So, let me tell you how I am so sorry that I bought Tasha into this. It has to happen though and I promise it's worth it. Please remember that we all make mistakes and in this case Dimitri made a big one, but the situation is majorly complicated and he's just trying to do what he thinks is right. I sat down and I know how the rest of this story is going to be. I know what needs to be done. I know you will love me…but first you're going to hate me. I wrote and rewrote this chapter six different times but what's about to happen…it needs to happen. Please leave a review and let me know what you think! Oh and I took down the sequel. I'm in the works of rewriting it.
"Mommy do you think Santa will be able to find us without a tree?" I ask as we watch tv from our hotel bed.
Mommy smiles down at me before getting up from the bed and grabbing the stack of green sticky pads from my backpack. Scary mommy is gone and instead I watch with happiness as she makes a tree on the wall smiling and dancing to the Christmas songs on the television. Finishing her task she holds out her hand and I quickly take it and squeal with laughter as she jumps on the bed and starts dancing.
"MOMMY!" I laugh loudly as she makes me dance with her.
"Dance with me Rosie!" She sings out as she shakes her but. "Come on or the elves will forget to tell Santa where we are."
I quickly throw myself into dancing and smile so widely my cheeks hurt. Mommy looks so happy I forget that she's been mean all year. We only stop when we're out of breath and mommy gets off the bed and pulls out tree shaped cookies from her drawer.
"I got these just for us and Santa." She says as she hands me some and then leaves the container out on the dresser.
"But mommy, what if he doesn't know we're here?" I asked feeling worried.
She strokes my hair and gives me a kiss.
"Of course he will baby. Santa would never forget the best little girl in the whole world."
Opening my eyes, I feel overwhelming sadness wash over me and let out a low sob as I pull the covers over my face. I let my tears out into the blankets as I try and get a hold on my emotions. My chest feels as if it's been torn to shreds and loneliness runs through me. Christmas is in just two weeks and with had come the memories.
"ROSIE WAKE UP!"
Mommy's eager voice wakes me up along with her gentle shaking. Opening up my eyes I blink up and mommy's bright face. Smiling back I sit up and squeal at the array of presents under the sticky note tree. Glancing up at mommy I feel warmth fill me as she lays a gentle kiss along my forehead.
"Santa found us baby girl."
Christmas…the one time of year my mother transformed into a real mom. It was the one time I felt loved by her. The thought makes my head hurt. Getting up I look out the window. Snow falls in thick sheets from the sky. I can't even see the lake. I feel brief worry about getting to work drift through me. Brushing it off I walk into my closet and pull on a pair of dark jeans and a simple V-neck. Tucking the shirt into my pants I shove a knitted cardigan over it and some boots on my feet. I'm in the middle of brushing my teeth when I hear the door open.
I feel myself stiffen slightly as Dimitri takes his place at the other sink. Rushing to finish I rinse out my mouth and put up my toothbrush.
The last week had been extremely tense between us. While we saw each other in class, I'd made sure to avoid him during the rest of the day. At home, I was sure to leave the books he left outside my door set neatly in his doorway. I let the hot chocolate left next to me during homework go cold. I'd even taken to leaving out the back door of the bakery to walk home on my own. Each task left me feeling emptier and emptier but I know that I just can't handle having to see and talk to him like before. I may understand why he was doing what he was doing, but I couldn't help my actions.
"Good morning." He says as I turn to walk away.
I don't say anything as I walk out of the bathroom and go to shut the door behind me but a hand keeps it from closing. I don't say anything to him and choose to stare at the floor.
"Rose." Dimitri says before sighing when I don't reply.
Turning away I go to walk into my room when his hand grabs my wrist. I flinch at the tingles that that erupt where his skin meets mine. I force my body to stay turned away from his. My body protests but I stand firm.
"I don't want it to be this way." He says as he his body moves forward to press against my back. "Please understand."
His pleading tone makes me want to give in but flashes of my mom giving in to Jerry flash through my mind. If she was strong she'd stand firm. I pull my arm from his grip, but find I can't move when his hands grab my hips. His body presses against my back and I feel my head tip to the side to bare my neck to him. What's left of my heart starts to beat faster. His breath is nest to my ear and still loose hair brushes my skin.
