I would just like to start this out as an apology. I know that it has been an extremely long time since I've last updated. Life had gotten in the way and it seemed for the longest time, that every time I sat down to write, I could only feel bone aching exhaustion. All I could focus on were the problems the kept burying me. What I wrote felt bland. What I read felt awful. I lost my passion to write and read and even enjoy life at all. I feel like it's almost been a year and a year is way too long. So much has changed in my life and it's so strange that I'm only 23, but it feels like I'm much older. Things have gotten better though. I've made a career. My marriage doesn't feel like it's crumbling anymore and instead feels like it can withstand anything. My kids are happy. We are in an amazing place financially. I can feel my passion to write returning as my life is filled with the joy and adventure it's been starving for since this time last year.

I'm happy to tell you that I've come back and I hope you enjoy this chapter. Thank you so much for all of your patience.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Vampire Academy or any of it's characters. Just my own fruits from my imagination.

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Rose's POV-

"I'm telling you, I heard Dimika with a girl…and he wasn't quiet about it either." Viktoria's face looks absolutely disgusted as we sit at the kitchen table.

"There's no way. If it wasn't for Tasha, I'd think he was a monk." I say calmly as I try and squash the horror washing around inside of me.

The smell of coffee and baking bread scents the air and I try to breathe in the scent of Olena's morning routine to calm me down. The exact opposite happens and I feel nausea try and overtake me as panic bursts throughout me. Shifting, I fight wincing as pain makes itself known between my legs.

"Did I hurt you?" His voice in my ear makes heat rise to my cheeks and I burrow a little more into the blankets.

"It's supposed to hurt the first time." My reassurance comes out softly.

His hum sounds out and I feel fingers run up circles on my stomach. Lips caress at my shoulder and his legs entangle with mine.

"I'm dead serious. I came home for my science book and caught what sounded like my brother trying to break through the wall with his bed. I almost knocked on his door, when I heard moaning." I watch as she shudders and force a laugh out.

If only she knew that it was me she heard, and it did feel like he was trying to bang me through the wall too. If only she knew that I had slept with her brother and snuck out of his room and into mine through our shared bathroom. The thought of seeing Dimitri still asleep in his bed as I escaped back to my room flashes through my mind. After I'd left I quickly showered, dressed, and made my way downstairs for breakfast like every other morning. I didn't try to wake him in fear of the full realization of our actions kicking in. Footsteps behind me catch my attention and I feel butterflies fill my stomach as the smell of Dimitri's aftershave fills the kitchen.

"Morning mama."

I don't look up from the homework I'm finishing.

"Morning Dimika. Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, I did."

Closing my book, I smile when a cup of coffee slides in front of me, but feel the smile fade a little when Viktoria's next sentence fills the kitchen.

"That's a lie!" She laughs out.

I watch as Dimitri glares at her and Olena looks confused.

"I'd be surprised if she could even sit down. Did she walk out this morning or did you have to wheel the poor girl out?"

"VIKTORIA BELIKOVA!" Olena shouts.

The question has me laughing even though the situation is alarmingly inappropriate. I feel myself relax when I realize they don't suspect at thing. Before anyone can say anything else, Yeva walks into the room.

"No more Viktoria. Leave Dimika be." Her commandment is heeded, and she stops in front of me. Her eyes sweep over my form and I feel like she can see right through me. A knowing smile spreads in her eyes and she strokes my hair. "Your petals are looking radiant today."

I feel a blush steal over my face and muster a small smile to give to her. While her comments still scream crazy to me, my fondness for the old woman has grown over the past couple of months. I pat her hand and stand up so she can sit down. Olena sets a plate of eggs in front of her, but Yeva's attention remains on me. Her hand pulls my arm so I'm leaning down next to her.

"My mother told me to use a cold washcloth to soothe the ache, but peas will do." Her whisper has me rearing back as if I've been burned. Her laughter peals through the air.

"Rose are you okay?" Dimitri's voice sounds concerned, and I find the whole kitchen watching Yeva and I.

"I…I need to get to work." I stutter out. Grabbing my satchel, I shove my math book into it. "Olena, I might be late for dinner. I really want to stop by Abe's after work."

