alice, maybe?"

"No."

His chin came down, his eyes piercing Remus again. "No girls you want to go out with at all?"

Remus stiffened at those words which could have been taken innocently, at surface value. However, those combined with the feeling in the air made him think there was more to it than that. Panic bubbled up inside of him like lava, burning away at his soul. Had Sirius guessed? Overheard something? He was the one to figure out the lycanthropy thing, had he also somehow… figured out…?

Slowly Remus pushed his fringe back, trying his best to look casual, trying his best to come up with something that made sense, that would make it sound like he was a normal boy. "Not at the moment, I'm too busy with schoolwork. Between this and helping Jean-Marie, and Magical Theory, and the pranks…" He sat back in his chair, hands out, palms up. "I'm far too busy to even think about that sort of thing, and in any case I shouldn't."

"Shouldn't?"

He picked his quill back up, his fingers feeling frozen and numb. Was his heart beating a million beats a second or had it stopped completely? He wasn't sure. All he knew was a deep-seated terror that dug claws into his belly. "Sirius. I'm a werewolf. I can't go out with anyone. It wouldn't be fair. It'd… only be leading some poor girl on." He tried not to put any emphasis on the word 'girl' even though he wanted to. The parchment in front of him began pulsing a little, the words blurring together. He gripped his quill tighter. Please, don't let me throw up right here, right in his lap, he thought desperately, trying to hold the bile back.

Sirius tilted his head. "Just because you won't have anything permanent doesn't mean you can't go on a date or two."

"It wouldn't be fair, it wouldn't be right," he said, mouth dry, glad the words somehow managed to come out somewhat normal. "Nor would I like it. What if I casually go on a date only to find the girl of my dreams? It'd be cruel, to her and to me."

"How old are you?"

"Ha-ha. I have to be… old… about this. I have to be mature." He stared down at the paper which was blurring even more now.

"Well." Sirius leaned back again, his heart rate speeding up. It had been going rather fast as soon as he walked in the door and now Remus wondered if it was going to burst out of his chest. "Pretend you could—"

"I'm not playing that game—"

"Just pretend you could have a girlfriend, who would it be?"

Remus grit his teeth, trying to keep himself grounded, trying to keep himself still… trying to keep the utter panic inside. "I'm not going to pretend, because it won't ever happen."

Then Sirius said the words that felt like a knife to Remus's heart. "You're not even going to think about a girl you might like or… anyone?"

Anyone?

Remus tried not to swallow. Hoped his hands weren't shaking. Hoped the sweat he felt under his arms wasn't also dripping down his face. Hoped he looked normal.

He knows.

He doesn't know, he can't know!

Slowly he looked up, plastering an amused smile on his face. "Anyone? Who else would I date, the giant squid?"

Sirius stared back at him, and both their hearts were racing; Remus wondered vaguely whose was going faster. Was this it? If Sirius found out this secret there was no way he could stay at school, stay anywhere near Sirius. The fallout would be disastrous. There was a big difference between living with a werewolf and living with—someone like that.

"You don't want to date Lily?" Sirius blurted out. "Truly?"

The relief almost pulled Remus under. He wanted to sigh and sink down and cry and wallow in the joy of Sirius's question. He didn't suspect about that. He was suspicious about Remus's feelings for Lily.

"Let me put it as plainly as I can." Remus stood up, hands on his desk, eyes meeting Sirius's. "I have no interest in Lily as anything more than a friend, ever, period, end of story. Dating Lily would be more or less like… dating one of you guys. She is my friend. All right?"

Sirius held his gaze for a second… two seconds… then he averted his gaze. "Right. Sorry." He hopped down off of Remus's desk, a wave of negative emotions swirling around him. "Yeah. I think I'm going to go to the practice after all. See you later."

Before Remus could say anything else, Sirius was out the door and down the stairs.

Remus slowly sank back down, gasping a little for air like he had been drowning. What the hell had that been about?