"Rose…" He whispers. "Please understand?"
My eyes flutter shut as his lips brush my neck. Warmth spreads through me and I let out a soft sigh. I feel him turning me and I let tears slip down my cheeks. Calloused thumbs wipe them away as he cups my face.
"Open your eyes Roza." He begs me gently. Opening my eyes, I stare into his.
"Why are you doing this?" I ask shakily. "Haven't you done enough?"
My hands cover his and I let out a trembling breath. His eyes look pained.
"I can't help myself." He murmurs. His breath moves over my face and I feel slightly dizzy. "It's like no matter how hard I try I just keep coming back to you."
His lips brush softly over mine and I can't help myself as I lean up to meet his better. A moan slips from me and I open my mouth to let his tongue in. Our kiss is tinted with the taste of my tears. For once stay slow and gentle. He takes his time exploring my mouth and I relish in the way his hands cup the back of my head and hold me gently to his body by my lower back. My hands cup the back of his neck as I stand on my tip toes to reach his mouth. A groan sounds out from him and my body trembles in response. Pulling back, I lower back down and push against his chest.
"Stop." I tell him breathing deeply, trying to steady myself. His fingers move to stroke my face but I push them away. "I'm not a homewrecker."
His body freezes at my words.
"It's not like that." He pushes out.
"It is and I can't do it." I insist my voice is starting to crackle. "You're hurting me."
He looks as if I've slapped him. Stumbling back towards the bathroom his gaze never leaves my face. I point at him with a shaking finger.
"You chose this. I thought…I know…I understand why, but I thought I could trust you." I stutter. I feel like flinching at how Mary Sue I feel. "You're just like everyone else in my life. You come in it and then you leave me all alone. Except you come back to…you're torturing me Dimitri."
Stepping back, I grab my satchel from where it's hanging and pull on my coat and gloves. Dimitri watches me with guilty eyes.
"Get your shit together." I stab at him.
Without another word, I step from the closet and head out to work.
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"Blackjack!" I call out as I lay my cards down on the table in front of me. "Pay up motherfuckers."
A series of groans meet my victory and I quickly collect the pile of bills placed in the middle of the table. Glee fills me and I whistle a happy as I quickly count $50 worth of cash and change.
"You have to be cheating!" Mason exclaims as he stares longingly at his lost money.
"No, trust me she's a fucking card shark." Viktoria assures him sounding defeated.
"How am I supposed to explain to my parents where my money keeps going?" Eddie groans.
"How about I let you take home a box of those turnovers you like so much." Lisa says glumly.
"HEY!" I shout out. Everyone stops to look at me. "Don't be bad losers. You all knew you'd have your asses handed to you the minute you walked in here."
"Fuck you Hathaway!" Mason laughs as he throws his cards at me.
Standing up I make a show of dancing before I plop myself in his lap and throw my arms around his neck. Eddie, Lissa, and Viktoria break into fits of laughter at his surprised look.
"With a dirty mouth like that I just might." I purr playfully.
"Oh please. You'd crush me before I'd be able to get to the main part." He jokes. At this point the other three are in hysterics.
"You know I like my French fries." I wink at him.
Lisa and I were the only ones to make it in due to the storm. Barely anyone trickled in except Eddie, Mason, and Viktoria. Thus, started playing cards to pass the time. Due to my, cough cough, background...I had become the undefeated champion. The ringing of the doorbell draws everyone's view.
Dimitri and Tasha enter the bakery together. They laugh together as Dimitri holds a bunch of bags for her.
"Tasha!" Lissa calls out happily. She rises from her seat next to me and rushes over to hug her.
Dimitri's gaze moves to our table and narrows at me sitting in Mason's lap. Pretending not to notice…or care, I lean down and plant a kiss on Mason's cheek before standing up.
"That's for the all the cash I won off you lover boy." I wink at him.
He flips me a bird as I head behind the counter. I'd met Mason and Eddie at school when we were pulled together for an English project a couple of days ago. Clicking instantly, they could always be found in here on my shift or sitting with me at lunch.
"Hey Rose, did you manage to get the thesis outline done?" Eddie asks as he shuffles the cards.
"Yeah but I'm not sure Stan is going to be impressed." I tell him before turning to face Dimitri, who'd walked up to the counter by now. "What can I get you?"