"Abe's?" She asks as she pours hot chocolate into a thermos.

"Yeah, I wanted to see if maybe he might be okay with selling some of my scarves in his store." I tell her. "Plus, there is this really nice lamp that would be great for my desk. I want to buy it before someone else does."

"Okay, but if you need money for it let me know." She tells me. She pushes the thermos into my hands and kisses my cheek. "Have a good day at work."

"Yeah, have a good day Rose! I'll see you later." Viktoria says brightly.

"Do you want me to walk you to work?" Dimitri asks as he pours some coffee.

"No that's okay." I tell him before smiling innocently. "You should focus on getting your energy back… you old stud."

I turn and run out of the room as I hear Yeva and Viktoria's laughter roar out behind me. It takes me a tad longer to get to the coffee shop than normal, but once I'm there I'm distracted from the reason why I'm partially limping. I lose myself in preparing the daily pastries and hum to myself as Lisa sets up the register and unloads the delivery truck.

"So, I'm thinking of closing up the store tomorrow. I know you already have the day off, but this gives me a chance to go over some paperwork. I feel like it's been so busy lately we might need to hire a new person." Lisa's comment brings me out of my thoughts of last night. "Mason expressed some interest and he's great with the girls."

I laugh, she's not wrong.

"I think it would be good for us." I agree.

"Anything new with you? I feel like we haven't talked in ages." She groans at me playfully.

"Oh, you know…just sacrificing virgins under full moons so I can stay young." I tell her nonchalantly.

She raises an eyebrow at me and gestures towards the door.

"Forget I asked smartass. Now go open the doors. It's going to be a busy day, I can feel it in my bones."

If there was ever a time I hoped Lisa would be wrong, it would be today. It seemed that there was always a line. Person after person came through. Tables needed cleaned constantly. I'm surprised we didn't run out of coffee. Even Mason and Eddie deemed the place too crowded to hold their usual poker game. Yet the worst part was the ache between my legs. It had gone from mildly uncomfortable, to intensely painful by the end of the night. Not even sitting on my stool could solve the growing problem. Taking four ibuprofens, I find myself dreading the walk home. Thankfully tomorrow was my day off. Finishing my closing duties, I feel a small sense of relief when my pain dies down a little. Sighing I wave goodbye to Lisa and walk across the street to Abe's store. The smell of cinnamon vanilla reaches my nose and I let it warm me up. Walking through the store I find myself enjoying the act of looking around.

"Kid?" Abe's voice sounds from behind me and I turn to face him. He looks like the same Abe that I first saw. Same expensive clothing. Same air of mysterious violence. Same secrets flitting about in his gaze…yet something is different about him. I brush aside the wayward thought. "What are you doing here?"

"Is that anyway to talk to a customer old man?" I taunt him jokingly. He raises an eyebrow at me. "I saw a lamp in your window that would be great for my desk."

"Ahhh. Let me get that for you." He says nodding. "Adrian! Grab the desk lamp from the window and wrap it up."

I feel my eyebrows raise when I see the man from the coffee shop walk out from behind the counter. Seeing me he sends a smirk in my direction and I feel myself frown a little. Turning my gaze back to Abe, I find him staring at me with his own frown.

"What?" I ask.

"Nothing. You…you just remind me of someone when you frown." He says shrugging.

"How much for the lamp?" I ask.

"Free." He says with a shake of his head.

"You have got to stop giving me things for free." I tell him. "I'm not a charity case. I can afford to buy my own stuff."

"You may not be a charity, but a man can give people things if he wants to." He shoots back at me.

"How about you let me sell my scarves here in exchange for the lamp you've given me." I propose nonchalantly. "Then after the lamp is paid off, and if the scarves are well liked, maybe we could talk about me selling some blankets and things here. People love the originality and a blanket could sell for $200 apiece. We split the profits 80/20."

He stays silent for a moment before a large smile breaks across his face.

"Is that a little bit of an entrepreneur I see there?" His voice sounds mocking, and I raise an eyebrow again. Silence stays between us for a moment. "60/40."