His hands blindly reached out until they found the radio and he shut it off, the music too muffled for him to hear anyway. There was a ringing in his head, too, and blood rushing through which caused a wave of dizziness.

It had nearly happened—had it? Were his questions about Lily, because of Lily? Or had he suspected? Was it a close call? Was it not? Was he obvious? Was he not? Did he seem like a normal boy? Were his responses what a normal boy would say?

Lily suspected, Miss Fawley suspected, someone else could suspect. After inching over to his rubbish bin to empty his cauldron, he stared down at his shaking hands before dropping his head down in them and crying a little.

-x-

The panic kept hold of Remus. For the rest of his time alone he couldn't focus on anything, and he partially considered not even going to Ancient Runes, but when the time came he gathered his things and went, barely seeing anything, barely hearing anything except the pounding in his ears.

When he saw Lily he wanted to ask her—except he couldn't. Or could he? What would she say? No, he had to, to get advice. He sat through Ancient Runes with his knee jiggling and his quill twitching. At one point Professor Codde gave him a look, but thankfully when Quirke dismissed class, he wasn't held back. He grabbed his bag and took hold of Lily's wrist.

"Can we t-talk?" he asked, eyes wide. He wondered how scared he looked, but he must have looked somewhat frightened because Lily did too. She nodded, following him out of the classroom and down the hall until they wound up in a secret passage. Remus made triple sure nobody (Snape) had followed them before shutting the door.

Lily set her bag down. "What happened?"

"Nothing—"

She folded her arms. "Don't even give me that."

He wrapped his arms around himself. "No, really, nothing actually happened I—I just—I need—I need help."

"I'm ninety-nine percent sure it's nothing to do with school, right?" He shook his head. "Is it… er… that stuff you don't want to use the word for?" He licked his lips before nodding, grateful she didn't say the word. She leaned against the wall and sank down to the floor, patting the spot next to her which he plopped down. "What is going on?"

"I—I need… to seem… normal," he said nervously, ignoring the look she gave him. "I need advice."

"You are normal, Remus."

He closed his eyes, wishing he had said it differently. "I mean, I need… nobody else to suspect. I need—I need to seem—to seem—"

"Heterosexual?" she asked and he flinched.

"Yes. Nor—er, yes that."

She scooted closer to him. "You are normal. Say it. I shan't help you, unless you say it."

He let out a sigh. "I—I'm n-n-normal."

She gave his knee a pat. "Maybe next time you'll say it in a believable way, but all right. You want other people to think you like girls?"

"Uh-huh. I just need to know what I should do differently." He began tugging at his sleeve, remembering the way Miss Fawley asked if he was like that, because she knew that was the problem. "Obviously not saying I like tits." That earned a smile from her. "But… I don't know what to do. Sirius… hounded me today about it…"

"About what?"

He shrugged, tugging the sleeve more. "Girls. I suppose I need to start… acting more… er, heterosexual."

She pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. "There is no way for a heterosexual, or homosexual person to act. We are like everyone else."

That reminded him of finding out the word Fawley told him, and he almost told her—but he wasn't ready to tell her about Fawley, or attempt to tell her. So he remained silent, not even arguing what she said even though he wanted to.

"I guess maybe… look at girls when they go by? Like this." She pulled him up to his feet, straightening him by the shoulders. "Okay, walk by." She took several steps by and as they walked past each other, she glanced over her shoulder at him, giving him an approving look of appraisal. "Try it."

They passed each other again and Remus tried the look, and tried it three more times before Lily decided it looked natural enough. She did a little head toss with an eyebrow raise, which he had seen Sirius do on multiple occasions and never realized it was for something like that. He imitated her, nearly breaking his neck while she fell over laughing. After she calmed down, she showed him a few more times until he managed it. She also suggested to him glancing at girls during meals, perhaps seem eager to partner up with girls in lessons. Not Magpie, she reminded him, since he still hadn't done anything about that yet.