"Do you always sit on boys laps like that?" He says lowly so no one else can hear him.
"Only those who don't plan on casting me aside like trash." I say sweetly. "Anything to drink sir?"
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"Rose…Rose…ROSE!" Viktoria's excited voice jolts me awake and I groan when I see it's 1am in the morning.
"What the hell Viktoria?" I grumble as I sit up.
"Karolina is having the baby." She squeals. The statement jolts me wide awake.
"HERE?" I squeak.
"No, mama is about to take her to the hospital." She says as she drags me from the bed and down the stairs.
"Wait! Viktoria I'm barely wearing anything." I tell her.
"You're wearing enough." She calls without looking back.
Her excitement is huge and I can't help but smile at it. Hitting the bottom of the stairs I find Sonya and Olena helping Karolina pull on her coat. Viktoria lets go of my hand and starts putting hers on too. I stand there awkwardly, feeling out of place in the situation. I hear footsteps behind me and know it's Dimitri. A sharp intake of breath tells me he's either spotted Karolina or has taken notice of my sofie shorts and my loose tank. I have to fight not to smirk. Karolina stops and lets out a pained groan.
"What about Paul?" She pants out. "Who will watch Paul. I don't want to…AH…wake him."
I step forward quickly and take her hand. She squeezes tightly and looks at me wide eyed.
"I'll watch him." I tell her as I smooth back a soaked strand of hair. She smiles at me thankfully and nods. "Good luck."
I watch as the group of women disappear out of the door and turn to face Dimitri slowly. I try to ignore the way his eyes quickly move over me.
"Could you bring all the furniture downstairs for me? I'll go get the clothes and bed sets I ordered." I ask him.
He looks a little shocked that I'm talking to him but nods and heads out to the shed where I stored the boxes of furniture. Taking care to give him a wide berth I dart up the stairs and grab all the baby clothes I washed and folded into a basket from my closet. Carrying the basket downstairs, I head into the basement.
I'd never seen it before but I liked the layout. Straight ahead of the stairs was a blank wall. To the right in the corner laid Karolina's bed. In front of it is a small wrap around couch surrounding the right-hand corner. Catty cornered there is a portable plug in fire place and a tv mounted to the wall. To the left was a wall with a door in the middle. Two eight cubed organizers lay long ways on each side with cubby cubes in them. Pictures are set up on top of them and candle holders are mounted to the walls on both sides. A large area rug sits in the middle of the room. On the wall of the stairs to the immediate left there's a door I'm assuming leads to a bathroom. The wall in front of me is painted black with chalkboard paint and it's covered in Paul's drawings. Smiling at the sweet picture I walk over to the door on the left-hand wall. Opening the door, I find Paul sleeping in a pack and play in a room littered with toys. The walls are bare and there's a broken toy box in the left-hand corner.
Setting down the basket I pick up the sleeping toddler set him on the couch. Dimitri drags boxes into the room and I don't even have to ask for help. Together we silently work together in setting up the room. I had ordered a beautiful grey Sorelle Berkley 4-in-1 crib. I put it together in record time and set the mattress I had bought for it and dress it in a beautiful Belle Lulu 3-Piece crib bedding set. It had beautiful butterflies and flowers on it. I move the crib to sit in the far left-hand corner, facing the front towards the right-hand wall, the end facing the door. I attach the color making mobile to the back of the crib. Turning I find Dimitri has set up the 9-cube organizer and we move it to the back wall and set it in the middle. Putting in different colored drawers I quickly throw out broken toys and pack away the ones left into some of the cubes. I quickly set a simple lamp in the middle along with a new baby monitor. As Dimitri sets up the twin bed I got for Paul I set up two black Amanda Home Portable 51" Wardrobe closet organizers. Putting one on each side of the door I hang the clothes for each child in their organizer. I set spare sheets and duvet covers I'd gotten for Paul's downs comforter in one of the cubbies and set his bath supplies in the side pockets. I set up Zoya's the same way but make sure to add receiving blankets, all her small things, and bottles in the side. I use a drawer to store diapers and wipes. Proud of my work I turn around and put on Lullaby Bedding Space Collection Cotton Printed 3-Piece Duvet set on the newly made grey South Shore Savannah Twin Mates bed with 3 drawers bed. I watch Dimitri set the bed against the right-hand wall up in the far corner with the end of the bed facing the door. I quickly roll out a simple navy-blue rug in the middle of the floor between the beds and smile.