"80/20. Anything more would be unreasonable." I don't budge.

Abe doesn't say anything.

"People love a good throw blanket. You'd make a decent penny." I skillfully add on.

Finally, he nods and holds out his hand.

"You're bargaining is a little rusty, but we'll make a shark out of you yet." He tells me as he takes the lamp from Adrian and hands it to me. "I expect at least six baskets of scarves. Matching gloves and hats would make it even better."

"Fine, give me two weeks." I tell him.

I start to make my way towards the door when his voice stops me.

"Kid."

Turning I look at him with one hand on the door. He looks like he's trying to get out something out. I almost feel concerned for him, when he finally starts to talk.

"I just wanted to say that…" He clears his throat. "I just wanted to say that you've come a long way."

"I don't understand?" I tell him feeling confused.

"When you first arrived, you were distant…cautious of everyone. Like you were waiting for someone to hurt you." He stops, and I feel my heart start to knock against my ribs. My hands feel sweaty. "I know it's only been a couple of months…but you look better. Happy."

"It's still hard." I tell him, surprising myself. "I…sometimes I still want to run. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. For everything to go back to the way it was."

My admission has me feeling exposed. Like I've been stripped bare in front of a room full of people. His eyes run over my face and I see a shadow pass through his gaze. Adrian disappears from the front of the store, giving the two of us privacy.

"Some things will always remain with you. It's to be expected." He replies simply. "Goodnight Rosemarie."

"Goodnight Abe." I return before leaving the store.

The walk home has an almost haunted feeling to it. For once the lights don't bring me joy. The snow is almost unseen. My conversation with Abe runs through my head repeatedly.

"Happy."

Could it be so simple. I'd only been with the Belikov's for almost four months and yet it feels as if a lifetime has gone by. Gone was the starving girl living in filth and in a downward spiral of instability. Now I'm a healthy teen with all the stability in the world. Good grades, a job, a place to call home, and even a relationship…even if it is unconventional. The change is blinding and leaving me feel dizzy in it's wake. Stopping in front of the house, I feel the urge to run away again. I distinctly remember the first time I'd stood in this same spot. Remember the exact same feeling. I wanted to run. Thought I could make it on my own. The air around suddenly feels too thin and I grip the fence to keep from crumpling into the snow.

"It's okay. It's okay." I chant to myself under my breath.

Closing my eyes, I force myself to take deep and steady breaths.

"I lost it all." Mom's voice sounds hollow. "I had it all and now it's gone."

She stops to look at me and her face looks haunted. Fear flits through me at the expression and I take a step towards the hallway.

"The same will happen to you Rose. Don't ever think differently."

I feel the world around me spin and the air grows thin again. Not even closing my eyes keeping me from feeling the ground tilting beneath me. My hands are stinging, and I hold onto the feeling of the pain to try and keep myself grounded. My head feels like it's trying to implode.

"You'll always loose it all."
 Gasping I try and draw air into my lungs. Oh God…I can't…I can't…

"Roza?"

Eyes flying open I find Dimitri in beside me. His expression is concerned as a he looks down at me…because I'm on the ground?

"I…I…" A wheeze breaks off my attempt to talk.

I close my eyes again, when I feel his hands grab onto my arms.

"Shhhh." He feels so warm. "It'll be okay."

His words aren't helping, and the lack of air is getting worse. Suddenly fingers dance across my cheeks before I'm pulled into a firm grasp. My body presses against his and I feel his arms tighten around me. The effect is almost instant. My limbs relax, and my head stops spinning. Taking a deep breath, I'm relieved to find air fill my lungs.

"Just focus on me." His voice is a deep soothing rumble. "Jesus your ice."

His statement brings forth the realization that I am, indeed, freezing. I push further into his warmth. Tears prick at my eyes at the state of weakness I find myself in.

"I'm sorry." I gasp out. "I'm sorry."

He rubs my back and then pulls away to lift my hands up for inspection. Blood oozes from ugly gashes. I hadn't realized I was gripping the fence so hard. He shocks me as he lets out a string of cusses and takes off his scarf to wrap around my hands. Helping me stand he leads me into the silent house.

