"What did she look like? Can you imitate her face? What did she say? Was she furious? Did any of the teachers laugh? Did anyone at all laugh? Man, I wish I could have been there!"
James was bouncing up and down excitedly, a sharp contrast to Remus huddled on the bench with his arms wrapped around himself, moaning slightly. They were waiting outside McGonagall's office, a minute and a half before six.
"Project TJ was a success!" he added, turning to Remus. "Stop looking like a ghoul."
"We're going to be ghouls in a moment!"
James kept bouncing. "It was brilliant, brilliant, absolutely brilliant! As soon as I heard that song I knew, I knew we had to—oh!"
The door opened on its own and James grabbed Remus's hand, pulling him in. McGonagall sat at her desk, body stiff, mouth still in that impossibly flat line as the boys sat down.
"Hallo Professor!" James said brightly. "Did you enjoy the song?"
She flicked her wand, shutting the door. After that there was silence, except for James's excited heartbeat and Remus's terrified one. Finally, McGonagall lay her hands on her desks and looked down her nose at him. "Why?" she demanded, the word piercing the air.
"Why what?"
"Why did you do that?"
James tilted his head to one side. "Because you turn into a cat." When she remained silent, he continued with, "Have you ever heard the song before? I thought of you the moment I heard it, and wanted to share it with—"
"Silence!" she snapped and Remus cringed back. James's mouth slowly shut. "I can't even begin to—I don't—you are—" She stopped, taking in a slow, deep breath. "And you, Remus. I would have expected this from James and Sirius… but you?"
He looked up, everything a little blurry from tears. He tried to apologize, but no sound came out, and she obviously didn't want an apology anyway with the way she held her hand up. "You don't have to do everything they tell you to do, you know that, right?"
"We don't—" James started, but swallowed his words when she glowered at him.
"Five nights of detention for you," she hissed out. "For being so… discourteous, disrespectful, and impertinent towards a teacher, towards your Head of House! Twenty points from Gryffindor, and a five foot essay—"
"WHAT?!"
"—on how one should be polite and considerate towards their teachers, due in one week."
James slumped back, the essay being the worst part of the punishment.
Remus sucked in some air when she faced him, prepared for whatever she doled out. "Five nights of detention for you as well, and ten points from Gryffindor, and a five foot essay on why it is important for one to stand up for oneself."
Those words punctured his soul and he wanted to shrivel up into death.
"I am beyond disappointed in both of you." Even worse. "I cannot imagine what possessed you to think that was a proper thing to do, James, especially with the Quidditch game coming up."
"I—I'm still playing, aren't I?" he asked faintly.
She tilted her chin down, looking over her spectacles at him. "Only just. I did consider removing you from the upcoming game, however I shall be lenient. This time." With that she nodded her head towards the door. "You two may go."
They scrambled out of the room, James's hand finding Remus's and squeezing.
"I will be contacting your parents as well," she said and Remus would have frozen in place if James didn't yank him out of the room.
"What?" he whispered, whipping around to stare at the closing door. "Did—she—the—she—parents?"
"Wow!" James laughed, hugging Remus. "We got off a lot lighter than I expected. Hey!" He waved at Sirius and Peter who were waiting. "Our bodies are intact and we're still breathing! Sort've."
What is she going to write? What is she going to tell them? Remus continued to stare at the closed door, feeling sicker than he had before. He would have taken a month of detention over this! His friends were babbling, their words flowing over him like a rock in a stream. This wasn't some prank she can claim I did on my own, it's intrinsically tied to James.
Something slammed into him, knocking him out of his thoughts. "It was hilarious!" Peter giggled in his ear. "Wasn't it? Remus?"
"My parents," he croaked out. "She's g-g-g-going to write to my parents!"
"Don't worry, that's usual for something this big," James said.
"No." He staggered back, out of Peter's arms. "N-no, you don't—I don't—I can't—she c-can't—"
"Breathe," said Sirius. "Pete, smack his back."
Peter immediately smacked his back as he began choking on his own air. He was guided to a bench and sat down, head between his knees as he tried to calm down.
When he could talk again, he looked up at his friends. "There isn't any way for Professor McGonagall to tell my parents what happened without mentioning James. They'll know I—I did something with someone, they'll—I can't—I'm not supposed to have friends!" He buried his face in his hands, wondering why he ever agreed to this stupid prank. "I'm going to be in so much trouble." Would they pull him out of school? He realized with a twist of his guts that yes, most likely they would.