"This room looks amazing." Dimitri says sounding awed.
"I wanted her to not have to worry about a thing." I tell him simply. "When she comes home I want her to be able to relax."
"She's going to hug you and never let go." He says causing me to frown.
"I don't want her to know I did this." I insist.
I quickly grab some painted wooden letters and on the left-hand wall I hang them to spell out Zoya and do the same to Paul's side of the room. Next, I shove all the trash in one box. Turning I find Dimitri watching me amazed.
"What?" I ask feeling nervous.
"You don't want to take credit?" He sounds blown away.
"I'm not doing it for attention Dimitri. I'm doing it to help her out." I tell him as I grab the hammer and set it in the basket. "Now take this trash out so I can lay Paul in his bed."
Walking past him I cross the room to Paul from the pack and play. He doesn't make a sound or move a muscle as I move him to his new bed. Tucking him in I turn off the lamp and turn on the space night light. Closing the door, I stretch my cramped up back and spy the clock. Groaning I realize we'd been setting up the room for four hours. Making my way over to Karolina's bed I quickly make it and throw any dirty clothes into the hamper between the stairs and bathroom.
"What are we going to tell her? She'll know you did it." Dimitri informs me as he walks down the stairs.
I shrug as I fold up the blanket on the back of the couch. Sitting down I let out a relaxed sigh. My eyes feel heavy and I make sure the baby monitor is on and set it down on the coffee table in front of me. Dimitri sits down next to me.
"You really just wanted to help?" He asks.
"Why do you keep asking that?" I'm trying to ignore my body's awareness of him sitting so close. I remember something. "Thank you for helping me set it up. I'm positive it would've taken me much longer to get it ready."
"I keep asking because not many people would do what you've done." He says softly.
"I'm not most people." I tell him as I turn on the tv, hoping that maybe it would distract me from the heat of Dimitri's body.
"So are we never going to talk again." He asks ruining my semi-decent mood.
I don't say anything as I rub my eyes tiredly.
"I'm not sure Dimitri." I finally say. "I think what you did was really shitty."
"You have to understand_"
"I do understand. I understand but what you did still hurt." I tell him. "There had to be another way. Plus, you are using Tasha as a distraction…that's cruel to her."
"I'm not trying to use her." He says sounding angry suddenly. "I do have feelings for her."
"Wow, if you have feelings for her than why are you did you make out with me in the closet yesterday morning?" I snap at him.
Things are escalating fast and it seems like it's too late to go back already.
"Why didn't you walk away?" He snaps back.
Anger scorches my insides and I stand up and watch as he does the same. Pointing my finger at him I level him with a heated glare.
"I did!" I cry at him.
"After the kissing." He points out.
"You're a real piece of work!" I shout at him.
"SO ARE YOU!" He yells back.
"Yeah? Well fuck you!" I screech.
Dimitri glares at me before spinning around and leaving. Calming down finally I plop back down on the couch and pull the blanket around me before falling asleep.
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"Aunt Rose?"
Groaning I open my eyes and find Paul looking down at me with wide eyes. My heart gives a warm tug at his term of endearment. Sitting up I brush my hair away from my face.
"Aunt Rose?" He asks again trying to get my attention.
"Yes Paul." I ask as I yawn. Looking at the clock on the tv I find it's barely past 8am. "What do you need? Are you hungry?"
"Someone made my room!" He says excitedly.
Grabbing my hand he yanks me from the couch and drags me into his room. Letting go of me he runs around chattering at a million miles an hour about everything. Not catching any of it I just smile widely at him.
"Who did it?!" Paul asks very clearly. "Where's mama? I want to show her!"
"Your mom went to deliver your baby sister." I tell him. The room is forgotten as he changes the subject.
Groaning in my head, I decide I need coffee.
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"I'll be right back." I tell Paul. "I just need to go get some clothes for work."