"Everyone went to bed, but I got worried when you weren't home so late." He explains as he takes me up the stairs and into his bedroom.

Closing the door behind us, he sits me on the bed and disappears into the bathroom. The warmth of the room seeps into my ice-soaked bones. When Dimitri reappears, he kneels in front of me with a first aid kit. I don't say anything as I watch him work over my hands. I let the feeling of his touch reground and hold me to reality. The smell of his aftershave. The rough callouses on his fingers. Even the gentle strength in his grip.

Desperation for something rises inside of me and as soon as he's done wrapping my hands up I reach forward and entangle my fingers in his hair. Using my leverage, I pull his face up and lean down to kiss him. The taste of him fills my mouth and I moan and tug harder at him. Groaning, he spreads my legs with his hands and pushes his body between them, before grabbing my thighs and lifting me up as he stands. Our kisses grow frenzied as he turns to sit on the bed, leaving me straddling him. This is real. This is real. The thought echoes in my head as we pull away and I yank his shirt above his head, so I can run my hands down his bare skin. Electricity dances along my fingertips.

He pulls back from our kisses and runs his lips down my neck to suckle at the junction of my shoulder, causing my eyes to squeeze shut at the feeling. I roll my hips against his and moan softly. This is real. I think it again and feel pleasure rise inside of me when my shirt falls open and his lips lower more. His hands grab my ribcage and my skin feel on fire. Finger nails scrape down his arms and a sharp grind of my hips has me flipped onto my back, with strong tugs at my pants happening.

"Dimitri…" I breathe gently, yet urgently.

His movements become even more rushed as my clothes disappear and his pants do to. Reaching up I bring him back down for another kiss. This is real. THIS IS REAL. Fingers stroke. Tongues entwine. I…OH!

"Roza!" His exclamation sounds out in my ear as he slides into me.

Soreness flares and I feel tears surface in my eyes, but the pain is starting to fade as he gently pulls out and slides back in. Lifting my hips, I hear his breathing pick up. I do it again. Again. Again. Again. Oh God.

"Ah!" I gasp in his ear. My arms circle his neck. I need to get closer. His weight falls onto me. I wrap my legs around his lower back and I feel his hands grasp my hips as he pulls me down on his upward thrusts. The feeling of my nipples rubbing against his chest has my head spinning in a different way than earlier and I throw myself into this. I lose myself to the feeling of him. The feeling that has been fluttering in my chest the last couple of months turns into a knocking, but I can't shy away from it. I can't run. I don't want to run. I just want…I just want.

"Oh God." I chant. "Oh God."

We're rolling and I find myself on top staring down at Dimitri. Uncertainty fills me, but his hands guide me into a bouncing grind that has doubt flying from my mind. Bracing my hands on his chest, I feel myself speed up as I reach for the ecstasy he showed me just the night before.

"That's it. That's it Roza." His voice pushes me faster and faster and_.

My body fragments and I feel like times stopped. My breath pushes from me, but Dimitri's movements don't stop as he flips us back over and his thrusts turn into rough shoves and I tumble into another orgasm as his head throws back and he follows my lead.

"Jesus Christ!" He exclaims as he stops thrusting and collapses on top of me. I welcome the weight of him as I wrap my arms around him. Before too long he rolls off of me and pulls me against his chest. "You want to tell me what happened."

His voice brings back the memory of what led us to this moment. Cuddling further into me I shake my head. I don't want to talk about it. I just want to lay here and forget my fears. His fingers stroke my back and his other hand plays with mine laying on his chest. I close my eyes in content. This is real. This is real.

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Dimitri's POV-

"I thought things were going normally." Rose's voice sounds irritated as she strokes my chest. "The dreams stopped and I just…I thought I was fixed. It's annoying how this happened and that it couldn't happen in my room. What if someone saw me?"

"What if someone didn't?" I ask. "What would have happened if I didn't find you?"

"I would've gotten through it." She says simply. "Worse things have happened to me than a panic attack. Even if I thought I was fixed."