James sat next to him, rubbing his back. "Hey, calm down, it can't be that bad."
"One of the biggest rules they set down for me was not to make friends," he moaned out. "Now they'll know I broke that rule."
"Tell them that I bribed you," suggested James. "I can give you money, as evidence. You're the smartest kid in the school, of course I'd bribe you."
"No, they—they'll be mad I ever agreed, even for that!"
Suddenly, a slip of paper shot out from under McGonagall's office door and began fluttering down the hall. All four boys stared at it then James took off like a rocket, diving onto it to catch it. It strained in his hands, since it was enchanted to go to only certain people. It was a teacher's note to a Prefect, asking them to do something. James read the note then let go, and the paper flew off.
"It's asking someone to fetch two school owls," he said grimly.
"McGonsie likes sending her letters to parents right away," said Sirius.
Remus put his head down again as his breathing became rapid and painful. He wheezed and gasped for air, seeing everything unfolding before him: being taken out of school, possibly out of the country. Would they go that far? His mother would, if she could; his father probably wouldn't. Still. Life at home… only learning from books…
No Marauders…
"Why me?" Peter wailed after a second.
Remus glanced back up, realizing his friends were talking among themselves. After a few seconds they explained their plan: Peter would get hurt or hexed, and James would tell McGonagall he was being bullied. He'd take McGonagall a little bit aways and then Sirius was going to sneak into her office and rewrite the letter, making it sound like Remus did something by himself. With luck the letters were already sealed up, so Sirius could reseal it and McGonagall would never know the difference.
"That… relies… a lot on pure luck for timing," Remus said, seeing the futility of the plan.
"What else can we do?" James asked
A thin thread of courage wound its way up Remus's spine and he stood up. "T-talk to her myself."
"What?"
He ignored them and went over to the office door, knocking. McGonagall said to enter and he did, knees quaking a little at facing her again only moments after everything she said. Her disappointment in him. He saw there were two envelopes on her desk, one that said Potters and one that said Lupins. The Lupin one was sealed, and she was in the middle of closing the one to James's parents.
"Yes?"
He sat down, eyes on the letter. "Profe…" He gulped, trying to regain that bit of courage he had a second ago. "Professor," he squeaked out. "A—about the l-letter to my—my parents—"
"When a student does something like this, their parents are always informed," she reminded him.
"I know." He gulped again, his mouth as dry as a desert. The words clung to his thick tongue, needing force to get them out. "It's just… my—my parents… don't… didn't… they don't r-really approve of—of me… having friends." McGonagall stared at him, rather impassively. He had no idea what she thought about that. "They think if I h-have friends then th—those friends will g-g-guess my—guess that I'm—um—you, you know. And. Um. So. They, erm, they don't want me to-to-to have friends. And. Th-they don't know. That. Er. That I do."
McGonagall reached up, removing her spectacles so she could rub her eyes. "Remus—"
"And—I—I know it—it's—I sh-shouldn't ask anything from you," he continued, "after wh-what happened, but—I w-was wondering if—if you c-c-could possibly—I don't know if—I don't know what they'll do if they think—if they think I have—if they know about—if—"
"Remus," she said again, this time so firmly that he shut up. "First of all, I am well aware of your parents' desire for you to remain alone. They sent me a letter about it."
Remus's jaw dropped slightly. They had done what?
"Do you remember our conversation, around two years ago?" she asked and he shrugged. They had loads of conversations in the autumn term of his first year. "It was when you came to me after hexing Mr. Black, to confess you had done so, and you told me it was risky for you to have friends. That you didn't have friends. I wrote to your parents then, because I was concerned for you. They replied that that was precisely what they asked you to do, and to keep my eye out in case anyone tried getting too close to you. They informed me of the same thing you said: that it was dangerous and risky."
Remus's head spun with this new information.
Her face remained stern however her voice softened as she said, "This secret is also safe with me. I have never once told them that you have grown close to anyone. Not to Miss Evans, nor Mr. Silverlocke, and especially not those three boys." She motioned towards the door. "I assume you came to me because of this?" She held up the envelope. "Concerned that I mentioned that you pulled a very disrespectful prank with another student?" He was unable to do anything but nod mutely. "I didn't. I simply said you disrupted dinner with an advanced spell, and that you are in trouble for doing magic out of class."
His jaw dropped again, this time farther, clear to the floor practically.
"I do not like to lie to parents; however, under the circumstances I believe that, unfortunately, that is the best course of action. Come in," she said as someone knocked, and a Prefect came in with two school owls. "Thank you, that is all." The Prefect, eyeing Remus, nodded and left. McGonagall stood and began tying the envelopes to the owls' legs. "I also want to inform you that I disagree with your parents."