I need to participate more in conversations when the others talk about girls too, he reminded himself as they left the passage to head down to the Great Hall. Usually he sat there, barely listening to whatever they were saying. He needed to join in more, seem more… eager? Or something like that.

"Try it," Lily whispered, nudging him to indicate a fourth year girl about to pass by them.

Remus's breathing grew a little raggedy out of nervousness but as they passed, he kept his eyes on the girl, glancing over his shoulder for a few lingering seconds before turning his head back to the front. Lily gave him a grin, nodding to show he had done well.

"Do you want to go to the practice?" Lily asked as they approached the Great Hall. "We could get some food and head out. They'll be practicing late tonight, won't they? Since the game is next week?"

"Yes, it goes on until eight tonight but… what about Study Group?" He paused, realizing he wasn't sure how that was even going anymore. "How are things?"

"Fine. Twycross is still with us, and still… mouths off a bit though not as much as she used to. Florence told me that Craft wants to come back too, but he hasn't said anything to the rest of us."

"Would you let him?"

She gave a shrug. "Yes, I don't see why not as long as he is nicer now. But anyway, I'd rather go to practice. Er, to support Cassie. You know. Are you coming to practice?"

He shook his head, citing homework for why he wasn't. In truth he didn't really want to be around Sirius at the moment, which turned out to be a good thing because apparently he was in a rotten mood. When the Marauders came to the common room a little after eight, Peter looked like he had been sucking lemons while Sirius stormed to the stairs, ignoring his friends. While James got a shower, Pete explained that Sirius had been awful all evening long. Remus wondered briefly if it was because of what happened between them this afternoon but dismissed the thought; it couldn't be. Their conversation wasn't really that important, not for Sirius…

Sirius stayed shut up behind his curtains for the rest of the night. When James asked him to join them to work on Project TJ, he said he wasn't doing anything for the prank anyway so what was the point? Then he claimed to have a headache. So James, Peter, and Remus retreated to the bathroom to work on it without him. Afterwards, when they were going to spend time in the common room like usual on Friday nights, Sirius pretended to be asleep. Remus knew he was pretending but didn't say anything.

"What's got his wand in a knot?" James asked after they relocated down into the nearly empty common room a little before midnight.

"Maybe he fought with Cassie again," Peter suggested. "I saw them talking a little at practice then he wouldn't look at her again after."

James snapped his fingers. "You're probably right. Ugh, girls are too much drama."

Remus saw a perfect time to practice his… being a normal boy. "I don't know about that," he said, trying not to flinch when his voice pitched higher from nerves. At least his voice was breaking anyway and it didn't sound like panic, but his normal problem.

James and Peter both stared at him in shock until he wanted to run away.

"Well, well, well," James snickered. "And who's caught your eye, Remy?"

He ducked his head, shuffling through the cards Pete dealt to him. "Nobody in particular." He hoped they wouldn't push him because if they did he didn't know what in Merlin's name to tell them. "But they're not all that awful."

Thankfully they didn't, and instead they all focused on the game and Sirius being a brat. Remus let out a slight sigh of relief, wondering if this was going to be the rest of his time at school. Feeling like he was walking on eggshells as he pretended to be a normal boy in more than one way. Not like that, and not a werewolf. It felt too much—too heavy. But at least he didn't have to fake the first one with Lily, or the latter with the Marauders.

-x-

Sirius was in a much better mood the next day, which was good since it was his birthday and he was now fourteen. He strutted around the dorm, chin held high, a smirk on his lips. That was until James asked him if his cock was bigger—a reference to Sirius's disappointment on his thirteenth birthday—and while Peter and Remus burst into laughter, Sirius tackled James to the ground and sat on him until he apologized.