Paul just kicks his feet happily as he eats his pancakes in his high chair. Setting down the baby monitor I take the other and run up the stairs. Getting to my room I quickly make the bed and put my bag and jacket on the bed. It had taken an hour to get Paul dressed and I had an hour and a half before I had to get to work. Going into the closet I quickly pull on a pair of jeans, purple tank, and a black cardigan before yanking on some shoes.
No one had called or come back from the hospital yet. I could always ask Yeva to watch Paul but I don't want to bother her. I brush my hair and teeth. I should ask Dimitri! The door opens and I turn to ask him but freeze. Standing in the doorway isn't Dimitri…but Tasha…dressed only in a large button-down shirt…Dimitri's button down. I feel like the breath has been knocked out of me. I can't even say anything.
"Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize anyone was in here." She apologizes awkwardly as she moves to leave.
I feel my heart burn to the ground though as Dimitri in boxers appears in the doorway behind her rubbing his eyes. Leaning down he kisses her neck.
"I thought you had to use the restroom?" He questions her tiredly. I feel nauseous when I realize he doesn't know that I'm here yet.
"I was but I bumped into Rose." Tasha says as she pushes him back looking embarrassed.
Dimitri's eyes snap up to mine.
"Rose…" He says hesitantly.
Trembling I don't say anything as I move back and close the door. I stand there for a second. My mind keeps flashing to the scene in the bathroom. Without crying. Without making a sound. I quickly toss on my jacket and throw my bag over my shoulder. Just as I'm coming out of my room I see Tasha leaving. She blushes when she sees me and waves fast before running down the stairs and out of the door.
"Rose." Dimitri says from his doorway. He's still in his boxers. Looking down he realizes this. "Wait right there. Just let me get dressed."
The minute his door closes I'm gone. Taking off down the stairs I grab the diaper bag and make sure it has everything Paul will need. Throwing the crayons and coloring book in it I zip it up quickly and pull, a now done eating, Paul out of his high chair.
"Come on Paul!" I tell him in fake excitement.
Tears are blurring my vision as I help him into his jacket. I'm just wrapping his scarf around his neck when I hear Dimitri's door open and close. Grabbing Paul's hand, I open the door.
"Rose! Wait up!" Dimitri shouts after me.
I quickly close the door behind us and pick up Paul as I rush down the steps. The door opens and closes and Dimitri runs out without a coat.
"ROSE!" His footsteps pound the pavement as he catches up and grabs my arm. "Wait!"
I set Paul down and grab his hand. Dimitri has a hold of my arm, except this time when he touches it the pain in my chest overrides the flames flicking out over my skin. I yank my arm away.
"Please just let me explain." He begs as I start to walk. "I called her over after we fought. I was just so angry."
I stop and spin towards him. Staring him straight in the eyes I let my tears fall. Paul stays silent as he senses something important going on.
"Speak to me." He begs.
"I have no reason to." I tell him. I watch as he stiffens. "You chose your way to avoid…look you do you and I'll do me."
"Rose." His voice is gently with a hint of desperation. "You know we can't and being friends…it was too strong. I care too much. I was in too deep."
"Did you sleep with her?" I ask already knowing the answer. My tone is blunt. My question clear. He looks pained.
"Yes." He says simply.
I feel my chest turn into a black hole. Laughing humorlessly, I look up at the sky and try not to let out the sob that's desperate to leave me. His hand reaches out to stroke my face but I slap it away.
"Don't fucking touch me!" I cry out.
The world around me starts tilting and I take a step back from him. My heart is breaking. I feel like I can't breathe. His face looks regret filled and I hiccup before a sob escapes my lips. Tears stream, against my will, down my face.
"Roza…I'm sorry." His tone is pained and slightly pleading.
Ignoring him I quickly walk past him with Paul. Wiping my cheeks, I turn to face him. Understanding of the situation or not, I want him to see to see the damage he's caused. His face falls at what he finds.
"You don't care at all, you're a fucking liar. Oh, and my name is Rose" I blubber at him before lowering my head and gently tugging Paul's hand and walking away from Dimitri without looking back.
I know you probably want to kill me but have patience. I promise this is well worth it. I PINKY PROMISE! Please leave a review and let me know what you think and try not to roast me too hard. I REPEAT! I PROMISE THIS IS WELL WORTH WHAT'S COMING!