Anger floods through me as I'm reminded of her past. At the fact that she would've hidden her struggle from me. Anger that she thought she as broken to begin with. I feel like I want to hit something. I want to scream. It was easy to forget her life before. She's like any other teenager. Well dressed, working, does homework, hangs out with friends. Most importantly she smiles, and that alone can make you forget that there was a darker side to Rosemarie Hathaway than anyone would think. Taking a deep breath I get back to the matter at hand.

"Sometimes that's how trauma works. Things sneak up on you when you least expect it." I explain to her gently. My fingers slide down her back and I feel her shiver beneath my touch. "The important thing is to remember that it's not the same anymore. You're safe here."

"This is real." She whispers.

"This is real." I confirm.

Opening my eyes, I groan when I find Rose gone…again. It's been a month since we've taken to the path of well…

"FASTER!" Rose's command rings over and over as I bend her over the desk and pound into her.

….

"Do you like my mouth here?" My head falls back when her sentence ends with the tip of my member being suckled on. Her tongue massaging the underside of my dick.

….

Rose's soapy skin slides against the tiled wall of the shower as I roughly thrust into her slender body. Her legs tighten around my waist and I know for a fact her fingernails will leave imprints on my back, but I could care less as I pick up my pace.

…..

Rose's taste fills my mouth and her broken moans sound above me as I circle her clit with my tongue.

….

"You can't expect me to be able to pull this off! No one is that flexible!"

"I stand corrected."

Bit's and pieces of memories from the month have me hard and ready in just seconds. Groaning I rub a hand over my face. You'd think fucking like rabbits over every surface we can find would soothe the constant need to be inside of Rose, but if anything, it had only increased it. Every night spent in pleasure, but by morning the same thing happened…I'd wake up alone. Sighing I roll out of bed and start on my push-ups. Even without the sex, the last month was more than I could ever hope for.

Every day is the same, yet different. Rose seems to bring out the unexpected in everyday tasks. For someone who views themselves as broken, she seems to be unaware of the fact that she could make the simplest thing, like snow, into something so much more.

"I love the way the world looks after it snows. It's like everything's been purified. It's so clean."

To think that just months ago I was running from her faster than a child runs from peas. Now I feel like I'd stop breathing if she left me. Sighing I stand up and run a hand over my face. In the past I thought I knew what love was. I thought I loved Tasha. In fact, I'd insisted that she was the love of my life at one point. Now just thinking about it makes me shake my head. With Rose it's different. She's it. She's the one. The passion is unmatched, but other than our physical relationship it was everything else. It's how her eyes light up when she's talking about a book. The way her hair smells after she walks through the rain. It's how we sit and drink hot chocolate as we do our respective work. Where life had once been gray, she'd filled it with color. No matter how mundane the task is.

Pulling out clothes I set them on the bed just in time for my door to slam open and Paul to come flying into my room faster than a track star.

"Uncle Dimika!" He exclaims. His eyes are wide with excitement and his frame is practically vibrating. "I SAW IT!"

Confusion fills me as I start to get dressed. I watch the boy with curious eyes and nod at him to continue.

"I had a dream about it." He carries on. "I thought I was wrong, but she touched my hand and then I saw it!" Paul keeps rambling on and on. His little voice filling my room as I tug on clothes and watch him with amusement. "She touched my hand at breakfast! I SAW IT! I'm so excited. I'm so excited! I'M SO EXCITED!"

"Calm down Paul." I chuckle as I grab my tie. "You'll make your mother cut you off of pancakes again."

"I can't calm down!" He shouts. "This is just too big!"

He's jumping on my bed now and I'm about to tell him to get off when I feel a tug in my chest. I know what it is, and I don't even need to turn around to confirm it.

"AUNT ROSE!"

Paul's screech has me wincing. 8am and the boy was already in full hyperdrive. Turning I find Rose watching the little boy jumping on the bed with amusement. The warmth on her face makes me smile.

"Morning Roza."

Her gaze moves to me and she smiles back.

"Morning Comrade."

Rose's POV-

"Aunt Rose, do you feel it!?" Paul's voice breaks my gaze from Dimitri's. "I bet you can feel it!"

"Feel what bud?" I laugh.