They ate breakfast in a secret passage; they wanted to go to Fort Dragon, but it was sleeting heavily so they were stuck inside. Peter and Remus fetched baskets of food from the kitchen and the four of them ate behind the mirror on the fourth floor. It was a cavernous room, big enough for a party which Sirius mentioned.

"That means people knowing where this is," James pointed out.

"We should find a place to have parties," Sirius said, sticking several pieces of bacon in his mouth at once.

"Like… the common room?" Pete asked.

Sirius lobbed a piece at him. "No," he said after he finished swallowing. "For other houses too. A nice big place we can all sort of… you know…" He waved his hand vaguely through the air. "That isn't a passage to Hogsmeade that James wants to keep top secret for some reason." …

"What about the secret room on the sixth floor, behind the painting of the ceffyl dwr?" Remus asked.

All three of them stared at him. "Sorry, the what?" James finally asked.

He tried not to roll his eyes. "You'd consider it a kelpie, however it isn't. It's from Wel—"

"NO!" James and Sirius both exclaimed suddenly, while Peter looked frightened. Remus frowned, gaze switching between each of them.

"Er." James messed his hair up, putting a cheeky grin on his face. "It's not that big. It'd do for a small party."

Remus slowly took a bite of his eggs. "Right. I'm not stupid. I assume this is where you're making your potion?" They exchanged panicked looks before trying to deny it. "Blimey, how do you get away with anything?!" he demanded which made them fall silent. "I won't go near."

Except he would, he had to. He had to know what they were keeping so secret from him—or, no. He should stay away. He had to trust that they'd bring him in when they were ready. But would they? Or would they? Or would they keep him out of the loop? He didn't understand why they still kept him out of this plan… he knew they were up to something, they knew he knew, he might as well know everything!

It still stung.

The now slightly stilted conversation changed to other things, mostly the prank for that night. James kept bringing up the fact Remus was the key player in all of this, probably to try to flatter him and make him feel less bad about the other thing. He smiled and nodded, hiding the hurt.

"And then next week Cassie will get to play, since you'll be dead," Peter said.

James snorted. "Do you really think McGonagall is going to kill me?"

"Yes," all three chorused.

He pulled a face. "All right, yeah, probably. Hopefully Bell won't be too mad."

Hopefully McGonagall won't pull him off the team, Remus thought, keeping his mouth shut because he didn't want James to fret over that and even if he thought it was a possibility, he'd still want to go through with Project TJ.

-x-

They celebrated Sirius's birthday properly in the afternoon after Gryffindor's practice, with a big cake and their now-tradition of lighting up their wands while they sang. When they finished and Sirius made his wish and blew on the wands, James, Peter, and Remus chorused 'nox' to put the 'candles' out. After a lot of cake they dumped their presents into Sirius's lap and he opened them up.

From James, a record player and two Muggle albums which caused Sirius to squeal a lot and immediately start playing them. James suggested playing the first song on the second side first and Sirius obeyed, sending an intense rock song blasting through the room.

We all came out to Montreux, on the Lake Geneva shoreline, to make records with a mobile. We didn't have much time. Frank Zappa and the Mothers were at the best place around. But some stupid with a flare gun burned the place to the ground. Smooooooooooke on the waterrrrr… a fire in the skyy…

"I figured you'd like it because of the guitar, it sounded… like you," James said as Sirius bounded around to the music.

"I love it!" He did another twirl before opening the rest of James's presents, which were sweets and a bottle of butterbeer. He opened Pete's next, another bottle of butterbeer, a framed photo of the four of them, and another frame with four different pictures of Sirius and James together. "Thank you!" Sirius gave Peter a tight hug before moving on to Remus's meager and small gifts. He didn't knit anything this year, since he was too worried to knit after everything his father said over the summer. Between that and not going to Hogsmeade… he didn't really have much for Sirius. A few sweets, and then a fancy little pot. It was porcelain and black, with gold roses painted on them, and he had gotten it from his father's shop. He had written to them in September asking them for something for painting, claiming that he wanted to learn. His parents had sent him a few brushes and the little pot, and it made Remus feel guilty for lying about but… at least he had a present for Sirius.