"Um."
"I think that Misters Black, Pettigrew, and Potter have been good for you. This is going to Fleamont and Euphemia Potter," she told one owl before opening the window and letting it fly off. "And you are going to Lyall and Hope Lupin." She sent the other owl off and shut the door. "Even if they pull you into their ridiculous tricks." McGonagall sat back down, lips still thin. "Second of all, my door is enchanted."
"Huh?"
"It's difficult for people to listen in, however I can hear out. I heard every word of their… plan to distract me and rewrite the letter."
Remus shrank a little, wondering if he was going to be in more trouble. Instead that thin line finally disappeared and the faintest of smiles replaced it.
"They really are good friends for you, Remus. You may go. And you also may want to remind them not to plot right outside of teachers' doors."
-x-
Sirius and Remus just barely made it to Magical Theory, although Remus wished they hadn't after Chang decided to involve the sound spell with the lesson. He talked about how a lot of spells were invented out of need such as the sound transference spell, and when he asked if anyone knew why that spell had been invented and Remus raised his hand, Chang gave him a look.
"Besides Lupin," he said, eyes locked onto Remus's eyes.
Another student said Saint Mungo's, for patients and staff to talk between rooms and floors, which was correct.
"Of course, there are those that like to take spells made for important use and twist them into something else entirely," Chang said and everyone looked at Remus who wanted to die. "Yes, Black?"
Sirius lowered his hand. "Were you born with your wand stuck up your arse or did you put it there later?"
When Sirius was kicked out, Remus went with him, too humiliated to stay there alone. He almost felt like crying, but managed not to.
"What a wanker," Sirius complained as they went through the school, Remus scuttling along while Sirius took long, angry strides. "What a total and utter wanker, he better watch it."
"Don't," Remus said softly. "Please."
Sirius just ignored him. "He's a bloody seventh year, insulting you like that, what a damned piece of shite! I've half a mind to talk to Flitwick about what he said, but revenge is sweeter."
"Please."
But of course, Sirius ignored him.
-x-
The Marauders stayed up very late that night, celebrating Sirius's birthday some more as well as their 'victorious' prank; except for Remus who felt down because of Magical Theory, though he tried to smile for his friends' sakes. The girls stayed up for a while with them, and Sirius and Cassie held hands a lot. Remus did his best to ignore them. When Lily quietly brought up their change in status, Remus shrugged and said it was about time.
"It doesn't bother you?" she asked.
Remus stared straight into her eyes. "Why would it?"
Sirius played Smoke On The Water multiple times, until a sixth year came over and said if he played it one more time he was going to give the record to Peeves to play with. So Sirius flipped the record over and played Side A instead, using a spell to make the volume a little louder.
Nobody gonna take my car I'm gonna race it to the ground. Nobody gonna beat my car it's gonna break the speed of sound. Ooooh it's a killing machine, it's got everything! Like a driving power, big fat tires, and everything. I love it and I need it I bleed it! Yeah it's a wild hurricane alright hold tight I'm a highway star!
The sixth year came over again and there probably would have been a fight but Lily stepped between them, calming the sixth year down. Sirius turned the volume down and the sixth year stalked back to his friends.
"—purposely cause problems?" Cassie was asking when Remus moved closer.
"I don't purposely cause problems," Sirius replied, taking a swig of butterbeer. "Not my fault if those idiots don't know good music." He began pretending to play a guitar when the guitar solo came on and Cassie rolled her eyes. Remus was a bit shocked. Problems already? But when Sirius finished his fake guitar solo he grabbed Cassie and began dancing with her, both of them grinning.
James was dancing with Alice and Peter was dancing with Lily. Remus drew his feet up onto the chair he was on, feeling left out. Feeling scarily left out. Except there wasn't another girl for him to dance with, and he hated dancing anyway—and they knew it. So it'd be fine.
"I'm going to do that one day," Sirius said after the song ended.
"Eh?"
"Be a highway star, race a Muggle car." Sirius's eyes sparkled at the thought. "I bet it'd be a lot wilder than racing brooms. More dangerous."
Remus remembered the previous year, when Kyra Pierce said she had been in a car wreck with her family and her cousin had died. He had an image of that happening to Sirius, and a shudder went down his back.