I watch Dimitri start putting on his tie and try to ignore the way his muscle bunch up in his shirt. Paul lets out another squeal and breaks my concentration.

"You touched my hand Aunt Rose." His excitement brings happiness fluttering in my chest.

He jumps down off the bed and flies towards the door and stops in front of me. Smiling widely, he jumps up and down.

"I SAW IT!" He shouts one more time, before running out of the room. Dimitri and I are alone.

Moving forward I start to make his bed.

"Any idea what has Paul so worked up?" I laugh as I tug the pillows into place. I hear the door click shut before arms wrap around me from behind.

The physical side of our relationship was booming and the passion never seemed to end, leaving me dizzy. It seemed like the pull was stronger than ever and over the last month it never lessened. Growing up I'd never imagined being able to have this. This...something flashes in my mind and I shy away from it.

"Comrade stop."

"Why?" He mumbles as he lays kisses along my neck. I close my eyes and enjoy the feeling for a moment before I pull away and walk across the room.

"You'll start something, and we have things to do today."

His hum fills the air and he starts moving around the bed and towards me. Anticipation fills me as I back up. Faster than I can keep up with, he lunges forward. Jumping on the bed I narrowly miss his grasp and dart out the door.

"You'll have to be faster than that_UMPH!" My taunt comes to a screeching halt as my body slams into something, and I'm sent tumbling to the floor. "Ow."

The word come out in a short groan as I blink up at Abe.

"What were you doing in Belikov's room? With the door closed?"

I open my mouth to let out an excuse when the phone rings. Getting up I pick it up.

"Belikov residence." I laugh out as I make a nonchalant gesture to Abe's question.

"I'd appreciate if you'd stop stealing my phone charger Rose." Dimitri comes barreling out of his room shaking a cord with an annoyed look on his face, but the charade barely off puts Abe's suspicion. Sticking out my tongue at him, I turn my attention back to the silent phone call.

"Hello?" I ask. "Okay well, I'm going to hang up."

"Rose."

The single word has ice running up my spine and before I can stop myself I slam the phone down on the receiver.

Dimitri's POV-

I can't even concentrate on lying to Abe as I watch Rose's face drain of color as she slams the phone down. Her breathing is coming in short bursts and there's a wild look in her eyes that has me worried.

"Kid?" Abe's voice sounds concerned. "What's wrong? You look as if you've talked to a ghost. Who was it?"

I watch as confusion dampens the look in her eyes. She glances around the room as if she's realizing where she is and takes a step away from us. Fear slivers through me at her behavior. I march forward and have the phone number redialed.

"The number you've called is not in service. Please hang up try another number."

I feel confused, but my attention returns to Rose who looks like she might faint…or vomit…or maybe both. I watch Abe reach forward and grab her arm, causing Rose to jump almost a foot.

"Let's get some air kid." He says arrogantly.

Rose stays silent, but I watch her shove his hand away and before I know what's happening she darts away. Her footsteps echo down the stairs and I hear mama shout to her, before the door slams shut with the force of a bulldozer. Abe and I are left alone in silence.

Rose's POV-

I'm running. I'm running down the stairs. I'm running past Olena. I'm running outside and my run turns into a sprint. I don't know where I'm going, I'm just sprinting as far from that phone as possible. Everything blurs past me so fast I don't know where I am. I push past people. I narrowly miss cars and even a pole. I push myself faster and faster.

"Rose."

My muscles scream at me, but I push them to work harder. The blurred lines of the town turn to grass and then trees.

"Rose."

Tears sting my eyes and I swipe at them angrily as my lungs burn for air.

"Rose."

My mind screeches for help.

"Rose."

My foot catches on something and I'm flying before I slam in to a wood.

"Rose."

I'd just like to apologize if this chapter felt off. It's weird jumping back into a story after you stop writing for so long. Almost like needing to remind yourself to breathe after you've held your breath for too long. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. The thing that really made me love this story so much was the growth Rose would experience, but I didn't want to wipe out what made her…well her. So drop a review. Let me know if this flowed alright. Tell me how you're feeling! I'll update soon!