"It's for paintbrushes," Remus explained in a small voice, wishing he could give more to his friend. "When you fill it with water it's supposed to instantly clean off paintbrushes when you put them in. I tried it and it worked but—"

Sirius crushed him in a bear hug, Remus's face squashed against his chest. Then just as suddenly he let go, looking a little awkward. "That is amazing, thank you!" He went through his things until he found some of his painting gear. He dabbed a tiny bit of paint out and swirled a paintbrush through it. He filled the little pot with water and dipped the paintbrush in it. When he pulled it out, it was perfectly clean. He even swiped it down a piece of paper and there was no color, only a slight darkening smudge from the water.

"Everything is wonderful!" Sirius looked at his gifts, beaming. He then grabbed all of them, yanking them in for a group hug. "I'm so lucky to have friends like you!"

The others danced to the music while Remus sat on top of his desk, legs crossed, toes wriggling to the tune as he watched his friends. He snuck another piece of cake, swiping his finger along the frosting and sucking it off. He did this till the frosting was gone and then he ate the rest of the cake, licking the crumbs off his fingers. Sirius kept looking his way until he finished, then tried to goad him into dancing. Remus shook his head, whimpering when Sirius grabbed his wrist.

"It's my birthday," he said, helping him off the desk. "One dance." He moved the needle to play Smoke on the Water again and Remus reluctantly joined in the dancing, feeling awkward and clumsy even though it was only the Marauders. He had no rhythm whatsoever and knew he looked ridiculous as the others swirled around him. He was glad when the song ended, until Sirius lifted the needle up completely, stating he needed to go.

"Go where?" Pete asked.

Sirius bounced over to the wardrobe and opened it, peering at the mirror on the inside of the door. "Cassie and I are celebrating my birthday," he explained as he brushed his hair.

James folded his arms. "Since when? You didn't tell me."

Sirius messed with his hair until he decided it looked good. "Last minute plans." He rummaged through the clothes until he found a nice jacket, slipping it on. "I'll be back for Project TJ, don't worry."

"That isn't the point." James almost sounded like he was pouting.

Sirius gave them a wink. "Wish me luck!" he said before bolting out the door, leaving the other Marauders standing in uncomfortable silence.

Peter was the one to break the silence. "What was that about? Since when did he—why is he—"

"This is why girls are stupid!" James went over to the door, wrenching it open and slamming it shut. "Today was our day! He could spend time with her tomorrow!"

Remus leaned against his desk, stomach dropping a little. "He's free to spend his birthday with whomever he wants…"

James scowled. "He should have told us when he made the plans. Warned us. I—we—we didn't even get a chance to set off any fireworks!"

"We can set them off tonight, when it's dark and looks better," Remus suggested. James outright glared now. "It is his birthday… it isn't as if he abandoned us on one of ours."

James's shoulders slumped. "I s'pose that's true… well… fine, but he's not getting any cake left over."

-x-

As dinner grew closer and closer, Remus grew more and more nervous. Project TJ was going to be… okay, he had to admit it was going to be hilarious, but it was also going to seriously push McGonagall into a temper. She was going to murder James, or something, and all he could hope was she didn't find out Remus was involved. Then again, after Sirius showed up just before supper and announced his news, Remus wanted to die anyway,

"Guess what?" Sirius looked very happy. "Cassandra and I are… officially… going together now."

James and Peter both gasped and then began congratulating Sirius, smacking his back and punching his shoulder. He puffed his chest out, running his fingers through his hair, looking proud.

"Congratulations," Remus managed to get out and also slugged Sirius's shoulder, determined to be one of them, determined not to look like the rug was yanked out from under him. He knew this day was coming, knew it would happen eventually… if not with Cassie then with someone.