The girls went to bed around midnight and the Marauders stayed in the common room till about three in the morning, playing games and eating sweets until they were sick. Then they went to bed, only to wake up about three and a half hours later when it was time for James's practice. Remus went too, mostly since he wouldn't be able to make it to the game, and spent the next couple of hours holding bluebell flames in his hands for warmth and trying not to fall back asleep.
At lunch, owls showed up with notes for James and Remus, telling them their detentions. Both were to report to Filch that afternoon at four.
"Filch?" James moaned. "Great. We're gonna be scrubbing out loos, probably."
Nap or homework? Remus wondered, shoveling food into his mouth, feeling very hungry. His body said nap, his brain said homework. James said pranks. Don't you ever get tired? he wondered, not saying it out loud.
"I'm sleepy," Pete said. "I'm gonna take a nap."
"I think I will too," Remus chimed in.
James and Sirius went off to find students to prank while Peter and Remus went to their dorm. Remus tried to do a little bit of homework but couldn't keep his eyes open. When he woke up again it was because Peter was shaking him, telling him it was twenty till four.
James and Remus went down to Filch's office, and the caretaker gave them both a cruel smirk. "Mr. Potter, back in my office already. And Mr. Lupin… you're not here as much as I think you probably should be." Remus's eyes were in the chains and manacles hanging up on the wall. "Shame I can't do that," Filch sighed, sounding sad. "Real punishment, that's what you deserve." He stood up. "Come with me."
It turned out they were doing scrubbing, but not loos: benches. They were to scrub all the benches in the main corridors and if they had time, work on the side halls. There were probably hundreds of benches throughout the school and Remus felt exhausted at the mere thought.
"You can work together or split the work up," Filch said after James asked. "As long as it gets done."
They decided to start from the eighth floor and work their way down. There weren't many on the uppermost floor of the school, as hardly anyone went up there. They worked on a bench together, each scrubbing off half before moving on to the next one. James worked slowly, yammering a mile a minute and getting distracted easily. Remus wound up doing more than half per bench.
"Let's just do magic," James said after the fourth bench. "How will he know? Scourigfy!"
"That isn't—"
There was a burst of soapy bubbles from James's wand, forming a foamy waterfall that swished down the corridor.
"James, why?"
They watched the soapy foam stream away from them, not stopping even when Remus grabbed James's wrist and told him to stop. James tried but nothing worked until he used the finite incantatum spell. It stopped the bubbles coming out of his wand, but left them with the river of bubbles down the corridor.
"Brilliant," James laughed. "Let's fill someone's dorm with soap and bubbles!"
Remus rubbed his forehead, feeling a headache coming on. "We need to clean this up."
"No we don't." James turned to face him. "The benches are clean now, we can go downstairs."
"No, we—we can't leave this!"
"Yes we can." James picked up the bucket and began wading through the bubbles. "Come on! It's someone else's problem now."
"We have a responsibility—"
James held his hand up, pressing it against Remus's mouth. "I don't like that word. We've done what was asked, we cleaned the benches. We have more to do, and the quicker we get things done the quicker we can go back to the dorms. Why do we need to clean this up?" He waved his other arm at the soap, water sloshing out of the bucket. "Filch told us to clean the benches, not the entire corridor."
"We made this mess," Remus pointed out then frowned. "Actually, no, you made this mess."
"CAN'T HEAR YOU!" James shouted as he marched towards the stairs. "Too busy cleaning benches!"
Remus groaned and followed James, arguing with him all the way down the stairs. The bubbles were dripping down the stairs but it was mostly in the corridor. There was still enough on the steps for Remus to slip onto his bum and slide all the way down to the bottom of the stairs. James laughed and sat down, sliding down the steps, sending the water from the bucket splashing everywhere.
When he came to a stop next to Remus he grinned. "That was fun!" He set the bucket down and climbed up the steps, clinging to the railing to haul himself up. Once at the top he sat down and bump-bump-bumped down the stairs again, laughing. "Is there a spell to make the stairs smooth? Like a slide? A soap slide!"
"No!"
But James was going up the stairs and this time when he reached the top he dove forward into the suds, disappearing completely. When he popped up he was covered in bubbles and, shrieking with laughter, he slid down the banister.
"That is so much more fun when you're slippery!" James grabbed Remus's wrist. "Come on, try it!"
Remus tried to wrench free. "Merlin's beard, we are in detention!"
"Who says we can't have fun in detention?" James let go and went back up the stairs, doing another dive onto the floor. "Come on, stop being such a dementor!"