And he should be happy for his friend. Sirius was happy, so he should be happy and not…

Not…

I am not heartbroken. Remus gave Sirius another slug, forcing a smile on his face when those silver eyes met his. "Very happy for you," he said, pleased to hear the tone sounded right. That he didn't sound utterly destroyed, or utterly jealous.

Sirius punched his arm back but there was something strange in his voice, like… sort of monotone. "Maybe you'll be next, Rem-Rem."

"Shame Cassie is going to be a widow now," Remus quipped back. "I must kill you, for that nickname." There was something in the air, and Remus was scared it was because of him, because of how he felt. Because of his wrongness—or… whatever it was, since Lily wasn't wrong. His… otherness? "Later, though. After Project TJ," he added, hoping to change the conversation, to move away from the heaviness. "We are doing it tonight, aren't we?"

James rubbed his hands together. "Oh yes. You two go get seats, Remus will join you in a moment."

Remus gladly went with James to the same passage they used on Halloween. James pulled his record player out of his bag, followed by the album. "This is going to be brilliant," he giggled as he set everything up.

Remus used the first part of the sound spell, sending a ball of blue light to hover near the record player. When he used the other one, the sound would transfer from the first ball of light to be blasted out of the second one.

"I'll count down ten minutes," James said, checking his watch. "Then I'll do it."

"All right, I will have the other spell finished by then. Don't make any noise before, otherwise…"

James nodded. "I know. Good luck."

"Good luck to you."

Remus went into the Great Hall and saw pretty much everyone was distracted by the food that had just appeared on the tables. He shot out the spell as discreetly as it could, sparing a small glance at the light that settled up among the rafters. Sirius waved at him to indicate where he and Peter were sitting, and Remus purposely sat next to Peter so he wouldn't be by Sirius.

I'm happy for him, he thought as he put food on his plate. I'm happy for him, he and Cassie make a terrific couple. He poked at his food, trying not to imagine Sirius asking Cassie or how she might have felt or the kiss they probably shared after.

Stop, you don't even like Sirius like that, you simply think he's good-looking because he is, and liking someone because they are good-looking is different than properly liking someone. Remus poked harder at his food. You can think someone looks good without actually liking them.

His gaze went down the table until he saw Cassie. She looked glowing, beyond happy. Lily and Alice were beaming too, and he knew she was talking about her newfound relationship.

"Helloooo!" James's voice boomed across the hall and Remus jumped, realizing it had already been ten minutes. Because of the spell's placement in the rafters, his voice echoed back and forth and it was difficult to tell where it originated other than somewhere above them. "I hope everyone can hear me," he continued with a laugh.

All the students and teachers were looking around at the ceiling, except for McGonagall who was looking at the Marauders. Remus could tell what was going on in her head. One, two, three. James was obviously missing, so whatever was going on was live.

"I am terribly sorry for interrupting your probably delicious meal, however I have something important to say, about someone who is dear to my heart. A very special witch, who deserves a very special song."

Remus noticed a few girls sat up straighter and some of them giggled.

"And so I dedicate this song to the one, the only, the lovely, the enchanting… Professor Minerva McGonagall."

Her face paled slightly and her lips pressed into a thin line. Remus knew by watching her that it probably gave it away that he knew all along what was going on, but he couldn't help it. He wanted to see her face when the song began. And it did, going straight into lyrics without any sort of musical build-up.

WHAT'S NEW PUSSYCAT WHOA OH OH OH WHAT'S NEW PUSSYCAT WHOA OH OH OH OHHHH!

McGonagall had been in the middle of standing and now she froze, all color completely gone from her cheeks. Then color flooded back into her face, and Remus marveled a little. He didn't know any human being could turn such a shade of purple.

Pussycat, pussycat, I've got flowers and lots of hours to spend with you. So go and powder your cute little pussycat nose!

A few more daring students began laughing, while most simply waited for McGonagall to go on the rampage. Slowly movement returned to her body and she walked around the High Table.

Pussycat, pussycat, I love you yes I do… you and your pussycat nose!

Dumbledore was shaking very, very slightly and Remus could tell it was with suppressed laughter. Flitwick was covering his mouth, while Sprout had both her hands in a steeple over her mouth, shoulders shaking. Slughorn was frowning but there was a slight tug to his mustache that showed he was trying not to grin.

WHAT'S NEW PUSSYCAT? WHOA OH OH OH! WHAT'S NEW PUSSYCAT? WHOA OH OH OH OHHHH! Pussycat, pussycat, you're so thrilling, and I'm so willing to care for you, so go and make up your big little pussycat eyes!

"Should we run for it?" Pete whispered as McGonagall walked towards them, her eyes (big little pussycat eyes, he couldn't help but think, and almost died of laughter) glued to them.

"Innocence, my dear Marauders," Sirius hissed out, straightening up.

Pussycat, pussycat, I love you, yes I do… you and your pussycat eyes. WHAT'S NEW PUSSYCAT? WHOA OH OH OH! WHAT'S NEW PUSSYCAT? WHOA OH OH OH OHHHH!

She finally reached them. "Where is he?" Her voice was clipped and steely.

Sirius propped his elbows on the table, his chin in his hands. "I haven't the faintest, Professor."

Pussycat, pussycat, you're delicious and if my wishes can all come true I'll soon be kissing your sweet little pussycat lips.

Her current lips were pressed into the hardest crease Remus had ever seen. "Are you telling me that none of you know where he is?" She looked at Sirius, then at Peter, and finally at Remus.

"He didn't tell us anything," Sirius said firmly.

"We're just as shocked as you are!" Remus managed to say.

Pussycat, pussycat, I love you, yes I do! You and your pussycat lips (whoaohoh!), you and your pussycat eyes (whoaohoh!), you and your pussycat… noooossseee….!

The song thankfully ended, and there was a scuffling song, and then, "Finite incantatum!" before silence draped over everyone in the Great Hall. Even those who had been laughing had stopped and a few students were even standing up to see what would happen to the Marauders.

"You had nothing to do with that?" she asked, her voice wrapping around them like a devil's snare. "Mr. Black?"

"Nope."

"Mr. Pettigrew?"

"N-no!"

"Mr. Lupin?"

Remus tried to ignore the feelings of guilt piling up inside of him. If Dumbledore didn't look so amused, he probably would have cracked already. "No," he whispered.

She tilted her head, eyes focusing on the ceiling now. "There must have been a connection spell. Wands out, all of you."

They all pulled their wands out. "See? We aren't doing any sort of connection spell," Sirius promised. "James must have put something in here."

"I'm sure, and I suspect that the 'something' is sitting right in front of me." She jerked her arm and the blue ball of light slipped out from the rafters near the doors, filling Remus with relief he hadn't done it right above him. Except McGonagall was looking at him again. "This is a fifth year spell."

Sirius spread his hands out. "We're only third years."

"Mr. Lupin, please hold your wand up," she commanded and he couldn't disobey. He did so, knowing his trembling hand was betraying him and even without the spell she would have known. When she said the spell, he winced. "Prior incantato."

A ghostly blue ball of light that matched the one near the ceiling emerged from Remus's wand. Sirius went ashy, Peter gave a squeak, and Remus slid lower in his seat trying not to empty his cauldron as all eyes in the Great Hall went to him.

McGonagall's face went flinty and she twitched her wand, causing both the ghostly orb and the real orb to disappear. "You and Mr. Potter are to report to my office at 6pm. Tell Mr. Potter if he is not there, he is going to be suspended." With that she left the Great Hall, her robes swirling behind her until they disappeared behind closed doors.

Remus let out a moan and slid completely under the table, covering his face, glad that he had at least a couple of good years of life before he died.