Remus stared at the soap trickling down the steps then turned, picking the bucket up and going over to the nearest bench. He ignored James's yelps of joy as he scrubbed the bench off. After a few minutes James came over, leaving a trail of suds behind him.
"Come on!" he said again, grabbing Remus by the arm and shaking him. "Sirius would!"
"I'm not Sirius."
"You're too serious, and not enough Sirius," complained James.
Remus straightened up, pushing his fringe back, leaving a trail of sudsy water across his forehead. "I will gladly play slide-in-the-corridor when we are finished, however this is our detention! We are supposed to be cleaning the benches off. If we don't finish our detention properly, we'll only gain another night of detention and frankly, I don't want to have that happen!"
James stared at him for the longest of time then reached up, a pile of bubbles in his hand. Remus, knowing what was coming, closed his eyes as James blew the bubbles into his face.
"Dementor," James said, and returned to the eighth floor.
Filch showed up when Remus was on the fifth floor, on his knees, carefully scrubbing a bench off. He looked up when the caretaker approached and said, when asked, "I'm n-not sure where James went."
Filch looked at his pocket watch. "Your detention time is up. I'd keep you longer but your teacher told me to let you off at curfew. I'll inform her you didn't finish your detention."
Remus opened his mouth to argue that that wasn't fair, that he had been doing what was asked… then slowly closed his mouth, knowing it was futile. Normally, he would offer to help carry everything back down however the outrage over 'not doing his detention' was too strong and he simply wiped his hands off on his jeans and walked off.
James was in the dorm by the time he got back, laying upside down off the edge of his bed while Sirius and Peter tried to toss raindrops into his mouth, small little sugared treats that fell on the floor more than ending up in his mouth.
"There you are!" James exclaimed, sitting up, a raindrop bouncing off his head. "What took you so long?"
Remus stood there in dirty, damp clothes, knowing there were smudges and streaks all over his face and his hair was completely bedraggled. And James sat there, clean and in nice, comfy pajamas.
He almost yelled at him. Almost. He wanted to, more than anything else, but somehow managed to keep his temper locked away. "Finishing my detention," he finally said, stepping over the raindrops to get to his wardrobe.
"Why?"
"Because that is what you are supposed to do in detention." Remus yanked the wardrobe open and rummaged around for some pajamas and clean pants.
"You seem upset," Sirius remarked.
Remus turned around, wanting to scream, wanting to throw his clothes, wanting to shake James for being such a self-centered idiot! "I have an extra night of detention," he forced out. "Since I did not finish tonight's detention." With that he swept past his friends and to the showers. Once under the spray of hot water he sank down to the floor, hugging his knees to his chest, letting his anger bubble away at his insides. A few tears of frustration slipped down his cheek, mingling with the water.
I shouldn't have ever agreed to do Project TJ in the first place, he thought, pressing his forehead against his arms. Except he had enjoyed it. It felt good knowing he had pulled off a complicated spell. And he had to admit, it was funny. No, it was hilarious. If someone else had done it he probably would have been on the floor dying of laughter.
It was Peter waiting for him when he emerged from the shower. He jumped up when Remus pulled the curtain back and gave him a small smile. "You mad at us?" he asked.
"Not at you, no," Remus assured him as he went to brush his hair and teeth.
"James?"
"A little."
Peter followed him to the sinks, fidgeting a little. "Tell McGonagall, and she'll probably let you off the hook for that extra night." He watched the brush go through Remus's wet hair. "She knows you would've finished the detention on your own, and it's James's fault not yours."
Remus set his brush down with a clank. "I really don't want to think about it right now, Pete. Please."
"Ooookay. Oh, erm, Sirius said to tell you something that might cheer you up. He said that while you were in detention he 'hexed that smug wanker' whatever that means."
Chang, Remus thought, feeling even more miserable. "Thank you for telling me, Peter."
Peter left him alone as he brushed his teeth, staring at his reflection, feeling like a wimp for not being able to face off to James about this. For not wanting to, for not wanting to risk getting James mad at him. For not wanting to splinter anything.
Am I a coward? He spit the potion out in the sink and rinsed his mouth out. Was not wanting to tip the cauldron, so to speak, a bad thing?
They're good for you, McGonagall had told him the night before. They were, even if they drove him absolutely mental sometimes. And he was very lucky to have them.
By the time he returned to the dorm, his anger had curled itself up into a little manageable ball somewhere in the pit of his stomach. When James apologized, Remus smiled and promised it was fine. He joined in for a few rounds of cards before disappearing into his bed to work on some homework until he fell asleep.